Original subtitles

For a long time, we were forgotten about.

We were the joke of the country, you know?

And now I think we're the ones kind of having the last laugh.

It's a magical, beautiful place to live,

and we're surrounded by amazing things.

♪

To be able to go outside and, you know,

go out and jig a fish or shoot a moose

or, you know, go out and pick some berries

and to be able to bring that to the table

and create a sense of place for people...

When they look out the window,

they know they're in Newfoundland.

♪

And it's just about, again, celebrating

all the wonderful things that we have.

And I think we're... we got a lot to celebrate, you know?

♪ I took a walk through this beautiful world ♪

♪ Felt the cool rain on my shoulder ♪

♪ Found something good in this beautiful world ♪

♪ I felt the rain getting colder ♪

♪

♪ Sha la la la la

♪ Sha la la la la la

♪ Sha la la la la

♪ Sha la la la la la la

This is the shed.

This is what every Newfoundlander...

You know, this is their hangout spot, is the shed,

oddly enough.

It's like an escape.

It's like a doghouse.

How do I say "Newfoundland"?

I got to get this right.

Understand, Newfoundland.

Everyone says that, but that's not helping me.

I'm gonna get my balls busted so bad.

Think of it like "New Fun Land."

New Fun Land.

- Newfoundland. - Yeah.

- Newfoundland. - There you go.

Not "New Found Land."

Not "New Found Land."

- Newfoundland. - Yeah.

Newfoundland,

a rocky island off the east coast of Canada

extending into the North Atlantic.

They might not be from here,

but chefs, restaurateurs, noted raconteurs

Fred Morin and Dave McMillan

were excited to explore

this wild and beautiful rock with me.

♪

It's a part of Canada all its own,

with its own distinctive history and culture.

So as entertaining as my Quebecoise friends might be,

I thought it wise to recruit some natives:

chef Jeremy Charles

and his partner, Jeremy Bonia.

It's an all-dude affair.

♪

What's on the menu today?

- Codfish. - Codfish.

Yeah. Or rather just fish.

- Just fish. - They're both fish.

We say, you know, fish is cod in Newfoundland, you know?

When you talk about fish, people just assume it's codfish.

♪

Living off the ocean is insane.

It's unbelievable when you get out here

and see and you're in the elements.

It makes you really respect people who work on the water.

You know what I mean?

Like, guys used to row out here.

- Yeah. - And, like, you know,

you just realize what it takes to get it to the restaurant.

It's not easy, right?

Respect the fish and chips a little bit more, right?

Respect the fish and chips, man.

For over 500 years,

the icy waters off Newfoundland's coast

overflowed with a seemingly endless bounty of cod.

Fishermen from all over...

As far away as England, Portugal, and Spain...

Came here to pull them from the sea.

They built entire food cultures

around the delicate, white-fleshed fish.

And for most of its history, cod defined the culture here.

Cod was king.

Ottawa is about to announce a moratorium on northern cod.

Small independents, big company trawlers,

all will have to pull their nets

and dock their boats.

But in 1992, after years of overfishing,

the Canadian government shut the industry down.

Six generations down the line, passed down,

and he's done nothing but...

The moratorium wiped out

the main source of income for the province

and ended a way of life.

And though it's been loosened some,

the moratorium is still in effect today.

What was the spirit of the people in '92?

Think about it; think about your number one industry.

No one could fish.

- Culture... - Nothing, zero.

It went from going out to jig a fish with your family

or whenever you wanted

to absolutely nothing.

So it just, like, tore the heart and soul out of people.

What did people change cod for?

Tilapia?

Can I ask this, though?

Was it warranted, the closing down of the fishery?

- Yeah. - It was.

Thing was, I mean, a lot of the in-shore small guys

were talking about it for years,

talking about, "We can't keep this up."

Like, the factory trawlers and the fisheries

were just getting bigger and bigger,

and it's like, how do you put a factory trawler

that's just dragging the seas...

Everything in the ocean.

From multiple countries, including our own,

for years and years and not have an effect?

It was very dark times.

- But better now. - Yes.

- Getting better. - Yeah.

From what we've seen...

And I've talked to fishermen in the bays and stuff...

Cod's coming back.

- Cod is king still. - Cod is still king.

What's your water dam?

140.

