Original subtitles

Maja: BECAUSE MY HEALTH IS SO BAD NOW,

I NEVER KNOW WHEN MY BODY'S GONNA HIT ITS LIMIT,

AND IT'S ONLY GETTING WORSE.

♪♪

Woman: HE CAN'T STOP. HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW.

Woman #2: IT'S TERRIFYING TO THINK

THAT AT ANY MOMENT YOUR HEART CAN EXPLODE.

♪♪

♪♪

Woman: I DON'T WANT TO DIE.

I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO LIVE YET.

♪♪

WHY ARE YOU JUMPING ON MY CASE?

YOU'RE OVEREATING, AND YOU'RE YELLING LIKE IT IS OUR FAULT.

I KNOW THAT I'M DYING.

I KNOW THAT I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT.

♪♪

I [BLEEP] HATE YOU!

I [BLEEP] HATE YOU FOR DOING THIS TO ME, CHRISTIAN!

♪♪

♪♪

--Captions by VITAC-- www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Maja: WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING,

THE FIRST THING I DO IS I THANK GOD THAT MY BODY

DIDN'T GIVE OUT DURING THE NIGHT.

♪♪

BECAUSE MY HEALTH IS SO BAD NOW,

I NEVER KNOW WHEN MY BODY'S GONNA HIT ITS LIMIT.

♪♪

AND IT'S ONLY GETTING WORSE.

AND THERE ARE A LOT OF DAYS

WHERE I DON'T EVEN THINK I CAN PUSH MYSELF TO SHOWER.

BUT I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IT IS FOR ME TO KEEP MY BODY CLEAN,

BECAUSE AT MY SIZE, THERE'S A VERY HIGH RISK OF INFECTION

BECAUSE OF ALL OF MY FAT RUBBING AGAINST ITSELF.

♪♪

SO AS HARD AS IT IS TO DO THIS, I JUST HAVE TO.

♪♪

BUT I CAN ONLY STAND FOR AROUND 10 MINUTES

BEFORE IT GETS TO BE TOO MUCH FOR ME.

♪♪

IF I WERE TO SLIP AND FALL IN THE BATHTUB,

I COULD EASILY BREAK BONES,

AND THEN I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM.

♪♪

BY THE TIME I'M DONE,

IT'S LIKE I'VE DONE, YOU KNOW, A 20-, 25-MINUTE WORKOUT.

♪♪

I'M SO WIPED OUT AT THIS POINT THAT ONCE I GET MY UNDERWEAR ON,

I HAVE TO HAVE MY BOYFRIEND, CHRISTIAN,

WHO LIVES WITH ME, HELP ME WITH MY SOCKS AND PANTS.

♪♪

IT'S EMBARRASSING TO HAVE TO EVEN ASK.

♪♪

-CHRISTIAN. -YEAH?

WILL YOU PLEASE COME HELP ME?

♪♪

SORRY.

♪♪

THANKS, HONEY.

♪♪

SOON I'M GONNA GET SO BIG, I'M GONNA BE BEDRIDDEN,

AND I KNOW THE ONLY WAY TO PREVENT THAT

IS TO STOP EATING LIKE I DO.

BUT FOOD IS SOMETHING I CONSTANTLY CRAVE,

AND I'M ASHAMED ABOUT HOW MUCH I EAT.

WITH CHRISTIAN, HE DOESN'T KNOW WHEN I GO TO GET FOOD

BECAUSE I GET DRESSED TO GO OUT AND I TELL HIM IT'S FOR ERRANDS.

[ SIGHS ]

BUT IT'S A LIE, BECAUSE THE ONLY THING I'M GOING TO DO IS EAT.

-I'LL BE BACK SOON. -ALL RIGHT.

♪♪

FOOD FULFILLS ME IN A WAY I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE.

THERE'S NOTHING IN MY LIFE

THAT CAN EVEN COME CLOSE TO MATCHING IT.

♪♪

AND I'M WORRIED ABOUT WHAT CHRISTIAN WOULD THINK OF ME

IF HE KNEW HOW MUCH I ACTUALLY ATE.

SO I JUST TRY TO HIDE IT AND GO OUT ON MY OWN.

♪♪

♪♪

I'LL GO TO TWO, THREE, FOUR PLACES,

BUT THE FIRST MEAL IS ALWAYS THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE

BECAUSE I ALWAYS GET WHAT I'M CRAVING FIRST.

CAN I TWO SAUSAGE BURRITOS, A BACON-EGG-AND-CHEESE,

AND A SAUSAGE MUFFIN WITH EGG?

Woman: $9.31. First window. Thank you.

♪♪

THANK YOU.

♪♪

THERE'S NO WORDS FOR THAT FEELING

WHEN YOU TASTE SOMETHING YOU LOVE.

♪♪

IT'S INCREDIBLE.

♪♪

BUT IT FEELS LIKE THAT MEAL IS GONE IN A SECOND.

SO I MOVE ON TO THE NEXT THINGS I'M CRAVING.

♪♪

CAN I GET A BEEF-AND-CHEDDAR SANDWICH,

A JALAPEÑO ROAST-BEEF SLIDER, AND YOUR ULTIMATE BLT SANDWICH?

Woman: We will be happy to help you out at the window.

THANK YOU.

♪♪

-THANK YOU. -HAVE A GOOD ONE.

YOU TOO.

♪♪

MY LIFE COMPLETELY REVOLVES AROUND FOOD.

♪♪

WHEN I'M GOING TO GET IT, HOW I'M GOING TO GET IT,

HOW MUCH I'M GOING TO GET --

IT NEVER STOPS.

AND IT'S BEEN THAT WAY FOR SO LONG NOW,

BECAUSE FOOD HAS BEEN THE ONLY RELIABLE CONSTANT IN MY LIFE.

♪♪

I'VE NEVER KNOWN A LIFE OTHER BEING OVERWEIGHT,

AND THAT'S BECAUSE FOOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN

A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF MY LIFE.

MY PARENTS MOVED FROM SERBIA

WHEN MY MOM WAS PREGNANT WITH ME, AND I WAS BORN HERE.

BUT A BIG PART OF SERBIAN CULTURE IS FOOD.

IN OUR CULTURE, BASICALLY, TO SHOW LOVE

IS TO HAVE A LOT OF FOOD ON HAND,

AND IF A CHILD WANTED TO EAT,

YOU KNOW, YOU GAVE THEM A PIECE OF FOOD

OR A PIECE OF MEAT OR A PIECE OF SAUSAGE.

Maja: SO I ALWAYS HAD SOMETHING TO EAT,

AND MY FAVORITE TIMES WERE

WHEN WE HAD THESE LARGE FAMILY FEASTS WITH ALL MY RELATIVES.

♪♪

I LOVED THE FOOD AND BEING AROUND ALL MY FAMILY,

BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO SEE MANY OF THEM A LOT,

ESPECIALLY MY MOM.

MY MOM AND MY DAD GOT DIVORCED WHEN I WAS 2,

AND BECAUSE MY MOM HAD TO RAISE ME,

SHE STARTED HAVING TO WORK A LOT.

AND SHE WASN'T ABLE TO BE HOME MUCH,

SO I HAD TO STAY WITH EITHER MY GRANDPARENTS

OR MY AUNT MARGARET.

Ana: BEING A SINGLE MOM, I HAD TO GET TWO JOBS

IN ORDER TO SURVIVE.

THAT'S WHEN MY MOM AND MY WHOLE FAMILY, YOU KNOW,

JUMPED IN AND HELPED ME OUT WITH RAISING MAJA.

♪♪

Maja: SO IT WAS A LOT FOR MY MOM.

AND SHE WOULD BE DRAINED FROM WORKING TWO JOBS

AND NOT HAVING ENOUGH MONEY,

AND WHEN I WOULD GO SPEND TIME WITH HER,

IT WAS NEVER AS ENJOYABLE

AS IT WAS WITH MY AUNT AND MY GRANDPARENTS.

AND I WOULD TELL HER BEING WITH HER JUST WASN'T FUN AT ALL,

SO THERE STARTED BEING THIS RIFT IN OUR RELATIONSHIP,

AND SHE WAS ANGRY A LOT OF THE TIME WITH HER SITUATION.

I NEVER FELT TRULY LOVED BY MY MOM, AND THAT HURT.

IT HURT A LOT.

AND WHEN I ATE, I FORGOT ABOUT HOW I FELT WITH MY MOM,

SO I STARTED EATING A LOT.

AND BY THE TIME I WAS 5, I WAS ALREADY OVER 100 POUNDS.

