Original subtitles

(glass breaking)

(sound of train passing by)

- [Voiceover] That wraps up the first edition

of the Pittsburgh Pulse.

Our thanks to Democratic Congressman Mark Allen

and Alyssa Denolfo of the Penn Conservative League

for joining us today.

- [Voiceover] We hope you'll join us every Saturday

as we look at the day's top issues from all sides.

Even McCormack's whacked out lefty perspective.

[McCormack] That's right.

And Mike will continue his quest

to make Bill O'Reilly look progressive.

We've got shows coming up on Wall Street Reform,

calls for national energy policy, and the drive for

marriage equality in the Keystone State.

Mike loves that one.

[Mike] Say I don't Pennsylvania.

And of course you can follow our columns

Tuesdays and Thursdays in the Times Herald.

Until next time I'm Mike Steinman.

[McCormack] And I'm Colin McCormack

on The Pulse.

Who's your daddy?

(laughter)

- Okay okay, so this year turned out pretty good.

Mike, Colin, nice work.

- Yes

(cheering)

- Okay, it's enough.

Enough.

I don't need their egos any bigger.

Now, maybe ya heard this.

Print is dead.

How 'bout them apples?

Christ.

So, corporate is hot for the potential synergy here.

I swear to God if I never say that word again.

Anyways, since you've seen the commercials

tomorrow at noon.

So keep spreading the word.

(indistinguishable) my office.

The rest of you clowns, enjoy the weekend.

- Amber, did you get those Medicare stats?

(Amber talking into phone)

- Okay, Amber is a stripper name.

And you can't hire someone with a stripper name

to produce a news show.

- Yeah, tell that to Steinman.

Listen, did I see interns?

- Yeah.

Started yesterday.

- Can I borrow one?

I've got a little research project

and I swear Amber just goes to Wikipedia.

(both chuckling)

- Monday okay?

- Perfect.

Heading out.

Gotta get to the gym.

- Or you can just give in to middle age spread

like the rest of us.

- Maybe I will.

When I'm middle aged.

(slap on butt)

- Oh!

(rock music)

* And I fucked up

* yet again

* A long

* a long way

(imitating drum solo)

(indistinct singing)

* It don't matter

- [TV announcer] Six unanswered points.

- Shit!

- [TV announcer] Panthers can't afford this kind

of deficit in the early going.

Stamina's a big question--

(phone ringing)

- Well, there you are.

Why is it celebrities are never on time?

Seriously, you and Madonna always keep me waiting.

- [Colin] It's in the handbook.

- How was the screening?

- [Colin] It turned out great.

Kind of weird to see myself on TV though.

- [Other man] Oh right.

You know you can't wait to be besieged

by adoring fans.

- Got my first one today.

Caught one of the interns checking me out.

Kind of cute too.

- [Other man] Colin.

- [Colin] Oh relax.

I like em young but there are limits.

- [Other man] Do we need to have a little talk

about sexual harassment?

You know, it's generally frowned upon.

- [Colin] Shut it.

The game's started.

They're getting hammered.

(door closing)

Yo.

Oh, come on!

Where's the defense?!

- [Other man] What?

Is it getting worse?

(TV announcer talking)

- Down 12 already, Jesus.

- Hey.

Welcome back.

- [Other man] Please.

I don't know that one journal article

counts as a career renaissance.

- Always on the bright side with you.

- Yeah, that's part of the charm.

- Oh!

Come on.

- Harper is throwing bricks.

They need to sit him now.

Buh bye.

- Easy Prince Charming.

Get your food before it ices over.

- Ah see.

I should coach.

- You're a genius.

Hey...

We should go out tonight.

After the game.

We should celebrate.

- Nah.

- Stewart.

When was the last time you got some?

- Let's see.

Truman was president so--

(Colin laughing)

No, wait.

Eisenhower, so see I'm good. You have fun.

- Oh...

I will.

(loud club music)

- Mom.

Mom I can't--

You're slurring.

I can't understand you.

He said what?

What did he--

I'm sure he didn't mean that.

I said I'm su--

Why don't you just call me tomor--

No.

No.

I don't want to talk to him.

Mom, no--

Fuck!

Hi dad.

Yes sir, I can tell.

Just tell her I'll--

Dad.

Are you there?

(raunchy rock music)

* Down in the hole

* Worn and faded

* Torn and jaded

* Thrown away

* Overrated, understated

- Yo.

Are we two or three?

- Kicked him out.

- [Stewart] Oh good, I'm starving.

I let you have an extra hour.

(cell phone ringing)

- Hey, dad.

What's up?

- Hey Tom.

You see--

Oh, fuck!

(Collin mumbling in agreement)

(alarm beeping)

- Collin, your show.

Is it on DVR?

- Alex died.

- Your uncle Liam's Alex?

- Massive stroke last night.

- Oh my God.

- Liam's devastated.

So...

