Original subtitles

♪ ♪

Somebody asks you, "Where are you from?"

And you answer, "I'm from Chicago,"

nobody's gonna give you a patronizing response like,

"Oh, Chicago's charming."

Hey, Chicago!

More likely, it'll be, "Wow, Chicago,"

or "Oh, Chicago."

They'll be impressed.

Chicago's a town, a city that doesn't ever

have to measure itself against any other city.

Other places have to measure themselves against it.

It's big, it's outgoing, it's tough, it's opinionated,

and everybody's got a story.

♪ I took a walk ♪

♪ Through this beautiful world ♪

♪ Felt the cool rain on my shoulder ♪

♪ Found something good ♪

♪ In this beautiful world ♪

♪ I felt the rain getting colder ♪

♪ La, la ♪

♪ Sha la, la, la, la ♪

♪ Sha la, la, la, la ♪

♪ Sha la, la, la ♪

♪ Sha la, la, la, la ♪

♪ Sha la, la, la, la, la ♪

I have been coming to the Ale House...

What can the Ale House tell you about Chicago?

♪ ♪

As late afternoon gives way to evening

in Chicago's Old Town, it's time to drink.

Though, to be fair, almost any time is time for a drink

at the Old Town Ale House.

Another favorite of mine is... The difficult ones

are the people who... The chorus assembles

to give their opinions on matters of the day,

subjects of great import to this city on the lake,

this city of broad shoulders, this true metropolis.

But there's... there's no shortage of characters in here.

You know, I've lost a couple really great ones...

John Fox the comic died a few years ago.

We just lost Ruben "Four Toes,"

this 400-pound Mexican guy.

We just called him Ruben, and then when he had

his big toe cut off, then he became Ruben "Nine Toes."

Then when he had his other big toe cut off, he became

Ruben "Eight Toes,"

and then when he had his leg cut off, it changed down

to Ruben "Four Toes."

He blames all his problems on the fact his mother didn't

give him any titty milk.

I mean, these guys, there's nobody coming through the door

to replace 'em.

The Old Town Ale House opened in 1958...

and has been serving beer and other intoxicating

beverages ever since, unless you're on the "no shot" list,

in which case your drinking options have been, for the good

of the community, limited.

There's a "no shot" list?

There is.

The only guy that ever got off it is down there now,

and it was just 'cause he's a peer, and yeah,

we have a fairly extensive "no shot" list.

Fair... extensive, meaning you can drink here,

but no shots for you.

No shots.

'Cause just... that will lead to no good?

History has shown us that these people

should not drink a shot.

Well, now, of course, what they do is

they go to another bar and drink shots,

and then they come over and we get the remnants of...

Right.

Right.

Bruce Cameron Elliott and his ex-wife are the proprietors

of the Old Town Ale House.

Bruce likes to brag that he's never had an honest job,

but he's a writer, legendary blogger, and artist.

♪ ♪

So who comes here?

I mean generally.

Who are your regulars?

I think the most interesting thing about this bar...

On an average night, if you look down this bar

at 10:00 or 11:00, I would say the average age

is certainly over 40... - Right.

Which is very unusual.

It's really what's missing in my life.

I need an old man bar.

Is there a common thread to the... your regulars?

The common thread is... Of our hard-core regulars?

Yeah.

They're basically alcoholics.

Well, I mean, I was dancing around that.

I wouldn't... we don't dance here.

There's no dancing.

The late John Fox, who was my all-time favorite funny man,

he came up with the Ale House handshake.

The secret Ale House handshake was like... in the morning,

which was that.

Right, what do you have to do to get barred here?

You know, punch somebody, probably more than once.

More than once?

♪ ♪

The walls of the bar are covered with his portraits

of Ale House regulars, which he mostly paints

in the basement, next to the beer cooler.

More notorious are his paintings of well-known

political figures who have, for one reason or another,

raised Bruce's ire.

They are inevitably depicted in an unflattering, let's say

non-family-friendly light.

Putin has been behaving very poorly,

let me put it that way.

