All language subtitles for Keeping.Up.with.the.Kardashians.S17E08.Rumor.Has.It.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_ENG_Subtitles01

♪ ♪

>> KHLOE: I'll ask Kylie if
she's gonna go to a circle

jerk.
>> KYLIE: Hey, you're on

speakerphone.
>> KHLOE: So are you.

Um, do you want to go to a
circle jerk at 3:00 p.m.?

>> KYLIE: Yeah.
>> KHLOE: Okay. I'll see you

later, babe.
>> KYLIE: Okay, bye.

>> KHLOE: Bye.
(laughter)

>> KRIS: What is a circle jerk?
>> KHLOE: Guys sitting in a

circle, and they're...
>> KRIS: Stop.

>> SCOTT: At Burning Man, big
circle jerk.

>> KHLOE: ...all stroking their
dicks in a circle.

>> KRIS: Aren't the guys
embarrassed that are sitting in

the...?
>> SCOTT: No. You get with...

>> KHLOE: They're all
dick-measuring.

Are you kidding?
>> KRIS: What do you just say,

"Hey, do you want to circle-jerk
tonight?"

>> KHLOE: I'm, uh, calling
Kendall.

>> KRIS: Ask Kendall.
>> KHLOE: Yeah.

Hey, babe.
>> KENDALL: Hey, babe.

>> KHLOE: Um, do you want to go
to a circle jerk at 3:00 p.m.?

>> KENDALL: What's a proper
circle jerk?

Like, I know...
>> KHLOE: What's...?

>> KENDALL: I know what the
literal term is.

>> KHLOE: What's a literal term?
>> KENDALL: Like, everyone sits

in a circle and jerks each other
off.

>> SCOTT: Right. Well-- so...
>> KHLOE: Why would you not

think that's what I want you to
come to at 3:00 p.m.?

>> SCOTT: Right. What-what do
you have mistaken?

>> KRIS: Jerks each other off?
>> KENDALL: I really need to

know now.
>> KRIS: They jerk each other

off?
Or they jerk themselves off?

>> SCOTT: Kendall just said it.
She said you sit in a circle and

everyone jerks.
>> KENDALL: Is Mom a part of

this?
'Cause I think I'd feel a little

uncomfortable.
>> SCOTT: No, Mom's not a part

of it.
>> KHLOE: Mom's not coming to

the circle jerk.
>> SCOTT: She thinks it's a

restaurant.
>> KHLOE: Are you more

comfortable without her?
>> KENDALL: What circle jerk,

before I get home and wash all
my makeup off?

(laughter)
>> SCOTT: Like it's a big circle

jerk happening.
>> KHLOE: It's at 3:00 p.m. at

the community center.
(laughter)

>> KENDALL: What? No.
I'm not coming to Hidden Hills

for a 3:00 p.m. circle jerk.
>> KHLOE: We'll come to you.

(laughter)
♪ ♪

(birds chirping)
>> KIM: This charger's really

something else.
>> KOURTNEY: The what?

>> KIM: The charger.
>> KOURTNEY: Oh, just how...?

>> SCOTT: Oh, yeah. Right?
>> KIM: Yeah, it's funny.

>> KOURTNEY: I'm doing a summer
send-out, and I think, like,

to-- how I did my Poosh box
before, and I think we're

putting those with the people
that we're sending it to...

>> KIM: Oh, that's so cute.
>> KOURTNEY: So, like, photos.

>> KIM: That's such a good idea.
>> KOURTNEY: 'Cause it's-- our

theme is, like, travel, summer
travel, so, like, we're putting

a charger...
>> KIM: So cute. Yeah.

>> KOURTNEY: ...like,
everything's travel.

>> KIM: Yeah.
So, how funny is this?

Since we went to Costa Rica
before, North has not stopped

talking about it.
>> SCOTT: Right.

>> KIM: She, like, loved it.
And I didn't even think it was,

like, anything crazy.
>> SCOTT: Pretty private house.

>> KIM: Yeah, I mean, she just
keeps on-- she talks about it.

"Mom, when I'm big, I'm moving
to Costa Rica."

"Mom, Costa Rica."
>> KOURTNEY: I'm not, like,

dying to go back.
>> KIM: She just is dying to.

And so she really wants Kanye
to go, so...

>> KOURTNEY: Did he come the
first time, yeah?

>> KIM: No.
I have been a little bit busy,

but I want to plan this.
>> KOURTNEY: How many nights?

>> KIM: Three, four.
>> KOURTNEY: Oh, okay.

>> KIM: I think it can be really
challenging to figure out

work life and mom life,
especially mom life with four

kids.
Wait, I'm so sorry, my baby's

crying.
Hey, guys, it's Kim Kardashian

West, and we are on set of my...
North, get out of my...

But North has not stopped
talking about it, so I figured

for her birthday this year, I
would love to book a trip to

Costa Rica.
Oh, is this gonna be bad

memories, though, Costa Rica?
Remember last time, threw a

drink on you?
>> SCOTT: No.

>> KIM: Nothing?
>> SCOTT: No. My life's changed.

>> KIM: Okay.
Scott flew out a girl.

Yeah.
>> KHLOE: Stop.

If you need to get your dick wet
that badly, then get your

(bleep) dick wet.

♪ ♪

>> KRIS: Thank you so much.
>> GIUSEPPE: Absolutely.

>> KRIS: Thank you.
>> GIUSEPPE: How's everybody,

Kris?
>> KRIS: Good.

Kylie and I did this photo shoot
together and the pictures were

super cute.
For the cover of Vogue Arabia.

>> MJ: Oh, cute.
Ta-ta.

