Original subtitles

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>> This one? Yes.

That's solid silver. I know all about

it. What do you want for it? I'll take

it to weight and a dollar more. Weigh it

up.

14 dollars and 60 cents plus a dollar is

1560. That includes the case. I'll have

to charge you two bits more for that.

One bit is plenty. All right, I won't

bargain with you. Now, give me the

address of the man who hocked it. Is he

a friend of yours? Yes.

Only he's dead now.

Oh.

It's so good to see you

again.

So good.

Now it's all over. I'm sorry I couldn't

be there. By the time I heard about it,

it was too late.

It doesn't matter. There was nobody

there but the children and me.

You'd think the medical society could

have

>> didn't know about it. Anyway, none of

that matters now. While he was still

alive, we hoped he'd get justice. I mean

for his sake.

You know how he felt about it.

Now,

it's only a question of how long it'll

take the world to accord him the honor

he deserved during his life. He ought to

have a monument in every city and a park

called after him, and a Morton Boulevard

and

>> That might be a little too much,

Ephraim.

Maybe one hospital someday. One

hospital? Every hospital ought to be

called after him.

This is what I came to bring you.

How very kind of you.

This was the last one.

He hated to part with it.

To the benefactor of mankind,

with the gratitude of humanity.

I'm sorry I started everything.

I was just thinking how happy we were.

It was the only time he was really happy

in his life.

We thought he was all through worrying

about things. He was happy with the

farm.

You know, he won all the prizes one

year.

Best kept farm, most improvements, best

[snorts] sow.

Three dollars, first admirable

peace.

Woah!

Huh?

You know what this is? I carried it all

the way, and then I tripped, and I got

it. Washington, D.C. That's where the

president lives. Washington crossed the

Delaware.

What is it, William?

Listen to this, Lizzie.

Dr. Warren, on the staff of the

Massachusetts General, addressed a

memorial to Congress. Daniel Webster

supported it, and now they're going to

vote me a hundred thousand dollars

award. How wonderful, William.

At last. I'll have to go to Washington

right away. How are you going to do it?

Borrow on the place, I guess.

I didn't so want to hold on to this for

the children's sake. They're so helpful.

But Lizzie, you don't seem to

understand. It's already passed

Congress. It only has to be ratified by

the Senate. The money's as good as in

the bank.

>> All our years of worry are behind us.

Everything I've ever promised you will

be yours with interest and love and

gratitude for the patience you showed

this man.

This is a memorial to the president

signed by 20 United States

>> One of the chance to him before he

signs. What is about the time?

Will you come in, please? Oh, do you say

Mr. Pierce or Mr. President Pierce? Just

Mr. President.

Uh this bill has passed both houses. It

requires only your signature. This man

has been waiting for years. I can't sign

this yet.

Now, don't look as if you've lost your

last friend, gentlemen.

As a man, I'm entirely for you. As a

lawyer, I must grant your opponent some

merit. As the president, I'm forced to

lean over backward. However you may feel

personally, the president of the United

States must always conduct himself like

cautious Charlie. That's his mission.

For that he was elected.

Now, I'm going to sign this amendment,

of course. But first, I want you to do

one thing.

I want you to bring a little suit

against some army or navy surgeon for

invading your patent. He's bound to

lose. That'll establish a precedent, and

these gentlemen will have to quit

hollering.

>> Yeah, but Mr. President, I won't wish

you luck. You won't need it. You're a

fine man, doctor. Believe me, I'd rather

be you than president any day. Well,

thank you, Mr. President. All right, Mr.

President, I'll do it. I hate to have it

look as if I was trying to make the

government pay to relieve wounded

soldiers from pain. The government pays

for the guns, don't it? Huh?

>> [laughter]

>> Well, good day. Good day.

>> [music]

>> Shame on the citizens of Boston watching

the progress of this trial.

Reviled by every newspaper in this

country and abroad.

Expelled from the American Medical

Association, disowned by his fellow

dentists, BURNED IN EFFIGY BY HIS FELLOW

TOWNSMEN, this avaricious little

dentist, this money-grubbing little

opportunist,

walks in shame,

alone, unhailed. Period.

Whatever the results of this trial, and

we pray that Morton will lose hands

down, let this be a lesson to the future

How's this, sir?

Not bad.

I think I'd make the fingers a little

longer, more claw-like, more

vulture-esque. Yes, Mr. Greeley.

Now, where was I?

Oh, yes.

Let this be a lesson to the future

Shylocks who attempt to prey upon the

misery of man. A discovery IS NOT

PATENTABLE.

>> [cheering]

>> A DISCOVERY IS not patentable. It is

only where the explorer has gone beyond

the domain of mere discovery and has

laid hold of the new principle and

connected it with some mechanical

contrivance by which it acts on the

material world that he can secure

exclusive control of it under the patent

law. The patent is invalid. What is

discovered isn't likely to be passed

among the greatest benefactors of

mankind.

Is this the same as bought by the

government?

>> Uh yes, sir. It's the same that we sell

to the government. Uh guaranteed in

every respect. Is this the same as Dr.

Morton's? Well, this is an ether

inhaler, uh guaranteed to work perfect.

Whether it's the same as Dr.

What's-His-Name's, I I wouldn't know.

>> Well, I would, because I happen to be

Dr. What's-His-Name, and I happen to

have invented these.

>> Oh, so you invented bottles, huh? People

have been using them for a long time.

They'll be very glad to know that you

invented them at last. And maybe you

invented the wheel, too, and the needle

and thread.

>> You know what I'm talking about. What's

this hole for? To stick flowers in.

Look, I sell bottles. People can keep

schnapps in them or maple syrup or

anything they want to, for all I care.

Well, you'll care when I get through

with you, you dirty schnapps Now, you

Now, wait a minute. Trying to rob me,

HUH?

YOU HIT ME, DID YOU? NO, NOW WAIT A

MINUTE.

WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> [screaming]

>> WELL, YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT WHETHER YOU

WANT IT OR NOT. YOU MUST respect both

for yourself and for your family.

>> you I can't afford it, doc. My practice

has all gone to pieces.

Neglected it while it was good, and now

my assistants have gone and taken all

the patients with them. I got so wrapped

up in that ether thing. I'm so mad most

of the time. I mean, all those people

saying I stole their ideas from them.

You know I discovered the use of ether,

don't you?

>> Of course I know it.

That's what killed him, you know, that

trip to New York.

Was that last article of Dr. Jackson's

calling him a charlatan? Saying he'd

stolen his discovery, bringing back all

the misery of 20 years.