Okay, that's perfect. Let's give her a shot.

Let's start with two lines

and then see how much of a mess we've got with tide.

- I got a nibble. - There you go.

Lift that. Lift that rod.

Oh, there you go, Fred.

Nice one.

Wow.

Next one is a moose.

- No. - Okay, it's on.

- No, you got a big fish. - Go, go, go.

There you go. Oh, it's a nice-sized one.

1 down, 14 to go, was it?

Yeah, go ahead. You guys are drifting more east.

Oh, yeah, fish on. There we go.

I can see him there now.

♪

- All right. - Just keep him in the water.

All right.

Perfect. Well done yourself.

- Thank you, sir. - There you go.

- Oh, that's a nice size. - Yeah, that's... there you go.

Wow.

That's why these things went extinct;

they bite like crazy.

Here you go.

Well, I think that's

the most successful fishing scene I've had

in many, many years.

All right.

♪

We're surrounded by water,

and we're not really a seafood-eating place.

♪

We live in this fish culture.

It's been fishing here for hundreds of years.

And the fish was always not accessible to people here.

It was something that was always for export.

Right.

And so the fishery is changing a little bit.

I think as well, it was always just a single-species fishery,

and now that's diversifying.

- By necessity. - Yeah, absolutely.

And that's really important, 'cause we live on this island

where food security is an issue.

Dale Jarvis works for

the Intangible Cultural Heritage development office

for the province of Newfoundland and Labrador,

helping communities safeguard what they can

of traditional culture.

What's changed as far as...

the way that... I'm going to try to pronounce it correctly...

Newfendlers...

Newfoundlanders.

Newfoundlanders see themselves?

I mean, something seems to be happening here

as far as people here beginning to value their own products,

their own traditional food ways.

Yeah.

That's a big change,

and it's something that Jeremy Charles, for instance,

has been doing very, very, very successfully.

How important is that?

I think the one thing that has kept people here

in the wake of the fisheries collapse...

Like the fish moratorium in 1992,

so many people left.

And what really has kept people here

is that sense of tradition.

I think sometimes there's this idea

that tradition is static, and that isn't necessarily true.

Tradition is always kind of changing

in response to the environment.

And people choose the things that they're passionate about,

and they find a way to make that work.

And I think Newfoundlanders have always had that tradition

of making do and making things work

in the situation where they are.

Here at the family-owned-and-operated

Charles Landing,

the specialty is fish and chips.

♪

How's everything taste today?

Really good, thank you.

- Thank you very much. - Glad to hear.

Homemade fries, always a good thing.

How Canadian is Newfoundland?

You know, we have this kind of complex relationship

here in Newfoundland with the rest of Canada.

You know, we're a very old British colony here,

but we've only really been part of Canada since 1949.

And I think for a long time, on the mainland of Canada,

there was kind of this stereotype of Newfoundlanders

as being, you know, poor and uneducated,

kind of that goofy Newfy stereotype kind of stuff

that happened.

And over the past 10, 20 years,

there's been a real shift

in how the rest of Canada perceives Newfoundland

but I think also

as how Newfoundlanders perceive themselves.

And people, I think, are starting to say,

"Hey, we don't have to just import food

from, you know, the United States or Canada."

You know, the stuff that we have here,

the ingredients that we have here

are actually pretty special.

You could actually shoot a bird

and serve it in a restaurant.

If you do that in Montreal, you get arrested.

You can shoot rabbits and serve them in restaurants.

Yeah, we have the benefit of that here, yeah.

This is an enormous and unique advantage.

♪

Back at the shed, a classic fish and brewis.

A hearty sailor's stew of cod and hardtack.

- Sweet. - Look at that.

- Whoa. - What's this?

- Scrunchions. - Scrunchions.

Scrunchions?

Salted pork fat.

They're crisp.

- Oh, God. - Isn't that ridiculous?

Oh, I need to sit around

in, like, some shit-stained underwear.

Sit there in front of a television

and eat those all day long.

Ahhhhh!

You'll have to change, then, before jujitsu,

those same underwear.

- As one must. - Yes.

Well, look at that. It's beautiful.

Are you searching for the parts?

Yeah, just kind of get a bit of everything.

Garnished with scrunchions?

- Soigné. - Yeah.

It's pretty much the dish, you know?

