Original subtitles

[somber music]

[mysterious music]

[TV announcer] Do you dream of living in a luxury home,

but can't afford the pricey rent,

much less a hefty mortgage?

[TV hissing]

Now you could live your dreams with no rent,

no mortgage and no money down.

[TV hissing]

It's not magic, it's Live-In Staging.

[TV hissing]

I've lived in a 4,000 square foot house

-with a pool, guest house... -[TV hissing]

The last one was over 5,000 square feet,

right on the water with fabulous views.

[TV hissing]

We are seeking talented individuals

to decorate and maintain these magnificent homes.

[TV hissing]

[TV announcer] Every day, people just like you are saying

goodbye to rent and hello to the home of their dreams.

[TV hissing]

So what are you waiting for?

-Call the number below-- -[TV hissing]

[TV announcer] Live your dreams with Live-In Staging.

[TV hissing]

[mysterious music]

[tapping]

[mechanical skittering]

[Camila] Jaime, wake up, we're almost there, babe.

I'm so sorry, he didn't sleep a wink last night.

Oh.

Too nervous.

[wind blowing]

Oh god, it's hot in here too.

I guess there's no escaping it today.

-[thermostat beeping] -Oh, piece of junk!

I think there's another thermostat upstairs.

Oh!

Can you believe this?

[scoffs]

It's just like one of the rooms in my magazines.

For a model, it has surprisingly few upgrades.

[sighing]

[mechanical skittering]

[suspenseful music]

[laughing] Did you see this?

Would you do me a favor and just get rid of all that crapola, would you?

As a matter of fact, why don't you take out the garbage right now?

Thanks.

Sure.

[suspenseful music]

[wind blowing]

[Brenda] When's your father coming with the rest of your furniture?

-All done. -Do you have your T-1112 form?

-Actually the agency said-- -The agency.

The agency was the one who swore the last family

didn't have any pets!

Now where the hell are they?

I did go through an orientation.

Orientation? Do you want a real orientation?

Do you know these local punks have gotten so cocky

they started breaking into my lockboxes

so I have to carry every single pair of keys

for every single empty listing that I have, 49 of them!

[keys jingling]

This guy, this is two doors down, he's a foreclosure.

This guy, now he was your next-door neighbor,

he cut and run,

and it wasn't two weeks before the garage was graffitied.

When I started here, it was so different.

So different.

There were hundreds of houses, hundreds of sales.

Dozens of streets.

Do you know I have a cul-de-sac named after me?

[chuckling]

-[glass crashing] -[sighs]

Jaime!

The market crash is no different from any other disaster.

Nobody wants to be the first family to move back in, you know?

I mean, they can't picture it.

It's not personal.

They need living proof that it can happen.

That's why I hired the agency and that's why the agency

hired you, but this this a job!

-It's not a vacation, it's a job with real rules. -[watch beeping]

Just like a real job. The other family who lived here did not understand that.

They didn't understand that this house needs to be show ready at all times.

-It has to be furnished, decorated, cleaned. -Mom?

-Not now, baby. -There cannot be pets, no smoking, no water beds,

-no big parties. -Mom, you promised.

I'm so sorry, Brenda,

where did you say that half bath was again?

[Brenda sighing]

[toilet flushing]

We need more Depakene.

Oh no, whatever will we do?

Do you think she noticed? She didn't say anything.

-[knocking] -[Brenda] Mrs. Torres, is everything all right in there?

Okay, just two seconds.

Tongue.

[Camila sighs]

[Camila blowing raspberry]

Okay, come on.

[mysterious music]

[horn blaring]

[man yelling]

[TV announcer] Today, nearly 500,000 homes

stand empty across the United States.

Developers are desperate to find qualified individuals

to protect their...

-[Camila] All right, Agent Torres, we need your testimony. -[Jaime] Stop it!

How's it feel to be one of the new occupants

of this fabulous house?

Stop, I mean it.

Okay, okay.

Just wanted to have a memento.

So what do you think?

