Original subtitles

Think of your worst pain and then stretch it out

over day in and day out every day.

[woman 1 tearfully] Somewhere in me is this

little glimmer of hope.

I just want to be a normal person.

[groans softly]

[panting]

[man 1] You can't do it

and then I just get mad.

[woman 2] If I don't make a change now

I'm scared it's gonna be too late.

[moaning]

It hurts.

[woman 3] I refuse to stop fighting.

I have to do this for my children.

This is a very dangerous situation you are in

and God knows if you're gonna

survive four months.

[slow instrumental music playing]

[Ontreon Shannon] The first thing that comes to my mind is,

"Am I fighting a losing a battle?

Because of the medical issues that I have."

I have congestive heart failure

and I'm in advanced stages of diabetes.

I have two or three different doctors that said

I would be lucky to even see 40.

The worst is already beginning to happen.

It's definitely no way to live.

I take about 13 to 14 different medications

to make sure my heart does not fail.

And that's the only thing that keeps me out of the hospital.

Being this big is horrible.

Think of your worst pain

and then stretch it out

over day in and day out every day.

Some days it's hard for me to even get out of bed.

But I gotta keep moving.

I have a wife to take care of.

I have a mother to help out as much as I can.

Just in the last month,

recently due to my health concerns,

me and my wife...

I have moved in with my mom,

got to the point to where there are things that I need help with.

It's just to much for Musa to do to help

provide what is needed and that's...

It'll just make you feel uneasy.

I don't like to burden my wife, Nothabo,

to come and help me with everything.

So I've had to really plan out, you know?

Whatever I try to do on my own,

I do very carefully.

I usually do what I call a pre-wash.

I just try to put soap everywhere

and wash really good from a sit down position

outside the tub.

And then usually I get inside the shower to rinse off.

And the reason why I do it that way

is because I can only stand up for about five minutes,

and I have slipped and fallen in the tub before.

So I try to take as much measures

to prevent a fall as much as possible

and not to overdo it.

I usually don't shower by myself

unless my wife or my mom are close enough to hear me.

If I need to call out for help.

After I finish taking a shower

I'm ready to lay back down.

Not necessarily go back to bed

but I have to rest.

You know, just because to go take a shower

that takes away all of my energy.

I'm simply just not able to move like I used to.

Even just getting dressed and stuff like that.

There's a challenge on every end.

Hey, you going to make lunch?

Uh-huh. What do you want to have for lunch?

- Pizza. - [Musa laughs]

But you know what?

I'm gonna make fish.

- And some rice? - [Musa] Rice?

I'm not gonna make the rice like Mommy does,

with butter and stuff.

I'm not gonna do that.

Well, baby, okay.

Well, baby, why don't we put some of that cheese on there?

- On rice. - No, no, no, no.

[Ontreon] My relationship with food is definitely

a very unhealthy relationship.

But with all my health issues

and just the pain that it takes for me to do

the most basic daily function,

I am always overwhelmed and highly stressed,

and food is how I process that.

I can comfort myself

from the stress and the exertion

and enjoy a moment not dealing with all that.

But on bad days the overwhelmingness

is a bottomless pit.

So I eat and try to forget about my life

and all the things that I've been through.

It seems like there's so many things to forget.

I come from a single parent home.

I did know my father

but he was still not in the household.

So I was raised by my mother

and she made sure that

as I child I didn't want for anything.

And I didn't realize until

my later teenage years, she struggled.

If Mom had to work two jobs

she would just went and worked two jobs.

If she had to work three jobs, well, that's what she did.

My siblings were with our dad.

So I was the only one that was in the house while Mom was working.

But my grandparents, at the time,

my grandmother, she was retired,

and so I spent a lot of times there with her.

And what do we do? We eat.

We play games, but we eat.

We do this, but we eat.

And so food

and good food was always present.

How many calories is that?

- What you're supposed to eat. - [both laugh]

You gonna put some honey on it?

Oh. [laughs] Cinnamon.

We was a church going family.

My grandparents and my mother definitely kept me in church a lot.

Every Sunday we can guarantee that we was there at church,

and so that was a good thing, it helped me stay grounded.

Food was just a big thing in our home.

My mom was a cook, my aunties are cooks.

We celebrated with eating

everywhere we went, church meals.

I worked a lot.

He was home a lot.

I worked a lot, he was at my parent's a lot.

He got everything he wanted

and some he didn't want.

So, yeah, I think that's what started...

I, I just think that he was available

to everything he wanted whenever he wanted it.

[Ontreon] In elementary school,

I was 20, 30 pounds overweight,

you know, nothing that no one really noticed.

But it definitely became more of a issue

in middle school, around the 7th grade area,

because when I was 12

my grandfather up and had a stroke and died.

And food definitely became more of a comfort.

So dealing with the grief of that

instead of reaching to other sources

I kind of let all that go.

To try to fill a void that you can't fill with food.

And so that's when I started really noticing that was an issue at school.

Then my estranged father died of a heart attack.

And even though I never spent any time with him

I was overwhelmed with grief.

The lack of care,

I became present

and then so definitely the weight added on quickly after that.

Lord, bless this food

let it be nourishing to our bodies in the name of Jesus.

Bless the hands that made it.

Lord, we thank you for all that you have done.

In Jesus' name. Amen.

Amen.

[Ontreon] And by the time I turned 18,

my weight was around 450 pounds.

I ended up dropping out of college after one semester.

I got a job working in security at a retail store.

The job paid well.

For seven years

working ten to 14-hour days.

At first my size worked in my favor.

Being big helped intimidate customers

who came to steal things.

And that's when I started to have health issues of my own,

and I got diagnosed with congestive heart failure.

And then the cardiologist cut me off as a patient.

And she said that there's

nothing that we can do for you.

I lost my job at the store,

and had a total mental breakdown.

I ended up becoming suicidal.

And then as I was making plans

to make my ultimate escape

from all the pain and burdens

of my situation,

all of a sudden there was a inner peace

that I surrendered to.

It was like God was saying, "I got you."

So the fact that I'm still here

it's only because of God's grace.

So I made a pact with God

to change my ways around eating.

I found a little odd jobs here and there

and then I got into driving

for ride share companies.

That was more forgiving on my body

because I didn't have to stand all day.

I tried intermittent fasting

and was able to lose almost 200 pounds

in a short amount of time.

And this is when I met my wife, Nothabo,

who I call Musa.

Ontreon is my husband.

We met... He was my driver.

I guess it was love at first sight.

We got married, um... [chuckles softly]

Within a month we married.

He's been like this ever since I met him.

But the past two years,

he hasn't changed.

So I'm doubting

if he loses that weight.

[Ontreon] We have been going strong

over two years.

But at the same time

I began gaining weight

and then it just gradually kept going up.

You know what the rice is missing?

Butter?

- You bet ya. - No.

- I'm not going to be doing that kind of rice. - [Ontreon laughs]

[Ontreon] I do thank God that

I do have a wife that is willing to be there

to help me out.

[Musa] When I met him he was moving around.

I saw that he was willing to change

and so I gave him

a chance.

But now he wants a family.

I cannot give it to him unless

he loses that weight so that we help each other.

You done?

- [Ontreon] Thank you, baby doll. - [Musa] Oh.

It was really actually good.

Compliments to the chef.

Mmm.

