All language subtitles for My 600-lb Life S13E06

I'm the oldest
but my younger siblings
taking care of me.

I'm the oldest
but my younger siblings
taking care of me.

That's what really
bothering me.

Somewhere in me
is this little glimmer
of hope.

I just want to be
a normal person.

You can't do it
and then I just get mad.

If I don't make
a change now,

I'm scared
it's gonna be too late.

No, sweetheart.

I refuse
to stop fighting.

I have to do this
for my children.

Ow.

Trying to get myself
motivated to come
see you.

It's "I don't care."
It's always "I don't care."

-Shaun, you got yourself
in this predicament.

I dread waking up everyday
in this body,

because of my weight.

That's the main reason
my life is hard.

I just wanna be free.

But I'm trapped
in this body.

It makes me wish
that stuff was different.

But right now,
this is my life.

My sister Diamond,
we argue, fight
like any other siblings.

She is in her
own little world,
I'm in mine.

That one's mine.

Okay.

That's my bro.

That's my shiny-poo.
I call him my shiny-poo.

I feel like he needs help
with everything.

For one, his health.

And then, the motivation
to actually care and get up

and do something.

I don't know what
can motivate him.

Like, I'll tell him,
"I'm not here to judge you.
You're my brother

but you got to do better.
You got to at least try.

Put an effort in it.

'Cause you can't have
somebody rooting for you

when you're not
rooting for yourself.

I'm here for him
as much as possible.

Diamond!

Oh.

It's stuck.

Helping bathe him,

it's kinda tough.

It's kinda awkward.

You won't get
close with me.

I'm not washing up
my mom or my dad.

I'm washing up
my big brother.

So it's like,
my little big brother.

Washing him up
is a little awkward,

but nobody wants
nobody around smelling

or have a stench.

Like, if he needs
any type of help,
I'll come and help

because with his hygiene,
I've literally watched him

go months without
even touching water.

But that's my brother.

And I don't look at him
no different.

Oh.

-Got it?
-Mmm-hmm.

Yup, now.

All righty.

There we go.

I do like the
store runs for him

and sometimes I'll go
get his food for him,
if he needs it.

Sometimes I cook.

Whatever he needs,
I'm there,
I'm there to help.

-Hey, Shaun.
-Yeah, Maa.

I'm coming in.
-Okay.

How you
feeling today?

-All right.
-That's good.

-What you been doing?
-Nothing.

Chilling.

-Here you go.
Here you go.
-Ooh.

Yay. Thanks, Di.

-You're awesome.
-You're welcome.

I'm trying to get him to
let go of the spoiledness,

so he can try and do
things on his own.

All my life, food has been
a comfort to me.

Mmm, my household
growing up wasn't bad,

but it wasn't good,
you know what I mean?

My mom used to do drugs.

My dad, he got locked up
when I was around

four and a half,
fiver years old.

And, so, I felt like nobody
was there to protect me
or help me out.

So I just felt like
nobody loved me.

And then, with my mom,
I know she cared about me
and loved me.

Well, my step-dad,
he used to call me slow,
dumb, fat.

So, I would focus
on my friends
and not him.

Staying out of the house.

When he was only
seven or eight,

we got into a heated argument
with the step-dad.

My family just wanted
me to leave

and he didn't
want me to, so.

By the grace of God
I made it.

And what's scariest thing
out of most was

he was there helping me
fight this man.

And then I just
started eating
a lot of junk food.

I started hanging
around the wrong crowd

and shoplifting,
breaking into houses
and...

At first, it was a struggle.

It helped me get
my grades better.

I ended up doing
what I had to do

to get out of there
to get home.

It's a hard thing
to leave your child,

especially when
they're young.

-Yeah, let's get...
-Let me, here.
Let me see. Let me see.

That's why I really started
smoking marijuana.

It used to calm me down.

Get me out of my head.

And I just started snacking.

I got bigger and bigger.

Okay.

Let's see. Cut, lady.

Me and my mom were
having a little shindig.

And when I went to go
put her down,

that's when the bullet
grazed my hand
right here

and it went through
my thumb.

It came out right here.

Like, I ain't even know
I was shot until my mom
started freaking out.

As I keep bleeding,
I look down

that's when the pain
started coming.

Nobody died
or anything, so...

I'm glad about that, but...

that's when I really started
to stay in the house all day.

Going to school,
I just dropped out,

sheltered myself in.

I just wanted to be home
with my mom.

I been by her--
her side all my life.

She's kind of
the support system.

She's my best friend, I guess.

All right, baby,
I love you.

-I'll see you a little later.
-Love you too.

Okay, well,
I'mma get the shoes,

and you'll wear them there.

My hopes for DeShaun right now

is to see his health
get better,

and to move around more.

It's kind of embarrassing
when somebody asks you,
"What's Shaun doing?"

Just-- And all
you can say is,

"Oh, he's still in bed,
watching TV."

I'd like for a chance
to be able to tell somebody

"Oh, he got up
and went to the movies today."

Look how skinny that is, Mom.

My foot's not gonna-- It's--

Yeah, my foot's
not gonna do that.

I wanna see him happy again,

to see that little kid
that runs around smiling,

and joke with everybody,

And now it's like,
you gotta pull TV--

just to get him
to come out the room.

Hello?

Um...

-Yeah.
-Okay, thank you.

"I'm all right, Mom."

And that's the end
of that conversation.

And when he gets
in that depression mode,

DeShaun depends on me
to do pretty much everything.

Could I have some couple
of Kool-Aid packages?

Okay, so...

can you get a bag
of hot cheese puffs

and jalapeño cheese puffs?

Yeah, grab both
and grab a dip.

No.

You, uh,
you around any sweets?

Let me see?

Ooh.

Then why don't you get both?

Can you grab
cookies and cream?

All right.

I don't believe I can change.

I'm hoping I can.

On your way home, if you like,

-can you stop by and grab me--
grab dinner?
-All right.

Can I get
two number fours,

and then can I get
the number seven?

Thank you.

DeShaun has never left
this house.

Not once for three years.

And I think
he's been to this kitchen
twice.

So, if meals are not prepared
by his sister and myself,

and brought to him,

he does not move.

Mmm.

Mmm-hmm.

All right.

-That's it.
-Yeah.

Need anything else?

-Good? All right.
-Yep.