It's good.

Hey, promise me you won't go around that pool without me.

Okay?

I worry, baby, there's nobody else around.

It's hard to believe isn't it?

We live here, doc.

We live here.

[wind blowing]

-¶ Waiting ¶ -[coyote howling]

¶ I've been waiting ¶

¶ For someone to come along ¶

¶ Waiting ¶

¶ I've been waiting ¶

¶ For you to come ¶

¶ Along ¶

¶ And waiting ¶

¶ Is the hardest thing ¶

¶ A man can do ¶

¶ So I wait for you ¶

-[dog barking] -¶ Waiting ¶

[coyotes howling]

¶ For you to come along ¶

¶ Oh babe ¶

¶ I've been hoping ¶

¶ For someone just like you ¶

¶ Knowing ¶

¶ Always knowing ¶

-¶ You were hoping for ¶ -[dog barking]

¶ Me too ¶

-¶ Waiting ¶ -[Walker choking]

¶ Is the hardest thing ¶

¶ That a man can do ¶

[dog barking]

[coyotes howling]

[dog whimpering]

[coyotes howling]

[sign squeaking]

[march playing]

[Walt] Attention citizens of Craft Town,

interested in cupcake design?

Love to scrapbook? Craft Town now offers classes...

-Can I go look around? -...to unleash your creativity.

Yeah, just stay close.

-Stay where I can hear you. -...for more information.

Nice.

Come on.

Hi. Hi, I'm calling from InvisiShield Home Security.

Hi. Hi, I'm calling from InvisiShield Home Security

and we're surveying people in your neighborhood

about a number of recent break-- Fuck!

Shit.

Break-outs, break-ins?

Break-ins.

Smile.

Hi, I'm calling from InvisiShield Home Security,

yes, so we're calling--

[Jaime's martial arts yell]

[yelling]

[wind blowing]

-[yelling] -[dog barking]

[suspenseful music]

Hey.

Come here.

Ah!

Come here.

[watch beeping]

Enough, you're going to ruin your appetite.

If I eat all my vegetables, can we get another dog?

No pets.

Why not?

Secret agent no-no,

you ever see James Bond with a hamster?

Hinky Pink's eating all his vegetables.

I want to go home.

We are home, babe.

[whirring]

Damn it!

Shit.

[suspenseful music]

I've lived in a 4,000 square foot house

with a pool, and a guest house.

Now, when they offer me anything smaller

I say, "No!"

[Judith] The last one was over 5,000 square feet,

right on the water with fabulous views.

[TV announcer] Today, more than 500,000 homes stand empty across the United States.

Developers are desperate to find qualified individuals

to decorate and maintain...

Shh.

Go back to bed, it's going to be a big surprise.

-Today, more than-- -Because I'm sick of living dirty, you understand?

I'm sick of living dirty, we have to get clean and safe.

Clean and safe, do you hear me, Jaime? Do you understand?

Yeah, we have to get clean, everything clean.

I'm so tired [indistinct].

You get that, you feel the difference?

Yeah, make it better.

Better double up on the red ones.

Red is the only color dogs can see.

I'm serious, the lithium's giving me the shakes again.

If I give you two, you'll be sleepy,

I'll give you half.

Jaime.

[wind blowing]

[mysterious music]

[suspenseful music]

[operator] Your call is important. All counselors are currently

assisting other patients. If this is a medical emergency,

please hang up and dial 911.

You are currently number four in queue.

[flags flapping]

[wind blowing]

[phone beeping]

[coyotes howling]

¶ I've been waiting ¶

¶ For someone to call my own ¶

¶ Waiting ¶

¶ I've been waiting ¶

¶ For you to come ¶

¶ Along ¶

¶ And waiting ¶

¶ Is the hardest thing ¶

-¶ A man can do ¶ -[dog barking]

¶ Waiting for you ¶

-¶ Waiting ¶ -[dog barking]

¶ For you to come ¶

¶ Along ¶

[doorbell ringing]

[Brenda sighing]

Is your mother home?