Reopening the wounds.

We got him into bed. But in the middle

of the night he got up and started

sorting his papers to prove Jackson was

a liar.

On the 15th he seemed better.

It was very hot. We went for a drive in

Central Park.

He insisted on holding the reins himself

even though he said they were very

heavy.

Suddenly

he pulled up the horses and got off to

the ground

and just looked into the darkness.

I said

"What is it, dear?"

I said, "William, answer me."

He just smiled as if suddenly he had

understood something had long lost.

Then pitched forward on his face.

The papers spoke of him as the man who

claimed to have discovered the use of

ether.

They dug up the whole nasty business.

That Dr. Jackson [music] had told him

how to do it.

That he, Jackson, had known about it for

years.

Can you imagine anyone keeping a secret

like that?

And then they brought in poor Horace

Wells claiming that he did it first.

And Dr. Crawford Long's claim that he

had done it 4 years before.

Well, maybe they all did do it first.

Maybe they all did discover the use of

ether. I guess they did all right.

[music] Why should they lie about it?

But it seems so cruel to have let people

go on suffering so long after they knew

how to stop it.

All I know is that 3 months [music]

after my husband discovered anesthesia

the whole world was using it.

Supper's ready, Mama. All right, dear.

Come along, Ev.

Won't you have still another piece of

pie, Ev? Why, you have

No, thank you.

You're going to make some man very happy

someday. Thank you, Mr. Brown.

My, how your father loved pie. I really

think that's why he married me. Oh,

Mama. He ate so much my mother wanted to

throw him straight out of the house. Oh,

dear.

I do declare

I do declare, Lizzie, I'm going to have

to ask that young Mr. Morton to leave.

He pays his board regularly, but he's

just eating us out of house and home.

Tonight he had three plates of soup and

12 slices of bread, not that I counted

them. Four helpings of roast beef, six

potatoes almost a whole bunch of

asparagus

a hatful of beans, peas, and beets, and

three wedges of pie. Now, I can't do

that on $3 a week. Mrs. Bidden charges

$4 a week and does

Why, Lizzie.

Honey child

I had no idea you were fond of him. You

know I don't mean half the things I say.

I wouldn't ask him to leave if he ate

twice as much, heaven forbid.

If you didn't want me to. He's leaving

anyway.

Why? Now, don't tell me I indicated by

so much as a slightest look or glance

>> He hasn't got any money.

He can't be a medical student anymore.

Aw, the poor [snorts] lamb.

Well, there are plenty of other

businesses.

Maybe he'd do well in the meat business.

He seems to like it.

He's going to BE A DENTIST.

>> [laughter]

>> OH.

HE SEEMS such a nice young man.

You may not like the idea, but you're

going to have a dentist in the family

just the same. A dentist?

I'm certainly going to miss you, Miss

Lizzie.

I'm certainly going to miss you, Mr.

Morton.

It's not going to be very cheerful in

Boston.

It's not going to be very cheerful here.

You really mean that, Miss Lizzie?

Do you mean

Oh, don't do that.

I can't help it.

Come, Miss Lizzie. [snorts]

If I thought you'd wait for me, I'd work

so hard that in almost no time at all I

venture to say I'd be in a position to

support a

not luxury, maybe, but

to support a

family of reasonable size.

>> Oh, William.

And I know you're going to be rich and

famous, and I'm going to be so proud of

you, darling. Father won't be able to

talk against dentists anymore, and we'll

have a big house, and while you're at

the office, I'll be at home taking care

of my end of things.

Elegant around here, isn't it? Oh, but

this is so beautiful. Won't you try it?

With pleasure.

Oh, it's deliciously comfortable,

William. One would be reluctant to leave

it.

>> I hope patients feel that way about it.

Now, JUST LEAN BACK.

>> [laughter]

>> OPEN YOUR MOUTH.

>> UH-UH. WILL YOU OPEN your mouth?

DON'T BE A CHILD.

>> [screaming]

>> WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, RUIN MY

BUSINESS?

>> WHAT ARE YOU TRYING to do, ruin me?

>> I'd bore bigger holes than children that

smile while I DO IT.

>> THEY MUST have been half-wits. OPEN YOUR

MOUTH. NO.

Open your mouth and keep your trap shut.

>> Huh? Won't you try and show a little

courage? This won't HURT A BIT. OW!

IF I COULD LIE LIKE YOU, I'D TAKE UP

FORTUNE-TELLING.

NOW, OPEN YOUR MOUTH. OW!

>> [screaming]

[screaming]

>> UH, DON'T BE IN A HURRY. I'LL BE WITH

YOU IN JUST A MOMENT.

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I

I I I

Now, you sit down. I'll be with you in a

moment.

Oh, all right. Be a man.

Now.

Aren't you going to have another piece

of pie, dear? Huh?

Oh, no, thank you, Lizzie. Are you sick?

Huh? What?

What are you frowning about?

Dental profession.

I'm sorry, dear. It can't be helped. But

they yell so, Lizzie. It's

bloodcurdling. It gets on your nerves.

You can't put in a nice inlay like you

did in dental college with them

screaming bloody murder in your face or

trying to bite you. It's impossible.

Unless you're deaf or a demon or

somebody that likes to see people

suffer.

Why don't you try stuffing up your ears?

There'd be some way to

like your leg goes to sleep sometimes

when you're resting your elbow on

I don't see it'd be pretty hard to put

your head to sleep.

There ought to be a way to desensitize a

nerve.

Didn't Dr. Jackson say something about

that one night after supper? I don't

remember, dear. Somebody had the

toothache and Oh, yes, it was Horace

Wells. His face was all swollen out.

>> said the only way to desensitize a nerve

was

what? I don't remember. Some kind of

drops or something. It was supposed to

help some. Why don't you go and ask him?

Because I despise him so, the sarcastic

old blowhard.

>> It's better than hearing people yell. I

don't think it worked anyhow. I remember

Horace said Yes, but you're not sure.

You might try to find something for

that, too.

>> [screaming]

>> Is Professor Jackson in? I'm sorry, sir.

He's not at home.

Thanks.

But you might try Costello, sir. Oh.

Thanks.

Oh, good evening, Professor Jackson. How

are YOU?

>> WHY DON'T YOU LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE DOING?

>> I'M SORRY. SAY, do you remember what you

used on Horace Wells the night he had

the toothache? Why, I know you. Yes,

W.T.G. Morton. I was a student of yours

at Harvard Medical. His face was swollen

out and you said

>> Oh, YES, MORTON, OF COURSE. AND I

REMEMBER you were rather dull student.