[Ontreon laughs]

[Ontreon] Every time we go out

I can do less

in how far I can go.

Gets shorter and shorter.

And I feel a short of breath

before I can even make it to the door.

My wife understands that

sometimes I struggle with the bad choices of food.

Oh, we should get two of this.

[Musa laughs]

[Musa] No, just one.

I'm taking...

[Ontreon] No, you're not.

[Musa] It's good for you, Tron.

[Ontreon] You need to put that back.

We don't eat rabbit food.

We're moving.

She's been watching out and she wants me healthy.

She wants me here for, for a while

and I understand that.

[Ontreon speaking]

[Musa speaking]

- The chair? - Yeah.

[Ontreon] I, literally, let my weight

drag our lives down.

Down to where I'm at now.

We never got a honeymoon.

Places that she wanna go and I would like to go.

She wanted to have children.

We can't produce any right now at this size.

I feel, uh, frustrated

and angry because,

um, I can't provide those things for her.

The best thing that I can do is to get healthier

the best way that I can.

Baby, could you get the soda?

[Musa grunts]

Thank you, just set it... Yeah, baby.

You got the basket?

- No, you take the whole basket. - [Ontreon] Thank you, baby.

- [Ontreon] Aw, you so sweet. - Oh, please.

[Ontreon] That's a beautiful wife.

- Run, Forrest. - Woo.

[Ontreon] Run, get in.

[Musa speaking]

[Ontreon] Ooh, baby.

[Ontreon groans]

[Musa speaking]

[Ontreon] Yep.

[Musa speaking]

[thunder rumbling]

[Ontreon] Uh, ice cream? Cookies and cream?

[Musa] Okay.

Um, are you gonna want ketchup or want a little bit more?

[Ontreon] Of course, I want ketchup.

Cookies and cream.

[Musa] Ice cream you're gonna have it after you finish. Why don't--

No, I want to get... I want to have it now.

- [Marsha] I'm not getting him ice cream. - [Musa laughs]

I will. [laughs]

[Musa singing] ♪ Take it easy. ♪

- What, really? - [laughs]

- We'll be fighting again... - [Musa laughs]

like cats and dogs.

You want to bless the food so that I can start eating?

Lord, we thank you for allowing us to make it through the day.

We ask you to bless this food, let it be nourishing to our bodies.

In the name of Jesus. Amen.

[Musa] Amen.

[Ontreon] Sometimes life is very hard

but as long as you have faith

it's gonna come right back around

to something positive.

Nothabo inspired me

to enroll into an online school

to get my license to be a pastor.

Learning more about the word of God

has been a way to distract myself

from my pain and depression.

If I can make it through this,

I want to help other people.

I'd love to see him be able to stand over a pulpit,

and preach the word that I knew he would do in my stomach.

I'd love to see him walk down the aisle

with his bride and stand there.

But Musa's thing is, "I need you to stand there with me."

So she's saying no to a wedding

and I understand it because

that's wedding you wanna be able to stand,

and if he could, it wouldn't be very long.

Those are the things I'd... [stammers] I'd love to see for him,

but first of all, his health. It's the weight, of course.

Just getting it off.

[Ontreon] You know, I do believe in God

and I do have faith in Him,

but right now, I don't have the faith in myself.

I've been feeling that time is running out.

So somewhere, I have to go and find myself again,

but I don't know which way to go.

[slow instrumental music playing]

You gonna use this one?

[Ontreon] Yeah, we can use that one.

[Musa] Okay.

[Ontreon] Today, me and Musa are getting on the road

to meet with Dr. Now

and to see if I can get his help to lose weight.

[Musa speaking]

[Ontreon] What you trying to say, my clothes are big?

[Musa chuckles]

Hmm.

[Ontreon] Everything else that I've ever tried has never worked.

And at this point, it feels like I've tried about everything.

So that means that Dr. Now is basically my last hope.

Okay.

- This... - When did you get this?

What are you talking about?

This in my hand.

[Ontreon] Baby, it's been there.

[chuckles]

All right.

Huh?

- You heard me. - No comprende.

[Musa] Mmm-hmm.

- You ready? - [Musa] I'm ready.

You're gonna get that one, right?

[Ontreon] I guess.

[Musa] Okay.

- [Ontreon] I guess. [mumbling] - I guess let's move.

- [Ontreon] All right. - [Musa] Mmm-hmm.

[Ontreon] It's about a seven-hour drive to Houston,

and I haven't ridden that far in a car in a long time.

So I know that it's gonna be painful on me,

and I'm not looking forward to that.

[Musa] All right.

[Ontreon] I just know that I need this help,

and I don't have another plan besides getting it.

- [Musa] I gave you the keys? - [Ontreon] No, you got 'em.

[slow instrumental music playing]

[car starting]

[Ontreon speaking]

Ooh.

[Musa speaking]

[Musa speaking]

[groans] We'll just... Baby, we'll--

- [Musa] No, 'Treon. - If we just start--

- [Musa] No, no. - We can start a few days after.

[Musa] No.

- [Ontreon] You ready? - [Musa] Uh-huh.

[Ontreon grunting]

[Musa humming]

[Musa] Are you okay?

[Ontreon panting]

[Musa] You good?

[Ontreon] I'm hurting.

[slow instrumental music playing]

[Ontreon] I'm going to see Dr. Now.

We have a 12 o'clock appointment,

and so we're gonna see him and talk to him and go from there.

I don't know what to expect, really.

A little bit of nervousness.

Probably a little bit of anxiety there,

but other than that, I'm good.

I'm kinda happy to see what he has to offer,

see the process and go from there.

- [Musa] Are you okay, babe? - [Ontreon] Yep, I'm good.

Why do you feel good when I'm not? [laughs]

[Ontreon] Oh... It's just an appointment. It's...

[Musa sighs]

Do you have an idea what... Are they going to talk about?

[Ontreon] Yes, mainly, like, the first appointments,

- usually go over the medical history... - [Musa] Mmm-hmm.

[Ontreon] They gotta pull, you know, medical records and stuff like that.

It's not gonna be nothing too serious.

[Musa] I think, 'Treon, you should prepare yourself.

I think you expect the way...

Just because you've been to so many doctors,

you think this is gonna be like this,

but what if it's gonna be like that?

- [Ontreon] Like what? - I don't know!

[Ontreon] Well, I mean,

it's not like he's gonna be preparing for me for surgery today.

Like, as in scheduling a... [stammers] A surgery date.

We gotta see what he's gonna say.

[Musa] Ooh! [speaking indistinctly]

[Ontreon grunts]

Okay.

[Ontreon groaning]

Yeah.

[breathing heavily]

It was a long day of driving yesterday.

And today's the day to find out what I weigh.

As much that I wanna use that cane...

[slow instrumental music playing]

[Musa] You can sit there.

Ontreon?

[Ontreon groans]

- [Musa] Doing good. - [Ontreon] Hmm?

- [Musa] Doing good. - [Ontreon] All the way, right?

The scale has never been my friend,

so it's no wonder I hate this part.

[nurse] Okay, you wanna step up on the scale?

[Ontreon] At best, it's a number I don't wanna see.

At worst, it's like a death sentence.

[suspenseful music playing]

[Ontreon] Here we are at Dr. Now's clinic,

and I'm ready to get weighed

for the first time in quite a while.