>> KRIS: Little Dolce & Gabbana.
Can you believe it's June 10

already?
>> MJ: Everything's going so

fast.
I can't believe it.

>> KRIS: I know.
June's always depressing,

though.
It always reminds me of the

anniversary of Nicole's death.
>> MJ: I know.

>> KRIS: And it's like, year
after year, it becomes, like, a

little more faded.
Nicole Brown Simpson was one of

my best friends, who I met
basically when I met Robert

Kardashian, back in the '70s.
They asked Faye and I to do an

interview and we said no.
First we said yes, we were gonna

do it.
>> MJ: Yeah.

>> KRIS: I think she wanted to
do it to support me and I wanted

to do it to support her.
And we were both like, "Why are

we doing this at all?"
I introduced Nicole to Faye

Resnick.
They became fast friends, and we

started hanging out together.

There were so many wonderful
traditions that we got to share

around the holidays and
traveling together, vacations.

But what I loved about her the
most was that she was such a

beautiful soul and had so much
love to give to her family, her

kids, her friends.
I can't believe that 25 years

has passed since her passing.
And it just feels like it's so

fresh.
I mean, the last thing we want

to do is keep talking about that
side of it again and what the...

Just what the public wants to
know, what they're interested in

is not the same thing as what
our-our memories are and where

our hearts are.
You know, that's just not-- we

don't want to bring up bad
energy.

It's sad that this is what she's
remembered for.

♪ ♪

>> KIM: Kimono is my shapewear
brand.

It's been at least a decade in
the making.

I love shapewear, I've been
making my own for so long, and

literally getting fabrics and
making my own with a seamstress.

So I'm so excited to launch this
brand.

Before I leave for Costa Rica, I
have a brainstorming meeting to

figure out how we're going to
market this and promote it.

>> EMMA: All right, so we're
about five weeks out, and so the

most important thing is today,
to get your sign-off from some

of the stuff that's happening.
We're a week away from shoot.

This is where you're actually
shooting the campaign.

>> TRACY: I know you are going
out of town.

>> KIM: Yeah.
We have shoots planned for this

launch, and unfortunately I'm
gonna be in Costa Rica.

So I'm not gonna be able to be
there.

I always oversee every creative
detail in my businesses, so I'm

getting a little nervous.
I think that a launch, it should

be funny commercials that we can
launch through social media.

Like a mock infomercial.
>> TRACY: That's your mom, all

day.
>> KIM: You know, that's why my

mom with all of her friends,
'cause that's, like, their era.

>> EMMA: It would be so good.
>> KIM: And then we could do

little funny snippets of my
sisters, just Instagram, like,

one-minute infomercials.
My mom used to be on them.

Like this.
(applause over video)

>> KRIS: Once in a very long
while, a truly remarkable

product comes our way that
challenges what we think and can

dramatically improve our lives.
Hello, I'm Kris Jenner.

>> KIM: My first styling job
ever was being Kris Jenner's

stylist and then an infomercial
stylist.

>> KRIS: In the next few
moments, you're gonna discover a

product that is so powerful, it
can enhance your life forever.

And I have it right here.
Wicks of Wisdom.

>> KIM: I just thought to
launch the brand with an

infomercial vibe of it being
super cheesy.

It would be so funny.
>> LINDA: Wicks of Wisdom are

like a prescription for your
soul.

>> KRIS: Like a prescription for
your soul.

>> KIM: Stuff like that.
Like Wicks of Wisdom, with the

huge butterfly, you just need in
your life.

Like, come on.
>> WOMAN: This vibe would be

funny, 'cause we need something
like, "Holy (bleep)," everyone

talking about it, you know?
>> KIM: And that's what

this would be.
>> EMMA: Yeah.

♪ ♪

>> KIM: Who won the game?
Was that tonight?

>> KENDALL: Well, Golden State
won, so they go on to the next

round.
>> KRIS: Wait, Golden State.

Is that Seattle?
Or is that San Francisco?

>> KENDALL: San Francisco.
(phone chimes)

>> KIM: Oh, my God, did you see
that article?

Hold on, it says "O.J. Simpson
once bragged about his hot tub

hookup with wife's best friend
Kris Jenner that led the momager

needing hospital treatment."
>> KRIS: What?

>> KIM: "Simpson reportedly
claimed the size of his manhood

sent Kris Jenner to the
hospital.

According to his former manager,
Simpson and Jenner hooked up in

a hot tub.
Norman Pardo quoted Simpson

saying that he '(bleep) that
bitch until I broke her.'"

Who is Norman...?
>> KRIS: Well, first of all,

never heard of this person.
And that never happened.

That (bleep) piece of (bleep).
It's really kind of pathetic

that when rumors get started,
the media gives it life and

breath.
And on the anniversary of

Nicole's death, it's so
tasteless and disgusting.

>> KIM: "Pardo made the affair
claim in his new documentary..."

Oh, of course.
>> KRIS: It's just lie after lie

after lie after lie, and there's
only so much that one human

being can take.

The three of us were asked to do
Kim a favor.

I don't know what the (bleep)
we're doing.

>> DIRECTOR: We are rolling.
>> KRIS: We're left to our own

devices.
I mean, if you're not here to

tell us what to do, we're gonna
do our thing.

>> KYLE: Our kids are gonna kill
us.

(laughter)
>> KRIS: I sued the Daily Mail

today.
>> MJ: Why?

>> SCOTT: For the O.J. stuff?
>> KRIS: Because they-- yeah.

You finally get so sick of it,
you just have to take action.

Enough is enough.

♪ ♪

>> KHLOE: You know, Mom, this
gingerbread house is from God

only knows when.
>> KRIS: I cannot emotionally,

physically, spiritually remove
it.

