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1
00:00:03,484 --> 00:00:04,997
Rick, we did it!
We... we got it!
2
00:00:05,060 --> 00:00:06,373
Hurry up, Morty.
Get in!
3
00:00:06,629 --> 00:00:08,082
- Chachi!
- **** Chachi, Morty.
4
00:00:08,170 --> 00:00:10,066
Did you get it?
He helped me escape prison.
5
00:00:10,154 --> 00:00:12,334
Did you get
the ultimate cube?
6
00:00:12,669 --> 00:00:14,051
Oh, it's purple.
7
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,254
Y-you said
it was purple.
8
00:00:15,342 --> 00:00:16,482
I said mine was.
9
00:00:16,570 --> 00:00:18,100
I didn't know they all were.
10
00:00:18,544 --> 00:00:20,683
And now we do,
thanks to Chichi.
11
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:21,842
Chachi.
12
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:25,916
So, uh,
w-w-when do I get it?
13
00:00:26,004 --> 00:00:26,871
Get what, a hug?
14
00:00:26,959 --> 00:00:28,809
Let's find a planet
with a garden hose first.
15
00:00:28,897 --> 00:00:30,277
- A dragon.
- A dragon.
16
00:00:30,365 --> 00:00:32,388
You asked me to cut class
and fight robots with you.
17
00:00:32,475 --> 00:00:33,223
I said, "no."
18
00:00:33,311 --> 00:00:34,996
you said, "millions of lives
depend on it."
19
00:00:35,084 --> 00:00:36,698
I said, "I'll do it
for a dragon."
20
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:38,121
you said, "whatever."
21
00:00:38,209 --> 00:00:39,707
I want my dragon.
22
00:00:39,795 --> 00:00:41,191
You know who's into dragons,
Morty?
23
00:00:41,279 --> 00:00:42,590
Nerds that refuse to admit
24
00:00:42,677 --> 00:00:44,034
- they're christian.
- I want my dragon.
25
00:00:44,121 --> 00:00:45,185
Let me give you
rocket shoes.
26
00:00:45,272 --> 00:00:46,566
Let me give you
wolverine claws.
27
00:00:46,654 --> 00:00:48,202
Let me give you
a **** rocket hat.
28
00:00:48,356 --> 00:00:49,932
Just be sure to use it
with the rocket shoes,
29
00:00:50,019 --> 00:00:50,941
or it'll rip your head off.
30
00:00:51,029 --> 00:00:53,152
I want my dragon!
I want my dragon!
31
00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:54,215
I want my dragon!
32
00:00:54,318 --> 00:00:55,590
- Oh.
- Ha! Ha!
33
00:00:55,917 --> 00:00:57,324
Oh, crap.
34
00:00:57,412 --> 00:00:58,598
Crap.
35
00:01:01,501 --> 00:01:03,350
Dad, are you okay?
36
00:01:03,454 --> 00:01:05,202
Your ship
crashed in Malta.
37
00:01:05,272 --> 00:01:06,582
I'm okay.
38
00:01:06,713 --> 00:01:08,269
Oh, thank God.
39
00:01:09,518 --> 00:01:11,129
Dad, did you promise
Morty
40
00:01:11,217 --> 00:01:12,965
- a dragon?
- Fuuuuuuu...
41
00:01:41,020 --> 00:01:43,119
*RICKY AND MORTY*
Season 04 Episode 04
42
00:01:43,214 --> 00:01:44,754
Title :"Claw and Hoarder:
Special Ricktim's Mort"
43
00:01:45,310 --> 00:01:47,043
- Ugh!
- Bleed here
44
00:01:47,301 --> 00:01:48,302
and here.
45
00:01:48,390 --> 00:01:49,418
I'm not co-bleeding.
46
00:01:49,506 --> 00:01:51,106
Under authority
of our treaty
47
00:01:51,201 --> 00:01:53,300
'twixt the realms
of dragon and man...
48
00:01:53,388 --> 00:01:54,552
Oh, my God,
it's my first gay wedding.
49
00:01:54,639 --> 00:01:55,807
- Summer!
- ..I hereby bind
50
00:01:55,895 --> 00:01:57,977
this noble serpent and rider
51
00:01:58,065 --> 00:01:59,486
at the soul.
52
00:01:59,683 --> 00:02:02,708
Here's your tome of
dragon spells and lore.
53
00:02:02,796 --> 00:02:04,158
That'll have everything
you need.
54
00:02:04,246 --> 00:02:05,283
Enjoy your dragon.
55
00:02:05,371 --> 00:02:07,179
Okay, dragon,
here's the house rules.
56
00:02:07,267 --> 00:02:10,267
My name is Balthromaw,
57
00:02:10,391 --> 00:02:12,945
breaker of sky,
slayer of mountain.
58
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:15,477
Rule one... you are now scooper
of your own poops,
59
00:02:15,564 --> 00:02:18,463
or I will take you down like
the black-light poster you are.
60
00:02:18,551 --> 00:02:20,213
I don't got any more rules.
That's it.
61
00:02:21,416 --> 00:02:23,658
I'm guessing you'd rather not
be tagged in this.
62
00:02:23,869 --> 00:02:25,541
Okay, I'll bite.
63
00:02:25,629 --> 00:02:26,806
What's with
the talking cat?
64
00:02:26,894 --> 00:02:28,414
It's a dragon,
dip knob.
65
00:02:28,502 --> 00:02:29,978
I know that's a dragon.
66
00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:32,815
I'm talking about
the talking cat in my bedroom.
67
00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,690
Jerry, why would I give Morty
a talking dragon
68
00:02:34,777 --> 00:02:36,463
and you a talking cat
at the same time?
69
00:02:36,551 --> 00:02:37,791
Those concepts bump.
