All language subtitles for Taskmaster (NZ) - s01e07 - An Intervention_eng

Ta-da!

Oh!

Nutsack!

All right!

Welcome, friends, to the
seventh episode of Taskmaster.

My name's Jeremy Wells,
and I am the Taskmaster.

Many months ago, I invited five
comedians to attempt a series of tasks

I left for them at
a secret location.

All of these tasks were designed
to test them in unique ways,

and none involve any transferable skills
they can bring over into real life.

At the end of the season, one competitor
will be crowned Taskmaster Champion,

and they will receive
this majestic head,

which they can surgically implant onto
their neck or just put on a bookshelf.

Let's introduce our contestants.
They are and always are

Angella Dravid

Brynley Stent

Guy Williams

Leigh Hart

and Madeleine Sami.

And to my left, a man who is in many
ways the receptionist of Taskmaster,

nothing would get done without him.
It's Paul Anthony Williams.

♪ It's the musical ♪

♪ episode, ♪

♪ where we sing
instead of talking. ♪

No, we don't.

♪ Yes, we do. ♪

No, we don't.

♪ Yes, we do. ♪

No, we don't.

We don't.

We don't.

Paul, using your speaking voice,

please do us the honour of
introducing this week's prize task.

Sure thing, Jeremy Wells.

Each contestant was asked to bring along
something to contribute to our prize haul.

This week, we're after
quite a specific prize-

the worst thing to
show the Taskmaster.

- Ooh.
- Ooh.

The Taskmaster will
decide which prize is best,

or in this case, the
worst thing to show him,

and that person will
get five points.

The person with the most
points at the end of the show

will walk away with all
five things. Capeesh?

Is that to me?

- Yes. Capeesh?
- Yes, capeesh.

Who's up first? Angella.

I brought a book

that's filled with comments of
what Taskmaster's going to be like.

It's a bit- yeah.

So that's- that's one comment.

'Won't be as good as the UK one.'

'They chose someone who
isn't remotely funny.'

That one's anonymous.

Oh, there's another one.

'I'm sure he's a nice guy,

but I personally think he is a reminder
of how New Zealand needs to move on.'

Oof.

It's gonna be interesting to
see the scoring tonight, Jeremy.

It's a good start to this prize
task, you've gotta say. Leigh.

Yes.

- What did you bring in?
- I don't think I can match that.

Look, I know you are a history fan, so what
I've brought in is a bit of memorabilia.

It's this camera from
the Hillary expedition, and

this may have dick pics
from Sherpa Tensingon it.

So you're assuming this is
something that I don't want to see.

At this stage, yeah.

Well, I think it's a good
thing that you don't

see it, but they haven't
been developed yet.

I don't know if they're on
there. I'm just guessing if

they were gonna be
anywhere, that's where they'd be.

And who knows.
I think it's best.

It's like Pandora's Box.
We leave that one shut.

So it's up to you
what you do with it.

The power's in
your hands, Jeremy.

Guy, what have you brought in
that I don't wanna see?

My biggest fear is that people
find out what my pillows look like

when they don't have
the pillow cases on them,

cuz they are, like,
absolutely horrific.

And so what I've done, bravely,

to win this task, I've actually pulled
out one of my pillows

and brought it along today.

That's right. You hear that
reaction? That's first place, baby.

Mads, do you think
you can beat that?

I have brought in for you today

something I found in
my mother's garage,

and that is approximately
300 fossilized daddy long-legs.

So that was just a disgusting
thing. I hate spiders,

and I'm hoping that you
hate spiders as much as I do.

Madeleine Sami, Te Karere.

Brynley, what did you bring in
that I don't wanna see?

I wrote an email to a
very close personal friend,

and I've got a
lovely video for you.

Hello, New Zealand.
It is I, the Taskmaster.

I've been asked to send a video
saying what I think of Jeremy Wells.

Well, I'll tell you what
I think of Mr. Wells.

I think he's doing a good job.

Or I did until I got this
video request, because

it's a contestant
attempting to humiliate you.

You gotta clamp down
on these people, Jeremy.

Clamp down on them.

They're not there to have fun.
Do you understand?

They're just comedians.

Shut them down and make them work.

I'll leave it at that.
Don't make me come to New Zealand.

Gotta say, there's some pretty
confronting stuff in there.

- Mm.
- But I will take Greg's word for it there,

and I will come down hard on you,
and I'm gonna give you one point.

Oh, mate!

When I saw the video, I
thought that would happen, so...

