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[ POLICE RADIO CHATTER ]

-DEBENTURE DIVISION CRIME SCENE, BRAVO 6-1-4-0-1.

FIRST RESPONDERS FROM SURVIVOR REPORT --

TWO-STORY PRIVATE RESIDENCE, 5902 BALTANA, VAN NUYS.

NO EXTERIOR LIGHTS.

[ RADIO CHATTER CONTINUES ]

RESIDENCE FRONT DOOR UNSECURED.

MALE VICTIM, 40s, PREMISES KITCHEN.

EAST SIDE, FIRST STORY.

MULTIPLE GUNSHOT WOUNDS TO THE BACK, SMALL CALIBER.

VICTIM TWO -- MALE, 30s, SOUTH-SIDE PREMISES, HALLWAY.

SINGLE GUNSHOT WOUND TO THE BACK.

HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

VICTIM THREE --

FEMALE, 30s, BLUNT-FORCE TRAUMA TO THE HEAD.

IS SHE BREATHING?

-YEAH, GET US A BUS.

[ RADIO CHATTER CONTINUES ]

-ANOTHER ONE.

VICTIM FOUR -- FEMALE, 20s,

SOUTHEAST LAWN, REAR OF PREMISES,

SINGLE GUNSHOT WOUND TO THE BACK.

JESUS.

[ DOG BARKING ]

-TEXTING A FRIEND?

-YEAH.

-IS IT YOUR BOYFRIEND?

-YEAH.

-DOES HE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE OUT DOING?

-[ CHUCKLES ]

YEAH.

-WHAT'S THAT?

-I'M GONNA GET FUCKED.

-WHAT ELSE?

-I'M GONNA SUCK A DICK...

MAYBE TWO DICKS.

-I THINK WE CAN ARRANGE THAT.

-AND I'M GONNA SWALLOW SOME CUM. [ CHUCKLES ]

-AREN'T YOU FORGETTING SOMETHING?

-UM...I...

-I MEAN...

YOU KNOW WHAT OUR WEBSITE IS ABOUT -- RIGHT? --

WHAT MAKES US...SPECIAL.

[ HANDCUFFS CLINKING ]

-[ GROANING ]

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

-THAT MUST BE ASHLEY.

-SHE'S EARLY.

-SHOULD WE JUST WING IT?

-YOU THINK SHE'S COOL?

-[ SCREAMS ]

-SHUT THE FUCK UP!

-[ SOBS ]

-HI, THERE.

-HI. I'M ASHLEY SAINT.

-DEVIN.

-DEVIN.

I WOULD REALLY RATHER DO MY PAPERWORK BEFORE WE FILM ME,

SO CAN YOU TURN THIS OFF?

-UH, WE USE EVERYTHING AS PART OF THE SHOW.

-OKAY, WELL, WE CAN GO BACK AND STAGE IT LATER.

IT'S NOT HARD.

TURN THE FUCKER OFF OR I'M NOT SIGNING ANYTHING.

THANK YOU.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

-DO YOU WANT SOME WATER OR...COFFEE?

-ANYTHING? -I'M -- I'M FINE. THANKS.

[ SCOFFS LIGHTLY ]

-[ MOANS ]

-WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

-SIT DOWN.

WE'RE -- WE'RE SHOOTING IN THERE.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

-CAN WE FINISH THIS SCENE?

-GO FOR IT.

OKAY, ON FRAME. GO.

-[ MOANING ]

-WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!

TURN OFF THE CAMERA!

-HEY, IT'S COOL!

-OKAY, NO, I DO NOT DO THIS SICK RAPE SHIT.

-JESUS. RELAX. IT'S COOL!

-OKAY, THEN WHY'D SHE SCREAM?

-I STEPPED ON HER ANKLE, OKAY?

I DIDN'T MEAN TO.

-HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? NO. GET OUT OF HERE.

YOU! GET OUT OF HERE!

-ALL RIGHT, DUDE. LET'S ROLL.

-YOU GUYS TRY ANYTHING, AND I WILL FUCK YOU UP.

[ SIGHS ]

-NO, IT'S OKAY.

HE REALLY DID STEP ON MY ANKLE.

-YEAH. YOU'RE CASEY, RIGHT?

LOOK, I KNOW THESE GUYS.

THEY RAPED A FRIEND OF MINE. THEY'RE BAD GUYS.

-IT'S JUST A JOB.

-[ Sighing ] OH, SWEETIE.

UGH.

GET IN HERE. UNTIE HER.

-YOU UNTIE HER.

-NO, I AM NOT TAKING MY EYES OFF OF YOU.

UNTIE HER.

-THIS IS FUCKING RETARDED.

-MAN, WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER BITCH BAD-MOUTHING US.

FUCKING BITCHES ARE A DIME A DOZEN.

-I TOLD YOU, DON'T FILM ME.

-WHY NOT? -BECAUSE I SAID SO.

WHERE ARE HER CLOTHES?

-DOWN THE HALL.

-HEY, CASE, I THINK YOU SHOULD WAIT HERE.

-JUST GETTING MY SHIT.

-[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

YOU BETTER SHUT THAT OFF.

-IT'S MY PLACE. IT'S MY CAMERA.

I CAN FILM WITH IT WHAT I WANT.

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WALKED IN HERE AND FUCKED UP OUR BUSINESS.

WE SHOULD SUE YOU.

-FUCK YOU. CASEY?!

-HEY, SHE'S GOT A RIGHT TO EARN A LIVING.

WHAT ARE YOU? SOME HOLIER-THAN-THOU FUCKING WHORE?

-HEY, CASEY!

-RELAX!

RELAX, ALL RIGHT? THEY'RE COMING.

-GET OUT OF MY WAY.

-YOU SPRAY THAT SHIT ON ME, I'LL FUCK YOU UP.

-CASEY.

AAH! NO! LET GO OF ME!

LET GO OF ME! AAH! AAH!

NO! OW!

[ CRYING ]

OW! OW! OW! LET GO!

[ SCREAMING ] OW! LET GO!

NO! OW! OW! OKAY, STOP!

-SHUT UP!

-STOP. THAT IS MY BUTTHOLE.

-[ Laughing ] SHIT. SORRY. SORRY. SO SORRY.

[ BOTH LAUGHING ]

-FUCK!

-OUR STAR, GENTLEMEN...

-[ LAUGHS ]

-...ASHLEY SAINT.

LET'S GIVE HER A BIG HAND. THANK YOU. THAT'S VERY NICE.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. THAT'S LUNCH, ALL RIGHT?

-[ Laughing ] GET OFF OF ME.

-ASH.

-[ MOANS ]

-THAT IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING THING I'VE EVER SEEN.

-[ LAUGHS ]

-GREAT RAPE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

-THIS LENS IS FILTHY.

HEY, DO WHAT YOU JUST DID.

-OKAY, GO BACK OUT AND COME BACK IN?

-YEAH, BUT FROM OVER THERE.

-OKAY. OH, OVER THERE. OKAY.

-GOOD.

-THIS DOOR, RIGHT? -YEP.

-OKAY.

-OKAY, WHENEVER.

HEY, ASHLEY.

-HEY, MIKE.

-WHATCHA DOING?

-JUST HERE TO PICK UP MY CHECK.

-ASH, YOU'RE OUR HOTTEST GIRL.

-OKAY, WHERE'S THE WALL CAM?

-IT'S THE...BLACK SQUARE

WITH THE PIECE OF GLASS IN THE MIDDLE OF IT.

WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK IT IS?

-[ Chuckling ] YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE.

-OKAY, LOOK, CAN WE --

LET'S GET BACK TO THE PERFORMANCE, OKAY?

-OKAY.

-HEY, ASH, SO, UH, YOU'RE OUR HOTTEST GIRL.

-MM-HMM.

-YOU'VE DONE ALL OF OUR WEBSITES EXCEPT FOR ONE.

WE THINK IT'S TIME YOU DO "LUCKY BASTARD."

-WHICH ONE IS THAT?

-THAT'S THE ONE WHERE YOU FUCK ONE OF YOUR LUCKY FANS --

THE LUCKY BASTARD.

-HA. HOW ABOUT NO FUCKING WAY?

HAVE A NICE DAY, MIKE.

-OH, COME ON, ASH! I'M FILMING THIS!

Fuck. ASH.

-NO.

NO ANAL AND NO AMATEURS.

-YOU'LL DO RAPE PORN, BUT -- BUT NOT THIS.

-OKAY, MIKE, THAT IS ACTING.

-IT'S A SHOW. IT'S ENTERTAINMENT.

-I'M A PROFESSIONAL.

-YOU'RE AN ENTERTAINER.

-ACTUALLY, I AM A SINGLE MOTHER.

-OH, THAT'S AROUSING.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

"HOW TO LIMP-DICK YOUR AUDIENCE, BY ASHLEY SAINT."

-[ SCOFFS ]

ALL RIGHT, YOU WANT AN ADULT VIDEO?

FINE.

HEY, THERE, SPORTS FANS.

ASHLEY SAINT HERE.

MM! YEAH.

HOW IS THIS FOR ADULT CONTENT, HMM?

I AM A SINGLE MOTHER

WHOSE EX-HUSBAND LOVED CRYSTAL METH

MORE THAN HE LOVED ME.

MM! YEAH.

IS THAT ADULT ENOUGH FOR YOU?

-ASHLEY, PLEASE STOP THIS SHIT.

-MM!

LATER, YOU WILL COME HOME WITH ME,

AND YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO?

AHH!

My taxes.

Yes! We'll do my taxes, baby.

AHH! AND THEN WE'LL GO TO THE SUPERMARKET,

AND YOU WILL FEED ME THOSE TWO-FOR-ONE COUPONS

THAT MAKE MY PUSSY SO DRIPPING WET FOR SAVINGS!

OH, YES! YUM!

MMM! MMM!

WE GOT ADULT NOW?

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

WHAT AM I GETTING MYSELF INTO?

EW! NO, NOT HIM. HE LOOKS DIRTY.

NOPE. NO BLACK GUYS.

-JESUS, ASH. RACISM? WE'RE SHOOTING THIS.

-OH. YOU CAN'T USE ANYTHING I SAY ABOUT BLACK DICK.

BLACK GUY'S DICKS ARE WAY TOO BIG.

-YEAH, BUT THEY LOOK GREAT ON CAMERA.

-YEAH, BUT IF THEY'RE TOO LONG, THEY HIT YOUR CERVIX.

-THEY HIT YOUR CERVIX, PERHAPS.

-ALL RIGHT, DO WE DO BACKGROUND CHECKS ON THESE GUYS?

-YEAH, WE HAVE THEM TAKE AN STD TEST.

-THAT IS NOT WHAT I'M ASKING.

HOW DO WE KNOW THESE GUYS AREN'T STALKERS OR SOMETHING?

-U-UH, OKAY, WE'LL DO A CRIMINAL CHECK.

ALL RIGHT, HERE'S ANOTHER GUY.

-ALL RIGHT. -HUH?

-HMM.

-HEY, GUYS.

IT'S DAVE G. HERE.