I mean, but he also intrigues me.

Plus I also have the extra satisfaction

of knowing he would not like what I'm gonna do,

and that... that's... you know, that gives you

a lot of pleasure.

♪ ♪

There is no shortage of opinions at the Ale House bar,

and Bruce's opinions and the scope of his work extends

far beyond Chicago's borders.

♪ ♪

I'm working on... my latest painting is Putin.

Oh, say no more, I want to see.

I would like some advice, because I was thinking

of the classic "Catherine the Great hoists stallions,"

but let me show you... - There's ponies involved?

I love ponies.

Well, let me show you what I've come up with,

because... simply because of the size constraints.

This is... of course, that's our beer cooler and everything.

This is where the magic happens.

Well, this is where... Yeah, this is where

Sarah Palin was painted.

Whoa!

And... Originally I was thinking...

And I'd be very interested in your input.

Originally what I thought was Catherine the Great,

the horses, and he in the receptive position.

But then on the other hand, when I put him in a tutu,

I thought, "I think that I've really uncovered"

the true Putin."

Ballet's very important in Russia.

Right.

And if I painted him naked, that would almost be macho.

Yeah, you don't need the... I mean,

presumably tiny genitals.

Well, I don't think there's any doubt about that.

Um, I mean, look, he's got his shirt off, so already...

That's the important part.

He's universally identifiable, because he really likes

to take his shirt off.

No, he does, and I took his shirt off.

He loves... I think this is an iconic image as is.

- I really do. - I think it says it all.

I was waiting... I'm glad you told me that,

because I think I can go full-steam-ahead now.

I'm thinking pastel... I've gotten pretty good with pastels,

but this might be...

All fans of... the people who follow your blog

and know so much about... You know, I know who fixes

your walk-in refrigerator, I know who fixes the bathroom,

I know who comes in and cleans the floors, and I know

the entire morning routine between Fancypants and...

Street Jimmy.

And Jimmy, and I know so much about all of these people

and just the little... the day-to-day workings,

but do you think there's something to be said

that, like, you know, the trajectory

of your clientele is not... No, it's-

- Does not tend to be... - It's not ascending.

It's not... it's not ascending.

It's not in ascendance, it's... yes, and I've lost

a couple really... I mean, we've really lost some beauties.

I mean, it's the perils of being a saloon keeper, you...

Here's my take on that, bar people do not live

as long as vegan joggers.

However... however, they have more fun.

♪ ♪

In a city of factions... of neighborhoods... black, white,

North side, South, Cubs or White Sox... everybody

at one point or another seems to agree on this place,

Valois in Hyde Park.

Gotta grab your tray.

That's part of the rule here.

Um, I think meatloaf and macaroni and cheese, please.

There you go.

Thank you.

I'll have the white fish, the mashed potatoes, and corn.

I'm very happy about this.

Two of my guilty pleasures on one plastic tray.

Wow, they sure gave us a lot of fish.

So what is... where am I?

What is this neighborhood?

This is Hyde Park.

This is the heart and soul of Hyde Park.

So, if you were running for office,

why would you use this place as your staging area?

What's the social importance of it?

You will see every politician, black and white,

running for city office will

come through here at some point.

Why?

It's just kind of a hangout.

You'd see Harold Washington here a lot.

I mean, Barack... I used to see Barack here all the time,

mostly for breakfast.

The machine that is Chicago politics goes straight back

to emperor Richard Daley... The father, then the son...

With a diverse cast of scoundrels in between.

♪ ♪

How are things in Chicago?

I mean, on the arc of the trajectory... The problem was

that we had this may... The Daley dynasty.

We had the old man, and then we had the kid...

The not-so-bright kid replaced him.

And he threw a party for his friends for over 20 years,

and when it came time to pay the bill,

he snuck out the back door of the... of city hall.

So it's a mess right now, financially.

♪ ♪

The one thing about Chicago is, you cannot get away

with being a fake or a phony.

I mean, maybe somewhere out in one of the suburbs,

but people see through it right away.

