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1
00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:14,659
_
2
00:00:52,643 --> 00:00:54,277
Agh.
3
00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:02,102
Testing.
4
00:01:07,388 --> 00:01:11,179
Well, that seems pretty conclusive.
She can also hear us.
5
00:01:28,663 --> 00:01:33,380
Synced & corrected by
minouhse www.addic7ed.com
6
00:01:39,894 --> 00:01:41,263
Clear.
7
00:01:41,388 --> 00:01:44,165
This room gonna get some DIY.
8
00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:47,374
What is this impudence?
9
00:01:49,248 --> 00:01:51,957
This is my room, do you hear me?
My room.
10
00:01:52,083 --> 00:01:55,915
What sort of heathen just barges in
on a lady while she's sleeping?
11
00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:00,429
What on earth is going on?
12
00:02:01,046 --> 00:02:03,263
♪ Daddy gonna drill a hole in the wall... ♪
13
00:02:03,388 --> 00:02:05,263
Daddy is not drilling any holes in any...
14
00:02:08,105 --> 00:02:09,887
This is beyond the pale.
15
00:02:10,013 --> 00:02:11,397
No.
What are you do...?
16
00:02:15,951 --> 00:02:19,263
You have got to be joking.
17
00:02:19,388 --> 00:02:21,663
- Mike.
- Er...
18
00:02:22,269 --> 00:02:24,263
This looks fun.
19
00:02:24,388 --> 00:02:27,160
I'm going to call it the smile hole.
20
00:02:27,286 --> 00:02:30,646
- Hello, Lady Button. Morning.
- Mike.
21
00:02:30,772 --> 00:02:34,076
No, no, no. You can't just leave it like this.
Where are you going? You can't just...
22
00:02:34,201 --> 00:02:36,985
So, what's your favourite morning song?
I think mine is...
23
00:02:37,111 --> 00:02:41,265
♪ There's a lark in the bushel
at the corner of the... ♪
24
00:02:43,187 --> 00:02:45,529
- Mike.
- Er...
25
00:02:49,356 --> 00:02:50,664
- They're back.
- Who?
26
00:02:50,789 --> 00:02:52,388
Them.
27
00:02:53,656 --> 00:02:54,922
Er...
28
00:02:55,670 --> 00:02:59,365
Don't shriek, you ill-bred hen.
It is unseemly for a lady to...
29
00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:04,622
Him. Cover that up at once.
You beastly wretch.
30
00:03:04,748 --> 00:03:09,133
I refuse to be taunted in my own
home by that lying, cheating...
31
00:03:09,259 --> 00:03:11,304
Ex-husband.
You know how it is.
32
00:03:12,135 --> 00:03:14,664
- We're the same height.
- Do you need a tea?
33
00:03:14,789 --> 00:03:16,313
Lady coming through.
34
00:03:16,439 --> 00:03:17,843
What's your favourite colour?
35
00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:24,280
- I do wish they wouldn't do that.
- Aly.
36
00:03:24,406 --> 00:03:27,713
There's a cave one and there's an Army one
and there's one with no pants on...
37
00:03:27,838 --> 00:03:30,319
And a first from Cambridge.
38
00:03:30,445 --> 00:03:33,671
I know it may seem very real, but remember
what they said at the hospital, yeah?
39
00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:35,752
"May experience visual disturbances."
40
00:03:35,878 --> 00:03:37,125
But I can hear them too.
41
00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:40,402
And my Uncle Graeme, he thought he could smell
toast, but you know what? There was no toast.
42
00:03:40,528 --> 00:03:43,235
He was having a stroke.
He died, Mike.
43
00:03:43,361 --> 00:03:44,321
OK, bad example.
44
00:03:44,447 --> 00:03:46,783
I'm just saying, think about it,
what's more likely,
45
00:03:46,909 --> 00:03:50,316
that you can see ghosts, or that you're still
suffering from severe concussion?
46
00:03:50,441 --> 00:03:52,151
- Ghosts.
- Concussion.
47
00:03:52,976 --> 00:03:54,263
Exactly.
You don't just...
48
00:03:54,388 --> 00:03:56,237
Robin, you've been here a while.
49
00:03:56,363 --> 00:03:58,025
Have you ever seen
anything like this before?
50
00:03:58,133 --> 00:04:00,896
One time, yes.
But was a bear.
51
00:04:01,022 --> 00:04:03,916
Bear was like, "Raargh."
and I'm like, "Argh."
52
00:04:04,042 --> 00:04:08,023
and then he like, "Ooh, hurr, hurr."
And I'm like...
53
00:04:08,171 --> 00:04:10,177
"Woo."
And the bear's like...
54
00:04:18,052 --> 00:04:19,297
You had to be there.
55
00:04:19,423 --> 00:04:20,928
- Rare, then.
- Or magic?
56
00:04:21,054 --> 00:04:24,541
- Black magic.
- Perhaps she's just special.