JUST WANTED TO SAY WHAT A HUGE FAN OF "LUCKY BASTARD" I AM.

YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST ON THE NET,

AND I LOVE YOUR STUFF.

UM, I DON'T KNOW.

SOME FOLKS MIGHT THINK IT'S WEIRD

TO WANT TO FUCK A PORN STAR, BUT...

[ Chuckling ] I THINK IT'D BE PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME.

-OH, BOY.

-I'M GONNA START OVER.

-OH, HE'S STARTING OVER. -NO, NO, WAIT. NO.

-UH, YOU WANT MY STORY?

HERE IT IS -- I DID MY B.A. IN PSYCHOLOGY,

SOME JUNIOR-HIGH COUNSELING.

THEN CAME THE CUTBACKS,

AND AROUND THAT SAME TIME, I LOST MY BROTHER TO CANCER.

-AW.

-AND I WAS TOTALLY BUMMED.

AND ONE DAY, THIS BUDDY OF MINE AND I WERE LIKE,

"YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK IT. LET'S JOIN THE ARMY."

SO, OVERSEAS WE GO TO DO OUR PART FOR OUR COUNTRY,

AND, UM...

IF ANYONE SHOULD GET TO BE THE LUCKY BASTARD

THAT GETS TO NAIL A HOT PORN STAR,

IT SHOULD BE ME.

IT SHOULD BE ME.

I'M, UH...

I'M A DECE-- I'M A DECENT GUY.

I'M A NICE PERSON.

-NOPE. NO WAY.

-ASHLEY, COME ON!

-KRIS, I LOVE YOU.

I AM NOT DOING THIS. GO SHOOT SOMEBODY ELSE.

-IGNORE HER. SHOOT EVERYTHING. NEVER STOP SHOOTING.

-NO, FORGET IT, MIKE. I AM NOT DOING IT.

YOU'RE GONNA HUMILIATE THESE GUYS.

-YES! THAT'S THE JOKE.

IT'S -- IT'S LIKE "QUEEN FOR A DAY."

THEY WOULD FIND THIS --

THIS HOUSEWIFE AND GIVE HER A WASHING MACHINE.

-OH, WHAT? SO, I'M THE WASHING MACHINE?

-YES, THAT'S BRILLIANT.

IT'S -- WE FIND, LIKE, REGULAR GUYS

AND GIVE THEM A PORN STAR.

-NO.

-THOUSAND BUCKS.

UH, OKAY, NOW WE'RE [Chuckling] TALKING.

YOU HAVE A PRICE? WHAT IS IT?

-$5,000.

-NOBODY GETS $5,000.

-I'M NOT FUCKING A FAN.

-$1,500.

OKAY, THERE'S -- THERE'S -- THERE'S MY ASHLEY.

THERE'S MY LITTLE STRIPPER THAT I TURNED INTO A PORN STAR, HUH?

-I'M GOING TO HELL.

-1,500 BUCKS FOR LITTLE ASHLEY JUNIOR.

FOR LITTLE METH-HEAD JUNIOR.

-SHUT THE FUCK UP. THOSE ARE MY KIDS.

No one's ever gonna see this.

PEACE OUT! [ CAR DOOR CLOSES ]

SHE WAS SO MUCH MORE FUN

WHEN THAT THERMOS WAS FILLED WITH VODKA.

-YEAH, BABY! THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT!

-OH, GOD! LOVE IT! -OH! FUCK! YEAH!

-OH! MAN!

[ PHONE RINGS ]

-OHH.

-WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS?

-OHH, THAT'S MY EX-WIFE.

I GOT TO TALK TO HER ABOUT THE KIDS.

-ALL RIGHT.

-NO, IT'S NOT HER.

HELLO?

[ MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PHONE ]

UH, YEAH. THIS IS -- THIS IS MIKE FROM "LUCKY BASTARD."

-Hey, it's Dave returning your call.

-UH, I HAVE GOOD NEWS.

-No way.

-YOU ARE THE "LUCKY BASTARD."

-Oh, man! I thought no way I'd be picked!

-THE GODS HAVE SPOKEN.

UH, YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING ELSE?

-What?

-YOU GET TO FUCK ASHLEY SAINT.

-Dude! Very cool!

-YOU GOT YOUR CALENDAR?

-Uh, what?

-WHAT DO YOU THINK, THAT, UH,

"LUCKY BASTARD" JUST HAPPENS FROM SOME MAGIC FAIRY?

-No, I...

-WELL -- WELL, IT DOES, BUT THE MAGIC FAIRY IS ME,

SO, UH, LET'S PICK A DATE

SO THAT YOU CAN GET YOUR LUCKY COCK

INSIDE ASHLEY SAINT'S HOT, TIGHT PUSSY.

-Yeah, okay.

-GUY WANTED ME TO PAY FOR HIS STD TEST.

-WELL, MAYBE HE CAN'T AFFORD IT.

-IF HE CAN AFFORD

"LUCKY BASTARD'S" $30-A-MONTH SUBSCRIPTION FEE,

HE CAN AFFORD AN HIV TEST.

-HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S A MEMBER?

-'CAUSE ONLY MEMBERS CAN GET TO THE APPLICATION PAGE, BABE.

-I LOVE YOUR VIEW.

-YEAH? SEE WHAT FILTH AND PERVERSION HAVE DONE FOR ME?

[ LIGHTER CLICKS ]

BABE, PLEASE, I CAN'T START SMOKING AGAIN.

-FUCKING GO INSIDE, THEN.

-JESUS! THE MOUTH ON YOU.

HOW DID YOU GET DOWN HERE FROM SACRAMENTO?

YOU DRIVE YOUR 18-WHEELER?

I'M EATING. THIS IS DISGUSTING.

-OF ALL THE THINGS I'VE SHOT FOR THIS MAN,

THIS IS DISGUSTING.

-KRIS, GO AWAY.

-WHAT'S WRONG?

-NOTHING.

-BULLSHIT.

-IF I NEED A SHRINK, I'LL FIND ONE.

-WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS SEE YOUR KIDS MORE.

-SHE AIN'T MAKING IT EASY.

-SORRY, MAN. THAT SUCKS.

-CAN I JUST EAT MY FUCKING BURGER IN PEACE?

-[ MOANING ]

-LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT ME. -OH, YEAH!

OH, GOD! YOU'RE HOT!

YOU'RE [MOANING]

-IT'S ACTUALLY SHOT QUITE NICELY.

YOU KNOW, MIKE STARTED OUT AS A CAMERAMAN.

YOU ALL RIGHT?

-YEAH. WHY?

-LET'S JUST SAY I'VE BEEN DOING THIS A WHILE,

AND YOU KIND OF HAVE THE DEAD-EYE-PORN-STAR LOOK.

-DID I?

-OH, WE'VE SEEN IT PLENTY OF TIMES.

-SORRY.

-DON'T BE SORRY. YOU HAVE ANY LOOK YOU WANT.

-OH, YEAH! OH!

-OKAY, SO, WE PICK UP ASHLEY AT HER HOUSE

AND THEN WE GET THE KID FROM THE BUS STATION.

ALL RIGHT, WE GOT THE HOUSE?

-FROM, UH, 9:00 TO 7:00.

-AND HOW MUCH IS THE HOUSE?

-A THOUSAND.

-JESUS CHRIST.

WHY CAN'T WE USE THE OFFICE COUCH?

-BECAUSE THE HOUSE HAS 18 FUCKING WALL CAMERAS

FROM SOME BULLSHIT REALITY SHOW.

-THE FUCKERS JUST STEAL IT ANYWAY.

20 MINUTES AFTER WE POST IT,

IT'S ON EVERY BitTorrent SITE IN RUSSIA.

-WAIT -- YOU WANT ME TO CANCEL THE HOUSE?

-NO, 'CAUSE WE NEED TO IMPRESS ASHLEY.

AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU GOT INTO PORN?

-CAN I USE ONE OF THE CAMERAS?

WELL, IT LOOKS FUN. I USED TO DO PHOTOGRAPHY.

-UH, MAYBE THIS ISN'T A GOOD TIME FOR A NEWBIE.

-UH, LET CASEY SHOOT SOME B-ROLL.

IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S 35. IT DOESN'T COST US SHIT.

-IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT.

-ASHLEY, WE'RE ROLLING UP.

CASEY, YOU BREAK THAT,

YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO FUCK TO PAY FOR IT.

-KRIS?

-MY WIFE WILL NOT LIKE ME.

-I HOPE SHE DOESN'T FLAKE.

I HAD TO TALK HER INTO THE AMATEUR THING.

-I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS FUCKING A FAN.

I HEARD SHE WAS A BIG PARTY GIRL IN VEGAS.

[ HORN HONKS ] -WHERE'D YOU HEAR THAT?

-SOME GIRL AT THE CLUB.

-OKAY, SHE USED TO WORK THE STRIP.

DON'T MENTION THAT. SHE HATES THAT.

I'M SERIOUS, CASEY. DON'T TALK TO HER ABOUT HOOKING.

-ALL RIGHT.

-HERE SHE COMES. HERE SHE IS.

THERE WE GO.

-SHE LOOKS CUTE.

-HEY! -HEY.

-WOW, YOU LOOK GREAT.

-OH, THANKS, HONEY.

I WAS GONNA WEAR THE BLUE TOP,

BUT IT HAD SPAGHETTI STAINS ON IT.

MIKE, LET'S DO THIS BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND.

-OKAY.

-AW, ASH. WELL, WHO DIED? -WHAT?

-COME ON, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO A FUNERAL.

-OH, SORRY.

-THAT'S MY GIRL.

-OKAY, UH, WE GOT A CHEETOS SITUATION BACK HERE.

-GOD DAMN IT. I TOOK THE KIDS TO LITTLE LEAGUE.

I BEGGED THEM NOT TO MAKE A MESS.

-MM, I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU FILMED A FOOD-FETISH MOVIE.

-REMEMBER WHEN WE COULD MAKE A FETISH FILM AND JUST USE FOOD?

NOW YOU NEED LIKE 40 GUYS AND AN ENDANGERED SPECIES.

ENDANGERED-SPECIES PORN -- ANYONE DOING THAT?

-YOU'RE A VISIONARY, MIKE.

-AW, FUCK YOURSELF.

ASHLEY. -MM-HMM.

-CHEER UP.

-I'M FINE.

AT LEAST HE'S KIND OF CUTE.

GOD, I HOPE HE CAN FUCK.

WHAT? DID YOU GET PROMOTED?

-I'M JUST HAVING FUN.

-MM-HMM.

MAYBE HE WON'T SHOW UP.

-DON'T UNDERESTIMATE YOURSELF.

[ PHONE RINGS ]

OH, HERE. HEY, BRO.

YEAH, WE'RE OUTSIDE.

UH, WE'RE IN A MAROON MERCEDES S.U.V.,

AND WE DON'T HAVE A PERMIT, SO WE GOT TO MAKE THIS QUICK.

-REALLY? RIGHT OFF THE BAT WITH THE CONTEMPTUOUS PRICK?

-HEY, DON'T GIVE ME THAT SHIT.