That's kind of Chicago.

What other characteristics of a true Chicagoan would be

stereotypically true?

I think you've got to make

at least a little effort to be... not be a pussy.

I think you gotta be a little tough.

I don't think you can just... Not-You can't be a pussy.

Or at least you're making an effort.

Make a little effort.

Just not to just, you know, roll over and... Right.

♪ ♪

Been coming to the Ale House for over 20 years.

I have multiple sclerosis, and I was leaving a rehearsal

from A Red Orchid Theatre, which is my theater company,

which is around the corner, and I came here.

I was really, really tired, and I was talking to Mitt

who's Matt in the blog and maybe three or four other people

at the end of bar, and I-I just remember, like,

falling on the floor.

I heard somebody yell, "She's not breathing,"

and they called an ambulance, and that's kind of all

that I remember, and when I came back a few days later,

like, I walked in the door, everybody was like,

"Yay, you're better,"

and then a couple of the regulars were like,

"That guy... that guy said that thing,"

and I was like, "What did he say?"

And they said, "When you were on the floor"

foaming at the mouth, he said"... he said, like...

They said it got really quiet and he said,

"I'll have what she's having."

So, yeah.

So that was fun.

But I found out later what was really interesting

about it was that right away my mind goes to alcohol.

The American cheeseburger.

It's the sort of feeling you get when you eat it

that you remember you're sitting with a friend

and enjoying a memory that takes you back to long ago

when you were young, and as we follow Paul backstage,

watching him slowly sip his coffee...

Hey, what's going on, Daniel?

You remember that comedy isn't just about laughs.

It's also about... coffee...

And clothes and being yourself.

Do you guys want to run this scene?

Which one?

Transcendence.

And after all, if we can't laugh at ourselves,

who can we laugh at?

I gotta be honest... he usually does it way better.

Oh, come on!

How is it that Chicago has become the...

Sort of the fount of comedy?

You know, it's-it's a gusher.

I think it all started with Second City, and then people

came here to study.

I'd say 90% of the people who are doing comedy right now

came to Chicago to study.

Paul Jurewicz, a young man at the beginning

of what will presumably be a glorious career.

"First you push me in the pool, "now you call me

'ketchup dick.'

"I try to be spontaneous one time and this is what I get.

I feel like no one respects me anymore."

Second City opened in Chicago's Old Town in 1959,

and almost from the beginning established

a probably unhealthy symbiotic relationship

with the Ale House.

You know their names... John Belushi, Gilda Radner,

Amy Poehler, Bill Murray, Chris Farley.

If you're funny in America, chances are you spent

some formative years here, getting the shit hammered

out of you, learning, one hopes, in the parlance

of the trade, to kill.

I tuck my undershirt into the underwear.

So how many times you do it a show?

Per show?

Probably seven times.

Gotta be a cannonball, you know, not like a...

bowl of Jell-O out there.

You know, where are Second City people coming from,

all over?

All over.

Right.

All walks of life too.

I mean, it is, you know, lawyers, teachers with...

You know, servers.

It's all classes.

Well, look, servers... That is a rich tradit...

I mean, one pres... Anytime you find anyone

in the entertainment business, one presumes

restaurant experience.

Mm-hmm.

I used to be a server.

I used to be a cook, I was a sushi chef for a while.

I used to be a Segway tour guide.

- I know too much about that. - You were a Segway tour guide?

Yes.

Wow, you better have a sense of humor.

Paul and I discussed the perilous nature

of a life in comedy over some drinks and food

at Longman & Eagle, where, though the flannels

and neck beards are abundant, the food is excellent.

Beef tartare.

I like that.

And who does not love roasted bone marrow?

Tête de Cochon with bleu cheese and celery relish.

The good Lord wants you to eat this.

Really, he speaks to me all the time.

Confit of beef tripe, and since I'm all about vegetables,

slow roasted cauliflower with caramelized onions

and lentils.

♪ ♪

So, does Second City travel?

Do you have a road company?