We're gonna go out to L.A. just to...

Be with them.

Help with all the arrangements.

- You want me to go with?

- Yeah.

Dad would really appreciate that.

Liam too.

- [Voiceover] I feel like I was blessed to have him.

And ah...

Now I feel blessed again because

you're all here with me.

To celebrate his life.

My big brother Tom.

Thank you Tommy.

For giving me away when Alex

finally could make an honest man of me.

(chuckling)

And our precious...

Precious friends.

You know, Alex's family...

They never accepted who he was.

And that hurt him more than you can imagine.

But you...

All of you,

you were his family.

- [Stewart] It's very nice to meet you.

- I want you to think about it.

- I will.

I promise.

Search Committee at UCLA.

I know, crazy right?

- You boys, don't miss your plane.

- Love you dad.

- Love you son.

Stu, thanks for coming out.

- Of course.

- Appreciate it.

- You look very handsome Stewart.

- Thanks Mrs. M.

- They're gonna miss their plane.

- Go go go go.

(indistinct chatter)

- After 50 years.

Have we missed out?

- That's a dangerous question.

What color's the car?

(car beeping) - I mean growing up I wanted

to be just like my dad, you know?

Devoted wife, couple of kids.

But when I realized I was gay I guess I thought

a family just wasn't in the cards.

- Please, you're not the marrying kind.

You're more of a...

Slut.

- Shut it.

(chuckling)

I mean, yeah but...

- And don't forget all the spunk

you sold for beer money at Yale.

(squirting sound)

Check it off.

- Stewart.

Jesus, you're not...

- What?

- You make it impossible sometimes.

- Are we talking actual feelings here?

Do we do that?

- Not if you can help it?

- Okay, I'm listening.

- Mmm, who's your daddy?

Just give me the keys.

(car beeping)

- [Voiceover] I'll tell you why Pat.

The bible very clearly tells us

that marriage is between a man and a woman

and it is a sacred covenant.

The bible also very clearly tells us

that homosexuality is an abomination.

And that is the word.

Abomination. - Knock knock.

- [Voiceover] To claim that homosexuals should be allowed--

- What the fuck?

- The Reverend Irvin Lockwood.

Amber booked him for the show

on marriage equality.

- Of course she did.

I come bearing intern.

Why are you lurking like that?

Come on in here.

Come on.

He's not gonna bite.

Colin McCormack, Thaddeus Bloom.

- It's Tee.

Goes by Tee.

- [Colin] Nice to meet you, Tee.

Shar showed me your samples.

Some of the strongest student writing I've ever read.

- Really?

You liked it?

That's, wow.

- Okay, this one won't stop talking about you.

Colin this, Colin that.

You'd think you were Justin Beaver.

- Uh, it's Bieber, Shar.

Not Beaver.

- Whatevs.

Figured you know.

(chuckling)

- All right.

My shit comes first.

Capisce?

- Yes ma'am.

- (chuckles) Ma'am.

Can you fucking believe this?

(chuckles)

- Okay.

So, are you familiar with Reverend Irvin Lockwood?

- Yes, sir.

Pops made me watch him every Sunday.

- Oh, you're not a...

- No sir.

The Reverend is not too fond of us homosexuals.

I kind of hate him.

- Well, we need to stay objective here.

But,

there are rumors.

I'm sure you've heard.

- The mistress?

- The mistress.

- That's the devil's tongue talking.

- So he says.

No one's been able to connect the dots.

But I thought if we gathered all various sources

that do exist.

- We can see all the dots he wants?

- Right.

This guys calls himself a defender of marriage.

If he's screwing around...

I wanna nail him on it.

We have a month.

See what you can find.

- Yes sir.

- Tee, um...

This whole sir thing,

it's killing me.

Just Colin please.

- Yes sir--

Colin.

- [Stewart] Holy crap, traffic was--

Oh, uh...

- You're looking for Colin?

He's in Ms. Miyake's office.

- Thanks.

- I still think you're too ugly for TV.

- And the makeup helps.

You're still wearing it, you know.

- It kind of makes me feel pretty.

- Great show guys.

- [Mike] Hey.

- Good night.

- Uh, Medicare?

- Oh sorry.

I didn't get to it.

- [Colin] Admit it Mike, you hired her

for her tits.

- McCormack please, there's a lady present.

- Fuck that.

Answer the question.

(chuckling)

(door knocking)

Hey Stu.

- Hey Shar.

Michael.

- Stu man.

- Game starts in 20 and I don't wanna have to

chase people from our seats.

Did you get my message?

- Oh.

Shit.

We were taping so I turned off my phone.

- All right ladies.

Better go wash this makeup off

so the wife doesn't think McCormack's giving me the gay.

(Mike taunting)

- Do you guys even read his columns?

(chuckling)

- So, who was that in your office?

- Tee, short for Thaddeus.

He's an intern.

What's this about, an interview?

- UCLA.