The only thing that scares me
is blood clots and...

all those other
unhealthy things.

Like, it's the point where
I go to my friend's house

and stay for a couple days.

Because I can't look
at my son like that.

He needs...

someone to push him.

And I'm mainly scared
that he's gonna give up.

He's only 28.

He's not even 30 years old.

He still has a whole future
ahead of him.

And throwing it away for what?

But...

That's my real best friend,
so.

-Good morning, DaShaun.
-Good morning.

Would you like breakfast
or lunch?

-Breakfast.
-Okay.

How did you sleep?

Ugh, all right.

-That's good.
-Same as normal.

I'm Kavona,
and I'm DeShaun's caregiver.

I work with him
Monday through Friday.

I'm here to give him
that extra push

and extra motivation.

I'm making you sausage,
bacon, waffles, eggs.

-Okay, thanks,
sounds good.
-Mmm-hmm.

Oh.

Oh, snap.

DeShaun,
he really can't leave
his room,

because he has bad knees.

All he does is sit down
all day.

We're gonna try to get him
out the room.

So, hopefully,
whatever this doctor
comes up with,

it works
and he sticks to it.

Oh, snap.

It was kind of like,
me coming to help out
my big brother.

'Cause I'm only 24.

I've never worked with anybody
like that close in age.

We just try to be family.

So, I know if wasn't here
Monday through Friday,

it would not be great
at all.

You got
your appointment today.

-Oh, yeah.
-You nervous?

No,
just ready to get it
over with.

I think it'll be worth it.

Yeah, I hope so.

Whatever he's saying,
you gotta make sure
you stick to it.

Yeah.

And then maybe
in a few months,

we'll be walking outside
somewhere or something...

-Hopefully.
-...at the park.

It says
it's gonna snow tomorrow,
though.

Yeah, I know.

That's six weeks,
it needs to hurry up
and pass.

Well, the groundhog die
on Groundhog day.

-It did?
-Yeah.

What?

-So...
-Oh, Lord,
so what's that mean?

-I don't know,
that's just the thing.

What?

All right, let's get you ready
for your appointment.

-Let me grab the computer.
-Okay.

-Hi, DeShaun.
-Hey.

All right, now, how you doing?

I'm all right.

Good to meet you.

So, tell me a little bit
about your situation,

and what I can do for you.

I'm pretty much
just losing weight,

getting back in shape.

Okay, so,
it says here in your file

-that you're 28 years old?
-Yes.

Okay--

Yes.

Well, um,

I've been...

big my whole life, so...

Uh, it's just... I don't know.
Everything I try don't work.

I tried exercising.
I tried dieting.

And nothing really helps.

I lose like five, 10 pounds,
but it comes right back.

Well, whatever
you're eating right now
is supporting 700 pounds.

So, if you wanna eat
to support somebody
to be 200 pounds,

-you have to eat one third
of what you're eating, okay?
-Mmm.

So, on a typical day,
what do you eat for breakfast?

Um, it depends.

Sometimes it's eggs and toast.

Or the little frozen waffles.

Okay. So, you eat eggs.
How many eggs are you eating?

I don't know.
She scrambled them.

Okay, so she decide
how much you're gonna eat?

I mean, yeah.

I guess.

Not as much.

Standing for like
a couple minutes at a time.

-So...
-All right.

Not really.

-Do you have any friends?
-No.

Does anybody come
and visit you?

No. Just family.

I would like to travel.

Where you wanna go
if your travel?

Anywhere's better than Omaha.

What's wrong with Omaha?

I been here my whole life.
I know everything about Omaha.

-I'm ready to go.
-Yeah, okay.

So when you go another place
beside Omaha,

what will be different?
What do you want
to do different?

They have different stuff
to do in different places.

Well,
you can't argue with that.

So where you wanna go?

I don't know. I'm probably go
Missouri or something
with my uncle.

I just want to get
out of Omaha.

Okay,
so that's a goal.

And it's not necessarily
the best goal,
but we will work with it.

You want to lose weight
and get out of Omaha,

and move to Missouri
to live with your uncle?

Yes.

Well, how bad do you want
to get out of Omaha?

Bad enough to start
eating healthy?

I guess.

All right, DeShaun, if I send
you some stuff to read,

you think you can
go over it at home?

-Try to understand it?
-Yes.

All right.

I will. All right.

All right. So at the meantime,

you know, I think you are at
the mercy of the nurse
what she bring you.

Maybe we need to talk
to that nurse and see
if we can get her

to really work with you
about your eating habit.

-'Kay.
-And I'm also
going to send

a nutritionist to talk to you
'cause you need to understand

what you're eating
and how much you're eating.

So we can start getting
you up more.

So you think you can
work with that, if we do that?

-Yes.
-Super.

All right, so, DeShaun,
have you seen any therapist
or psychiatrist

or anybody to help
you work through
things in your life?

I was. Not no more.

Okay. Was that helping you?

A little bit.

So, why did you stop
or they stop?

-Why did--
-'Cause she got
a different job.

So that was the only person
available or there's another
person you can see?

That was the only person
available. I was supposed
to get a new person,

but nobody got back with me.

-So...
-Okay, so, I think
the first step for you

is talking
to psychotherapy again.

If we set that for you,
do you think you can do that?

I guess.

All right. Well, we'll set
all that stuff up.

I'm going to follow with you
in one month to see
how you doing.

If you need anything,
give me a call.

Okay.

I'll have her call you
tomorrow when she come in
in the morning.

All right. I'm going to see
if we can work on
you're eating habit,

and then see what other
option we got for you, okay?

Okay.

All right.
Bye, DeShaun.

Thanks for meeting
with me. Um...

I'll be ready to receive
those documents
so I can get started.

-All right, DeShaun,
take care.
-See you later.

All right, bye.

This right now...
I do want to do it, I just...

My nurse was supposed
to call Dr. Now to get
my meal plan in order.

Other than that, I gotta get
some shoes or stuff,

'cause I'mma start
walking around the house.

The situation
we have with DeShaun

is looking like
it will be a difficult one.

Because he clearly lacks
a lot of motivation.

He has a nurse
taking care of him,

and it seemed like
a free place to stay,

and free food and everything.

So he has a lot
of reasons not to change
his situation

and start taking
responsibility for himself.

So I will hopefully
be able to talk
to his caregiver,

and then we'll see
how things will go

with the nutritionist and PT.