- Mads, I actually love spiders.
- Aargh, fuck it.

I love spiders,

so you get two points, cuz those
things are amazing for the ecosystem.

- Three, Guy.
- What?!

Well, I actually would
quite like to spend a bit

of time on your pillow
just for a couple of nights.

I could think of
worse places to be.

I think you two are becoming
the Paul and Angella of the live show.

Well, he's certainly fuckin' me,
that's for sure.

Like, it's crazy. I got an
audible groan from the audience.

This guy brought along
some op-shop camera

and a bullshit story,
and he's beaten me.

You got three points.

You should be happy with
that. You normally get one.

Yeah.

Uh, Leigh, so you
go and get four points,

cuz I thought yours
was quite good,

and then, of course, Angella,
whoa, that was brutal.

That was brutal. I mean, I don't
even have an internet subscription

because I don't wanna read comments
about me, so don't bring them in.

That is the last thing I
wanna see, so definitely,

Angella, you get five
points for that. Well done.

All right. Early scores, Paul.

Well, that puts
Angella in the lead,

and if the Taskmaster
hasn't seen enough already today,

we now have to
show him some tasks.

Mm. I personally think tasks
are the best thing to show the Taskmaster.

Ok. Let's play one, then.
And this one is all about...

I'm not really sure. I wasn't there.

Ooh!

Paul?

Where's Paul?

Yeah, Paul's not here. Great
Great start to the day

Paul!

Find Paul.

Well, that... that makes sense.

'Find Paul and hit him with this
Frisbee.' Great. This is a dream.

'You may not walk or run
while holding the Frisbee.'

'Every time you
throw the Frisbee,

you must put on an
additional item of clothing.'

'Fastest wins.'

'Your time starts now.'

Oh gosh. I don't
know if he's outside or not.

So hard.

So, they're trying
to hit you with a Frisbee.

Yes. And the smart thing to do would be
to find me first without the Frisbee,

then return with the
Frisbee to minimize Frisbee

throws and minimize the
clothes you have to wear.

Did anyone actually
do the smart thing?

- Maybe let's have a look.
- Ok.

Yeah, I think let's have a look
at Guy Williams and Leigh Hart.

Find Paul and hit him
with the Frisbee.

You may not walk or run
while holding the Frisbee.

Oh, so I throw the Frisbee
and follow the Frisbee.

Slightly confusing again.

Oh! I just spend all my time just
trying to figure out what the question is.

Every time you throw the Frisbee, you
must put on an additional item of clothing.

Oh, I hate this, eh.

So I just run around
looking for Paul? Paul?

Paul?

Paul?

Paul?

Paul? I don't really care
to find him either.

I'm like, 'Oh well, if he's
lost, he had a good run.'

He wasn't really contributing
much to the show anyway.

God, he's good. Damn, he's good.

Paul! Come out here!

I'll fight you!

Shivers. I'm sorry about that.

The Frisbee is going
to guide me to where Paul is.

Fuck. That's, like, the main
place I've searched as well.

All right. Put on a wacky hat.

Continue my quest for Paul.

That takes me back. Ok.

Paul!

Please!

Ple-e-e-e-ease!

Sorry to the sound
man about that one.

Actually, not sorry. Fuck
you for making this shit game.

Ah! I see him. It was the first
place I was going to look, actually.

I didn't think you'd be that stupid
to come down here. It's too obvious.

Hey, Paul. I found you.

Good to see you, mate. How'd
I not find you earlier? All right.

You might wanna switch
the cameras off, cuz as

soon as I get to him
with this fucking Frisbee,

I'm gonna physically assault him.

Fuck.

Ooh, here we go.
This is a nice little number.

I went out there with a
game plan - find Paul.

And I'm executing
it to perfection.

These are quite cool
shorts, actually. I might

steal these just
for my personal life.

All right.
Try and hit Paul in the tree.

It's gonna have to be a big throw.

Damn it.

Fuck.

Don't take it personally.

I did it.

Hoorah!

Now I leave with my dignity.

Haven't got a spare
one of those, have ya?

I can pour you one, yeah.

Always tastes better
when you earned it.

So, Guy, you honestly thought
that you left with some dignity.

After watching back, no.

That was honestly one of the
worst things I've ever done.

It was so long and so boring
and so hard.

And there was no prize at the end except
meeting my own brother sitting in a tree.

I sat in that tree for
42 minutes and 56 seconds.

And this might be giving
away too much, but no one

took longer to do any
other task that we will see.