It means that Christmas is over.
>> KHLOE: Well...

>> KRIS: Well, I'm not facing
reality that Christmas is over.

>> KHLOE: So, what do I do?
Like, I feel like, I mean, I

have no idea what happens at
prom, but do I get a limo?

>> KRIS: You have to have a
limo.

>> KHLOE: Right?
>> KRIS: It's prom.

You have a limo, you have...
>> KHLOE: I feel like people

literally go in helicopters
these days.

>> KRIS: How old is he?
>> KHLOE: I don't (bleep) know.

>> KRIS: Can you get champagne?
>> KHLOE: No. Uh, prom is in

high school, Mom.
>> KRIS: Oh.

>> KHLOE: High school's under
21.

You're like 18.
>> KRIS: Okay, well, you're 34.

>> KHLOE: Stop rubbing it in.
Are you saying I can't go to

prom?
>> KRIS: No, you can go to prom,

but you can drink.

>> KHLOE: I've never been to
prom before, but I have always

wondered what prom is like.
And over the years, I've

developed a relationship with
Narbeh.

And Narbeh has been a Kardashian
supporter forever and ever.

He's Armenian, so we share that
connection.

One day, I think he DM'd me and
asked if I would go to prom with

him.
And I felt, you know, it was a

really special request and I've
never been to prom, so I felt, I

felt really lucky that I was
invited.

>> KRIS: So he should buy you a
corsage.

>> KHLOE: No, I think we got
these.

>> KRIS: And then you need to...
>> KHLOE: Yeah, I ordered these,

or I approved...
>> KRIS: ...get him a

boutonnière.
>> KHLOE: Okay. Got it.

>> KRIS: So, I'm so upset by
this whole article.

>> KHLOE: Saying you (bleep)
someone?

Do you know how many people lie
on their dicks all day long?

It's what losers do.
Who cares?

>> KRIS: You know, it's just,
it's (bleep), that man.

Just... after 25 years, you'd
think that it just wouldn't be a

thing.

I'm so over stupid rumors of
things that never happened.

I think it's just really wrong.
And you're almost forced to

address them.
>> KHLOE: Well, try to not let

it get you so upset.
And you focus on the good.

And you focus on what you want
to make this about.

But stop putting all your energy
into even fighting that battle,

and put your energy into
something positive and, you

know, having happy memories and
all of that.

Are you okay?
I hate when people cry.

♪ ♪

>> KHLOE: This is a big-ass
limo.

(grunts)
Okay, okay.

>> LIMO DRIVER: You all right?
>> KHLOE: It's just me!

(laughter)
>> LIMO DRIVER: You look

beautiful.
>> KHLOE: Oh, well, it's my

first prom.
Thank you.

(limo driver laughs)
I might be a little old, but...

>> LIMO DRIVER: I did about four
proms last week.

>> KHLOE: Last week?
>> LIMO DRIVER: Yeah.

>> KHLOE: This is my first one
ever, so...

I went to Marymount High School,
uh, all of ninth grade, and I

really struggled there.
I didn't get along with the

girls, it just wasn't my cup of
tea.

And I struggled in my
educational aspect as well.

It was difficult for me.
And I decided to forge my

parents' names and enroll myself
in a home school that was in

Calabasas.
We're only in Woodland Hills?

Oh, my God, I'm gonna fall
asleep.

In doing that, I did not have
the typical high school

experience and I didn't go to
prom.

Hey, Mom.
>> KRIS: Hi. You look gorgeous.

>> KHLOE: Hi. Going to prom.
>> KRIS: As your mother, with

motherly advice, have a little
drink before you get out of the

car.
>> KHLOE: I am, but I'm almost

done.
I don't have anything else.

I don't know what to do.
>> KRIS: We always have a

backup.
>> KHLOE: Love you.

>> KRIS: I love you, too.
Bye, baby.

Have fun.
>> KHLOE: Bye.

Sir, we're gonna stop and get a
bottle of champagne 'cause I'm

bored back here.
(limo driver laughs)

>> LIMO DRIVER: You, too, huh?
>> KHLOE: Yeah.

We're both bored.
This car ride is pretty brutal.

I don't know what to expect.
I really don't even know where

I'm going.
(sighs)

So I just have to have something
to take the edge off, I guess.

Yay.
>> PRODUCER: Then we just, um...

>> KHLOE: Thank you, guys.
More beverages, bitch.

How does this kid know he's not
being catfished?

♪ ♪

(Scott whoops)
>> KIM: Why don't we have a

teacher come here and teach you
guys how to do snorkeling, just

here in the pool?
To teach you how to work

everything?
Okay, Northie?

We are in Costa Rica, and North
is so excited.

We brought her best friend
Haidyn and her family.

Scott and Kourtney came.
I know. Not what you think.

>> SCOTT: Come here, my lion
cub.

>> KIM: Yeah, I would just call
them.

Okay, bye.
>> KOURTNEY: The kids really

want to go to the beach.
Do you want to go?

>> KIM: Right now?
>> KOURTNEY: I mean, we could go

in an hour.
>> KIM: Yeah, I just want to get

work upstairs.
I'm so excited to do all of the

things that North wants to do,
but first I have some work

things that I just have to take
care of.

Tell them that we will get an
attorney involved.

There's, like, so much that goes
into this.

Everyone needs you.
I'm just trying to have the

balance of working so hard and
taking the right amount of time

to enjoy with your family.
Mom guilt is so real.

>> KOURTNEY: Let's get this show
on the road.

♪ ♪

>> NARBEH: Hello, how are you?
Hello.

>> KHLOE: Hi.
>> NARBEH: Hey! How are...