- Thank you. - Damn, this is delicious.

Oh, good? You like it?

- Yeah. - Excellent.

Oh, so good.

My grandmother would be happy it's good.

♪

Hunting is very much part of the culture here.

Traditionally, you hunted to eat, to stay warm,

to survive.

And there is no game more prized

than the moose.

Just over 300 miles from the capital of St. John's,

about a seven-hour drive

through some beautiful, if rugged and wild, country,

is Buchans.

From what we are told,

it's prime moose hunting.

♪

A beautiful lake,

rustic cabins

where a few friends can hunt and forage

and perhaps, in between combing the wilds

in search of the elusive moose,

throw together a simple wilderness meal

around the campfire.

♪

Nothing fancy.

Just the bare essentials.

We're drinking Sacrament from Prince Edward County, Ontario.

Hinterland winery.

And we're also drinking a wine from here,

the Maritimes, Nova Scotia.

It's a Benjamin Bridge Metered Classic rosé.

Roughing it in usual style.

Cheers, gentlemen.

Are we fessing up to having a successful hunt?

- Cheers. - Welcome to Newfoundland, boys.

If this is failure, I want more.

♪

Thankfully, fully aware of my jinx-like effect

on on-camera hunting scenes,

the boys have stocked our larder

with many delicious things, so we're covered.

Whoa.

Cotechina?

Finocchiona.

Fino... what?

What did you call me?

Finocchio.

Wow, that's awesome.

Yeah.

You often eat in the rain?

Like I said, you're in Newfoundland.

It was Miami, like, five minutes ago.

You don't come here for the weather.

Literally five minutes ago, it was, like, sunglasses.

And that's... That's Newfoundland.

Four seasons in one day.

How many times have you been here?

I've never been here.

- No. - No, never.

Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.

This is your first time...

Our first time in Newfoundland.

We've tried to come on a couple of occasions,

but no, we've never been here.

Proud Canadians.

This is not one of the destinations

that a Canadian ends up in.

And yet you decided to open a fine-dining restaurant

that, by definition, is seasonal

and requires at least a significant part

of your clientele to get on a plane

and make the kind of commitment that these

clearly have not made.

And this is them!

Yeah, I mean, we just plan to do what we love to do

and cook good food and celebrate Newfoundland product.

And where do these oysters hail from?

- These are Beau Soleil oysters. - Beau Soleil, yeah.

Named after the early Manson family killer?

Was there a Beausoleil in the Manson family?

Bobby Beausoleil.

In fact, the entire Manson family's killings

were designed to draw suspicion away from Bobby Beausoleil.

I was always a fan of Squeaky Fromme.

They just let Leslie Van Houten out of the joint.

Correct.

And I hear she likes camping.

♪

Fred and Dave do not travel light.

♪

Previously acquired stunt moose,

the legs slow-roasted over an open fire,

the ribs of the same beast braised on the coals,

and natural gravy simmers away.

A cured ham bought from our generous friend

Marc Tampica in Montreal.

♪

But first, cans.

Oh, my good God. Look at that thing.

It's a jellied foie gras.

Look at this thing. Jesus.

This is the proof of our low self-esteem.

A tureen of wild hare drizzled with sauce.

What... what... what...

Another tureen of pheasant, wild duck, and guinea hen

loaded with pleasing hunks of foie gras.

Oh, look at that.

A wild boar tureen.

- Do you have boars here? - No.

- Hogzillas? - No.

That's another thing...

"Hogzilla"?

I think it would be an amazing legacy

for Joe Beef to introduce a foreign species

to Newfoundland.

I think that's awesome.

Like, that's the kind of shit people don't do anymore.

Mmm.

Wow.

So you're mixing canned and fresh truffle.

Yeah, because we can,

the same reason the dog eats his ass.

'Cause he can.

After a humiliation in the wild

as severe as ours, as sporting gentlemen,

it is required that we discharge our weapons.

Yeah! Repeatedly.

In this case, at nonliving things.

All right, pull.

Got a fish.

Okay, pull.

What are the symptoms of lead poisoning?

Uh, inability to hit a skeet?

Pull.

It's a bad place for hippies to go camp

on the other side.

Yeah.

Pull.

Pull.

Pull.

Is that the stuff you learn in West Virginistan?