Oh my God.

- Well done.
- Hey, you get a clap.

A little side note as well - when
he pushed over that suit of Armour,

it cost production $654 to repair
the damage done to that.

To be honest, there's just a
few too many fun-filled threats of violence

coming from you for my liking.

I think you're learning a lot
about yourself in this show.

I feel like this has stopped being a comedy
show and started being an intervention.

- Brynley, he is learning nothing.
- If anything, I got dumber.

How many minutes did Leigh take?

Leigh took 26 minutes
and 27 seconds.

- Oh, so it's a lot better than Guy.
- It is, yeah.

Who will hit Paul
with a Frisbee the fastest?

Find out this important information
and at least four other things

when Taskmaster returns
right after some ads.

Welcome back.

This is Taskmaster.
When we last left you,

five talented comedians
were battling it out

to see who could hit Paul
Williams with a Frisbee

the fastest and hardest.

Anything to add to that, Paul?

Hitting me hardest is not part
of it, but apart from that, spot on.

The aim of the game is to find me
and hit me with a Frisbee.

Only catch is you can't
walk with the Frisbee,

and every time you throw it,
you have to put on clothes.

Like strip poker, but
reverse, and there's a Frisbee,

and I'm there,
and I'm in the tree.

All right. Enough about that.
Who are we watching next?

It's the first two alphabetically,
and seating arrangement-betically.

It's Angella and Brynley.

Oh, ok. So I can't be
holding the Frisbee.

Ok. Ooh, shit!

That was not meant to happen.

♪ Din-na-na-na-na, na-na. ♪

So I can kick it.

Paul!

All right. Back that way.

Well, it doesn't say
I can't crawl anywhere.

Ok. Here goes.

Paul?

Damn it!

Paul?

He wouldn't be under there.
He likes to be clean.

Ok.

Paul!

Marco!

Polo.

Oh!

Damn it!

Is this the only task today?

Oh!

God, that gave me
an absolute horrible fright.

- Hello, Brynley.
- Stay there, Paul. I'm getting my Frisbee.

I found him! He's so scary.

He looks like a little ghost girl.

Oh, ok.

Hello, Angella.

- Hello. How are you?
- Good, thank you.

Ok.

Is that walking?

It has the word 'walking' in it.

Ok, this is- this is crawling. That doesn't
have the word 'walk' in it.

- What are you doing?
- Just having a picnic.

- It's really pretty here.
- Yeah. I like it.

- Thank you, Brynley.
- Thank you, Paul.

Oh!

Thank you, Angella.

It was a task; I didn't
just hit you randomly.

- I know.
- Yeah.

What do you mean by Paul
looked like a little ghost girl?

He's got a certain, I don't
know, spirit about him that...

Very pretty boy, aren't you? Yeah.

So, Angella hit me in
19 minutes and 57 seconds.

Brynley, 16 minutes, four seconds,
so that's currently the time to beat.

Well, I wanna have a chat about the way
that Angella transported the Frisbee.

You know I don't really care about the
points. I'm not really about the points.

But it's going to be very
interesting to see how

you interpret both those
efforts, to be honest.

Because, I mean, if you
put, say, a Frisbee in a

bag, then you would be
still carrying it in a bag.

So if you put it down your top,
you're still carrying it.

Yeah, I thought I was wearing it.

Cuz you don't carry a bra.

I actually think Angella
should be disqualified for this,

cuz I think I think she carried- I
think she carried the Frisbee with her.

Why are people groaning for her? She's in
the lead, and she's blatantly cheating.

I'm gonna have to agree with Guy on this
one. It's not about the points, though.

All right, one more task,
then, is it, Paul?

We have one more competitor, yes,

and that is Madeleine Sami.
16:04 is the time to beat.

I may not walk or run.

Didn't say anything about
riding a bike, did it?

Paul!

Paul!

Paul!

Oh, this is quite good
to get my exercise in, actually.

I might just
set this to outdoor cycle.

There he is!

Ooh, shit. Ooh, these brakes
aren't very good, guys.

I'm gonna have to go a bit off-road.

- Hello, Madeleine.
- Hi.

- Thank you, Madeleine.
- Thanks, Paul.

I'm just gonna go- cuz I'm only
done two minutes of my fitness ride,

so I'm gonna try and
get a bit of fitness in.

Whoo!

Wow! I take my hat off.

Oh, why, thank you.

Smart thinking with the bike,
Madeleine.