>> KHLOE: How are you?
>> NARBEH: Good. How are you,

beautiful?
>> KHLOE: I'm good.

You look so nice.
>> BOTH: Mwah. Mwah.

>> NARBEH: Beautiful.
(speaks Armenian)

>> KHLOE: You look so nice.
>> NARBEH: Girl, you look so

pretty, too.
>> KHLOE: Oh, my God, thank you.

>> NARBEH: I, like, honestly
want to thank you.

You know, like, I dealt with a
lot in high school.

I had really bad anxiety and
depression.

My body image issues were
through the roof, and I was only

16.
>> KHLOE: Right. That sucks.

>> NARBEH: So I just started so
young.

Always been really big, though.

>> KHLOE: You know, I know high
school can be a really difficult

time, and for me it wasn't the
most enjoyable, it was

frustrating, and I also felt
like what the girls focused on

at school was just not my
priori-- we just all, very

different types of people.
And with all that being said, I

want to hopefully make someone
else's high school experience--

even if it's just for a day--
that much easier and that much

more enjoyable and memorable.
>> NARBEH: You really helped me.

I was just like, "She's helped
me through high school, so

she's, like, a symbol of
strength."

>> KHLOE: Aw, that's so awesome.
>> NARBEH: So I was like, "I

want to take my symbol of
strength to prom so we can be

strong together."
>> KHLOE: Yeah, we are strong

together.
>> NARBEH: Yeah.

>> KHLOE: Why is yours turning?
What the (bleep)?

>> NARBEH: Did we put all the
needles in it?

>> KHLOE: No.
Was I supposed to?

>> NARBEH: There's four.
>> KHLOE: Oh, my God, I put one.

>> NARBEH: Oh.
>> KHLOE: Oh!

Uh, you...
(Narbeh stammers)

>> NARBEH: Oh!
>> KHLOE: Is this a sign for our

night?
Here, I'll give you mine.

I think I'm drunk.
(both chuckle)

Hold on, I might have to have a
little more before I go.

(slurping)
Wait until you see what Kim has

planned for this shoot.
>> KYLIE: You're not at the

shoot?
>> KIM: No, I'm in Costa Rica.

It is killing me that I'm not
there.

♪ ♪
>> KHLOE: I can't wait to dance.

I don't think I'm dancing like
you guys dance.

I have no idea how you guys
dance.

Where do I vote?
>> WOMAN: Right here.

(cheering)

>> STUDENT: Narbeh, you're a
god!

>> KHLOE: After all the suspense
I am finally here at prom.

I'm gonna check this off my
bucket list.

Cannot wait to see what all the
hype is about.

How old are all you ladies?
>> STUDENT 2: Eighteen.

>> KHLOE: Oh, my God. Me, too.
>> NARBEH: Do you want to go

dance?
>> KHLOE: Sure.

♪ ♪

>> DJ: Make some noise for Khloe
Kardashian!

(cheering)
♪ ♪

>> KHLOE: With all of this
dancing and a couple cocktails

that I've had in the limo, I am
feeling pretty lit.

♪ ♪

I really wanted Narbeh to have a
phenomenal time.

I'm like, "(bleep), I hope I'm
not, like, ruining his prom."

How long do you guys stay here
for?

>> NARBEH: Till about 10:00.
>> KHLOE: I'm gonna leave soon.

You stay as long as you want.
I have a great memory of now

what prom is for me, but things
were just getting a little

fuzzy, so I got to go.

♪ ♪

>> SCOTT: You try to dive.
Not that high.

But you got to try to dive.
>> KIM: You can do it.

>> KOURTNEY: But what's the
point?

>> SCOTT: What's not the point?
>> MASON: It's 17 feet down.

>> SCOTT: You got 17 feet of
depth.

Just dive.
Do a nice dive.

>> PENELOPE: Mom, do it!
(overlapping chatter)

>> SCOTT: Yeah!
Oh, wow.

Belly flop!
(clapping)

Straight flop.
>> KOURTNEY (laughing): I know.

>> SCOTT: What happ...?
>> KOURTNEY: 'Cause I got

scared.
>> KIM: Today we're going on a

big boat trip.
North is so excited about this.

(North screams)
(others whooping)

At home, my sisters are all
shooting their Kimono commercial

today.
But I just want to enjoy this

time on the boat with the kids.
>> SCOTT: Yes.

Oh, there you go.

>> KIM: I'm gonna sit here,
okay?

(phone chiming)

(Khloe laughs)
>> KHLOE: I mean, I don't even

know what to say about that.
>> STYLIST: You don't want to

look like Krusty the Clown?
>> KHLOE: No.

Kim was laughing.
She's like, "Ha, ha, ha."

I'm like, "Oh, thanks."
>> STYLIST: You're like, "Okay,

enjoy your vacation."
>> KHLOE: Yeah.

Wait till Kylie gets here.
>> STYLIST: Oh, Kylie will shut

it down real quick.
"Hey, can you crimp your hair?"

She'll be like, "No."
>> KHLOE: I have no clue as to

what is going on here.
Guess what, crimped it is.

>> STYLIST: Crimp this dick.
>> KHLOE: Exactly.

Okay? Crimp this pubic hair.
Oh, my God, I hope Kim knows

what she's doing.
Hey, Koo-Koo Ky-Ky.

>> KYLIE: I love you so much.
>> KHLOE: I love you so much

more.
Oh, my little bugaboo.

(phone chimes)
Oh, God.

Kimberly.

(FaceTime ringing)
>> KIM: Oh, Kylie's calling me.

Want to say hi to Kylie?
(child chattering)

Hi.
>> KYLIE: You're not at the

shoot?
>> KIM: No, I'm in Costa Rica.