There are touring companies... Three touring companies.

They're on cruise ships as well, so I did ten months

on a cruise ship.

Ooh!

Which is ten months of looking at the water and wondering,

you know, "At this trajectory",

would the boat pull me under?"

"If I've had this much to drink, how long before the boat

is out of my sight line?"

- So that's like a prison ship. - Yes.

I mean, 'cause you... you can't... you can't say,

"Fuck this."

I mean, it's real fun for the first two months,

you know, it's a lot of fun, hanging out with the crews,

you know, there's a lot of, you know, venereal diseases

going around... - Right.

And a lot of partying and there's a bar every 2 feet.

And then after you hit the two-month,

and you're like, "I want to go home, Mom, please help me."

Talk about, you know, battlefield conditions

to hone your craft, man.

I respect... that is... Is that... I mean,

is that the idea behind it?

"We're gonna send you out"... The thing that you

take away from it... - You're... When you get back

from the gulag, you will be stronger for it?

Oh, absolutely.

It's your first time getting paid as a performer,

and it's also... the largest amount of people

I've ever performed for was on a cruise ship.

It's 950 people you're performing to, you know,

four nights a week.

Right.

♪ ♪

Places, act one.

How are things?

- Oh, good. - Do I put the game on?

The Patriots are playing the Redskins.

Do we know where the dry cleaning is?

There's no job that you can liken to this job.

What are you trying to say, Mike, that we're some sort

of time travelers?

My hemp business is doing really well.

I think it's on... I only have, like, four lines, right?

Is it a kind of supportive... I mean, comedians

are not famous for... - Standup, specifically,

is more cutthroat.

Why don't we all just calm down here, all right?

I thought that would get a pop, or at least a reaction.

It's too long.

Does anybody know where my socks are?

In the improv community, I think

it's a lot more supportive, because it's a group sport.

Did you say, "community"?

Yes.

Got your back.

Got your back.

Got your back.

- Got your back. - Got your back.

Got your back.

Got your back.

Got your back.

- So what if someone sucks? - Improvise.

What if they're just... they suck?

Your job as an improviser is to make that person

look amazing.

That's how you know if you're a good improviser.

♪ ♪

This was a path of least resistance for me.

It was something I fell into that I loved,

that I just found out that I was relatively good at,

and through a series of mishaps, I found myself

in this position.

Like, if you'd asked me six years ago if I would be

on the main stage at Second City, there's no way.

I would have laughed at you.

So, if this is where it ends for me, I'd be happy.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Maybe the first thing you think of

when you think about Chicago is not

ass-burning Szechuan food, but maybe... maybe it should be.

Well, I think a lot of people come

and they think that Chicago is,

like, on the Magnificent Mile, and you know, they're like,

"Oh, should we go down to Navy Pier?"

Like, no.

Right.

Why?

So it's nice to go out to the neighborhoods,

and there are so many different ethnicities everywhere,

so going to places like that is really awesome.

One of my favorite Chicagoans, chef, restaurateur,

Stephanie Izard from the Girl & The Goat,

and her colleague Peter Wong enlighten me.

Look, I knew Chicago was a city

of very diverse neighborhoods... Everybody says so...

But this I didn't know about.

Now I do.

So where... where... where are we, and why are we...

Why are we here?

I'm... I have to say, I'm really glad we're here,

but... but what... why?

We're at Sze Chuan Cuisine, so after going to China...

We were just talking about that

Chengdu is my favorite place, but Peter's never

actually been to Chengdu.

And so coming back then, it was like,

"Let's go to Chinatown and try to find places

to find those things we ate for breakfast every day."

♪ ♪

Pork dumplings in chili oil.

Start the fire.

Oh, man, they're slippery.

- If you can get one. - You got it? Here.

You know why the chopstick is thin, it's thick and fat?

You can just... just do this.

I thought you're not supposed to do that.

Peter, you're supposed to help me knowing

what's faux pas.

Yeah, so happy.

One of my favorite dishes in the world anywhere...