BUT THAT WEIGHT GAIN

MADE MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY MOM EVEN WORSE,

BECAUSE SHE STARTED CRITICIZING ME A LOT,

AND SHE WOULD CALL ME NAMES AND SAY, "YOU'RE TOO FAT."

YOU KNOW, "YOU'RE TOO BIG. YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT."

AND THEN IT WAS LIKE PUNISHMENT TO ME.

SO ALL THAT JUST ENDED UP HAVING THE OPPOSITE EFFECT ON ME,

AND I KEPT EATING EVEN MORE.

AS LONG AS MAJA'S BEEN OVERWEIGHT, ANA'S ALWAYS LIKE,

"YOU'RE OVERWEIGHT. YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT.

YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT."

THE WAY SHE ENCOURAGED HER WASN'T HELPFUL.

IT JUST SHUT HER DOWN. IT JUST MADE HER MORE EMBARRASSED

AND MORE SELF-CONSCIOUS OF HERSELF.

Maja: UNFORTUNATELY, MY DAD WAS ALMOST AS BAD AS MY MOM

WHEN IT CAME TO HIS DISAPPOINTMENT ABOUT MY WEIGHT

AND MAKING THAT KNOWN.

♪♪

MY DAD REMARRIED,

AND THEY PROCEEDED TO HAVE TWO CHILDREN TOGETHER,

AND THEY WERE THE IDEAL FAMILY.

THEY ALL WERE THIN

AND BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT.

BUT THEY NEVER INCLUDED ME IN A SINGLE FAMILY PHOTO.

♪♪

SO I KNEW WHAT THAT MEANT -- MY FATHER WAS EMBARRASSED BY ME.

BUT I DIDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT FOR TOO LONG...

BECAUSE HE GOT SICK OF HAVING TO DRIVE THREE HOURS

TO PICK ME UP FOR MY WEEKENDS WITH HIM,

SO HE DECIDED HE WASN'T DOING IT ANYMORE.

SO MY FATHER STOPPED BEING A BIG PART OF MY LIFE THEN.

♪♪

BUT I JUST TOOK ALL THAT PAIN AND KEPT GOING TO FOOD

TO HELP ME FORGET IT.

AND WITH ALL THAT I WAS GAINING,

I ALMOST DOUBLED IN SIZE OVER THE NEXT FEW YEARS.

AND I WAS OVER 175 POUNDS BY THE TIME I WAS 8.

EVENTUALLY, WHEN I WAS 10, MY MOM GOT REMARRIED, TOO.

♪♪

AND MY STEPDAD, ZACH,

WOULD TRY TO MAKE THINGS A LITTLE BETTER AND INTERVENE.

♪♪

BUT HE COULDN'T HELP TAKE AWAY THE REJECTION

I STILL FELT FROM MY PARENTS.

FOOD WAS THE ONLY THING THAT EVEN REMOTELY

HELPED ME FEEL BETTER.

♪♪

SO I KEPT GETTING BIGGER, AND BY THE TIME I WAS 14

AND STARTED HIGH SCHOOL, I WAS APPROACHING 300.

♪♪

BUT WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL

IS WHEN THINGS GOT EVEN WORSE WITH MY MOTHER,

BECAUSE THE BIGGER I GOT, THE MORE SHE MADE ME FEEL LIKE

I WAS JUST THIS DISGUSTING THING THAT REPULSED HER.

SO I JUST KEPT EATING TO TRY AND BLOCK IT ALL OUT.

AND BY TIME I GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL,

I WAS OVER 400 AT THAT POINT,

BUT I WAS STILL ABLE TO STAY ACTIVE.

I MOVED OUT OF MY MOM'S HOUSE,

SO I HAD TO START PROVIDING FOR MYSELF AND GET A JOB.

BUT FOR THE NEXT FOUR TO FIVE YEARS,

I MOSTLY WORKED AT PLACES WHERE I WAS ALWAYS AROUND FOOD,

LIKE A FAST-FOOD PLACE.

SO I JUST KEPT EATING AND PUTTING ON WEIGHT

AND HIT 500 WHEN I WAS 24.

BUT I STILL MANAGED TO WORK AND PROVIDE FOR MYSELF,

AND I EVEN STARTED DATING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE.

I WAS IN MY FIRST RELATIONSHIP WITH A MAN,

AND WE FELL IN LOVE.

AND AFTER TWO YEARS, WE DECIDED

THAT WE WERE GOING TO GET MARRIED,

AND IT WAS THE HAPPIEST TIME OF MY LIFE.

BUT AS WE WERE PREPARING FOR THE WEDDING,

MY WEIGHT BECAME AN ISSUE IN A LOT OF WAYS.

FIRST, I WAS TOO BIG FOR A WEDDING DRESS,

BUT THEN I LEARNED THAT I WAS PROBABLY NEVER GONNA BE ABLE

TO HAVE KIDS AS LONG AS I WAS AS BIG AS I WAS.

WHEN THE DOCTORS TOLD ME THAT, IT WAS VERY DISHEARTENING

BECAUSE I COULDN'T HAVE THE FAMILY THAT I WANTED TO HAVE.

AFTER BEING ENGAGED FOR FOUR YEARS,

MY FIANCé DECIDED NOT HAVING KIDS WAS TOO MUCH,

AND HE MOVED ON.

SO MY RELATIONSHIP ENDED BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT.

AND IT DIDN'T HELP MUCH.

I WAS STILL GAINING AND GETTING EVEN BIGGER.

I WAS 29 THEN AND OVER 550 POUNDS,

SO MY HEALTH WAS WORSE THAN EVER.

THE ONLY GOOD THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME

AROUND THAT TIME IN MY LIFE

IS THAT MY MOM AND I STARTED TO GET A LITTLE CLOSER.

SHE HAD HAD A STROKE, AND, I THINK, FOR HER,

THAT HAD CHANGED HER PERSPECTIVE ON THINGS.

SO IT ENDED UP OPENING A DOOR FOR US TO FORM A RELATIONSHIP,

AND WE STILL SPENT TIME TOGETHER.

BUT OTHER THAN THAT, NOTHING ELSE

WAS GOING EVEN REMOTELY RIGHT FOR ME THEN,

BUT I STILL KEPT TRYING TO HAVE A NORMAL LIFE.

SO I TRIED TO GET BACK OUT THERE,

AND I GOT ON A DATING WEBSITE, AND THAT'S WHEN I MET CHRISTIAN,

WHO'S BEEN THE BEST RELATIONSHIP I'VE EVER HAD WITH ANYONE,

AND WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR ALMOST THREE YEARS NOW.

Christian: WHEN I MET MAJA, FIRST THING I NOTICED

IS THAT SHE'S VERY KIND, YOU KNOW, EASY TO TALK TO.

I DON'T JUDGE HER ON HER SIZE.

I JUDGE HER ON HER PERSONALITY AND MENTALITY.

Maja: SHORTLY AFTER WE STARTED DATING,

HE OFFERED FOR ME TO MOVE IN WITH HIM.

SO I DID, AND MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM HAS BEEN GREAT.

MY WEIGHT NEVER BOTHERED HIM.

HE SAYS IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL TO HIM,

BUT SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE IT IS.

SINCE I'VE BEEN WITH HIM,

MY HEALTH HAS JUST GOTTEN WORSE AND WORSE,

AND I FEEL AWFUL

BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE CHRISTIAN IMMEDIATELY

HAD TO BECOME A CARETAKER IN A NUMBER OF WAYS.

I JUST CAN'T DO A LOT. IT'S HARD.

HE REALLY WANTS CHILDREN, AND I CAN'T GIVE HIM CHILDREN

BECAUSE OF MY SIZE AND WEIGHT.

AT THIS POINT, I'M NOT SURE WHAT I WEIGH.

I HOPE I'M STILL IN THE LOWER 600s,

BUT I KNOW I'VE STILL BEEN GAINING

BECAUSE I'M STILL EATING WORSE THAN EVER.

SO I HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT,

AND IT'S THE ONLY WAY FOR CHRISTIAN AND I TO HAVE

ANY CHANCE AT A FUTURE TOGETHER.

MY DREAM FOR CHRISTIAN AND I IS FOR ME TO LOSE THIS WEIGHT

SO WE CAN HAVE CHILDREN

SO WE HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO PROVIDE A LIFE

THAT IS FULL OF LOVE

AND HAPPINESS AND TRUTH,

THAT THEY DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT --

NOT APPRECIATED AND LOVED FOR THEIR LITTLE BODIES.

♪♪

BUT I'M NOT EVEN LIVING AT THIS POINT.