57
00:04:24,667 --> 00:04:25,954
Indeed she is.
58
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,790
And you'll be back to
your old self in no time.
59
00:04:27,915 --> 00:04:29,849
- Just give it a few days, yeah?
- OK.
60
00:04:33,138 --> 00:04:34,338
OK?
Yep.
61
00:04:36,287 --> 00:04:38,634
So, Mike, what are you up to?
62
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,956
Well, I'm hooking up all the stuff
that we can't live without.
63
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,978
So like heating and hot water and...
64
00:04:43,103 --> 00:04:45,077
But the boiler's next on the list.
65
00:04:45,984 --> 00:04:47,486
After that.
66
00:04:47,619 --> 00:04:49,281
Are you sure you know what you're doing?
67
00:04:49,388 --> 00:04:51,905
No.
But Google does, so we're golden.
68
00:04:53,690 --> 00:04:56,353
That's quite the encyclopaedia.
69
00:04:56,479 --> 00:04:59,586
It's gotta be, what, two CD-ROMs, min.
70
00:04:59,712 --> 00:05:03,323
It's all under control here,
so why don't you go and relax?
71
00:05:03,449 --> 00:05:06,186
Have yourself a nice war...
tepid bath.
72
00:05:06,312 --> 00:05:08,199
I'd like that.
73
00:05:08,324 --> 00:05:10,070
One of them just said what I said.
74
00:05:10,196 --> 00:05:13,580
See? It's all in your head.
Just give it a few days, yeah?
75
00:05:13,706 --> 00:05:15,308
Now go on...
Bath.
76
00:05:20,707 --> 00:05:22,396
Clearly, this changes things.
77
00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:24,263
By some quirk of fate, it would seem
78
00:05:24,388 --> 00:05:27,017
- the new Lady Button...
- She's no lady, and no Button.
79
00:05:27,143 --> 00:05:30,508
Well, whoever she is,
she can now both see and hear us,
80
00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:32,538
which opens up
some intriguing possibilities...
81
00:05:32,663 --> 00:05:35,407
chiefly the potential
for a full-frontal assault.
82
00:05:35,533 --> 00:05:37,359
Order them to leave.
Face-to-face.
83
00:05:37,484 --> 00:05:38,723
Yes.
84
00:05:39,260 --> 00:05:44,643
Well, conversings with the dead be witchcraft.
People been burned at the stake for less.
85
00:05:44,769 --> 00:05:47,991
Except of course she isn't
truly conversing, is she?
86
00:05:48,117 --> 00:05:50,116
She may give ear to my overtures,
87
00:05:50,242 --> 00:05:53,150
but, alas, she is yet to respond
to any of us.
88
00:05:53,276 --> 00:05:54,878
- She spoke to me.
- What?
89
00:05:55,004 --> 00:05:56,911
- What? No, she did not.
- Did. Said...
90
00:05:58,561 --> 00:06:00,309
- I don't think that's a word, Robin.
- No.
91
00:06:00,434 --> 00:06:03,398
'Tis.
I had cousin, that's all he said.
92
00:06:03,524 --> 00:06:06,660
She's not conversing because Mr Sledgehammer
up there has convinced her
93
00:06:06,786 --> 00:06:08,982
we are just figments of her imagination,
94
00:06:09,108 --> 00:06:11,333
which is why we need a change of tactics.
95
00:06:11,459 --> 00:06:14,263
We work in shifts.
Campaign of attrition.
96
00:06:14,388 --> 00:06:15,434
Guerrilla war.
97
00:06:16,622 --> 00:06:18,050
Gorilla always win.
98
00:06:18,176 --> 00:06:20,782
Why is it always about war with you?
99
00:06:20,908 --> 00:06:24,654
- Well...
- What's wrong with a nice 'hello'?
100
00:06:24,780 --> 00:06:26,263
Maybe show them around.
101
00:06:26,388 --> 00:06:28,043
Then we could all sit down
and have a nice friendly chat
102
00:06:28,168 --> 00:06:30,784
- about this whole hotel business.
- It is nice to be friendly.
103
00:06:30,909 --> 00:06:33,851
- Ideally more than friendly.
- Befriended by you lot?
104
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:37,065
I can't think of anything more annoying.
In fact, you know what?
105
00:06:37,191 --> 00:06:39,402
Do that.
Yeah, good plan.
106
00:06:39,528 --> 00:06:43,470
That'll send them running.
Perhaps I should handle the negotiations.
107
00:06:44,995 --> 00:06:49,196
Well, I did, after all,
resolve the Arabian crisis of '91.
108
00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:52,648
- What, you stopped a war?
- No, I stopped a crisis.
109
00:06:53,018 --> 00:06:56,144
By starting a war, as it happens,
but, you know, that's not the point.
110
00:06:56,270 --> 00:06:59,221
The point is, I was lead envoy
in the negotiations.