70
00:02:37,879 --> 00:02:39,853
If you're talking to a cat,
it's an abnormal event
71
00:02:39,941 --> 00:02:42,056
unrelated to me like
when you went to pluto
72
00:02:42,144 --> 00:02:43,626
or **** my daughter.
73
00:02:43,816 --> 00:02:46,322
Okay, there's really no need
to get savage.
74
00:02:47,622 --> 00:02:48,676
So?
75
00:02:48,764 --> 00:02:50,783
Eh, he says he has nothing
to do with your talking.
76
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:53,267
Told you.
So then why are you talking?
77
00:02:53,401 --> 00:02:55,784
Why should that matter?
Why should it not matter?
78
00:02:55,871 --> 00:02:57,919
How do I know I'm not
hallucinating?
79
00:02:58,006 --> 00:02:59,902
Rick said this is
an abnormal event.
80
00:02:59,990 --> 00:03:01,956
Do you always need Rick
to tell you what's going on?
81
00:03:02,043 --> 00:03:04,150
Maybe it's time you stopped
asking questions
82
00:03:04,238 --> 00:03:05,707
and started having fun.
83
00:03:06,296 --> 00:03:07,644
Oh.
84
00:03:08,331 --> 00:03:10,557
Wow, okay.
85
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,121
So, what do you want?
86
00:03:12,209 --> 00:03:13,611
I want you to take us
to the airport
87
00:03:13,699 --> 00:03:16,095
and get us two
first-class tickets to Florida.
88
00:03:16,183 --> 00:03:19,175
Why, I...
I can do that.
89
00:03:21,691 --> 00:03:23,793
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
90
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:26,816
Oh, this is so cool!
91
00:03:30,546 --> 00:03:33,080
I await
your next command.
92
00:03:33,168 --> 00:03:35,525
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Nobody is commanding anybody.
93
00:03:35,613 --> 00:03:38,860
I love soaring through the sky
with you as equals.
94
00:03:39,027 --> 00:03:40,423
W-what do you
want to do?
95
00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:43,681
I want to enter my lair
and sleep upon my hoard
96
00:03:43,769 --> 00:03:46,097
until the age of man
expires.
97
00:03:46,363 --> 00:03:47,488
Okay.
98
00:03:47,589 --> 00:03:49,070
Split the diff?
99
00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:52,550
20-minute nap
and soar through the sky?
100
00:03:52,847 --> 00:03:53,608
Ugh.
101
00:03:53,695 --> 00:03:55,476
As you command.
102
00:03:55,563 --> 00:03:56,988
Okay, see you soon.
103
00:03:57,232 --> 00:03:58,446
T-this is fun.
104
00:03:58,629 --> 00:04:00,418
Yeah, right.
105
00:04:01,323 --> 00:04:03,050
What's this show called,
"ass"?
106
00:04:03,138 --> 00:04:05,808
Yeah, it's like "bones,"
but they solve ass crimes.
107
00:04:05,902 --> 00:04:07,057
This ass is a clue.
108
00:04:07,144 --> 00:04:08,283
Are these two
gonna hook up?
109
00:04:08,371 --> 00:04:10,462
No, and only the lame fans
want that.
110
00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:12,048
Don't tell me
how to enjoy things.
111
00:04:12,136 --> 00:04:13,869
Go to her ass.
That's Brenner.
112
00:04:13,957 --> 00:04:15,582
Go to Brenner ass.
113
00:04:16,675 --> 00:04:18,033
Honeymoon over
already?
114
00:04:18,121 --> 00:04:19,221
What's that
supposed to mean?
115
00:04:19,308 --> 00:04:20,923
Admit it, Morty.
Dragons suck.
116
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:23,065
Why don't you admit you don't
anyone else to be happy
117
00:04:23,152 --> 00:04:25,332
because
you're a sad old fart?
118
00:04:25,911 --> 00:04:27,837
How do you
saddle a fart?
119
00:04:27,925 --> 00:04:28,977
Holy ****
look!
120
00:04:29,064 --> 00:04:31,136
- I love you, ass.
- I love you, Brenner.
121
00:04:31,224 --> 00:04:32,305
- No.
- Shh.
122
00:04:32,393 --> 00:04:33,582
- Ah!
- Whoa!
123
00:04:34,300 --> 00:04:35,402
And that's
the end of the
124
00:04:35,490 --> 00:04:36,849
"Morty gets a dragon"
episode.
125
00:04:36,965 --> 00:04:37,822
Are you gonna
slay it?
126
00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:40,207
First off,
I always slay it, queen.
127
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:42,384
- Secondly, yes.
- Should I pause "ass"?
128
00:04:42,472 --> 00:04:44,715
Nah, it's kind of boring
now that they're together.
129
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:51,738
Hey **** face!
130
00:04:51,826 --> 00:04:54,402
Will you shut the **** up
or at least roll over?
131
00:04:54,678 --> 00:04:56,861
Oh, no, it burns.
132
00:04:56,949 --> 00:04:59,230
Oh, my God.
Oh, the fire of... of it all.
133
00:04:59,847 --> 00:05:01,361
Ah, if only I had
prepared better
134
00:05:01,449 --> 00:05:03,134
for this terrifying battle
by remembering
135
00:05:03,222 --> 00:05:05,280
the only thing dragons
are known for.
136
00:05:12,386 --> 00:05:13,988
Careful you don't
get heartburn.
137
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,205
I made that android
with a lot of c4.
138
00:05:16,293 --> 00:05:18,002
Oh, I'm sorry.
I imbued it with
139
00:05:18,090 --> 00:05:20,457
a remote-controlled
explode-y potion.
140
00:05:20,715 --> 00:05:22,207
You have bested me.
141
00:05:22,295 --> 00:05:24,252
I am at your service.
142
00:05:24,340 --> 00:05:25,861
Good to be on
the same parchment.
143
00:05:25,949 --> 00:05:27,642
Now, I'm gonna tell
my grandson you ran off
144
00:05:27,730 --> 00:05:30,471
with a low-flying 747
while you pack up your...