Today's shoot's you and Khloe.
I'm sorry that I'm not there.

I thought you knew.
It'll be amazing, though.

So much goes into these shoots,
and it's so hard for me to

disconnect because they need to
be perfect.

'Cause if I get home and I don't
like something, it's not like we

can reshoot it.
It's everyone's time and money,

and we have to get the content
that we need this day.

You know, I can tell everyone my
notes and say what I want, but

it's hard... if it's-- you know,
you're not there, really, to

direct.
Just trust me.

All right, bye, Ky. Good luck.
>> STYLIST: Okay.

>> KHLOE: We love Kimberly, but
she's (bleep) crazy.

(indistinct chatter)
(chime)

>> SINGER: ♪ Baby shark
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

♪ Baby shark
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. ♪

>> KHLOE: So, this is what Kim
wants: they have me dancing to

"Baby Shark," sucking on a
lollipop, and wearing Kimono.

What is going on here?
♪ ♪

(indistinct chatter)
>> STYLIST: It looks really good

on the monitor.
>> KHLOE: Good.

>> KYLIE: What do you want me to
do?

>> DIRECTOR: Yeah, talk to
yourself, like, about your

bodysuit.
Why you need the bodysuit or,

like, why you like shapewear or,
you know...

You don't have to say what it
really is, and then just-- then

you can just whisper it.
>> KYLIE: Shapewear.

>> KHLOE: How awkward.
First, "Baby Shark."

Then, now Kim has Kylie
whispering to herself.

It's insane.

Surprise!
>> KIM: Today we're going to

announce the name "Kimono."
I'm so excited.

♪ ♪
>> NEWSMAN: Kim Kardashian has

caused an uproar.
♪ ♪

♪ ♪

>> SCOTT: Hola.
>> KOURTNEY: Well, hello!

Hi!
>> KIM: It's our last night in

Costa Rica, and I have to put my
phone on silent or put my phone

away and just give my kids 100%
of my time.

>> SCOTT: I think we need a good
peak and pit, people.

>> REIGN: Can we pray?
>> KOURTNEY: Can we pray?

Yes, that would be so nice.
>> REIGN: I pray that we have

good dreams and... we have
butterflies in it and-and we

don't get any bad guys and we
just get superheroes.

Jesus, amen.
>> ALL: Amen!

♪ ♪
>> SCOTT: Oh.

>> KIM: See the dancing?
I'm so excited to be here with

my husband and my kids and
Kourtney.

And it's just good to kind of
unwind and not really worry

about what's going on at home.
(performers shouting)

(Scott mimicking shouting)
>> KIM: Northie, this is

traditional songs from Costa
Rica.

(Scott continues shouting)
>> KIM: Stop it. Stop it.

♪ ♪
>> SCOTT: It's like, uh...

What's the girl's name that
hangs out with-- Sia's dancer.

>> KIM: Yeah.
(Scott trills)

♪ ♪
(horn honking)

>> KYLE: Where do you want us to
go?

>> PRODUCER: Um, just right
here.

>> KYLE: Can you explain to me
what we're doing with this?

Just, like...
>> KRIS: The three of us were

asked to do Kim a favor, and we
all said yes.

>> PRODUCER: And now we're here.
>> KRIS: We don't know what the

(bleep) we're doing.
>> KYLE: This is for Instagram?

>> KRIS: Today my girlfriends,
Lisa Rinna and Kyle Richards,

and I are shooting an
infomercial for Kim's new

shapewear line.
But there's only one problem: we

can't get ahold of Kim.
(line ringing)

(call ends)
She's in Costa Rica, and we're

not exactly sure what we're
supposed to be doing.

They want us to adlib, which
we're fine with, but I just

really want some direction from
Kim, since this is her baby.

>> KYLE: I mean, we're just
gonna be winging this.

I have no idea what we're doing.
>> A.D.: Can we have rolling?

Three, two...
♪ ♪

>> KRIS: Welcome back, everyone,
to the Kimono Intimates Channel.

I'm joined today by my special
guests and wonderful friends

Lisa Rinna and Kyle Richards.
Hey, guys. I'm so happy you're

here with me today.
>> LISA: Hi, Kris.

Ah, we're so excited.
>> KRIS: Makes me so happy to

tell you about this new
shapewear line.

So let's take a look at Oram.
She's wearing the sculpting

bodysuit, which I actually
happen to have on, too, today,

which is such a great piece.
>> KYLE: I love the way it molds

to your body like that.
Looks so smooth.

>> KRIS: You're not gonna see
any rolls here, guys.

The only Rolls you're gonna see
is the one parked in my garage.

(Lisa chuffs)
(Kris laughing)

Okay.
>> KYLE: I'm actually wearing

this one that Kim designed,
because sh-- when you have a

slit-- See, there we go.
>> KRIS: Wow.

And then there's Lisa.
>> LISA: Then there's me.

I mean, you know, let's just
show it.

>> KRIS: Lisa! Lisa!
>> LISA: Look at this!

>> KRIS: That is fantastic!
>> KYLE: I mean, this is just...

>> LISA: I mean, look it.
I am...

(Kris laughs)
>> KYLE: Well, that's, um...

>> LISA: Wait, I might as well
come up here with you.

>> KRIS: Okay, Lisa!
This is without alcohol, which

is fantastic.
>> LISA: This is zero alcohol.

>> KRIS: Yeah.
We're left to our own devices.

Oh, my God.
So this is what she's gonna get.

I mean, if you're not here to
tell us what to do, we're gonna

do our thing.
This deal is amazing and won't

last forever.
>> KYLE: They're going as fast

as Lisa Rinna's dress fell off.
>> LISA: That's right.

