Original subtitles

- Most films from first time or early stage.

Filmmakers have similar problems

and you can feel if something is off,

but you might not know exactly why.

Well, I've been cutting for over 25 years.

I cut for James Cameron on Ghost of the Abyss.

I worked on the Emmy-winning series, HitRECord

with Joseph Gordon Levitt

and I collaborated with Sundance filmmaker Mark Weber

on five or six of his films these days.

I also get hired by directors to give notes on their films.

For example, Adam Bhala Lough

the director on the HBO's Telemarketers, brought me on

to give notes on every episode of the show

before it went to the network.

He was nominated for an Emmy for that show

and he hired me again on his next project.

I do spend a lot of time watching cuts

and I'm telling you this

because when you do that enough, something shifts,

you stop watching like an audience.

So you start anticipating how they will feel

and you take note of it

and you can formulate a plan on how to shape it.

Not everyone can afford professional feedback.

I charge quite a bit for my services,

but there's actually some true value

to look at work from beginning filmmakers

and get some advice from a pro like myself.

So I wanted to try something new.

I asked in my email newsletter if people would be willing

to share their short film

and I would give them editing feedback free if they would

let me put it up on YouTube.

'cause I'm not gonna be sugarcoating anything

and I'm not gonna be polite.

My role here is simple. I am the ambassador of the audience.

So the film that I picked is by Bill Sharkey.

He's the editor producer on the project

and it's called Find Finders Fee.

Let's take a look. I'm gonna show you just

the beginning of the film.

Before I stop and start talking, I want you to sort

of just take in what's happening

and figure out what is the dramatic question

at the beginning of this.

So once again, the film is called Finders Fee

and there's a reason why

You get the idea, right?

He's walking along the park

and he's finding this purse, this handbag,

and it's a bunch of money in there, a really nice setup.

We are 46 seconds into the film.

The film in total is five minutes 43.

So that's actually a real nice length for a short film,

but I do sense that it is a little processy

and repetitive. We as an audience, we get it faster than

how the story unfolds here.

We are really just waiting to cut on the beat again.

The shot lingers too long.

I think we could make this

up to here and then we could actually go

to the bench right here.

Let's just give that a try. Why not? Let's do some editing.

Huh? So I wouldn't mind having the audio

actually be here.

I'm just gonna move the other audio out of the way for now.

So it still sounds like the music just keeps on playing,

but to me this would be in terms of the pacing

and the speed of what I want the audience to

not be excited about.

This feels to me like a much better cut right there.

And I just did it like in one like it it,

I already feel like this is a pretty good cut.

Just let's watch it one more time

and see if you agree

that the pacing is actually much better.

Could be maybe even a little tighter.

You only have a certain goodwill bank

with an audience in terms of

how much time you can really take to tell a story.

At some point the audience is gonna just be bored

because no new information is being presented

to the audience and I can sense

that this editor was just waiting for the music

to decide when to make the cut.

And it does two things.

First of all, you establish a pattern

where the audience is gonna anticipate the cut.

That may not be a good thing.

I hate music videos that are just very consistently on the

beat, every cut

because then you kind of just anticipate the cut

and you're less surprised by what you're seeing.

The other reason is like pacing should be organically of

what does the audience really need emotionally

to understand the story.

We gotta get rid of all the process going from A to B.

If the audience doesn't need that to understand the story

or the emotion, we kind of want this shot to be what it is.

So by having the first shot be too long,

you've already spent a lot of that good will

because we need the shot to be this long.

He needs to cross it

and then he needs to come back

to see this bag.

I wouldn't show the shot.

We're giving the audience more information than they really

need and it becomes less interesting.

That's why I wouldn't cut to this shot.

There's no real reason to cut to this angle

because this angle says, look over here, this matters.

I think what would be a more interesting way is to go

from this shot directly to this shot

and extend the head of the shot a little bit.

So have him stand in front of the binge

and then drop the coffee

and we're not knowing why he's dropping the coffee.