[knocking]

Mrs. Torres.

[sighing]

Hi, I tried to call, but it just went right to voicemail.

Oh, hm... [chuckling]

I-- I...

I haven't been feeling so well.

I think I accidentally turned my phone off.

Yeah, well, I came over here today because I called

the agency yesterday, you know, about the proof of income forms

and those agency yahoos, they never even saw your T-1112.

My husband has that stuff.

They've never seen a husband either.

Uh... Uh, I could call him.

-Okay. -Yeah, I'll call him

and then you two can work this out.

-Good. -Yeah, just give me a sec, let me just...

Sorry, [laughs nervously]

-Look-- -I'm fine, really.

I think that you need to think about

alternate arrangements.

No, please. Please, Brenda, no.

-This isn't a charity. -Then let me work for it!

No.

[sighing]

Okay, look, there's an open house in three weeks.

I need this place perfect and I need the T-1112, okay?

And here, here's your mail.

[Camila gagging]

[wind blowing]

[dog barking]

Boy!

Uh, come here!

Boy! Boy!

Here, take it.

[Walker whistling]

Boy?

[panting]

[blowing]

[Camila] Does that mean you hate it?

I was trying to whistle.

Well, in that case, we'll put your bed here.

For planning purposes, we can always move it later.

-I can pick any bed? -Mm-hmm.

You can rent any bed except a water bed.

Why not water beds?

Do you want to sleep with your floaties on?

I thought this might be cute for the kitchen.

Or maybe this, or this.

I found so much cute stuff, it's great.

Here, take a look!

Come on, find a picture.

Come on.

[clapping]

Here.

-What room is this for? -The garage.

[Camila laughing]

[march band music]

Real quick, fresh cilantro or happy camper?

[Walt] Attention citizens of Craft Town, the store is now closing.

Attention citizens of Craft Town, the store is now closing.

So soon, that can't be right.

It's funny, in all the bustle, I must've lost track of time.

Yeah, it's non-stop excitement in here.

[Camila] There's a whole aisle I didn't see right there.

[Dean] Something for tomorrow, right?

[Camila laughing] True.

Thanks, I'm so sorry, I forgot it was Sunday

and your hours are earlier.

No problem, no problem.

Uhm, I think you're unlocking and then re-locking.

-Thank you. -[beeping]

Oh, perfect.

You go all the way.

[beeping]

-Mom? -What now, baby?

Here, let me take your bag.

You go through.

-Now you. -Sure, sure, it's just a glitch.

[beeping]

What about her purse?

My purse?

By all means, please.

I think...

It's a glitch.

That's really sweet.

Thank you.

[man snoring]

Now I don't want you to think this is an all the time thing,

this junk food.

Can I have my chapstick?

As if this meal could get less healthy.

It's in my bag.

Jaime, look who's here.

[chuckling]

[crickets chirping]

[suspenseful music]

Scout?

[wind blowing]

Hey, Scout.

[distant yelling]

[crickets chirping]

[phone buzzing]

Hi, uhm, it's Camila, I'm calling from InvisiShield

Home Security.

How are you this morning?

Yeah, well, Jean, I'm calling this morning

because there's been--

[water running]

I'm calling this morning because,

because of the recent number of break-ins...

In...

Sorry...

uh, in-- in Yellow Springs.

Uh-huh.

See, Jean, I'm not calling to sell you anything,

it's your choice if your family is protected or not.

One second.

Jaime,

is that you?

It's a...

42-point inspection of your house and surrounding properties

by a certified security analyst.

Yeah, these are the top guys in the business.

Well you may not be interested, Ann,

but the thieves are very interested.

That's why we're offering you a free

42-point survey of your home and grounds.

Mm-hmm.

One second.

Mm-hmm.

-Mom! -You know what, Ann?

My supervisor just walked in the room,

can I call you back?

Thank you.

Are you going to take your pills?

You know what, I think I'm really getting the hang

of this, I mean I had seven positives out of 50 calls

and Marlon Feld says to only expect

a one out of 20 ratio.

