Original subtitles

Previously onBob Hearts Abishola...

So, what's going on?

You need to know another man is courting my niece.

Really?

But I am still on Team Bob.

Have a lovely day.

Good Lord, that is a beautiful man.

You and this guy

have a lot more in common than you and I ever will.

And you probably

should go for it.

I should go for it?

Yeah. I mean, if it makes you happy.

So you just throw in the blanket.

Towel.

Don't correct me.

And do not tell me how to live my life.

Look, I didn't mean it like that. I was just trying

to be supportive.

When you care for someone, you fight for them.

You don't just give up.

[thud, man grunts]

[laughter]

[TV turns off]

What have you done?

The right thing.

Bob is the better man,

and I stand by him no matter the consequences.

Come on in.

Thank you.

Hello.

Little help?

Bathroom. Bobby?

Anyone?

Hello?

Come on!

Somebody!

Hello?

May I help you?

[both scream]

[door slams]

["Ifanla" by Sola Akingbola playing]

Is she all right?

Yeah. Half an Ambien, and it never happened.

I helped myself to some tea.

I made you a cup, as well.

Thanks.

You know, I never really drank this stuff

before I met Abishola.

[chuckles]: Nigerians. We love our tea.

Hey, we got it from the British.

That and syphilis.

They also gave you that goofy-ass game.

What's it called? Cricket.

Don't mock cricket!

It is a game of kings.Sorry.

It-It's like baseball, but with big-boy pants.

My mistake.

It was.

Yeah. You hungry?

Oh, I shouldn't eat this late.

I-I get the acid reflux.

Yeah, me, too.

What's on the menu?

Ooh, meat lovers. That would include me.

Coming up.

Tunde, I'm really sorry for getting you in trouble.

You should be. If I knew you were going to give up,

I would have not been your Deep Throat.

My Deep Throat?

Richard Nixon, Watergate. Read your history.

I was just doing what I thought was best for Abishola.

I already told you what was best for her. You.

Are we sure about that? I mean, come on.

I'm a 50-year-old white guy shaped like a honey baked ham.

Is that how you sell socks,

with the self-pity and the whining?

Hey, my socks sell themselves.

They're the best in the world.

Youare the best in the world.

I appreciate that, but...

Say it.

Tunde...

Say it.

I'm the best in the world.

Say it like you mean it.

I'm the best in the world.More.

I'm the best in the world.

Again.I'm the best in the world!

DOTTIE: Will you two shut the hell up!

Sorry. Sorry.

Is that him?Yes.

That is a sexy pharmacist.

I'd like to take him twice a day on an empty stomach.

Kemi, please, don't.

Don't what, be happy for you?

I am just here to pick up a prescription.

You can lie to yourself, but don't lie to me.

Bringing you was a bad idea.Next.

Too late now.

Abishola, good to see you.

Good to see you, too, Chukwuemeka.

This is my friend Kemi.

Kemi, this is Chukwuemeka.

Nice to meet you.

And you, too.

And may I say, the shape of your head

is very pleasing.

Thank you.

Uh, yes, I am picking up a prescription

for Dorothy Wheeler.

One minute.

Oh, what pleasures lie beneath that smock?

Shh.

Ah, here it is.

I know, as a health care professional,

you do not require consultation,

but should you need me, I am available 24/7.

That's all the hours and all the days.

I know what it is.

In the meantime, is there any possibility

I could take you out to dinner?

Tonight, perhaps.

Tonight? Ah.

Actually, I was planning to spend time

with my son tonight.

I will spend time with him.

I cannot ask you to do that.

You don't have to. I insist.

But I promised to help him with his homework.

All you do is yell at him. How does that help?

I guess tonight would be fine.

Wonderful. 7:00?

Perfect.

I'll see you then.

Oh, I still owe you for the prescription.

It's just the co-pay. My treat.

Thank you. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.Bye-bye.

Oh, my God, he covered the co-pay! Shh.

Mmm.

This is delicious.

Where did you learn to cook?

In Nigeria. Children there are expected

to do many household chores.

Did you have to carry water on your head?

Our water came from a faucet.

Oh, good for you.

And unlike your Detroit water, we could drink it.