145
00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:33,095
Wait, is this...
Why do you have an original
146
00:05:33,183 --> 00:05:35,939
ecto cooler
juice box from 1989?
147
00:05:36,027 --> 00:05:38,736
I hoard that which
your kind covets.
148
00:05:38,824 --> 00:05:41,666
- Give you 20 bucks for it.
- Nice try.
149
00:05:41,754 --> 00:05:43,424
What the hell else
are you hoarding down here?
150
00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:45,900
Cha-ching.
"small soldiers" spin pops?
151
00:05:45,988 --> 00:05:47,525
- Don't open that.
- I'm not an idiot.
152
00:05:47,613 --> 00:05:50,712
Hey, why do you have future's
self-titled album on vinyl?
153
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,026
Look closer.
154
00:05:52,238 --> 00:05:54,028
Oh ****
he signed it.
155
00:05:54,115 --> 00:05:55,300
Closer.
156
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:57,845
He signed it in Molly
and percocet?
157
00:05:57,933 --> 00:05:59,517
I could spend all night
down here.
158
00:05:59,605 --> 00:06:02,298
Do you indulge
in volcanic fumes?
159
00:06:03,675 --> 00:06:05,064
Is it gonna
**** up my brain?
160
00:06:05,152 --> 00:06:06,683
- No.
- I'll do it anyway.
161
00:06:06,771 --> 00:06:10,457
Hoo, those were not
cheap tickets,
162
00:06:10,675 --> 00:06:14,148
but, um,
I'm down to clown.
163
00:06:14,651 --> 00:06:17,306
Uh, w-w-w-why can you talk
again, uh?
164
00:06:17,394 --> 00:06:18,541
It's not important,
jerry.
165
00:06:18,629 --> 00:06:20,002
Okay,
but why Florida?
166
00:06:20,090 --> 00:06:21,689
Because they don't
ask questions.
167
00:06:21,777 --> 00:06:24,048
They play volleyball,
they party, and they have fun.
168
00:06:24,136 --> 00:06:25,526
Right, right.
169
00:06:25,714 --> 00:06:27,087
You can do this,
Jerry.
170
00:06:27,175 --> 00:06:28,371
I can do this.
171
00:06:28,650 --> 00:06:30,087
I can do this.
172
00:06:30,616 --> 00:06:33,521
Ohh!
Ugh!
173
00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:35,548
Oh, yeah.
174
00:06:35,690 --> 00:06:37,624
Hey, Jerry, after this game,
175
00:06:37,712 --> 00:06:39,327
come to my yacht
and bring your cat.
176
00:06:39,415 --> 00:06:40,675
You got it, Jipe.
177
00:06:40,782 --> 00:06:42,507
I got to admit,
you were right.
178
00:06:42,595 --> 00:06:44,343
I've got to tell you
something, Jerry.
179
00:06:44,431 --> 00:06:46,948
This is the happiest I've ever
been in my entire life.
180
00:06:47,035 --> 00:06:49,796
Oh, gross!
Who shit in the sand?
181
00:06:49,884 --> 00:06:52,218
Someone took a small shit
in the sand
182
00:06:52,306 --> 00:06:54,116
and buried it with, like,
two little kicks
183
00:06:54,204 --> 00:06:56,424
and just left it here
like a land mine.
184
00:06:56,572 --> 00:06:58,626
Why and who?
185
00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:00,937
It was him.
186
00:07:02,447 --> 00:07:04,017
Help!
187
00:07:04,105 --> 00:07:05,105
♪ Yo ♪
188
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,235
♪ Percocets, yeah, Molly,
percocets, percosets ♪
189
00:07:08,323 --> 00:07:11,413
♪ Percocets, yeah, Molly,
percocets, percosets ♪
190
00:07:11,501 --> 00:07:14,189
♪ Mask on,
mask off ♪
191
00:07:14,395 --> 00:07:17,454
♪ Gas gone, never nod off ♪
192
00:07:20,802 --> 00:07:23,651
I'm being summoned
by Morty.
193
00:07:23,738 --> 00:07:25,553
Yeah.
He's, uh, texting me.
194
00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:27,755
Hmm.
How are you responding?
195
00:07:27,892 --> 00:07:29,429
Ugh, I tend not to,
196
00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:31,937
or maybe I'll send, like,
a popular animated gif
197
00:07:32,025 --> 00:07:33,150
that could be
interpreted in
198
00:07:33,238 --> 00:07:35,111
- almost any way.
- Brilliant.
199
00:07:35,212 --> 00:07:36,798
I summon thee.
200
00:07:37,056 --> 00:07:40,415
I summon thee,
Balthromaw.
201
00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:41,798
What the hell?
202
00:07:41,956 --> 00:07:44,109
Taylor swift pumping her hands
in the air?
203
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:45,563
- What does it mean when...
- It means you're lame.
204
00:07:45,650 --> 00:07:46,353
♪ Yo ♪
205
00:07:46,441 --> 00:07:49,502
♪ Percocets, yeah, Molly,
percocets, percosets ♪
206
00:07:49,590 --> 00:07:52,290
♪ Percocets, yeah, Molly,
percocets, percosets ♪
207
00:07:52,697 --> 00:07:55,267
♪ Mask on,
mask off ♪
208
00:07:55,837 --> 00:07:59,172
♪ Gas gone,
never nod off ♪
209
00:08:01,776 --> 00:08:03,124
What's the saying?
210
00:08:03,446 --> 00:08:07,027
"Orcs work to live.
Dwarves live to work."
211
00:08:07,115 --> 00:08:08,309
so dumb.
212
00:08:08,397 --> 00:08:09,623
If there's ever a saying
about me,
213
00:08:09,710 --> 00:08:11,264
I'll fly into
the **** sun.