You didn't keep us in stitches, either.

>> I suppose now you're a successful

physician. I didn't finish. I didn't

have enough money. Well, then you

shouldn't have gone into for medicine in

the first place. WHY, THE CANCERS OF OUR

PROFESSION IS THE NUMBER of youths

without FUNDS OR PROPER BACKGROUND WHO

try to worm their way into it for the

rich rewards they imagine it holds.

Thanks. I'm glad to see the years

haven't changed you. How are you getting

along?

>> Pretty well.

Rum punch. Yes, sir. Could be a lot

better. If there were only some way to

deaden the pain a little. They get in

your chair and they start to yell, and

the first thing you know, you have a You

>> your chair?

Are you a barber now?

>> No, no, a dentist. Oh. You say your

patients yell?

>> They certainly do.

>> Well, the remedy for that is very

simple. It's been known since the 15th

century. They still do it at Cardi's.

You merely provide a small orchestra,

and when your patient screeches, you

aren't screeching. I suppose you think

that's very funny.

I see your sense of humor hasn't

improved. Neither of your jokes. I

thought that was pretty good.

Oh, well.

Have you tried oil of cloves?

>> I've tried oil of cloves, I've tried

camphor, I've tried peppermint, I've

tried whiskey, I've tried brandy, I've

tried gin.

>> None of those are any good. There's only

one way to desensitize a nerve, that's

to freeze it. You might fill your

patient full of What with? A funnel, I

don't know.

A funnel.

Thought you were serious.

Well, of course, there is another way of

producing cold, that's by evaporation.

You might try something with a low

boiling point. Well, I didn't come here

to

deliver a lecture on chemistry.

Morton, give me a drink. Let me buy you

one.

Well, unaccustomed as I am going bibing

with dentists, What has a low boiling

point?

Cold water, I think. Ethers, I suppose.

You might get yourself some ethyl

chloride drops.

UH

THAT'S ALL THE SHOP I want to talk

about.

I think that's it. What's ethyl

chloride?

WHAT'S ETHYL CHLORIDE?

HE GOES TO SCHOOL WITH ME for years, and

now he doesn't know what ethyl chloride

is.

Morton, you are the living proof that

plow boys belong behind the harness.

>> Well, what is it? What's what?

>> Ethyl chloride.

C2H5Cl.

Known to the common doctors as chloric

ether. Where can I get some?

Well, you might try a feed store, and if

you can't get it there, then you might

try Burnett's Pharmacy.

My pupil.

Here's to you, Professor.

The same to you.

Doctor.

My pupil.

Oh, my.

That's put it in. Hold it.

Yes?

Oh, I want to get some ether, please. Do

you have to have it tonight?

>> I'd like to.

Oh, well.

Hold it there, Charlie.

Do you want chloric or sulfuric?

>> What? C2H5Cl or C2H5OC2H5?

Just a minute.

>> Do you want it for corns or asthma? Why

don't you come in in the morning?

>> Give me a bottle of each. An ounce? A

pint. A pint. Hold it, Charlie.

All right.

Is that you, William? Yes, dear. I'll be

up a little while. All right, dear.

William?

William!

William!

Oh, you're drunk. You ought to be

ashamed of yourself. I'm not dizzy. I

had two drinks, two small drinks. No

wonder I fell. You won't make it any

better by lying about it. You reek of

cheap liquor. Now, get up. I'll help

you.

>> Oh, yes, Charlie, help me. What's the

matter with you, Lizzie? You crazy?

>> Get up!

Why should I get up? I'm not down any

place.

>> Then what are you doing on the floor?

Who's on the floor? Where's the floor?

Get up!

Lizzie, I tell you [music] I have not

been drinking. I had two small drinks.

Why should I lie to you?

If I had three drinks or four drinks or

even five drinks,

I'd just assume

I don't know, but I tell you I was not

drunk.

Tell me something. Was I drunk when I

came in here last night? Oh, you're the

young man who wanted the ether.

>> That's right. Would you say that I was

drunk at the time? Not particularly.

What do you mean not particularly? I had

two drinks, two with Professor Jackson

down at Costello's. I came in here cold

sober, went straight home, and at

midnight my wife found me rolling around

on the floor. Oh, your liver must be

torpid. You see, the poisons are

normally dissipated through the liver.

But when this organ becomes congested,

now I have here

>> Yes, well, I happen to have been a

medical student myself. Right now, I'm a

practicing dental surgeon. Oh. My liver

works like a buttered eagle, and if

anybody was drunk in here last night, it

wasn't me. Now, there are two things

possible. Either I had a stroke, which I

don't appear to have had, or somehow

that bottle of ether that I found empty

this morning

>> Which one was it?

Sulfuric, I think.

>> Oh, well, there's your answer. You don't

have to go any further. The fumes of

sulfuric ether are extremely noxious. We

have to keep it tightly sealed, and I'm

always telling my assistant, if I've

told him once, I've told him a thousand

times, I've said, "Charlie,

>> Well, that solves that mystery.

Although, I don't suppose my wife will

ever believe it.

Thanks. Do you want another bottle? I

should say not.

Wait a minute.

Give me another bottle of it. Yes, sir.

>> [music]

>> Well, at last.

Oh, Wells, how are you? What are you

doing in Boston? I just got in from

Hartford. Come in. I have something very

interesting to tell you.

What is it? You remember when we were

students, we used to try to figure how

to pull a tooth without pain?

>> I'm still trying. I just got a bottle

down at the pharmacy.

>> Forget it. That's what I came to tell

you about. I've made the most important

discovery in the world. Fine. I can

extract teeth, or fill them, or do

anything I like with them without any

pain whatsoever.

Oh. Absolutely. That's what I'm here

for. I'm giving a demonstration at

Harvard Medical at 10:30. I want you to

lend me a key and act as my assistant.

Oh, that's wonderful. Now, how do you do

it, or is that your secret?

>> it were my secret, but the stuff is so

well known, you can't stop them from

recognizing it. I'll just have to be the

father of painless dentistry, and let it

go at that.

>> What is it?

Nitrous oxide, laughing gas.

>> Laughing gas? You mean like they use at

the county fairs?

>> I do, for the entertainment of the

yokels. Well, that's fair.

>> That's where I got the idea. I saw this

lout leaping around and making a fool of

himself and laughing his head off, and

all the time he had a gash that long in

his shin he got falling off the

platform.