They're flying me out for some meetings.

I have one next week.

- So you applied.

- Well, it seemed like such a long shot.

You don't think I should?

- Huh?

Oh no, It's just...

I mean they're a big deal, right?

I thought you were over high pressure academia.

- I don't know.

Fifteen years?

Maybe I can handle the political bullshit

now that I'm older.

- Yeah but...

You're happy here, right?

Avoiding the question?

- Perpetually.

(melancholic music)

- [Colin] How do you fix that?

I've had three different IT guys in here.

- McCormack, I gotta bail on the game.

Little Mike's been puking all day

and the wife's in a mood.

- Is he all right?

- Yeah, he's fine.

He's a kid.

He eats bugs.

You know.

- Did you eat bugs?

- I don't think so.

- Me either.

(chuckling)

Hey.

Any interest in catching a basketball game?

I still can't believe you spent two years at UNC

and never went to a single game.

Here, let me--

- What?

- It still has the stickers on it.

- That's hip hop man.

- Leaving he stickers on?

That's ridiculous.

Well at least brake in the brim a little.

- Nuh uh, it's my hat.

- I paid for it.

(phone ringing)

Yo.

This isn't over.

So how's it going?

- [Stewart] Holy crap.

- That bad huh?

- No no no no.

That good.

They love me.

- Really?

- Well you don't have to sound so surprised.

- [Colin] I'm not.

- [Stewart] I know, I know.

It's just the first day.

But I had this great meeting with the dean.

He has read all my stuff which was surreal.

- That's great.

- [Stewart] Right?

And then, this afternoon I'm just touring the campus

and I get hit by this cute professor from

the history department--

Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something.

- Did you just say the universe?

- Oh God.

One day and I'm already talking like them.

- Mention kale and I'm sending out a rescue party.

- [Stewart] Please send the hit squad.

Now listen, I'm meeting history department for a drink.

Um, I gotta go.

Tomorrow is meetings, meetings, meetings.

And then some big dinner thing.

But I'll call when I can.

- Oh, okay.

Talk to you then.

Glad it's--

- Something wrong?

- Hmm?

Oh, no no, just...

(exhales heavily)

Stu.

Another round?

(laughing)

- Sure.

(train honking)

- [Tee] A half an hour north of Ashville.

Near the Tennessee line.

- Sounds rustic.

- Yeah.

- You know, I grew up right here, Carnegie Mellon

faculty brat.

- Yeah, I know.

I think some of the--

- Look at that ball control!

Come on.

How can you not love basketball?

- Why, because I'm black?

- Shut it, jackass.

Because you're from North Carolina.

Dean Smith, Coach K, Michael fuckin' Jordan?

- Pops wasn't too big on extracurriculars.

Took too much time out of bible study.

- Wait, seriously?

- Yes sir.

- Stop that.

Wow, so your dad's...

pretty religious.

- Um, I was raised by my grandparents.

But, yeah, Pentecostal.

- [Colin] Yeesh.

- No snakes or nothing.

People always ask about that but...

it's still pretty hardcore.

- Are your parents...

- Yeah, in a car wreck.

I was three.

I don't remember anything.

- [Colin] I'm sorry.

So, does your grandfather

know you're gay?

- Oh, yeah.

He caught me and my best friend,

you know.

- Oh shit.

(laughing)

- He used to pray over me.

Like a lot.

Out saying, "Leave this boy."

It's pretty intense.

I told him I was healed once but...

Then he caught us again.

(laughing)

- Sorry to laugh.

I'm sorry.

- [Tee] Program's great but, I just transferred.

I'm gay, I'm black.

I talk different.

- That's gotta be tough.

- No, everyone's super nice, just...

I don't know, sometimes I feel like

I'm a pet alien or something.

- Phone home.

- What?

Pet alien like E.T..

- Oh, like the movie.

I've never really seen it.

We didn't.

- Come on.

With Elliott and E.T. and what's her name--

Drew Barrymore?

The bicycle chase and they start flying?

No?

- It sounds cool.

It's from the 80s right?

- Oh shit.

Never mind.

Ouch.

So you feel like an alien.

But do you think your classmates really

view you that way?

Or is that--

Oh.

I'm sorry.

- What?

- I don't mean to grill you.

Hazard of the job.

Every conversation is an interview.

You'll see.

- What's your favorite color?

- My...

- I'm practicing my interview skills.

Favorite color?

- [Colin] That's your opening question?

Favorite color?

(both chuckling)

Wow, I smell a Pulitzer.

- Favorite color?

- Blue.

- Cats or dogs?

- Neither.

Not that I don't like them.

I just can't be around them.

Allergic.

- Me too.

Like my eyes start swelling up

and I can't stop sneezing.

- Exactly.

Um, hang on.

I gotta...

(urinating)

(laughing)

Sorry about that.

I've enjoyed hanging out with you.

Thaddeus Bloom.