214
00:08:14,857 --> 00:08:17,301
Oh, you're small for a dragon,
Rick.
215
00:08:17,389 --> 00:08:20,114
Well, I sleep on an extra big
pile of awesome shit.
216
00:08:20,202 --> 00:08:22,600
Then there will be sayings
about you.
217
00:08:22,810 --> 00:08:24,943
Your lessers
will hunt you down,
218
00:08:25,158 --> 00:08:28,223
and you will be
owned or slain.
219
00:08:28,364 --> 00:08:31,064
That's why they call it
a dying breed, brother.
220
00:08:34,275 --> 00:08:35,698
Ugh!
Ughh!
221
00:08:35,786 --> 00:08:37,307
Oh, God, ugh.
222
00:08:37,395 --> 00:08:38,528
- My soul.
- Oh!
223
00:08:38,616 --> 00:08:40,161
Oh, yeah.
I'm...
224
00:08:40,249 --> 00:08:42,161
I'm... I'm a dragon.
225
00:08:42,266 --> 00:08:43,994
- Oh!
- Ugh, I'm bonding.
226
00:08:44,113 --> 00:08:45,707
I'm bonding too.
227
00:08:45,879 --> 00:08:47,718
- Oh!
- Yeah.
228
00:08:47,805 --> 00:08:48,953
What the ****
229
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,106
- Morty, I can explain.
- Stop!
230
00:08:51,194 --> 00:08:52,690
Why are you
still doing it?
231
00:08:52,778 --> 00:08:54,403
Why does it
feel better now?
232
00:08:54,491 --> 00:08:56,608
I hope it's not because
you're watching but don't go anywhere.
233
00:08:56,695 --> 00:08:58,443
How did you find us?
234
00:08:58,562 --> 00:09:01,801
We followed the smell
of sulfur and skankery.
235
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,542
Oh!
Oh, yeah.
236
00:09:04,801 --> 00:09:07,136
- Oh, man, ugh.
- **** this.
237
00:09:07,224 --> 00:09:09,596
You can take this stupid
fake soul-bond contract,
238
00:09:09,684 --> 00:09:11,762
and you can... mm!
Ah!
239
00:09:12,346 --> 00:09:13,450
No refunds.
240
00:09:13,538 --> 00:09:16,161
Your dragon soul-bonded
with my grandpa.
241
00:09:16,262 --> 00:09:18,482
Oh, my!
I am so sorry.
242
00:09:18,569 --> 00:09:20,250
That is
a total violation.
243
00:09:20,337 --> 00:09:21,352
Yeah, no shit.
244
00:09:21,439 --> 00:09:23,220
I'll take care of this
at once.
245
00:09:23,307 --> 00:09:24,653
You slut dragon!
246
00:09:24,778 --> 00:09:25,784
What the ****
you slut.
247
00:09:25,887 --> 00:09:26,637
- Chill out, dude.
- Slut!
248
00:09:26,725 --> 00:09:27,925
- Okay, that's...
- You slut!
249
00:09:28,012 --> 00:09:29,046
- Y-you don't have to...
- Slut!
250
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:30,280
Shame on you!
251
00:09:30,368 --> 00:09:31,965
- Shame, you slut! You slutty,
- Ow!
252
00:09:32,053 --> 00:09:33,074
- Why the **** does it feel
- slutty
253
00:09:33,161 --> 00:09:34,020
- like you're whipping me?
- Slut!
254
00:09:34,108 --> 00:09:35,530
Because
your soul got
255
00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:37,390
- tangled in a dirty...
- Ah!
256
00:09:37,478 --> 00:09:38,750
- ..Slutty...
- Ow!
257
00:09:38,838 --> 00:09:40,052
- ..slut soul!
- Ow!
258
00:09:40,140 --> 00:09:41,154
- Let's go!
- Ow! Ow!
259
00:09:41,242 --> 00:09:42,248
Get to that portal,
260
00:09:42,336 --> 00:09:43,726
- Grandpa, do something,
- you slut.
261
00:09:43,813 --> 00:09:45,080
Or I will tweet,
262
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:46,991
and you will be canceled.
263
00:09:47,443 --> 00:09:48,787
Hey, dandruff the great,
264
00:09:48,875 --> 00:09:50,616
lighten up and
give the kid his dragon.
265
00:09:50,704 --> 00:09:52,014
By whose command?
266
00:09:52,103 --> 00:09:53,340
You have no magic.
267
00:09:53,428 --> 00:09:55,185
Yeah, I know.
I have actual power.
268
00:09:55,319 --> 00:09:56,444
Not here, you don't.
269
00:09:56,574 --> 00:09:59,657
True power looks like this...
270
00:10:00,022 --> 00:10:01,731
Stone monster.
271
00:10:01,819 --> 00:10:04,207
Stick that up your ass
oh, you're done?
272
00:10:04,295 --> 00:10:07,741
I thought the rock monster was
here to introduce a physicist.
273
00:10:10,030 --> 00:10:12,319
Spinal cord, uh,
activate morphine.
274
00:10:13,057 --> 00:10:15,320
Oh,
I might be ****
275
00:10:15,408 --> 00:10:17,327
Lightning bridge!
276
00:10:19,655 --> 00:10:20,809
Okay, he's gone.
Listen up.
277
00:10:20,897 --> 00:10:22,349
There's probably animals
in these hills.
278
00:10:22,436 --> 00:10:24,545
If you spare me, I can make
your crotch a salt lick.
279
00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:26,826
Agana aksaka sapooloo.
280
00:10:31,202 --> 00:10:32,434
Thank you, Morty.
281
00:10:32,522 --> 00:10:34,824
Figures you'd be higher status
in lame world.
282
00:10:34,912 --> 00:10:36,637
Get your **** together,
lair wrecker.
283
00:10:36,725 --> 00:10:38,062
We need to rescue
Balthromaw.