He never even knew it. He hadn't felt

it.

That's very interesting.

But how can you work on them when

they're laughing? But they're not

laughing. I give them a little more, and

they fall asleep. But they must be half

asphyxiated. That can't be very healthy.

I had an experience just last night.

>> to be careful.

>> times have you done it? Four times.

You're not ready for any demonstration

at Harvard Medical. What if it didn't

work?

>> It has to work. I'm not going to stand

around while somebody else does this

first. If you don't want to help me,

I'll borrow a key from someone else.

I'll help you on one condition, that we

go by Dr. Jackson's first, and he says

it isn't dangerous.

>> What's that old Morse had know about it?

He doesn't know any more about it than I

do.

Poppycock. What do you mean poppycock? I

tell you I've done it.

>> And I tell you that you're endangering

the lives of the fools who trust you.

Certainly, you can render a man

unconscious by asphyxiating him, or

drowning him, or hitting him on the head

with a door knick. That's no discovery.

Henry Hill Hickman went all through

that. Priestley found laughing gas, and

Humphrey Davy tried all that stuff 50

YEARS AGO. FARADAY EXPERIMENTED WITH

EVERY TYPE OF inhalant he could lay his

hands on. In the end, all these men

abandoned the idea. Do you expect to

succeed where the greatest scientists in

the world failed? Discoveries are still

being made, aren't they? They are not

being made by any half-educated school

boys. You better give up THIS NONSENSE

BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEBODY.

And that goes for you, too, Morton. Go

back to your tooth yanking, and leave

science to the scientists. Thanks.

Nevertheless, at 10:30 this morning at

Harvard Medical School, I will pull a

tooth totally without pain by the use of

the Wells method.

>> The Wells method? The half-asphyxiated

method.

And now, young gentlemen,

we are to assist in a very interesting

experiment.

Dr. Horace Wells of Hartford,

Connecticut and his assistant

are about to demonstrate the Wells

method of painless extraction

on your fellow student, Homer Quimby,

who has volunteered to be the subject.

Are we nearly ready? Yes, sir.

Then if you'll kindly step up here,

Homer.

Yes, sir, Dr. Warren. Don't let them

give you too much of it.

No, sir, Professor Jackson.

Sit right here, Homer.

Now, this isn't going to hurt you a bit,

Homer.

You just [clears throat] sit back

>> Now, don't you give me too much of that

stuff. Don't you worry about that.

All right, I think we're just about

ready.

Now, open your mouth, please.

Now, breathe deep, late.

>> Keep on breathing, Homer.

I'm breathing.

Again.

Once more.

>> [laughter]

[laughter]

>> It's all very funny, but they'll have to

kill me.

Now, behave yourself, Homer.

Homer, behave yourself.

>> [laughter]

>> Now, open your mouth and breathe deeply.

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO? KILL THAT

BOY? I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. Maybe he's

had enough, doctor. Yes.

Okay.

All right.

Hold his head, please.

>> [screaming]

>> That's because he didn't get enough OF

IT. I WANTED TO GIVE HIM MORE UNTIL THAT

OLD MEALY-MOUTH. I tell you this is the

greatest discovery IN THE WORLD. I'M THE

father of painless dentistry. I can

extract teeth or pull them OR DO

ANYTHING I WANT WITH A

>> TAKE it easy. Maybe all you say, but

you've still got to experiment. You've

got to try it out little by little.

You've got to creep before you can walk.

>> I tell you I've DONE IT FOUR TIMES

WITHOUT A FAILURE.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL MIX UP SOME OF THIS

STUFF. GO get me a cat or a dog or A

HORSE OR A LION AND I'LL SHOW YOU.

I'LL GET YOU A RABBIT. YOU'LL LEARN

SOMETHING.

I'll be very glad to, Horace. Believe

me.

Is anybody in?

I'm in terrible pain, deary.

Some faker broke my tooth and then

couldn't yank it.

Could you do anything for me, deary?

Come in.

I suppose it'll hurt something terrible.

It isn't going to hurt a bit.

Come in.

There you are. No pain whatsoever. The

tooth's gone. She didn't move a muscle.

You shouldn't have done that, Horace.

What are you talking about? This is the

greatest discovery She's a mighty funny

color. That doesn't mean anything. They

turn all kind of colors. She'll be all

right. I tell you this is the greatest

>> has this woman been unconscious?

>> I don't know. I didn't notice the time.

She'll be all right.

>> Shut up.

Get a doctor, quick. There's one at the

end of the hall. Get some smelling salts

and some brandy and hurry up with them.

He just dared us to close to it.

>> [music]

>> Give me the three drops of strychnine.

Yes, doctor.

Oh, be careful, you dumb dentist.

This all second. Yes, doctor.

How is she?

I don't know yet.

If she lives,

I'll never experiment with human life

again.

So help me God.

If she doesn't live, you won't have the

chance to. I'll put you both in prison.

The idea of a couple of half-baked

dentists. Doesn't it matter?

It's wonderful, deary.

I never felt a thing.

Didn't take a second, did it?

>> [laughter]

>> Hello, Negro man.

Come here. Negro man.

Come here, Negro boy.

Come on, old boy.

We're not afraid of a little experiment.

Come here, Negro.

Come here, Negro boy. Come here.

Come here, Negro.

Come on.

Come here.

Come on, boy.

Come on, you old boy.

I'm not going to hurt you, old man.

Come on, you old man.

I'm not going to hurt you.

>> [music]

>> Come on, Nick.

Come on, old boy.

That's a good old man.

Come on, Nick. I won't hurt you.

Ah, there you are.

All right, old man.

Come on,

you old boy. Come

Nick!

Nick.

>> [music]

>> William!

Drunk again, I suppose. Who's drunk,

Lizzie? For heaven's sake, what's the

matter with you?

>> What's the matter with you would be more

to the point. You stay away from dinner,

you don't even send word. It was the

baby's birthday, and you don't even

remember. And now, in the middle of the

night, I find you groveling around

>> irritations today without standing any

more from you when I come home tired and

weary. I just want to catch that blasted

dog.

>> YOU DOING WITH THAT DOG? WHAT HAVE YOU

GOT ON YOUR HANDS WITH YOU?

I'LL PROTECT YOU, NICK.

WILLIAM THOMAS GREEN MARTIN, IF YOU HARM

a hair of this dog's head, this is my

dog, you know. I'll go straight home to

mother.

>> a promise?

You brute! TALKING THAT WAY TO THE

MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN.

