All language subtitles for Rick.and.Morty.S09E01.Theres.Something.About.Morty.WEB-DL.HMAX.en-US[sdh]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,586 --> 00:00:05,631 [ Chicago's "Saturday in the Park" plays ] 2 00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:07,132 {\an8}♪♪ 3 00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:08,634 [ Slurping ] 4 00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:11,053 {\an8}♪♪ 5 00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:13,305 Aah! 6 00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:13,305 [ Laughs ] 7 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:17,142 Don't tell her, though, that I said anything to you. 8 00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,560 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 9 00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:19,937 [ Slurps ] Ahh! 10 00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:22,147 You know, Rick, I don't give 7-Eleven enough credit. 11 00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:24,107 You see what those ones look like in Asia? 12 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,984 Like -- Like little grocery stores? 13 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,070 Morty. W-W-What's that, pal? 14 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,656 Y-Yeah, the new pool's pretty great. 15 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:32,741 Who ya texting? 16 00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:33,742 Nobody. 17 00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:35,244 Nobody? 18 00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:37,162 Yeah. Nobody. 19 00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:37,162 Okay, fine. 20 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:38,497 Kind of a weird response. 21 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,332 It's not weird. Privacy is a thing. 22 00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:42,376 Says the guy who puts cameras everywhere. 23 00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:43,877 Whatever. W-What you building in here? 24 00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:45,712 Freeze ray? 25 00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:45,712 Kinda actually. 26 00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,631 Making a beer that chills itself -- 27 00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,631 [ Yelps ] 28 00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:49,341 Morty! 29 00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:49,341 Why are you being weird?! 30 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,176 Let go of my phone, Morty! 31 00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:52,177 [ Glass shattering ] 32 00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,012 Who are you texting?! 33 00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:56,306 Nobody! 34 00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:58,016 Uch! Son of a -- Come on! 35 00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,560 [ Cellphone dings ] 36 00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:00,561 What the fuck?! 37 00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,646 It's fine. 38 00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,646 The fuck it's fine! 39 00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,523 It's fine! 40 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:08,735 {\an8}♪♪ 41 00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:15,659 {\an8}♪♪ 42 00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:21,540 {\an8}♪♪ 43 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:28,463 {\an8}♪♪ 44 00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:36,138 {\an8}♪♪ 45 00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:38,056 {\an8}You're texting with that guy? 46 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,392 {\an8}It's stupid, Morty. Seriously. It's nothing. 47 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,811 {\an8}Evil Morty's dangerous. And evil. 48 00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:45,564 {\an8}Exactly. Which is why sometimes he reaches out 49 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,399 {\an8}and threatens to erase our family... 50 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,818 {\an8}unless I... help him with stuff. 51 00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:51,278 {\an8}You work for that guy?! 52 00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:53,322 {\an8}He's like a Q that makes me do things for him. 53 00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,949 {\an8}You know Q, Morty? From "Star Trek." 54 00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:58,869 {\an8}Okay, so imagine a cosmic gay guy 55 00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:00,287 {\an8}obsessed with chess. 56 00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:02,956 {\an8}[ Cellphone buzzes ] 57 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,416 {\an8}You gonna pick that up? 58 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,626 {\an8}You gonna make this weird? 59 00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:07,210 {\an8}I'm not allowed to be concerned? 60 00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:08,754 {\an8}You sound insane right now. 61 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:11,089 {\an8}Hello? Shit. 62 00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:13,508 {\an8}What, you don't answer my calls now? 63 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:14,760 {\an8}Hi, Morty. 64 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,470 {\an8}Yeah. Feeling's mutual. 65 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:19,139 {\an8}Rick, I'm not interrupting something, am I? 66 00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:22,100 {\an8}I was just catching Morty here up on our... 67 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,269 {\an8}off-screen exploits. 68 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,563 {\an8}You two don't share everything as a couple? 69 00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:28,523 {\an8}You know I hate you, right? 70 00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:28,523 {\an8}I do. 71 00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:30,692 {\an8}It's why I try to just text. 72 00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:33,153 Let's go. 73 00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:36,531 What the heck? Morty, 74 00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:37,866 you want to come on this one? 75 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,910 At your own risk obviously. 76 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:41,953 You know what? Yeah, I will. 77 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,538 Morty. 78 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,538 Cool. 79 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,835 {\an8}I think we can take him. 80 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,835 "We"? 81 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,253 {\an8}Fuck you. I'm helpful. 82 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,672 {\an8}Evil Morty: You guys scheming over there? 83 00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:52,839 {\an8}Yes. 84 00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:52,839 {\an8}No. 85 00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:54,925 {\an8}Right. Morty, you haven't seen this. 86 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:57,678 {\an8}Anything happens to me? 87 00:02:57,761 --> 00:03:01,390 {\an8}Gone. Forever. Across all infinity. 