But the big thing will be
with him working with
psychotherapy

to see if they can
help get to the some
of the issues with him.

So we may have
a long road ahead with him,

but at his weight,
he can't wait too long
to turn things around

because his situation
is gonna get worse

until he gets
to the breaking point,

and it's too late for him.

-Good morning.
-What's up? What's up?

-How you been doing
this morning?
-I'm good.

I got food for you.

Oh, cool.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

-Is your nutritionist
coming today?
-Yes.

All right, well, we'll leave
the door unlocked for you.

-Okay.
-All right.
Have a good day.

Come in!

Back here.

Hey.

-Hi.
-Hi.

-How are you?
-Good.

-My name's Peyton.
-Hi. DeShaun.

I'm a registered dietician,
so here to talk about
nutrition this morning.

-Okay.
-Okay?

Let's kind of first start
by getting to know you
a little bit, okay?

What are your goals
coming out of this?

I mean, I just want
to get back to normal at least

-where I can walk around
without the walker.
-Yeah.

-Do stuff that I used to do.
-Mmm-hmm.

So tell me a little bit
about what your normal
eating habits look like.

-A pizza, or...
-Okay.

Some noodles
or some burrito
or something.

Okay. And what drinks
do you have
throughout the day?

-Water.
-Water?

-So I see you have maybe...
-Yeah, I had that today.

That's funny.

-Yeah, like,
I normally drink water.
-Okay.

So, looking forward,
what do you want

to improve
with your nutrition?

Pretty much get healthier
so I can start...

-losing some kind of weight.
-Mmm-hmm.

-So I can get around better.
-Yeah.

So what I'm gonna do
is I'm gonna go out,
if it's okay with you,

and go through your fridge,
pantry, and then I'll bring
some of those items back

and we can go through
the nutrition facts labels,
to see what we can avoid,

-and those kinds of things.
How does that sound?
-Okay.

Okay, perfect.

Okay.

Someone his size
can struggle with not knowing

what he needs
for himself specifically.

So I don't expect him
to know that,

but I'm hoping that this
can then help him
then transition

and learn a little bit more
about what
he specifically needs.

Okay. So I grabbed
some stuff for us
to take a look at.

-Okay.
-So, you said that
you have these pretty often

and so let's look at the back.

-So if you look,
this is per half pizza.
-Mmm-hmm.

-And this is for
the whole pizza.
-Oh.

So we want to make sure
at this line.

-How much total fat is there?
-Thirty-six.

Yeah. So that's a lot, huh?

So I know Dr. Now
has you on
a lower calorie diet too,

so we really make sure
that we're watching
the calories.

And so those are the things
that we wanna make sure
we're watching for.

-Mmm-hmm.
-And so we can make
those smart decisions

on whether or not
we think we should have this

or maybe something
a little different.

-Okay?
-Mmm-hmm.

Awesome.

So if we're looking at this,

it's saying serving size
is half an noodle block.

So do you normally eat
half the pack of these?

-No.
-No, nobody does.

So, you know, we're looking
at that. We go from
190 calories to 370 calories,

and again with you being on
that lower calorie diet...

-Mmm-hmm.
-...we want to make sure
that we're not kind of wasting

-all that on
something like this, okay?
-Mmm-hmm.

And then, so yoghurt,
I do love people
having yoghurt.

I think it's great.

But something we want
to make sure we look at
with this is the added sugar.

And this one tends
to have a little bit more.

And so that's just
another thing,

making those conscious choices
to get a lower sugar option

-'cause then it's gonna help
you out in the long run, okay?
-Okay.

For now I think it might
be better just to kind of

-have them out of sight,
out of mind.
-Mmm.

So I'll take these
with me when I go

and so then you don't
have to worry about them.

-Does that sound okay?
-Mmm-hmm.

Um, thank you so much
for inviting me to come
chat with you.

I hope you are able to take
some of this information
and utilize it.

Reach out if you have
any questions.

-Okay? All righty.
-Okay.

-Thank you much.
-All right.
It's nice meeting you.

Nice to meet you.

-Bye!
-Bye-bye.

If I want to get better,
I gotta do something, so...

I don't know if I'm gonna
start right away,

but no, I am.

It's just... I know
it's gonna be difficult.

Oh, come in.

-Hi, Shaun. Hi, I'm Sara.
-Hi.

I'm with Athletico
Physical Therapy.

-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you too.

-How are you?
-I'm all right.

Good. Okay, well, first step
to actually getting better
is actually having to do it.

I wish I had a magic wand
that worked

-that would...
-Pfft, you and me both.

All my patients
kind of wish that,

but I brought
some bands with me.

So we'll start with just
moving, doing some things
with your ankle.

So your muscles in your ankle
kind of connect higher up
in your leg,

and those will help
with your balance, okay?

And what I want you to do,
Shaun, is I want you to push
down towards the ground.

Good. And then back up
toward you. Good.

How's that feel
as you're doing it?

Mmm,
that's all right.

-Tolerable? Okay. Good.
-Yeah.

Okay. All right. So next
what we're going to do

is we're gonna kind of
hold from the side here.

I want you to turn
your toes towards me.

Good, and then back in.

Perfect. How's this one
feel in comparison?

It's all right.
It's better.

-Easier than the other one?
Okay. Good.
-Yeah.

Perfect. Okay.

-Doable?
-Yeah.

-Okay, so that's gonna
be yours to keep here. Okay?
-Okay.

Would you be willing
to try getting up?

Now you wanna try it
and see just how you move?

-I need the-
-You up for that?
The walker?

-Yeah.
-Yeah. Okay.

-All right.
-Gonna make sure
I'm settled.

-Settle... Settle on your
feet before.
-Yeah.

-Okay.
-And standing up.

Good.

Let's maybe take
a couple steps
towards the doorway.

-All right for that?
-Mmm-hmm.

You just take your time,
Shaun, with it.

I think Shaun's biggest
issue that he's facing

is just general
deconditioning.

Um, a lot of times,
people who aren't active
and moving on a regular basis

tend to just not have
the muscle strength needed
to perform daily activities.

It's a little
toasty in here.

You're working hard.

So that's what exercise does.

It makes you sweat, Shaun.

Okay.

I think from Shaun,
the biggest thing
he needs to do

is just have consistency
with effort.