Our main course arrives

as the temperature drops.

Moose shoulder and ribs,

neck braised in red wine,

wild mushrooms, and grilled Scotch lovage

for the essential vegetable component.

And roast chestnuts, bacon, and pearl onions.

Whoa. Look at that. It's gorgeous.

We didn't shoot a moose, but we're gonna taste a moose.

That's good.

Wow.

Yeah, that's.

- Who's that? - Thank you.

Wow, it's good.

Moose meat, best meat. Number one meat in the world.

No better meat than the moose. That's for sure.

♪

- Wow. - Yeah.

This is amazing.

♪

I think that it's a treat and it's...

I've said for years that moose meat is the best meat,

the champagne of animal proteins.

You're right. It is something special.

Don't even mind the rain anymore.

Look at that. Like, what is that?

It's amazing. It's a gray jay.

He'll just hop in your hand.

- Would he? - He might.

Put something in your hand, and he'll get it.

Look, he's on the camera.

I want... I really want to do this.

He's gone? Oh, he's on...

Oh, he's on Tony's head.

Animals love me.

I told you.

I'm like St. Francis of Assisi.

Oh, look, they really are hitting the ham.

Oh, this could get ugly really quickly.

Next thing you know, they're pecking our eyeballs out

and tunneling up our asses.

63 feet.

Okay. We're ready to go.

Thank you, sir. What are we drinking?

A little Benjamin Bridge

out of Nova Scotia.

- Cheers. - Gentlemen, cheers.

To the queen.

No, I hate the aristocracy, man.

They don't have long.

Raymonds in St. John's is probably

the best-known, most celebrated restaurant in Newfoundland.

It's gotten the region

national, even international attention

with its hyper-localized, wildly creative menus.

Wow, this is exciting.

Whoa. Wow.

Seafood tower. Yes!

Razor clams, snow crab, mussels, capelin, whelk,

and sea urchin.

Oh, look at that.

Little plump sacs of goodness.

Oh, God, that's good.

Boquerones, I'm very excited about as well.

Whelks is my game.

- Really? - Oh, love 'em.

The boquerones are quite remarkable.

This is really good.

I'm gonna pass the tuna around.

I like the little berries.

It's funny; there's no oysters on this or clams, which is...

- Right. - Refreshing.

I don't think I've ever seen that.

No. It's only local.

Here you go.

Today we're just gonna do

just a scallop crudo.

Basically raw scallops

just with a salt, fresh herbs, and a few simple garnishes.

It doesn't need much.

It is what it is, you know?

Speaks for itself.

Ready?

For me, the ocean, the definition of the ocean,

when I think of the ocean, I think of New England,

the northern part of France.

You know, magnificent, steel gray, intimidating.

♪

It's the coldest [...] water.

Iceland? Here?

- Sterile. - Northern Europe?

- Northern Atlantic. - Right.

- It's where it's all about. - Yeah.

Or for me, it was always where it's all about.

There's no draggers, no nothing.

You know, friends of mine who gear up

and who are crazy enough to jump in the Atlantic Ocean

and go to the bottom,

they emerge with these baskets of beautiful scallops.

All right, let's get started.

Look at them.

The nerves are still in it.

See it there?

Fresh scallop.

Just want to keep it pretty simple, you know?

They're delicious.

You can't get much fresher than that.

No, I would say.

I myself, I take it on myself

to turn it into nasturtium tacos.

Tacos of scallop.

I love nasturtiums.

Wow.

- We're eating Newfoundland. - Yeah.

We're so fortunate here in Newfoundland and Labrador

to be able to serve wild game...

Moose, rabbits, partridge, grouse.

It's a really big part, big staple

of our menu, obviously.

It's the reason why

the restaurant's pretty much open, you know?

Nowhere else in the country you can do that.

Heart of caribou tartar

with Adler and chanterelle.

I'm enjoying this meal.

Yeah, man, it's...

Very, very, very much.

This is really, really good.

Jeremy Charles, in my opinion,

honestly, I would say easily top chef in Canada,

most likely, you know?

As a model of bravery, determination, courage, pride.

And not a false note.

We've not had anything that's not from this island.

What we got here is the cod sound.

It's the swim bladder of the codfish.

Just goes right up the middle of the fish.

We've been toying around with this for a long time.