111
00:06:59,347 --> 00:07:00,668
Utter toffee.
112
00:07:00,794 --> 00:07:03,427
You couldn't negotiate your way
out of a corn maze.
113
00:07:03,553 --> 00:07:06,403
How dare you.
114
00:07:06,529 --> 00:07:09,192
I'm a respected politician and diplomat,
115
00:07:09,318 --> 00:07:11,467
and I will not have my credentials
called into question
116
00:07:11,592 --> 00:07:14,320
by some work-shy Bohemian.
117
00:07:14,446 --> 00:07:16,796
That treaty was my legacy.
118
00:07:19,386 --> 00:07:21,735
Yeah, very, very funny.
Fine.
119
00:07:21,861 --> 00:07:23,940
I'll prove it to you.
Yeah.
120
00:07:24,066 --> 00:07:26,006
Ho-ho.
You'll see.
121
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,512
Imagine that slammed.
122
00:07:36,388 --> 00:07:40,888
♪ Daddy's gonna give it some DIY, DIY... ♪
123
00:07:44,262 --> 00:07:46,471
Right.
I'll show them.
124
00:08:01,624 --> 00:08:02,913
That's better.
125
00:08:03,039 --> 00:08:06,886
No, no, no, no, no, that's worse.
This is awful.
126
00:08:07,012 --> 00:08:08,941
I shall write to the owners.
127
00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:10,771
But where's my quill?
128
00:08:10,897 --> 00:08:14,358
Maybe I left it downstairs.
129
00:08:14,484 --> 00:08:15,833
Brick it up, you oaf.
130
00:08:15,959 --> 00:08:18,953
I refuse to spend eternity
in the company of a halfwit.
131
00:08:19,079 --> 00:08:21,107
- I thought we were friends.
- Friends
132
00:08:21,233 --> 00:08:23,502
are peers and intellectual equals, Kitty.
133
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,565
- We are neither.
- Fine.
134
00:08:25,730 --> 00:08:28,427
Then I'm not letting you go in my canoe.
135
00:08:28,943 --> 00:08:29,928
I just...
136
00:08:30,054 --> 00:08:31,645
Right, then.
137
00:08:31,934 --> 00:08:33,609
Old boiler.
138
00:08:40,388 --> 00:08:42,191
This'll learn those berks.
139
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:16,263
There's nothing to be scared of.
140
00:09:19,522 --> 00:09:23,728
♪ Daddy gonna fix the boiler now... ♪
141
00:09:26,388 --> 00:09:29,840
♪ YouTube gonna show Daddy how... ♪
142
00:09:42,723 --> 00:09:44,018
Come on.
143
00:09:48,784 --> 00:09:50,262
It's not playing ball, is it?
144
00:09:53,388 --> 00:09:55,664
- What's he doing?
- No, Daddy.
145
00:09:55,789 --> 00:09:59,913
No, you need to prime the inlet
pump, open the induction loop,
146
00:10:00,039 --> 00:10:03,263
repressurise the system,
then connect the gas feed,
147
00:10:03,388 --> 00:10:06,020
- and then ignite the...
- Or just hit it with a hammer.
148
00:10:06,389 --> 00:10:07,815
Unbelievable.
149
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,238
- Technophobe.
- Yeah.
150
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:13,061
Right. It's going to take a
sustained assault to grind her down,
151
00:10:13,187 --> 00:10:16,263
- so we'll take it in shifts.
- I'll go first. We have a connection.
152
00:10:16,388 --> 00:10:17,838
A frisson, if you will.
153
00:10:17,964 --> 00:10:20,124
Maybe I should go first.
Let her know the lay of the land.
154
00:10:20,249 --> 00:10:22,366
No.
This is a military campaign,
155
00:10:22,492 --> 00:10:25,603
and I'm not the sort to bring up the rear.
No, I'll go first.
156
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:27,732
And then you, Pat,
157
00:10:27,859 --> 00:10:29,263
and then Mary, and...
158
00:10:29,388 --> 00:10:31,448
Good heavens.
What on Earth is that?
159
00:10:31,574 --> 00:10:35,263
Now, that is the front bit
of a television.
160
00:10:35,388 --> 00:10:37,352
I don't know where the back bit is,
161
00:10:37,478 --> 00:10:39,813
- but that's the front.
- Extraordinary.
162
00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:42,463
- Any luck with the boiler?
- Nah, not really.
163
00:10:42,589 --> 00:10:46,263
It's in a pretty bad way. Looks like
some idiot has taken a hammer to it.
164
00:10:46,388 --> 00:10:48,149
I'll have a look at it tomorrow.
165
00:10:48,275 --> 00:10:52,056
Connect this one to the one from the roof
166
00:10:52,182 --> 00:10:53,733
and we should...
167
00:10:53,859 --> 00:10:55,669
get a picture.
168
00:10:56,557 --> 00:10:59,689
Right.
Over the top we go.