Okay, good. We'll kind of
turn back around.

We'll come back
towards the bed.

Okay.

So my goal for him.

Trying to get up a little bit
more frequently and move.

And it doesn't have
to be long distances.
Short distances is enough.

And if Shaun were to do
his exercises two
or three times a day,

it's not going to take long
for him to see change
very quickly.

The more we move,
the better we're gonna feel.

Um, and so it's just
convincing ourselves,
our brains, our hearts,

everything, to actually do it.

Okay. So again,
it doesn't have to be much
to get started.

If we can just get you up
and moving a couple
more times a day

than just being
in bed all the time,

it's gonna build your strength
a whole lot faster.

Okay? I want you to just
keep up with exercises

I want you to contact me
if you have any questions
or concerns with anything.

And then hopefully next time
we're seeing you,

you're feeling
a whole lot better.

-Okay.
-Okay.

-It's been a pleasure.
Thanks for this.
-All right. It has.

-Thanks for letting me in
your home. I appreciate it.
-You're welcome.

-All right. Bye.
-Bye.

-So, Shaun.
-Mmm?

I'm glad you're sticking
with just 1,200 calorie thing.

Hopefully I'll be joining you
real soon.

Mama's got a lot
of other issues

-I'm working out but my main
one is to diet.
-Yeah.

Tonight my mom kinda wanted
to have a nice little dinner.

So I came home from work,
made some asparagus
and chicken.

Cooking's not that bad,

but fitting it into
my schedule
with me trying to work

and keep up
with the house,
it's a lot of work.

Are you really hungry
for dinner

'cause I don't know
what's taking Diamond so long.

Yeah. Oh, there she is.

-Okay, grab these
before they drop.
-Okay. Gotcha.

Thank you.

-Here you go.
-Thanks.

Here you go.

You got the amount
everybody else's.

No arguing.

Spending quality time
with DeShaun is awesome

'cause he never gets
like the chance to go out

and so it's just like
to actually sit around him
and do family things,

I feel like it's good for him,
good for his soul.

-Thank you very much
for dinner, daughter.
-Thank you.

You guys want some water?

-Yes.
-Yeah, I want a new one
'cause that's warm.

Yes, 'cause I was just trying
to give you some pop, but...

-Soda's not even
in our fridge.
-You don't need the pop.

We can still get the pop.

I've been trying to help
with the diet.

I kinda told the whole house,
like, we all need to work
on the diet.

Like, you know, not just him.

So like to make it easier
for him, like, we all
need to cut down.

Like on the sweets,
the sodas, any, like,
harsh juices,

or anything like that.

So... I mean, I'm down
to diet with him.
Like, you know.

Don't tell me I'm the only
one that's going to be eating
the asparagus.

Well, I didn't chop
the ends off.
So don't eat the ends.

You're supposed
to chop the ends off?

Don't at me.

It's okay. You gotta...

It's... I mean,
it's seasoned good.

Y'all really don't like
my asparagus?

Uh-uh.

They're stringy and rubbery.

That's a part
of the diet, y'all.

I get that.
It's part of the diet.

I love vegetables.
Some of them.

Here, crybaby.

This is so...

You gonna cry again.

The diet
and stuff is hard on him.

Fast-food delivery,
that's what he loves,

but I'm always down to help
if it's gonna make anything
better for him.

So, hopefully he doesn't just
give up and he actually
give a shot.

'Scuse me, Mom.
I don't know where
that came from.

The asparagus.

-Are you done, Mom?
-Yes, ma'am.

-Thank you, doll.
-That asparagus was awesome.

Awesome sauce.

You guys don't gotta lie
to make me feel better.

-No, it's...
-I mean...

Nah, I'm not gonna lie to you.
That's nasty.

It was seasoned
very well though.

-Thank you, baby.
-You're welcome.

Oh, shoot.

It's been about six weeks
since I talked to DeShaun.

and since then I've been
waiting for him to connect me
with his nurse

because I need to have
a talk with her about changing
what she's feeding him.

But he didn't follow through
on connecting me with her.

Hello?

Uh, is that Lana?

This is Lana.

Yeah, this is Dr. Nowzaradan.
How are you doing today?

I'm good
and how are you?

I'm doing good.

Yes.

Yes, I do prepare
and cook food for him
when I'm there.

So does he rely
on you to bring him
everything to eat?

No.

His family, they enable him
and they give him more food,

food that he doesn't
really need.

Well, that's on top of what
you've prepared for him?

Or just when you're not there
they do that?

They do that
when I'm not there.

Like whatever he wants
them to do, they do it

because he screams
and he yells and his attitude
is outrageous

and kind of uncontrollable.
He has a terrible attitude.

So what about you
when you're taking
care of him?

You give him what he wants too
when he does that?

Correct.

All right. What can you do
to change that?

Um, I can work on, uh,

different daily plans, see if
I'm able to stay longer.

Um, to monitor his meals more.

I would, I'll just try
my best to do my part

in supporting your diet plan,

and your medical advice.

Okay. All right.

we send him diet instruction,
we send him book,

and everything that
he needed to do

to change his eating habit,

uh, but, um,

Um, I'll help him,

I'll try to personally help
him get back on track,

um, to follow that diet plan
and that medical book,

that you have sent
over previously, um,

I'll keep mentioning
to family,

and see if they're willing
to stop enabling him.

Right.

Right, so, we need
a lot of education

for family and information
for them as well.

I'll send the diet
book for you,

so you can have direction
to follow for his meal.

The diet will be
1,200 calorie diet,

with no carb, high protein.

-All right.
-And we'll see what
we can do

to get DeShaun on
the right channel, okay?

Okay.
Thank you so much.

All right, well, nice
talking to you, and, uh,

hopefully we'll be in touch
with you in the future

to see how well the changes
are working for DeShaun.

-Okay.
-And hopefully lose
some weight, okay?

All righty.
Thank you so much.

All right, and if you need
anything, give me a call.

Okay.
You have a good day.

You too.

-Bye-bye.
-Bye.

It's a little
bit like I suspected.

DeShaun is one of driving
force in eating unhealthy,

but everyone around him,
including his nurse,

is playing their part in
enabling him in the past.

Hopefully they
aren't doing that

now that DeShaun is trying.

And hopefully,
Yvonne will be able

to help get him doing
what he needs.