284
00:10:38,149 --> 00:10:41,265
Morty, the moral of this story
is bros before dragons.
285
00:10:41,352 --> 00:10:42,303
You know what
I'm talking about?
286
00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:45,535
Yeah, if he dies while
you're soul bonded, you die too.
287
00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:49,389
Morty, the moral of this story
is bros rescue dragons.
288
00:10:49,789 --> 00:10:50,858
Balthromaw,
289
00:10:51,030 --> 00:10:53,334
by soul bonding
with multiple riders,
290
00:10:53,422 --> 00:10:56,772
you have violated the treaty
between dragon and mankind.
291
00:10:56,930 --> 00:11:01,116
The dragonarchy sentences you
to hang by the neck until dead.
292
00:11:01,204 --> 00:11:02,952
On the count of three.
293
00:11:03,165 --> 00:11:05,046
One dragonarchy,
294
00:11:05,134 --> 00:11:07,016
two dragonarchy,
295
00:11:07,336 --> 00:11:09,787
2 1/2...
I just wanted to make sure...
296
00:11:09,875 --> 00:11:11,522
Three!
297
00:11:11,610 --> 00:11:13,912
Grandpa Rick, what's wrong?
298
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,716
Oh, God. The wizard must have
hung Balthromaw!
299
00:11:16,804 --> 00:11:18,295
Well, **** it.
Can we go back then?
300
00:11:18,383 --> 00:11:20,498
W-well, no, no.
It takes, like, 78 years
301
00:11:20,586 --> 00:11:21,827
to hang a dragon
to death, so...
302
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:23,596
Aw, man.
It's so annoying.
303
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,928
You ever, like, try to swallow
a really big vitamin
304
00:11:26,016 --> 00:11:27,412
with no water?
Ugh!
305
00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:28,891
You know, like
306
00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:30,891
Really, like,
big one, you know,
307
00:11:30,979 --> 00:11:33,962
and it kind of gets,
ugh, stuck in your throat?
308
00:11:34,050 --> 00:11:35,093
It's... it's annoying.
All right.
309
00:11:35,180 --> 00:11:36,928
Morty, go ahead
and activate this golem.
310
00:11:37,404 --> 00:11:39,741
Agana aksaka sapooloo.
311
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,499
**** dumb.
All right.
312
00:11:54,613 --> 00:11:57,251
Who wants to be infused with,
like, uh, unreasonable power?
313
00:11:57,339 --> 00:11:59,524
Oh, can I be, like,
a sexy arrow-shooty lady?
314
00:11:59,682 --> 00:12:02,212
Yeah, whatever.
There's no rules. I don't care.
315
00:12:02,517 --> 00:12:04,399
Morty,
you want superpowers?
316
00:12:04,487 --> 00:12:06,369
No, thanks. I'm fine.
I've got my book.
317
00:12:06,473 --> 00:12:07,813
All right.
Good luck with that.
318
00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:09,315
Let's go.
319
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:12,165
God, it's like...
320
00:12:12,252 --> 00:12:13,603
have you ever had too much
orange juice,
321
00:12:13,690 --> 00:12:15,388
or, like,
you know how egg yolk
322
00:12:15,476 --> 00:12:17,102
kind of, like,
gets in your throat?
323
00:12:17,190 --> 00:12:18,137
Yeah, we get it.
324
00:12:18,225 --> 00:12:19,001
Come on and hurry.
325
00:12:19,089 --> 00:12:20,868
W-we got to free
Balthromaw.
326
00:12:20,978 --> 00:12:22,864
Upsulu...
I got this.
327
00:12:26,317 --> 00:12:28,161
Morty, how's that book
working out for you,
328
00:12:28,249 --> 00:12:30,293
you **** d-d-dumb-ass?
329
00:12:33,536 --> 00:12:34,942
Huh. You know what?
You're right.
330
00:12:35,030 --> 00:12:37,247
I could get used
to this magic stuff.
331
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,887
There's Balthromaw.
332
00:12:47,286 --> 00:12:48,698
Check this shit out.
Watch this.
333
00:12:48,786 --> 00:12:49,871
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Don't even look.
334
00:12:49,958 --> 00:12:51,073
Don't even bother looking.
335
00:12:51,340 --> 00:12:53,036
Just **** let magic
guide your arrow.
336
00:12:53,124 --> 00:12:54,684
Summer, what the hell
are you doing?
337
00:12:54,856 --> 00:12:57,142
- Take this seriously.
- Shut the **** up, Morty.
338
00:12:57,229 --> 00:12:59,612
Stop trying to pretend like
magic involves skill or thought.
339
00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:01,611
Summer, make it look like
it's coming out of your butthole.
340
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,012
Yeah, yeah.
341
00:13:03,666 --> 00:13:04,689
Ah!
342
00:13:04,777 --> 00:13:08,039
Oh, ****
my **** eye, oh!
343
00:13:08,260 --> 00:13:11,143
What in the medieval
equivalent of tarnation...
344
00:13:11,231 --> 00:13:12,748
Jesus christ!
345
00:13:13,045 --> 00:13:14,750
Summer,
you **** idiot!
346
00:13:14,838 --> 00:13:16,346
Power of 12 feet.
347
00:13:16,654 --> 00:13:18,039
Uh, ow ****
348
00:13:18,127 --> 00:13:19,213
I take it all back!
349
00:13:19,301 --> 00:13:21,205
I **** hate magic!
350
00:13:24,780 --> 00:13:25,907
Ah!
351
00:13:26,032 --> 00:13:27,180
Slut thief!
352
00:13:27,268 --> 00:13:28,941
You're a slut thief!
353
00:13:31,705 --> 00:13:33,979
Pretty fun boat,
fun people.
354
00:13:34,204 --> 00:13:37,025
That's great, not being asked
why I can talk.
355
00:13:37,682 --> 00:13:41,205
I'm a talking cat, but
"who cares why?" is my point.