169
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,050
Now look here.
170
00:11:10,176 --> 00:11:13,264
As a officer of His Majesty's Armed Forces...
171
00:11:13,389 --> 00:11:16,674
it is my duty to inform you that
you are considered an enemy insurgent
172
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:20,531
and you should surrender your territories
to incumbent forces with immediate effect...
173
00:11:20,656 --> 00:11:22,913
or face the prospect...
OK.
174
00:11:23,039 --> 00:11:25,008
Very good.
I see what you're doing.
175
00:11:26,115 --> 00:11:27,383
Two can play at that game.
176
00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:41,783
♪ I am the very model of a modern
Major-General I've information vegeta...
177
00:11:45,197 --> 00:11:47,128
♪ ...ble, animal and mineral
178
00:11:47,254 --> 00:11:49,539
♪ I know the kings of England
and I quote the fights historical
179
00:11:49,664 --> 00:11:52,646
♪ From Marathon to Waterloo
in order categorical. ♪
180
00:11:53,056 --> 00:11:56,165
You can run, but you can't...
181
00:11:57,911 --> 00:11:59,473
Hello to you.
182
00:12:00,098 --> 00:12:02,263
Hello.
And welcome.
183
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:05,100
On behalf of me and my fellow
dead people, may I just say...
184
00:12:05,226 --> 00:12:08,718
Straight onto the tour, OK.
On your left is the Master's chamber,
185
00:12:08,844 --> 00:12:11,939
or "chambre", that's French.
Wait.
186
00:12:12,611 --> 00:12:14,578
You beautiful girl.
187
00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:27,077
_
188
00:12:27,302 --> 00:12:28,520
No.
189
00:12:28,646 --> 00:12:30,262
_
190
00:12:30,388 --> 00:12:33,003
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
191
00:12:33,221 --> 00:12:35,714
Up next, Hitler's Secret Superweapons.
192
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:39,159
Good Chr... I mean, it's
Christmas, it's Christmas morning.
193
00:12:39,752 --> 00:12:41,036
Alison?
194
00:12:42,388 --> 00:12:43,588
Aly?
195
00:12:45,224 --> 00:12:47,440
What the bally hell
do you think you're doing, sir?
196
00:12:47,565 --> 00:12:50,901
What have you done with the tanks?
You turn that back on this instant...
197
00:12:52,073 --> 00:12:53,264
Where are you going?
198
00:12:53,389 --> 00:12:56,263
If you were dead,
I would thrash your bottom, sir.
199
00:12:56,388 --> 00:12:58,531
And there's been a settlement
on this site for well over...
200
00:12:58,656 --> 00:13:01,590
- A while now, although this part...
- You're not real.
201
00:13:01,716 --> 00:13:03,951
- Well, we're not alive, but we are...
- I can't hear you.
202
00:13:04,076 --> 00:13:06,099
- Well, clearly you can, because...
- No, I can't.
203
00:13:06,224 --> 00:13:09,264
- Well, it's just, you keep answering me...
- No, I don't.
204
00:13:09,922 --> 00:13:13,080
- My turn?
- Sorry, Tom, Captain said that Mary's next.
205
00:13:13,206 --> 00:13:16,192
- Get out my way, you soppy bit o' rag.
- Good luck.
206
00:13:16,318 --> 00:13:18,117
Although she's not much of a one
for chitchat.
207
00:13:18,242 --> 00:13:22,657
Don't you worries about me.
I've got something up my sleeves.
208
00:13:24,764 --> 00:13:27,263
Get out, get out, get out, get out,
209
00:13:27,388 --> 00:13:29,893
get out, get out, get out, get out,
210
00:13:30,019 --> 00:13:31,386
get out, get out, get out...
211
00:13:38,158 --> 00:13:39,848
My....
212
00:13:40,819 --> 00:13:42,088
Classic.
213
00:13:43,388 --> 00:13:46,018
- Yes, to replace the boiler.
- So it needs amending. My entry.
214
00:13:46,143 --> 00:13:48,397
- To reflect my political achievements.
- What did you say, sorry?
215
00:13:48,522 --> 00:13:50,798
There's plenty who've done worse
than I did, believe you me.
216
00:13:50,923 --> 00:13:53,625
- My phone number...
- The MP for Watney got horses involved.
217
00:13:53,751 --> 00:13:55,397
- 0-7-9...
- Yeah, that's plural.
218
00:13:55,522 --> 00:13:58,263
- Horses. It was the shire ones as well.
- Sorry, 0-7...
219
00:13:58,396 --> 00:14:00,672
- You know, the ones with the flares?
- Can I call you back?
220
00:14:00,797 --> 00:14:03,851
A lady employs a knife AND fork.
221
00:14:03,992 --> 00:14:07,285
A lady pinches.
Whores use rouge.
222
00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:10,496
A lady does not hold a carrot like that.
223
00:14:12,125 --> 00:14:15,763
A lady wouldn't tell me to do that to myself.