This is almost like boot leather, you know?

It's really, really tough.

So we'll salt it overnight.

Then we'll soak it, and then we'll dehydrate it.

And this is the part of you're left with.

It's almost like a chicharrón type of texture, you know?

But my grandmother, she'd probably just

render up pork fat scrunchions,

and they just fry these off, you know?

So what we'll do then is, we'll drop that in the oil.

And it's gonna puff up, become this beautiful chip.

Charred whelk with [indistinct]

And crispy cod sounds.

What was this? Sound, floating bladder.

Bladder. Yeah, I like that.

Mmm, good. Bladder.

- It's what? - Fried bladder.

Smell it, though. It's good.

It's delicious.

The onslaught of food continues.

Cod fillet with cod liver [indistinct],

partridge profiteroles,

and this, the classic Newfoundland staple,

Jiggs dinner, reinvented into a pasta dish.

It's beautiful. Oh, it's good.

Mmm.

- It's spectacular. - Yeah.

I'll go so far as saying

it's the best pasta I've ever eaten.

Wow.

The pasta itself is extraordinary.

Even the detail in this room is amazing.

Even the carpets, if you notice.

No!

We have a pair for you.

No way.

That's super creepy. I'm alarmed.

As you step away from the urinal,

are you shaking the last couple of drops...

- Yes. - On my face every time?

Wow, I don't know what to say.

I'm stunned.

Last but not least, it's chanterelle ice cream.

- Oh, it's good. - Mmm.

Ooh.

It tastes like farmer's daughter.

That musty funk, you know, in the hayloft?

That was spectacular ice cream, though, for real.

I'm, like... I'm mad at you for not having made this already.

No, no, no.

You're the king of soft-serve flavors,

but you've not done chanterelle ice cream?

Fred, I'm kind of pissed.

Tons of it. You just never pay attention.

It's kind of dirty

in a good way.

I mean, a really good way.

♪

I hope they don't find that 8-ball.

♪

How long is the flight?

Just about 45 minutes.

45 minutes?

That's enough to see, you know,

all the good films that Michael Bay ever made.

I'm going to France.

Not like Francophone Canada but France.

Really.

A little bit of actual France

sitting about 45 minutes offshore.

The islands of Saint Pierre and Miquelon,

France's last foothold in North America.

French cars, French food,

pay in Euros, and French attitude.

♪

♪

We have a French way of life here, really.

We eat French. I think we think French also.

Almost.

Our hosts on this otherwise male-centric brocation

are Maite and her friend Hilary.

People around here don't eat out much.

Instead, most cook at home, often with friends.

This is sea urchin paté.

- Yes! - What?

Paté d'oursin, a sea urchin paté.

Plump sacs of roe fresh off the beach

formed into a loaf

and cooked with bread, garlic, and onions.

And utterly delicious.

- Look at that. - This is a try.

Wow, it's pretty.

Look at that.

Wow, it's sensational.

- You like it? - Mmm, fantastic.

- Good. - Wow, that's good.

You know, this is a kind of dish for real we should do.

That's a very good idea.

Urchins, transform it all at once

when it's at the peak of freshness,

make a solid paté, and serve it slice by slice

like foie gras, you know?

My mind's already racing. Urchin sausages.

Steal this recipe, dude. This is good.

Well, we'll have to call it Paté Maite.

Well, my goodness. What an honor.

I don't have copyrights on that, because it's local.

- Classic. - Really traditional food here.

It is that you've had this all your life?

- Yes. - Wow.

♪

Stuffed squid over rice.

♪

Oh! This is family style.

- Nice! - Wowee.

Wow, look at that.

♪

Wow. Thank you.

♪

Mmm. Do you want some rice with it?

Wow.

You know, traditional and family meal.

Yeah. You're an amazing cook.

- Thank you. - This is really great.

Maybe you're gonna have to open a small, little restaurant.

Did you ever think of that?

Well, I'm planning to open a pastry shop.

- Really? - Yeah.

You bake as well?

♪

Braised halibut... Simple and perfect.

- Halibut. - Wow, look at that.

♪

Are these are potatoes from here?

From France.

Oh, no. We would like to.

Le Charlotte? La belle de Fontenay?

Your knowledge of tubers is dazzling.