- Yeah, me too.

- Oh.

Shit.

Did I?

- No it's--

- Oh...

Shit!

What the fuck am I doing?

- Colin it's okay.

- No fuck! Don't!

Oh fuck!

What is wrong with me?

- Colin? - No.

Listen.

Tee, this is my fault.

I'm sorry.

You're an intern.

- It's okay. - No!

Tee, it's not.

You should go.

- What?

- Just go!

Forget Lockwood. We shouldn't be--

Oh fuck!

- I-- - No!

Just stay away from me.

I mean it!

Stay away!

(train bell chiming)

(zipper unzipping)

(low suspenseful music)

- Hey.

- [Tee] Hey.

I couldn't figure out the coffee maker.

- It took me a week.

The manual's like War and Peace.

Did you shower?

- Nah, I have to change before work anyway.

I shower at the dorm.

- Dorm.

Oh Christ.

Tee, um.

Listen, uh.

Last night...

I think this might be--

- Your place is really cool.

- Oh.

Yeah.

Thanks.

- Just like grandma made.

(phone dial)

- [Voiceover] Hi, this is Professor Stewart Wisniewski

and this is my personal voicemail.

If you're calling about office hours please call my--

(phone beep)

(high intensity electronic music)

- [Colin] Wow, this brings back memories.

Never mind.

Fine, when I was a senior in high school

I used to fool around with this guy

on the fourth floor, Kevin, Kevin--

Oh shit.

I don't think I ever knew his last name.

- Oh gee, that's real classy Mr. Role Modal.

Oh wait.

You have to wait a minute.

- Tee, don't worry about it.

You should have seen how messy I was in college.

Drove Stu nuts.

- No, just wait here okay?

- Okay.

What room?

- 313.

- All right.

- Okay.

You can come in now.

- Wow.

Stu would approve.

Well...

- I always had to clean my room or else.

- Why'd you transfer?

- Just, distance.

- As in you needed some?

Tee, why do you have this?

- Pops sent it.

- Why would you keep it?

Oh.

Babe.

This is going.

(moaning and grunting)

- Put her on hold.

* Well I'm, self absorbed

* and sex obsessed

* I enjoy the excess

* I'm a fun little mess

* I got the knowledge

* but I failed the test

* I came second best

* like all of the rest

* self indulged and self inflicted

* every word I say may be contradicted

* Now I'm laid out on my f--

- You're early.

- Oh, yeah.

I got a flight out this morning.

And now I can't find my key.

I need to get the spare.

- Oh, right.

- Hey, that smells good.

Have you got enough for two?

The airline charged me eight bucks

for a so called snack box containing

the most baffling assortment of crap.

- Uh no, sorry.

- So it turns out this trip was a fucking waste of time.

Shocker.

- I thought it was going well?

- Ah, it was going well until I--

Um, hello.

Not enough for two.

- Okay.

Sorry.

- Oh my God you're blushing.

- I am not.

- Look at you.

You're blushing.

Who is it?

And how do I not know this?

(door bell buzzing)

- Shit.

You have to go.

Okay.

But you have got to promise...

to go easy.

It's Tee.

- No, the intern?

- Come on, now don't get all-- - [Stewart] Oh Jesus Colin.

You know your little fetish for post collegiates

is bad enough but come on he's a fetus.

- I know, I know, but...

He's smart and...

Kind of fascinating.

He's got this totally fucked up background.

I mean fucked.

Up.

Look, why don't you stay for dinner?

Talk to him and you'll see.

Or, you can tell me that I'm crazy

because seriously I feel like a teenager here.

- Well that makes two of you.

(door bell buzzing)

- He's 21.

- Colin, he's an employee.

- Okay, technically he doesn't report to me.

He's Shar's intern.

- Really, that's what you're going with?

I can't decide if this is funny or just pathetic.

(door bell buzzing) - Be nice.

- Well I'll try but I make no promises.

- Hey!

- Hi.

- Tee, you remember Stu?

He's gonna be joining us for dinner.

- Oh.

- [Colin] You're shitting me.

- [Stewart] Oh I shit you not.

Cut his fingernails during the interview.

- [Colin] What an asshole.

- Well he was Hal Tate's roommate at Princeton so...

- So, that explains it.

- Who?

- Doesn't matter.

You know, I had actually forgotten about that.

- Hal Tate was George's mentor

when he taught at Georgetown.

- So isn't that a good thing?

- Stu started getting more attention

and Tate didn't--

- We got into a pissing contest

and his dick was bigger, okay?

Moving on.

Anyway, it's beside the point because they're also

talking to Patricia Braxton Hall.

- [Tee] Who?

(silverware slammed)

- [Colin] Stewart, I'm not even sure who that is.

- The Black Ann Coulter.

- Oh.

Her.

She's a piece of work.

- She is appalling but she's smart

and she's a diversity wet dream.

- Can use the computer?