HERE'S WHAT PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND --

WE'RE IN PORNOGRAPHY,

BUT OUR PROBLEMS ARE THE SAME AS EVERYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD.

EVERYTHING'S FUCKED UP, PEOPLE ARE MORONS,

YOU CAN'T GET GOOD HELP.

-THE BOSSES ARE ASSHOLES.

-THE BOSSES ARE ASSHOLES.

WE COULD BE SELLING INSURANCE IN PEORIA.

-YEAH, BUT PEOPLE DON'T WATCH INSURANCE AGENTS

ON THEIR COMPUTERS.

THEY WATCH US.

-YOU KNOW HOW SMART THIS GIRL IS?

SHE WAS RECRUITED BY NASA AND "DRIPPING WET CUNTS V,"

AND IT WAS A CLOSE CALL,

BUT SHE WENT WITH "DRIPPING WET CUNTS V."

-UH, IT WAS ACTUALLY THE FOURTH INSTALLMENT,

BUT, REALLY, THAT'S WHAT WE CALL DISTINCTION

WITHOUT A DIFFERENCE.

-JESUS, MIKE. YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE.

-AW, IT'S JUST HIS SHTICK.

HE LIKES TO BE THE BIG MAN EMCEE.

RIGHT, MIKE?

-YOU THINK IT'S EASY DOING WHAT I DO?

YOU TRY IT.

YEAH, THERE WE GO.

-THERE WE GO. -COME ON.

-[ GRUNTS ]

HERE HE IS! HERE'S OUR LUCKY BASTARD.

-HEY.

-WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! D-DUDE, DUDE!

WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT CLOTHING?

-I DON'T KNOW.

-YOU CAN'T WEAR A DODGERS T-SHIRT.

MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL WILL SUE OUR ASSES OFF.

-I FORGOT.

-DO YOU HAVE ANOTHER SHIRT?

-YEAH, IN MY BAG.

-OKAY, GO INTO THE MEN'S ROOM,

CHANGE INTO THE OTHER SHIRT,

COME OUT, AND WE'LL DO THIS AGAIN.

-ALL RIGHT. -OKAY.

-AND YOU MOVED TO HOLLYWOOD TO BE THE NEXT STEVEN SPIELBERG!

-CASEY?

TELL KRIS TO STICK THAT CAMERA UP HIS ASS.

-STICK THAT CAMERA UP YOUR ASS.

[ LAUGHS ]

-COME ON.

-[ GIGGLES ]

-HERE HE IS! HERE'S OUR LUCKY BASTARD.

OKAY, DAVE, FROM OXNARD.

THIS IS, UH, K-KRIS, OUR DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY.

THIS IS CASEY BEHIND THIS CAMERA,

AND, OF COURSE, YOU RECOGNIZE ASHLEY SAINT.

[ Chuckling ] MY GOD. LOOK AT THAT REACTION.

THAT'S FROM A HANDSHAKE.

CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW GREAT IT'S GONNA BE TO FUCK HER?

-[ INHALES SHARPLY ]

-OKAY, WE DON'T WANT TO CUT OFF HER CIRCULATION.

-I'M HONORED TO BE HERE.

-THAT'S THE SPIRIT.

OKAY, LET'S GO.

-LET'S GO.

-YOU SIT NEXT TO ASHLEY, OKAY?

-COOL.

-OKAY, YOU GET IN FIRST, BUDDY, ALL RIGHT?

-COME ON, KRIS. LET'S GO.

-DON'T MIND THE CHEETOS ON THE FLOOR.

-YOU HAVE THE RELEASE FORM?

HEY. RELEASE FORM?

-YEAH, YEAH.

-OKAY.

THERE WE GO.

ALL RIGHT, I GOT TO CHECK YOUR I.D.

ALL RIGHT.

"ERNEST."

WHO'S ERNEST?

-I DON'T -- UH, I DON'T WANT TO USE MY REAL NAME.

-THE FORM HAS TO HAVE YOUR REAL NAME.

-WHY?

-BECAUSE IF YOU'RE 17, I GO TO SAN QUENTIN.

THAT'S -- NOT THAT YOU'RE --

CASEY, CAN YOU REACH MY BAG IN THE BACK THERE?

I THINK I HAVE A BLANK.

DAVE.

DAVE.

ERNEST?

IF -- IF YOU WANT ME TO CALL YOU DAVE,

YOU -- YOU HAVE TO RESPOND TO THAT.

ARE YOU TEXTING?

-I WAS JUST CHECKING THE DODGERS' SCORE.

-OKAY, WE HAVE SOME WORK. YOU WANT TO PUT THAT AWAY?

OKAY, GOOD.

CASEY, YOU ROLLING?

-I'M GOOD.

-HEY, WELCOME TO "LUCKY BASTARD."

WE HAVE DAVE G. FROM OXNARD

AND THE FABULOUS ASHLEY SAINT.

ASHLEY, SHOW THEM WHAT THEY'RE PLAYING FOR.

[ Laughing ] THERE YOU GO.

NOW, YOU'RE GONNA GET TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH THOSE,

BUT FIRST YOU GOT TO TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF.

WHY ARE YOU QUALIFIED TO BE THE LUCKY BASTARD?

NOW, WHAT DID YOU SAY? YOUR BROTHER DIED OF CANCER?

-HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND.

-OH, WELL, I'M SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.

WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?

-RIGHT NOW? -YEAH.

-UH...CONSTRUCTION MOSTLY.

I-I'VE BEEN CARRYING PIPE FOR PLUMBERS, AND...

-OKAY, HOW'S THAT GOING?

-WELL, WORK'S BEEN A LITTLE SLOW.

I'M AT THE BOTTOM OF SENIORITY.

-SO, YEAH.

SO, MEANWHILE, YOU JUST SIT AROUND

AND WHACK OFF TO "LUCKY BASTARD," HUH?

[ Chuckling ] WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU GOT LAID?

-THIS MORNING. -IT'S BEEN...

-OH. -...A WHILE.

-WAIT -- WHO ARE YOU ASKING? -I HAVE GOOD NEWS.

YOU'VE BEEN WORKING FOR PLUMBERS.

TODAY YOU'RE GONNA GET YOUR PIPES CLEANED.

[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]

GO AHEAD, BRO. CHECK 'EM OUT.

-[ CHUCKLES ]

-Yeah. Come on.

[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]

AH, I THINK HE'S GETTING EXCITED.

-DUDE, ARE YOU SPORTING A CHUBBY?

-AND I THINK I KNOW SOMEONE

WHO'S NOT GONNA BE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT ONE DAY.

-[ LAUGHS ]

-YEAH?

[ VIDEO CAMERA CLICKING ]

-WHAT ARE WE DOING? -YOU KNOW THE FORMAT --

WE FUCK YOU, BUT FIRST WE FEED YOU.

-Uh, are you gonna edit this?

-NO, WE'RE GONNA SHOW FOUR HOURS OF RAW FOOTAGE.

YES, WE'RE GONNA EDIT THIS.

-OKAY, 'CAUSE YOU MAKE FUN OF THE GUYS,

AND, UH, I DON'T WANT TO BE MADE FUN OF.

-WE'RE NOT LAUGHING AT YOU -- WE'RE LAUGHING WITH YOU.

-[ SIGHS ] I'VE SEEN THE SITE.

-ASHLEY? COME TALK TO HIM.

-HEY, HONEY. YOU OKAY?

-GOD, YOU'RE SO HOT.

-THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE NOT SO BAD YOURSELF.

-I'M ACTUALLY KIND OF EXCITED RIGHT NOW.

-DON'T LOOK AT ME.

-GO IN THE MEN'S ROOM AND WHACK OFF.

I'M SERIOUS. I-IT'LL TAKE YOUR MIND OFF IT.

COME ON.

-LET'S GO.

SO...

-SO, WHAT?

-WHAT DO YOU THINK?

-I THINK YOU'RE GONNA BE ABLE TO HANDLE HIM JUST FINE.

THOSE SPERM DIED A HERO'S DEATH.

HOLD ON. SOME-- SOMETHING'S WRONG HERE.

CASEY, DID YOU FUCK UP THIS CAMERA?

-NO. IT WAS WORKING.

-UH, LET'S -- LET'S JUST GO, OKAY?

COME ON, LET'S GO.

HERE WE ARE WITH OUR LUCKY BASTARD DAVE

FOR HIS PRE-FUCK FEAST.

SO, TELL ME, DAVE,

DID YOU EVER THINK YOU'D BE WITH A GIRL THIS HOT?

-YEAH.

-[ Laughing ] YOU DID? SERIOUSLY?

-[ Chuckling ] WHAT?

-I-I DON'T THINK WE WANT HIM LOOKING INTO THE CAMERA AS MUCH.

-OKAY, DON'T -- DON'T LOOK IN THE CAMERA.

LOOK AT HER, OKAY?

-OKAY, AM I SUPPOSED TO DO SOMETHING, OR...

-NO. HANG ON. HANG ON, HANG ON.

BRO. WHAT'S THE MATTER? WHAT'S UP?

-I want to do the sex, okay?

I don't like this talking thing.

-IT'S A PACKAGE.

-MIKE, TAKE IT EASY.

-UH, SHOULD I CUT?

-NO!

LISTEN, PRETEND YOU'RE AN ACTOR, OKAY?

YOU'RE PLAYING THIS GUY FROM OXNARD,

AND HE LOOKS LIKE YOU, AND HE SOUNDS LIKE YOU,

BUT HE'S NOT YOU.

HE'S A CHARACTER.

AND HE'S GONE THROUGH SOME BAD TIMES,

AND NOW HE'S ABOUT TO HAVE SOME GOOD LUCK,

SO HE'S HAPPY, RIGHT?

I MEAN, HOTNESS. FUCK HER BRAINS OUT.

-LOOK, MAN, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING --

PEOPLE LIKE ME, YOUR SUBSCRIBERS,

WE DON'T WATCH THIS SHIT.

WE SKIP TO THE SEX.

-EXCUSE ME. YOU CAN'T FILM HERE.

STOP.

-THIS IS JUST LIKE A FAMILY-VACATION VIDEO.

-YEAH, IT'S -- YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE HOME MOVIES.

THE MANAGER SAID IT'S ALL RIGHT.

-NO, I'M SORRY.

THE OWNER CALLED, AND HE SAYS YOU CAN'T FILM HERE.

HE SAID NO, UM... ADULT PRODUCTION.

-OH, JESUS CHRIST. HOW MUCH MORE DO YOU WANT?

-IT'S NOT ABOUT THE MONEY.

-REALLY? WHAT IS IT YOU WANT?

$100? $150?

-IF YOU DON'T GO, I'M CALLING THE COPS.

-MIKE, BAG IT, MAN. I-IT'S NOT IMPORTANT.

-WHAT NOW?

OH! JU-- ASH!

-I AM OUT OF HERE.

-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

-THIS GUY IS A CREEP.

-WHAT DID HE DO?

-WHAT DID HE DO?! HE ASKED ME OUT TONIGHT.