356
00:13:41,346 --> 00:13:44,713
Well, nice talking to you
for no reason.
357
00:13:46,437 --> 00:13:47,883
Jorge,
That was a good one,
358
00:13:47,971 --> 00:13:49,837
but do you know what
a peanut butter gargoyle is?
359
00:13:49,924 --> 00:13:50,977
Nah, what's that?
360
00:13:51,065 --> 00:13:52,891
Dude, it's when you
take the chick,
361
00:13:52,979 --> 00:13:55,040
put her feet on a cathedral...
Sorry to interrupt, guys.
362
00:13:55,127 --> 00:13:58,031
Just want to clarify,
are these real sex positions?
363
00:13:58,119 --> 00:13:59,344
Because if they are,
364
00:13:59,432 --> 00:14:01,640
how are they gratifying
to the male at all?
365
00:14:01,877 --> 00:14:03,742
And if the goal is
to make something up,
366
00:14:03,830 --> 00:14:06,873
why not make up
something... Funnier?
367
00:14:07,967 --> 00:14:10,647
I'm asking too many questions,
aren't I?
368
00:14:11,295 --> 00:14:12,217
How ironic.
369
00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:13,597
Get out of Forida,
370
00:14:13,685 --> 00:14:14,802
- you overthinking cat.
- Why don't you go overthink
371
00:14:14,889 --> 00:14:16,542
**** up north in Georgia?
372
00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:18,123
- Hate that cat.
- Hate that cat.
373
00:14:27,647 --> 00:14:29,295
You got any money
for a cab?
374
00:14:29,444 --> 00:14:30,865
Why ask questions?
375
00:14:30,952 --> 00:14:32,433
Why not just have fun?
376
00:14:32,631 --> 00:14:33,834
I deserve that.
377
00:14:34,010 --> 00:14:36,806
Attention, citizens of draygon,
378
00:14:36,894 --> 00:14:39,634
a slut dragon has escaped.
379
00:14:39,722 --> 00:14:42,925
Anyone caught harboring it
is also a slut.
380
00:14:43,058 --> 00:14:44,579
- That's how it goes.
- Ow, my eye.
381
00:14:44,667 --> 00:14:47,462
It pains me that
you can feel my pain.
382
00:14:47,573 --> 00:14:48,869
Yeah, how about
you suck your ****
383
00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:50,603
Which is also
somehow my ****?
384
00:14:50,691 --> 00:14:54,126
Aw, why can't couples that start
out cheating ever end up happy?
385
00:14:54,214 --> 00:14:56,478
M-maybe I can find
that wizard's portal spell
386
00:14:56,566 --> 00:14:57,634
in here and g-get us home.
387
00:14:57,722 --> 00:14:59,385
How about finding the spell
that unbinds me
388
00:14:59,472 --> 00:15:00,618
from your **** dragon?
389
00:15:00,706 --> 00:15:02,396
No spells can do that.
390
00:15:02,511 --> 00:15:04,985
Only the wizard
can unbind soul bonds.
391
00:15:05,073 --> 00:15:06,306
Uh, who the **** are you?
392
00:15:06,394 --> 00:15:07,768
Who are we?
Who the **** are you, bitch?
393
00:15:07,855 --> 00:15:10,300
Debrah, stop.
We are the slut dragons.
394
00:15:10,388 --> 00:15:12,524
We live in these slut caves
where we ****
395
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:15,329
Suck, and eat **** and
we kindly ask that you leave.
396
00:15:15,417 --> 00:15:17,814
If the wizard knows we are here,
he will imprison us.
397
00:15:17,902 --> 00:15:19,274
Yeah!
We like it down here
398
00:15:19,362 --> 00:15:21,720
'cause we can ****
woolly mammoths. Get out!
399
00:15:21,808 --> 00:15:23,213
- Get the **** out of here, Mmichael!
- Shut up, Mmichael!
400
00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:24,674
You're the only one
that **** that thing.
401
00:15:24,761 --> 00:15:25,846
Get the **** out of here.
402
00:15:25,933 --> 00:15:27,790
Well, at least
I'm not into **** play.
403
00:15:27,878 --> 00:15:28,900
- **** you!
- Hey, wait!
404
00:15:28,987 --> 00:15:30,425
Everybody stop, stop!
405
00:15:30,527 --> 00:15:32,110
Listen,
this is all my fault.
406
00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:34,704
I started all this when
I tried to control Balthromaw,
407
00:15:34,792 --> 00:15:35,946
and that was **** up.
408
00:15:36,034 --> 00:15:37,532
Nobody should control
anyone,
409
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:39,149
especially that guy up there.
410
00:15:39,237 --> 00:15:41,720
And, um, you can eat ****
if you want, I guess.
411
00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:42,940
- I, uh...
- I got this, Morty.
412
00:15:43,027 --> 00:15:44,657
Okay, listen up,
slut dragons!
413
00:15:44,745 --> 00:15:46,464
Wouldn't you rather
be sluts up there,
414
00:15:46,552 --> 00:15:48,915
have a **** world
instead of a **** cave?
415
00:15:49,003 --> 00:15:50,095
What's wrong with you?
416
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:52,415
This man with a ponytail
makes a valid point.
417
00:15:52,503 --> 00:15:55,212
All dragons are sluts deep down,
even the ones up above,
418
00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:57,448
but we would have to kill
the wizard to be free.
419
00:15:57,535 --> 00:15:58,683
He is too powerful.
420
00:15:58,770 --> 00:16:01,136
There is a way
to kill the wizard.
421
00:16:01,224 --> 00:16:03,048
- Whoa.
- Who's this mysterious character?
422
00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:04,790
Shadow jacker,
you haven't come out
423
00:16:04,878 --> 00:16:06,423
of your masturbation cave
in eons.
424
00:16:06,511 --> 00:16:09,714
It's high time I emerge
from my **** cocoon.