YOU MAY REGRET THIS NIGHT, WILLIAM

THOMAS Green Martin.

You can't talk that way to Lizzie.

Talking that way to the mother of his

children.

I'll protect you, Nick.

I'll protect [clears throat] you,

William. I'll protect the mother.

>> [snorts]

[music]

>> I'll take the babies.

I will take you.

I will take the furniture.

Because after all, Daddy gave it to me

anyway.

William!

William!

William, I can see you.

>> [screaming]

>> And that's how I hurt him.

I threw him myself when I was asleep.

Take a good look at that, Lizzie.

That's the first painless.

First.

Absolutely.

>> [music]

>> William.

DARLING.

HOW'S THAT? FINE, but underline that

word double. All right, doctor.

You should.

You didn't go to Vernance?

>> No, I went to Broste with a cushion on

Washington Street. And you didn't

mention my name?

>> No, dear.

What's that?

>> [clears throat]

>> A new sign. Completely painless

extractions or double your money back.

Let me do it.

We keep buying at the different places

until I get my patent. This is bound to

cause a lot of talk, Lizzie.

Every dentist in town will try to find

out what I'm using.

>> What are you going to tell them when

they ask you?

>> I figured out a pretty good name. Did

you ever hear of the river Lethe in

mythology? Yeah, I've never heard of

mythology. It was the stream of oblivion

that banished all earthly sorrows.

Lethean.

But are you sure it will work, William?

Why, of course it'll work, Lizzie. I've

tried it on myself I don't know how many

times, and on the goldfish, and on the

cat, and on another cat.

>> Not on Nick.

>> Not on Nick, but if I could have caught

him

>> be rich.

>> How can we help it, Lizzie? I've got the

dental business right by the nose. I've

applied for a patent. Either they get

their license from me or they go out of

business. I can do things in dentistry

that have never been done before. For

instance, the loot. Now, there's a way

of crowning teeth with the loot that's

wonderful, but it's so painful nobody's

ever been able to stand it. All right, I

can use the loot and consider

impactions, the horror of the business.

Well,

Oh.

I'm right in, sir.

You guarantee twice the money back if I

feel anything? I do, sir. Step right in.

I'll take $10 of that bet. You will

never regret it.

Have a seat.

What's this thing? Uh that is the

Letheon, my friend. That is what kills

the pain. I don't like the smell of it.

>> Nevertheless, you'll be grateful for it.

Now, the hat

and if you don't mind

>> My God, that's a very delicate violin.

I'll take the best care of it. Double my

money back if I feel anything?

>> Guaranteed. Now, the towel.

Now,

let's have a look at the tooth.

Please.

AH.

THAT'S IT.

Few moments it'll be just a memory.

Double my money back if I feel anything?

>> money back if you feel anything. Now, if

you'll just put this end in your mouth

and then inhale deeply for a few

moments. What happens then?

>> You will then sink into a gentle

slumber, a sort of catnap from which you

will awake without pain and without the

tooth. And the level? On the level, it's

a little invention of my own. Now, you

hold that, please.

Put that in your mouth. Inhale deeply.

No, no.

Not at me. Just suck it in.

Now.

Now again.

>> [sighs]

>> Now, don't you begin to feel a little

bit drowsy?

No.

Well, then

again.

Double my money back? Double your money

back.

Now, won't you begin to feel a little uh

HERE THEY COME, EYES! COME BACK. HERE

THEY COME, MEN!

THEY COME IN THE WINDOW! READY! AIM!

FIRE!

THAT'S THEM!

THEY'RE COMING!

HIGHER, YOU WOODEN HEAD!

HIGHER!

>> [music]

>> HIGHER!

HIGHER!

HIGHER, WILLIAM!

HIGHER, WILLIAM!

HIGHER, WILLIAM!

>> [music]

>> THANK YOU.

GET HIM UP! GET HIM UP!

AH, SO THERE YOU ARE, GENERAL. I'VE BEEN

LOOKING FOR YOU ALL OVER THE

BATTLEFIELD. You don't have to look any

further. You come after me.

General!

>> [music]

>> You think maybe he was crazy? Well, he

didn't seem crazy when he came in.

Maybe it affects people in different

ways.

You sure you got ether, sulfuric ether?

Of course I did, dear.

Here's the bill.

That's all if you're all through. When

you told me to try ether the other

night, I got a bottle of sulfuric ether.

>> I told you to try chloric ether. Haven't

you any memory at all? You go fooling

around with sulfuric ether and YOU'LL

BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF.

>> WELL, I CAN put myself to sleep with it.

>> What for? How did you do it? By inhaling

it. I wanted to see if I could extract

teeth with it. I was sure I could. I'm

still sure I can. I know it's just

around the corner, but I'm stuck.

Something went wrong. I want you to help

me out. Now, I'll pay you for your help.

>> My regular fee is $500.

I haven't got $500, but I'll tell you

what I'm prepared to do.

Here's a 10% interest in my patent, if

it's worth anything. What are you

patenting? The use of Letheon.

I That's what I'm calling it so the

people won't find out the secret. I

hereby assign to Dr. Charles T. Jackson

1/10 of my interest in this discovery

for his assistance in its perfection. If

I make $500 on this, I'll die of a

syncope.

Now, what is this deep problem,

Professor? Well, the ether's been

working perfectly ever since I started.

And this morning, I gave some to a

patient and he jumped out the window.

THERE GOES MY $500.

Have you a sample of your ether? Yes,

sir.

Where did you get this?

>> Brewer, Stevens, and Cushing on

Washington Street. The trouble with you

is you can't remember anything. I told

you to go to Burnett's. That's the only

place in town where you can get highly

rectified ether. Highly rectified. Paste

that in your hat.

This is cleaning fluid.

You mean that was the trouble?

That was the problem, Professor.

Thank you, Doctor. You'll be a rich man

for this. You wouldn't care to settle

for $50 cash, would you?

Thank you just the same, Doctor.

Are you sure you got the right one this

time? I'm as sure, Lizzie, as anyone can

be sure of anything.

Well, well, I'm glad to see you. And I'm

not glad to see you. I'll have my coat

and fiddle, please, and no horsing

around.

>> Won't you let me explain?

>> I'll have no explanations, thank you.

Just give me my instrument.

>> Won't you let me have it repaired for

you? What are you talking about? Come in

and let's talk for a while. I will not.

You know where I've been for the last 8

hours? In the jug, charged with

drunkenness. Me, who has never touched

anything stronger than sarsaparilla.