88 00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:05,936 {\an8}Dude, they just sit there? Always? 89 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,896 {\an8}They're from an ideal hostage dimension 90 00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:10,232 {\an8}where everyone's super-trusting and never has to shit. 91 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:12,150 {\an8}There's no Morty. 92 00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:14,111 {\an8}If he erases you, he erases himself. 93 00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,696 {\an8}Can we move this along? 94 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,699 {\an8}There's a guy eating the multiverse. 95 00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:20,575 {\an8}There's always a guy eating the multiverse. 96 00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:22,327 {\an8}His name is Frumblewurmple. 97 00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:23,620 {\an8}Rick: No, it's not. 98 00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:23,620 {\an8}It's not. 99 00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,872 {\an8}It calls itself "The Collective." 100 00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:28,208 {\an8}At some point, it'll reach the Central Finite Curve. 101 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:29,459 {\an8}Then it'll be our problem. 102 00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,169 {\an8}More exposition than I expected. 103 00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:32,254 {\an8}He does this to torture me. 104 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:33,922 {\an8}No portals. 105 00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:35,507 {\an8}This thing absorbs our stuff and learns to make its own 106 00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,592 {\an8}and we're fucked. You're driving. 107 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,223 {\an8}Do you guys usually talk or... 108 00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:45,183 {\an8}is it different because I'm here? 109 00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,518 {\an8}Morty. 110 00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,518 {\an8}We usually talk. 111 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,729 {\an8}It's boring physics stuff, Morty. 112 00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:52,441 {\an8}And you two defend the Central Finite Curve together? 113 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,443 Since when do you care about anything? 114 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,111 I don't. That's why I make him do it. 115 00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:57,863 Thank dick, we're here. 116 00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:03,410 [ Rumbling ] 117 00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,871 [ Aliens screaming ] 118 00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:08,707 [ Crash ] 119 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:09,875 [ Dog whines ] 120 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,382 [ Screaming ] 121 00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:20,260 [ Ominous music plays ] 122 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:21,428 Uhp, it sees us. 123 00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,513 [ Rumbling ] 124 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,267 [ Air whooshes ] 125 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:28,643 Get in the suit. 126 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:28,643 What?! 127 00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:30,353 Morty, this is multiversal galactic shit. 128 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,897 I have to focus a little harder than usual. 129 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,648 Get in the suit. 130 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,648 Make him wear the suit! 131 00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:35,650 Evil Morty doesn't need the suit. 132 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,695 Morty, get in the suit or go home. 133 00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,822 [ Grunting ] 134 00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:42,449 Oh, it disappears. That's nifty. 135 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,493 What's that? Nano-mesh? How's he breathing? 136 00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,203 It recycles the oxygen internally. 137 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:47,287 Can he piss in there? 138 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,330 He can piss in there. 139 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:49,873 I won't need to. 140 00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:53,293 {\an8}♪♪ 141 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,086 [ Explosions ] 142 00:04:55,128 --> 00:05:02,969 {\an8}♪♪ 143 00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:05,806 Okay. Sample container's done. Should be absorption-proof. 144 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:08,308 Huh. Pretty small. 145 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:08,308 Nice. Good stuff, Morty. 146 00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,894 Very helpful. 147 00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,894 Load your fucking thing in. 148 00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:17,275 {\an8}♪♪ 149 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,277 All set. 150 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,277 Let's wrap this up. 151 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:23,573 {\an8}♪♪ 152 00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:27,619 You are tremendous to be attempting this. 153 00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:30,664 It will be an honor to absorb you. 154 00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:31,623 Oh! 155 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:34,042 [ Pounding on windshield ] 156 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:35,669 Don't let it touch you. 157 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,671 Oh! 158 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:38,672 {\an8}♪♪ 159 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:39,422 [ Grunts ] 160 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:40,632 Oh! Oh! Oh! 161 00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,425 -[ Growls ] -Car, clear out. 162 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,927 UFO: Way ahead of you. 163 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,927 Morty: Aah! 164 00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:44,970 {\an8}♪♪ 165 00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:47,806 [ Screaming ] 166 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:54,563 {\an8}♪♪ 167 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,314 You can't outrun me. 168 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:58,149 You'll be me. 169 00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:01,278 {\an8}♪♪ 170 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,487 Yah! 171 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,906 {\an8}♪♪ 172 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:08,285 [ Screaming ] 173 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,787 {\an8}♪♪ 174 00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,414 [ Grunts ] 175 00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,416 [ Morty screaming ] 176 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:16,835 Oh! Aah! 177 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,169 [ Yelling ] 178 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,296 [ Grunts ] 179 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:21,172 [ Grunting ] 180 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:24,843 {\an8}♪♪ 181 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:25,969 [ Groans ] 182 00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:29,723 {\an8}♪♪ 183 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,183 I'm am The Collective! 