My only hope is that my weight hasn't gotten

so far out of control

that Dr. Now won't even agree to help me.

I'm just hoping that I'm in the 600s.

- Your weight is 702. - [Ontreon] All right.

Oof, that's a lot.

Okay, we're gonna be going to Room Five.

Okay. Let me sit down.

[breathless] You gotta get the... The door, baby.

Oh.

I don't know what Dr. Now's gonna say to me,

but I'm sure he won't be happy.

- [speaking indistinctly] - Hmm?

[knock at door]

Hello, how y'all doing?

- Good. How are you? - Good, and you?

Good.

So, Ontreon,

who's this young lady with you?

Uh, this is, uh... This is my wife.

- Well, good to meet you both. - Yeah.

All right, so what brought you down to Houston?

Um, to... To try to get help on...

On losing weight that I just...

I'm having too much of a hard time to even,

uh, get it off.

So, you are right now, uh,

702.

And that is about a BMI

of, um, almost 100, huh?

Yeah. Yeah.

All right, so what seems to be the issue with your eating habit?

Um, it's...

It's not the best. Um,

I do eat a lot of, um, uh, fast food

and I eat a lot of sweets.

Those are the two...

Uh, two main things that,

I guess, that... That keeps me, um, overweight.

You eat a lot of sweets and fast food?

Yes, yeah.

So if you do that, you're gonna be 700 pounds.

So what are you willing to do to change that?

I... [chuckles] I don't...

I don't know. I did make a promise to, uh...

To my wife that...

[stammers] That I'm gonna cut out fast foods.

Um, that, um,

pretty much, we're going to...

To do a diet plan and we're gonna stick to it,

and to eat at home, and...

And that... And I should see results.

- Let me ask you this. - [Ontreon] Mmm-hmm.

What is your goal right now in your life?

My main goal is to...

I started studying, um, in a school of ministry,

so, at some point, I do want to, like,

uh, minister, or...

Or a pastor, or something of that sort.

So I do wanna do that,

because she can't continue to just...

Just be the only one that's,

you know, working and... And bringing in as much as she brings in, so...

Okay.

What do you have to say about all the stuff he told me?

I feel like, uh,

it's not the first time that I've heard him say

he wants to work, he wants to provide.

You know, I've heard him say that for...

For, like...

- two years. - Well, you know, words mean nothing.

- [Musa] Actions, yes. - The action speaks very loud.

Are you supporting him to be healthy

or are you enabling him to overeat?

Uh, I've tried and, uh, today, he made a promise to me

that we're gonna follow

a plan, right?

All right, so tell me what's different today

than last 36 years?

So what are you willing to do

and what are you gonna do different?

Um,

I don't know. [stammering]

I don't know exactly what I'm gonna do different,

but I know that there's something that has to...

Has to change.

Um, I'm gonna have to give up the... [stammers]

At least the fast foods and the sweets.

Um, that's something that's gonna have to take place,

um, and it's, you know... [stammers] I don't think that

that's gonna fix the problem,

but that's at least... [stammers] It's gonna be a good start,

but it's not gonna be easy for me, though.

It's... It's definitely gonna be a challenge.

[Dr. Now] I agree with all that,

but the first step is you showing that you are willing to do what you say,

because it sounds like you said all this before,

and so far, it seems like you go in the other direction.

- Mmm-hmm. - [Dr. Now] Okay?

So to get you started,

I'm gonna give you 1,200-calorie diet

that is high protein, low carb.

I'm gonna walk you through it,

and I want you to start that immediately.

Yes, sir.

And then I'm gonna also give you some exercises

to start doing twice a day.

- All right. - You need to increase your activity,

so you need to do all those things

and start making the changes you need now.

- You need to be proactive to change your life. - I will.

So we're not gonna be able to do any of that for you.

You are the one that can do that.

-All right. -[Dr. Now] You understand that?

- I do. - [Dr. Now] Okay.

Now let me go get some stuff for you.

[Ontreon] Okay. [muttering] Oh, that wasn't so hard.

They're okay.

- Yeah, I know. - [Musa sniffs]

Yeah, I hear you.

It sounds like Ontreon has had opportunity to get help

with his weight in the past,

and what's concerning me is that aside from

a brief period in his 20s,

there hasn't been a time where he has made

any significant difference

to change his situation.

So I have a big question about

his level of commitment right now,

because the impression I'm getting is that

he's here for a magic solution,

and that he's not willing to put in the work he needs

to turn his life around.

All right.

This is what I want you to read every night,

so at the end of the day...

If Ontreon is serious about taking control of his life,

then he needs to show that to me by losing enough weight

to hit the goal I'm gonna give to him.

If he does that, then I will believe

he's ready to do what he says,

and putting in the hard work to change his life

so we can move ahead with him.

But if he's doing what he's always done,

hoping someone fixes his situation for him,

then there'll be nothing we can do to help him that will last,

and we won't be moving ahead with him.

So where we go from here with Ontreon is all up to him.

This is... What it's saying on top?

"I really don't eat very much--"

All right, and this is the page you need to read

to understand that you're eating too much.

- Okay. - Okay.

- Okay. - [Dr. Now] And also, I'm gonna give you my book.

Oh, wow.

And it's gonna be what you need to do.

- Okay. - If you stick with this diet, then do that.

Being at 700 pounds,

you could easily lose 60 pounds in one month.

[Ontreon] Okay.

[Dr. Now] Okay? But what I'm gonna give you as a goal

is to lose 80 pounds in two months.

If you cut the sugary stuff and all that,

- you can easily lose more than that. - [Ontreon] Okay.

[Dr. Now] But minimum, 80 pounds in two months,

- and if you do that, then we can work with you. - Okay.

And if you're not able to do that,

there's nothing anybody can do for you.

- Okay. - Okay?

All right, Ontreon,

so I'm gonna see you in two months, 80 pounds lighter.

- Okay. - [Dr. Now] Okay?

- Mmm-hmm. - So you think you can do that?

I'll do my best.

- All right, if you need anything, give me a call. - [Ontreon] Okay, I will.

- And thank you so very much. - [Dr. Now] You're welcome.

Thank you.

- You get the door, baby. - All righty.

- Let's go. - Okay.

[Ontreon] I wasn't sure what to expect from this appointment.

I didn't know if Dr. Now would even help me.

But now that I met him,

I understand that he just wants the best for me.

So I can't blame him for that.

But I'm also not sure that I can do what he's asking me to do.

He made it sound so easy.

But he's dealing with a lifetime of habit forming.

It's hard to change that.

But I know that my wife needs me to do this.

I wanna do it, too, and give it my best try.

And I'm gonna hope and pray that that's good enough.

[upbeat music playing]

[Ontreon] It's been almost a month since my appointment with Dr. Now.

So far, it's been a struggle to do the right thing.

The biggest challenges have been finding things I still like to eat.

Because I'm already eating such a small amount,

that what I do eat needs to be things that I like,

and that I know that I'm gonna eat.

And so, following the diet the best way that I can.

And I find that, you know, I have days where all I do need

is a protein shake

or something like that, and...

My wife has mentioned that protein shakes

are not on the diet.

But, basically, the way I'm looking at it is...

That I need to make things easier for myself right now.

Because it's hard enough already.

So far, the diet and exercise program has been going hot and cold.