- I'm sorry babe.

We just had a lot to catch up on.

- It's okay.

Can I use it?

- You didn't like the cacciatore?

- No, I'm not that hungry.

- Want me to make you a sandwich?

- No, I'm good.

- [Colin] Take the laptop by the bed.

- Want me to make you a sandwich?

- [Colin] Shut it.

(exhales deeply)

(breathes frantically)

(suspenseful slow music)

- Hey.

Oh, uh, sorry.

- [Tee] Use the damn doorbell!

(doorbell buzzing)

- What are you saying man?

You're anti-gay marriage?

- No, I'm not saying that at all but,

let's be honest, it's a tradition designed

to foster procreation in a specific way.

With a dominant husband and a subservient wife.

So, how is that a useful model for homosexual relationships?

Not even straight people but that shit anymore.

- There are legal rights that come with marriage, man.

It' not just about procreation.

There's not fertility requirement.

Sterile people can still get married.

- Oh and I wish they would.

- We're being treated differently under the law.

Civil rights.

- Now there I agree with you.

Marriage may be a farce but

we should have equal access to it.

- You just like to argue.

- You're catching on.

- Whatever.

I gotta pee.

- Well golly, thanks for the update.

What?

- I can tell you like him.

- Well let's not get carried away.

Fine.

He is very right for a sixth grader.

Happy?

- Delighted.

Is that all he's eating?

- Wasting bacon, that's just wrong. (phone chiming)

- (screaming) Show time!

Babe!

- [Mike] Greetings Pittsburghers.

I'm Mike Steinman.

- [Colin] And I'm Colin McCormack.

And this is the Pittsburgh Pulse.

Thanks for sharing your Saturday with us.

- [Mike] This week we're taking a closer look

at the state of renewable energy in Pennsylvania.

Is it for real?

Or just a lot of expensive wishful thinking?

- [Colin] Like Mike's gym membership.

- [Mike] Exactly.

- [Colin] Our guest today are Patty Hickenlooper,

Executive Director of the Green States Initiative,

and Republican State Senator George Winston.

But first let's take a look--

(typing on keyboard)

There you are.

Tee, it's okay.

You know you can use it.

Can't sleep again?

So what have we got here?

(chuckling) You're looking at porn aren't you?

Let me see.

Let me see.

- No!

- Hey, where did you get that picture?

You friended my dad?

- You're account was logged on.

I just kind of--

- Tee, that's not...

- When you talk about him he sounds really cool.

- Yeah.

I'm lucky.

I know.

(chuckles) God.

I was so young.

I was so proud of that fish.

Dad made me feel like I'd landed a great white.

What else we have in here?

Wow.

It's after we won state championship.

Junior year.

Oh.

I love that one.

Stu and me, commencement day.

See, he does smile.

That's...

Christmas in Aspen 90...

Six?

97, does it say?

- Why is Stu there?

- He usually does the holidays with my folks.

His dad's a marine.

Super conservative.

And an asshole.

Plus...

His mom kind of drinks.

- But you guys were never...

- No.

I mean, we fooled around some in college but...

No.

He's my best friend.

Okay.

I need to get some sleep.

Come on.

Or maybe just get some.

(car honking)

(doorbell buzzing)

- Can we go now?

- Come on Babe!

- [Colin] So maybe you can help me prep on

the constitutional arguments.

- Yeah sure, I can pull some stuff together.

- I can do it.

- (chuckles) Thanks Babe, but I think

this is more Stu's bailiwick.

- [Stu] Chipotle maple syrup.

That's perverse.

- No, it's just different.

Try it.

- [Voiceover] Tee!

- Hey Cat!

- [Cat] How the hell you been?

- Oh my gosh!

Colin McCormack.

I love your show.

(chuckles)

And you...

Such a hottie.

- Why thank you, gorgeous.

(giggling)

- You keep giving that Steinman hell.

- I will.

I promise.

Who's your daddy?

- Is the irony of that completely lost on you?

- Huh?

Shut it.

- I mean, I will concede he's not your usual

frat boy type but I'm not used to your

little conquests hanging around like this.

- Stewart...

He's not a little conquest.

I really think I...

I don't know.

Maybe, the Greeks were on to something.

You know that older younger thing?

- Please, those stories never ended well.

Someone was always stabbing out their eyes

or getting chained to a rock.

- Just ease up a bit.

Please.

Fine.

Does he...

Look thin to you?

Oh God.

- [Lockwood] There is no such thing

as a gay child.

If a young person tells you that

what they are saying is they have embraced Satan.

You do not love that.

You do not accept that.

You cannot accept that.

You must fight the Devil.

And you must make that young person understand

the evil in the--

- [Colin] Tee.

You okay?

(mumbling yes)

So...

We tape tomorrow.

What have we got?

- I pulled a bunch of stuff

but it's all variations on the same thing.

- Damn.

- There's this from the Inquirer.