But I think it is more likely

this is gonna be
a big fight with him.

And that he may be resistant
to the changes.

It's about time to,
uh, call Dr. Now?

-Huh?
-I guess.

Well, get the laptop open
so we can get started.

I'm here today to
see how the doctor's
appointment goes,

and what all the doctor
wants DeShaun to do
to lose weight.

DeShaun's gained weight.
He has not...

He hasn't
done anything,

but use the restroom,
eat, and lay down.

He's claimed he sits up more,

but he just sits and dwells
in his own sorrows.

And bottom line is,
that's the point we're at now.

Waking up one day and finding
him in that room, dead.

-Hi, DeShaun.
-Hey.

- How are you?
-Uh...

I'm all right.
Could do better.

-My mom's here
too, by the way.
-Hi, Dr. Now.

-Hi,
Willa. How are you?
-Um...

I'm doing good.

Trying to get my son
motivated to come see you.

So, DeShaun, it's been a while
since I talked to you.

-So, what is the issue?
-I don't know.

You told PT you
stopped coming.

You have a reason for that?

No.

No? Okay. Um,

Nothing.

We gave you instruction
for the diet and exercise,

and you didn't
follow the diet.

-Did you do the exercises?
-No.

How much you can do in one?

I don't know.

Are you able to walk?

No, he's not, Dr. Now.

DeShaun's not
opening his mouth

to being truthful with you.

And if he won't, I will.

He goes only to the bathroom,
and back to bed.

He doesn't walk. He, he...

He said he's been moving
his legs around in the bed,

but I'm not here on
the regular to see that,
so I don't know.

But,

I told him, this is
the only opportunity you have.

If not, Dr. Now
and them are not gonna
help you any longer.

If you want to change,
you have to make the change.

So, I've done all
I can do on my side
to get him motivated.

I don't know what
else he needs.

What else he wants.

But...

...I don't know, I mean,
at this point...

...he's gotta want it,
and I don't think he does.

He keeps telling me he does.

I don't care.
-But if you don't--

You'll have to wait
on the paperwork--

To exercise!

Okay, well, I'm done with it.

die,
all I care. I don't care.

-Because I spoke for you,
you have an attitude?
-No.

DeShaun, you,
so you don't want this?

Nope. I don't want nothing.

-Well, you're gonna
die up in here.

-You make a lot of sense.
-I don't care.

No, I don't.
No, I don't!

I barely
eat, I don't
care anymore.

Y'all saying I'm sitting here,

eating, doing all
the I want.

No, the I don't.

Yeah, maybe once
or twice a month,

when I get my food
stamps, yeah.

I will, 'cause it's
my food stamps.

Other than that,
I don't eat.

Nothing.

I don't expect nobody to do
anything for me, .

That's a poor
excuse for a life.

-I don't care.
-I'm done.

Who, me?

-Yeah.
-Okay.

I'm here, still.

Okay, well, you know,

how did we get
all this uncomfortable
situation for him?

He's not doing
anything or himself.

So,

I don't know. At this point,

it's "I don't care."
It's always "I don't care."

-It's "whatever."
-'Cause
everything that come out

of everybody's
mouth is blaming me,
like I'm not trying!

DeShaun, you got yourself
in this predicament!

I don't care!

And then
everybody's trying to offer
you the help that they can!

Everybody's
giving me opinions
and cussing me out.

-That's not helping.
-I'll cuss you out, now that
you're pissing me off!

Well,
everybody's pissing me off.

Keep
telling me about
him I ain't doing.

I don't give a

Well I know clearly
you're not exercising!

Well, like I said,
I don't care anymore.

I don't care if you're not
eating every day regularly.

You're not exercising either!

Sorry.

You have free everything.

So tell me what
you do for yourself.

.

You want
to live rest of your life
in that room?

-And not being able to--
-Where else
I'mma go?

I ain't got nowhere
else to go.

-So--
-I'm talking to Dr. Now.

-I'd rather not
hear your voice.
-Well, I'm talking to him.

Well, you had
your time to talk to him!

-And you blew it!
-Oh well.

Well, I appreciate
you trying to help me.

And he doesn't
really appreciate what
you do for him.

I would never give up on him.

But...

...at some point in time,

-it's time to grow
the up.
-Mm.

And if you wanna
do it, you have to do it.

If not, nobody's
gonna make you.

Nobody's gonna hold your hand
and walk you through it.

You're
exactly right.

You make him very comfortable,

and then he not gonna
be motivated to do anything,

And that's a major
problem with him.

I'm frustrated right now
because I want him to see,

I wanna see him better,
and he's just giving up.

He's just giving up.
And I don't like that.

That's how
you are, DeShaun.

Willa, what DeShaun need
is to talk to psychotherapy.

So I'll set that up,
and give him one more
chance to do that.

And then, he need
to exercise every day,

to improve his mobility,

Okay.

Okay, I'll see what
I can do on my end.

-If I can help you,
let me know, okay?
-Okay.

Thank you so much, Dr. Now.

-All righty, y'all take care.
-You too.

-Bye-bye.
-Bye.

Are you
willing to talk?

Okay.

I didn't wanna talk
to you anyway.

Not right now.

-I love you.
You have a good day.

It's hurtful.

It's sad.

And...

...at this point,
I don't know what else

anybody can do for DeShaun.

'Cause he doesn't even wanna
do anything for himself.

For him not to want to even...

...get the help he needs.

It's literally killing me,
mentally and physically.

I, but at this point,
I don't know what
else to tell him.

I don't know
what else I can do

to motivate him
to get the help.

Hey, Iesh?

What's going on, turkey nuts?

Just seeing if you
can grab the laptop

so I can get
ready for therapy?

-Yeah, bud. I got you.
-All right.

That's better.

Uh-oh...

All right, well, I don't wanna
talk to your therapist.

I barely wanna talk to you,

so I'm gonna distance myself.

-Okay.
-All right.

-Hi, DeShaun.
-Hi.

-How you doing?
-I'm all right.

-You're all right?
-Yeah.

I see, I'm glad we're
able to connect.

Um, you're in Nebraska now?

I'm in Omaha, Nebraska, yeah.

Omaha, Nebraska?
That's where you grew up?

Yep. Born and raised.

Okay. Who was in
your family, growing up?

Uh, my mom, and my siblings.

That's about it.