Fred has an incredible amount of pedantic knowledge

about several subjects.

Oh, wow. This is great.

♪

♪

At this point, there's only one thing missing.

Oh, wow. Wow!

- No way. - Local cheese.

Glorious cheese.

And this is...

This is a tart, creme de mon.

- With urchins. - No.

With baked apples and blackberries from here.

Fantastic.

♪

You have to open a little [inaudible]

Or something like that.

You have so much talent in cooking and sourcing

and talking about it.

Don't stick to the pastry shop.

That's my gut feeling.

I want to talk to you about financials as well.

I want to talk to you about how, when you say "tea shop,"

there's no money in it.

You have to sell wine.

Make a small wine bar.

A wine bar is a license to print money.

Wow. Thank you, guys.

Thank you so much.

I'm so happy with this cheese.

The meal in general, all of it was fantastic.

I'm so happy.

This is what I needed.

This is really a throwback.

This is the sort of meal

you have a hard time finding in France now.

- Yeah. - Correct me if I'm wrong.

You really have a hard time

finding a true, proud French regional meal.

It's incredibly difficult.

I am, above all things, a man of the people,

a regular Joe,

a man as moved by a simple slab of Mom's meatloaf

as I am of lark's tongues in aspic

studded with truffles

and moistened with the tears of baby unicorn.

Big R's provides the local version of comfort food

that all of us... Chefs and regulars...

Want and need.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong.

The indigenous specialties would be the Jiggs dinner.

Yeah.

And we got to get the Funyuns, the bunions.

The scrunchions. Scrunchions?

The truncheons, the...

You think they can whip up

some beets and goat cheese for me?

♪

Fried baloney.

And don't sneer. It's awesome.

♪

And you got to have some fried clam strips...

For Dave, anyway.

Liver and onions for Fred.

♪

Pan-fried cods tongues.

♪

They call it a Jiggs dinner,

perhaps the ultimate Newfoundland classic,

like a pot-au-feu or a New England boiled dinner...

Basically boiled salt beef, cabbage, turnips, potatoes,

and peas pudding topped with gravy...

Preferably, lots of gravy.

♪

Oh, this is magnificent.

This is something you'd have at your grandmother's house.

Really? It's basically pot-au-feu.

It's beautiful.

And one gravies this without apologies.

Yeah, no apologies.

♪

Oh, that's good. Yeah.

I love this gravy.

Give the boys the recipe

for the Joe Beef Swiss chard.

Oh, it's amazing.

A lot of Swiss chard in the restaurant.

And the gardens as well.

And for years and years and years,

we used to serve it to customers,

and they never liked it.

Wow.

So what we started doing is, we split the stems

from the greens.

We'll take the stems.

We'll blanch them, like, in the Presto oven.

Then we'll juice them.

Mmm! I'm happy.

We'll take the juice, reduce it.

Then we'll char lightly the leaves.

- Clam strip. - Thank you kindly.

We'll chop them, season it,

and we'll combine both with a bit of butter.

Swap you a little bit of baloney for a clam strip.

You okay with that? I'm going in.

Sometimes we put the peppers

and smoke in the smoker.

All right. Cheers.

We'll bake it in the oven

with parmesan cheese and breadcrumb,

and then we'll toss it in the garbage.

Immediately.

♪

You know what I like to do

on a sausage-fest-themed show like this one?

I like to get liquored up and throw axes at a target,

hoping, of course, they don't bounce off

and sink into my groin

or somebody else's groin.

I hate when that happens.

Have you done this before?

I've thrown axes. I throw axes.

Yeah, I had a throwing ax board

in the back of Joe Beef

until I realized it wasn't really safe.

♪

Try not to cut your own ear off?

You want to draw back nice and slow over your head.

Lean right in. When your arm is straight out

and it's parallel with the ground...

- That's when you release. - That's it.

Is there a William Tell kind of story in Newfoundland

with a cod over the head

and a father that threw the ax?

Not yet. Not yet.

Do it proud.

Go, Fred.

Watch your head, there.

All right, so far, we kind of suck.

This is not encouraging.

Try the double hand, yeah.

Oh, that was close.

You know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna put my ax to good use

and cut a little bit of that Muenster cheese.

Now you're talking.

Let's have a little pork and stinky cheese.

We'll become Thor, the thunder god.