I KNOW I'M GETTING TO MY BREAKING POINT

AND THAT CHRISTIAN IS, TOO.

♪♪

IT JUST SEEMS LIKE WE'RE FIGHTING A LOT MORE NOW LATELY,

AND I FEEL LIKE HE'S GETTING MORE AND MORE DISTANT

BECAUSE THERE'S NO INTIMACY IN OUR RELATIONSHIP,

AND THE THOUGHT OF LOSING HIM SCARES ME.

-HI. -HEY.

-HOW ARE YOU? -TIRED.

WANT TO TAKE A BREAK WITH ME ON THE COUCH?

YEAH.

♪♪

Christian: I WANT TO HAVE A FUTURE WITH MAJA.

I WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN, I WANT TO HAVE A FAMILY,

BUT IF THE WEIGHT GETS TOO MUCH AND SHE DIED IN HER SLEEP

OR HAD A STOKE OR A HEART ATTACK,

IT'D BE DEVASTATING TO ME.

♪♪

-YOU WANT TO EAT? -I GOT A SNACK ON MY WAY HOME.

MAYBE WE CAN GO GET ICE CREAM LATER.

ALL RIGHT.

Maja: WE KNOW I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING NOW

BEFORE IT GETS TO BE A VERY BAD PLACE FOR US.

SO CHRISTIAN DECIDED TO REACH OUT

TO DR. NOW IN HOUSTON FOR ME,

BECAUSE HE'S ONE OF THE ONLY DOCTORS

WILLING TO DO WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY ON PEOPLE MY SIZE.

DR. NOW MAY BE MY ONLY HOPE

TO GET ANY SORT OF HELP TO TRY AND GET MY WEIGHT UNDER CONTROL

AND SAVE MY LIFE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

♪♪

♪♪

CHRISTIAN AND I ARE HEADED TO HOUSTON TODAY,

BUT WE'RE BOTH REALLY NERVOUS ABOUT THIS WHOLE TRIP,

SO WE'VE BEEN FIGHTING FOR MOST OF THE MORNING.

OH, MY GOSH. MY LEG IS SO SWOLLEN RIGHT NOW, CHRISTIAN.

DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE, LIKE, URGENT CARE

AND STUFF DOWN THERE I CAN GO TO?

MAYBE. I'LL TAKE A LOOK ONLINE

TO SEE IF IT'S A THIRD-WORLD COUNTRY.

I'M GETTING REALLY STRESSED OUT, CHRISTIAN.

I DON'T NEED YOUR ATTITUDE.

I DON'T GIVE A [BLEEP].

Maja: I DON'T FEEL LIKE HE'S EVEN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND

HOW HIGH MY ANXIETY IS.

MY MIND IS JUST RACING ABOUT ALL THINGS THAT COULD GO WRONG.

♪♪

OH, YOU KNOW ONE THING I'M WORRIED ABOUT?

THOSE DAMN BEDBUGS.

ONE OF MY FRIENDS RECENTLY WENT ON A TRIP,

AND WHEN SHE CAME BACK, SHE HAD THEM.

NORMAL PEOPLE CAN GET THEM.

WELL, IF WE FIND ANY, I'LL CALL THE FBI.

CHRISTIAN! STOP!

♪♪

I DON'T FEEL LIKE HE'S TAKING ANY OF THIS SERIOUS AT ALL.

I'M JUST TRYING TO KEEP AS CALM AS I CAN

AND WORK UP THE COURAGE TO DO THIS.

SO A LITTLE HELP WOULD GO A LONG WAY RIGHT NOW.

I NEED MY PHONE, PLEASE.

WHERE IS YOUR PHONE?

IN MY PURSE. I NEED TO CHECK MY FLIGHT.

Christian: WHERE'S YOUR PURSE?

CHRISTIAN! REALLY? GET OFF YOUR PHONE...

I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOUR PURSE IS.

...AND BE A PART OF THIS!

WHERE THE [BLEEP] IS YOUR PURSE?

IT'S RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. I LEFT IT RIGHT NEXT TO YOU.

YOUR PURSE IS NOT RIGHT HERE.

[ SIGHS ] HERE.

♪♪

I REALLY WISH CHRISTIAN WOULD TAKE THIS MORE SERIOUSLY.

COME PICK IT UP.

♪♪

I JUST HOPE THAT CHRISTIAN STARTS TO GIVE

A LITTLE MORE SUPPORT,

BECAUSE IF HE DOESN'T, THEN MY FEAR IS THAT THIS TRIP

TO HOUSTON COULD BE TOO MUCH FOR ME,

EITHER PHYSICALLY OR EMOTIONALLY,

AND I'M SO CLOSE TO NOT BEING ABLE TO TAKE IT.

♪♪

♪♪

Maja: SO FAR, THIS TRIP HAS BEEN ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE.

I'VE BEEN ON THIS PLANE FOR ALMOST FOUR HOURS,

AND I'M IN A LOT OF PAIN.

WALKING THROUGH THE WHOLE AIRPORT

TOOK ALMOST ALL MY ENERGY,

AND I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO RELAX OR GET ANY REST ON THE PLANE

BECAUSE OF HOW CRAMPED AND UNCOMFORTABLE THIS IS.

I JUST HOPE WE LAND SOON

AND IT DOESN'T TAKE TOO LONG TO GET OFF.

CHRISTIAN HAD TO SIT IN THE BACK

'CAUSE WE COULDN'T GET SEATS TOGETHER,

AND I HAVE TO HAVE HIS HELP.

♪♪

SO I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG I'M GONNA HAVE TO WAIT FOR HIM,

AND I JUST WANT THIS TO BE OVER.

♪♪

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

♪♪

HI.

♪♪

♪♪

Maja: I HAVE TO FIND A PLACE

I CAN SIT OR I CAN REST COMFORTABLY FOR A MINUTE.

MY HIP IS IN SO MUCH PAIN,

AND I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO MAKE IT IF I CAN'T.

♪♪

OKAY.

♪♪

PEOPLE ARE JUST EVERYWHERE.

I FEEL LIKE A SPECTACLE RIGHT NOW.

♪♪

AND IT'S ONLY GONNA GET WORSE IF I END UP ON THE GROUND.

♪♪

ALL RIGHT.

-THE CHAIRS DON'T MOVE. -HOLY [BLEEP]. THEY DON'T.

♪♪

OH, MY HIP.

[BLEEP]

IT HURTS SO BAD.

LET'S TAKE A BREAK.

♪♪

MY LEGS HURT. THEY'RE SO SWOLLEN.

AND MY HIP IS OUT.

JUST TAKE A MINUTE.

IT'S UPSETTING ME THAT I'M NOT BEING ABLE TO DO

WHAT I WANT TO DO, LIKE JUST WALK TO THE DAMN THING

AND GET MY STUFF AND GO ON WITH MY LIFE.

IT'S A BIG AIRPORT, MAJA.

IT'S SOMEWHERE NEW. IT'S BIG. IT'S A LOT.

♪♪

ALL RIGHT. [ GROANS ]

♪♪

Maja: ALL THIS ACTIVITY'S MORE THAN I'VE HAD IN YEARS,

SO IT'S A LOT FOR MY BODY.

I JUST NEED TO GET THIS OVER WITH,

AND ONCE I GET TO THE HOTEL AND HAVE A BED,

I CAN FINALLY LAY DOWN AND REST.

♪♪

[ MAN ON P.A. SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]

Maja: THIS IS SO MUCH MORE WALKING

THAN I EVEN REALIZED I WAS GONNA HAVE TO DO.

AND HOW FAR EVERYTHING IS, IT'S REALLY FRUSTRATING,

'CAUSE I CALLED BOTH THE AIRPORTS BEFORE I LEFT

AND ASKED THEM ABOUT HOW FAR EVERYTHING WAS

AND HOW MUCH WALKING THERE WAS.

SO I'M UPSET RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY LEGS HURT

AND THE LADY LIED TO ME ABOUT HOW FAR IT WAS,

BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE MADE OTHER ARRANGEMENTS

FOR ME TO GET HERE IF I KNEW HOW FAR IT WAS.

I UNDERSTAND THAT I'M A BIG PERSON,

BUT IT DOESN'T GIVE PEOPLE THE RIGHT TO LIE TO ME.

I JUST NEED TO GET ALL THIS OVER WITH.

IF I COULD JUST MAKE IT TO GET THE CAR,

IT SHOULD BE EASIER FROM THERE.

-THAT'S THE RENTAL-CAR SHUTTLE. -OHH!