Maybe we haven't yet understood

that there's a bag there even better

or we know there's a bag there,

but we don't know why he's dropping the cup

of coffee at this point

because whatever he is looking at must be quite shocking.

So that would be my note to the editors,

like try getting directly to this shot

and we can try that right now with what we have.

I'm gonna just extend the audio here

and see if maybe we won't notice this audio

jump so much.

I like the music quite a bit actually.

It really helps with the tone of this film.

Yeah, it almost works. I would even get rid of this shot.

I would go straight to this shot,

clean up the audio a little bit.

It's tricky with the music so it's probably

not gonna be perfect.

Okay, before we get into all this,

so far we've tightened this up a bit

and it's gonna help the film.

If I had one more suggestion

for the editor/director is I would actually look

for another take where

our hero walks faster.

It feels a little acty.

I would've asked the actor

to just walk like you would normally walk when you walk in

the park and you got a Starbucks,

but make it maybe even a little faster than you would

actually do in real life

because this shot takes a long time for him to come back.

Maybe we can get into this shot even while

he's already here.

So let's just clean up the audio

feels a little bit better I think.

Which by the way, when I give notes to professional director

or editor in that cut, I will just type out the notes.

I will not make the cuts for them. I wouldn't dare.

I would just try

and formulate my thoughts about how I feel about this

and then I would suggest maybe an edit.

Okay, so let's keep watching.

Okay, this, it's a lot of business.

Ooh, I love this with a bird. That's a happy accident, huh?

Except, birds aren't real so they're probably just flew it in

we're at 1 minute 15 seconds.

Okay, I see why they went through the trouble

of really showing the minutiae of what we call the business,

the stuff that actors do with their hands

and the process of him retrieving the money, then

going through the actual wallet to find the driver's license

and then contemplating what is the right thing

for him to do.

Love the fake bird. Just takes too long.

We can really optimize this

and make this more exciting for the audience.

Yes, they need some of this but they don't need all of this.

But then what's happening here?

He put this money in his pocket.

We can immediately go to this right here.

So let's clean up the audio again

and it feels like a smoother cut.

I'm just roughing this

and he needs to grab the wallet.

And we're seeing this, we're seeing this,

we're seeing this.

This is the shot that we need to land on,

but we need to lose one or two shots here.

And this is where professional editors often are more

radical when it comes to that cutting.

They're not worried about continuity.

We see the driver's license in the wallet.

How does he get it out of the wallet? We don't need that.

The audience is smart enough, they can connect the dot.

Let's go like this. Boom.

And we just need like an audio transition here.

I would just like have a little shoot.

Perfect. And now he's contemplating.

He's contemplating, he's contemplating.

And we could be out here. We don't need this.

We don't need this. Let's, let's keep this in

for fun right here.

We're gonna cut on the action.

The action is not the continuity of the action.

It's actually a new story-turn, a new beat.

Not working yet, but we're gonna try and massage this

and then we can be out of the shot right here.

He is more contemplating.

We don't need as much contemplating.

I think it would be better to just walk away

and do all the contemplating in the shot.

It's beautifully composed.

The DP and the director had a great idea in terms

of the storyboarding to do this out of focus

and the scene is over.

Good. No, no,

no.

Yes. Okay, so this is the moment we love.

He's walking away

and this is the thing with early stage filmmakers,

they're hesitant to cut shorter.

Shorter is "gooder". Don't take as much time.

If you think it's just right, make it even shorter.

Why do we need to see this?

We know that he's standing in front of a house, we see this.

Don't need this. Sorry. We go in here

because what we need is this.

It's too much. Why don't we go like this?

He leaves and then we go back in here.

Let's move out the edit here.

We know, we know.

I would leave this, go out straight to the shot.

I know I'm being radical.

I'm just seeing it and I'm calling in as I see it.

Usually what I do is I watch a film one time.