And I hear there's only, like,
400 of the espresso left.

>> KRIS: That's right.
>> LISA: That's what they just

told me backstage.
Only 400.

>> KYLE: Our kids are gonna kill
us.

(laughter)
>> KRIS: Oh, my daughter's

(bleep) really gonna kill me.
(laughing)

(applause sound effect)
♪ ♪

>> SCOTT: It's like Kris was the
pioneer of making this

neighborhood what it was.
>> KRIS: Mm-hmm. 1996.

Nobody wanted to live here.
But now we put it on the map.

>> SCOTT: No one knew what it
was.

>> KRIS: Isn't that funny?
>> MJ: It is.

>> KRIS: I sued the Daily Mail
today.

>> SCOTT: Stop. Why?
>> KRIS: Gave 'em notice.

>> MJ: Why? Why?
>> SCOTT: For the O.J. stuff?

>> KRIS: Because they-- Yeah.
>> SCOTT: Can we tell MJ what

the story is?
>> KRIS: No.

>> MJ: Why? I can get on Daily
Mail.

>> KRIS: I don't care.
If you want to-- if you want to

tell her, Scott, you tell her.
>> SCOTT: The alleg...

(chuckles)
>> KRIS: The allegation.

>> SCOTT: The allegation is that
O.J. had relations with Kris so

hard that she had to go to the
hospital after.

>> KRIS: Wouldn't there be
hospital records?

(MJ chuckles)
>> SCOTT: But, like, that's so

disgusting.
>> KRIS: Come on.

>> MJ: That's disgusting.
They really want to ramp it up

a bit, don't they?
>> KRIS: Yeah. Then you have

people starting to say, "Oh,
Khloe's O.J.'s."

You know, that was stupid.
>> MJ: That was stupid.

>> KRIS: Enough is enough.
>> SCOTT: Yeah.

>> KRIS: So I just called my
attorneys and I said, "Take it

down or we're coming after you."
I think it's just really unfair

to Nicole's family, my family
for these stupid rumors to be

flying around out there.
It's always right there, under

the surface.
You know, it's a tough 15 months

for all of us.
And not only have we lost

Nicole-- we've lost O.J., too.
My team has decided to take

legal action, because, once and
for all, I have to do something

about it.

>> FAYE: The last time I was
here was with you and Nicole.

I know it's got to be just
intense for you, too.

There's nobody on the planet
that can understand this.

>> KRIS: I know. You can't
explain this to anybody.

To Nic.

♪ ♪
>> KRIS: Hello?

>> KIM: Hi.
>> KRIS: Hey. Welcome back.

>> KIM: Thank you.
>> KRIS: How was Costa Rica?

>> KIM: Good. We had so much
fun.

>> KRIS: Did you?
>> KIM: Yeah. We really, really

did.
>> KRIS: This is what I want,

Kim, all of this new shapewear.
>> KIM: Yes.

>> KRIS: This is so good, which
reminds me... you weren't even

at the shapewear shoot with my
girlfriends.

>> KIM: Oh, my God!
How was it?

>> KRIS: Mm-hmm. Yeah, thanks
for asking.

It was a hot mess for a minute.
Like, nobody was there.

You weren't there, Emma wasn't
there, Tracy wasn't there.

>> KIM: I heard, I heard.
>> KRIS: So I was kind of, like,

left to my own... you know...
>> KIM: Yeah.

>> KRIS: ...devices.
Which is fine. I get that you

wanted to get away.
But somebody's got to run the

show.
>> KIM: You know, it's really

hard to take a break.
And when I do, no one lets me

have a break.
Everyone's calling me from set.

And Kylie's trying to call me,
asking me about the shoot.

But this trip was planned for a
really long time, and there's

always gonna be a lot going on.
So, like, I'm just trying to,

like...
>> KRIS: Have a minute.

>> KIM: Yeah.
>> KRIS: I get it.

>> KIM: It's really difficult to
figure out work life and mom

life, especially mom life with
four kids.

But I'm at a point in my life
where this will be a constant

struggle and a challenge.
And I'm not gonna be able to

oversee every last creative
detail in my businesses.

So, at the end of the day, if
the kids had a good time, then

that's all that matters.
I don't know, I just-- when I'm

on vacation, it's like we're out
of the country, we're on a

different time zone.
>> KRIS: It's horrible.

Don't you think I'm scared to
death to go on vacation?

>> KIM: No, I don't think you're
scared to death to go on

vacation.
>> KRIS: I am.

>> KIM: Okay, well, now you're
pathologically lying.

>> KRIS: No, I'm really not.
>> KIM: Yep.

♪ ♪

(birds chirping)
(clinking)

>> PENELOPE: Onion! Disgusting!
>> SARA: Onion.

>> KOURTNEY: All right, P, step
one, put on a happy face.

We're cooking with love.
>> SARA: This is one onion.

I always...
>> KOURTNEY: Are we cooking in

this... orange thing?
>> SARA: Yes, you're gonna

use...
>> KOURTNEY: Is it on?

>> SARA: ...my avocado oil.
That's good.

>> KOURTNEY: We're getting this
party started, and we're really

cooking.
>> KHLOE: Hey, Chef P! Hey!

(overlapping chatter)
>> KOURTNEY: Delish.

>> MELISSA: Guys, what step is
it?

>> KOURTNEY: White corn.
>> KHLOE: Is Kourtney actually

cooking?
>> MELISSA: Yes.

>> KHLOE: Wow.
>> SARA: This is all your salad

ingredients.
>> MALIKA: Okay.

>> SARA: And we toss everything
in there.