AND THANKFULLY THERE'S A BUS TO TAKE US TO THE RENTAL-CAR PLACE.

DOES THE BUS GO DOWN?

OH, NO, THAT'S OKAY. THAT'S OKAY.

-OKAY. -OKAY.

ALL RIGHT. HERE WE GO.

♪♪

SO I'M HOPING I ONLY NEED TO PUSH MYSELF A LITTLE FURTHER,

AND THIS WHOLE EXPERIENCE AND TRIP WILL BE OVER FOR TODAY.

BUT IT'S HARD TO DESCRIBE JUST HOW MUCH PAIN I'M IN.

-THAT'S IT. -YEAH.

♪♪

-GOOD. HOW ARE YOU? -GOOD. WELCOME.

-YEAH, I HAVE ONE. -YOUR LAST NAME?

RADANOVIC.

♪♪

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

THEY DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT CAR RESERVED FOR US.

THIS IS COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS.

I LITERALLY CANNOT BELIEVE HOW MUCH WRONG INFORMATION

HAS BEEN GIVEN TO ME ABOUT TODAY

AND HOW SO MANY PEOPLE CAN SCREW UP.

WE HAD A LARGE S.U.V. RESERVED,

AND THEY SAY ALL THEY CAN GIVE US IS A REGULAR-SIZE CAR.

BUT IT'S NOT AN ISSUE ABOUT WHAT I WANT.

I MAY NOT EVEN BE ABLE TO FIT IF IT'S TOO SMALL.

♪♪

OW.

-ARE YOU GONNA FIT? -OW. OW! CHRISTIAN.

[BLEEP]. NO.

-I CAN'T GET UP. -OKAY, HOLD ON.

-DON'T STRESS. -[BLEEP] [BLEEP]

I'M SCARED. I'M SCARED. PLEASE.

-DON'T BE SCARED. -PLEASE.

-COME ON. -HANG ON, HANG ON.

HANG ON.

♪♪

-HELP ME. -WHAT --

JUST HELP, PLEASE.

OW! OW! I CAN'T. HANG ON.

I CAN'T -- I HAVE TO GO DOWN.

I CAN'T.

[BLEEP]

-LET GO. -OKAY.

♪♪

MY [BLEEP] LEG GOT STUCK.

♪♪

Maja: THIS IS EVERYTHING I FEARED.

IF I CAN'T GET UP, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

MY [BLEEP] LEG GOT STUCK.

Maja: I'M SO SCARED RIGHT NOW,

BUT I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO CALL FOR HELP

AND HAVE TO GET THE FIRE DEPARTMENT HERE.

SO I JUST HOPE I CAN GET UP.

♪♪

-CHRISTIAN. -YEAH, WHAT DO YOU NEED?

PLEASE. YES! YES.

OKAY?

OKAY. [ SOBBING ]

WHY ARE YOU CRYING?

'CAUSE THAT WAS REALLY HARD AND EMBARRASSING.

[ SOBBING ]

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING THAT WAS.

♪♪

I'M SORRY.

DON'T MAKE A SCENE.

THIS ISN'T ACCEPTABLE AT ALL FOR THEM TO DO THIS TO ME.

I HAVE TO HAVE SOMETHING I CAN FIT IN,

OR WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BIG PROBLEM.

♪♪

I'M ALREADY COMPLETELY WORN OUT,

AND IF I HAVE TO DO THIS MUCH LONGER,

I'M GONNA PASS OUT.

THIS HAS TURNED OUT TO BE THE WORST DAY EVER,

AND I JUST WANT IT TO BE OVER WITH NOW.

Christian: WE NEED SOMETHING BIGGER, SEAT-WISE.

LIKE A JEEP?

[ SNIFFLING ]

-NO REASON TO CRY. -I'M UPSET.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO ME.

WELL, I GOT TO USE THE RESTROOM. JUST HANG OUT FOR A SECOND.

[ SOBBING ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN.

MY LEGS ARE SO SWOLLEN, AND I'M REALLY WORRIED

THAT MY LYMPHEDEMA WILL SWELL EVEN MORE.

I FEEL LIKE MY JEANS ARE ABOUT TO RIP OFF

BECAUSE THEY'RE SO TIGHT ON MY LEGS.

I'M SCARED ABOUT MY LEGS,

AND I JUST DON'T WANT TO GET ANOTHER INFECTION

AND END UP IN THE HOSPITAL.

♪♪

I'M SO SCARED.

♪♪

♪♪

THIS HAS BEEN ONE OF THE MOST HORRIBLE EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE,

AND I JUST WANT IT TO BE OVER.

♪♪

♪♪

I JUST WANT TO GET TO THE HOTEL NOW.

I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT EATING,

EVEN THOUGH I'VE HARDLY HAD ANYTHING ALL DAY.

I NEED TO HAVE SOMEWHERE WHERE I CAN LIE DOWN

AND ELEVATE MY LEGS

SO I CAN TRY TO GET THE SWELLING TO GO DOWN.

WHEN I PUT TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON MY LYMPHEDEMA,

IT CAN MAKE IT FLARE UP AND SWELL A LOT.

AND IF THAT HAPPENS AND THE SKIN STARTS TO CRACK AT ALL

OR IF I EVEN GET A SMALL CUT,

I CAN GET AN INFECTION THAT CAN BE REALLY BAD FOR ME,

AND THE LAST THING I NEED RIGHT NOW TO END THIS TRIP

IS TO END UP IN THE HOSPITAL FOR MONTHS.

THAT WOULD BE JUST THE PERFECT CRAPPY ENDING

TO THE WORST TRIP OF MY LIFE.

♪♪

THANK GOD WE'RE HERE.

IF I CAN JUST GET SOME REST AND RECOVER SOME,

TOMORROW WILL HOPEFULLY MAKE THIS ALL WORTH IT.

Christian: IT'S VERY FRUSTRATING TO SEE MAJA STRUGGLE.

IT MAKES ME FEEL REALLY BAD.

BUT I'M HAPPY THAT MAJA'S TAKING THE STEPS

AND GONNA GO SEE DR. NOW TOMORROW.

♪♪

I NEED THIS OPPORTUNITY.

I CAN'T FALTER ON IT.

MM-HMM.

Maja: I JUST HOPE I CAN GET THE HELP I NEED TO SAVE MY LIFE.

♪♪

CHRISTIAN AND I ARE HEADED TO SEE DR. NOW

FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT.

AFTER RESTING SOME, I'M FEELING A LITTLE BETTER,

BUT NOT A LOT, TO BE HONEST.

♪♪

MY LYMPHEDEMA IS STILL A LITTLE SWOLLEN,

SO I'M NERVOUS THAT MY SWELLING WAS GONNA MAKE

MY WEIGH-IN HIGHER TODAY,

WITH ALL THE FOOD I'M RETAINING IN IT.

SO I JUST HOPE DR. NOW TAKES ME ON AS A PATIENT

AND THINKS I'M SOMEONE HE CAN HELP.

BUT THERE'S ALWAYS THAT FEAR THAT HE COULD FIND SOMETHING

THAT MEANS HE CAN'T HELP ME.

MAJA RADANOVIC.

AND I'M ALSO NERVOUS TO FIND OUT HOW MUCH I WEIGH.

IT'S BEEN YEARS SINCE I'VE BEEN ON A SCALE,

AND I KNOW I'M AT LEAST IN THE 600s.

I'M JUST HOPING IT'S NOT A LOT MORE THAN THAT.

♪♪

IT'S REALLY EMBARRASSING TO SEE A NUMBER LIKE THAT

AND TO KNOW IT'S MY ACTUAL WEIGHT

AND TO REALIZE JUST HOW OUT OF CONTROL

I LET MY WEIGHT GET

AND HOW MUCH FURTHER AWAY I AM FROM BEING WHERE I NEED TO BE.

SO I FEEL AWFUL RIGHT NOW AND LIKE SUCH A FAILURE.

AND I KNOW I DESPERATELY NEED HELP,

BECAUSE MY BODY CAN'T TAKE IT GETTING ANY WORSE.

[ KNOCK, DOOR OPENS ]

-HELLO. -HI.

I'M DR. NOWZARADAN. HOW ARE YOU DOING?

-GOOD. HI. I'M MAJA. -NICE TO MEET YOU.

-CHRISTIAN. -NICE TO MEET YOU.

ALL RIGHT, SO, WHAT BROUGHT YOU DOWN TO HOUSTON?

-YOU. -ME?

OKAY. LET'S SEE WHAT WE CAN DO FOR YOU.

SO, YOU ARE 33. AND YOU WEIGH 689.