184 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,185 [ Screaming ] 185 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,396 Uh! 186 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,148 Riiiiick! 187 00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:39,983 Aah! Ooh! 188 00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:42,360 {\an8}♪♪ 189 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,112 [ Explosion ] 190 00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:45,947 [ Spits ] 191 00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:46,990 H-Hey! 192 00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:48,491 [ Screams ] 193 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:49,618 {\an8}♪♪ 194 00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:52,412 Morty: Oh! Oh, I get it. 195 00:06:52,495 --> 00:07:00,462 {\an8}♪♪ 196 00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:02,505 The Collective: Ahhhh. 197 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:03,924 Aah! Ahh! 198 00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,258 {\an8}♪♪ 199 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:07,010 Evil Morty: Plant these charges. 200 00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:10,847 [ Grunting ] 201 00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:13,558 The Collective: [ Grunts ] 202 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:17,020 We have absorbed countless technologies, 203 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:18,313 Rick Sanchez. 204 00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,606 One of them will be your equal. 205 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,024 Nice of you to explain. 206 00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:23,026 The more you understand of The Collective, 207 00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:26,529 the easier you will be for The Collective to absorb. 208 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:27,822 Lucky me. 209 00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,282 {\an8}♪♪ 210 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,326 [ Screaming ] 211 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:32,577 [ Sniffing ] 212 00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,704 This is me, but it is coating 213 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:37,874 something that is not me. 214 00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,377 Morty: Uh, we -- we are The C-Collective. 215 00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:42,796 I am The -- The Collective. 216 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,005 [ Sighs ] 217 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:47,133 I did not say or think those things. 218 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:50,553 And I don't think I sound like that. 219 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:53,848 What are these? 220 00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:57,602 Uh, definitely not, uh, charges of some kind. 221 00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,771 I think that's exactly what they are. 222 00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:02,691 I will absorb them. 223 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,193 Shit. 224 00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:08,279 I am the threads of time, 225 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,490 bound and perfected. 226 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:14,035 And your time is up! 227 00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:17,080 {\an8}♪♪ 228 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,916 [ Grunting ] 229 00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:22,293 Aah! 230 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,420 Ugh! What?! 231 00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:25,588 I do not understand. 232 00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,465 I am The Collective. 233 00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,676 I absorb all. 234 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,303 Right. And you just absorbed a compression algorithm. 235 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,638 What?! 236 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,807 Now you'll absorb yourself -- forever. 237 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,394 [ Groaning ] 238 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:40,687 Impossible! 239 00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,480 I am The Collective! 240 00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,107 Oh! Uh! 241 00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:46,985 No! I am The Collect-- 242 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,154 Aaahhhh! 243 00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:52,741 Way to get captured. 244 00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:53,992 Obviously not my fault. 245 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,952 You really fucked me there, Morty. 246 00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:58,371 [ Mockingly ] "Uh, definitely not, uh, charges of some kind." 247 00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:01,332 It was stressful. Okay? Th-- That was -- Geez! 248 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,834 Although getting captured kind of worked out. 249 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,044 I didn't mind it. 250 00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:05,712 I liked talking to that guy. 251 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,881 Yeah, way better than the dude from last week. 252 00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:10,508 So you -- you guys do stuff like that together 253 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,510 a -- a lot? 254 00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:13,970 Only sometimes. 255 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:16,181 Oh. 256 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:16,181 Should we hit a diner? 257 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,349 Is that crazy? G-Get some waffles? 258 00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:19,684 What?! No! 259 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:22,228 Rick, tell Morty we're getting waffles. 260 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:25,648 [ Upbeat music playing ] 261 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:29,402 {\an8}♪♪ 262 00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:30,779 Something to drink? 