- No, I don't think we want to go down that route.

Shit.

Well, we tried.

- Colin, I'm sorry.

- Hey.

Don't worry.

You did great.

Really.

Maybe there's a reason no one can--

- Tee?

I'm heading out now.

Don't stay too late.

- We were just (clears throat)

Doing some stuff for tomorrow's Pulse episode.

- Okay.

He's not working you too hard is he?

- [Tee] No ma'am.

- All righty then.

Good night.

- Have a good night.

- Mhmm.

- Tee!

Tee, Jesus Babe, we--

We just, we need to be more careful here.

Okay?

Okay?

My place at seven.

We'll go for a run.

(Colin complaining of pain)

- Sorry.

- Didn't even see it.

Fuckin' rat on a leash.

Damn.

I really scraped it.

- I'll get the peroxide.

(door slamming) - Stewart!

- What?

Oh Christ.

Yeah yeah yeah yeah.

Ding dong.

Holy crap.

You should put some peroxide on that.

- We know.

- Why are you in such a tizzy?

- She said no.

- Who?

- Braxton Hall.

At the last minute, decided she didn't want to

make her kids change schools or something.

- So, does that mean...

- They just called.

- Wow.

That's...

Well done my friend.

Congratulations.

Tee, congratulations are in order.

Stewart got the job.

- Really?

That's awesome.

When do you go?

- I haven't actually said yes.

- You...

- Honestly, I thought it was a lost cause.

I told them I'd have to think about it.

What do you think I should do?

- You're asking me?

- [Stewart] Yeah.

- Well, I tell you what...

We're going to dinner at Pablo's.

Why don't you come with us and--

(complaining of pain)

Babe, careful please.

- Sorry.

All done.

- Colin, I could really use your advice on this.

Does he have to--

Um, can you take a rain check on dinner

just this once?

- No!

- Seriously? Colin!

- Jesus.

Fine, how is this,

Stu, let's go grab a drink.

Talk it through.

And then, Tee can join for dinner.

- Great.

What's my time allotment?

- Babe, would it be okay if--

- Whatever.

I got some stuff I can do at the dorm.

- You sure?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

Thanks.

Come here.

- Did you see that look he just shot me?

- You're being too sensitive.

- Uh huh.

(door slammed)

- He's--

He's not sleeping.

I think he's just tired.

- Well then get him some Ambien.

Or better yet, a shrink.

Because I'm telling you,

there is something not right about this kid.

- Look.

I know Tee's a little intense.

I'm not an idiot.

But I like the fact that he needs me.

That I...

Feel I can take care of him.

- Well that's just sweet.

But don't you feel--

- I called empathy Stewart!

I know it's not your thing.

- Not my thing?

- Don't you get tired of it?

Keeping the world at arms length.

That's what you do, you know.

- So this is about me?

- Yeah, it is.

'Cause you can't stand the fact

that I found someone.

Someone I actually care about.

You know why?

'Cause it means you might actually have

to find your own life.

Instead of glomming onto mine.

- You think that I--

Oh my God, you're ego is just--

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Just, fuck you.

I am out of here.

Enjoy your empathy.

- You know I'm right!

(door slammed)

- Stewart!

Fuck.

(solemn piano music)

(typing)

(elevator dinging)

- Hey Amber, is Colin in--

- Hello!

- Yeah, hi.

So is he--

What?

Hey buddy!

- Reverend Lockwood.

I'm Amber Fletcher.

We spoke on the phone.

- The pleasure is all mine.

Hi. I'm Irvin Lockwood.

- Hi, I'm gay.

He in his office?

- I am so sorry about that.

He's not with the show.

Please, follow me.

- I don't know what I'm supposed

to do with this now.

You couldn't make bullet points?

- Yeah well excuse me for being thorough.

- We got him!

- Calm down Tee.

- Just read it.

- Stu can you give us a second?

- Uh, yeah.

Sure.

Tee.

What is this?

- Did you see what he says about her pussy?

- Where did you get this?

This is Lockwood's personal email.

Where did you get it?

Did somebody give this to you?

Holy shit!

Tee, don't they teach you ethics?

We can't use this!

- But that's proof--

- Enough!

- I just thought--

- I can't deal with this right now.

- [Stewart] What the hell was that all about?

Is everything all right?

- Don't. Okay.

Just don't.

- [Tee] Hey, I got you! - [Amber] Tee!

You hear me?

You're a fucking hypocrite

and I got you!

- [Lockwood] You better get out of my face!

Take a step back.

- [Lockwood's body guard] Hey!

You hear the man.

Back off!

- [Tee] A fucking hypocrite!

(loud thump)

(people screaming)

- [Voiceover] Oh my God!

- Shit!

Call 911!

Honey, are you okay?

- I barely pushed him.

- Tee, can you hear me?

- I don't think you should move him.

- That boy was out of control

You saw.

- Somebody call 911!

