Original subtitles

Thank you so much. That was actually really fun.

Was it?

Yeah, no.

Yeah? You like shopping for undies?

Is that fun?

I like shopping in general.

I mean, the undies were part of it. Better than staying at home and watching

games?

There's no game on today.

Anyway. I wouldn't know.

I know. You hate sports. I know, I know.

But I'm just, the point is, what I'm trying to say is thank you.

I have, like, I've already learned a lot, and I feel, like, a lot more

about it. That's great.

I'm glad that you feel confident.

Here you go.

Yeah, no, I'm going to put these.

I'm actually, you know, I wonder if I need to. You're going to go put them on,

right?

I mean, I'm something more like for my, for like when you're going to help me

get a date and I'll wear these on my date.

How do you get a date without profile pictures?

Go put them on.

For my dating profile?

Yeah, take a good camera. What kind of person puts naked pictures of her

underwear?

Pictures on their DM profile.

The kind that gets laid, which I guess is why you don't know.

Put them on.

I don't think I should take a picture of myself.

How are you going to take pictures of yourself in your underwear, Sam?

Here,

come on, go.

Go put them on.

Hurry up, Sam.

I'm not just going to hang around all day.

Is this how you're going to take all your pictures of you holding your junk?

How should I pose?

I don't care.

Do a ballerina thing.

Wait.

Wait, no.

Oh, my God.

You look like if Clark Kent was a bottom.

No, I like it. It's good. I mean,

they're inside out, Sam.

They're inside out.

Turn them around.

Close your eyes.

Okay, I'm fine.

Oh, sorry.

Okay, that's better. That's better. That's how they go.

Okay. All right.

Really just like to touch your cock? Is that what you like to do?

No. Oh, or did you not want me to see that? Hey, hey. What?

What's that?

Don't touch it. Does it leak?

Does it always do that?

There you go.

Turn around. Let me see the back.

Yeah, that's cute.

You know what you look like?

You know the water babies where the dog comes and pulls it down?

It's a good look for you. I like it.

Oh, gosh. Okay. No, I'll take pictures. I'm going to take so many pictures, Dan.

Don't you worry. So many pictures.

Okay, let me just open my camera up here.

Oh, not live Twitter.

No, not that.

I'm so not sure that you're able to just pull out a dating profile.

Gosh, I don't know, Sammy. Are you more like a grower or a shower, would you

say?

Wait, what are you talking? Wait, don't talk about.

Don't talk about what?

The elephant in the room?

Should I not say anything?

Can you hear us?

Just... You are... I'm already embarrassed to be doing this. Why are

talking? Does being embarrassed agree with you? Because it feels a little,

What's the word?

Tumescent?

A little bit?

I mean, it's just... I think it's like the tight underwear kind of like... Oh,

they're just tight? They're just tight? It's like they're kind of like...

Squeezing it?

Ah! Is that what it's doing?

Sammy?

Look, it's pulling it apart so I can see in the sides here.

What are you doing?

Here, let me see.

Wait, we can't put that on a public dating program? I'll just make it my

screen. It's fine.

Look at that. You can totally see all your stuff in there. Sammy?

Aren't you embarrassed?

I didn't even take a picture of that.

That's good. Just like that.

Oh, that's perfect.

Look at how cute you are.

I like that.

I feel like it looks good from the back. You can't always tell that you're

getting chubby either.

Well,

would you say that's what that is?

Yeah. I mean, I guess it's kind of.

I mean, there's not such a thing as skinny, is there?

No?

You keep covering it up. Look at it. It's cute.

It's blue like that. It does look like a little elephant, doesn't it?

It's cute, Sammy. I like it. You're going to get so many dates.

I think you're going to go put my pants on now. Girl, do you like average?

That's not as big as it gets, though, is it?

I mean, no.

No, it's not as big as it gets. Make it as big as it gets. Okay, these can be

the ones that you send the girls to message you back.

Wait, no, I'm not going to. What do you want me to do? No.

Make it bigger.

I'll do it when you're not watching.

Just do it. Who's going to take the picture? I need to get, like, a low

it looks bigger.

You know? Like, you've got to, like, really get down there.

Put them in.

See? So that it, like, looks.

Better. I guess. I mean.

You guess?

Who knows more about what growth is like? I'm not going to touch it in front

you. You're not going to touch it? Do you need help? Is that what you're

Well, no. Wait. You don't know how to do it?

You don't know how to do it?

That's okay.

I mean, I thought that you did it a lot. I just kind of assumed.

But maybe I was wrong.

Huh?

Was I wrong?

You're just kind of staring at me. You look like a scared little baby deer.

isn't what you're like during, is it? No.

No? I'm just surprised.

You're just surprised?

Is that a surprise, owner?

Or half of one, anyway.

Sammy, is that it?

Does it look rough? Does that look better for it? I watch porn and guys are

always beating their dicks all over girls' faces.

Is that what you think it's like?

No. No?

What do you like, Sammy?

If you can't even tell me, how are you going to tell some girl on OkCupid?

Huh?

Yeah? Well, what do you like? I asked you a question.

Ow. Huh?

I like hand jobs. You like hand jobs?

You like blowies? Yeah?

Yeah.

Well, why don't you just think about that?

I mean,

that's okay.

That's... Huh.

I mean, you know, I mean, this is... This isn't the big iPhone, even, so...

Well, here's what. Why don't you go try on the other ones?

I don't think we need to do this anymore.

Why?

Should I go shopping with you and help you pick out undies just so that we

not use them?

Did I waste my time, Sammy?

Maybe it's just wait until it goes down. Did I waste my time, Sammy?

Did I waste my time?

No? I didn't? No. Then show me. Okay, all right, go on. Come on.

I don't. Come here.

I don't think these.

I don't think these fit.

I don't know.

No, that's perfect, Sam.

That's perfect.

I'll just get you some little tiny panties and it'll make your cock look so

bigger, won't it?

I mean, you didn't tell me about this situation, did you?

Do you really just want me to say it?

Do you really just want me to tell you?

I can't believe that I'm the first girl to say this to you, Sammy, but you kind

of have a small dick.

Am I really the first girl to tell you?

Didn't you know that you have a cute little cock?

I never put it like that. Did a lot of girls tell you it was a good size?

Yeah.

Is that what they said?

Did they tell you it was a good size right before they told you that they

of you as a brother?

Look at it.

It's adorable.

We're going to have to make up for that, though.

Do you know what we call this?

A liability.

A deal breaker. It's on the line. You told me if I shaved it, it would look

bigger. It does look bigger.

It does look bigger. And your little panties make it look bigger, too.

Are they panties? I thought they were. I mean, no, they're, you know, brief.

They're brief.

Sorry, flip of the tongue.

They're definitely not panties.

Panties are what girls wear.

And they're little clips, huh?

Not on their big, strong cock.

I'm sure that there's other stuff that you can do, right?

You're going to start doing some push -ups, huh?

Yeah. Yeah, develop this upper body so you can get your foot in the door.

We talked about a gym membership.

Yeah, we did talk about that. So I guess you're going to have to get that second

job to afford it, huh?

Yeah, that's just how it's going to have to be.

Oh, gosh.

I wonder what else you can do.

Whoa. I wonder if there's anything else that you can do here, Sammy.

I think I'll work.

Is that it?

Is that it? You just kind of look at it?

I'm doing you a favor, Sam.

That's okay.