425
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:12,149
I grow tired of eavesdropping
and masturbating
426
00:16:12,237 --> 00:16:13,430
to the sounds
you all make.
427
00:16:13,518 --> 00:16:14,362
Jesus christ.
All right.
428
00:16:14,450 --> 00:16:15,465
C-could use
a little more mystery.
429
00:16:15,552 --> 00:16:17,579
Oh, oh, just now
seeing the staff.
430
00:16:17,667 --> 00:16:20,804
We've never had enough sluts
to defeat the wizard.
431
00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:23,423
Now, with the four fresh,
wet sluts that
432
00:16:23,511 --> 00:16:26,811
just landed on our doorstep,
we finally have a chance.
433
00:16:26,941 --> 00:16:28,946
So killing the wizard
will break my soul bond.
434
00:16:29,033 --> 00:16:31,215
Yes, it solves
all of our problems.
435
00:16:31,316 --> 00:16:33,517
We must begin
a 10-slut soul orgy...
436
00:16:33,604 --> 00:16:36,009
- Wait, wait, what?
- ..and become the all-slut
437
00:16:36,097 --> 00:16:37,368
slut phoenix dragon,
438
00:16:37,456 --> 00:16:38,885
- slut.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Hold on.
439
00:16:38,972 --> 00:16:40,498
There's got to be
something else in here.
440
00:16:40,585 --> 00:16:42,182
There's got to be another way.
Just give me a second.
441
00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:43,675
I haven't read
all this yet.
442
00:16:47,329 --> 00:16:49,402
Maybe don't tell your parents
we did this?
443
00:17:13,807 --> 00:17:16,222
Oh, oh, no.
Oh... wait, please, no!
444
00:17:16,310 --> 00:17:17,986
Ice spell!
Ice spell!
445
00:17:18,074 --> 00:17:19,737
Oh, God!
446
00:17:19,925 --> 00:17:21,425
That just made it
last longer.
447
00:17:21,513 --> 00:17:22,941
Ah, it burns longer!
448
00:17:23,029 --> 00:17:24,996
Ah, I could have died fast!
449
00:17:29,152 --> 00:17:30,306
Thank you, strangers.
450
00:17:30,394 --> 00:17:32,385
Well, it's your world now.
Have fun with empowerment.
451
00:17:32,472 --> 00:17:34,252
It seems to make everyone
that gets it really happy.
452
00:17:34,339 --> 00:17:37,175
All right, guys.
I'll use this to open a portal.
453
00:17:37,263 --> 00:17:39,605
Uh, open a portal
to earth.
454
00:17:40,214 --> 00:17:41,819
Let's get the hell
out of here fast.
455
00:17:42,003 --> 00:17:43,354
God, look at
this piece of ****
456
00:17:43,441 --> 00:17:45,722
Why is there writing on it?
Who writes on a portal?
457
00:17:48,412 --> 00:17:50,827
Should've taken me up on those
wolverine claws instead, Morty.
458
00:17:50,915 --> 00:17:52,339
Wait,
why did the dragon come?
459
00:17:52,427 --> 00:17:54,730
I was thinking
we could hang out?
460
00:17:54,819 --> 00:17:56,734
Oh, yeah.
Whoa, Jesus.
461
00:17:56,821 --> 00:17:58,821
Your dad's been texting me
this whole time?
462
00:17:58,909 --> 00:18:00,704
Uh, he's at an airport
with a cat.
463
00:18:00,792 --> 00:18:02,454
Okay, that...
That sounds... wow.
464
00:18:02,542 --> 00:18:03,565
You know,
I better check on him.
465
00:18:03,652 --> 00:18:05,337
Big season finale right there,
you know?
466
00:18:05,425 --> 00:18:06,753
Better, uh...
Better go right now.
467
00:18:06,841 --> 00:18:08,737
Also, I told you not
to get a dragon, Morty.
468
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:09,722
This is your fault. **** you,
469
00:18:09,810 --> 00:18:11,808
- worst adventure ever.
- Worst adventure ever.
470
00:18:11,896 --> 00:18:15,024
Yeah, uh, I guess you better be
on your way too, Balthromaw.
471
00:18:15,112 --> 00:18:16,727
Well, I've been thinking.
472
00:18:16,815 --> 00:18:20,284
What you said back there in the
cave really resonated with me.
473
00:18:20,386 --> 00:18:22,167
Maybe we could
try again?
474
00:18:22,255 --> 00:18:23,660
Look, to be honest,
I'm kind of grossed out
475
00:18:23,747 --> 00:18:25,862
with the sexual nature
of how everything unfolded.
476
00:18:25,950 --> 00:18:27,792
I didn't know
how sexual dragons were.
477
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:30,230
I kind of just wanted to do
some d&d stuff, you know?
478
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:32,542
And have a soul orgy
with your sister and grandpa
479
00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:34,175
and every dragon
we could find, yeah?
480
00:18:34,263 --> 00:18:36,178
No, look,
can you please just go?
481
00:18:36,266 --> 00:18:37,781
I-I-I really
want to shower.
482
00:18:37,869 --> 00:18:39,698
Maybe a quick soul bone
before I go.
483
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:40,839
I-I-I-I'm good.
484
00:18:40,927 --> 00:18:42,237
I think
I just need to be alone
485
00:18:42,325 --> 00:18:44,112
and sort of
un... unpack all this.
486
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,362
What about your grandpa?
487
00:18:45,450 --> 00:18:46,898
Would he want to?
I can wait.
488
00:18:46,992 --> 00:18:48,308
No,
I think you better go.
489
00:18:48,396 --> 00:18:50,078
I-I'm gonna take
that shower.
490
00:18:50,166 --> 00:18:52,781
If it's just warm liquid you
want tRickled over your body,
491
00:18:52,869 --> 00:18:53,918
- I could maybe...
- No, no, look.