263 00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:33,782 One, uh -- two milkshakes, actually. 264 00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:36,534 -Coffee with vodka in it. -Amen. 265 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:37,744 You have fun, Morty? 266 00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,412 Today was actually a pretty good one. 267 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,914 And you only threw us off a little. 268 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,665 My apologies. 269 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,665 All good. 270 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,834 Me and Rick just have a...rhythm. 271 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,544 It's a fiercely unsteady truce, Morty. 272 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,713 Either of us could backstab the other at any time. 273 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,548 I get why he never looped you in. 274 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,717 I mean, if I'm calling this guy... 275 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,469 must be this tall to ride, you know? 276 00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:55,762 I'm sure. 277 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:56,721 Don't let him rile you up, Morty. 278 00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,473 It's all dumb. 279 00:09:58,515 --> 00:09:59,766 Mostly just levitating with power 280 00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,601 and screaming as our eyes glow. 281 00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,144 Sometimes we do a huge beam together. 282 00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:04,896 What even are you? 283 00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:04,896 Jesus! 284 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,023 May I go to the bathroom, please? 285 00:10:07,065 --> 00:10:08,858 I gotta give these waffles some runway. 286 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:11,486 What do I look like -- the bad guy? 287 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,905 You are permitted. 288 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,282 He's a big softie once you get to know him, huh? 289 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:19,077 Even showed me some... time travel stuff. 290 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,079 I'm gonna shove these waffles up your ass, pal! 291 00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:22,914 Heavens! 292 00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:22,914 What the fuck are you doing here? 293 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,290 Y-You gonna replace me? 294 00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:25,834 I'm not sure what you're talking about. 295 00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,085 Uh-huh! Home-wrecker! 296 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,712 You see this? All this messy... 297 00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,631 whatever this is... 298 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,424 it's weakness. 299 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,424 Fuck you. 300 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,759 Ha! You know what? 301 00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:36,136 Maybe I will steal your grandpa. 302 00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:37,971 But not because I love him. 303 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:40,265 Because you do. Here we go. 304 00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:42,809 Two milkshakes for the two kinds of Mortys -- 305 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,602 the one who does whatever he wants 306 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,063 and the one who sucks my grandpa's dick. 307 00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:49,357 You know what? I'll drink both milkshakes. 308 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,068 Just took a shit so big, it changed my brain chemistry. 309 00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:54,237 W-What are we doing? We order those waffles yet? 310 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,530 Can we go? 311 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,530 Morty... 312 00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:56,948 I took such a nice shit. 313 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,825 Don't make him tug my leash again. 314 00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,202 No, we can call it. Boy, this was great, though. 315 00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,079 Thanks for coming along, Morty. 316 00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:05,623 Rick, we gotta do this after missions more often. 317 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,875 Uh-huh. 318 00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:09,377 This one's on me. And, uh... 319 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:12,297 till next time, Gramps. 320 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:15,008 I winked. Maybe you couldn't tell because of the eye patch. 321 00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,260 We could tell. 322 00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,260 Blackmailing prick. 323 00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:24,976 {\an8}♪♪ 324 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,020 {\an8}[ Electricity crackling ] 325 00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,150 Huh. 326 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,236 [ Eye patch beeping ] 327 00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:42,368 [ Line ringing ] 328 00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:44,621 Motherfucker! 329 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,998 Yeeeah-ha ha-hooow! 330 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,998 [ Screaming ] 331 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,500 We got him, Morty! We fucking got him! 332 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,169 I-I don't understand! 333 00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:53,338 I put the blueprints for that dumb fucking Omega Device 334 00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:55,006 in the Omega Device, Morty. 335 00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:57,300 Eh, they've been wiped from every possible reality. 336 00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:59,427 You mean... 337 00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:59,427 Yes, you possessive fucking nerd! 338 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:02,138 We're free of that hack's bullshit once and for all. 339 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:04,015 Oh, sweet bliss! 340 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,684 I'm already forgetting what we're talking about. 341 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,603 God, he brought you along to flex. 342 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,438 He showed you his lair, that overconfident little bitch. 343 00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:12,148 Predictable bitch! 344 00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:13,983 That's what happens when you get too used to winning, Morty. 345 00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,402 You start sucking your own dick Morty. 