Now, give me my fiddle and don't try any

pranks. How's your tooth? I'll take care

of that.

>> Will you listen to me, please?

>> No.

All right.

There's your fiddle.

What did you do to that violin? I'M

GOING TO HAVE you arrested and put You

keep away from me now. I'm going to have

you put in jail. YOU KEEP AWAY FROM ME

NOW. I JUST WANT YOU TO SMELL IT TO

convince you I gave you the wrong

mixture this morning.

>> Well, try it on somebody else.

>> want to try it on you. I just want you

to smell it to be sure it isn't the

same. You remember what it smelled like

this morning? I'll remember it till the

day I die.

>> smell anything like that? Exactly. Well,

it must be drying off. Actually, there's

no similarity at all. Smell it now. It

smells the same to me.

>> How can you say it smells the same?

Don't you notice the faint odor of

peaches? Peaches? Yes, peaches. Can't

you smell that?

>> Peaches? There, I'm sorry. What are you

talking about?

Peaches? Where did you get that smell of

peaches?

>> in no time. Peaches.

Peaches.

I don't notice any peaches. Smells more

like uh

like uh

Why don't you sit down? Don't you start

anything now. No, no, no.

Don't you start anything now. You're the

most suspicious man I ever saw. You

think I care anything about your tooth,

you're crazy. All I want to know is does

this smell like peaches or pears? Now,

give me your answer like a man.

Pears.

No.

Peaches.

Here you are.

Here you are.

Cece is falling off the roof.

I could have sawed his leg off without

his feeling.

Lizzie.

What is it, dear?

If I could make this sleep last, say 10

or 15 minutes longer.

I know that's too much to hope for. No,

it isn't.

I tell you I can do it. You mean build

teeth?

>> Nothing to do with teeth.

I can.

For shame on you.

Hey.

I can.

I'm sure I can.

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

>> Tell the doctor to hurry and dress for

dinner, Roberts. He's late.

The doctor sends all his apologies,

madam, and to the guests, but regrets

that he will not be home for dinner.

>> But he just came in. He sent word,

madam, through the coachman.

Thank you, Roberts. Very good, madam.

How do you feel now?

I feel terrible.

And you know something else? Do you know

how long you were under this time?

I really don't, Doctor. 19 minutes, and

I jabbed you every 15 seconds with this.

Ouch.

I'm getting a feeling I got pin

cushioned. Come on, we'll go right down

and see him now. Get a bite to eat on

the way.

Here you are.

So, THERE YOU ARE. YOU'VE BEEN DODGING

ME AS LONG AS YOU WANT TO WITH YOUR NEW

DISCOVERIES.

>> Go ahead. Go down and get me a cab. I'll

join you in a moment.

Now, what is it? You swindled me. I'd be

a little more careful of my verbs if I

were you, Professor.

>> I'll use any verbs I like, and that goes

for adverbs and adjectives. You

swindangled me into accepting 10% of

this leafy and whatever you call it.

>> You wanted $500. You're going to get

much more. What are you complaining

about?

>> You didn't reveal its possibilities to

me. You pretended to be a poor little

dentist trying to get along, and when I

suggested ether, you

>> chloric ether drops. That didn't work.

>> Maybe I did, BUT THAT'S WHAT GAVE YOU

THE IDEA. Did it give you the idea? I've

known all about sulfuric ether for

years, and why you should come along and

profit by my discovery.

>> trouble with you, Professor, is that

you're a little bit cracked in the head.

You did not discover ether narcosis. I

did. Now, is there anything else? I'll

have 25% of that patent I signed, OR BY

JOSEPH I'LL YOU BETTER TAKE IT UP with

Joseph, because as far as I'm concerned,

you're already getting more than you

deserve. I could have gone any chemist

in the city to find out what I wanted to

know. It happened I came to you. THAT IS

YOUR ULTIMATUM? That means what I think

it means. It is. VERY WELL, SIR. YES,

SIR. WE'LL SEE.

>> WE CERTAINLY SHALL. You know, this could

go on all night. I'm going down to

Massachusetts General to ask Professor

Warren to try the leafy. You want to

come along? YOU MEAN IN A SURGICAL CASE?

DON'T YOU KNOW the difference between a

serious operation and yanking a tooth?

YOU'LL KILL SOMEBODY YET WITH THIS

MURDEROUS nonsense of yours, AS SURE AS

MY NAME IS JACKSON.

>> THEN I TAKE IT YOU DON'T want to come

along.

>> Come along? If you even mention my name

to Professor Warren as co-discoverer

>> Then make up your mind. Are you in or

out or on the fence?

>> YOU'LL FIND OUT, YOUNG MAN.

>> YOU'LL SEE.

>> ALL RIGHT, I'll see.

>> [music]

>> Yes, yes, but Professor Warren is

performing an emergency operation.

>> Then I'll wait. You don't seem to

understand that after an operation, a

surgeon is completely enervated,

exhausted.

>> All the more reason. My dear Dr. Morton.

>> Morton.

Morton. As Professor Warren's assistant,

part of my duty is to shield him to the

best of my ability from the many

well-meaning, well, I won't say cranks,

but let me say uh amateur inventors, who

come here every day with every kind of

Google and Jim crack for every purpose

imaginable. Now, only yesterday

>> But you don't understand. My method's

being used by all my assistants on

hundreds of people all day long. In

dentistry, my dear sir. But what has

dentistry to do with medicine? But here

is the living proof.

>> It was the night of September 30th. I

was IN EXCLUSIVE YES, I KNOW. YOU TOLD

ME ALL ABOUT that when you first came

in. Now, if you will be so good as to

write to Professor Warren, you will very

probably receive an answer.

>> Thank you. You're entirely welcome.

>> in exclusive Very interesting. Very,

very interesting. Yes.

>> I'll push that one off. What the one?

No!

Head.

There.

How do you feel, old man? Uh-huh.

Uh

Too bad.

This part's

It's bad part. I'll do it as fast as I

can.

Wedge.

Try biting on this. Helps a little

sometimes.

Now.

Will you finish up for me, doctor?

Certainly, Professor Warren.

Hating on me, are you? This is no time

to act like a woman.

What's all this?

I guess it was the sound of the

Oh, Professor Warren. Stretch him out.

Let the blood get to his head. I'm I'm

so sorry, Professor Warren. I tried to

keep these people away from you, but now

they seem to have attracted your

attention.

>> Smelling smelling salts.

>> I beg your pardon? Smelling salts,

ammonium carbonate.