YES.

WHAT IS THE HIGHEST WEIGHT YOU HAVE BEEN?

THIS WEIGHT.

-THIS IS IT? -YES.

OKAY, THEN, HOW DO YOU THINK YOU GOT TO THIS WEIGHT?

PROBABLY LARGE PORTIONS AND NOT EXERCISING.

OKAY. SO, YOU TELL ME THAT'S IT --

JUST LARGE PORTIONS AND LIMITED ACTIVITY?

NOTHING ELSE?

-NO. -OKAY.

SO, WHAT IS YOUR EATING HABIT LOOK LIKE?

TWO TO THREE LARGE MEALS A DAY.

-AND ANY SNACK IN BETWEEN? -NO.

-WHAT DO YOU DRINK? -WATER, JUICE, COFFEE.

SO, ACCORDING TO WHAT YOU TELL ME, YOU DON'T SNACK,

YOU DON'T EAT JUNK FOOD,

YOU DON'T REALLY DRINK ANYTHING BAD.

YOU JUST OVEREAT SOME.

AND SOMEHOW THAT GOT YOU UP TO BEING ALMOST 700 POUNDS.

DOES THAT SOUND LIKE IT MAKES MUCH SENSE TO YOU?

BECAUSE IT'S NOT MAKING MUCH SENSE TO ME.

SO, PART OF YOUR PROBLEM IS THAT YOU'RE USED TO LYING

ABOUT YOUR EATING HABITS.

BUT THE SCALE DOESN'T LIE, SO YOU SHOULDN'T, EITHER.

THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK IF YOU'RE NOT HONEST WITH ME.

GOT IT? OKAY.

HOW ABOUT CHRISTIAN?

IS HE HELPING YOU WITH EATING HABIT

OR IS HE ENABLING YOU,

OR HE'S SUPPORTING YOUR WEIGHT LOSS OR WHAT?

OH, HE'S 100% SUPPORTIVE OF ANY WEIGHT LOSS.

SO YOU'RE A CLOSET EATER, THEN, IF HE'S NOT BRINGING YOU FOOD.

AND YOU LIE ABOUT WHAT YOU EAT, AND THAT HAS TO STOP HERE TODAY

IF YOU'RE TRULY READY TO GET HELP AND CHANGE.

OKAY.

SO, DO YOU THINK YOU'RE CAPABLE OF BEING HONEST

ABOUT THESE THINGS?ABSOLUTELY.

ALL RIGHT, THEN. NO MORE LYING.

IF YOU DO THIS, WHAT IS YOUR GOAL?

I DON'T REALLY HAVE A PHYSICAL NUMBER GOAL.

I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO EXTEND MY LIFE

AND MY QUALITY OF LIFE AND TO BE HEALTHY.

WELL, THAT IS A GOOD GOAL.

I'M GONNA START YOU ON A 1,200-CALORIE-A-DAY,

HIGH-PROTEIN, LOW-CARB DIET,

AND I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A LIST OF FOOD

THAT YOU NEED TO AVOID,

AND THE ONES YOU LIKE TO SNEAK ARE NO LONGER PART OF YOUR DIET.

AND I WANT YOU TO LOSE AT LEAST 100 POUNDS

OVER THE NEXT TWO MONTHS.

YOU STICK WITH THE 1,200 DIET,

YOU'RE GONNA LOSE THAT IN NO TIME.

YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THAT?

-I'M GOING TO DO MY BEST. -OKAY.

WELL, YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND IF YOU DON'T DO THIS

YOU'RE LIKELY NOT GONNA LIVE FOR MORE

THAN TWO TO THREE YEARS AT THIS POINT,

SO THIS IS LIFE-AND-DEATH FOR YOU.

OKAY.

SO IF YOU'RE GONNA DO YOUR BEST, I SUGGEST YOU TRY HARD.

-OKAY. -OKAY.

YOU CAN DO THIS, MAJA, IF YOU'RE REALLY READY TO CHANGE.

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO CHANGE AND YOU EXPECT US

TO DO ALL THE WORK FOR YOU -- NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.

-MM-HMM. -THAT MAKE SENSE TO YOU?

I HOPE SO.

NO, I'M READY TO PUT IN THE WORK, DR. NOW.

OKAY. WELL, THAT CAN BE THE IMPORTANT FACTOR, OKAY?

I HAVE A REALLY GOOD SUPPORT SYSTEM.

CHRISTIAN -- HE'S THE ONE WHO EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT,

LIKE, HAVING ME CONTACT YOU AND REACH OUT FOR HELP.

WELL, THAT'S GREAT.

CHRISTIAN, MAKE SURE YOU SUPPORT HER HOW SHE NEEDS.

YOU GOT IT?

-I GOT A QUESTION. -YEAH?

WHAT'S THE MOST WEIGHT YOU'VE SEEN SOMEONE LOSE

ON A 1,200-CALORIE IN ONE MONTH?

-120 POUNDS. -REALLY? IN ONE MONTH?

-YEAH. -WOW.

-YEAH. -THAT'S -- WOW.

BLOWN AWAY BY THAT. THAT'S CRAZY. YEAH.

SO 100 POUNDS IN TWO MONTHS

SHOULD BE NO PROBLEM FOR YOU, MAJA.

YOU CAN LOSE THAT.

WILL THERE BE A SHOCK TO HER SYSTEM?

LIKE, JUST IMMEDIATELY -- JUST --

LET'S SAY SHE JUST IMMEDIATELY GOES IN 1,200-CALORIE.

THE SYSTEM IS PUSHED TO THE LIMIT,

AND THEN WE'RE GONNA TAKE A LOAD OFF OF IT.

-OH, ALL RIGHT. OKAY. -OKAY?

-I GET IT. YEAH. -IT'S IN REVERSE.

-YEAH. -SO, STICK WITH THIS DIET, MAJA,

AND I'LL SEE YOU BOTH SOON, ALL RIGHT?

-NICE TO MEET YOU. -NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO.

-NICE TO MEET YOU. -THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

♪♪

I'M REALLY HOPING THAT MAJA IS AS SERIOUS

ABOUT HER HEALTH AS SHE CLAIMS.

BUT I HAVE A LOT OF CONCERNS ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW.

SHE'S CLEARLY USED TO LYING ABOUT WHAT SHE EATS,

AND IF SHE INTENDS TO CONTINUE DOING THAT

AND TRIES TO LIE TO ME AGAIN,

THEN THERE WILL BE NO POINT IN HER DOING THIS PROGRAM.

BUT HOPEFULLY SHE WILL SURPRISE ME

WITH HER PROGRESS WHEN SHE RETURNS.

BUT IF MAJA SETS HER MIND TO IT,

SHE'S MORE THAN CAPABLE OF HITTING THIS GOAL

AND LOSING THE WEIGHT SHE NEEDS OVER THE NEXT TWO MONTHS.

I'M HOPING HER BOYFRIEND, CHRISTIAN,

IS ACTUALLY THE SUPPORT SHE CLAIMS HE IS,

BUT HE SEEMED A LITTLE DETACHED AND SKEPTICAL

THAT MAJA WOULD BE ABLE TO LOSE THE WEIGHT SHE NEEDS.

SO IF SHE HAS SOMEONE AT HOME WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE IN HER,

IT'LL BE A WHOLE LOT HARDER FOR HER TO DO WHAT SHE NEEDS.

♪♪

Maja: I FEEL NUMB RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE I WANT TO DO THIS

AND I'M WILLING TO TRY,

BUT MY FEAR IS THAT THE GOAL IS JUST TOO BIG

AND THAT I CAN'T DO IT.

SO I FEEL DOOMED BEFORE I EVEN START...

AND NO MATTER WHAT I DO OR HOW HARD I TRY,

I'M JUST GONNA END UP EATING MYSELF TO DEATH.

♪♪

♪♪

Maja: IT'S BEEN A WEEK SINCE I HAD MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH DR. NOW,

AND FOR THE FIRST FEW DAYS AFTER I SAW HIM,

I WAS FREAKING OUT A BIT, TRYING TO WRAP MY HEAD

AROUND THE 100-POUND WEIGHT-LOSS GOAL

HE WANTS ME TO LOSE OVER THE NEXT TWO MONTHS.

IT JUST SEEMED IMPOSSIBLE.

BUT AFTER WRESTLING WITH IT A LITTLE BIT,

I DECIDED I'M GONNA WORK AS HARD AS I CAN TO LOSE

AS MUCH AS I'M ABLE BEFORE MY NEXT APPOINTMENT.