Mapo doufu.

Yes, a tofu dish, stippled heavily with pork

in a burny, numbing, "9 1/2 Weeks" style exercise

in sadomasochism that will start you thinking some deeply

disturbing thoughts.

Do you know, "Mapo doufu,"

is it because it looks like spotted grandmother,

or did spotted, pockmarked grandmother create the dish?

- Both. - Both?

Yes.

Right?

My mouth's a little on fire right now,

so I think the rice came at the right time.

Yes.

Ooh.

Sounds like we are suffering...

But actually it's delicious.

Here, Anthony, try some of this.

This is my favorite.

This specialty of the house... fish hotpot.

Nice.

All right, here goes.

I scooped off some peppers.

You're going for the best piece, huh?

Yeah.

Oh, it burns so good.

I could pretty much eat this every day.

♪ ♪

It would have to be 1963... The summation was

that I moved to move him away from another customer,

and he backed up and clenched his fist,

and, boy, when somebody clenches their fist, you know,

they're really capable of doing something.

So I got in the first shot, and then somebody grabbed me

by my arms and held me by my arms, and he got

the second shot off, and he re-deviated my septum,

which was a good thing.

But you know, he was bleeding and I was bleeding,

and you know, it was camaraderie.

We all... we hugged and kissed afterwards,

and said, "Oh, I'm sorry."

I'm sorry I did that."

Well, he's dead now.

I don't want to speak poorly about the dead.

♪ ♪

We always lived in the 'hood.

You would hear gunshots in the distance,

you would get to know about gangs, you would see

the graffiti.

The people who you were growing up with playing with

wouldn't be there anymore, and it's like,

"Oh, what happened to such and such?"

And it's like, "Oh, he's dead."

He was in a gang or he got killed in a drive-by

or he got shot and such and such.

Hip-hop artist extraordinaire Lupe Fiasco

grew up on the South and West Sides of Chicago.

But inside, his home was always an island of sanity,

a supportive, creative environment.

Well, what was different about your family?

My mother and my father were very intelligent

and politically oriented and active, so it... it... you know,

I got book smart and street smart, you know?

Floyd Webb is an old family friend.

This is Lupe's mom, Shirley.

As becomes quickly apparent, she is, along with being

an extraordinarily good cook, an extraordinary

and determined human being.

Man, this is so outrageously delicious.

Wow.

The whole time we're eating, by the way,

people are moving in and out of Shirley's small apartment,

the place clearly a hub for a tightly knit community

of friends and family.

So what age were you when you came to Chicago?

I was, uh, 13.

The worst thing that my family could have ever done

was left the South... Was left Mississippi.

We should have stayed.

But this was the land of opportun... here and Detroit and

the great cities of the North.

It was and they came up, you know, then...

We were never hungry down in Mississippi.

We got here, depending on welfare, whatever,

and they became alcoholics, abusive to the children

and wives, and the children came out in the streets,

and just everybody lost control, and now it's...

What was Chicago like when you arrived?

Uh, it wasn't as violent.

You know, the neighborhoods were communities.

No vacant lots, there were families all over,

kids in the street.

You could go outside and play and not worry

about your children.

And somewhere in the late '70s, early '80s,

it started to change and become more violent.

News announcer:

July 4th, two young men gunned down

at a Chicago strip mall.

News announcer:

For more than 50% surveyed... news announcer:

Nine people shot to death and at least 60 others wounded.

However much you might love Chicago, want to celebrate

its general awesomeness, its character,

its architecture, its food, there's no getting away

from the ugly fact that Chicago's South Side

is also currently the murder capitol of America.

Why do you think people are killing each other

in such large numbers in Chicago and not in New York?

Let's be clear, it's only a few spots.

- It isn't the whole city. - It isn't the whole city.

- It's not the whole city. - It's not "Chi-Raq."

To be honest, "Chi-Raq"

is Englewood.

Right.

Look, it's a pretty staggering body count.