Professor Warren.

I've been waiting to see you. If you'll

listen to me, never again will you have

to go through what you've just gone

through in there. As God is my judge, I

swear by all that's holy, you can

operate without pain. I do it every day,

for any length of time you want. Why,

only tonight I had this man out for 19

minutes. He's still out? Yes, but that

was

>> What's your name?

W.T.G. Morton, the dentist. Oh, yes.

Didn't you take part in that fiasco at

the Harvard Medical School?

>> I did. Are you proposing I use that same

remedy?

>> What I'm proposing is something entirely

different. It's been thoroughly tried

out, tested, and proven. Cannot fail and

will not fail. I'm sorry. It took a

moment. They were using it on the

patient. Hold his head up.

Be here Friday morning at 10:00 and

bring your bag of tricks. And you mean

you'll try it?

I'll try it on my first operation.

I don't know how to thank you, Professor

Warren. You don't have to thank me

because I don't think it's going to

work.

But someday, somebody's going to find

something

that must come.

Now, sit him up.

Ah, it's better, old man.

And when that somebody comes along,

I want to be there to open the door for

him. Well, on the night of September

3rd, I was in excruciating pain. So were

a lot of other people.

Everybody kept asking where you were,

and Mrs. Burrows leaned over and said,

"I know exactly how it feels, dear." And

of course, everybody knows that her

husband is the biggest soak in Boston. I

never had such an evening. And of

course, I couldn't understand a word

that really counts all said, and the

mayor's wife kept looking at the silvers

as if she thought it was stolen. And

then, the sherbet came in ahead of a

fish.

That must have been terrible. And for

the finale, you really came in looking

as if you'd been rolling in the gutter.

I guess it was kind of dusty at the

hospital.

They're going to try it out Friday

morning at 10:00. Try out what?

Oh, I'm sorry, dear.

Just think, Lizzie.

It won't hurt anymore.

Surgeons will be able to take their

time. They'll be able to do things that

have been impossible up to now.

People will choose operations willingly

instead of waiting till it's too late.

Suppose it doesn't work, William? And

and people hear about it. Won't it hurt

your business? It will work.

Anyway, that's the risk you have to

take. But why? Why must you take that

risk? You've made a wonderful success.

You've helped so many people already.

Why endanger that?

Did you ever see an amputation?

Something special today?

The old man's going to try another

painless operation.

>> Oh. Give you two to one for four bits.

I'll give you three to one. Who asked

you to horn in? I'll give you 10 to one.

Who said that? I did, and I'll take all

you've got.

Money, you know.

Hurry up. Where are your pliers and it's

8:00 and it's 10:00 after 9:00. Hold

your horses, WILL YOU? IT'S ONLY 9:00

AFTER.

FILL THAT HALF FULL, LADY, AND I'LL MEET

YOU IN A MINUTE.

Add a quarter bottle of it.

Oh, Dr. Morton, just a moment, please.

Not now. I'm just going to tell

>> This is a matter of the greatest

importance. What is it?

>> What is it?

>> About those loops. Do I crimp the crown

a little first or bind it entirely with

the loop? Dr. Morton, about those

additional offices.

>> Don't bother me with things like that,

will you? I've got something else on my

mind. What did he say? He didn't.

Everything ready? We've got exactly 30

minutes. 31. Inhaler's in here. Half

full. Is it tightly stoppered because if

it should happen to leak on the way

>> I better take a look at it myself.

>> I tell you it is.

Beautiful. Now, you can wrap it up

again.

What is it now?

A Dr. Morton, there's a Dr. Horace Wells

to see you. He said he

>> Yes, I wrote to him, but not now. Tell

him Tell him anything you like.

>> Yes, sir. I'm very sorry, Dr. Wells.

Oh, hello, Horace. I'm glad to see you.

I wrote to you because I wanted you to

do some field work for me. I think you

can make yourself a lot of money. Can

you come back and see me tomorrow

morning?

>> here yesterday. You were? I'm sorry, but

I've been so terribly busy.

>> I came as a patient. I said I wanted

some work done, and I asked them to give

me the Morton method.

>> Well, what about it? You stole it from

me, lock, stock, and barrel. You're just

using it differently. Don't talk like a

child, Horace. I'm using something

entirely different. Sorry you feel this

way.

You'll be sorrier still.

I'll never be sorrier than I am at this

moment, Horace.

All right, let's get out of here.

Why, you dumb

Look out.

Can't be helped now.

Use one of the regular ones.

Still got 27 minutes left. 28.

You understand the risks involved in

this experiment, Mr. Abbott?

And you give your full consent?

I do. Thank you.

Gentlemen, the patient is ready for

Professor Warren. He fully consents to

the new experiment. Is Dr. Morton here?

He doesn't seem to be, does he? Well,

we'll give him a couple of minutes.

Count the instruments. I beg your

pardon? I said, "Count the instruments."

Personally, I'm just as glad. I don't

care to see medicine invaded by dental

practice. I echo your sentiments with

enthusiasm, doctor. There are 117

instruments, Professor Warren, the same

amount we brought in.

Strap the patient down.

We were gathered here today,

you to witness, I to perform an

experiment

in which I had, if not confidence, at

least a grain of hope.

We are to try a method advocated by a

young dentist of this city,

Dr. Morton.

It seems that Dr. Morton is OTHERWISE

ENGAGED.

>> [laughter]

>> HURRY. HURRY. HURRY.

COME ON. HURRY UP, MAN.

JUST 1 MINUTE PAST. NO, IT ISN'T. It's

only

>> Don't say it or I'll strangle you. What?

Stranglers.

This is not a minstrelsy, gentlemen.

I doubt that the patient is enjoying

your laughter.

I will work as fast as I can, Mr.

Abbott. Unless you move or jerk or

scream, the better it will be for us

both.

I'm going to hurt you considerably.

I can offer you any consolation that is

that pain carries no memory.

YOU WILL FORGET IT.

HURRY UP.

HOLD HIS HEAD, JOHN.

THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT, JOHN. YES, SIR. [snorts]

WAIT.

>> [laughter]

>> THIS OPERATION SEEMS TO BE ACCOMPANIED

by an unusual amount of levity.

Not that I exactly blame you.

No more, gentlemen. Please.

What's that?

Your patient is ready.

Thank you, sir. So am I.

Don't be afraid. You don't have anything

to worry about. It was the night of

September 30th. I was in excruciating

pain, but I can I tell you I

>> I ain't afraid.

Just breathe in deeply.