Yeah, well, I don't know if
I've talked about this enough,

but I was dux Ludorum,

which was the dux of sports, at
Onehunga High School in 1997.

And I was trying to get
some fitness in, which I did.

And once again, the shed of hope
prevails. You gotta go to the shed.

You gotta go to the shed.

- How long did Madeleine take?
- Madeleine took 8:57.

- Well done.
- Thank you.

Very good. Very good.

- 34 minutes faster than Guy.
- Ok, how are the scores?

Well, it depends. Are you
going to disqualify Angella?

Yes.

What about Brynley
with her crab walking?

- It was very short.
- When he told me off, I changed.

- She did change it very, very quickly.
- Yeah.

I feel like I got
a problem with this.

Me and Leigh are here
playing by the rules.

Look, you didn't
come last in this.

Yeah, second to last.

- Yeah. That's better than normal.
- Yeah.

So, how did we go
there in the end?

So, zero points for Angella.
One point for Guy.

- Whoa!
- Oi! Shh. One.

Three points for Leigh.

Four for Brynley. And five for
our winner, Madeleine Sami.

Fitness.

And how does that effect
the overall scores?

We have a two-way tie between
Madeleine and Leigh on seven points.

Now, Paul, I can think of only
one thing that will make this day better.

I feel what you're putting out.
It's time for another task.

Cooee!

- Hello, Madeleine.
- Hi, Paul.

How's it goin'?

- Good, thank you.
- Good.

Ooh! It's a bit of a mystery.

- Do you want me to open the suitcase?
- Yes, please.

Ok.

Have you hidden the-
some sort of trick here?

No.

- Trick suitcase?
- Regular suitcase.

Is the challenge
'open the suitcase as quick as possible'?

- No. There's those two round bits,
- Yeah.

...push those outwards.

- Ooh. It's like a trick suitcase.
- It's a regular suitcase.

No, it's trick.

Everyone who comes and
does this must struggle with that.

Ooh!

And all that just
to get one thing.

Ridiculous. Ok. Here we are.

'Go on the most
convincing fake holiday.'

'Most convincing
fake holiday wins.'

'You have 30 minutes.'

'Your time starts now.'

A fake holiday.

A reminder, of course,

that these tasks were filmed
before the COVID-19 pandemic,

and now all holidays
have become fake holidays.

If anyone would like
a non-fake holiday,

it's time for a real
holiday from this show.

It's three minutes long, and it's amongst
the tropical surroundings of an ad break.

We'll see you shortly.

Welcome back to Taskmaster,

where five comedians are fighting head over
foot to win Guy Williams' manky pillow.

Paul, just how are
they going about winning?

Right now, the task is
to go on a fake holiday.

Ok. Where are we going first?

You may have heard of this
guy. It's not that Guy, it's That Guy.

Leigh Hart.

I mean, why fake?
Why not just go on a...

It'd be quite hard to go on
an actual holiday in 30 minutes.

- Don't know about that.
- Where would you go in 30 minutes?

Always wanted to go on
a caravan sort of holiday.

You stay where you are,
though. I'll have a think

and see what I can come up with

on that front.

Leigh?

Leigh?

- Yeah, mate?
- What's going on?

I thought you could
do with a bit of holiday yourself, mate

just getting away from all this.

Different perspective, you know?

Beautiful. That's the spot.
That's the spot.

What are we doing?

Like I said, I thought we'd
get you away from it all for a bit.

Thought we could catch
up, get to know each other a bit better.

Have a seat
plus a couple of beers.

- There you go, mate.
- All right. I don't drink.

Oh, ok.

I mean, would you call
that a fake holiday or

just a real one that only
lasted a few minutes?

Oh, it's like sex, isn't it?
Is it fake? Is it real? Who knows.

I enjoyed it.

Well, actually, once
you actually arrived,

you seemed like you enjoyed it. You didn't
seem like you enjoyed the trip much.

Yeah, the trip was stressful,
but... yeah. It was quite short.

We holidayed about 150 meters
away from where we were.

Who else have you got for me?

I call her the Holiday Inn,
because she's always holidayin'. She's...

She's like holiday...
It's Brynley Stent.

- All right. I've got a good idea.
- Ok.

- Road trip.
- Ok.

Road trip!

Road trip!

Gate, gate, gate.

- Gate, gate, gate.
- Oh, I swear...

We're going on a quintessential
Kiwi road trip all the way to Bluff, baby.

Um, yeah, I want it to be the
quintessential road trip movie. You know?