The sad part is that it's been like this, right,

and the only reason it's a story now is 'cause white people

looking at it, and it's like, "Aw, that's terrible."

It's like, man, it's been like this for 30 years.

How come it wasn't terrible 30 years ago

when you probably actually could have did something

about it?

Does a hip-hop artist have an ob... any obligation really

to speak about anything positive or even smarter than cars,

girls, or "Where's my money"?

Um... I guess it depends on where you come from,

and then do you feel a obligation to where you came from?

A lot of people in the 'hood won't take me serious.

You know, they don't take Chuck D serious, because at least

you take somebody who's rapping about crack

and rapping about dope, that is a actual thing that

they can go get and sell and make money that day

if they wanted to.

You can't preach to them Black Panther Party or you know,

Marcus Garvey or this, 'cause they can't go out and get it

and actually sell it and monetize and make

some money off of it.

Right. Right.

Right.

Despite an appalling murder rate, questionable leadership,

Chicagoans aren't going anywhere anytime soon.

The Southern people, we brought our spirit here,

so Chicago have, like, a warm spirit and you know,

loving spirit.

It's a beautiful place, it's a genuinely beautiful place

where you have to redefine what beauty is to you.

You go to different neighborhoods and it's really that.

But even in that, there's still a beauty in the people.

And then just from a cultural front.

You know, we got everything here.

You know, we got... if you want Capoeira, we got Capoeira.

You want avant-garde jazz, we got avant-garde jazz.

You want House music, we got that too.

You want... you want just straight finance

and you want to just be a stock market baron,

we got that too, you know.

You want some of the best food that you'll ever find,

we got that too.

So we're a crossroads and we picked up a lot of little DNA

and things from different places on all fronts.

♪ ♪

Start to know people's names...

I've always, my whole life, had very... a lot of difficulty

with these fireplug type guys, and he started looking

like he was gonna start punching Street Jimmy,

who's a guy that hangs around on the street

and comes in here.

And I said something to him, and he came... he made a move,

so I caught him a real nice left-left, knocked him down.

And I never saw a guy make this move before,

but on his stomach, he just went... like, squished over,

hooked my leg, got on top of me, and started whacking me.

And Hawkeye, our doorman, just sat there watching me

being pummeled, and Street Jimmy came over

and grabbed his arm...

♪ ♪

Making a living hasn't really been

what it's been about ever in Chicago.

Keeping the ball in the air is what it's about,

just making sure that things keep going, remain viable

and sustainable.

Nobody's too concerned about making a killing

or becoming a star.

Everybody just wants to keep doing it.

Is that a uniquely Chicago attitude?

I flatter myself by thinking that people in Chicago

care more about what they're doing

than what they're getting paid to do it.

One of the things people have always loved

about Chicago, of course, is the music,

and if one guy has defined rock and roll and punk sounds

for the last three decades, well, this guy, Steve Albini,

would have to be a powerful candidate.

Member of the legendary Chicago punk band Big Black

and one of the most important producers

of underground rock, Albini produced some

of the most influential music of the last 25 years...

The Pixies, Slint, Nirvana, PJ Harvey to name a few.

He takes me to one of his favorite Chicago spots,

Ricobene's, to sample the particularly unholy delights

of the breaded, fried steak sandwich.

♪ ♪

This thing is... - This is a half a sandwich, bear in mind.

That's like 4 pounds.

Yeah.

Wow.

We're gonna need a boatload of napkins.

There's no delicate way to eat this.

- You just hoist it and go. - Yeah.

The time out of the fryer is also critical.

These are still crispy on the outside.

This is precisely the way this sandwich

was meant to be eaten.

Yeah, that is a thing of beauty.

And tasty.

Hmm.

So, you have remarkably... unusual for

the music industry... a remarkably lenient...

views on music sharing.

Your pricing structure as a producer is, you know,

somewhat against the grain of the usual business model.

And you are not living in I.A.

or New York or living on a mountaintop, peeing on the...

You know, peeing downwards from a great height.

What are you, some kind of a communist?

What's... what's the deal?