- What the hell happened?

- Babe, it'll be okay.

- [Voiceover] Fifth floor.

He's not moving.

(suspenseful music)

(phone ringing)

- Yo.

- [Colin] Any luck tracking down the grandparents?

- No, his...

Phone and computer are password protected and...

Anyway I don't think they're very big correspondents.

Listen Colin, I'm gonna come get you.

- [Colin] No, Tee's awake but they've gotta run some tests

before they'll release him.

We'll just cab it back to my place.

- Okay, but Colin I--

- [Colin] Hang on, here comes the doctor.

I gotta go.

- Easy.

- I'm fine.

- Babe.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Give me a hand?

- I'm fine.

I just need to sit down.

- He's got a concussion.

Look after him.

I gotta pay the cab.

- Yeah.

I think I get it.

I really think I do.

I mean...

I've barely spoken to my father

in almost 20 years, you know?

And before that, well...

So I understand.

Growing up without that connection.

It hurts, I know.

- What do you want?

- He has to know.

- Fuck you!

- Tee, you have got to tell him.

- Tell who what?

- Colin, I'm just going to--

- [Colin] Sit!

Why are you upsetting him?

- Everything's okay.

We just have to talk.

That's all.

Right, Tee?

Right?

- Tee?

Is there something you...

Need to tell me?

Babe, it's okay.

You know you can tell me anything.

(sniffling)

What is this?

- When you donated,

you gave them permission to release your identity

to any results.

- I know but why...

I mean.

Oh my God.

Did your mom...

Are you?

Oh God.

Oh God, what have we done?

- Colin--

- Don't.

Get the fuck off me!

- Okay.

Hey, just calm down.

- He's my son!

And you knew?

- No Colin, I just--

- Colin, please.

- You let me fuck you!

- I thought it was worth it!

- Worth what?!

Are you insane?!

- Colin!

- Get him out of here.

When I get back I want both of you gone.

(door slams)

(crying)

- Oh hey! Hey.

Hey stop that.

Tee, damn it.

Stop.

(crying uncontrollably)

Stop that. Stop it.

Jesus. Stop that.

Stop it.

(shushing)

(sobbing)

(high intensity suspenseful music)

(doorbell buzzing)

- Colin!

(knocking on door)

- [Stewart] Colin?

(doorbell buzzing)

(loud rock music)

- Colin, can I come in?

Colin.

Colin.

Can I come in?

(loud rock music)

(vomiting)

- I waited my whole life.

To know.

My dad.

Just wanted to be near him.

- So why didn't you just tell him?

Before.

- I didn't know how he'd react.

He didn't need to know who I was.

I just...

Wanted him to like me.

It was going so good, you know.

Working together.

Then he kissed me and got all freaked out.

I thought I cold just...

But...

- Jesus.

- It's all fucked up, isn't it?

- Yeah Tee, it is.

It's...

It's pretty fucked up.

I want you to talk to someone.

Professional.

Okay?

- Yeah.

- I mean it.

Do you need me to help you find someone or...

- They got em at student health.

- Good.

(voice machine beep)

- [Colin's boss] Colin, listen um,

Christ, you better come

to the conference room.

Now, okay.

- [Voiceover] This isn't necessary stuff?

It's what this is.

Permanent.

Sully--

Mr. McCormack, thank you.

Please, take a seat.

- [Colin's boss] So Colin, this here

is Mr. Hanson from legal.

Apparently we got a situation here.

- Save it Al.

I quit.

- [Hanson] Mr. McCormack, we're only proposing

a suspension.

(doorbell buzzing)

- These are yours.

- Colin, you can keep them if you want.

- No.

- Come in?

Please.

I could use the company.

Packing is so fucking boring.

Do you want something to drink?

- Got any beer?

- Oh, I can look.

Colin, I'm pretty sure this bowl--

(door shutting)

* Where did you come from

* The moment we met

* You had me spinning

* When you took my hand

* Sound the alarms

* You caught me off guard

* As fast as you came

* Then you were gone

* You string me along

* With your empty promises

* You just keep me hanging on

* You keep me hanging on

* You keep me hanging on

* You gotta let me go

* Just a hangman on your own

(phone vibrating)

* I can't breathe

* And I can't sleep

* You leave me here and I'm wondering

* I don't know where we stand anymore

* You're gone

* You come to me

* You move away

* You're here last night

* But you're gone today

* You make me feel that it's wrong for me to want more

* You tell me you miss me and then wonder why

* When I give you nothing - [Voiceover] Are you okay?

* I leave in a spot

* Well why should I

(indistinguishable singing)

(doorbell buzzing)

- [Mike] See what I mean folks,

these liberals have no sense of humor.

(door slamming)

- Colin, what the fuck.

Your voicemail is full.

You don't answer email.

Are you...

Colin, I don't know what to do here.

- Nobody's asking you to do anything.

Go back to L.A.