But I'm still doing my best.

[groans softly]

My wife Musa has been really helpful

to give me the right things.

Encouraging me and staying on top of it with me.

She's even been reading the materials more than I have.

And for the exercising,

I haven't really done much of that yet.

But today, I'm going to change all of that.

Because I'm working out with a friend of mine,

Charles, who is a trainer.

- So we doing the easy day today? Oh, no. - [laughs]

We got work to do. Let's go. Turn it off. Let's roll.

See, today we're supposed to go easy, supposed to be a light day.

-There's no such thing. Let's go. -[laughs]

I wanted to wait until Charles was available to do my first workout.

Because I knew he was going to make it more fun for me.

All right, you're pulling that.

- Charles, let's cut across this grass real quick. - [laughs]

I'll pave it the whole way so let's go.

Charles, that's a long way.

Let's go.

[Ontreon] If I didn't have somebody like Charles to do it with me,

it was gonna make it a lot harder.

The one thing that I know that I'm not gonna like about this

is Charles is gonna make me go longer than I want to.

[Charles] We could go around the whole lake.

- No, no, no, you crazy. [laughs] - Okay, okay. I'm just saying.

Hey, that's a good looking incline. You got one more.

I'm gonna go to this corner.

- Right here. - Corner?

Yup. So come on.

[panting]

- Don't be so eager to sit. - [laughs]

- That's the fastest you've moved all morning. - [coughs]

Huh? All right, we're gonna need this.

Let me move this out of the way.

All right. So...

Now you gotta sit and work.

All right, so we're taking this ball, you press it above your head.

All right, here we go. Keep pressing it straight up.

Here we go. Three, two, one. Here we go. One.

Slow. Two. Three.

Four. Five.

Six. Seven.

Eight. Nine.

Ten. Nice.

Nice. All right, on your feet, here we go, we're kicking.

On three, here we go. Lift, one.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five. All right, stand up.

I'm not no Samson.

[both laugh]

Come on, Samson. Come forward. All right, see right here?

So you're gonna press like this.

One.

Two.

Three. That's it.

Four.

Five. All right.

You can come sit down, but you're not gonna stay down.

You finish practice standing up.

So, yeah, we're gonna sit and stand.

Three, two, one. Rock... Stand.

One. All right, we'll go back down.

That's one.

-That's two. Okay, no hands. [laughing] All right. -[laughs]

And down.

That's four.

All right, hold that. That's good.

Three, two, one.

That's up. That's five. All right, stay right there. Hands up.

Now we're gonna lean slightly this way.

-[chuckles] -One, two, three, four, five. Same thing.

One, two, three, four, five.

All right, we're going back down. Here we go.

Right, let's go. We can head back.

-Up. Give me this and get up. Here we go. Up! -Really?

On your feet, let's go.

Or you're gonna owe me a lap around this lake.

- Uh-uh. No, we ain't can't do no lap. - Huh?

Three, two, one. Let's rock.

You know, we're schooling your feet. We walking.

We're gonna leave the belly. This thing ain't got a chance.

- Let's go. Pick them up. - [laughs]

- Let's go. Nope. - Slow.

- And when we get halfway I'm giving you this ball. - No, no, no, no, no.

[Ontreon] You know, that wasn't so bad

moving my body all those ways.

When you haven't worked out in so long,

it helps to remind you how out of shape you are.

That's it. Come on.

[Ontreon] For me right now, there's a bit of shame.

Shame and regret that I let myself get like this.

Because it feels like I have so far to go.

Not too shabby, sir.

How you feel?

- [panting] - Ha. I think I've done my part.

Sir, every day.

- [panting] - Huh?

- I hear you, Charles. - Huh? Don't try to squeeze my hand!

- [laughs] If I gotta sit down. - All right.

"If I gotta sit down." [laughs]

[Ontreon] I guess I'll just take it one day at a time.

That's all I really can do.

[breathing heavily] Ugh.

[slow instrumental music playing]

[Musa] How are you feeling on how you did?

Man, I'm nervous. You know, he wanted me to lose 60.

[Musa] Oh.

Babe, I don't know if I came even close.

I don't think I did, you know.

[Musa] You've been doing the diet.

Yeah.

Yeah, and the other things we just have to clear up

with them about the shakes.

Because I told you shakes, no. But you said the books said yes.

It's like we're understanding it in a different way.

All right.

Yeah, because at the end of the day

we say different things, it doesn't help.

[Ontreon] I hear you, baby.

All right, let's go, baby.

Hmm?

So now, not enough of them.

Ontreon?

[Ontreon] Today's the day of my first follow-up with Dr. Now.

I have to say I'm not looking forward to stepping on that scale.

- [nurse] All right, you can step on the scale. - Okay.

[Ontreon] So no matter what that scale says,

I just pray that Dr. Now can help me find some hope.

Because I'm not ready to just give up yet.

[suspenseful music playing]

[Ontreon] We're here at Dr. Now's for my first follow-up.

And my first doctor's appointment

I weighed in at 702 pounds.

Dr. Now told me to lose 80 pounds in two months.

So if I did that I would weigh 622 pounds today.

- Your weight is 683. - [Ontreon] All right.

At least I lost something.

But I guess I saw that coming.

- [laughing] - [nurse] You can go to Room Five.

Not even close, but that's okay. [chuckles]

[Musa laughs, speaking indistinctly]

- [speaking indistinctly] - We're doing running now, but...

[knocking at door]

Hello, how are we all doing?

- Good. How are you doing? - Good.

All right, uh, so, Ontreon, what's going on with you?

Because I see you lost some weight, but not enough.

So what happened?

I didn't get to meet necessarily the goal.

Um, so I'm not too happy about that. But, um...

I think we're headed in-- In the right direction.

Um...

I just gotta do... Do better.

I got a feeling that you're really sugarcoating what you have done.

All right, I'm... I don't think you've really,

uh, done much of the diet

except maybe one or two days.

I don't think you really have done any of this exercise,

maybe five minutes.

So you're not taking this seriously

and making excuses not to be healthy

and do the right thing with your diet and your exercise.

And then, all you did was you made some changes

but not a lot of changes.

So what changes do you think you make?

Um...

I've really been trying to, uh, stick with the, um,

1,200 calorie, um, diet, um, per day.

Um... [clears throat]

I know that we... Me and my wife,

we discussed about protein shakes.

And I know that I've been drinking some protein shakes.

And she's been on to me about that because she said they wouldn't... I'm not--

What do you mean? You're drinking protein shakes?

Yes.

Okay.

You have eaten the food that belongs to the next five years.

How in the world do you need a protein shake?

What do you need to take a protein shake for?

Who gave you that idea?

I don't know. I just... I just... I don't know.

Well, I though it was because, you know,

- I was low on calories-- - What do you mean you don't know?

We gave you stuff to read and that said that

no supplements, no shakes.

Tell me, did you read the stuff I gave you?

Uh, I did read... I did read some of it.

Um, I haven't-- I haven't read it all.

Well, you have to understand what to do, what not to do.

So I'm not going to ask you any questions. Let me ask her.

[chuckles]

Do you think Ontreon was doing he was supposed to be doing

and sticking to the diet?

Um... Like, the first day he was doing good.

Like, the first three days?

And then he started having the shakes.