492
00:18:54,005 --> 00:18:55,112
I just want to be clean!
493
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,349
I-I-I feel dirty after
everything that's happened.
494
00:18:57,474 --> 00:19:00,123
How about
a quick hand bond?
495
00:19:00,452 --> 00:19:02,238
- I like doing it.
- You're embarrassing yourself.
496
00:19:02,325 --> 00:19:03,823
I-I-I'm closing the door.
497
00:19:04,714 --> 00:19:06,839
**** soul teasers.
498
00:19:07,195 --> 00:19:09,214
This is a cool car.
I like having fun.
499
00:19:09,302 --> 00:19:11,117
That's what I'm talking about.
Keep it moving.
500
00:19:11,205 --> 00:19:12,417
Don't ask why I can talk.
501
00:19:12,505 --> 00:19:14,186
- Mm, mm, mm.
- Uh-huh.
502
00:19:14,301 --> 00:19:16,409
For sure.
For sure.
503
00:19:17,299 --> 00:19:18,390
Where are we going?
504
00:19:18,478 --> 00:19:20,612
Quantum radiator might need
some nanowater.
505
00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:22,636
We...
We can stretch our legs.
506
00:19:28,052 --> 00:19:30,716
So, uh,
why can you talk?
507
00:19:31,773 --> 00:19:32,841
What is this?
508
00:19:32,929 --> 00:19:35,209
I need you in one spot
for a clean mind scan.
509
00:19:35,297 --> 00:19:37,379
Mind scan?
Look, you're overthinking it.
510
00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:39,349
The point of a talking cat
is to have fun.
511
00:19:39,436 --> 00:19:41,631
I find the insinuation that
I can't ask questions
512
00:19:41,719 --> 00:19:43,414
and have fun
condescending.
513
00:19:43,601 --> 00:19:46,117
- Y-you find it condescending, Jerry?
- Yes.
514
00:19:46,205 --> 00:19:48,648
All right. I'm from outer space.
Happy? No.
515
00:19:48,868 --> 00:19:51,195
Exactly, because no answer
would be satisfying.
516
00:19:51,283 --> 00:19:52,344
Because it's a lie.
517
00:19:52,432 --> 00:19:53,617
Let's see the truth.
518
00:19:54,548 --> 00:19:55,898
What in the...
519
00:19:58,861 --> 00:20:00,562
Oh, son of a bitch.
520
00:20:00,650 --> 00:20:02,165
- Jerry, don't.
- I want to see.
521
00:20:02,253 --> 00:20:03,781
No, you do not.
522
00:20:06,555 --> 00:20:09,756
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no!
523
00:20:10,789 --> 00:20:12,017
At least now maybe...
524
00:20:12,105 --> 00:20:12,977
Get the hell out of here!
525
00:20:13,065 --> 00:20:14,384
- But I've got nowhere to go.
- Get out!
526
00:20:14,471 --> 00:20:15,975
- Get out!
- Get out!
527
00:20:24,116 --> 00:20:28,563
He was in my home where
I keep photos of my parents.
528
00:20:28,651 --> 00:20:29,883
Jerry, I have a device.
529
00:20:29,971 --> 00:20:31,219
I-it can make us forget.
530
00:20:31,307 --> 00:20:33,930
No, I don't think we should
forget,
531
00:20:34,018 --> 00:20:35,366
not this.
532
00:20:35,542 --> 00:20:37,623
Someone
has to remember.
533
00:20:37,711 --> 00:20:39,410
Someone will.
534
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:42,677
Did we crash?
535
00:20:42,771 --> 00:20:43,795
Where's the cat?
536
00:20:43,883 --> 00:20:45,692
He, uh, ran away.
537
00:20:45,780 --> 00:20:47,599
- Did you scan his brain?
- Yeah.
538
00:20:47,740 --> 00:20:49,239
Did you find out
why he can talk?
539
00:20:49,327 --> 00:20:50,739
He's from outer space.
540
00:20:50,928 --> 00:20:52,743
Outer space?
541
00:20:53,039 --> 00:20:54,653
That little...
542
00:20:54,864 --> 00:20:57,435
Of course, total mind ****
543
00:20:58,606 --> 00:21:05,280
Sync corrections by srjanapala
544
00:21:34,208 --> 00:21:36,013
Now, that's what I call
draggin'.
545
00:21:36,101 --> 00:21:37,416
What?
It's a joke.
546
00:21:37,631 --> 00:21:39,785
You're a dragon
draggin' your stuff.
547
00:21:39,873 --> 00:21:41,288
I understand.
548
00:21:41,376 --> 00:21:42,890
So, how you doing?
549
00:21:42,978 --> 00:21:44,826
I grow weary
of you humans.
550
00:21:45,242 --> 00:21:47,524
How about 50 bucks?
You weary of 50 bucks?
551
00:21:47,612 --> 00:21:48,832
I'm trying to
cheat on my wife.
552
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,069
I'm looking for a little magic,
a little fantasy.
553
00:21:51,157 --> 00:21:53,330
You could use some help.
Let's help each other, huh?
554
00:21:53,418 --> 00:21:54,666
50 bucks.
555
00:21:57,574 --> 00:21:58,652
Slut.
556
00:21:58,833 --> 00:22:00,129
Nice.
557
00:22:00,217 --> 00:22:01,865
Is there a reason
you can speak?
558
00:22:01,953 --> 00:22:04,642
Yeah,
and I'm ashamed of it.
559
00:22:04,730 --> 00:22:06,723
Then speak of it
no more.
560
00:22:06,972 --> 00:22:10,078
Do you wish to eat,
maybe bond a little?
561
00:22:10,197 --> 00:22:12,027
Yeah, I could bond.
562
00:22:12,175 --> 00:22:14,089
How long does it take you
to fly to Florida?
563
00:22:15,888 --> 00:22:17,082
Did you get any of that?
40479
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