Oh, snap.

And what about you?

Uh, did you have to work as a child?Sure.

I was a babysitter, a waitress.

I worked for my dad.

You know, he was the first guy in Detroit

to sell Japanese cars.

Oh, people hated him.

I spent a whole summer

hosing dog poop off Datsuns.

You never told me that story.

'Cause you never asked.

But Tunde did.

I did.

DOTTIE: This man knows more

about me than you do, and he's only been here a day.

Not even.

Really? Feels like longer.

Uh-uh.

Uncle, what are you doing here?

Ask your auntie.

They got in a big fight, and he slept here.

Scared me so much I almost wet myself.

Likewise.

Again, I am so sorry.

Oh, you were only trying to help.

More than we can say for Sleeping Beauty over there.[laughs]

UNCLE TUNDE: That's funny.

Because you were sleeping.

Hey, uh, any chance you and I can talk about,

you know, what we need to talk about?

I'm sorry, I have to work.

Uh, okay. Later, then.

Oh, Bob...

I know.

What happened to "I am the best in the world"?

Was I supposed to say that to her?

Well, it's better than, uh...

[high-pitched]: "Can you and I talk about,

you know, what we need to talk about?"

Is that really what I sounded like?

You are a little nasal, honey.

I got to get to work. You need to be somewhere?

No, he needs to be right here.

Do you play gin rummy?

A penny a point.

How about a dime? Make it hurt.

Ooh, aren't you already in enough pain?

Ah, trash talk. I love it.

Bobby Socks, go run and get Mommy's cards.

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, fellas.

E karo,Mr. Wheeler. E karo.

Yeah, yeah, karo.

Everything okay here?

Yes, sir. Jim-dandy.

God bless you guys.

God bless you as well, Mr. Wheeler.God bless you, sir.

Yeah, maybe.

Are you okay?

Don't worry about it.

If the company is in trouble, you will tell us, right?

The company's fine, doing better than ever.

How are things with you and the beautiful Abishola?

Aw...

[sighs]

Hmm. Look who came home with his tail between his legs.

My tail is in the air, wagging proudly.

I just got off the phone with Ogechi,

and her son is taking Abishola to dinner tonight.

That's nice.

The Red Lobster,

where she can have all the popcorn shrimp she can eat.

It's not true.

They made me stop.

What are you doing?

Dottie won't take a check.

Dottie? Bob's mother?

And my friend.

Is that where you have been?

Yes. And I'm going back.

Why?

Because she is nice to me.

And I'm down $280.

What?!

Don't worry about the prices.

Order whatever you want.

Thank you.

I pay off my credit card every month,

so the sky is the limit.Okay.

As long as the sky is under $2,500.

So, here we are.

Yes.

May I ask you a question?Of course.

Do you like Zach Galifianakis?

I do not know who that is.

He's an American actor.

Very funny.

He made one movie where he drank so much alcohol

he could not remember what happened the day before.

So the movie is about alcoholism?

[laughs]

Yes!

It was so hilarious, they made it over and over again.

Can I interest you in a glass of wine?We'd better not.

We don't want to forget our wonderful date.

I'll have a glass.

White? Red?

I don't care. Just bring something.

Oh, this is helpful.

[groans]

Well, hang in there. You can still come in second.

If I want to be mocked, I will go home to my wife.

So this whole blowup is about Bob

and Abishola?It's not just that.

It's years of having my opinions dismissed.

Mm. Sounds like you just want to be heard.

That is exactly right.

All right. Go ahead, then.

Let's hear them.

Hear what?

Your precious opinions. What are they?

Well, I don't have them now.

Then why are you being such a big drama queen?

King. Drama king.

But I do think that Bob

is the better man for my niece.

Of course he is. He's the best guy in the world.

That's what I keep telling him.

His whole life, he's been bashful around women.

And public pools.

Well, I understand that.

I swim in a T-shirt.

[door opens]

BOB: Hello?In here!

Maybe you can give him a pep talk.

He is a white man with money.

God already gave him a pep talk.

We're still doing this? Okay.

Hey, come. Sit, join us.

Yeah.

Play cards with old people,

get a sneak peek at the rest of your life.