Then I told him it says in the book, don't take them.

And then he said, "No. I used to take them before."

I'm like, "You know, before, you did take them,

whatever, but the diet says no shakes.

No shakes at all."

But he made up an argument. I just left him to be.

And then the other day, he was eating peanut butter.

He said it's there in the book that

he must eat peanut butter.

I said, "I read it. It doesn't say that."

And then we started arguing about that so I was like, "Okay.

I'm just gonna leave it until we go back to the doctor

so he can explain to you.

Because it's not there."

Like it... It feels like maybe the food is the same.

I told him, "If you go through the book,

and look at the... The food, it's not the same.

It's different kinds.

Just because you don't like it.

But it's good for you. Just take it.

Because if you're full, you're not gonna think of taking peanut butter."

That's what I told him.

So we waiting to come back so that you'd tell him that

that shakes is a no-no, peanut butter is a no-no.

So not only he doesn't listen to me,

he doesn't listen to you either.

No, I wouldn't say... I-- I wouldn't say that because I...

I... I do listen. I do listen.

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

You listen but you don't care about it, you don't do anything.

That sounds so horrible. [laughs] Like...

Like it just sounds horrible and then it's...

Like...

Uh, I understand, 'cause it... Textbook, that-- That's...

That's exactly what I'm doing, but...

At the same time, it's... That's not my intention.

That's not my intention.

Well, you're diabetic, you have high blood pressure,

you are grossly overweight,

and you're killing yourself with the food.

And we give you some instruction to read every night,

and follow those instructions.

But you decided to do whatever you want.

But you don't have time to play around and, um, do this.

Because when you are 700 pounds,

all that pressure on your heart and your lung,

it is only a matter of time before they give out.

I have a lot of concern with, uh, your heart

and, uh, number of medication you're taking

with the blood sugar and so forth.

Um, you know, you're not a healthy person,

and this is a very dangerous situation you are in,

and you need to try harder.

Get your weight down before it's too late.

And I'm gonna give you another two months to lose 80 pounds.

But you can't keep making excuses for yourself,

and wasting more time and coming back

and saying I should have done better

because you can't afford to do that.

God knows if you're gonna survive four months.

Okay?

This is, uh, something, even if you get a common cold

or if you, uh, slip and, uh, twist your ankle.

Uh, you gonna be bedridden

and then this is gonna be all over for you so...

And this is something that you gonna have to be

the one to follow the instruction

and do the right thing for your own good

to save your life.

If you don't wanna save your life,

killing yourself for the food,

then go ahead.

Uh, you know, eat peanut butter,

take your protein shake,

and think that you're doing good.

But if you want to save your life,

you need to take this seriously now.

- You got that? - [Ontreon] Yes.

[Dr. Now] Okay, let's see how we're doing in two months.

In the meantime, if you have any questions about the diet,

about your medication, give me a call.

I will.

All right, I'll see you in two months.

Okay, thank you so much, Dr. Now.

- All right, will see you then. - [Musa] Thank you.

[indistinct whisper]

Right, it wasn't, it wasn't so bad.

He didn't come and stab me and cut me up.

Who was right? I was right.

Mmm-hmm.

At this point, I am very concerned about Ontreon

because he's not showing he has any real willingness to change.

The only positive I'm seeing right now

is that his wife, Musa, is not an enabler.

She wants to support him to make healthy choices and improve his life.

The problem is, Ontreon wants someone else to do the work for him,

and he stopped listening to anyone's guidance,

and that's a big issue.

Because when someone asks for help

and gets that help,

and then decide to continue

on the self-destructive path they are on,

it means that they want to create

the illusion they are willing to change,

but with no intent to actually put action

to what they are saying.

And my concern is that is what Ontreon is doing

because he has only made minor changes

to pretend like he's trying.

And the reality is that he's waiting for someone

to fix the situation for him.

And that's not gonna happen.

[Musa exclaims]

It's not cold outside.

Huh, it's humid.

Muggy.

[Musa] Do you have the key?

[Ontreon] It went interesting.

I wanna say that it went kind of like how I suspected,

but he was on me.

It was what I needed to hear.

In the end, you know, he read my cards, too,

he was like, you know, I haven't been reading the book

which I, technically, really haven't been reading it.

Skimmed through it but I rarely read it.

So there's a lot of little things

that throughout, he was just...

It's healing, he was right.

I know what he's saying

and I know exactly what he's talking about, like, 100%.

It's kind of where you're on that fence of,

should I take hope today or should I not?

[guitar music playing]

[Charles] You got it, sir.

You're in trouble.

[Ontreon] That, that's why I call you.

[Charles laugh]

[Ontreon] How are you doing, dude?

Doing good. How are you?

[Ontreon] Doing good.

We got work to do today.

- Yeah, I know. - Let's go.

[Ontreon] Uh-huh.

- Can't you let me? - [Charles] No, sir, it's too late. Let's go.

Let's go. I got weights in the car. I'm gonna grab that.

- [Ontreon] Weights? - Yep.

- Got one up here. - See how you're doing so much.

Try to not be mad.

My tennis shoes and all that stuff is in the storage.

[Charles] Oh, wow. So, you're gonna do this barefoot?

[Ontreon] Yeah, pretty much. I have to.

[Charles] Okay, no 5K today.

- No, maybe not tomorrow, either... - [Charles] Okay.

- but, hey. - [Charles] All right, let's go.

Let's see what you got. Come on.

[Ontreon] It's been two weeks since I saw Dr. Now.

And my focus has been on doing better this time.

[Charles] That is good.

[Ontreon] I've been especially focused on my workouts

and getting back on the wagon with that.

And ministry school graduation is next month,

so it's important to me that I get to that in person,

and that I can walk around

and not lose all my energy or have a breakdown.

Because that would be worst than embarrassing.

And not to mention, it won't go well

for my future career as a preacher,

if I can't even keep my feet.

So, I want to start my new life by hitting that goal.

And that's motivating me to get back to the exercises.

Today, this is gonna be your little runway.

You strut your stuff.

So you're going from here to there.

We're gonna be going back and forth, but you're curling.

[Ontreon] And it's helping me to keep my focus with my workouts.

I'm planning on sticking to those

until I know that my stamina is up enough.

So, I'm working hard towards my goal.

Not just for Dr. Now but for myself.

To be able to handle going to my graduation ceremony next month.

All right. Coming back.

Are we on the-- We're doing good.

All right, give me those.

All right, I gotta throw these in there.

I brought two friends today.

You're already trying to kill me.

[Charles] Yep, take a break. A small break.

[Ontreon] But I'm also doing the diet.

I'm not drinking protein shakes

or eating peanut butter.

And I'm listening to Musa.

[Musa] Time for dinner.

[Musa chuckles]

Are you gonna come help me?

[Ontreon] Mmm-mmm, you got it.

All right.

Ontreon like, if he tried for one day

and then he gives up.

And says, "No, I'm going to do it tomorrow."

And then tomorrow is the same story.

We never stick to a diet.

So, I am gonna do everything I can to help him.

But I told him, like, "I cannot waste my time

helping you to lose weight.

It's either you do it or you don't want to do it."

[Ontreon] I don't want it.

Okay.

[Ontreon] That's all right now.

How is it?

You trying to kill me?

[laughs]

[Ontreon] You are getting so bad.