I don't take any notes, I just watch it and I take it in.

I start thinking it's marinating, then I watch it again

and I start typing the notes as I see them.

I'm now kind of in that stage right now.

I'm already reacting to how it should be cut.

So going forward in this scene, I'm first gonna show you

what happens next and see how you think it plays

and what are some of the things that are maybe draggy

or the performances are a little soft.

We always, as the editor, have

to protect performances when we can by taking lines out

or shaking things up,

cutting away from the actors when they're talking.

Whatever we can do. And we'll do that in that next scene.

Okay, so we're gonna go from this and,

and you may disagree with me on this by the way, this cut,

but I would suggest to not overplay the joke.

'cause again, it's the same emotion that he's giving us.

He's contemplating, he's, he's like in a dilemma.

- Can I help you? - No.

- Well what is it?

- I think I have something that belongs to you.

- Oh, you have my purse. Acting is quite good so far.

- So I did the right thing and brought it back.

Got your address from the ID inside. So here.

- Thank you. That's very kind of you.

- Good?

- Oh is there

a finders fee?

- finders fee. - Yeah, it it's just

that there's a lot of money in there.

- I just put the kettle on.

Why don't you come inside for a cup

of tea and we can talk about it.

- Okay, end. The scene is over.

We don't need to wait for the door to close. Okay.

How did that scene feel to you? Leave a comment.

Let me know right at this moment, hit pause and just write.

This is what this scene needs.

I'm gonna go back and I think it's all there

but it's too much again.

And there are some lines that are not that strong.

Some are strong and some are not.

First of all, there's process editing here again,

he's reaching out for the doorbell.

We're cutting to the doorbell, we're cutting him,

releasing the doorbell.

That is classical beginner editing.

We don't need all of that.

So why don't we go like this?

There's even a double action in here.

Like he's pressing and pressing again.

Let's just have him turn here.

It might even be better if we go

on the action here.

I would try and make that work.

Maybe extend the doorbell on this shot,

but it's not quite working.

But it's an interesting idea to immediately have them

hit the doorbell and then say, ah, I, I'm leaving.

This is, this is a bad idea again.

We're going through the motion from A to B2C.

He's walking away, she's opening the door. Can I help you?

- C an I help you. Changes his mind. - No.

- What is it? - I think I have

something that belongs to you.

- It's not terrible.

But I would try a version where she looks, he walks away,

we cut to her again, confused,

and then he comes around the corner.

So the decision is on him.

Not because she said, Hey, come back or can I help you?

It's not a big deal and it's fine the way it is,

but it feels a little like I'm not very surprised

about what's happening.

Maybe it's just a matter of can I help you?

- Can I help you? - No.

Have him just walk away

and there's this awkward pause cut

to her maybe looking at him again

and then he comes back and says,

- I think I have something that belongs to you.

- Oh, you have my - Purse? Yeah, I found it on a bench.

- This is good. - So I did the right

thing and brought it back.

This is good.

- Got your address from the ID inside. So here,

- Thank you. That's

- good.

- That's very kind of view.

- I don't know if we need this pause.

I think it works. Oh,

- Is there a finder's?

fee finder's?

- Would not have her say finder's fee. I would just have her

look like this.

- Yeah, that be, it's just

that there's a lot of money in there.

- I'm doing a little bit

of a an J cuts overlapping the audio.

- Is there a finder's fee?

It's just that there's a lot of money in there.

- I just put the kettle on.

Why don't you come inside for a cup

of tea and we can talk about it?

- I again, I mean I know I'm making the short film a lot

shorter by doing this, but I think the

better play is here.

- A lot of money in there - Just contemplating what he says.

The music keeps playing and then we cut to the next scene.

You get the idea, right? The reason why I don't want

to play this whole thing out is it just kind

of evolves in a way that it is quite what I would expect

and, and I get

to play these scenes out when it is fun and entertaining.

But I do think

that it can be stronger if we tighten things up

and having the audience connect the dots more.