Okay. Where was,
where's your dad?

Uh, in jail.

In jail? Was he in jail
from when you were,

uh, a little guy?

From five until, like,
uh, four years ago.

Holy cow. So he was in jail
for most of your childhood,

and even most
of your early adulthood.

Yeah, for 20 years.

Did you have
a relationship with him,

uh, while he was in jail?
Did you go visit?

Uh, no, not while
he was in jail.

Okay. So you had a step-dad?

No, no.

I didn't claim nobody
as my step-dad.

Are you saying,
is it meaningful,

that you don't claim him?

-Was there a guy around--
-Nah.

It's just, I didn't really
get along with him,

and my mom and him
wasn't together that long.

What's that,
what's that about?

'Cause he used to,
um, abuse my mom.

That must have been hard,
to watch your mom get, um,

pushed around like that.

It was.

Yeah,
I'm hearing a pattern, that,

the fathers in your life,
the men in your life,

not super reliable.

Nah.

That was the house
you grew up in?

What were you like as a kid?

I was a quiet person.
People used to pick on me.

And I used to just blow up
and snap on people,

and get into fights,
or walk out of school.

For what, what did
they bully you about?

-My weight.
-Were you
big as a kid?

-Yeah.
-Did you
ever get focused

on the school part of school?

Any learning going on?

Classes that I felt
the teachers actually
cared about us,

and actually helped us in.

Okay.

How could you
tell when a teacher
cared about you?

'Cause they would sit
there and actually,

to us, explain how
to do it and help you.

Yeah, I wonder
how just generally,

you know how people
care about you.

'Cause when we first
started talking,

you seemed kinda suspicious.

-And--
-No, I just,

-I'm just not--
-And now you
seem a little less suspicious.

Yeah, I'm just not
an open person.

I don't, I'm a quiet
person, so.

Mm-hmm. And I heard you're
kinda stuck at home now.

Yeah, I really don't
like going anywhere

anyways, so, I don't know.

It's just, I'm used
to being home, like...

Yeah, I wonder what that means

that you don't even
wanna go out.

-Yeah, I wonder--
-I feel safe at home
pretty much.

Like, I feel secure here.

Safe from what?

Uh...

Society.

Like, I got PTSD too, so...

-PTSD from...
-Getting shot.

How'd you get shot?

Uh, we were just kicking it,

in the house,
me and my mom,
a couple of friends.

And somebody just
shot at our house.

Were they trying to shoot you?
Or was it a random thing?

Ain't no telling.
It was a rough
neighborhood, so.

-Where'd you get shot?
-My hands.

Is that
what I'm seeing?

-There's, like,
scars on your hands?
-Yeah, that, and right here.

DeShaun, it's sort of
interesting that,

the place that you think
is safe, your home,

is exactly where you got shot.

Yeah.

You know,
when we think about--

That's why I'm just
glad we moved from
that neighborhood.

You're in a
quiet neighborhood.

-Mm-hmm.
-I'm still worried that you're
stuck in the house, though.

I mean, I don't know.

There's not nothing
really out there for me
to do, really.

Well, there is, but nothing
that I'm interested in--

Did you ever have
a job, DeShaun?

No.

-No?
-Mm-mm.

I feel, DeShaun, like you're,
we're wasting you, you know?

Like, you could be of more use

than you are sitting
home doing nothing.

Yeah, I just gotta be
interested in something

or motivated to do it.

What would you wanna do,

if you could get out
of the house more?

I mean, I'm not interested
in stuff nowadays,

it's, like, I did
most of the stuff

when I was younger,
so it's old news to me.

-So--
-What do you do
with your time?

Either watch TV
or play my game.

Okay. Can you walk well?

Not really.
I gotta use a walker.

Okay. Is that demoralizing,
when you try to get out,

that you gotta use a walker
to go where you're going?

Yeah.

Do you not go, even outside
your room, DeShaun?

No.

-You only stay in your room?
-Mm-hmm.

-But you eat all your
meals in that room?
-Yeah.

You play your video games,

and you watch your
movies in that room?

Mm-hmm.

Wow. That's like
being in jail.

Hey, it's a good jail cell.

Boy, that's pretty restricted.

Um, what does your family
say about this, DeShaun?

I mean, they want
me to get out, but...

...there's nothing, like,
nothing for me to do.

Like, well, there is,

but there's nothing
I'm interested in.

You know what, DeShaun?

I kinda don't believe you
when you say that.

There's not.

It sounds
like an excuse to me.

So, what's making you say

that you're not
interested in it?

'Cause I'm really not.

What's the fear?

I sense that you,

there's something tripping
you up about leaving.

What's the fear?

I'm not afraid to leave.

Okay. When's the last time
you left your room?

Like...

...six, seven months ago.

I can't imagine what
it's like to be stuck

for seven months
in the same room.

I mean, I'm cool with this.

Like, I'm comfortable, so...

DeShaun, I'm not
saying this to be mean,

but you have
a really small life.

But there's a real world.

Heck, just in
your living room,

there's a world, right?

I mean, it's the same,
there's nothing out there,

it's just, same people.

I know,
but what would happen

if you stepped
out of your door?

What's out on the front porch?

I don't know.

How hard is it to stand up

and just walk
to the living room

and walk back to your bed?

It's a little hard.

-I use a walker.
-Okay.

And so, these, DeShaun,

if there was a fire
in your apartment,

-you could get yourself out?
-Yeah.

Okay.

You know, there's a fire
in your life.

Like, I kinda
want you to think

that there's a fire
in your life right now,

that requires you to get up
and move around.

'Cause I worry that
if we stay in that bed,
you're gonna,

that's where your life's
gonna end, is in that bed.

And, you know,
I can give you a bunch
of homework.

But I don't know that I'm
confident that you'll do it.

DeShaun, even if I gave
you the homework

to get up and walk
into the living room,

could you do that?

Yeah.

You could?

Yeah.

Could you do that once a day?

If I wanted to.

Can I get you to commit to sit
down in the living room,

for a little bit every day?

Yeah, I wouldn't mind.

You wouldn't mind?
-No.

-Okay.
-That's not an issue for me.

And if they, would you
sit on the patio?

It depends.

-If it's hot--
-What depends on?

-The weather.
-The weather?

DeShaun, you have this
opportunity right now,

to change your weight,

but even more
than your weight,

I want you
to change your life.