- So Tee's gotten himself expelled.

Pills and some...

Altercations.

A social worker thinks he needs

some in-patient treatment

and I can't stomach them shipping him off

to that whack job grandfather so...

UCLA Medical has a program.

We're on the 6 o'clock tomorrow morning.

- The way he would...

Look at me.

- What?

- He would...

Look at me like...

He wanted to consume me.

And I wanted that.

I wanted...

Something.

More, but I got it wrong.

He wanted a father.

He needed me to be a father.

And I made him--

- Colin you didn't know.

- I knew it was wrong.

On some level I knew it wasn't...

What he wanted.

- But he let happen.

And you can't take that on yourself.

He made a choice.

He got scared

and he made a fucked up choice

that we are all gonna have to find

some way to live with.

Especially Tee.

- Who are you?

I don't get it.

You're being so gentle with him.

- I don't know.

He's a good kid.

Incredibly fucked up but...

He's never had anyone looking out for him, you know.

And I remember what that felt like.

How alone I felt.

Anyway.

- Yup.

- Listen, I need to make sure he's packed

and ready to go.

He's staying with me at the hotel tonight.

I know he'd love to see you.

- I can't.

- Colin, you have got to just--

- No I don't.

I really don't.

- You are--

You're unbelievable.

Not everything is easy, you know, life.

I know you've managed to go 40 odd years

without having to face that little fact,

but I never expected this.

Things get shitty and you just quit.

Really?

Who are you?

(door slammed)

- [Mike] And of course you can follow our columns

Tuesdays and Thursdays in the Times Herald.

Until next time, I'm Mike Steinman.

- And I'm Colin McCormack on The Pulse.

And I'm Colin McCormack on The--

And I'm Colin McCormack on The Pulse.

And I'm Colin McCormack.

(uplifting guitar music)

- [Voicemail] Hey there, this is Kin Cheng, KCLA News.

Listen, we were impressed with your reel

and the timing couldn't have been better.

We got something coming up pretty quick.

So give me a call as soon as possible

and I'll fill you in on the details.

Okay.

I look forward to talking to you.

My number is 323-526...

- Mr. McCormack?

Well, I've discussed it with my colleagues.

- And?

- Well, frankly a little heads up

would've been appreciated.

We'd like to really discuss this with Tee before hand.

You understand this is...

Complicated?

- Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

- We have a group session starting shortly.

I'll ask you to keep it simple today.

Just, stick to the basics.

Just, reconnect.

And then perhaps you can come back tomorrow

for a more in depth session.

Would that work?

- I'll follow your lead here.

- Thank you.

I'll be right back.

- You're here.

- I am.

- I'm glad.

(knock on door)

- Hello.

- Oh hi, is this--

- Are you looking for Stewart?

- Yeah.

- Can I tell him--

You're Colin right?

- I am.

You are...

- Paul, hi.

- Hey hon, who is it?

Well now.

- Surprised?

- You think?

Paul, this is Colin.

- I recognized him.

- He did.

- So...

- I'm not interrupting, am I?

- No no, not at all.

Actually, you are saving me 'cause Stewart

is determined to make me a basketball fan

and it is not taking.

- You're not trying.

- Whatever.

Listen, I should really be working

on my lesson plans anyway.

So, why don't I leave you two boys to catch up.

- You sure?

- Of course.

- Okay, thanks hon.

- Yeah.

- I'll call you later?

- That's perfect.

- It's nice to meet you.

- Likewise.

- So was that History Department?

Seems like a good guy.

- He is.

- Does he live here, or?

- No, but...

He is a good guy.

- Oh my God.

- I know right

So what are you doing here?

- I've been a jackass.

- I am not gonna argue.

You okay?

- Getting there.

Yeah.

- Good.

Tee's doing better.

I can get you the number of the--

- I already saw him.

We're gonna--

Keep talking.

Stewart,

Why did, why did you move to Pittsburgh?

- Jesus Colin, it was 15 years ago, I can't--

- Stewart.

- That's where the job was.

Okay, no.

The shit storm at Georgetown wore me out.

And I missed my friend.

- I missed you too.

I know I never said that.

- We're masters at not saying things.

- We're pathetic.

I'm pathetic.

So let me--

Say this.

Having you in my life

has meant the world to me.

You,

you are my family.

- You bastard, you know I feel the same way.

Our son had some issues.

(laughing)

- So I got a meeting with the CW affiliate here.

They're looking for a weekend anchor.

You think I might like California?

- Yeah, I do.

- I do?

What, are we married now?

- Oh, shut it.

I'm spoken for.

- [Sport's announcer] How about that one?

He looked like a freight train out of control

but it was all net.

Wow.

One of the highlights of the night so far.

And there have been plenty of them.

Fantastic.

In case you missed it, the Tigers...

- [Colin] I feel old.

- [Stewart] Yeah.

- [Colin] Well.

(soft rock music)