And that's really exciting for storytelling in terms

of the narrative arc to not resolve scenes

and let them peter out and fizzle,

but to keep the tension right at the climax

and then carry it through to the next scene.

And this is what we're doing here.

- I think I have something that belongs to you.

- Oh, you have my purse?

- Yeah, I found it on a bench

so I did the right thing and brought it back.

Got your dress from the ID inside. So here,

- Thank you.

That's very kind of you.

- Oh, - Is there

a finder's fee?

This is a pretty nice place. You must be doing okay.

- That's okay. - What - Exactly are you

hoping for here?

- This is good. - Let's be real.

This is a, a big pile of cash

and I think it's a testament of character to return it.

I mean not everyone would've done what I did.

- I'm good with everything.

Just one question about the framing of the shot.

It feels like the camera should have come down

as she sits down to reframe for

what would naturally be the composition you would usually

have for a shot like this,

but maybe the director has intentions with this composition

in the sense that it feels off

and that could be a good thing.

- Let's be real. This is a a big pile of cash

and I think it's a testament of character to return it.

I mean not everyone would've done what I did.

- And do you expect to be compensated for that? Well,

- Yeah, wouldn't you?

- How do you like your tea? - That's okay.

- Lots of cream, lots of sugar.

- It could be a little

tighter in terms of the editing. You know, I have

- To say the thought did cross my mind

of just not returning it at all.

- I don't know if we need this ADR line here.

- You know, I have to say the thought did cross my mind

of just not returning it at all.

- This is good. - I mean it's not every day you come across

a bag full of money with no one around.

- Both of these lines are not very well written lines.

I would take them out,

- Tell the contractor we had a hiccup

and we have to set up another drop

and no witnesses.

- I'm struggling a little bit

with her delivery of the lines.

- No weaknesses. - This is too on the nose.

- Yes ma'am.

- And he doesn't have to respond. I'm sorry.

The other actor has one line and I would cut it.

What I would keep from this is tell the contractor it's

exposition and we need to know that this was supposed

to be a drop, but it's too much exposition.

We can definitely, yes ma'am, take this out and go to here.

- Tell the contractor we had a hiccup

and we have to set up another drop

and no weaknesses.

- And I just had that damn carpet cleaned.

- Hey, how's that tea coming along?

- Okay, the ending actually needs the most work.

I think there's a lot of exposition,

there's some soft performances.

The hitman's just not as strong

and I think he will be more dangerous

and more vicious if he doesn't talk.

So that's easy to fix. The beginning part here.

I think this needs the most work by saying less

because we already know what's happening.

We know he's in trouble at this point.

All we really have to understand is that this bag was a drop

and it failed and now he's in trouble.

And that's a perfect payoff for the short.

- Hey, how's that tea coming along?

- Well done Trevor and William, thanks so much

for sharing this short with me

and I hope you're gonna be okay

with me giving you those notes.

Take it or leave it. I could be wrong.

First of all, you have a story that works.

You have a strong dramatic question

that's being answered in this short film.

It's simple idea. It's entertaining to watch.

And even if I wouldn't have done any of these suggestions,

the short still works clearly.

Once again, I'm really happy with the story.

I'm also really happy with your lead actor

and she is good in parts,

but she also has moments where she needs a little help.

And most of the time writing is overwritten.

We get it anyway. The subtext is quite

clear what's going on.

We don't need to know everything.

And then finally, just really become more aware of process.

I know the way it's written, you want to edit it

and you want to show every little step,

but it can get quite tired some to watch that

through as an audience.

But it can be tighter and tighter is gooder.

As we say in editing audience member, you watch this,

you have a short film, you have a scene, you have something

that you're editing or

that you've written yourself directed, shot it.

Feel free to send it to me. Leave a link.

If people are interested in this type

of video getting feedback from me, I'd be happy to do more

of these and hopefully this is of value for everyone.

Happy editing and cheers.