SO I'M EATING HEALTHY,

BUT IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THESE AREN'T MEALS

THAT I'M EMBARRASSED ABOUT, I'M SO USED TO EATING ALONE,

AND I'M WONDERING HOW HARD IT'S GONNA BE TO CHANGE THAT.

♪♪

SO I'M PLANNING TO START HAVING MEALS WITH CHRISTIAN.

BUT I THINK IT'S GONNA TAKE A LITTLE TIME

FOR ME TO MAKE THAT ADJUSTMENT,

BECAUSE I CAN'T MAKE ALL THE CHANGES I NEED OVERNIGHT.

SO I MAY BE TAKING BABY STEPS,

BUT AT LEAST I'M MOVING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

♪♪

WALKING THROUGH THE AIRPORT

SHOWED ME JUST HOW OUT OF SHAPE I AM,

AND THAT'S DEFINITELY ONE THING I WANT TO MAKE SURE I IMPROVE.

SO I'M GONNA GO START TO DO WORKOUTS AT THE GYM

WITH THE GROUP OF LADIES I'VE KNOWN FOR A LONG TIME.

SO, THAT'S EXCITING BUT ALSO A LITTLE SCARY,

'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO PUSH MYSELF TO MY LIMIT AGAIN.

SO I KNOW I JUST NEED TO BE CAREFUL

AND NOT OVERDO IT RIGHT NOW.

♪♪

♪♪

-HELLO. -HI, MAJA!

-HI! GOOD TO SEE YOU. -YOU TOO.

THANKS FOR COMING. THANKS FOR COMING.

-OF COURSE, OF COURSE. -THANKS FOR COMING.

-YOU'RE WELCOME! -THANKS FOR HAVING ME.

-ABSOLUTELY. -I'M SO GLAD YOU MADE IT.

THANKS FOR COMING. SO PROUD OF YOU.

-ALL RIGHT. -LET'S GET INTO IT.

-IT'S BACK HERE. -ALL RIGHT.

♪♪

Maja: THIS IS WAY OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE --

NOT JUST TO DO SOMETHING ACTIVE LIKE THIS,

BUT TO BE DOING IT IN PUBLIC.

I THINK IT JUST GOES TO SHOW HOW DETERMINED I AM

AND HOW FAR I'VE ALREADY COME.

Woman: ONE MORE, MAJA. LET'S DO IT.

AND...TEN.

-YAY! -GOOD JOB. GOOD.

THAT WAS GREAT.

-FOR REAL? -YEP.

Maja: THIS ISN'T AS BAD AS I SAW IT IN MY HEAD.

IT'S ENCOURAGING TO FEEL LIKE

I CAN DO THINGS LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

AND TO SEE MY HARD WORK PAYING OFF.

♪♪

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

YEAH, I NEED TO COOL DOWN. LIKE, MY HEART'S REALLY RACING.

MM-HMM.

WHERE SHOULD I SIT?

YEAH, 'CAUSE I'M FEELING NOT SO GOOD.

OKAY, LET'S GO.

I NEED TO SIT DOWN.

♪♪

I FEEL REALLY DIZZY.

I THINK I WENT TOO FAR,

'CAUSE IT FEELS LIKE IT WAS TOO MUCH.

I THINK I'M GONNA PASS OUT.

♪♪

THIS IS REALLY DISCOURAGING NOW.

I WAS SO OPTIMISTIC.

AND I'M SCARED I DID SOMETHING TO MYSELF,

BECAUSE I'M HAVING TROUBLE BREATHING

AND MY HEAD IS KILLING ME.

I JUST WANTED TO WORK MY HARDEST

BECAUSE I ONLY HAVE A MONTH LEFT UNTIL I SEE DR. NOW AGAIN,

AND I'M REALLY HOPING I DIDN'T SERIOUSLY HURT MYSELF TODAY.

♪♪

♪♪

ME AND CHRISTIAN ARE BACK IN HOUSTON

FOR MY FOLLOW-UP WITH DR. NOW,

AND IT'S HARD NOT TO BE EXTREMELY NERVOUS RIGHT NOW,

BECAUSE SO MUCH DEPENDS ON HOW THIS GOES TODAY

AND WHETHER I SUCCEEDED OR FAILED.

♪♪

BUT THE HARDEST THING IS THAT I HAVE NO IDEA

HOW I'VE DONE THESE PAST TWO MONTHS.

I FEEL LIKE I'VE WORKED AS HARD I POSSIBLY COULD.

I HAD SOME SETBACKS AT TIMES,

BUT I'VE ALMOST COMPLETELY STUCK TO THE DIET.

SO WHATEVER HAPPENS TODAY, I CAN AT LEAST FEEL GOOD

ABOUT KNOWING I DID MY BEST.

♪♪

MAJA RADANOVIC.

AT MY LAST APPOINTMENT, MY WEIGHT WAS 689.

AND DR. NOW TOLD ME I NEEDED TO LOSE 100 POUNDS

OVER THE NEXT TWO MONTHS.

SO IF I DID THAT, I'LL BE AT LEAST DOWN TO 589 TODAY.

BUT IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I'VE BEEN IN THE 500s.

♪♪

♪♪

THAT'S AMAZING.

I'M IN DISBELIEF THAT I ACTUALLY DID IT.

I KNOW IT'S NOT EXACTLY 100 POUNDS,

BUT LOSING THAT AMOUNT HAS TO BE ENOUGH FOR DR. NOW

TO SEE HOW COMMITTED I AM.

SO I'M REALLY EXCITED RIGHT NOW

♪♪

-HELLO. -HI.

-HOW Y'ALL DOING? -GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

I'M GOOD, THANK YOU. ALL RIGHT.

SO TODAY, YOU ARE AT 596, HUH?

-YES. -YOU'VE LOST 93 POUNDS.

NOT QUITE YOUR GOAL, BUT NOT BAD.

AND THAT AMOUNT STILL SHOWS SOME DEDICATION FROM YOU.

WAS THAT EASY?

NO. NOT AT ALL. IT WAS VERY HARD.

WELL, DESPITE THAT, YOU STUCK TO IT, HUH?

-MM-HMM. -WHICH IS GOOD.

WITH 100 POUNDS OFF YOU, CAN YOU TELL ANY IMPROVEMENT

IN YOUR BREATHING OR WALKING OR ANYTHING?

YES. UM, WHEN I WALKED IN THE AIRPORT,

I DIDN'T STOP THIS TIME.MM-HMM.

UM, AND I DEFINITELY FEEL LIGHTER ON MY FEET,

AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE MORE STAMINA.

OKAY. GOOD.

SINCE YOU LOST THAT WEIGHT,

WE'RE GONNA APPROVE YOU FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

-SOUNDS GOOD. -BUT TO DO THIS PROGRAM,

YOU WILL NEED TO MOVE DOWN TO HOUSTON FOR AROUND A YEAR.

SO, ARE YOU READY AND ABLE TO DO THAT?

-MM-HMM. -THAT'S GOOD.

SO, IS HE GONNA MOVE WITH YOU TO HOUSTON?

-YEP. -MM-HMM.

HE DIDN'T SOUND VERY SURE.

HE'S NOT EXCITED FOR THE WEATHER.

UM, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WEATHER?

IT'S VERY HUMID HERE.

-AND HOT. -AND HOT.

YOU GET USED TO IT, TO HEAT.

AND WE HAVE AIR-CONDITIONING.

IT'S GONNA BE A BIG ADJUSTMENT FOR US.

WELL, IT'S NOT FOREVER.

AND THIS IS TO SAVE YOUR LIFE.

SO I THINK THE SOONER YOU MOVE,

THE SOONER WE GET YOU STARTED ON THE PROGRAM.

SO, ONCE YOU BOTH MOVE DOWN HERE,

AND AS LONG AS YOU KEEP MAKING GOOD PROGRESS,

WE WILL MOVE AHEAD WITH YOUR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

-I'M READY. -ALL RIGHT. THAT'S GREAT.

I'M READY TO COMMIT TO EVERYTHING, SO...

OKAY, WELL, DON'T TAKE A VICTORY LAP AND START GOING BACK

AND EATING UNHEALTHY FOOD AGAIN, OKAY?

-MM-HMM. -ALL RIGHT.

GREAT. WELL, NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

NICE TO SEE YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

AND YOU'VE DONE GREAT JOB ON YOUR WEIGHT LOSS.

-THANK YOU. -SEE YOU SOON.

OKAY.

♪♪

Dr. Nowzaradan: MAJA'S PROGRESS THESE PAST FEW MONTHS

IS A VERY PLEASANT SURPRISE.