>> MALIKA: Got it.
Oh, that's looks so pretty.

>> SARA: Pour half, and then you
need to mix it...

>> KOURTNEY: This year for my
birthday, I made a list of

things that I... just wanted to
do.

So I decided to take piano
lessons, and I decided to take

cooking.
Also, you know, with built-in

time to hang out with my
friends.

>> KHLOE: Everything looks so
nice, Kourt.

>> KOURTNEY: This is really a
bread plate, but...

>> KHLOE: Okay.
>> MALIKA: We're gonna use it as

a salad tray.
>> KOURTNEY: There is an extra

plate.
I guess this could be a dessert

plate.
We're having salad.

Do you want to come eat some?
>> MELISSA: Here, Mase.

I will scoot-- you can sit next
to KoKo. Here.

(Mason speaks indistinctly)
Do you want to... Okay.

Or you sit there.
Empty nest.

>> KOURTNEY: Mase...
>> MELISSA: He's wearing a robe.

>> KOURTNEY: You look like,
um...

>> MELISSA: Hugh Hefner.
(laughter)

>> KHLOE: It is wild.
You're your dad's child.

(Khloe chuckles)
Khadijah, what happened...?

Hi.
>> PRODUCTION ASSISTANT: These

were delivered to the office
from Narbeh.

>> KHLOE: Oh, my God, that's so
nice. Thank you.

>> PRODUCTION ASSISTANT: No
problem.

That's nice.
>> KOURTNEY: Thank you.

(indistinct chatter)
>> KHLOE: From my... my prom

date.
>> MALIKA: Is that his name--

Narbeh?
>> KOURTNEY: It's so cute.

>> KHLOE: I'm so relieved that
Narbeh sent me flowers.

I felt really guilty, 'cause I
was so nervous, and maybe I got

a little too tipsy, but it was
all in my head.

>> WOMAN: We are very proud of
you and your family.

As Armenians.
♪ ♪

>> NARBEH: You're my best
friend!

>> KHLOE: I feel good knowing
that he had a great time and his

prom wasn't ruined.
>> KOURTNEY: It's so cute.

Should we put 'em...?
Smell 'em.

>> MALIKA: That's so nice.
>> KHLOE: That's so nice.

He's so sweet.
>> MASON: Who?

>> KHLOE: My date.
>> KOURTNEY: KoKo went to

prom... with a...
>> MASON: I'm out.

>> KHLOE (laughs): Mason's mad.
>> KOURTNEY: How old was he,

Khlo?
>> KHLOE: He's in prom-- he's 17

or 18.
Mason, I'm not dating him.

It's just a boy.
It's a 17-year-old boy.

>> MALIKA: It was just a nice
thing that you did.

♪ ♪
(horn honking)

>> FAYE: I mean, what exactly do
you get in that bag?

>> KRIS: Nothing. Some lipstick.
>> FAYE: You are so

low-maintenance.
It is very difficult being here,

I have to tell you.
We had so many occasions here.

The... the last time-- I don't
know how long when you've been

here-- but the last time I was
here... was with you and Nicole.

>> KRIS: Stop. And we sat right
over there, and I could tell

you what she ordered.
She ordered the whitefish with

the spinach and the roasted
potatoes, and I think she had a

margarita.
>> FAYE: Unbelievable.

Your memory is crazy.
>> WAITER: It's our 30th

anniversary this week, and it's,
uh, that's the menu that was

designed 30 years ago, actually.
♪ ♪

>> FAYE: Wow.
>> KRIS: Wow, that's... that

just gave me chills.
Wait, that... so this would have

been the same menu we had.
Uh, like, okay, this is...

it's... I have goose bumps
everywhere.

>> FAYE: Whew! Huge.
>> KRIS: That makes me sad.

The fact that we're
looking at the same menus that

we all had when we were all
going there all those years ago

with Nicole, I feel like it was
just meant to be that this is

where we are to celebrate her
life.

I... wasn't gonna cry.
I think I've realized that I've

latched on to the legal side of
stuff rather than deal with the

emotional side of myself that
just... misses my girlfriend.

>> FAYE: Come June 1.
>> KRIS: Yeah.

>> FAYE: Starts on her birthday,
and then... and I just can't get

the image.
The pain is just intense, so...

and-and I'm trying to... to do
that.

I mean, every year you would
think it would get less.

It's worse this year.
>> KRIS: Well, because it's

brought up every time.
It's on every news channel.

It's in everything you read
and everything you listen to.

>> FAYE: I know it's got to be
just intense for you, too,

because everything revolved...
I mean, with Robert, the girls

and...
There's nobody on the planet

that can understand...
>> KRIS: I know. You can't

explain this to anybody.
There's a part of me that just

gets so angry that I... I mask
my emotion...

>> FAYE: I know you do. So well.
>> KRIS: ...of sadness, because

I can be angry.
♪ ♪

But I think that instead of
focusing on something so tragic,

I think we just need to have
these amazing memories that we

had with her and celebrate all
of that.

You know, it's hard to put into
words how much I miss somebody

that was such... a big part of
the fabric of my younger life.

Never underestimate what that
person that you don't have with

you anymore has meant to your
life and your soul.

>> CAITLYN: Hi, everybody.
Here we are, coming to you.

>> O.J.: We're so excited!
>> KRIS: Nic, say something.

>> NICOLE: Like what?
>> KRIS: I don't know.

I think he likes you!
♪ ♪

Oh, Nicole, this is so cute!

I think the way I want to focus
on Nicole's life in the future

is just to celebrate the
beautiful woman that she was.

To Nic.
To Toscana.

To the whitefish with the
spinach.