224
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:18,263
Get out, get out, get out, get out,
225
00:14:18,388 --> 00:14:19,913
get out, get out, get out, get out,
226
00:14:20,038 --> 00:14:22,263
get out, get out, get out, get out,
227
00:14:22,388 --> 00:14:24,473
- get out, get out, get out...
- No better?
228
00:14:24,599 --> 00:14:26,617
get out, get out, get out, get out...
229
00:14:26,743 --> 00:14:29,025
Just give it till morning.
I'm sure it'll pass.
230
00:14:29,151 --> 00:14:32,654
get out, get out, get out, get out.
231
00:14:45,388 --> 00:14:47,435
♪ am the very model of
a modern Major-General
232
00:14:47,561 --> 00:14:50,263
♪ I've information vegetable
animal and mineral
233
00:14:50,388 --> 00:14:53,263
♪ I know the kings of England
and I quote the fights historical
234
00:14:53,388 --> 00:14:57,263
♪ From Marathon to Waterloo
in order categorical. ♪
235
00:15:08,578 --> 00:15:10,177
God.
236
00:15:19,031 --> 00:15:21,029
I don't even feel the cold.
237
00:15:22,693 --> 00:15:25,107
- I am a strong, sane woman.
- He'd crafted it from a rubber glove
238
00:15:25,232 --> 00:15:28,264
- and was using the gravy as lubricant.
- Challenges only make me stronger.
239
00:15:28,389 --> 00:15:30,862
And you can imagine the jokes
about "the Chancellor's red box".
240
00:15:30,987 --> 00:15:33,554
And then there was this Liberal fellow,
well, you can imagine what he got up to.
241
00:15:33,679 --> 00:15:37,493
He was caught in a sailors' sauna, and
he was not there to learn about boats.
242
00:15:38,388 --> 00:15:40,137
Get out, get out, get out, get out.
243
00:15:40,263 --> 00:15:41,629
Get out.
244
00:15:51,039 --> 00:15:52,276
Alone at last.
245
00:15:56,388 --> 00:15:57,682
- Alison.
- God.
246
00:15:57,808 --> 00:16:00,304
- A moment, please, I beg of you.
- You're in my head.
247
00:16:00,841 --> 00:16:02,906
And you in mine, my sweet.
248
00:16:03,032 --> 00:16:04,331
What are we doing?
249
00:16:04,457 --> 00:16:07,263
You're married, I'm dead.
It can never work.
250
00:16:07,388 --> 00:16:09,056
Can it?
Maybe it can.
251
00:16:09,182 --> 00:16:12,827
Like Romeo And Juliet, but specifically
the bit where he's already dead
252
00:16:12,953 --> 00:16:15,263
and she kills herself to be with him?
253
00:16:16,389 --> 00:16:20,889
I am too bold. Forgive me.
Accurse my impetuous loins.
254
00:16:21,256 --> 00:16:24,607
You're not yet free of that
buffle-headed bobtail.
255
00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:27,263
I'll wait for you, my comely nug.
256
00:16:27,388 --> 00:16:29,912
Though some idea of timescale would be...
257
00:16:30,038 --> 00:16:33,339
No, I understand,
this is all happening so fast.
258
00:16:33,465 --> 00:16:35,171
I can wait.
259
00:16:37,210 --> 00:16:39,263
Lord knows I've had the practice.
260
00:16:40,034 --> 00:16:42,147
- Come on, man.
- I'm trying.
261
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,397
Well, try harder, man.
262
00:16:45,522 --> 00:16:48,561
You. I demand you reactivate this
device with immediate effect.
263
00:16:48,687 --> 00:16:50,952
- Any joy with the people from Goggle?
- Me again.
264
00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:54,068
Today I thought we could do halls
and common passageways.
265
00:16:54,194 --> 00:16:56,397
Get out, get out, get out, get out,
266
00:16:56,522 --> 00:16:58,263
Darling. There you are.
267
00:16:58,388 --> 00:17:00,798
- Now, I know I said no pressure, but...
- None of it is real.
268
00:17:00,923 --> 00:17:02,263
None of it is real.
269
00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:04,114
A lady doesn't mumble.
270
00:17:06,389 --> 00:17:09,263
Don't suppose you've seen a body anywhere?
271
00:17:09,388 --> 00:17:10,588
Is that a no?
272
00:17:21,530 --> 00:17:23,433
Will you be my friend?
273
00:17:34,652 --> 00:17:36,579
Do you think it's something we said?
274
00:17:37,737 --> 00:17:41,038
- And press the hilt of the venturi...
- What is a venturi?
275
00:17:41,164 --> 00:17:44,061
- into the domed brass union.
- What's a union?
276
00:17:46,808 --> 00:17:50,464
Don't panic.
It takes maybe ten, 20 seconds.
277
00:17:50,590 --> 00:17:52,072
That's good.