[Musa] It's not bad. Come on.

This is flavorless.

Okay.

But it's good for you, at the end of the day.

- [Ontreon] Mmm-hmm. - Hmm.

[laughs]

- [Musa] Mmm-hmm. - Mmm.

[Musa laughs]

[slow instrumental music playing]

[Ontreon] Today is the day of my graduation.

I've been using this night as a motivator.

And the thought of being in front of other people

and how bad it will feel if I couldn't stand

or couldn't walk like I need.

So, I've been imagining that,

and it's been helping me to try harder,

to eat better and work out harder.

[knocking on door]

Come on in.

- Doing all right? - Yeah, I'm doing good.

Mmm-hmm.

- You ready? - No.

[both chuckle]

[Ontreon] Don't laugh at me because it isn't closed all the way.

No.

[Ontreon] I had to remove the little white collar to show.

[Ontreon laughs]

- Need some help? - [Ontreon] No, I got it.

[John whispers] A pastor.

Looks good.

All right.

Babe?

[Musa] Yep, you ready?

Yeah, I'm ready, I'm going to be.

Okay, let's go.

- [Ontreon] How do I look? - Oh, yeah.

You look like a real pastor.

I know. That's what John just said, too, baby.

Pastor, damn, I don't know what I did right there.

- [Musa] Hmm, running late. - [Ontreon] Yeah.

[Ontreon exhales]

Then we gonna do the shoes.

- [Musa] When we get there. - Okay.

[Musa] Are you gonna drive okay with those?

- [John] I'll follow you. - [Ontreon] Okay.

[Musa] You better follow us.

[Musa and Ontreon laugh]

Now, now, John.

Now, now, you know me.

- [John] I'll keep up, man. - All right.

[car starting]

[Ontreon] I'm putting all my hard work to the test.

I've been sticking to my workouts

and I think I've been doing better this time.

I'm hopeful that I'll be okay.

I won't know until I get in there.

And my biggest fear would be

if I mess up the whole ceremony for everybody else.

But I don't want that to happen

and I don't want to think about it.

Yeah, I really hope they don't ask me to speak

'cause you know what I forgot my Bible at the house.

I had to use my phone.

[John] Oh, they got a Bible in there. Don't worry about it.

See you there. But, it's okay. I'll just--

It's okay.

I've got to believe that I'm gonna be able to handle it.

I don't want to miss this night

or mess it up.

I wanna be able to celebrate like everyone else.

It's not fair if I'm not able to do that.

I think I'm ready to do it.

[singer 1] ♪ Give it all I have ♪

[Ontreon] I hope I am.

[singer 1] ♪ In this moment ♪

[indistinct chatter]

♪ Come on ♪

[singer 2] ♪ Help us sing y'all ♪

♪ This ain't no ordinary worship ♪

[singer 1] ♪ Oh, oh, uh, oh ♪

[singer 2] ♪ This ain't no ordinary ♪

♪ This ain't no ordinary ♪

[singer 3] ♪ Yeah ♪

[singer 1] ♪ The God I serve is greater ♪

[singer 2] ♪ The God I serve is greater than the ordinary ♪

[singer 3] ♪ Come on Give it all I have ♪

♪ Give it all I have In this moment ♪

[woman 4] Hallelujah!

[officiant] Hello!

This is the point in which we are going

to anoint these vessels and present to them

their license and ordination.

- Minister Ontreon Shannon. - [all applauding]

[man 2] Amen.

[all cheering and applauding]

- [man 2] Amen. - [officiant] I anoint you in the name of the Father...

the Son and the Holy Spirit.

So you serve patiently for peace.

[audience applauding]

[Ontreon] You know what? I'm proud of myself.

This is a really special day.

The reason why I've started

the weight loss program is because of the spirituality.

I believe that God has a purpose for me.

I believe that he has designed me for certain things,

and I want to accomplish those things.

And so that is the reason why me losing weight is important.

If I can't walk,

then how am I gonna be able to go out.

I mean, if I can't stand for long,

how will I be able to stand and talk with someone,

um, you know,

about the ministry, about God,

about life changing things.

- Congratulations. - Thank you. Thank you.

- Congratulations. - Thank you.

[Ontreon] So, losing weight is vital.

This is gonna be, uh,

a very major key to,

to anything that I do in the ministry.

Yeah. Get everything, is he gonna be here? I said I don't know.

And graduating today, um, this helps me to stay focused

on the purpose and completing the process.

[Musa sings]

We won. Yeah, I'm good.

Oh, I'm good.

[Ontreon chuckles] Thank you, baby.

[slow instrumental music playing]

[Ontreon] I'm back in Houston for another appointment with Dr. Now.

Musa couldn't make it today.

So she recruited my mom's friend, Pat, to be here.

Pat is like a aunt to me,

and I'm glad to have someone so I didn't have to go alone.

I think I made more progress today.

But I'm worried that it's not gonna be

the same amount that Dr. Now wants.

Because I worked hard to get my ministry graduation.

Ontreon.

[Ontreon] But since then, there has been a lot of celebrating.

And so I slipped up on some of my diet.

But I still worked hard to do my best.

And I'm hoping to see some good results.

Maybe even a little bit better than last time.

Okay, you can step on the scale.

[Ontreon] Last appointment I weigh 683 pounds.

Dr. Now want me to lose 80 pounds in two months.

And if I did that, it would mean

that I'm down to around 603 today.

- Okay, your weight is 689. - All right.

I thought I did a lot better than that.

I'm just a little surprised because I thought I lost weight.

I definitely didn't expect to gain weight...

and now I'm worried about what Dr. Now is gonna say.

[knocking at door]

- Hello, how y'all doing? - Good, how are you?

Good. So who is young lady with you?

Uh, this is my aunt.

It's actually my mom's friend, but I call her Aunt Pat.

- Okay. - Since I was little.

So what happened to your wife?

She gave up on you?

- [both laugh] - No, no, she didn't give up on me.

She, uh, she had a couple of appointments and stuff,

and so, just trying to still work on her green card and stuff, so...

All right, well, it is good thing she's not here to see your result

because instead of losing 80 pounds in two months,

you gained six pounds.

You wanna explain that?

Uh, I plead the Fifth Amendment.

[laughs] I don't know, I'm joking.

I'm joking. No, I, um...

I don't know how to explain it, um...

Well, try.

I want you to verbalize what you did

and what you supposed not to do.

Um...

To be honest, I did have a few cheat days where, where...

Well, of course, you be need to be honest.

You can't lie to me when the scale is my lie detector.

It already told me you had a lot of cheat days.

The question is why, when it's gonna kill you.

I don't, I don't know.

What's the point of coming here and telling me

you wanna change your life

if you have no intention to do the diet or anything you need to do?

I do wanna do the diet and I've been really working, well...

I been wanting, I wanna do the diet.

I wanna do the program and, and it's not like that I don't wanna do it,

I just dropped the ball this, this go-around,

and so, I don't know.

But I did drop the ball and I know that--

What mean you don't know?

Is somebody else eating for you, or you eating it for yourself?

No, um, I'm eating for my, for myself.

So is it hard to understand that you're overeating

to be almost 700 pound?

I, I don't know.

Your health is in jeopardy being diabetic,

hyperlipidemia, with all the health issue you got

and you're still not losing weight,

so this is a serious issue with you.