Thanks, but, uh, I think I'm gonna call it a night.

All right. Sweet dreams.

Dottie, did I mention that my niece

is on a date tonight with a Nigerian pharmacist?

Is that so?

Yes, at the Red Lobster near the civic center.

A-According to Google Maps, one could drive there in 14 minutes,

or two hours walking.

Don't wait up.

Subtle.

I thought so.

Gin. [sighs]

You are like a witch.

[cackles]

You know, these bibs are ours to keep.

That's nice.

Are you enjoying your lobster?

Very much. But I think I'm getting full.

That's because you ate too many popcorn shrimp.

Maybe.

You did. I was counting.

Oh, no. Hey.

What are you doing here?

I'm sorry to interrupt. I just got to say something.

You look familiar.

You're in the Midwest, pal. Lot of guys look like me.

All right, listen. You didn't want to talk to me in private,

so we're gonna do it in public.No, we are not.

I'm here because I want to be with you.

Bob, please. You are embarrassing me.

Me, too. You should leave.You're right.

I should.

Abishola.

You're way out of my league.

You're funny,

smart, gorgeous

and you know how to cut through all my BS with just a look.

Yeah. Like that one.

I-I know you and I

don't make any sense.

We're like ice cream for breakfast.

It doesn't seem like a good idea,

but if it makes you happy, why not?

Ice cream for breakfast?

It's a metaphor.

Technically, it's a simile.

All right.

Anyway, that's my sales pitch.

Enjoy your dinner.

Okay. He had his chance.

Now is my turn to speak.

It does not have to be.

Abishola, what I am about to say

will be at times both funny and moving.

More wine, please.

Gin.

I'm beginning to think these cards are marked.

Possible. Or maybe you just suck.

[doorbell rings]

Saved by the Chinese food.

You're not my egg roll.

Come home. Why?

What do you mean, "why"? That is where you belong.

I belong where my thoughts and feelings are appreciated.

Thoughts and feelings?

What is wrong with you?

DOTTIE: Tunde, who is it?My wife.

Olu? Invite her in!No!

I'm tired of being pushed around!

DOTTIE: Just do it!

Please, come in.

I know what you're thinking, but we were just playing cards.

I couldn't jump his bones if I wanted to.

I'm sorry my husband has imposed on you, but we'll be going now.

I'm not an imposition, I am an invited guest.

You're an ATM machine is what you are.

Please, both of you, sit down.

You're mad at Big T, aren't you?

Who is Big T?

Tunde.

This is the first time I'm hearing it, but I like it.

Well, then, yes. I'm very mad at Big T.

DOTTIE: Yeah.

You have no idea how lucky you are.

Lucky?

Olu, I was married

to my husband for 26 years, and mad at him for 27.

27?

He pissed me off when he died.

But I'd give anything to yell

at that dumb son of a bitch one more time.

I don't understand.

Well, think of it this way.

You and Tunde

are like cellmates serving a life sentence.

Inevitably,

there's going to be times when you want

to stick a shiv in his ribs.

But you don't.

And that's love.

I have missed you.

Okay. DOTTIE: Tunde!

I have missed you, too.

Better.[doorbell rings]

Perfect timing. That's the Panda Palace.

Tunde? I'm going.

[whispers]: You've got a good one there.

I do. Now give me the cards.

I need to win back some of this money.

Wait, you showed up

at the restaurant?

I thought it would be romantic.

I think it's sweet.

I think it's stalking.

Well, it doesn't matter.

She found somebody better, life goes on.

On the bright side, she's Mom's primary caregiver,

so you get to relive your shame every day.

[chuckles]Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Who is that helping?

Good morning.

Hey.Morning.

Bob, look who it is. It's Abishola.

Take a hike.

Because you want to make another weird, pathetic speech?

Go.DOUGLAS: Okay.

Bye.

That was a three-dollar muffin.

I'm really sorry about last night.

You should be.

I didn't mean to embarrass you.

You embarrassed yourself.

Well, regardless,

I stand by everything I said.

Good to know.

Here. I brought you breakfast.

Ice cream?

Enjoy. I'm going to check on your mother.

Captioning sponsored by CBS

and TOYOTA.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org