HE'S LIKE, "AFTER THE SHOOT, YOU WANT TO GO OUT FOR A DRINK?"

-JESUS, THAT'S LAME.

-OKAY, I AM A PROFESSIONAL.

THIS -- THIS IS JUST NOT PROFESSIONAL.

-YES, YOU'RE A PROFESSIONAL.

THAT'S WHY I HIRED YOU. YOU NEED TO DO THIS.

-Okay, you want to know what he did?

He called me by my real name.

He knew my kids' names.

How the fuck did he know that?

-YOU'RE THE ONE THAT SAID HE LOOKED NICE.

-Okay, look, I was wrong, okay?

This -- this -- this is just not gonna work for me.

He's weird, right?

-YOU CREEPED HER OUT.

-WHAT DID I DO?

-YOU CROSSED THE LINE. YOU ASKED HER OUT.

YOU CALLED HER BY HER REAL NAME.

YOU TALKED ABOUT HER KIDS.

-I KNOW HER NAME 'CAUSE IT'S THE SAME AS MY SISTER'S -- MICHELLE.

-BULLSHIT!

-ALL I SAID WAS IT'S -- IT'S A NICE NAME.

-HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU EVEN KNOW THAT?

ARE YOU A STALKER?

-NO! NO. I-I READ IT ONCE.

-WHERE WOULD YOU READ THAT?

-ON A WEBSITE. -BULLSHIT.

-NO, MIKE, IT'S TRUE.

THERE'S THIS WEBSITE

WITH ALL THE PORN STARS' REAL NAMES ON IT.

THEY STOLE IT FROM A CLINIC OR SOMETHING.

-I HEARD ABOUT THAT.

-I'M NOT A STALKER, MAN. CHILL.

-IT DOESN'T MATTER.

SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DO THE SCENE WITH YOU.

-I'M THE LUCKY BASTARD.

-BRO, IT'S A MOOT POINT.

-I'M NOT A BAD GUY. JUST TELL HER!

-DAVE, ERNEST -- WHATEVER --

THIS INDUSTRY HAPPENS BECAUSE OF THE GIRLS.

DO YOU GET THAT?

IF, ONE DAY, ALL THE GIRLS WOKE UP AND SAID,

"NO MORE PORN," YOU KNOW WHAT? THERE'D BE NO MORE PORN.

FUCK ME!

WHAT A NIGHTMARE. I WANT A DRINK.

ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? I-I KNOW I'M AN ASSHOLE.

I'M ALSO ONE OF THE MOST HONEST GUYS

YOU'RE EVER GONNA WANT TO MEET.

-I THINK I'M GETTING THE HANG OF THIS CAMERA.

-THAT'S GREAT.

ALL THIS GUY HAD TO DO WAS SHOW UP,

DO THE SAME THING EVERY GUY DOES ON "LUCKY BASTARD,"

AND GET HIS ROCKS OFF.

WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?

-CAN WE DRIVE UP THE COAST THIS WEEKEND?

-WHAT?

-I THOUGHT WE'D MAKE SOME PLANS,

YOU KNOW, DO SOMETHING FUN.

-CASEY, I HAVE MY KIDS THIS WEEKEND.

BABE, WHY DON'T YOU GO TALK TO THE CREEP, HUH?

SEE IF YOU CAN TALK SOME SENSE INTO HIM.

-I'M SHY, AND PEOPLE GET MAD AT ME.

[ CHUCKLES SOFTLY ]

YOU KNOW, I TRY TO BE NICE. I-I DON'T KNOW.

I THINK I'M JUST NERVOUS ABOUT...

HAVING [SIGHS] SEX ON CAMERA.

-YOU GET USED TO IT.

-YOU'RE A PORN STAR?

-WELL [CHUCKLES] I'M JUST STARTING OUT.

THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND, THE OWNER.

HE'S PUTTING ME IN A FEW THINGS.

ARE YOU CHECKING ME OUT?

-[ CHUCKLES ]

I JUST -- I'M REALLY...

UH, YOU'RE HOT.

[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]

-THANK YOU.

YOU'RE CUTE.

DON'T TELL ME YOU CAN'T GET LAID.

-NOT WITH SOMEONE AS HOT AS ASHLEY.

-GET A HOT HOOKER.

-I DON'T WANT A HOOKER.

-WELL, GO APOLOGIZE.

-YOU THINK SHE'D LISTEN?

-YEAH, GO SAY SORRY AND KISS A LITTLE ASS.

IT WORKS FOR ME.

HEY!

HEY, MIKE!

I HAVE AN IDEA.

-OKAY, YEAH.

COME ON.

-READY?

-ASHLEY, DAVE WANTS TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

-OKAY.

-I'M REALLY SORRY I MADE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.

I KNOW THAT WAS WRONG.

AND, UH [Chuckling] I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE.

UM...I DON'T KNOW YOU,

BUT YOU'RE INCREDIBLY HOT AND BEAUTIFUL,

AND I'M -- I'M INTIMIDATED.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. I'M JUST SOME GUY.

I DON'T KNOW IF -- IF DOING ALL THIS ON CAMERA

IS GONNA MAKE MY LIFE WORSE, OR...

YOU KNOW, I JUST -- NO, I-I WANT TO --

I JUST WANT TO SAY I'M SORRY.

AND IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THE SCENE ANYMORE AND I GO HOME,

I JUST WANT TO SAY I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU

AND -- AND WASTE EVERYONE'S TIME.

THAT'S ALL I GOT.

-THAT IS FUCKING GOLDEN!

ASHLEY, COME ON, THAT'S SO MOVING

I'M GONNA FUCK HIM MYSELF!

-ALL RIGHT.

-YOU'LL DO THE SCENE?

-YEAH, WHAT THE FUCK.

COME HERE.

-AW! [ LAUGHS ]

-JUST MY WAY OF PAYING BACK SOCIETY

FOR ALL THE GOOD IT'S DONE FOR ME.

-JUST DON'T FIND JESUS IN THE NEXT HALF HOUR.

-JESUS AND I ARE JUST FINE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

-[ LAUGHS ]

[ Laughing ] OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

YOU GUYS SIT TIGHT.

YOU GET ALL OF THIS, OKAY?

THIS BROAD IS SO UPTIGHT IT'S UNREAL.

HOLD ON.

HEY!

[ CAR DOOR CLOSES ]

-EXCUSE ME. DO NOT FILM ME.

-NO, NO, NO. I-I NEED THIS.

SO, YOU EVER WONDER WHERE WE GET THE HOUSES WHERE WE SHOOT PORN?

WELL, THIS IS SUZANNE, AND SHE, UH, SHE RENTS OUT HOUSES

AND WAREHOUSES FOR MOVIE SHOOTS.

SO, TELL US WHY WE LOVE THIS HOUSE SO MUCH, SUZANNE.

-OH, PLEASE.

-It's 'cause it's got the cameras.

HOW MANY CAMERAS DOES THIS HOUSE HAVE, SUZANNE?

-I DON'T REALLY KNOW.

-SHE TOTALLY KNOWS. SHE'S JUST BEING DIFFICULT.

SEE, THIS HOUSE WAS USED FOR ONE OF THOSE REALITY SHOWS,

SO THEY OUTFITTED IT WITH THESE AWESOME LITTLE CAMERAS

LIKE THAT ONE UP THERE, OKAY?

-I'M ABOUT TO CLOSE ON A COOKING SHOW,

SO TRY NOT TO DESTROY THE PLACE. THE CHECK?

-SURE, SURE. THERE YOU GO. OKAY?

-AND PLEASE CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELVES.

DON'T LEAVE CONDOMS EVERYWHERE.

-WE DON'T USE CONDOMS.

SO, IF YOU'RE EVER GONNA FILM IN THE SAN FERNANDO VALLEY,

CALL SUZANNE --

-DO NOT USE MY NAME.

-OKAY.

-AND BE OUT BY 7:00.

-OKAY, GREAT.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

SHE'S STRICT, BUT I LIKE IT.

ASHLEY, DAVE, I NEED YOU TO TAKE SHOWERS.

THAT'S SEPARATE SHOWERS.

AND, UH, WE'RE GONNA USE THE MASTER BEDROOM,

BUT FIRST I WANT TO CHECK OUT THE CAMERAS.

-[ SMOOCHES ]

-HEY, I GOT TO TALK TO YOU.

IS CASEY YOUR...GIRLFRIEND OR SOMETHING?

-WELL, I'M DEFINITELY BANGING HER,

BUT IT'S NOT EXCLUSIVE, YOU KNOW?

-YEAH, SHE'S KIND OF GETTING LIKE THE BOSS' WIFE,

YOU KNOW, WITH THE FILMING AND...

-ALL RIGHT, I WILL NIP THAT IN THE BUD.

THANKS FOR THE HEADS-UP.

-SURE.

ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA NEED MORE DRIVES.

-CALL NICO, HAVE HIM BRING SOME UP.

-[ Mockingly ] I'M GONNA CALL NICO, HAVE HIM BRING SOME UP.

-DICK.

-UH, MIKE, WHERE YOU GOING?

-WHAT'S THAT MUSIC?

[ BACH'S "JESU, JOY OF MAN'S DESIRING," PLAYING ON PIANO ]

WHERE DID YOU LEARN HOW TO DO THAT?

-PIANO LESSONS.

-YOU DON'T HAVE TO STOP PLAYING.

-DON'T FILM ME PLAYING.

-HANG ON.

I CAN FILM YOU FUCKING ON THE PIANO,

BUT I CAN'T FILM YOU PLAYING THE PIANO?

-UH, WERE YOUR PARENTS LOADED OR SOMETHING?

-NO, I USED TO PLAY THE PIANO, AND NOW I'M A PORN STAR.

-WHY?

-THAT'S WHAT I WANT.

-CASEY, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU REALLY WANT?

-WHATEVER I WANT, THAT'S WHAT I DO.

AND WHATEVER I DO, THAT'S WHAT I WANT.

AND I'M A BITCHIN' PORN STAR.

-JESUS, I'M OLD.

OHH.

-[ IMITATING HORROR-MOVIE MUSIC ]

-JESUS CHRIST!

[ LAUGHTER ]

STUPID!

-HEY, LOOK, MA! LOOK, MA!

LOOK, MA! LOOK WHAT I GOT!

-YOU GUYS ARE RETARDED.

FUCK YOU.

-ASHLEY, YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL.

-AWW. THANKS, SWEETIE.

[ DOOR OPENS ]

-ARE YOU SET?

-HEY, MIKE.

DO YOU STILL KNOW THAT GUY WHO DOES THOSE SUPERHERO MOVIES?

-OH, YES, HE WAS LIKE A DRUG BUDDY.

I DON'T THINK I COULD CALL HIM.

-I WANT TO BRANCH OUT.

-BABE, YOU'RE ON TOP OF THE WORLD.

WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO MESS WITH THOSE HOLLYWOOD SCUMBAGS?

-I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN DO THIS.

-LOOK, FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS, DO ALL THE PORN YOU CAN.

THEN PUT IT IN THE BANK. YOUR KIDS WILL THANK YOU FOR IT.

-YEAH, I KNOW.

-THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH SEX.

-I JUST WANT TO DO REAL ACTING.

-[ SIGHS ] THAT'S REALLY HARD, ASHLEY.

-WHY IS IT HARD?

-WHY DO YOU THINK?

-'CAUSE ONCE YOU DO PORN, IT'S LIKE YOU'RE DIRTY?

-PRETTY MUCH. -NO.

PEOPLE GET AROUND THAT.

I'LL JUST BE SO GOOD THEY WON'T CARE THAT I DID PORN.

-HEY, I'M BEHIND YOU.

-EW. I DO NOT TAKE YOU FROM BEHIND.

IN FACT, I DON'T EVER TAKE YOU. [ CHUCKLES ]

-I-I THINK I'M HURT.

"LUCKY BASTARD" IN FIVE!

[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]

-[ SIGHS ]

[ RAPS TABLE ]

SWEETIE, WILL YOU JUST STOP FILMING THAT FOR A MINUTE?

-YEAH.

[ DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE ]

-DUDE. HOW'S IT COMING?

-I'M OKAY.

-THIS IS PORN SEX.

ALL RIGHT, IT'S A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE.

SO YOU JUST FOLLOW ASHLEY'S LEAD,

'CAUSE SHE KNOWS WHAT LOOKS GOOD FOR CAMERA, ALL RIGHT?

TELL HIM, CASEY.

-YEAH, YOU JUST PRETEND LIKE THE CAMERA'S NOT THERE.

-OKAY. -ALL RIGHT.

HOPE YOU DON'T POP TOO SOON.

-I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

-I MEAN, YOU'VE SEEN THE WEBSITE, RIGHT?

SOME GUYS CAN'T GET IT UP. SOME GUYS POP TOO SOON.

AND IF YOU CUM TOO SOON,

ALL WE CAN REALLY FILM IS YOU GOING DOWN ON HER,

AND THAT'S KIND OF LAME.

-I WON'T.

-ALL RIGHT, GOOD, SO THINK ABOUT BASEBALL

OR, UH, YOU KNOW, THOSE DODGERS OR ANGELS OR WHATEVER,

[ Chuckling ] ALL RIGHT?

-LOCK THAT DOWN RIGHT THERE, NICO.

ALL RIGHT.

OKAY.

SO, UH, YOU WANT ME TO TAKE SOME STILLS OR SOMETHING?

-LOOK, CASEY, YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB,

BUT MAYBE NICO SHOULD SHOOT THE B-ROLL.

-I CAN DO IT.

-NO, NO, HE'S -- HE'S -- HE'S RIGHT.

GIVE IT TO NICO.

-WHY?

-BECAUSE IT'S HIS FUCKING JOB, CASEY, ALL RIGHT?

HE DOESN'T SUCK DICK,

AND YOU DON'T SHOOT THE "LUCKY BASTARD."

HERE.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

-FOR A CIGARETTE, ASSHOLE!

-MIKE, IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL IF I DON'T DO THE B-ROLL.

-NICO, LET ME HANDLE IT.

ALL RIGHT. COME HERE.

ALL RIGHT.

LUCKY BASTARD.

FUCK HER FOR YOUR COUNTRY.

-GET DOWN THERE, BAD BOY.

YEAH.

-[ MOANING ]

-YEAH.

-WAIT. WAIT.

DON'T TOUCH IT! DON'T TOUCH IT!

-OHH.

-FUCK!

-WHAT THE FUCK?!

-I THINK WE HAVE PREMATURE LIFTOFF.

-ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! HE CAME ALREADY?!

-I TOLD HER NOT TO TOUCH IT!

-OH, YOU'RE FUCKING BLAMING ME?

-I'M SORRY.

-OH, NO, OKAY, OKAY. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

LOOK, IF WE GIVE YOU LIKE 20 MINUTES, OKAY,

CAN YOU GO AGAIN AND JUST MAYBE NOT POP SO QUICK?

-YEAH.

-OKAY, NO. -YEAH.

-I AM OUT OF HERE.

-NO, I CAN GO AGAIN.

-NO, THIS IS BULLSHIT.

-FUCK ME.

COME ON! -I CAN DO IT AGAIN.

-HE PUSHED ME!

I AM NOT WORKING WITH HIM!

-ASHLEY, I'M SORRY.

-DUDE, YOU CANNOT PUSH A WOMAN!

-COME ON, DON'T OVERREACT.

-NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? I AM DONE.

THIS -- THIS IS A NEW LOW.

-WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, BABY --

-I KNOW I'M NOT A LAWYER OR HILLARY FUCKING CLINTON,

BUT I HAVE STANDARDS.

I AM A PROFESSIONAL.

THIS -- THIS IS NOT PROFESSIONAL.

THIS IS JUST FUCKING SICK.

-JESUS! RELAX!

YOU'RE JUST TOO FUCKING HOT FOR HIM TO HANDLE.

-OH, SERIOUSLY. WHAT IS HE? FUCKING 12?

IS HE A FUCKING VIRGIN?

-I'M NOT A VIRGIN.

-YOU! GET BACK IN THERE!

-DUDE, YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT YOU IN THIS POSITION

IN THE FIRST PLACE.

-JUST -- WE'RE SORRY.

-YOU KNOW WHAT?

I HAD A MARRIAGE LIKE THIS --

ABUSE, APOLOGY, ABUSE, APOLOGY.

NO FUCKING WAY!

NO FUCKING MAN IS EVER GONNA ABUSE ME AGAIN!

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU TURN THIS SHIT OFF, AND DON'T YOU DARE USE IT!

-JUST LET ME HANDLE THIS.

[ SIGHS ]

ASH.

YOU JUST -- JUST GO AWAY, OKAY?

I HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG THIS IS GONNA TAKE.

-YOU SAID NEVER STOP ROLLING.

-SH...

SHE'S REALLY UPSET, ALL RIGHT?

[ CAMERA CLICKS ]

ASH.

COME ON. LET ME IN.

-I'M NOT A VIRGIN.

-WE BELIEVE YOU.

-I CAN GO AGAIN.

-IT'S NOT -- IT'S NOT UP TO YOU NOW.

-IS HE GONNA TALK TO HER?

-HE'S TRYING.

-I WANT TO FUCK HER.

-[ CHORTLES ]

NO, I THINK THE LUCKY BASTARD'S LUCK MIGHT HAVE RUN OUT.

-DON'T LAUGH AT ME!

-HEY, SETTLE DOWN THERE, BEAVIS.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

-I WANT TO FUCK HER!

-OKAY.

-COME ON! WHEN DO I GET TO FUCK HER?!

-[ Chuckling ] ALL RIGHT, CALM -- CALM DOWN, BUD.

THIS IS -- THIS IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THE FUNNIEST THING

WE'VE EVER SEEN IN THIS BUSINESS.

[ LAUGHING CONTINUES ]

-DON'T LAUGH AT ME!

-I CAN'T STOP. I CAN'T BREATHE!

-ASH, IT'S -- IT'S JUST ME.

C-COME ON. OPEN UP.

-[ SIGHS ]

[ SNIFFLES ]

-ASHLEY, YOU BEEN CRYING?

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

I'M SORRY.

-I TOLD YOU NO AMATEURS, BUT YOU DIDN'T LISTEN.

I JUST -- I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME.

-'CAUSE YOU'RE A REALLY TOUGH CUSTOMER,

AND I JUST FIGURED YOU'D GET OVER IT.

-NO, I AM A GROWN WOMAN, AND I SHOULD HAVE SAID NO.

[ SNIFFLES ]

I'M SORRY I FUCKED UP YOUR SHOOT.

-THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

YOU WANT ME TO SEND THE KID HOME?

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

-I HAD A STALKER ONCE.

WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE.

AND THIS GUY -- THIS GUY HAS "STALKER" WRITTEN ALL OVER HIM.

-HE IS NOT A STALKER.

EVEN YOU SAID HE LOOKS LIKE A NICE GUY.

THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS IS.

-[ SNIFFLING ]

JUST SEND HIM HOME, OKAY?

I'LL GIVE YOU BACK YOUR MONEY.

-YOU DON'T -- YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

-[ SNIFFLES ]

-I'M SORRY.

-IT'S OKAY.

JUST LET ME KNOW WHEN HE'S GONE.

-OKAY.

I'M SORRY, HONEY, REALLY.

-THANK YOU.

-WELL, MY, UH -- MY FRIENDLY MASTURBATORS AT HOME,

IT LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE LEFT YOU WITH BLUE BALLS.

OH, YOU'RE OUT HALF AN HOUR,

AND...I'M OUT THREE GRAND.

-THERE'S NO WAY WE CAN SALVAGE THIS?

-NO. THERE'S...

CASEY.

HI.

THERE'S A CHANGE OF PLANS, OKAY?

-MM-HMM.

-I NEED YOU TO FUCK THE LUCKY BASTARD FOR ME.

I'M GONNA PAY YOU 500 BUCKS.

THAT'S FOR ORAL AND STRAIGHT SEX.

-WHAT HAPPENED TO ASHLEY?

-LET'S JUST SAY THAT THERE WAS A CHEMISTRY PROBLEM.

-SO [CHUCKLES]

SO, I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO RUN THE CAMERA,

BUT NOW THAT YOU NEED A VAGINA...

-WHAT? NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

HEY, HEY, HEY, YOU WANT --

YOU WANTED TO BE IN THE -- -FUCK.

-YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO BE IN THE ADULT INDUSTRY.

THIS IS WHAT IT IS. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

KRIS, YOU WANT TO TALK TO HIM?

ALL RIGHT, LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE MAD --

I KNOW YOU'RE MAD AT ME.

-OH, REALLY? -I WAS RUDE.

-RUDE? WELL, THAT JUST FUCKING STARTS IT.

-WELL, YEAH.

-IT'S JUST A BUSINESS, CASEY. ASH DOESN'T WANT TO DO IT.

-I'M NOT HIS FUCKING WHORE!

-WHOA! WHOA. HEY, HEY.

WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

-I THOUGHT YOU WERE GROOMING ME TO BE A STAR.

-Yeah.

-MAYBE I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT ME.

-I DO CARE ABOUT YOU, AND YOU ARE A STAR,

AND THIS IS YOUR SHOT.

-FUCKING THAT CREEP?

-YEAH.

-FUCK YOU!

AND FUCK YOU, TOO!

-CASEY, COME ON, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

-I'M CALLING MY FRIEND!

-NO, YOU'RE NOT. OH, COME ON. COME ON BACK HERE.

-YES, I FUCKING AM.

-FUCK.

-THIS IS WHY I TOLD YOU NOT TO DATE THE TALENT.

-YOU KNOW, KRIS, YOU'RE A -- YOU'RE A GOOD CAMERAMAN,

AND YOU'RE A REALLY GREAT GUY, BUT YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER.

-SORRY, DUDE.

-NO, I JUST NEED A RIDE OUT OF HERE.

FUCKIN'-A!

-YOU'RE SMART TO STAY MARRIED.

I CAN'T USE ANY OF THIS.

THIS MAKES ME LOOK BAD.