Oh!

Look at this!

-Were you up at all last night? -No.

Are you going to take your pills?

[suspenseful music]

[Camila gagging]

Hey!

Hey!

[door opening]

Mom!

I saw the truck, did my bed--

[classical music]

[phone ringing]

Hello, Paula?

This is Camila from InvisiShield Home Security.

Yeah, I'm calling about the recent number of break-ins

around your home, around your neighborhood,

around your hometown.

-[phone ringing] -Brenda?

Hi.

How is everything?

No, I haven't forgotten about the open house

or the T-1112, don't you worry.

And wait until you see the place.

[hammering]

Yeah, it's been fun [chuckles]

getting everything into shape.

Great, okay.

See you then.

[Walt] Attention citizens of Craft Town,

it's time for our annual Christmas in July sale,

so please check out the half-price--

Here, babe?

Put your shades back on.

Do I have to wear them?

We're on a mission.

I hate this mission.

Only a few more things, okay?

For Heaven's sake, could you just ring me up, please?

All I've got is three little beads.

I can only run this so many times before the register flips its shit.

I got them from the bulk bin,

they're only 17 cents apiece.

And there was no minimum purchase

because I looked for the sign and I couldn't find one.

[Camila] You know what, I can write a check, is that okay?

Walt, can you come up and do an override, please?

Now, I've got a coupon,

but I can use the coupon later if you think this is--

Manager to register one.

Oh, are you the manager?

-Listen, all I want to do is-- -I tried running this four times and it didn't run once.

-And I've got the money-- -So if you want to do a check override--

-I don't even need a bag. -[Dean] We've gotta find the key.

I was supposed to be on break as of 20 minutes ago.

Walt?

Remember me?

Yes. I do.

Hey.

[dramatic music]

[Camila grunting]

[radio announcer] It is our estimate that 4%...

-I think it's broken! -...of the American people...

-What? -...own 85%...

-See, I'm trying! -...of the wealth of America.

-And that over 70-- -You want to try it?

-None-- -Agent Torres,

where's your courage?

[laughing]

Well then I guess I won't either.

Whoa...

[laughing]

I think it's a little dangerous!

[laughing]

Come on, babe, we're going as fast as we can!

[screaming]

[suspenseful music]

[phone beeping]

[phone ringing]

[Mrs. Fan] Hello?

I need a ride, come immediately.

[Mrs. Fan speaking foreign language]

Because my truck...

...is in the shop.

[suspenseful music]

[Brenda] Shut the door, you're letting out

the air conditioning!

[flies buzzing]

So, hey. [chuckling]

Oh, looks like a lot of people.

So how'd it go?

-Have you got that T-1112? -Yeah, right here.

Here you go.

[Brenda] Hmm.

Is everything okay?

Hmm.

-I'll just look at this later. -And the open house?

Was fine!

-[glass shattering] -I'm so sorry.

I-- I brought that in here because everybody was asking me

who was responsible for the decorations.

Like I told you, people like it personal.

-That's so sweet. -So tell me,

how hot is it out there, boiling?

[suspenseful music]

[wind blowing]

You say that you don't keep any valuables in the house,

but what about your family?

Is there anything more valuable than family?

[metallic creaking]

[marching band music]

[door dinging]

[Camila] Come on, honey.

-Camila Torres? -Who?

Come with me.

Will you please sit down?

Is this about that check?

Fucking Edgar, you know I don't--

He told me that there'd be money in that account.

Are you married?

No, I--

Well, you know what, I brought a new card

and if that's not acceptable then I'm happy to go--

[beeping]

Is that...

My alarm for the daily announcements.

For the announcements.

Jesus. [laughing]

Oh please, don't let me stop--

Don't let me stop your announcements.

[Walt clearing throat]

Attention citizens of Craft Town,

it's time for our annual Christmas in July sale

-so please check out... -[Jaime yelling]

...the half-price bins before you leave the store.