Well, I mean, I have a healthy suspicion

of capitalism as a method.

I feel like, you know, left unchecked,

capitalism is a kind of cultural sociopathy.

Like, for a business to be successful in capitalist terms,

it has to do the best possible job of exploiting everyone

that it does interaction with.

Mm-hmm.

The endgame of capitalism is that everything

is crappier and crappier and people are

more and more exploited, and I have

a healthy suspicion of that.

So I feel like the social model that I'm comfortable with,

it suits my business practices, which is that we're all

in the same game.

We're all trying to do the same thing.

We just want to make sure that things get better

for everybody.

Is that a Chicago attitude, you think?

Mm, well, in my circles it is, yeah.

In the punk rock scene and the people who are influenced

by the punk rock scene, that's a very common notion,

is that you're not trying to extract the maximum,

you're trying to make sure that everything goes...

Everything carries on.

Is there less "douchery"

in Chicago?

You can find jagoffs... that's a uniquely Chicago word,

by the way.

Jagoff, oh, I love it.

It's been so long since I've heard it.

If you look for 'em, you can find jagoffs

of all type in Chicago.

But the people who are, you know... Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

Productive and content and part of an enterprise

that is, you know, righteous, for lack of a better term...

Right.

They tend to not just give lip service to the notion

of egalitarianism or fairness, but they tend to embody it.

What about the musicians?

I mean, how much money does a guitar hero deserve to make?

Well, all of it, obviously, because that's what

people are listening to.

People are listening to somebody's creative expression.

♪ ♪

Look down the bar, right, and it's... Some characters

you can't write about, and some people...

Around here, nicknames have a sick habit

of sticking to you like glue.

You just... you don't just dodge 'em, you just live with it.

When I used to bartend the morning shift here,

him and this other guy used to come in, a bit crazy

before it was even, like, 8:30 in the morning.

And this one poor guy was here, and they were, like,

on both sides of him, just going nuts,

and I'm like, you know, "That's it, you know,

you guys gotta go."

But he says, "You know, man, you're a real buzzkill,"

and it stuck to me ever since.

I mean, it's carved in stone pretty much.

♪ ♪

Chicago is famously a sports town.

The Bulls, the Bears, the Cubs, the White Sox...

to you and me, those are just names,

but to many Chicagoans, a cause,

a defining lifestyle choice.

The rivalry between Cubs and White Sox fans, for instance,

is particularly vicious.

Difference between a Cub fan and a Sox fan is

a Cub fan goes to the park, they enjoy themselves,

they have fun.

If the team wins, that's okay, if they lose,

it's no big deal.

Sox fan will turn on their team in a... on-on a dime

if they don't... if they're not good,

if they don't play well, if they don't hustle.

That is true.

But a perfect day for a Sox fan is the Sox to win,

the Cubs to lose, and then the Cubs' plane crashes.

So to what do you attribute this quality of deep, deep,

bordering on murderous hatred?

The hatred is basically from the South Side.

Of course it is.

I mean, they hate us like... you have no idea.

We don't have that vicious intent to them.

Why... where... why the viciousness and hatred?

All right, to be around Cub fans is to hate them.

Let's go, Cubbies.

Yeah, baby!

♪ ♪

I just... I can never bring myself to understand

their hatred of us.

Yeah, Cubbies!

Whoo!

Number one.

Yo! Go, Cubs, go! Yeah!

Whoo!

So they're cursed.

Their historic destiny is to be losers.

Yes, and like they say, any team... any team can have

a bad century.

The Cubs are working on having two bad centuries.

Right.

Topo Gigio is a massive Italian-American joint

in the Old Town that serves up much-better-than-you'd-think

old school stuff like scallops in pesto

cream sauce for Bruce here, and squid ink pasta with shrimp

for Buzzkill.

My veal saltimbocca is most excellent,

and the long, festering dispute across from me

only makes my food taste better.

Is Bruce's attitude atypical or typical?

It's extremely... - Or is he a relative moderate?

It's the... It's extremely typical.