FUCK.

CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?

-WHAT?

-CAN I TALK TO YOU? LOOK -- LOOK, I-I KNOW.

-WHAT? DID YOU WANT ME TO FUCK SOMEBODY ELSE?

GET THE FUCK OFF ME!

-AW, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!

-WHAT THE FUCK?! FUCK YOU!

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!

FUCK OFF!

[ DOG BARKING ]

-ASH!

ASH.

COME ON, ONE LAST STAB, OKAY?

SO, IF I HIRE A PRO, WILL YOU DO A SCENE FOR ME?

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WITH WHO?

-I-I DON'T KNOW. ONE OF THE GUYS YOU LIKE, LIKE DEVIN?

JOSH?

-HOW DOES THAT FIT IN TO THIS "LUCKY BASTARD"?

-LOOK, WE JUST GO WITH WHAT WE HAVE.

LUCKY BASTARD HAD HIS CHANCE, AND HE BLEW IT,

SO WE HAD TO HIRE A PRO

BECAUSE YOU WERE STILL UP FOR A GOOD FUCKING.

-THAT'S FINE.

[ SIGHS ]

[ DOOR OPENS ]

-DAVE, GET DRESSED. GET YOUR STUFF. YOU'RE DONE.

-WHERE'S ASHLEY? -SHE LEFT.

-WHAT ABOUT MY SCENE?

-YOU DID IT ALREADY.

-I DIDN'T GET TO FUCK HER.

-NO, YOU COULDN'T FUCK HER.

-WHAT DID ASHLEY SAY?

-IT'S NOT HER DECISION. IT'S MINE.

-WELL, I WANT TO TALK TO HER.

-YOU'RE NOT GONNA TALK TO HER.

-THIS IS BULLSHIT!

-BRO, IT'S OVER.

GET DRESSED.

NICO WILL DRIVE YOU TO THE STATION.

-I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.

-I KNOW. I KNOW.

IT'S, UH, IT'S A NO-BLAME SEVERANCE, MAN.

BUT YOU GOT TO GO.

-AND ANOTHER THING IS I NEED EXTENDED-LIFE BATTERIES,

'CAUSE I SPENT HALF THE DAY REPLACING BATTERIES,

AND I HAVE AN EXTENDED-LIFE BATTERY --

-WHAT THE FUCK? -THERE HE IS.

-I'M TAKING THE FILM. -HEY.

-THE FUCK YOU ARE! -NO, NO, NO, NO.

-YOU CAN'T USE THIS FOOTAGE IF I DIDN'T GET TO FUCK HER.

-NO! OH, NO! I PAID FOR IT. IT'S MINE. YOU SIGNED THE FORM.

-NO, IF YOU USE THIS FOOTAGE, I'M WARNING YOU...

-WHAT?! YOU'LL WHAT?! YOU'RE GONNA SUE ME?

WHAT? WITH THE LAW FIRM OF LOSER, JACK OFF, AND ASSHOLE?

FUCK THIS! FUCK THIS GUY!

I'VE FUCKING HAD IT!

-MIKE, TAKE IT EASY.

-ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

THIS IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA, RIGHT FUCKING HERE!

EVERYONE THINKS THEY'RE ENTITLED TO ANY FUCKING THING THEY WANT!

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? I WASN'T ENTITLED TO SHIT!

MY DAD WAS A FUCKING GROCERY CLERK,

AND I BUILT THIS COMPANY WITH MY BARE FUCKING HANDS!

-ALL RIGHT! THEN -- THEN YOU GIVE ME SOME MONEY!

-OH! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING?!

GIVE YOU SOME FUCKING MONEY! YOU KNOW WHAT?

I WAS GONNA GIVE YOU A HUNDRED BUCKS AS A PITY FUCK,

AND NOW I'M NOT GONNA GIVE YOU SHIT!

FUCK YOU!

FUCK! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA DO?!

YOU'RE GONNA TAKE ALL OF US?! COME ON, BITCH! HUH?

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

-FUCK! FUCK.

-FUCKING BITCH.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

-[ SIGHS ]

AND, MIKE?

CAN WE CALL HIM A CAB? YOU GOT HIM ALL WOUND UP.

-DON'T BE A PUSSY.

-MY CAR'S FULL OF CRAP. THERE'S NO ROOM.

-TAKE MY CAR.

-COME ON, LET'S JUST GET HIM A CAB.

-YOU WANT TO GET HIM A CAB?

YOU PAY FOR IT.

-YOU WERE GONNA GIVE HIM A HUNDRED BUCKS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? -ARE YOU SERIOUS?

NICO, DO NOT FUCK WITH ME.

[ DOOR OPENS ]

-DUDE, YOU OKAY?

-NO.

-HE ASKED ME TO TAKE YOU TO THE STATION.

-IT'S NOT RIGHT.

-YOU KNOW I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS, RIGHT?

IT'S JUST A JOB.

-DOES HE YELL A LOT?

-I DON'T REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

ARE -- ARE WE COOL?

-YEAH.

-A GUY THAT...WHACKED?

I'VE NEVER HAD ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN MY WHOLE CAREER!

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

-YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?

I THINK HE WAS SUBCONSCIOUSLY WORRIED

ABOUT SHOOTING HIS NUT TOO EARLY, RIGHT?

SO THEN HE SABOTAGES THE WHOLE THING.

SO THEN IF HE SABOTAGES THE WHOLE THING,

NOBODY NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT HIS DICK PROBLEM.

AND ANOTHER THING -- [SCOFFS]

I DON'T THINK HE EVER WENT TO THE ARMY.

I THINK THAT'S BULLSHIT.

I ASKED HIM WHERE HE'S STATIONED, RIGHT?

HE SAYS, "84th AIRBORNE, AL ASAD." NO.

-WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

-UH, THERE HASN'T BEEN 84th AIRBORNE

SINCE BEFORE I WAS BORN.

-"WELL, THERE HASN'T BEEN AN 84th AIRBORNE

SINCE BEFORE I WAS BORN."

JESUS. YOU KNOW, YOU'RE SMART.

IT'S LIKE YOU WENT TO COLLEGE OR SOMETHING.

-YOU KNOW WHAT? I DID GO TO COLLEGE, OKAY?

AND YOU KNOW THAT I WENT TO COLLEGE.

-I'M SORRY.

-NO, YOU'RE NOT SORRY, MIKE.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

IT'S LIKE YOU CAN'T HELP YOURSELF.

YOU CONSTANTLY PUSH PEOPLE TOO FAR.

-I KNOW. I...

I REALLY AM SORRY, BUDDY.

YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS 14,

I COULD JERK OFF LIKE 5 TIMES AN HOUR.

-AND ALL YOU HAD

WAS OLD BLACK-AND-WHITE PHOTOS, SKETCHES.

-[ Laughing ] I HAD VIDEOS, MAN.

I KEPT THEM IN THE BOTTOM OF MY CLOSET

AND PUT FAKE LABELS ON THEM SO MY MOTHER WOULDN'T KNOW.

-YOU'RE SMART.

-THANK GOD.

ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING.

[ DOOR ALARM BEEPING ]

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

-IS THAT CAMERA ON?

-I DON'T KNOW.

-I THINK IT'S ON.

-YEAH, GUESS IT IS.

-TURN IT OFF.

-UH, LET'S JUST -- LET'S JUST LEAVE IT, OKAY?

-FINE. I'LL TURN IT OFF.

-NO. NO, NO.

I'LL DO IT.

-IT'S STILL ON.

-NO, IT'S NOT.

OKAY, DUDE, WE'RE LIKE 15 MINUTES AWAY FROM THE STATION.

LET'S JUST PLEASE GET THERE.

-I'M TIRED OF BEING FILMED.

-LOOK, I'D FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE IF IT WERE ON.

-WHY?

-I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

-YOU THINK I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING?

-I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS, OKAY?

MY BOSS, YEAH, HE'S A DICK, BUT THIS IS JUST A JOB.

IT PAYS THE BILLS.

BUT FUCK IT. LET'S JUST GET TO THE STATION.

-PULL OVER. I GOT TO PISS.

-WE'RE 10 MINUTES AWAY.

-LET ME GO IN THE BUSHES. COME ON. PULL OVER.

OKAY, I'LL PISS IN YOUR BOSS' CAR.

-ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT.

[ DOOR ALARM BEEPING ]

[ CAR DOOR CLOSES ]

[ KNOCK ON GLASS ]

WHAT?

[ GROANS ]

-[ GRUNTING ]

[ WINDSHIELD WIPERS CLICKING ]

[ WINDSHIELD WIPERS SLOW ]

BRET, THIS IS MIKE AT "LUCKY BASTARD."

UM, I-I HAD KIND OF AN EMERGENCY,

AND I NEED A SKILLED WOODSMAN LIKE NOW

FOR A SCENE WITH ASHLEY SAINT.

IF YOU'RE AVAILABLE, PLEASE CALL ME RIGHT AWAY.

THANKS, DUDE.

-I THINK BRET'S OUT OF TOWN.

HE'S LIKE IN DALLAS OR SOMEWHERE, VISITING HIS FOLKS.

-MAYBE NICO CAN FUCK HER.

[ PHONE RINGS ]

UH, BRET?

JOSH! WHAT'S UP, DUDE?

LISTEN, UM, PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE AVAILABLE.

YOU ARE. SWEET.

UM, LOOK, WE'RE AT THE GORDON HOUSE.

HOW SOON CAN YOU GET HERE?

[ SCOFFS ] OH, UH, WE HAD THIS AMATEUR FLAMEOUT.

DUDE, I WILL TELL YOU THE WHOLE STORY.

IT'S CRAZY. JUST...

THANKS.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

-IS HE HERE?

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

I'M COMING! HOLD ON!

JOSH. DUDE, I AM SO GLAD TO SEE YOU.

-YEAH, YOU ARE PAYING ME MY REGULAR FEES?

-NO, I EXPECT YOU TO GET LAID FOR NOTHING.

COME ON. -ALL RIGHT.

-ASHLEY?

LOOK WHO'S HERE.

-HEY, BEAUTIFUL.

-HEY, BABE.

-WHAT'S UP?

-YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW.

-NO. SERIOUSLY. NOW, ARE YOU READY TO GO?

-I'M ALWAYS READY.

-YOU'RE SUCH A HAM. [ Chuckling ] SERIOUSLY.

-[ Chuckling ] IT'S -- COME ON.

DO THAT AGAIN RIGHT DOWN THE PIPE.

-I'M ALWAYS READY.

-[ LAUGHS ]

-[ MOANING ]

OH, YEAH!

[ MOANING ]

-HI, SUZANNE.

-I'M SORRY.

I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WOULD BE DONE BY NOW.

I'M JUST GONNA WAIT FOR MIKE OUTSIDE.

WH-- WHERE'S MIKE?

-AT THE MONITORS.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

AWKWARD. [ LAUGHS ]

ALL RIGHT, GET BACK TO WORK, JOSH.

-[ COUGHS ] SORRY ABOUT THAT HACK.

-OH, THAT'S NICE. THAT'S NICE.