278
00:17:52,223 --> 00:17:54,360
That's bad.
279
00:17:54,486 --> 00:17:57,123
- Mike.
- Jesus, you scared me.
280
00:17:57,249 --> 00:18:00,523
It's no good, I need to go and get some...
Holy Mary Mother of God.
281
00:18:02,011 --> 00:18:03,532
- My God.
- What's wrong?
282
00:18:03,658 --> 00:18:06,263
"What's wrong"?
The room is full of zombies.
283
00:18:06,388 --> 00:18:08,092
Donkeys?
284
00:18:08,218 --> 00:18:09,664
Honey, I promise you it isn't.
285
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:11,531
Then I have to go back to the
hospital and get some drugs
286
00:18:11,656 --> 00:18:13,554
or some therapy or a bang on the
other side of my head,
287
00:18:13,679 --> 00:18:15,263
or whatever it takes to stop me from
seeing the cast of
288
00:18:15,388 --> 00:18:17,263
The Night Of The Dead every single
time I walk into a room.
289
00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:19,912
It's Night Of The Living De...
Not now.
290
00:18:20,038 --> 00:18:21,847
I can't go on like this, OK?
291
00:18:21,973 --> 00:18:24,798
So you either drive me to the
hospital right now, or I drive myself.
292
00:18:24,923 --> 00:18:26,264
And I see things that aren't there.
293
00:18:26,389 --> 00:18:28,646
Well, we are.
I'll get my keys.
294
00:18:30,311 --> 00:18:31,595
Red lever.
295
00:18:33,388 --> 00:18:36,198
- Red lever.
- Red lever.
296
00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:37,798
- Red lever.
- Red lever.
297
00:18:40,816 --> 00:18:42,263
What now?
Aly?
298
00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:43,679
What's wrong?
299
00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:46,501
Red lever.
300
00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:47,839
Red lever?
301
00:18:49,389 --> 00:18:50,771
On it.
302
00:18:57,872 --> 00:18:59,747
What?
303
00:19:07,557 --> 00:19:09,766
- How did you know about the red...?
- Maybe we should go.
304
00:19:09,891 --> 00:19:11,264
Yeah, yeah, we're going.
305
00:19:11,389 --> 00:19:13,263
No, no, no, I mean away from here.
306
00:19:13,388 --> 00:19:15,162
Just move out.
It just doesn't feel right.
307
00:19:15,287 --> 00:19:16,962
What?
Why would you say that?
308
00:19:19,388 --> 00:19:20,605
It's hard to put my finger on.
309
00:19:20,730 --> 00:19:23,952
All right. Just one thing at a time, yeah?
We'll talk about this later.
310
00:19:24,592 --> 00:19:25,825
Electric windows.
311
00:19:25,951 --> 00:19:27,826
Get out of here.
312
00:19:41,255 --> 00:19:42,480
I say.
313
00:19:43,190 --> 00:19:44,390
Well, fascinating.
314
00:19:44,590 --> 00:19:47,709
But you don't see them now, do you?
315
00:19:47,835 --> 00:19:49,710
Not since we left the house.
316
00:19:50,086 --> 00:19:52,151
Maybe I'm on the mend.
317
00:19:52,277 --> 00:19:54,014
Yes, I know how loans work.
318
00:19:54,140 --> 00:19:55,664
- Sort of.
- As I've said before, sir...
319
00:19:55,789 --> 00:19:57,913
But surely if we just give you
the money back, then...
320
00:19:58,038 --> 00:20:00,410
- we cannot end the agreement now.
- Yes.
321
00:20:00,536 --> 00:20:02,200
- Do you see?
- Yes, I see.
322
00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:05,204
- Do you think it was related to the accident?
- Yes, undoubtedly.
323
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:06,438
Good.
324
00:20:06,564 --> 00:20:10,264
So it should just stop happening, as I heal?
325
00:20:10,389 --> 00:20:13,725
Well, my diagnosis,
based on what you've told me,
326
00:20:13,851 --> 00:20:17,045
is that your accident left you
so close to death yourself,
327
00:20:17,171 --> 00:20:19,454
you're now able to see dead people.
328
00:20:19,689 --> 00:20:22,650
- What do you mean?
- Well, can you see me?
329
00:20:22,776 --> 00:20:24,397
- Yes.
- Exactly.
330
00:20:24,522 --> 00:20:26,317
I'm dead.
331
00:20:26,443 --> 00:20:28,442
So sorry to have kept you.
332
00:20:29,490 --> 00:20:31,489
She's very good.
333
00:20:33,709 --> 00:20:34,997
What can I do for you?
334
00:20:35,123 --> 00:20:38,263
- All right, listen to what I'm...
- Wait.
335
00:20:38,388 --> 00:20:40,160
The doctor's dead.
336
00:20:42,388 --> 00:20:43,752
I just...
337
00:20:44,621 --> 00:20:47,263
I don't understand. If it's come
back, why not accept the sedatives?