I mean, he is sitting at the same table with a Cubs fan.

Well, yes.

No, no, I drink with Cub fans.

I've even had sex with Cub fans.

I mean, no, I... - Well, truth be told,

the last time the Sox won it in '05...

Not that long ago, really.

- I-I-I... - Not that long ago.

- For chrissakes, you won one. - It was this century.

- I've been on this planet... - How about this century

we've already won one?

You know, I've been on this planet for 55 years,

you've won one.

You know what?

You guys are worse than Notre Dame fans.

I wouldn't mind winning every 25 years.

I swear to Christ, you cling onto that.

I mean, look, Chicago's a great city.

Yes, it is.

It deserves to win, right?

I mean... - Thing is about Chicago sports fans,

we got to see the greatest basketball player

that ever lived.

We were winners in our prime.

Best athlete that ever lived.

In our prime we got to see this.

Right.

So now we... We're now holding things up to

a higher standard of excellence.

Right.

Now, here's where the Cub fans and Sox fans join forces,

- to watch the Bear game. - Right.

That's something we can all agree on.

You both hate the Bears?

- No, no, we love them... - No, we love the Bears.

We just want Virginia to just cash in her chips

and just go away.

So let's say... let's say the planets all...

The stars align perfectly for Chicago, in your view.

What does the sports picture look like?

Who wins, who loses, what happens?

Well, first of all there'd have to be some funerals.

- There'd have to be funerals. - Several.

Who would have to die?

I would say the owner of the Bears, and then...

And do you agree with this?

- Yeah, and if... - More or less.

We hate owners.

Yeah, we all are united in hatred of the owners.

Well, I... wish you both luck.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

And I had to do in the morning, so I'd just get up,

and Roger... he was a very fat guy,

always been a very fat guy until, of course, he became ill,

but he was an indefatigable walker.

He loved to walk.

And the reason we ended up here was because

in the drinking society that we were involved in

at the time, there were not many walkers,

but Roger was a walker, I was a walker.

Legendary film critic Roger Ebert

was a man of mythic proportions in Chicago.

A close friend of Bruce, half of the Siskel and Ebert duo,

and a regular at the Old Town Ale House,

Roger passed away in 2013 after a long battle with cancer.

I been sort of conducting an informal poll

over the course of the week, asking people

who Chicago should honor.

If you had to put up a statue,

you know, of the... sort of the... an iconic Chicagoan

who everybody agrees is a good person,

and very popular answer... Roger Ebert.

I would say that I'm a little prejudiced, but definitely

Roger Ebert deserves all the accolades he's been getting,

justifiably so.

Roger's the guy that got me to write the blog,

and he's the guy that gave me the tips.

He was an amazing guy, and I think, of course,

had he not become ill and really handled his illness

in a way that I could... I can't even conceive

of myself handling, I think that that really

kind of set him apart from kind of the other

iconic Chicago people.

The guy... and correct me if I'm wrong...

This was an enthusiast, I mean, this was a guy

who actually liked going to the movies.

Now, this is not always the case with critics.

They don't necessarily love the people

or the subject matter they're reviewing.

Roger loved movies and he loved actors.

If you went over to his house, he would want

to watch movies.

Siskel and Ebert, classic, you know... it's like, that is

an iconic relationship.

They didn't seem to like each other.

They hated each other.

- They hated each other? - Yes.

I mean, they understood what they had,

but a lot of people think Siskel was the alpha.

Mm-hmm.

He was not.

Roger had two things over Siskel.

He was a much better writer and he was much better read.

So, Roger lived principally in Chicago?

Oh, yes, and he had... Believe me, he had plenty

of opportunities to leave.

I mean, he was offered some serious dough to go to New York

and go to I.A.

Why didn't he go?

In Chicago, favors are worth more than money and loyalty.

In Chicago, this is very important stuff.

Roger is one of the most loyal people.

He was loyal to his friends, to his family.

Right.

And I just... I don't have any problem understanding

why he decided to stay here.

♪ ♪