-I KNOW, THAT'S SEXY. LET ME HACK UP A LUNG.

-MIKE.

-I-I KNOW. WE'RE GOING OVER.

CAN -- CAN WE PRORATE?

-I-I NEED TO LOCK UP BY 7:00.

-CAN WE MAKE IT 7:30?

OH, NICO. WHERE ARE YOU?

ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE.

-H-HIS CAR'S OUTSIDE.

-NO, I GAVE HIM MINE TO DRIVE THAT LOSER TO THE BUS STATION.

-I THOUGHT YOUR CAR WAS DOWN AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL.

-MY CAR? OH, FUCK.

HE'S BROODING SOMEWHERE.

LISTEN, CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR? CAN YOU, UH...

FIND HIM AND TELL HIM I'M SORRY?

-MIKE. 7:30.

-I'LL BE DONE. I SWEAR.

[ DOG BARKING ]

-NICO?

NICO!

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

-[ MOANING ]

[ MOANING ]

-NICO!

-Fuck.

-[ MOANING ]

-NICO!

-[ MOANING ]

MM! AHH!

[ BAT CRACKS ]

[ MOANING ]

OH! OH, YEAH!

[ MOANING ]

-WHAT?! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

-I WANT THE FILM.

-WHAT? -GIVE ME THE FILM.

-WHAT, WHAT? WHAT FILM? WE DON'T SHOOT ON FILM.

I-IT GOES ONTO A COMPUTER. IT'S ON A HARD DRIVE.

-OKAY, THEN I'M TAKING THEM.

-IS THAT MY BAT? THAT'S MY SOFTBALL BAT.

JESUS CHRIST. WH--WH--WHERE'S NI--

-GIVE ME THE HARD DRIVE.

-BRO, LISTEN TO ME.

-I'M NOT YOUR BRO.

MY BRO KILLED HIMSELF.

-I THOUGHT HE DIED OF CANCER?

DUDE -- D-DAVE. E-ERNEST.

L-L-LET'S TALK THIS THROUGH, OKAY?

LET ME GO GET KRIS.

-NO, NO, YOU KEEP THEM FILMING.

YOU KEEP THEM FILMING, OR I'LL HIT ASHLEY.

-OKAY! WE'LL WORK THIS OUT MAN TO MAN. ALL RIGHT.

-DO YOU WANT TO FIND OUT HOW MUCH THIS HURTS?

-[ YELLS ]

-JUST GET THE DRIVES.

-OKAY, LOOK, THEY'RE RIGHT -- THEY'RE RIGHT OVER HERE.

LET ME JUST GET THEM FOR YOU, OKAY?

-DON'T OPEN THAT!

GIVE -- GIVE IT HERE.

ALL RIGHT. OPEN IT -- SLOW!

SLOW. SHOW THEM TO ME.

-LISTEN, BRO, I GOT -- I GOT KIDS,

AND IF YOU HIT ME IN THE HEAD WITH THAT,

YOU'RE -- YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME, OKAY?

LIKE ONE SWING, AND YOU'RE A MURDERER.

PLEASE THINK.

-GIVE ME THE FUCKING DRIVES!

-OW!

[ Crying ] FUCK!

-DID YOU HEAR THAT?

-YEAH. MIKE LOSING HIS TEMPER. HOW ORIGINAL.

OKAY, CAN YOU CUM ALREADY?

-HEY, I ALREADY CAME TWICE TODAY.

-OH! YES!

-YOU WANT TO LIVE, MOTHERFUCKER? BE NICE.

I'M GONNA TIE YOUR FEET,

AND IF YOU MOVE, I'LL BLOW YOUR NUTS OFF.

[ TAPE CRACKLING ]

OKAY.

YOU CAN GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES, OR I CAN JUST PUSH YOU DOWN.

YOUR CHOICE.

-[ GROANING ]

NO! [ GRUNTS ]

-[ CHUCKLES ] YOU LOOK LIKE A FISH.

[ GROANING ]

[ DOORKNOB CLATTERING ]

-KRIS, WHAT THE FUCK?

-SORRY, JUST HAD TO PUT IN A NEW BATTERY. RELAX.

-WELL, I GOT TO BE OUT OF HERE BY 8:00.

THE SITTER'S GONNA LEAVE THE KIDS.

-OKAY. AND GO FOR IT.

-MM. YEAH.

-YEAH.

-YEAH. UH-HUH.

[ MOANING ]

-YEAH.

I'M ABOUT TO GO.

PLEASE -- PLEASE DON'T LOOK SO BORED.

-I-I THOUGHT YOU WENT HOME.

-I WANTED TO STAY AND WATCH.

-WHOA! WHOA! -WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

-HEY, LEAVE IT OP-- BRING IT BACK UP.

LEAVE IT ON.

-DAVE, BE COOL, MAN.

-I'M NOT GONNA KILL ANYBODY.

I'M NOT GONNA KILL ANYBODY.

I JUST WANT THE FILM -- THE DRIVES, THE DRIVE.

YOU KEEP FILMING.

I WANT THAT CAMERA IN YOUR HAND SO YOU CAN'T TRY ANYTHING.

-JOSH, DON'T MOVE.

-YEAH, JOSH. DON'T MOVE.

I WANT THE DRIVES!

-I-I CAN HOLD THE CAMERA, OR I CAN GET THE DRIVES.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

-OKAY, OKAY.

THERE'S A BAG OF ROPE IN THE GARAGE.

I SAW IT. AND YOU GO GET IT.

AND IF YOU'RE NOT BACK HERE IN 30 SECONDS,

I'LL BLOW THEIR FUCKING BRAINS OUT!

-HEY, I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO IT THAT FAST.

-IF I THINK YOU'RE USING THE PHONE, I'LL SHOOT THEM.

-I WON'T.

-ASH, JUST DO WHAT HE SAYS.

-GO!

-OKAY. JESUS.

-BACK UP! BACK UP!

SIT DOWN.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

[ DOOR ALARM BEEPING ]

PUT A ROBE ON. GIVE ME THAT.

NOW YOU TIE HER --

PUT THE GODDAMN CAMERA DOWN AND TIE HER UP!

AND THEN YOU TIE HIM UP,

AND THEN YOU AND ME HAVE SOME BUSINESS TO DO.

-WHERE'S MIKE?

-BUSY.

-IS HE DEAD?

-I DON'T KNOW.

-DUDE, IF YOU HURT HIM,

WE GOT TO CALL AN AMBULANCE, MAN.

THIS IS THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, OKAY?

THEY'RE GONNA CATCH YOU. YOU'RE GONNA BE IN PRISON.

PUT THE GUN DOWN.

-I WANT THE DRIVES.

NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO ANYMORE.

-OKAY.

I'M GONNA GET A SCREWDRIVER. IS THAT ALL RIGHT?

LOOK, IF I TELL YOU SOMETHING, YOU CAN'T FREAK OUT.

-WHAT?

-THE FOOTAGE ISN'T JUST HERE.

WE'VE BEEN SENDING IT BACK TO THE OFFICE BY WI-FI.

-THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT.

-YOU GOT TO TURN YOURSELF IN!

AND IF MIKE'S HURT, WE GOT TO CALL AN AMBULANCE!

-NO, NO. YOU'RE FUCKING LYING!

-IT'S TRUE! -YOU THINK I'M STUPID?!

MY MOM HAS WI-FI. IT SUCKS!

THERE'S NO WAY THEY'RE SENDING ALL THIS ANYWHERE!

I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU.

-OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, I'LL DESTROY THE FOOTAGE, AND YOU CAN RUN.

-STOP TALKING.

-YOU'RE NOT A KILLER.

-MIKE PULLED THE GUN ON ME.

HOW DO YOU KNOW I DIDN'T... HIT HIM IN SELF-DEFENSE?

-YOU'D NEVER KILL ANYBODY ON PURPOSE.

Y-YOU'RE NOT A MURDERER.

-OH, YEAH.

YEAH, YOU THINK I'M A FUCKING PUSSY.

YEAH, YOU THINK I'M A FUCKING FAGGOT!

-NOBODY THINKS YOU'RE A FAGGOT.

-YEAH? YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT I'M MADE OF?

[ GUNSHOT ]

HEY, HEY!

DON'T MOVE.

I'M NOT GONNA KILL YOU.

I JUST WANT THE DRIVES.

-ALL RIGHT.

-BACK INSIDE.

-[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

-INSIDE!

[ GUNSHOT, SHELL CASING CLATTERS ]

[ DOOR OPENS ]

-MAN, YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. YOU COULD JUST --

-SHUT UP.

-MY BMW IS IN THE DRIVEWAY. TAKE IT.

-I WILL.

-KEYS ARE UNDER THE SEAT.

-DAVE, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

-I'M GONNA BE THE LUCKY BASTARD.

-PEOPLE WILL HEAR THE GUNSHOTS, MAN.

-NOBODY CARES!

THEY PROBABLY THINK WE'RE JUST FILMING A MOVIE.

-I HAVE TWO KIDS.

THEIR NAMES ARE JORDAN AND REBECCA, AND I --

-I REMEMBER THEIR NAMES, ASHLEY.

[ SMOOCHES, CHUCKLES ]

-OH, MY GOD.

PLEASE DON'T KILL ME. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME.

PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!

WAIT! LISTEN! I-I GOT CASH!

I CAN GET YOU CASH! -STOP LYING!

-YOU CAN ESCAPE! I'LL HELP YOU!

WE CAN GO TO MEXICO!

-HOW?

-WE'LL DRIVE THERE.

WE'LL BE THERE IN A COUPLE OF HOURS.

-I DON'T HAVE A PASSPORT. -YOU DON'T NEED ONE.

THEY DON'T CHECK ON THE WAY IN.

-YOU'RE LYING.

-OH, NO. NO.

OKAY, I DON'T KNOW IF THEY DO. I'LL HIDE YOU IN MY TRUNK.

I SWEAR TO GOD!

I SWEAR ON MY LIFE THEY DON'T CHECK TRUNKS ON THE WAY IN!

-WHAT WOULD I DO IN MEXICO?

I SAID WHAT WOULD I DO IN MEXICO!

-I DON'T KNOW!

EAT MEXICAN FOOD! PLEASE BE CAREFUL! PLEASE!

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

-I'M GONNA WATCH THE MONITORS.

AND I CAN BE BACK FASTER THAN YOU CAN GET UNTIED.

DON'T TRY IT!

-[ CRYING ]

-JOSH, GET YOURSELF TOGETHER.

-[ GROANING ]

-THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT.

CAREFUL.

CAREFUL.

YOU DON'T WANT TO FALL OVER.

YOU MIGHT GET HURT.

WHAT WAS THAT YOU SAID?

"WE'RE NOT LAUGHING AT YOU --

WE'RE LAUGHING WITH YOU"?

OKAY.

OKAY. I'M LAUGHING WITH YOU.

-[ SCREAMING ]

-OH, FUCK.

I'M SORRY, MAN.

FORGOT THE VASELINE.

WHAT DID YOU SAY IN THE PARKING LOT, HMM?

I HEARD YOU.