So when are you going to wake up

and do what you say you will?

- Um... - Are you expecting us to make you lose weight?

No, no, I'm not.

No, I don't expect you guys to make me lose weight,

but I know that I do need the accountability.

And that's, since our last visit

I have started reading the book,

um, and, and so I've,

I've been working on implementing it,

just not every day like I'm supposed to, and so...

So, I'm planning on doing that.

It was just me not paying attention, not, not mindful,

eating, or mindful thinking about eating anything

and so, that's not right and so, I do know that.

So when you plan to cut back?

Um...

Now? I mean, I...

Uh, I don't know, I... Now.

Uh, you're at very dangerous point in your life,

and this is going to be a difficult situation

with your BMI being over 100,

you're gonna run out of time very soon

and you're gonna push your body to a limit, and...

You have all the elements of everything given to you to change your life,

but you're not taking it, so where is that gonna end?

Um...

Not a place I wanna go right now,

and that's death, you know,

um, and I know that, so...

[Dr. Now] But knowing that is still not enough for you

to give up the food,

and you're not gonna live much longer at this rate.

But we can't seem to wake you up

to understand that,

so I'm gonna send you to psychotherapy

to see if they can make some sort of difference.

But if they can't, then you're done,

and we are not moving ahead with you.

So this is your last chance to take it, to save your life,

and if you don't take it, I don't think you're gonna have any more chances.

So, you either now do the right thing or you give it up.

And be honest with yourself.

There's nothing magic in here that can help you

except you gonna make the decision to be healthy

and watch your diet.

And either you're not making that decision

or you're kicking down the road

and hoping something will happen,

but nothing's gonna happen.

You're gonna have to do that yourself.

So, I don't have anything else to tell you that you haven't heard before.

We have given you every chance to lose weight,

but you're not taking it.

You're throwing it away and you aren't doing the right thing.

So, when? When you gonna change?

Uh, I thought that I was, was ready.

Actions speaks much louder than word,

and the scale tells us the truth.

So if you're telling me you're gonna change,

well, hope you see that in, on the scale next time.

So, this is your last chance

and I'm gonna give you the same goal,

lose 80 pounds for the next two months.

And if you do, we'll appeal for weight loss surgery.

If not, I don't know what else we can do for you.

Okay.

- Okay? - Okay.

All right, if you need anything, give me a call.

- Okay. - Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too.

All right, see y'all later.

All right, thank you so much, Dr. Now.

Okay.

Ontreon still doesn't see the severity of his situation

enough to change his life.

Maybe psychotherapy will be able to break through to him.

Especially if Ontreon is using some past trauma to justify

the need to go to food for comfort.

But if they're not able to get him to turn around

and start moving in the direction he needs,

even a little bit by next time,

then it will be clear he has no intention

to take responsibility for his life.

[Ontreon] I was scared going into the appointment

because I didn't know if Dr. Now was gonna kick me out of the program.

I'm trying to be honest with Dr. Now about my shortcomings,

but I know that I just need to do better, like he says.

I can't let Musa down and I can't let my mom down, either.

I know they want me to do this.

This is the point that I need to change my life,

and whatever's gonna do that for me,

I'm gonna try it.

Because it feels like I've already tried a bunch of things,

and they're not working.

[Ontreon] Today, I have my session with Dr. Paradise

and I think I'm looking forward to it.

I know I want to get it out of the way as soon as possible,

because I don't think it's gonna help me

and I know I have a lot of issues to work through.

And it'll be nice to have someone to talk to.

I just hope that nothing comes up here

that is gonna make my journey any more difficult

than it already is.

Welcome.

Thank you. It's, it's nice to meet you, actually.

[chuckles] It's good to meet you, too.

So, tell me a little bit about yourself.

Um...

Well, I am a licensed minister.

Is that what you wanna do for a job?

I think for, for a main source, I think so.

- That's what I wanna do, mainly. - Okay.

What, what's standing in the way of that?

Probably going further than what I am, I don't know.

Well, tell me how your, how your weight loss is going.

Uh, there's, there's been a struggle.

- Okay. - Um...

So let, let's... That's why you're here.

So let's talk, let's talk about the struggle, okay?

What's, what's keeping you stuck?

Today, I might care, tomorrow, I may not.

Okay, so what puts you in a place

where you're not caring?

[Ontreon] You know, before,

around 2013, 2014,

I ended up, um, losing about 300 pounds.

What happened after that?

So, there was just a lot of death.

Who died?

Uh, it started off with, uh, my aunt.

Me and her are 14 years apart.

- Okay, so she wasn't much older than you at all. - No, no.

So we was more like sisters.

Okay. She was like a sister to you.

-Yeah. -Yeah, yeah. How'd she pass?

Um...

It was sudden, like, her heart just stopped.

Wow. Was she big?

Uh, she was. She was.

Okay, keep track of that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What did that do to you?

One of the issues is that I'm having is,

is that if I can figure out how to departmentalize

these things,

and then deal with the issues at some point,

- then I could focus-- - How, how's that working for you?

I worry that it's, that's, that's not, um, working out for you...

and that part of the reason you're as big as you are now,

and part of the reason why you're off track in losing weight

is 'cause you've got a bunch of unresolved stuff inside there.

But it, it's blocking, um, something for you.

I agree.

- So, you're a licensed minister. - Yes.

So you probably had some training in this, right?

Certainly in, like, grief counseling, right?

Um, a little bit.

What'd you, what'd you learn about grief counseling?

Pretty much, allow that person to, not necessarily to work it out,

- but to... - What do you teach them to do?

I tell them to,

to mourn, you know?

[Dr. Paradise] How have you mourned?

To be honest, I haven't.

Bingo.

I think, I think that's why you're here.

I think that's why we're talking,

is I'm, I'm here to convince you to mourn.

I think until you mourn those losses

you're gonna be stuck in some way or another.

- You know, this is gonna be your homework. - Yeah.

And do you write sermons? Did you write sermons

as part of your training?

Yeah, I did a little bit, yeah.

So, I want you to write a sermon about this.

- Okay. - You know, um,

I feel like you have two kinds of weight to lose.

- Yeah. - And the physical weight is

almost less important than the emotional weight.

You're, you're, carrying around 700 pounds

of emotional weight, too.

But it seems like the emotional weight

is heavier than the physical.

- Yeah. - You know?

So, Ontreon, I'm gonna bring your wife in. Is that okay?

- Yes. - And what we'll talk about the homework, okay?

- Okay. - Great.

- Hi, are you Musa? - [Musa] Yes.

- Hi, Musa, come on in. - [Musa] All righty.

You can have a seat right over there.

Oh, thank you.

So, you have a terrific husband.

Thank you, I know. [laughs]

Uh, and I'm really impressed with him,

and I have some homework, uh, that I gave to him.

And I want, um, Ontreon to tell you about the homework

so that you can support him in doing it.

So, Ontreon, tell Musa about your homework.

Dr. Paradise wants me to write about, um,

the grief and hope.

So you're gonna write a sermon, right?

- [Ontreon] A sermon. - Okay.

About, about that, so...

So you'll be a good, a good, receptive audience to that.

- [Musa] Of course. - Okay.

Are you, are you hopeful for him?

- Oh, yes, I am. - Okay.

- I will. - [Dr. Paradise] Good.