346 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,076 He's gonna be coming for us, Morty. 347 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,619 He's coming, and he's gonna be pissed. 348 00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:27,372 {\an8}He doesn't have the luxury of subtlety anymore. 349 00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,040 {\an8}That smug dick. 350 00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:36,714 He'll want to murder the shit out of me, Morty. 351 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,508 That's why I built this place, Morty. 352 00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:40,593 This whole dimension is a bunker, Morty. 353 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,178 Oh, man. 354 00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:43,680 We live in the bunker now, Morty! 355 00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:43,680 [ Whimpers ] 356 00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:44,889 We might be here forever, Morty. 357 00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:47,225 Bunker dimension-n-n! 358 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,561 So Evil Morty thinks he's my nemesis. 359 00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:52,313 Mostly just sucks. But he is deadly. 360 00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:54,399 {\an8}Swallow this. It's a kind of body-armor goo, 361 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,776 {\an8}so you can take some hits. But only some. 362 00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:58,569 I'm not made of body-armor goo. 363 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:00,405 What about Space Beth? 364 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:00,405 Space Beth is mean to me sometimes. 365 00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:02,657 There's an evil version of Morty? 366 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:04,409 Yes, Jerry. Obviously. Keep up. 367 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,744 He's crafty. He's evil. He's a pussy-ass bitch. 368 00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:08,579 He doesn't think I know this, 369 00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:10,623 but his stupid Akira palm laser has a cooldown. 370 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,042 You get 20 seconds after firing it to tackle him. 371 00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:15,753 If he corners you, yell a slur. A bad slur. 372 00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,380 What?! 373 00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,380 That reaction exactly. 374 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:19,257 The worse the slur, the more time it buys you. 375 00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:21,092 Jerry, pretend to shit your pants in fear. 376 00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:23,761 I'll see what I can do. 377 00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:23,761 So we just live here now? 378 00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:25,930 On high alert, but also open your heart 379 00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,598 to the joys of the bunker dimension. 380 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,100 There's normal plumbing, and your friends and neighbors 381 00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:30,518 all have combat training, 382 00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,437 like Bunker Gene here. 383 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:33,771 Oo-rah! 384 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:33,771 At ease, BG. 385 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,398 Now, ballistics. 386 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,567 Evil Morty does have a force field. It's annoying. 387 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,235 He probably can deflect anything below a caliber of, I dunno, 7 billion. 388 00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:40,778 [ Whispering ] Is Bunker Gene from this dimension, 389 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,280 or do you think Rick brought him here? 390 00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:43,364 [ Whispering ] Seems like he used to be a Marine. 391 00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:44,824 No whispering. 392 00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:46,117 Whispering's the first step to turning on each other. 393 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,076 He might go for that, too. 394 00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:48,494 Classic bunker maneuver. 395 00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,288 Just let us stew in here until we go insane. 396 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:53,291 So we can't go insane, even if we live here forever. 397 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,542 More questions? 398 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,461 No further questions. 399 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,009 Do you wish I was smarter? 400 00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,469 Oh, Morty, have some dignity. 401 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,721 I don't know, maybe it was all an act, 402 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:09,265 but he's powerful and confident. 403 00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:11,809 And you guys had real chemistry. 404 00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:13,394 I can't even do chemistry homework. 405 00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:15,605 He wears a villain accessory, Morty. 406 00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:18,649 We are closing the book on this -- Evil Morty sucks. 407 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,318 You promise? 408 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,318 I promise. 409 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:23,321 Phew! And you're sure he can't break in? 410 00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:24,739 It's unlikely, 411 00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:26,491 unless he's canonically mastered the tech needed to bore 412 00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:28,117 through dimensional infrastructure. I don't know. 413 00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:29,410 I don't keep track of that stuff. 414 00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,037 [ Loud thud ] 415 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,541 I'm happy you don't like him more than me, Rick. 416 00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:38,002 I think this one might be for keepsies, Morty. 417 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,296 Shoot to kill. 418 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,296 Roger that. 419 00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:44,842 {\an8}♪♪ 420 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,095 [ Explosions ] 421 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:57,980 D-Did it w-work, sir? 422 00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,482 It worked. 