I'M "A FUCKING NIGHTMARE."

WELL, YOU'RE RIGHT.

-[ GRUNTING ]

[ SCREAMING ]

[ CRYING ]

-YOU WERE GONNA GIVE ME A HUNDRED DOLLARS...

OUT OF PITY.

THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID.

-[ Sobbing ] I MEANT...

WHATEVER YOU WANT.

ANYTHING.

-"THIS IS FUCKING GOLDEN."

-WHAT?

-THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID.

I WAS GOLDEN WHEN I APOLOGIZED TO ASHLEY.

-'CAUSE IF YOU --

-NOW YOU APOLOGIZE TO ME.

-IF YOU WANT MONEY...

[ GAGGING ]

...TAKE ME TO A CASH MACHINE.

-I APOLOGIZED.

NOW YOUR TURN.

-I'M S...

I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY...

FOR HOW IT TURNED OUT.

I'M SORRY FOR WHAT I SAID.

[ Sobbing ] I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY.

-I REMEMBER SOMETHING MY FATHER ALWAYS SAID...

"WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING WRONG,

SORRY..."

-AAH!

-..."IS NEVER ENOUGH."

-[ CRYING ]

[ GUNSHOT, SHELL CASINGS CLATTER ]

-PLEASE, MAN! PLEASE DON'T! PLEASE!

[ CRYING ]

PLEASE, MAN! DON'T!

DON'T, MAN.

-HOW MANY GIRLS YOU FUCKED?

-I DON'T KNOW. HUNDREDS.

-IS IT FUN?

-SOMETIMES.

-HOW MUCH DO THEY PAY YOU?

-TODAY, UM, FOUR.

-$4,000?

-$400.

-WHAT DO THEY USUALLY PAY?

-UM, AROUND THAT MUCH.

IT DEPENDS. THE GIRLS MAKE MORE.

-WHY'D YOU GO INTO PORN?

-UH, I DON'T KNOW.

I WAS AN UNEMPLOYED ACTOR, AND I WATCHED A LOT OF PORN.

D-DO YOU WANT TO GET INTO PORN?

-I HEAR YOU GUYS ARE FAGS.

-WHAT? NO.

-YOU'LL FUCK DUDES IF THEY PAY YOU ENOUGH.

-I DON'T.

-YOU EVER FUCK A DUDE?

-NO.

I-I KNOW GUYS WHO HAVE, BUT I DON'T.

IT'S N-NOTHING PERSONAL.

-PERSONAL?

WHAT THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY PERSONAL?

-WHAT? NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

-YOU THINK I'M A FAG?! -NO! NO!

I SWEAR TO GOD THAT'S THE LAST THING ON MY MIND RIGHT NOW!

-HOW MUCH WOULD THEY HAVE TO PAY YOU TO FUCK A GUY?

-I DON'T KNOW.

-A THOUSAND?

-SURE. -[ Laughing ] REALLY?

-YEAH. WHATEVER.

-$500?

-I JUST DON'T WANT TO GET INTO AN ARGUMENT RIGHT NOW.

-YOU COULD GET IT UP FOR A GUY?

-YEAH.

-REALLY?

-YEAH.

-HOW?

-YOU JUST -- YOU PRETEND IT'S A GIRL.

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO IT IS. YOU...

ALWAYS JUST THINK ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAY.

-REALLY?

-YEAH. YOU ALWAYS HAVE SEX IN YOUR HEAD.

-HOW?

-OKAY. UM...A LOT OF THESE GIRLS I WORK WITH

ARE JUST FUCKING CRAZY DRUG ADDICTS, OKAY?

YOU'RE -- YOU'RE OUT IN 40-DEGREE WEATHER

WITH SOME CHICK YOU CAN'T STAND

AND FOUR OTHER DUDES WITH THEIR COCKS IN YOUR FACE,

AND YOU JUST -- YOU JUST TUNE IT OUT

AND YOU DO IT IN YOUR HEAD.

-YOU COULD CUM RIGHT NOW?

-I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S NOT EVEN MY ADVICE.

IT WAS SOME GUY I KNEW WHEN I FIRST STARTED.

HE -- HE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS.

-DO IT RIGHT NOW. JERK OFF.

-DUDE, I JUST POPPED LIKE RIGHT BEFORE I GOT HERE.

-IF YOU CAN CUM, I'LL LET YOU LIVE.

-OKAY, LET ME TRY.

-GO FOR IT.

-I'M TIED UP. I NEED MY HANDS.

-DO IT IN YOUR HEAD.

-I GOT TO STROKE IT, DUDE.

I-I WOULDN'T LIE TO YOU. JUST GIVE ME ONE HAND.

[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]

I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THIS.

OH, YEAH.

I GOT IT.

YEAH.

[ MOANS ]

YEAH.

-JOSH! JOSH!

-NO! I DID WHAT YOU SAID! PLEASE DON'T SHOOT ME!

I JUST DID WHAT YOU SAID!

-[ GASPING LIGHTLY ]

[ BREATHING RAGGEDLY ]

-YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

-[ SPITS ]

FUCKING SICK!

-THEY MADE ME DO THIS.

-NOBODY MADE YOU DO ANYTHING.

-THEY MADE ME THE LUCKY BASTARD, AND THEN THEY TOOK IT AWAY!

-YEAH, WELL, IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT!

-NO! IT'S YOUR FAULT!

YOU WOULDN'T DO THE SCENE WITH ME.

-'CAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING CRAZY.

[ PANTING ]

GEE, WHAT WAS I THINKING?

-YOU'LL DO THE SCENE NOW, WON'T YOU?

-YEAH. YES.

-NO.

YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE. YOU BLEW IT.

I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH IT, AND YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN!

-I'M SORRY.

-YOU DON'T RESPECT ME.

YOU JUST RESPECT THE GUN.

-OKAY.

TOSS IT AWAY, THEN.

-THE GUN DIDN'T DO THIS.

I DID THIS.

THEY DIDN'T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY.

THEY MADE FUN OF ME...

HUMILIATED ME.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

SHIT.

-THE REAL-ESTATE AGENT.

-IT'S NOT HER.

-[ GASPS LIGHTLY ]

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

-MIKE? KRIS?

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

HEY. WHAT'S UP?

WELL, WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

-THEY ALL WENT OUT TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT.

I WASN'T HUNGRY.

-OH.

WELL, YOU GUYS GOT TO BE OUT OF HERE IN A HALF AN HOUR.

I MEAN, MIKE DOESN'T LIKE PAYING FOR...

-DOESN'T LIKE PAYING FOR WHAT?

-THE HOUSE WHEN NOBODY'S USING IT.

WHEN THEY COME BACK, TELL THEM THAT I STOPPED BY.

I'LL SEE YOU. -CASEY?

-I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS.

-I WISH YOU HADN'T COME BACK.

-I TOLD MIKE NOT TO TREAT YOU LIKE SHIT.

-YEAH, I KNOW YOU DID.

-WHATEVER'S HAPPENING HERE,

[ Voice breaking ] I'M JUST GONNA GO AND PRETEND IT'S NOT.

-CASEY, DON'T!

[ GUNSHOT ]

[ DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE ]

-[ BREATHING RAPIDLY ]

-I BET YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS A GUNSHOT.

-WELL, IT WASN'T A CAR BACKFIRING.

-IT COULD HAVE BEEN.

-I'M NOT STUPID.

-THEN WHY ARE YOU A PORN STAR?

-WELL, WE CAN START WITH FOOD AND RENT

AND SCHOOL CLOTHES FOR MY KIDS.

-I USED TO JERK OFF TO YOU.

I SAW THE ONE WHERE THE GUYS DID THE BUKKAKE ON YOUR FACE.

-IT'S JUST A JOB.

-YOU DIDN'T MIND WHEN FIVE GUYS JERKED OFF ALL OVER YOUR FACE?

-NO.

-'CAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING WHORE.

-IT'S JUST SEX, DAVE.

I LIKE SEX, AND I LIKE MONEY.

-WHAT IF I JERKED OFF ON YOUR FACE?

-AS LONG AS YOU DON'T GET IT IN MY EYES.

-[ CHUCKLES ]

THAT'S A RULE?

-MM-HMM.

-WHAT OTHER RULES DO YOU HAVE?

-NO ANAL AND NO D.P.

-NO AMATEURS?

-BROKE THAT RULE.

NOW LOOK AT ME. -[ SCOFFS ]

WHAT ARE YOUR KIDS GONNA THINK WHEN THEY FIND OUT WHAT YOU DID?

-[ Voice breaking ] THEY'LL THINK

THAT THEY HAD A MOTHER WHO LOVED THEM.

[ GASPING ]

YOU WANT TO FUCK ME?

-I'M NOT A RAPIST.

-IT'S NOT RAPE IF I LET YOU.

YOU WANT TO DO THE SCENE, RIGHT?

THAT'S WHY YOU LEFT ALL THESE CAMERAS ON.

-GOD, YOU'RE SO FUCKING HOT.

YEAH.

-MY PUSSY'S SO CLOSE TO YOU.

-[ MOANS ]

-ARE YOU GETTING HARD?

ARE YOU GETTING HARD?

-OH, YEAH.

-YEAH?

-YEAH.

-DO YOU WANT TO STICK YOUR HARD COCK

IN MY TIGHT, LITTLE PUSSY?

-[ MOANS ]

-YEAH. -YEAH.

YEAH.

-THEN DO IT.

-ARE YOU TRYING TO TRICK ME INTO UNTYING YOU?

-YOU KEEP ME TIED UP, THEN IT'S RAPE.

LET ME FINISH THIS SCENE THE RIGHT WAY.

COME ON, BABY.

I JUST -- I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME.

-[ MOANS ]

-LET'S DO IT.

UNTIE ME.

I MEAN, IF YOU ARE GONNA KILL ME,

AT LEAST FUCK ME FIRST.

THERE YOU GO.

-[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

-[ SHUDDERS ]

[ BOTH MOANING ]

-OH. IS IT IN?

-YEAH, CAN'T YOU FEEL IT?

-OH, GOD! YEAH!

-YEAH!

[ MOANING CONTINUES ]

-FUCK.

[ MOANING CONTINUES ]

IT'S ALL MESSY.

-AW, IT'S SEX. [ GIGGLES ]

-YEAH.

-LET ME CLEAN YOU UP, OKAY?

-I CAN DO IT.

-NO, I-I LOVE YOUR COCK.

I JUST -- I JUST -- CAN I SEE IT?

YEAH?

-IT'S ALL SENSITIVE.

-I KNOW. -I JUST CAME.

-I'LL BE GENTLE. IT'S OKAY.

YEAH, THERE YOU GO.

OHH, YEAH.

LET ME SEE.

OH, YEAH.

OHH!

ASHLEY!

[ GUNSHOTS, SHELL CASINGS RATTLE ]

-[ PANTING ]

[ SCREAMS ]

[ BREATHING RAPIDLY ]

[ GASPS LIGHTLY ]

[ BACH'S "JESU, JOY OF MAN'S DESIRING" PLAYS ]