Thanks for coming, guys. Okay, take care, guys.

[Ontreon] All right, thank you so much.

All right, baby.

- All right, one, two... - Okay, on three.

One, two, three.

Don't you fall. [laughs]

- You got it? - Yeah.

Thanks so much, Dr. Paradise.

Well, that was challenging.

Dr. Paradise made some good points

and I appreciate his outlook.

I don't know how to feel about the homework he set out for me.

I wanted to be able to move past things

in the past and get better.

And I know if I don't do this type of stuff,

it's never gonna happen.

So I'll do what I have to do.

[groans]

[Ontreon] Hello, how are you?

[cashier] Not bad, how about yourself, man?

Good. Let me get, oh, um...

A caramel frappe with a cinnamon roll.

- [cashier] You got it. - Yeah.

All right, man. We will get this right out for you.

Okay.

Today, I'm taking some time to do the homework

that Dr. Paradise wanted me to do as a preacher.

I guess he wants me to write a message about grief.

So I decided to grab me something sweet

to help me out with that process.

It's the little reward that will help me stay focused.

So, David wrote the Book of Psalms.

He was a king in the Bible.

You know, David, he's slaying Goliath

when he was young.

And so, for him to grow up being a young king...

being kind of isolated,

his life was full of grief.

I understand, because the people that I connected to

that understood who I am, they're gone.

And so, I understand where David is at this point.

It was like David was confessing.

I came to a place of this grief,

like, it brought depression, it brought on physical pain,

it destroyed me.

You can tell that depression set in.

So once he confessed,

God showed up and started restoring him.

Trusting in God, knowing that He's there,

knowing that He is with you,

you know, you can start to overcome.

[slow instrumental music playing]

I'm heading to my next appointment with Dr. Now.

I'm super nervous

'cause this weigh-in can make it or break it for me.

I continued working on my emotional issues,

and making progress at that.

I have a long way to go before I get to a good place,

but I'm hoping that the work has led to more progress.

I'm scared because I'm not sure that it has.

Working on all this emotional stuff has been good,

but it made it a lot harder for me sometimes to end it

because it makes me want to eat.

It really does, so it's just been a struggle these last few months.

Ontreon.

[Ontreon] But I know that I'm going in a positive direction,

now more than ever.

I just need my progress to be enough.

[nurse] Okay, you can go ahead and step on the scale.

[Ontreon] At my last appointment I weighed 689 pounds,

and my assignment was to lose 80 pounds in two months.

And if I did that today, I would've been down to 609 pounds.

Okay, your weight is 704.

[Ontreon] You know, I don't know what happened.

It's so discouraging sometimes.

[nurse] Okay, we're gonna go to Room Five.

[Ontreon] It feels like no matter what I do,

it's not gonna be good enough.

I can't help but feel that I messed up my chances

because I know that Dr. Now would not be happy.

And if he gives up on me,

that I know that I will have let Musa down.

[knocking at door]

Hello, how y'all doing?

Good.

Good.

Well, Ontreon, what is going on?

Because not only did you gain weight,

you're heavier than the first day I saw you.

So it's been seven months,

and you don't make any progress,

and nothing we have done has been able to wake you up,

and it looks like that includes psychotherapy, too.

Did you learn anything from starting therapy?

What I learned is that, um, I needed to deal

with the emotional baggage,

um, that I have

and to, uh, process it

and, um, learn how to overcome it.

I don't know exactly where I... I messed up at,

um, 'cause from our discussion that me and him had, that...

That it was kind of

my emotional baggage is related definitely

to the... To the weight.

So somewhere...

Somewhere I didn't figure something out,

and so, um, I definitely want to see him again,

um, to continue to work, um, on the psychological part.

And I definitely believe that the...

That the physical weight, too, will line up. Um...

Well, how do you explain that you gained 15 pounds

instead of losing any?

You haven't had made that choice to change your life,

and you keep gaining, gaining, gaining.

I don't have any objection for you to seeing the therapist again.

So you go see,

uh, your therapist again

and have... Find a way

to figure out what is behind

all those emotional issues that's driving you to eat.

And at this point, we've done all we can,

but you haven't responded to it.

But you tell me, is there anything

we can do to help you out?

Anything that we're missing?

What... What do you think,

um, we can give you that is gonna work?

What do you think is the solution for the problem?

Um...

To be honest right now, I... You know...

You know, I... I don't know. So I guess my...

My thing is...

Is that no, I don't have... I'm not where...

Where we want to be,

but just don't give up on me yet.

You don't have to. It's not your position to.

You can, that's fine. I understand,

but I know there's progress that's been made.

It's just not as significant as where we want it to be

and maybe even as quickly as we want it to be,

but there's progress.

I can say today that, yes, I want to live today.

You asked me that yesterday and I was honest with you.

I would have told you no, I don't care,

but today, I do.

You know, It's just one step at a time,

and it is frustrating.

You know... You know everybody was upset at the scale,

but they don't feel the disappointment that I feel

and the frustration.

So that's on me,

you know, we can... We can talk about whatever,

but that hurts me more than anybody else

because I know... I know the changes that...

That I've been making

and trying to be make... And try to keep making.

Even though I struggle, even though the weight says one thing,

I've been making changes

and doing my best,

and... And I understand. I understand everything that you said.

I understand everything that Musa said,

even my mother,

you know, even friends, I understand all of it,

and but it's just...

You know, I just... I just gotta keep to... Continue to work.

[Dr. Now] Ontreon, I get what you're saying,

and I don't doubt that you're working on some things

and making some level of progress,

but this program with me can't start without a choice.

That is the, uh, situation that we are in,

and you, in your mind, you haven't made that choice.

You just, um, keep eating everything,

and you want somebody to accept the way you are,

and you don't want to lose weight,

and you just want to make a gesture of it,

but you're running out of time.

So I hope to see you wake up at some point,

but unless that happens, there is no need

to keep wasting time.

But if you do turn things around, give me a call.

Other than that, I wish you luck. Okay?

Okay.

All right, have a safe trip back.

Thank you so much.

[Dr. Now] Bye.

It is always disappointing to get to this point.

I was hoping sending Ontreon to therapy

would at least start him going in the right direction,

even if it was just a little bit.

But the fact that he gained weight since then

shows me even more that he's still waiting

for someone to save him from his situation

and solve his problems for him.

And that's not gonna work.

There is no magic solution out there for him.

And until he starts to take responsibility for himself

to take the first step towards taking his life back,

then there is nothing we can do for him

to help him, as much as we may want to.

But the fact that he wants to keep going to therapy is positive,

and if he does that, then I'm hopeful that Ontreon

will get to the point

where he does wake up to make the choices he needs to save his life

so that, at some point down the road,

we can move ahead with him.

I just hope he does it before his time runs out.

[Ontreon] Well, I know I have a lot of soul-searching to do,

and I think that, with Dr. Now sending me to therapy,

I see that I've given up on myself, deep inside.

Okay.

And I know that I need to change that if I want to live.

I know I need to fight for my life,

'cause I feel like I'm letting everyone down.

[grunting]

But that doesn't mean I'm giving up.

In some ways, I'm just beginning.

[breathing heavily]

I know that I have a lot of work to do to save my life,

but strangely enough,

I feel like for the first time in a long time,

that I'm gonna try to do it.