- Mm-hm.
- Got your music playing.

Do you know what else is a
quintessential road trip thing?

Yelling, 'Live while we're
young,' out of an open window.

Yeah!

Live while we're young!

Sorry.

There's a man there.

Oh my gosh. Look at the
beautiful New Zealand scenery.

Makes me appreciate
this country even more.

Oh, whoa! There's the
Lemon & Paeroa statue now!

Oh my God, Paul, and there are the
Tirau corrugated iron dog and sheep.

Whoa! It's the Beehive!

- Wow.
- Hi, Jacinda!

♪ 99 bottles of beer ♪
♪ on the wall. ♪

♪ 99 bottles of beer. ♪

Look! A dairy! Hey, Paul. Do you wanna
pull over and grab an ice cream?

I know where we are. This is Bluff.
We made it to the end of the South Island.

Oh, nice.

Ice cream! Ice cream! Ice cream! Ice cream!
Ice cream! Ice cream!

It seemed like you had quite a good time.
It seemed like a chant-based holiday to me.

Yeah, there were a lot of chants.

So, did you have a good time?

- I did, yeah.
- Yeah.

Had to buy my own ice cream,
but that's fine.

Ok.

I didn't bring my wallet;
he bought mine too.

- Classic. That's classic.
- Yeah. Yeah.

Right, who have we got next?

Up next, we've got two similar approaches
from Madeleine Sami and Guy Williams.

We're gonna do a kind of
Christian camp holiday vibe.

You're in charge of taking
the Instagram pics.

And, uh, first stop -
kayaking merrily down the river.

Whoo!

Just wanna get a few little angles.

Here I come.

Heaps of shots.

Also, what's in this water, eh?

Like, is this water health and safety-
like, a health and safety issue?

- Can I borrow your pants?
- You wanna borrow my pants?

- For a golf style, yeah- golf shot.
- Ok.

It's just more golfy if
I've got some pants, that's all.

Always the tongue out, eh, on
like- in Instagram pose. Like...

♪ Friends are like flowers
in the garden of love. ♪

All right. I'm gonna get these
all ready for Instagram.

Ok, now what do I gotta do -
post it?

And tag in the location - Coatesville.

Coatesville. Is that a
place people go holiday?

'Living life to the fullest at Coatesville
Christian Camp.' #SponsoredPost.

I'm not sure how convincing
my hashtags are.

#holiday

#kayak

#river

- Thank you.
- Thank you, Guy.

And thank you to the
Coatesville Christian Camp.

No mention of God on...

any of your moments of your holiday
at all at the Christian camp.

I didn't say I was Christian; I
was just crashing a Christian camp.

And not only did I have
a great time at the Christian camp,

but I also took those photos
and actually uploaded them to my Instagram.

Yeah, let's have
a look at the posts.

I got three shots.
That's the first one.

Me having a great
time fishing on the river.

And then also me just
chilling at the end of the day,

- having a jam...
- Oh, nice.

...with no mates,
much like my normal holidays.

And this got 1,700 likes
on Instagram,

including a few people saying it
was 'an amazing holiday'.

Shall we have
a look at Madeleine's?

There you go.
Went with a classic Shaka.

I did feel very bad that some dear
friends who aren't in on the joke,

like Jaquie Brown off the television, went,
'Oh, yeah, I love kayaks.'

- She also had the musician Benee.
- Oh!

The actor-comedian Aubrey Plaza

- from Parks and Recreation.
- Whoa!

- And All Blacks first five Richie Mo'unga.
- Richie Mo'unga? Wow.

That's quite good.

I am so fuckin' famous.
I don't need this show.

See ya later, everyone. I'm gonna
go hang out with Benee. Sorry.

For Guy's likes, I just wrote
'mainly 14-year-old boys'.

Sick. I'll take it.

Who's left, Paul?

We have one more trip,
and it's Angella Dravid,

and she's kind of made a travel blog kind
of vibe. I'll show it to you. Here it is.

I'm waiting for the train, and, uh...

Oh, this is it here.

See you.

Aargh!

Aah!

Yeah.

I gotta say, as this
series has gone on, your

acting has just gone
from strength to strength.

For me, that train sequence

when you were waiting for
the train, and then you went on,

that was a very high
standard right there.

Would you like to see
a little behind-the-scenes magic?

- Oh, give me more of that. Give me more.
- Ok.

How are we gonna make
this look like a train?

You could just say you're
waiting for the train.