We need to get you
into action mode,

and I think they're
gonna go together.

I don't think you can have
one without the other.

But, but I think you're dying,
where you're at.

I think this is,
the room that you're in,

is gonna be the end of you,
if you don't get out of it.

Um...

And this is the moment.

Not tomorrow.
Not six months from now.

Like, tonight is where I think
we need to change your mind

and get you to commit to--

to pushing yourself
a little bit.

First thing I need you to do
is-- is get up and-- and be
on your feet and walk around.

The second thing I need
you to do is-- is

try to plan some meals
with your family members.

It's really healthy
to sit and enjoy a meal
with other people.

And the third goal is
to get outside of the house.

Can I get you to commit
to even stepping out
on that patio?

Just-- Just to, um,
feel the outside air?

Look at a tree,

hear a bird.

Sure, why not?

I want you--
I want you to try that out.

See-- See how "yes" feels
compared to "no."

"Yes" might feel better.

It-- It may feel better to say
"yes" to things than "no."

You think you can do this?

I can.

Okay, that's pretty good.
That's pretty good.

I-- I see the discomfort, man,
but I'm telling you,

you-- you are on the verge
of-- of something really
big and important,

and you can do it.

You really can.

Okay, DeShaun. I-- I'm happy
to have met with you

and I can't wait to hear
about how you're doing.

-You-- You're gonna
impress me, okay, man?
-Okay.

-All right.
-Take care of yourself.

Okay.

Did you have a nice session
with therapy?

Okay.
Why was it irritating?

I don't know. I just...

You know I'm not used
to talking about--

Yeah, and...

I don't know. It felt like
we kept going over each other.

Just glad it's over.

Okay. I mean, did you
get anything out of it?

I mean...

He helped-- tried to help
as best as he could.

It's just my stubbornness.

I mean, your stubbornness
is, like, how?

-Like, talking about stuff you
don't wanna talk about...
-Yeah.

...that you need to let out

or you just don't wanna
talk about it, period.
Like, I mean...

Both.

Mainly the first one.

-I'm sorry.
-It's all right. I'll just...

calm down,

think about what
he was saying.

I hope you feel better.
Call me if you need me, baby.

-Okay.
-All right.

-I love you, cousin.
-Love you too.

Like, I don't know,
it's just, like, I like to

Like, I don't like being
forced to do stuff, so...

I mean, if I wanna get better,
I gotta do something, so...

There's something
I want to try. I mean,
I gotta start somewhere.

I know it's
gonna be difficult.

I think I can do it.

How are you doing?

I'm all right.

Yeah.

It actually--
It actually didn't hurt
that much,

you know what I mean?

It was just difficult
getting through the door.

But once I got past the door,
it was cool.

This is, like, the first time
in two years that

I actually sat outside.

I am a little proud of myself.

I knew I could do it,

I just had to get out
of my head and just do it.

Watch. I'm finna shock Willa.

I'm finna shock her.
Finna call her.

What'd you say?
You didn't said "yay!"

Yep.

Now I can socialize more.

You used to say, "I'm gonna
make you come sit outside
on the porch with me."

I'll do it. Okay.

You gonna come and sit
on the porch with me?

Ha-ha-ha. Funny.

All right, Mama,
see you when you get here.

Love you too.

Got jokes, old lady.

It do feel good out here.

It feels great, uh, to have
the wind on my face.

Actually, other day
I'm sitting by the window
getting air.

It's been a long time, so...

Dang.

Are you gonna spend
the night outside tonight?

-You know me.
-I know.

I love sitting
on the porches but...

-Is this something you
would do by yourself? Like...
-Yeah.

I don't have a problem
coming out here every day

or sitting out here,
come and socializing, like...

It's-- It's hard to do stuff.

Yeah-- That's another thing
that I gotta do, is get--

get over that and start
opening up more 'cause...

I mean, doing
the little stuff I've been
doing is kinda helping.

-Starting to come
out of my shell.
-It is helping.

-It is helping.
-Yeah.
So, this is...

I gotta get in my head

and get out of that
protective mode,
get out that shell.

-The defensive...
-That-- Yeah.

-Always got your guards up.
-Yeah.

Start to trust people
and actually taking--
take their advice.

-Yeah.
-You know
what I mean?

'Cause this-- This feels...
It feels good.

-That's cool.
-It do.

It's just cool to be out here,
you know?

It's just cool to be out here,
you know?

I am--
Well, I'm still living,
hanging out with my mom.

Slow down, baby.

Hi, beautiful.

Hi, Mama.

It's just exciting for me
to see him out of that
room for a change.

-You got it?
-Yeah.

I didn't think
he was ever gonna come
out that room.

So far, to my knowledge,
DeShaun has only
been getting up

going to use the restroom.

So, this was exciting
for me to just see him

come down the hallway
for the first time.

Ooh-wee.

My legs hurt.

No, as far
as I remember--

Oh, so you just
wanted to be bright.

No.

How you doing?

I'm all right.

Have you talked to Dr. Now?

No. Not ever since
he told me he didn't want
to see me anymore.

Oh, okay.

So, right now you're just
working with the nutritionist
and the therapist?

-And the physical therapy.
-Oh.

-Oh, you got
a physical therapist?
-Yeah.

-I didn't know that. Okay.
-Yeah.

-Seen her-- I seen her first.
-Oh, okay.

That's good. That's--
That's my main concern
right now.

Your physical mobilities.

-Yeah.
-To get them
moving around,

get some circulation
in them-- them legs.

I would love for the doctor
to talk with him more
because I know

he's got a lot
of issues that...

hopefully he can get--
he can work out.

I-- I would love for him
to get worked out,

'cause it's eating him
up inside.

-So, you ready to eat?
-Yeah.

When we're done eating dinner
maybe we can-- we can get
a little card game going on.

Okay. Iesha!

Yes, sir.

-We ready.
-All right.

-Thank you. Thank you, niece.
-Thank you. Thank you.

I got you.

-Oh, look at that. That--
-That smells good.

That's like goulash.

What portion size
do you want, sweetheart?

-About this size? Okay.
-That's cool. Yeah.
That's about my fist.

Yeah,
you have big old hands.

This is about your fist size.

Okay, you want
a raw salad too?

Sure.

-Thank you.
-All right, honey.
There you are.