BUT THE FACT SHE DIDN'T QUITE MAKE IT TO HER GOAL

MEANS SHE STILL HAS SOME HESITATION

ABOUT GIVING UP FOOD, LIKE SHE NEEDS.

SO PSYCHOTHERAPY IS GOING TO BE VERY IMPORTANT

TO START WITH HER SOON AFTER SURGERY,

AND I STILL HAVE SOME CONCERN ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND, CHRISTIAN.

I'M GETTING THE IMPRESSION THAT HE THOUGHT MAJA WOULD FAIL,

AND HE WASN'T EXPECTING HER TO MAKE IT TO THIS POINT.

AND IF THAT TURNS OUT TO BE THE CASE, THEN MAJA'S SITUATION

AND HER MOVE DOWN MAY GET MORE COMPLICATED.

BUT HOPEFULLY, THERE WILL BE NO ISSUES

AND MAJA WILL BE ABLE TO STAY ON TRACK.

Maja: THIS HAS ALL JUST BLOWN MY MIND.

BUT TO BE APPROVED FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY

IS INCREDIBLE, AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR IT.

SO ALL THE HARD WORK AND PAIN HAS BEEN WORTH IT,

BECAUSE I DID IT.

I KNOW MOVING DOWN HERE IS GONNA TAKE A LOT,

AND IT WON'T BE EASY TO DO.

BUT I'VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS,

SO I'M READY TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET US DOWN HERE.

AND THE SOONER WE DO, THE SOONER I CAN GET SURGERY

AND START THE WHOLE NEW LIFE I'M WORKING TOWARDS.

AND I REALLY CAN'T WAIT.

♪♪

♪♪

Maja: CHRISTIAN AND I HAVE BEEN WORKING VERY HARD

TO GET EVERYTHING IN PLACE TO MAKE THE MOVE TO HOUSTON,

AND WE'RE FINALLY HEADING THERE TODAY.

AND RIGHT NOW, WE'RE HEADED OVER TO MY GRANDMA'S

SO WE CAN LOAD SOME STUFF UP ON TOP OF THE CAR...

AND THEN SAY GOODBYE TO MY GRANDMA AND MY MOM AND HEAD OUT.

I'M WORRIED SEEING THEM RIGHT NOW

IS GONNA MAKE LEAVING EVEN MORE EMOTIONAL FOR ME.

MY GRANDMA, MY AUNT, AND MY MOM

HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE THAN 10 OR 15 MINUTES FROM ME.

SO LEAVING THEM IS A LOT HARDER

THAN I REALIZED IT WAS GOING TO BE.

IT'S BEEN STRESSFUL. FOR ME AND FOR CHRISTIAN, TOO.

WE'VE BEEN FIGHTING A LOT,

AND THAT HASN'T MADE IT ANY EASIER, EITHER.

SO I'M JUST TRYING TO HOLD IT TOGETHER,

AND I JUST WANT TO GET THE WHOLE MOVE OVER WITH AT THIS POINT.

-HI. -HI, HONEY.

HI, GUYS.

-HOW ARE YOU? -WHERE'S CHRISTIAN?

-HE'S COMING. -THERE HE IS.

-OH, OKAY. -HI, CHRISTIAN.

SIT DOWN.

-WELL? -WELL, WHAT'S GOING ON?

-WE'RE OUT OF THE APARTMENT. -OH, THANK GOD.

CHRISTIAN, YOU READY TO GO?

-YEAH. -OKAY. THAT'S GOOD, THEN.

GOT IT ALL SQUARED UP, PACKED AWAY, GOT THE CAR PACKED.

I HAD THAT STUFF IN STORAGE. I HAVE THE ROOF RACKS.

WELL, I WISH YOU THE BEST.

♪♪

MAJA GOING TO HOUSTON IS DEFINITELY GONNA BE

VERY DIFFICULT ON ALL OF US.

IT'S GONNA BE THE FIRST TIME OUR FAMILY'S GONNA BE APART.

BUT I KNOW SHE'S GOING TO GET THE HELP THAT SHE NEEDS,

SO I'M VERY HAPPY FOR HER.

-DRIVE CAREFUL, YOU GUYS. -YEAH.

-OKAY. YEAH. -ALL RIGHT.

YEAH, WE GOT TO PUT THE ROOF RACK ON NOW.

Ana: OKAY.

-ALL RIGHT. -GO DO YOUR THING.

Maja: I NEVER REALLY KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN I SEE MY MOM.

OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS GOTTEN BETTER OVER THE YEARS,

AND SHE'S ACTUALLY GIVEN CHRISTIAN AND ME

SOME MONEY TO MAKE THIS MOVE HAPPEN.

SO I'M THANKFUL FOR HER SUPPORT, BUT I STILL NEVER KNOW

IF SHE'S GONNA SAY SOMETHING TO ME TO HURT MY FEELINGS

AND WE'RE JUST GONNA END UP FIGHTING.

AND WITH HOW EMOTIONAL I AM,

THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN TOO MUCH FOR ME.

♪♪

Ana: HONEY? I DON'T THINK I WANT TO STAY TILL THE END,

BECAUSE THEN I'LL BE A BLUBBERING FOOL.

WE'RE ALMOST DONE!

HONEY, YOU STILL GOT STUFF IN THE HOUSE,

AND IT'S GONNA TAKE A WHILE,

SO I WANTED TO SAY MY GOODBYES NOW.

I CANNOT ACCEPT THEM RIGHT NOW. I AM BUSY.

I HATE DOING MULTIPLE THINGS.

I MEAN, I HAVE TO FOCUS ON THIS, AND YOU'RE DOING THIS NOW.

YES, I'M DOING IT NOW BECAUSE, THAT WAY, YOU'RE NOT GONNA CRY.

AND YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY, AND YOU'RE GONNA GET THE BEST HELP,

AND I WILL SEE YOU IN A FEW MONTHS.

AND YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY. STOP.

I CAN'T DO THIS RIGHT NOW, MOM!

-OKAY. IT'S ALL RIGHT. -I REALLY CAN'T.

I'M LEAVING. [BLEEP] YOU.

BECAUSE ALL SHE -- SHE CAN'T LEAVE!

THIS IS NOT THE PLAN! WE DIDN'T PLAN THIS, MOM!

MAJA, IT DOESN'T -- NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE PLANNED.

-THIS IS NOT THE TIME! -LIFE IS NOT PLANNED.

WE'RE DOING THIS NOW.

[ SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE ]

Ana: LIFE IS NOT PLANNED. THINGS HAPPEN.

MOM, STOP TALKING. JUST STOP TALKING.

YOU KNOW, THIS IS WHY WE HAVE FAMILY FIGHTS.

IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU. YOU WON'T CHANGE.

YOU'RE THE ONE MAKING IT TOUGH.

-NO, YOU -- -YOU ARE.

YOU'RE ALWAYS SAYING YOU HAVE TO WORK AND IT'S ABOUT MONEY.

Ana: DO YOU NEED MONEY?

MOM, YOU CAN'T JUST WAIT FIVE MINUTES FOR US TO GET THIS DONE?

[ SIGHS ] MAJA. NO. I GOT TO GO BACK TO WORK.

IT'S TIME TO GO TO WORK. SO YOU'LL BE OKAY.

-BE A BIG GIRL. -OKAY.

YOU'RE GONNA BE MY BIG GIRL.

OKAY.

CHRISTIAN?

IT'S AN ADVENTURE THAT YOU'RE GONNA BE ON.

Christian: YEP.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING CARE OF MAJA.

-YEP. -TIME TO GO TO WORK.

-I GOT BOTH JOBS TODAY. -ALL RIGHT.

-SO... -ALL RIGHT. BYE, MOM.

BYE, HONEY.

Maja: I SHOULD JUST KNOW BETTER AT THIS POINT.

THIS TYPE OF STUFF JUST MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I DID

WHEN I WAS A KID AND ATE TO FEEL BETTER,

SO THIS IS THE LAST THING I NEED.

-WE'RE ALL PACKED UP. -OKAY.

♪♪

-WE'RE ALL DONE. -OKAY. IF YOU'RE READY.

-YEAH. -GOODBYE.

BYE, BAKA.

[ SOBBING ]

YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY.

[ Crying ] I AM SAD BECAUSE SHE'S GOING.

♪♪

I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE'S GONNA BE THERE, BUT SHE NEED TO GO.

♪♪

I LOVE YOU. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING.

-GOOD LUCK. -OKAY.

-GOODBYE. -BYE.

BYE, BAKA.