Shop now and save today at Craft Town.

Do you know Marlon Feld?

-The Power Sales Systems guy? -No.

Oh my god, he's got this, here, let me--

You have got to hear this.

So Marlon Feld says in order to sell more,

you've got to smile more, right? You've gotta hear this.

He says that the smile is the sweetest sound.

Smiles equal sales, okay?

So read that same announcement again,

but this time, smile.

Go ahead, smile.

What's the problem?

No, that's not it.

It's not?

[Jaime yelling]

[Walt groaning]

[Camila moaning]

Mom?

-[Walt grunting] -[Camila moaning]

[generator sputtering]

[wind blowing]

With all the thefts in your area?

Sue, please, the inspection is your only protection.

Sue, that just won't do.

[thump]

-What was that? -[door creaking]

Sue, did you hear that?

There!

Did you hear that?

What do you mean, no?

[suspenseful music]

[clattering]

[gas trickling]

[dog barking]

[Walker coughing]

No.

-No! -[clanging]

-[thump] -[dog barking]

-Fuck. -[dog barking]

[radio announcer] I thank the Lord for the Holy Ghost and fire.

I thank the Lord for good health before me!

-I believe... -[dog barking]

[watch beeping]

[mysterious music]

[distant soft crying]

[sighing]

[door opens and closes]

Mom!

Did you hear last night?

Uh, hear what?

The dog?

The-- No, no, no, no.

Didn't hear anything like that, no.

[suspenseful music]

Maybe you should go look for the dog.

Look, go look outside.

-Right now? -Sure!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, before it's too late.

[suspenseful music]

[wind blowing]

[men yelling in the distance]

[TV announcer] What if I told you, you could live

in the home of your dreams with no money down?

What if I told you you could live

in the home of your dreams with no money down,

no mortgage payment and no rent of any kind?

[Dwight] I've lived in a 4,000 square foot house with a pool and a guest house.

Now, when they offer me anything smaller

I say, "No!"

Why do you wear that?

This?

To keep you close.

When you're near, I can't do wrong.

When you're right here,

everything's all right.

[suspenseful music]

["We Wish You a Merry Christmas" playing]

[crunching]

[suspenseful music]

[beeping]

Mom?

I'm running away!

Did you hear me?

-[beeping] -You can't do this.

I won't let you!

I'm running away,

you can't stop me.

Okay?

[doorbell ringing]

Camila?

Camila!

I'm using my key!

Oh cripe.

-Why does it have to be this heat? -[thermostat beeping]

["Carol of the Bells" playing]

Camila?

Camila!

-Are you in there? -[knocking]

Camila!

[sighing]

Nothing checked out, none of it.

The-- the work history, the references.

Oh, my husband has that.

No record of him.

Just a lot of stories about you and

uh, your condition.

-Are you saying I did something wrong? -No.

No. [chuckling nervously]

If anyone is at fault here it seems to be the agency.

And I have been saying to those clowns for years

that they never did their due diligence.

They never did their background checks

so it was only a matter of time bef--

[sighing]

Camila.

Because we are terminating our contract with the agency

that means we are nullifying all of the subsidiary

staging contracts, including yours.

You need to clear out in two days.

But that's not necessary.

Camila, I'm sorry but you need to sign this, OK?

You don't understand.

The only contract that I'm going to sign

is a sales contract.

My husband and I are buying this house.

[scoffs] Camila. Please.

I don't know much about your condition, but I do know

that sometimes people feel things so intensely.

We're paying cash.

You know that, we're paying list and we're paying cash.

Please. Please just-- Please.

He's in his workshop in the garage.

Edgar!

Brenda's here about the house, honey!

I'm just going to go upstairs and clean up a little

and then we can sit and have a nice, serious talk.

Where's your little boy?

["Waltz of the Flowers" playing]

[door creaking]

[screaming]

[Jaime] Stop it!

Stop, I mean it!

[Brenda gasping]

Are you okay?

Little boy?

[Jaime] Stop it!