338
00:20:47,388 --> 00:20:49,714
- I mean, they might help with...
- Because...
339
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,993
back at the house
I see the same faces every day.
340
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:55,932
But at the hospital,
completely different ones.
341
00:20:56,058 --> 00:20:58,263
Different places, different faces.
342
00:20:58,388 --> 00:21:00,766
- Why would my brain do that?
- OK, that is...
343
00:21:00,892 --> 00:21:04,006
It wouldn't.
Because they're not in here.
344
00:21:04,294 --> 00:21:05,494
They're out there.
345
00:21:26,095 --> 00:21:28,741
Right, we're selling up.
We'll buy a little new-build.
346
00:21:28,867 --> 00:21:32,115
One of those soulless little boxes
that I've always hated.
347
00:21:32,388 --> 00:21:36,866
One bed's fine. Just somewhere with
absolutely no past whatsoever.
348
00:21:37,580 --> 00:21:39,263
Right.
Yeah.
349
00:21:39,388 --> 00:21:40,698
It's just...
350
00:21:40,923 --> 00:21:42,949
OK, well...
351
00:21:43,291 --> 00:21:44,745
- I don't want you to get mad.
- Am I going to get mad?
352
00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:49,120
Yes. I spoke to the loan people and,
with the prepayment penalties and...
353
00:21:50,015 --> 00:21:53,263
Well, long story short, getting out now
354
00:21:53,388 --> 00:21:54,987
would probably bankrupt us.
355
00:21:55,113 --> 00:21:58,208
And I only added "probably"
to make it sound better.
356
00:21:58,388 --> 00:21:59,879
Didn't you read the contracts?
357
00:22:00,005 --> 00:22:01,787
I gave them what I'd call a lengthy skim.
358
00:22:01,913 --> 00:22:04,520
Mike, I could kill you.
359
00:22:04,646 --> 00:22:06,263
Ooh.
Good idea.
360
00:22:06,389 --> 00:22:08,435
Though maybe not here,
just because he might...
361
00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:13,140
Right.
362
00:22:13,997 --> 00:22:16,139
Well, there's only one thing for it,
isn't there?
363
00:22:19,138 --> 00:22:21,162
Fine.
I see you. OK?
364
00:22:21,288 --> 00:22:23,065
I see Major-General Can't-Sing,
365
00:22:23,190 --> 00:22:25,181
I see Captain Cave-Prick, I see all of you.
366
00:22:25,307 --> 00:22:28,264
OK? You win.
Mission accomplished.
367
00:22:28,389 --> 00:22:32,012
I admit your existence.
Now what the hell do you want?
368
00:22:32,138 --> 00:22:34,995
- We want you out of this house.
- Yes, you do not belong here.
369
00:22:35,159 --> 00:22:36,476
Well, that's tough, isn't it?
370
00:22:36,602 --> 00:22:40,264
Because thanks to my resident
mortgage advisor, we're stuck here.
371
00:22:40,389 --> 00:22:43,508
- OK, you're officially freaking me out.
- So how about you leave?
372
00:22:43,634 --> 00:22:46,659
- We can't leave.
- You sort of just stays where you dies.
373
00:22:46,785 --> 00:22:48,836
And how you dies...
Died.
374
00:22:48,962 --> 00:22:50,462
It's your classic haunted house.
375
00:22:50,588 --> 00:22:52,861
- Er, Alison...
- Whoa. Right.
376
00:22:53,010 --> 00:22:55,468
So I can't go and you can't go.
So...
377
00:22:55,921 --> 00:23:00,104
what will it take to get you all
just out of my face?
378
00:23:00,822 --> 00:23:02,804
What do you want?
What do you actually want?
379
00:23:02,930 --> 00:23:04,463
Specifically.
You?
380
00:23:05,804 --> 00:23:07,930
Right.
I'll tell you what we want.
381
00:23:08,056 --> 00:23:09,852
We demand that...
382
00:23:11,186 --> 00:23:12,966
One hour a week of the thing about tanks
383
00:23:13,092 --> 00:23:15,032
and anything on superweapons, please?
Thank you.
384
00:23:15,157 --> 00:23:17,271
- Done. Next.
- It feels like I should call someone?
385
00:23:17,388 --> 00:23:20,056
Who you gonna call?
You, Sourpuss.
386
00:23:20,182 --> 00:23:23,928
Remove my husband's portrait,
and fill the hole in my wall.
387
00:23:24,054 --> 00:23:26,872
- Done. You?
- Divorce him, kill yourself, marry me.
388
00:23:26,998 --> 00:23:28,149
- No.
- To which bit?
389
00:23:28,275 --> 00:23:30,628
- You?
- I just wanted to say hello..
390
00:23:30,784 --> 00:23:32,308
- Hello.
- Hello.
391
00:23:32,434 --> 00:23:35,263
And on behalf of myself
and my fellow ghosts...