-Did you want some bread?
-Mmm-mmm.

Okay, you know Mama
gonna have some bread. Okay.

You are working on smaller
portions of your food now?

Mmm-hmm.

When you-- you go
from being a child
who'd been able to eat

whatever, whenever,

and have to start
watching your calories,
it's hard.

You think so far so good,

-you been kinda keeping up
with minding your calories?
-Yeah.

That's good.
That's good.

Yeah.

Well, you beat me eating.

-And I was--
-I started
before you too.

Yeah,
I wasn't lot hungry.

-Are you good enough?
-Yeah.

-Well,
that was good dinner.
-It was.

I'm so proud of you that
you're out here
and enjoying your day,

with your family.

-It's been
a while since we...
-Sat at the table.

Yeah.

It felt nice to hear my mom
say she was proud of me.

I mean, that was my first meal
in the living room.

It did feel good to put
a smile on her face.

Well, all right.
Love you, baby.

Love you too.

I'll see you around.

-Pound it 'cause I'm not
walking around to hug you.
-Well...

It might be a good exercise
but you gotta walk all the way
down the hallway.

I think I can make it.

Good shot. Watch me miss.

-I made it!
Ooh, it's gonna rain.
-High five.

-Love you, baby.
-Love you too.

I enjoyed sitting with my mom
and talking to her.

I mean, I gotta say,
we talk every day on the phone
and still, but,

it's different when
you're face-to-face.

-All right, Mama.
-All right, baby.

I didn't mind
the therapy homework.

Like, I'll do it.
Like, that's not
a problem for me.

It's just-- It's different.

So, I guess
I gotta just get used to it.

Hey, DeShaun.

Nice to meet you.
My name is Melvin.

You ready to go
to your appointment?

We could get your shoes.
I could help you
with that if you want.

My nurse already got it--
getting one for me.

I'm just waiting on her.
They're supposed to be
coming in today.

Well, why don't you go to this
appointment, you know,
figure out your weight,

and then you can start working
on getting better, man.

How long haven't
you had shoes?

I haven't had shoes
in over two years.

And why is that?

'Cause they don't fit.

You can't always just wait
for things to be perfect.

I'm not waiting
for nothing to be perfect.

Do you know when you're
supposed to get your shoes?

No, she said sometime soon.

Within a day or two.

So, if we get your shoes,
then you're down to go?

Like I said, I was already
planning on going
to the doctor

when I got my shoes.

All right, man.

So, that means next week
we're good to go.

Should be.

All right.

So, I'll see you
next week, okay?

Yep.

So, me and DeShaun
talked about trying to get him

to go to his appointment
at the clinic,

which he wasn't
really wanting to go,

and had different things
that he put out there,

reasons of why he
didn't wanna go,
like his shoes.

Just, like, seeing him
and, like, his situation
and his demeanor,

it seems like he's-- he's sad,

he's upset,
he's angry, you know?

And, like, there's
that fear, you know?

And that shame to be
in the situation that he's in,

and I understand that and I
couldn't imagine it being easy

but he does seem
like a good person,

and it does seem like
he needs help.

And it's sad.

It really is sad
and I hope he does get help.

Hello.

You picked up in a second.

Yeah.

You doing okay?

Yeah, I'm all right.

Because I don't
have my shoes yet.

You're
waiting for your shoes?

Yeah.

Okay, and so when
you gonna have those shoes?

Sometime soon.

You don't know when?

Either today,
tomorrow or by Monday.

Okay. So, if I
set up another appointment
for local clinic next week,

you think you'll
be ready for that?

If I have my shoes
by then I don't mind.

Okay, well,
that'll be great because
we need to see

your progress and see
how much you weigh.

Mmm-hmm.

Is there anything else
we need to provide for you?

No.

All right,
so keep up the good work

and we will move your
appointment to next week,

and we'll go from there, okay?

-Yep.
-All right.

All right, DeShaun, if you
need anything else

-you give me a call, okay?
-Okay.

Okay.

All right. Bye now.

Bye.

When Dr. Now said,
"What else can we
do to help you?"

I was like, I really wasn't...

I really didn't care 'cause,

like I said,
I'm frustrated with him.

And it's like, one moment
he's saying he don't want
nothing to do with me

and now that he see I'm
working and making progress,

all of a sudden
he wants to help and...

do stuff with me,
and be there for me.

Like, to me, he's a hypocrite.

And I didn't like that.

It may be my trust issues

to a certain extent but,

outside of my family,
my nurse,
he's really in my corner,

but the other people,
I really don't know them.

The reason why I don't
go outside without shoes

is because when I was younger,
I cut myself playing outside.

Ever since then,
I always wore shoes outside.

I'm not comfortable going
outside without my shoes.

I get there's people
who's trying to help me.

If I get my shoes, I'll go.

It's going
on three months since
last I talked to DeShaun.

I thought he quit four
months ago when he refused
to go to a local clinic.

I got more optimistic when
he answered one of my calls

and agreed to at least
start PT again.

But after one more session,
he quit again.

And now he's not picking up
any more calls from me

and I have appeared
to be blocked.

It looked like
he decided to quit

because he also stopped
answering the door for PT.

So, they stopped going to him
a couple months ago.

Even his mom is not
answering the calls
when I tried to call her.

So, at this point,
it is clear the choices
that DeShaun has made,

and that he has no interest
in changing his life.

We have given him
a chance to get healthy

and change his life
for the better.

And he doesn't want that.

And a lot of his family may
not want that for him either.

So, they may be saying
they want him to get better

and eat right and lose weight.

But at the same time,
they may be a negative
influence on him

because they only want
him to get a little better.

Multiple members of the family
are getting paid
to be his caregiver

and get to share
DeShaun's benefits.

When you have
a setup like that,
it is always a challenge

because other people
around him may not want
him to do too much

to improve his situation.

So, everyone,
including DeShaun,

is incentivized
to stay like that.

The problem is that
the situation is killing him.

So, DeShaun is headed
down the road that is not
gonna end well for him.

That road is gonna
come to dead-end soon

if nothing changes.

I'm always hopeful
that the most
self-destructive patients

will wake up and start
to make the changes they need

to save their life
before it's too late.

That's what I will keep
hoping for DeShaun.

But I think in this case,
with everything I
have seen from him,

I think it's very unlikely
that's gonna happen.