>> FAYE: To Nicole.
♪ ♪

>> NEWSWOMAN: Kim Kardashian has
been accused of appropriating

the Japanese culture.

♪ ♪

>> KIM: I'm so excited, you
guys, for all of the colors of

the shapewear.
All different nudes.

We have eight color nudes.
>> KHLOE: Surprise!

Look who's here to support you!
>> KIM: Hi, P!

>> KHLOE: We're all here.
>> KIM: Where's my hug, girls?

>> WOMAN: Nice of you to help,
Penelope.

>> MAN: Yeah...
>> KIM: Today is my final shoot

with my shapewear brand.
P, should I do a wig, long wig?

>> PENELOPE: Yeah.
>> KIM: Cool.

Now that we're back home, I just
have to focus on our full Kimono

campaign.
>> KHLOE: Say it with passion.

"You're gonna do great!"
>> PENELOPE: You're gonna do

great.
>> KIM: Later, we're going to

announce the name Kimono.
I'm so excited.

>> WOMAN: Keep going, so...
Yeah. And then up, and then put

your foot right up on your...
Yeah.

And then...
But I need to see the bottom of

her body as well.
>> MARIO: Okay, yoga.

>> WOMAN: That's the next shot.
♪ ♪

>> KHLOE: Mwah!
Oh, my... Hi, cutie!

Look how cute you look with that
hair.

>> KIM: I'm trying to be you.
>> KHLOE: I mean, you're

very cool.
>> KIM: I cut my hair.

>> KHLOE: No, you didn't.
You cut your real hair?

>> KIM: Yeah. Just to here.
>> KHLOE: Good for you. Yeah.

>> SCOTT: Kanye had, like, the
best night ever, I feel like, at

my house the other day.
>> KHLOE: Oh, he didn't leave?

I left.
>> SCOTT: He wouldn't leave.

He was chilling.
>> KHLOE: Oh, he was having the

b... he was just talking.
>> SCOTT: Kylie literally

didn't leave.
>> KHLOE: No, and then I... yes,

I am looking at social-- Kylie
is posing with pictures of P.

I'm like...
>> SCOTT: Dude, we literally

went in the hot tub-- me, Kyles
and P-- and she told Penelope,

she's like, "Listen, I've
always loved you, but honestly,

like... now's the time to really
start bonding with me."

>> KHLOE: At midnight in a hot
tub.

>> SCOTT: And Penelope is like,
"I love you. Why?"

And she's like...
"'Cause, trust me, Kylie

Cosmetics could be yours one
day."

And P looks at her and goes,
"Yeah, Poosh Cosmetics does have

a better ring."
So funny, but, like, the best

night ever, like, crazy, and it
was just cute, and then we all

went to bed.
>> KIM: Hold on. Jonathan had an

O.J. Simpson sighting.
He was eating at Prime 112, and

Miles...
>> KHLOE: The Juice.

>> KIM: ...goes, "Hey, O.J. is
in the private room over there.

He'd love to meet you."
>> SCOTT: Aw, dude, I-- that's

the type of (bleep)...
How does that even happen?

>> KHLOE: How does O.J. know who
he is?

>> KIM: So he goes, he goes, "I
know you're friends with the

girls."
He was like, "Please tell them

I said hi.
I'm so proud of them.

I see everything that's going
on."

And then he said, "Can I take a
picture?" and sent me-- and he

goes, "My whole group wants to
take a picture"-- he sent me all

the pictures.
Jonathan with O.J.

>> KHLOE: How crazy that...
Jonathan ran into O.J. and, I

mean, he's just, like, popping
up, like, left and right.

>> KRIS: I know.
And then that Twitter video.

I'm really happy that he set the
record straight.

Done and done.
>> KHLOE: So twisted.

(clears throat)
>> KIM: Do you guys want to see

the photo shoot Sushi did?
>> KHLOE: Oh, my God, stop.

>> KIM: Okay, guys.
>> SCOTT: That looks good.

>> KHLOE: Hold on, let me see
this.

>> SCOTT: Oh.
>> KHLOE: Kimberly, can I have

this? Come here.
>> KIM: I kept the outfit.

>> SCOTT: That's a joke.
>> KHLOE: I need to see this.

>> KIM: No, I kept the outfit.
>> KHLOE: What is happening?

>> SCOTT: I know, what?
>> KHLOE: Kimberly...

is that your real dog?
>> KIM: Yeah.

>> SCOTT: No, but they're blown
up compared to her size, so the

scale...
>> KIM: No.

>> SCOTT: The first one?
Looks like the dog is six feet

tall.
>> KIM: They held her.

(Scott laughing)
>> KHLOE: Wait.

It's not, like, a chow chow.
>> SCOTT: Yeah. Right.

>> KHLOE: It looks like a chow
chow.

That is amazing.
>> SCOTT: Uh-huh.

♪ ♪

>> NEWSMAN: Kim Kardashian has
caused an uproar...

>> NEWSWOMAN: Kim Kardashian has
been accused of appropriating

the Japanese culture.
>> NEWSMAN 2: She has been

accused of cultural
appropriation.

>> KHLOE: Next on Keeping Up
with the Kardashians...

>> KIM: They're saying that I'm
cultural-appropriating.

Foolishly and ignorantly, we
never thought that it would be a

problem.
I just saw the letter from the

mayor of Kyoto.
What are we going to do?

>> KOURTNEY: This party is gonna
be disgusting chemicals?

>> KIM: That's, like, what the
party is about-- Candy Land.

It's not (bleep) Gluten-Free
Land.

>> KOURTNEY: So, then, you do
your party, and I'll do my

party.
>> KIM: Perfect.

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