I'm waiting for the train,
and, uh...

Oh, this is it here.

See you.

You need to get movement. So...

This is great.

Do you want me
to make sound effects or...?

Yeah.

- Right. I think that's all. Yeah.
- Pardon?

- That was it.
- Ok.

This kind of looks
like a plane window.

We've got a flight. We've got a train.

Passport. I don't have a passport.

- Ready?
- Mm-hm.

Yeah.

- You happy with that?
- Yeah.

Ok. Thank you, Angella.

Wow. So, I think we've
gotta score these, don't we?

Yes.

For me, Mads and Guy, I think
one point each. I think it was ok.

What??

- Ouch!
- But I think they were too similar.

And also I'm just concerned about
what's happening at the moment.

I wanna send a really, really
clear message to our young viewers

around what to do around
fake Instagram posts.

I think people have gotta be very careful
of social media in the current climate.

Leigh and Brynley, I think you
guys deserve three points each.

I think going on a holiday - a real
holiday - was quite something.

And I think Angella, to
be fair, five points for you,

cuz that was quite a
video that you put together.

After all this holidaying,
we've deserved a break,

so let's take one. We'll
see you in a few minutes.

Welcome back. I'm still Jeremy
Wells, and I'm still the Taskmaster.

Tonight, we watch in awe as five
competitive comics battle it out

to take home a picture of spiders
from Madeleine Sami's house.

Paul, I was just thinking during the ad
break I would love to see another task.

I'm glad, because I have one for you,
and it features some little guests.

Aw.

Hello!

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- Hello, Leigh.
- Hi. How are you going?

How's it going?
Sorry about whatever this is.

Ok. I'm just gonna read this task.

'Paint the Taskmaster.'

'Your painting must
trick the Taskmaster'

'into thinking it was
painted by a 5-year-old.'

'Your painting will be
compared with this 5-year-old's painting.

You cannot
look at their painting.'

'Best painted portrait that
tricks the Taskmaster wins.'

'You have 10 minutes. The child also has
10 minutes. Your time starts now.'

Ok. Arlia, we've got
some painting to do.

Nice to meet you, mate.
What's your name?

- Leah.
- Leah. Oh, I'm Guy.

Do you wanna shake my hand?

No? Ok.

Here we go, Leah. All right.
Your time starts now. Let's do it.

So, the way this works -
each contestant is paired

with a child. Both of
them try and paint you.

After each pair, we'll show
you both paintings, and

you guess which one is
painted by the contestant.

If you guess wrong,
you've been successfully tricked.

Right. So we're about
to look at some paintings

of me by five comedians
and five 5-year-olds.

I have just thought of 10 worse things
to show the Taskmaster right there.

First up, we have Madeleine,
Leigh, and Brynley.

Well, I'm not a very good artist, so I
don't think this is gonna be very hard.

I can obviously look at Paul. Ok.

- You c- You can look at me.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Ok.

Ooh, so delicate. I feel like maybe he's
better than I'm giving him credit for.

- I'm not looking at his painting.
- What are you looking at?

- His brush.
- His brush is very close to the painting.

I just saw the brush. I didn't
see a thing of the painting.

Watch yourself, Sami.

Are you much of a painter, Leigh?

I painted our wash house
recently, but, um,

wife came home and changed all
the colours again. You know?

Had to restart, then she got a guy in.
Bit of a waste of time in the end, but...

Braxton, what do you wanna
be when you grow up?

- A pilot.
- A pilot?

- Yeah.
- That's a great choice.

Can I give you a piece of advice?

Oh, no? Ok. Fair.

20 seconds left.

I've kinda wrecked it a bit
with my final touches, but, um...

You're looking at me a lot.

Time's up.

How do you think that went?

Must be like how da Vinci felt if he woke
up and just finished the Mona Lisa

if he'd had a massive night
and was extremely hungover

and power-chundered all over it.

But, um, yeah, no,
I'm happy with that.

How do you think you've gone,
Madeleine?

I dunno. I just really
wanna be Ben's best friend,

and if we both didn't have
to concentrate as much

as we had to in that task,
we would be best friends.

Hey, good luck with the piloting.
Don't become a comedian.

- He didn't ask for your advice.
- Savage, Paul.

No, he said he didn't want it.

You should get into
comedy. It's a lot of money.

I think he's painted me.

Yeah, he's painted me.

He was supposed to paint him.

Aw! It was so cute.

- Ok. Let's have a look at them.
- Up first, we have Madeleine Sami.