423 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:01,692 {\an8}♪♪ 424 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:10,535 {\an8}♪♪ 425 00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,328 Semper fi! 426 00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,580 Ooh! He looks mad. 427 00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:16,040 You like that, Morty? 428 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:18,042 He built a bunker dimension just for me. 429 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:19,293 I don't have to lie here. 430 00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:20,545 I built it for a bunch of reasons. 431 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:21,921 You're not special, pal. 432 00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:23,297 I don't need to be. 433 00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:26,342 Aah! 434 00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:28,052 You're gonna watch me kill him. 435 00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:30,221 Oh, man. You sound as pressed as Morty was. 436 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,515 You do have a lot in common. 437 00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:33,891 [ Grunting ] 438 00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:35,560 [ Screams ] 439 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:38,396 That's cute. How many of those you got left? 440 00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:39,814 Like, two? 441 00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:41,441 Is it two? 442 00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:42,442 Three? 443 00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:44,277 Ow! [ Coughs ] 444 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,736 [ Grunting ] 445 00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:47,405 {\an8}♪♪ 446 00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:48,448 [ Yells ] 447 00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:49,407 [ Grunts ] 448 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:50,575 {\an8}♪♪ 449 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:51,576 Eee! 450 00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:54,454 Ahhhhhhhhh! 451 00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:56,497 Ahhh! 452 00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:58,332 Ahhh-- 453 00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:00,751 {\an8}♪♪ 454 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:01,794 Uh! 455 00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:03,504 [ Sizzling ] 456 00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:06,466 {\an8}♪♪ 457 00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:08,551 [ Screaming ] 458 00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:09,635 Aah! Aah! 459 00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,596 [ Screaming ] 460 00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:17,935 {\an8}♪♪ 461 00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:21,856 {\an8}♪♪ 462 00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:23,191 Uh! 463 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:26,611 [ Laughs maniacally ] 464 00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,905 Yeah! Ha-ha! Ha-ha! 465 00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:29,989 Aah! 466 00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:36,078 {\an8}♪♪ 467 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:44,587 {\an8}♪♪ 468 00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:45,713 [ Gasps ] 469 00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:48,466 {\an8}♪♪ 470 00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:58,476 [ Yelling ] 471 00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:02,313 [ Yelling ] 472 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,690 What's -- What's happening? Am I missing something? 473 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:08,444 All our nanobots are killing each other's nanobots! 474 00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:11,030 [ Yelling ] 475 00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:11,030 [ Yelling ] 476 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:12,990 Ow! 477 00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:14,200 God damn it! 478 00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,202 [ Explosion ] 479 00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:20,831 {\an8}[ Beeping ] 480 00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:21,832 {\an8}[ Yelling ] 481 00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:21,832 {\an8}Oh! 482 00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:23,668 Morty! No! 483 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,545 [ Both grunting ] 484 00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,172 Shoot him, Rick! 485 00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,172 What the hell?! 486 00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:29,715 What are you waiting for? Kill him! 487 00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,676 Go on! Do it! 488 00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,676 It's him! Just do it! 489 00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,719 Both: Oh, fuck you! 490 00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:35,179 You're really gonna do this? 491 00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:36,722 You're really gonna try to make him shoot me? 492 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,975 That's your trick? Just -- Just say your whole plan 493 00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,227 out loud so he doesn't suspect you? 494 00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:43,145 Shit. 495 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,565 [ Screaming ] 496 00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:49,986 {\an8}♪♪ 497 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:52,321 [ Explosion ] 498 00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,031 We -- We got him? 499 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,783 [ Explosion ] 500 00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,620 I really do hate you guys. 501 00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:01,038 No, you don't. 502 00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:02,999 That's the real reason you need to kill us right now. 503 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,710 Because for Rick, making me jealous was an act. 504 00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:06,919 But for you... 505 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,504 Yeah. Run, bitch. 506 00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:11,090 You leaned in hard. 'Cause you thought it was real! 507 00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:12,174 Damn, Morty. 508 00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:13,342 I saw what I saw, Rick. 509 00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:15,303 He's got a big old crush on you. 510 00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:18,222 I'd like to deny it, Morty, but I'm pretty irresistible. 511 00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,391 [ Electricity crackling ] 512 00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:27,565 All right, well, m-maybe it's us who need to run, bitch. 513 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,109 Huh? 514 00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:32,445 [ All grunting ] 515 00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,905 Jerry! 