Stop, I mean it!

You need to say you're okay if you're okay.

["Waltz of the Flowers" continues]

[gun cocking]

Camila.

You need to listen, Camila.

You don't want to do anything--

[gunshot firing]

[gunshot firing]

-[thump] -[keys jingling]

[TV announcer] What if I told you, you could live

in the home of your dreams with no money down.

What if I told you you could live

in the home of your dreams with no money down.

What if I told you you could live...

[suspenseful music]

[dog barking]

[coyotes howling]

[wind blowing]

[thump]

-[beeping] -[Camila] Agent Torres!

You've been assigned a new mission,

report to the garage immediately.

You need to keep these two wires together,

you understand me?

Do not knock them apart!

I need the car to stay running.

I will turn it off, copy that?

Good, now, do your feet reach the pedals?

Okay, perfect. Now, show me where the gearshift is.

Jaime, show me the gearshift.

[radio announcer] America needs a tidal wave

of the old time rage.

America needs to be taken out to God's bath house

and the hose turned over us, the time is...

[tires squealing]

[truck clattering]

[radio murmuring]

[Camila] You stay there while I finish

-the disposal protocol. -What?

What if someone comes?

Handle yourself, Agent Torres.

[suspenseful music]

[radio murmuring]

[fire crackling]

¶ Joy to the world ¶

¶ The lord is come ¶

¶ Let Earth receive her king ¶

[doorknob rattling]

[suspenseful music]

You!

[martial arts yell]

[suspenseful music]

-[Jaime yelling] -[Camila gasping]

[thudding]

[gasping]

["Deck the Halls" playing]

[suspenseful music]

[soft crying]

[Dean] Management to register one.

Repeat, management to register one.

[crying]

[suspenseful music]

Are you okay?

You're hurt?

-[Camila] I'm not hurt. -Who was it?

[Camila] No one hurt me, I'm just getting ready

for the holiday open house, my husband, Edgar, came home.

[Walker whimpering]

Do you mind taking that?

I'm afraid I'm out of cash.

Thank you!

[Walker whimpering]

[suspenseful music]

Any more of this shit and I'm going to need a hazmat suit.

-What shit? -Last week was all like Christmas stuff

and now it's Halloween, that's commitment, man.

I should call the hospital.

You mean the police?

And soon, please, before she cuts my face off

and glues it in her scrap book.

Are you hearing me, Walt?

Uh, if she decides to come back and start the massacre early,

I'll be at Quiznos.

[Camila] Are you ready for your chill pills?

Did you come to have a pill fill with Daddy?

-[Walker moaning] -Edgar. We have enough for everyone.

Now drink up, just like you saw Daddy do.

It'll help Mommy get ready for the holiday open house.

You're going to look so pretty.

[Jaime coughing]

Now stick your tongue out.

[suspenseful music]

[Jaime vomiting]

[Jaime groaning]

[Camila] Don't open your presents yet, Edgar!

I'm watching you!

Wait for Jaime and I to come down, okay, honey?

[knocking]

[suspenseful music]

[song playing]

[Walker groaning]

Camila?

Camila?

Edgar, you, get back from there.

Camila, are you okay?

Can you hear me, Camila?

I have Edgar!

You, sit, there.

-No. -[groaning]

-Sit! -No!

-No! -Sit!

Sit down!

[Walker yelling]

[squelching]

[song playing]

[gunshots firing]

[Camila] Edgar!

Edgar?

[crying]

No, no!

You!

[crying]

[suspenseful music]

[whimpering]

[singing]

[dog barking]

Hi.

You must be hungry.

[sighing]

I don't have anything.

[Camila] When you're near, I can't do wrong.

When you're right here, everything's all right.

I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.

Mom!

Mommy!

Mommy!

[suspenseful music]

[Camila] Forever.

[TV hissing]

[dog barking]

[gasping]

[Jaime] Help!

Help!

Hello?

Anyone home?

[somber music]

[Music glitches]

[TV hissing]

[Silence]