392
00:23:35,388 --> 00:23:38,263
Listen.
I want those slanderous beggars at Goggle
393
00:23:38,388 --> 00:23:41,263
to amend my entry for the next edition.
I am a respectable...
394
00:23:41,388 --> 00:23:43,264
It doesn't work like that, it's the internet.
395
00:23:43,389 --> 00:23:45,397
Right.
And where are they based?
396
00:23:45,522 --> 00:23:49,149
It's everywhere. In every house in
the country, in the world.
397
00:23:49,275 --> 00:23:53,263
You mean every person on the planet
just thinks of me as the weirdo MP
398
00:23:53,388 --> 00:23:55,263
who died in some sex scandal?
399
00:23:55,388 --> 00:23:57,962
- That was you?
- What? No.
400
00:23:58,388 --> 00:24:01,174
I don't want anything, actually.
Who's next?
401
00:24:01,300 --> 00:24:03,559
Renounce Satan, witch.
402
00:24:03,685 --> 00:24:05,394
Um... OK.
403
00:24:05,637 --> 00:24:08,263
Yeah, yeah, that's probably done it.
404
00:24:08,632 --> 00:24:11,952
And what about you, Budget Tarzan?
405
00:24:12,078 --> 00:24:13,264
What do you want?
406
00:24:13,389 --> 00:24:15,466
- Nuffin', thanks.
- Nothing?
407
00:24:16,513 --> 00:24:18,152
So you just spent...
408
00:24:18,862 --> 00:24:20,834
So you just spent the last three days
409
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:25,037
hiding in every little tiny little
dark corner in this entire house,
410
00:24:25,163 --> 00:24:27,745
scaring me out of my mind,
411
00:24:27,871 --> 00:24:29,316
for no reason?
412
00:24:29,808 --> 00:24:31,263
Well, it was something to do.
413
00:24:31,388 --> 00:24:33,175
My turn.
I think we've got a lot in common.
414
00:24:33,300 --> 00:24:35,263
OK, so I've just googled "psychotic break"
415
00:24:35,388 --> 00:24:38,057
and I'm not saying that this is one,
but there is an article
416
00:24:38,183 --> 00:24:39,262
that I think you should have a...
417
00:24:39,388 --> 00:24:41,137
Mike, this isn't...
Can you just come with me?
418
00:24:41,262 --> 00:24:42,902
All of you.
419
00:24:43,028 --> 00:24:45,879
- Where are you going?
- To shut you all up.
420
00:24:46,005 --> 00:24:48,696
Horsey to go dooka-dakka-deeko.
421
00:24:49,231 --> 00:24:50,896
Dooka-dakka-deeko.
422
00:24:52,007 --> 00:24:53,387
OK, you go.
423
00:24:53,513 --> 00:24:55,531
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
424
00:24:55,656 --> 00:24:57,303
Even more softly.
425
00:24:58,923 --> 00:25:00,263
When's our sleepover again?
426
00:25:00,388 --> 00:25:02,121
- Eighth of March.
- And what is it now?
427
00:25:02,246 --> 00:25:04,514
- June.
- So exciting.
428
00:25:06,043 --> 00:25:07,383
How long's this on for?
429
00:25:07,509 --> 00:25:09,497
I need to contact this Vicky Pedia.
430
00:25:16,778 --> 00:25:18,313
Er, well played.
431
00:25:18,439 --> 00:25:21,887
Perhaps there is some Button blood
in those veins after all.
432
00:25:22,388 --> 00:25:23,264
Yeah.
433
00:25:23,389 --> 00:25:26,263
Well, I'm not sure I buy all this,
but I've moved the painting.
434
00:25:26,388 --> 00:25:27,397
And bricked up the hole?
435
00:25:27,522 --> 00:25:30,159
Yeah, I filled the hole.
436
00:25:34,265 --> 00:25:36,347
This will not stand.
437
00:25:38,056 --> 00:25:39,699
Well, you seem happier.
438
00:25:40,449 --> 00:25:43,103
The good news is I'm not mad.
439
00:25:43,229 --> 00:25:45,396
That's a relief.
What's the bad news?
440
00:25:50,723 --> 00:25:52,016
They are.
441
00:26:07,255 --> 00:26:10,569
- Alison.
- Turn the right-hand dial horizontal.
442
00:26:12,389 --> 00:26:14,388
And press the ignition.
443
00:26:17,270 --> 00:26:18,470
OK.
444
00:26:19,656 --> 00:26:22,263
I believe you.
And, er...
445
00:26:22,958 --> 00:26:25,180
- thank you?
- They say you're welcome.
446
00:26:25,306 --> 00:26:28,301
"They"?
You mean there's two of them?
447
00:26:32,286 --> 00:26:33,486
Yes.
448
00:26:33,612 --> 00:26:38,212
Synced & corrected by minouhse
www.addic7ed.com
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