Mmm.

Oh, here we go. I'm gonna try again.

I will get this right.

We're going back to drinking after this;

I can tell you right now.

Something I excel at.

- Oh, yes. - Oh!

Wow.

Now I'm making my David tattoo even bigger.

I'm gonna concentrate.

I'm gonna think of someone I really, really,

really, really, really hate.

- Yes! - Oh!

Oh, [...].

Oh, [...] you.

You look like a serial killer.

Well, he killed a two-pack.

Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye!

Yeah!

Let's bring the Royal Order of Screeches to order.

One final bit of business remains

in this enchanted land called Newfoundland:

an ancient and solemn ritual reserved for newcomers,

an official welcome, an initiation,

a way of saying, "You are welcome.

You are maybe now one of us."

Oh, there's fire involved.

It's always fun when there's fire involved.

I feel much better about this.

Today I will be screeched in.

I do need you to take a small piece

of Newfoundland steak.

- Is it organic? - Yes, of course, yes.

Do not worry about it if you're vegetarian;

there's not much meat in it.

Thank you kindly.

And David and Tony.

And David.

- Thank you very much. - You're welcome.

♪

In 1497, there was a man by the name of John Cabot.

John Cabot sailed the Atlantic on his boat, the "Matthew,"

all the way from Bristol, England,

to Bonavista Bay.

And when he arrived, he saw lots of activity

in our water.

Now, he didn't know what was going on,

but he dropped his bucket down to fill it up with water,

and when it came up to the top of the boat,

it was filled right to the rim with codfish.

Now, word got out fast

how plentiful the fish were in our waters

that they traveled from all over to settled here

and to catch the fish, sell the fish,

trade the fish all around the world

as a means of survival.

And one place in particular that we traded with

was with Jamaica,

'cause in Jamaica, they make rum,

and we loved rum.

We loved it so much

that we would actually get on that wharf,

and we'd kiss the fish good-bye,

knowing that it was coming back to us in the way of rum.

So in keeping with that time and honored tradition,

I do have a little buddy for you to meet.

It's a Gremlin.

This is a real Newfoundland codfish.

Given the chance, this fish could have grown up

to the height of 6 feet tall

and weighed as much as 130 pounds.

This fish won't grow any more than this,

because it's dead.

I do need you all to pucker up

and give this fish a little kiss.

Excellent. Fred, there we go.

On the lips?

You're best to go first and last.

And by Jesus, keep that tongue in your mouth.

Did you name your fish Valtrex?

I will now.

You were just in a strip club, though, right?

Were you... were you...

Where did you put that mouth?

Tony, you can't catch it twice.

Oh, here, me darling.

Oh, my God, Vince.

Come on, love. Lick up.

This is like an aphrodisiac for you two.

Okay!

And we can't have a drink without having a toast,

so please wait till everybody gets their shot,

and we'll do it together.

Okay.

So here's to health and your company

and one for the lasses.

Let's drink and be merry all out of our glasses.

Let's drink and be merry, bad thoughts to refrain,

for we may or may not ever all be here again.

Up to the lips. Over the gums.

Look out, gullet. Here she comes.

Flush her back.

Okay, now I now declare you all honorary Newfoundlanders.

Awesome. There we go.

♪ Oh, well, I's the b'y that builds the boat ♪

♪ And I's the b'y that sails her ♪

♪ And I's the b'y that catches the fish ♪

♪ And brings it home to Liza

♪ Hip yer partner, Sally Thibault ♪

♪ Hip yer partner, Sally Brown

♪ Fogo, Twillingate, Moreton's Harbour ♪

♪ All around the circle

♪ I took Liza to a dance as fast as she could travel ♪

♪ Every step that she did take was up to her knees in gravel ♪

♪ Hip yer partner, Sally Thibault ♪

♪ Hip yer partner, Sally Brown ♪

♪ Fogo, Twillingate, Moreton's Harbour ♪

♪ All around the circle

♪ I don't want your maggoty fish ♪

♪ They're no good for winter

♪ But I can buy as good as that way down in Bonavista ♪

♪ Hip yer partner, Sally Thibault ♪

♪ Hip yer partner, Sally Brown ♪

♪ Fogo, Twillingate, Moreton's Harbour ♪

♪ All around the circle