- Oh.
- Whoa!

I'm gonna say that that one
there on the left is Madeleine's,

and that one there on the
right is the 5-year-old's.

Let's see.

Yup. Ok.

- Not bad, though. Not bad, Mads.
- Maybe I am quite artistic, hey.

- Let's take a look at Brynley's.
- Ok. Ok.

Ok, this is good, Brynley.
This is good. This is good.

Whoof!

Oh my goodness me.

That one's Brynley's, and that yellow one
is the 5-year-old's. That's my guess.

You are...

- correct.
- Oh! That was hard.

- We got any more?
- Yes, here's Leigh Hart.

Oh, for God's sake.

Even Leonardo was not
painting like that at 5.

That's clearly Leigh on the right,
and that's the 5-year-old on the left.

Although, you gotta say - nice
painting, the one on the left.

Don't be fooled, Jeremy,
by what you see there. I mean...

I think the fact that you've
painted Paul is a dead giveaway.

Yeah.

To be fair, I didn't
quite understand the task.

Who are we going to next,
God help us?

- You ready for some more painting?
- I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

- What was your name?
- Quinn.

Mine's Angella.

- I already know that.
- Oh, ok.

Does Leah know
what Jeremy Wells looks like?

- Leah, have you seen Seven Sharp before?
- No.

No, you haven't, have you?

So, just to be clear, the task
is to paint the Taskmaster.

Are you painting the Taskmaster?

No?

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
Looks like old Guy's in trouble.

- Hey, have you drawn clothes?
- I'm drawing a strawberry.

- Oh, ok.
- It's pink and red.

- What other colours is it?
- It's pink and red and white.

Leah, who's your
favourite princess in Frozen?

Elsa.

Elsa? Oh, Elsa's
great. Do you like Moana?

Who's your favourite Moana in Moana?

- Moana.
- Moana! Yeah!

All right!

I guessed that.

- Do you have some black on there as well?
- Yes.

- Great.
- Why?

Oh, just making sure
that we match.

30 seconds.

Your painting must
trick the Taskmaster

into thinking it was
painted by a 5-year-old.

How old are you?

I'm 7.

You're 7?

I heard you were 5.

- Are you lying to me?
- No.

- Leah?
- No.

Leah, how old are you?

- I'm 10.
- You're 10! Well you're getting older now.

How do you think you've done,
Angella?

Um, I think I've done terribly.
I've got a strawberry as well.

- Thank you, Angella.
- Thank you.

Thank you, Leah. Bye.

What are we gonna do next?

That was a smart play
from Angella there.

Do you manipulate
children often?

She was so harsh. It was
like being in... high school.

She was 5.

Yeah, but she had that,
like, Mean Girls thing.

Shall we take a look
at Angella's painting?

Yes, let's have a look
at Angella's painting.

Ooh! Ok.

Wow. All right.

Well, I mean, this
painting on the left

has got quite a lot of artistic
merit, to be honest.

I- That's yours, Angella, that one
there, and that's the 5-year-old's.

That is...

- incorrect.
- Ohhh!

Shot, Ange.

I painted with my left hand

because I wanted it to look like
someone who was struggling.

I didn't realise that she
was an artist.

- So, what about Guy?
- Here's Guy's painting.

That's good stuff.

That's you on the right there,
Guy, definitely - a giant head in a frame.

- That is correct.
- Yeah.

Well done.

Well, I actually thought that

your painting partner was
not as mean to you as Guy's.

Guy's painting partner,
she wouldn't shake his hand.

First rule I learnt as a kid was
never shake an unknown man's hand.

I wasn't unknown. I'm Guy!

- Yeah, but everyone's a guy.
- Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, I'd definitely be
sus about an old man that

said to me, 'Who's your
favourite Moana in Moana?'

And, let's be honest, you know,
you had just been on a Christian camp.

Ok, so the scores are -
Leigh you've- one point for you.

- Thanks, mate.
- Cuz yours was quite something, actually.

- Brynley, two points for you.
- Oh!

Guy's... not as high-quality,
so that gets three points.

Yes!

And then Mads with four, and then
Angella with five. Very well done, Angella.

That is the end of the
fourth part of our show.

We'll be back with a
100% child-free live task

to cap off the evening.
We'll see you soon.

Welcome back to episode seven
of Taskmaster.

We're all dying to find
out who gets to walk home

with Guy William's
manky old pillow.

Paul, do tell us who is in the lead.