516 00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,905 Not helping, Dad. 517 00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,866 Aah! [ Gulps ] 518 00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:38,618 20 seconds. Jump him! 519 00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:41,287 Yeah, you little eye-patched piece of shit. 520 00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,456 Together: [ Grunting ] 521 00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:51,756 Uh! You like that? 522 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:53,633 That little time device you showed me -- 523 00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:54,759 I made one, too. 524 00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:56,469 Just like the portal gun. 525 00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:59,138 Always struck me as odd that Ricks don't do time travel. 526 00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:01,932 I get that it's messy, but so are you. 527 00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:03,351 Anyways... 528 00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:04,977 good thing I'm not a Rick. 529 00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:06,354 [ Siren wailing ] 530 00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:07,855 Hands where I can see 'em! 531 00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:10,232 You're surrounded for 1,000 years in any direction, 532 00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,984 you sick fuck. 533 00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:13,944 [ Dramatic music plays ] 534 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:23,871 {\an8}♪♪ 535 00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:25,331 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 536 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,083 [ No audio ] 537 00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:28,501 {\an8}♪♪ 538 00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:30,002 [ Camera shutters clicking ] 539 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:37,635 {\an8}♪♪ 540 00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:39,929 {\an8}♪♪ 541 00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:41,305 Thanks for the tip-off. 542 00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:42,807 A lot of people freezing time these days. 543 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,850 Just a concerned citizen, Officer. 544 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:47,395 It's societal breakdown, is what it is! 545 00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:49,980 Nobody pulling over for ambulances no more neither. 546 00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:51,357 All right, get him out of here. 547 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,818 I want this kid processed yesterday. 548 00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,820 Hey, hey! Wait up! 549 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:56,946 [ Sighs ] 550 00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,072 What? 551 00:19:58,155 --> 00:19:59,490 Aah! 552 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,200 Schleemypants: Oh, shit! 553 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,200 [ Rick whistles ] 554 00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:02,493 You touch me with that hand again, 555 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:03,869 and I'll fucking cube it, pal! 556 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:06,497 You're nothing. You're less than nothing. 557 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,582 Uh-huh. 558 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,582 Morty's right. 559 00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:09,875 You do have a crush. 560 00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,627 You needed the cops to win. 561 00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,713 Ah! Scoreboard. 562 00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:16,215 Sorry... Morty made it weird. 563 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,217 We were never a thing. 564 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,217 Uh-huh. 565 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:21,512 Enjoy prison, fucker! 566 00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:27,435 Season 9, baby. 567 00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:30,521 Only... an indefinite number more. 568 00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:32,356 Sure glad we didn't have to use those slurs. 569 00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:33,566 Oh, my God. Same. 570 00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:34,859 [ Gasps ] You had one ready? 571 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,402 Oh, don't act like you didn't. 572 00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:38,028 Let's all say them at the same time. 573 00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,489 Three. Two. One. 574 00:20:40,531 --> 00:20:42,742 -Eww! Dad! -Jerry! 575 00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:46,078 Wow! Evil Morty off the board for good, huh? 576 00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,538 What are you gonna do now, Rick? 577 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:50,207 Nothing but green -- you know, g-green grass 578 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,459 in front of us, baby. 579 00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:54,545 -I need a vacation. -Oh. Nice. 580 00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:58,090 But you do like me more than him? 581 00:20:58,174 --> 00:20:59,800 Don't be needy, Morty. 582 00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:05,389 {\an8}♪♪ 583 00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:10,728 {\an8}♪♪ 584 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:16,317 {\an8}♪♪ 585 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:20,404 {\an8}♪♪ 586 00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:25,785 {\an8}♪♪ 587 00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:34,251 {\an8}♪♪ 588 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:35,419 [ Indistinct shouting ] 589 00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:38,005 When are you in for, ape? 590 00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:39,548 This is it? 591 00:21:39,590 --> 00:21:41,383 You're not gonna put me in stasis for all of time 592 00:21:41,425 --> 00:21:43,677 or -- I don't know -- remove my consciousness? 593 00:21:43,761 --> 00:21:46,639 What? Bro, this shit's supposed to be punitive. 594 00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:48,849 What the hell sucks about going to sleep? 595 00:21:48,891 --> 00:21:52,186 Nah, little man. Y'all gonna be eating mush on a tray, with, 596 00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:55,314 like, big aggro dudes that call you "Fish" relentlessly. 597 00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:57,691 -Damn. -I mean, you can get jacked, 598 00:21:57,775 --> 00:22:00,402 but even then, you gotta hustle for that protein. 599 00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:01,612 You guys have prison pegged. 600 00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:03,572 We've had forever to do it. 601 00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:09,954 {\an8}Did you get any of that? 39430

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