That's right.

Keep on breathing.

Time.

Dr. Warren, your patient is ready. Thank

you.

Will he feel this?

He won't feel anything.

Should we hold his head? That will not

be necessary.

The valve open.

Okay.

Tincture.

Now sponge.

Now the next one.

Can you hear me, Abbott?

Yes, sir.

Did you feel any pain?

Uh

I said, did you feel any pain?

Oh, and

When?

Gentlemen,

THIS IS NO HUMBUG.

>> [music]

>> VERY PRETTY. Very pretty indeed, doctor,

but I think the Professor Warren has

forgotten a little rule of the medical

society.

>> Of course.

>> That we shall see him about and remind

him of.

I'm proud of you, too, William. More

than you will ever know.

And if I haven't always appreciated

exactly what you've been doing, it's

only because I didn't understand. I hope

you'll forgive me. There's nothing to

forgive, Lizzie. I'm the one who needs

forgiveness. Can't have been much fun to

have a husband who always reeks of

chemicals, works all night, and never

comes home, forgets dinner parties and

birthdays and everything else a husband

ought to remember.

>> As if any of that mattered.

Thank you, Lizzie.

Anyway, it's all over now.

I've got their painless operations, I

can get back to work. And the first

thing you need is a good night's sleep.

I think that's a very noble thought.

What does it matter so long as it works?

It matters very much indeed. Enormously.

The principle involved is basic. Permit

this one exception and our doors are

wide open to every form of quackery and

charlatanism. When we took our

Hippocratic oath

>> My dear sir,

Dr. Morton is a dentist. He is not bound

by the Hippocratic oath. He doesn't have

to share his discoveries with others.

Dentists all have secrets, and they

don't share them. They're not obligated

to. Nor are we obligated to use their

secrets.

This man wants our endorsement for the

purpose of making money.

Already he's received columns of free

advertising on the front page of every

newspaper, where no dentist has ever

been before. Now he wants more

limelight, a graver operation, more

notoriety to further the sale of his

patent remedy. It's called an interview.

With that one from the New York Herald,

he came all the way. Are you amputating

the right or the left leg? The right leg

above the knee. You're using the regular

Letheon, the same as you use in your

office? There is only one Letheon.

You anticipate any pain, doctor?

Where there is Letheon, there can be no

pain. Do you expect a distinguished

audience? Everybody will be there. Are

you the co-discoverer? Mr. Frost's

contribution has been invaluable. He was

the first patient on whom I operated,

and he's offered himself since for

countless experiments. I cannot thank

him enough. It was the night of

September 30th. I was in excruciating

pain.

>> There's no time, Abbott. I really have

to go. Thank you, gentlemen, madam.

Thank you.

Remarkable. Good day. Good day,

gentlemen.

>> Good day, doctor. Good day, doctor.

No, no, no, it's mine, entirely mine. I

merely allow Morton to use it in his

dental business. Let the papers decide I

just think you don't believe what you

read in the papers. I'll have something

to say about that. Cards, please. No

admittance without your cards,

gentlemen. He came to me of his own free

will. He ran the risk of ridicule or

injury to his business.

>> Don't you think the odds are worth it?

From the pinnacle of your generosity,

Professor Warren, from the loftiness of

your own viewpoint, you're apt to

overlook the meanness and avariciousness

of these little people.

>> [cheering]

>> You mean you intend to ignore the

protest of your colleagues in the

society, the men who put you in charge

of this hospital? You know very well

that I can't. I only wish I could.

What do you want me to do? Ask him what

this stuff is? That's all. Nothing more.

And if he won't tell us?

In that case, we shall have to operate

in the good old-fashioned way. After

all, people have been operated on for

centuries without any assistance from

the dental profession. Dr. Morton is

here, Professor Warren. Ask him to come

in here for a moment.

>> By all means.

Will you step in, Dr. Morton?

Uh uh uh just the doctor, if you please.

>> are.

You wanted to see me, Professor Warren?

A very disagreeable situation has

arisen, Dr. Morton.

My colleagues of the Massachusetts

Medical Society protest against our

operation this afternoon. What? These

gentlemen are their delegates. As you

probably know, Mr. Morton, physicians

may not use nor prescribe patent

medicines, the ingredients of which they

ignore. In other words, they think

you're trying to make money out of your

stuff.

I don't care whether you do or not.

My only interest lies in the fact that

it works. Had me worried for a moment.

Believe me, gentlemen, I've never had

the slightest intention of making money

out of this. Letheon is yours, freely

and in perpetuity.

Not only your property, but that of all

other hospitals and charitable

institutions in this country and in all

other countries.

>> That's very generous of you, Mr. Morton,

but I'm not sure you quite understood

what I said.

Physicians may not use nor prescribe

patent medicines, the ingredients of

which they ignore. Unfortunately, we

still ignore the ingredients of your

mixture. Of course you can understand

why I can't tell you that, can't you,

Professor Warren? It's the secret of my

business, the one advantage I have over

my rivals. If I were to tell you what

Letheon was, in no time at all,

everybody'd be using it.

>> Would that be such a catastrophe? I'm

afraid it might be for me. You see, my

patent hasn't been granted yet, it's

still pending.

Maybe if you'd use the Letheon this way

for a little while, I Later, after my

patent had been granted

>> You could sell it for more money. What?

Why you stuffy little You've been

splitting hairs and robbing your

patients all along as you

>> Stop it.

The ethics of our profession have done

much more good than harm.

They don't happen to fit this case.

That is regrettable.

There's nothing more to be said.

I thank you for your good intention. You

mean you're going to continue to let

people be tortured when it isn't

necessary? That's a very high-handed

interpretation to put on the matter, my

friend.

>> No.

We will share the blame, Dr. Morton,

you and I.

Make the patient ready. Yes, sir.

I shall operate in the usual way.

>> [applause]

>> Sorry to disappoint you, gentlemen,

but this operation will be performed in

the old way.

All right.

And if he faith, he shall be saved.

And the Lord shall raise him up.

And if he have committed sins,

they shall be forgiven him.

A lady of sorrows has watched down over

you, Alice.

And we'll send an angel of mercy

to protect you.

Thank you, Father.

>> [music]

>> Are you girl?

Girl for the

night operation.

Yes, sir.

Honey,

terribly, terribly sorry.

It isn't as bad as it sounds, sir.

Some gentleman has made a new discovery.

And it doesn't hurt anymore.

That's right.

It doesn't hurt anymore.

No.

However again.

>> [music]

[music]