Currently in the lead with
15 points - Angella Dravid.

Very close, though. It's anyone's game,
except for Guy, who's on eight points.

But will Angella Dravid hold
on to that lead after a live task?

Let's find out by
heading to the stage.

What is going on here, Paul?

Jeremy, what's going on is I'm
about to ask Brynley to read a task.

- Brynley, would you please read this task?
- Yes. Gladly, Paul.

'Sculpt the third most impressive dog.
You may only use your sculpting clay.'

'The third most impressive clay
dog wins. You have 100 seconds.'

So, it's just your classic impressive dog
sculpting competition.

So, the winner will receive
five points,

and by winner, I mean the person who
makes the third most impressive dog.

And then does it go
down from there, so-

No. Five points for the winner;
none for anyone else.

- We're all on the same page.
- Yep.

- We're all ready to sculpt.
- Yep.

- How long we got? How long we got?
- You've got 81 seconds.

What are you thinking, Guy?

I'm thinking I was born to
do this, and I'm ready to win.

You don't wanna win;
you wanna come third.

Shit.

Have you sculpted
many dogs before?

I have, actually. I used to run
a sculpting course for people,

and this is one of the things
we used to teach them.

You've got 45 seconds to go.

- Looking not too impressive, Madeleine.
- Thank you.

15 seconds.

5 seconds.

The audience were really pumped for one of
them. They were like, 'Ohhh!' What was it?

- I think it was Leigh's dog.
- Leigh's.

In this task, you don't really want the
audience to be pumped for you at all.

I'm ready to gaze upon some mildly
impressive dogs. Come on down.

Take a seat, and let's find
out who made the best dog,

then give that
idiot zero points.

There were some pretty middling dogs
in that lot, weren't there, Paul?

- Yes, there were. Here's the first dog.
- Ok. It's...

So, this is Angella's dog.

That looks like it came
out the arse of a dog.

- Ok. Who else have we got next?
- Up next, this is Brynley's dog.

So, that's either an Afghan
hound or a standard poodle.

Yeah. Yeah.

- Here's Guy Williams' dog.
- Awwww.

Well, that for me is West Highland
terrier, absolutely through and through.

- That's pretty good, I reckon.
- Well, that's not good.

- What about Leigh Hart's effort?
- Here's Leigh's dog.

It's a beagle wearing goggles.

Oh God, it's screaming.

It's like, 'Kill me!'

- Madeleine Sami's effort.
- Yeah.

Well, you don't want it
to be too good, do you?

So, I reckon the best dog,

- out of that lot...
- No.

- ...is Guy Williams.
- No! No! No!

No!

- That's only fair.
- Mine was so bad!

- Aw, it's cute. It's cute.
- It's cute.

I think the worst dog
would have to be Angella's,

- Oh, wow.
- to be honest.

It's more like a crocodile. It's
some kind of amphibious creature.

Slightly faecal. I don't know.
That's not a dog for me.

Ok, so that's best and
worst. The second best dog,

fair to say is
Brynley's dog, which, to me,

looks like quite a nice standard
poodle or Afghan hound, as I said.

I can't help my artistic talent.

Ok, so, we've got second.

Who is third - that is the question.

Just to add a little more tension, the
winner of these two will win the episode.

Ooh!

Ok, I need to see Leigh and Madeleine's
dogs again, I think. It's only fair.

- Is that dog better than...
- Yes!

- It's definitely Leigh's dog, isn't it?
- Yeah.

Leigh, you've won this.
Congratulations.

So where does that leave us overall?
I'm talking long term here.

Currently in second place -
Madeleine with 108.5.

And in first place is
Angella Dravid on 113.

Wow. Huge.

And who has won our
episode tonight, Paul?

He nicked it with one point
on the last task - Leigh Hart.

What a rewarding hour
of television it's been.

We've learned that
overseas travel is possible in 2020,

you just need
a Bunnings lawn chair.

We've learned that children paint
like children much better than adults.

And, yes, we've learned
that our winner for episode seven

is Leigh Hart. Congratulations.

Some terrible prizes await you,
Leigh.

Go revel in your haul,
and most importantly,

get those prizes out of
my sight. Good on ya.

We'll see ya next week.
Thanks for joining us.

'Get someone you went to
primary school with on the phone.'

'Fastest wins.
Your time starts now.'

Guy Williams has the massive
advantage of sitting opposite his brother,

who, surely, he went
to primary school with.

Who'd I go to primary school
with who I still know now?