[ MAJA SOBBING ]

♪♪

Maja: THIS IS SO MUCH HARDER THAN I REALIZED IT WOULD BE.

-BYE. -BYE.

♪♪

BUT I KNOW THIS IS THE RIGHT CHOICE,

BECAUSE I CAN'T KEEP GOING LIKE THIS.

EVEN RIGHT NOW, WITH HOW I'M STRUGGLING

WITH WANTING TO GO EAT SOMETHING I SHOULDN'T JUST TO FEEL BETTER,

SHOWS ME HOW MUCH I NEED TO DO THIS

AND HOW IMPORTANT IT IS I GET SURGERY.

THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE TO GET HELP,

AND I HAVE TO TAKE IT.

♪♪

♪♪

Maja: CHRISTIAN AND I HAVE MADE IT TO HOUSTON.

♪♪

IT TOOK US THREE DAYS TO GET HERE.

AND TO MAKE THAT TIME DRIVING 2,300 MILES,

I PRETTY MUCH DROVE ALL DAY NONSTOP.

SO I'M REALLY SORE AT THIS POINT.

BUT I JUST WANTED TO GET HERE AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE.

BUT AFTER THIS TRIP, I'M A LITTLE CONCERNED

BECAUSE IT WAS REALLY HARD TO STICK TO MY DIET

WHILE TRAVELING,

AND I ATE A LOT OF FAST FOOD I SHOULDN'T HAVE.

IT WAS ALREADY GETTING HARDER,

BUT THE FIGHT WITH MY MOM RIGHT BEFORE I LEFT

WAS NOT WHAT I NEEDED BEFORE DOING SOMETHING

AS STRESSFUL AND SCARY AS MOVING TO A WHOLE OTHER CITY

HALFWAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY.

AND TO MAKE IT ALL EVEN WORSE,

ME AND CHRISTIAN HAVE BEEN FIGHTING A LOT --

THE WHOLE WAY DOWN, PRACTICALLY.

I DON'T THINK HE'S BEING VERY SUPPORTIVE,

AND HE KEEPS MAKING COMMENTS ABOUT EVERY LITTLE THING.

BUT RIGHT NOW MY PLAN IS TO GET SETTLED INTO OUR NEW APARTMENT.

WE HAVE A COUCH AND BED BEING DELIVERED

SO WE HAVE PLACES TO REST,

AND WE DON'T HAVE A LOT WITH US.

Christian: SOME DELIVERIES? ALL RIGHT.

Maja: BUT ONCE I CAN REST AND COLLECT MYSELF,

I'M JUST GONNA TAKE TWO OR THREE WEEKS TO FOCUS ON THE DIET,

TO MAKE SURE I CAN UNDO WHATEVER PROGRESS

I MAY HAVE MESSED UP RECENTLY.

♪♪

THEN I'LL CALL DR. NOW AND LET HIM KNOW

WE'RE HERE AND I'M READY.

I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING TO RISK LOSING MY SURGERY,

SO, THIS WAY, I'LL BE READY FOR THE WEIGH-IN

AND TO SHOW DR. NOW THAT I'M STILL WORKING HARD.

I JUST HOPE I'M ABLE TO HOLD OUT

AND KEEP RESISTING ALL THE TEMPTATION UNTIL THEN,

BECAUSE IT'S GETTING SO HARD.

OHH! OH, MAN!

♪♪

CHRISTIAN AND I ARE HEADED TO SEE DR. NOW AT HIS CLINIC.

AFTER STRUGGLING WITH THE DIET SOME,

MY PLAN WAS TO TRY AND WORK REALLY HARD FOR A FEW WEEKS

TO LOSE AS MUCH AS I COULD.

BUT IT HASN'T GONE EXACTLY AS I HOPED.

IT'S JUST BEEN A LOT HARDER.

ME AND CHRISTIAN HAVE BEEN FIGHTING A LOT.

HE'S NOT HAPPY HERE,

AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND

WHY HE CAN'T FOCUS ON WHY WE'RE DOING THIS

AND SUPPORT ME LIKE I NEED RIGHT NOW.

BUT HE FINALLY TOLD ME THE TRUTH.

HE NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD MAKE IT THIS FAR

AND WE'D HAVE TO BE DOWN HERE FOR A YEAR.

♪♪

SO HE WANTS TO MOVE BACK, AND I FEEL DEVASTATED

BECAUSE IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN CARE

THAT THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE.

SO WHEN DR. NOW CALLED TO CHECK ON ME,

I TOLD HIM WE'D BEEN STRUGGLING

AND I'VE HAD A HARD TIME WITH THE DIET.

SO HE SAID HE NEEDED TO CHECK MY WEIGHT NOW.

BUT I'M SO SCARED ABOUT GETTING ON THE SCALE

AND THAT I MIGHT HAVE MESSED EVERYTHING UP.

♪♪

MAJA RADANOVIC.

♪♪

AT MY LAST DOCTOR'S VISIT, I LOST 93 POUNDS IN TWO MONTHS

TO GET DOWN TO 596.

AND WHEN DR. NOW APPROVED ME FOR SURGERY,

HE JUST TOLD ME THAT I NEEDED TO KEEP MAKING GOOD PROGRESS,

BUT HE DIDN'T GIVE ME A GOAL.

SO I REALLY HOPE I'VE DONE THAT.

BUT I AM SO SCARED TO FIND OUT.

♪♪

AT LEAST IT'S A LOSS,

BUT IT'S NOT ANYWHERE NEAR WHAT I WAS DOING.

SO I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS GOING TO BE ENOUGH FOR DR. NOW OR NOT.

BUT DESPITE ALL I'M GOING THROUGH

AND THE STRESS OF EVERYTHING, I'VE STILL MADE SOME PROGRESS.

SO I FEEL LIKE THIS SHOULD BE ENOUGH

TO SHOW DR. NOW THAT I'M READY TO GET SURGERY.

[ KNOCK, DOOR OPENS ]

-HELLO. -HELLO.

-HOW Y'ALL DOING? -GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

I'M DOING GOOD.

BUT, MAJA, YOU WERE CONCERNED YOU WEREN'T DOING SO WELL

AND THAT YOUR WEIGHT LOSS MAY HAVE SLIPPED

BECAUSE OF HOW YOU HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING.

AND THAT LOOKS TO BE EXACTLY THE CASE.

YOU'RE DOWN TO 587 TODAY, SO IN ONE MONTH,

YOU ONLY LOST 9 POUNDS.MM-HMM.

SO YOU HAVE GONE RIGHT BACK TO YOUR OLD WAYS.

SO, WHAT HAPPENED?

IT'S JUST BEEN A REALLY HARD TIME.

CHRISTIAN AND I HAVE BEEN FIGHTING A LOT.

AND GETTING DOWN HERE, DRIVING, WAS JUST REALLY STRESSFUL.

BUT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO EAT AS HEALTHY AS I CAN.

WELL, I UNDERSTAND THINGS ARE HARD.

BUT IF YOU USE THAT AS AN EXCUSE TO OVEREAT,

THEN YOU'RE NEVER GONNA LOSE WEIGHT, BECAUSE LIFE GETS HARD.

SO AS SYMPATHETIC AS I AM TO THAT, IT'S STILL NO EXCUSE.

SO AT THIS TIME, I'M CANCELING YOUR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

BUT IF YOU WANT TO SHOW ME

THAT YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE ANY MORE EXCUSES

AND YOU'RE READY TO WORK HARD AGAIN,

THEN I WANT YOU TO LOSE 50 POUNDS OVER THE NEXT MONTH.

OKAY.

IF YOU DO THAT, I WILL APPROVE YOU AGAIN

AND WE WILL MOVE AHEAD.

BUT AT THIS POINT,

WITH HOW YOU'RE JUSTIFYING YOUR LACK OF PROGRESS,

YOU'RE NO LONGER IN A GOOD PLACE TO DO THAT.

GOT IT? YOU GONNA KEEP WORKING TO CHANGE THAT?

-YES. -I HOPE SO.

AND I HOPE YOU'RE GETTING ALL THE SUPPORT YOU NEED FROM CHRISTIAN.

HOW ABOUT IT? ARE YOU THERE FOR HER, CHRISTIAN?

HE'S HERE.

I'D RATHER HEAR IT FROM HIM.

YOU DON'T WANT TO ANSWER MY QUESTION, HUH?

ALL RIGHT. IT LOOKS LIKE YOU BOTH HAVE A LOT TO FIGURE OUT

IF YOU'RE GONNA GET BACK ON TRACK, MAJA.

AND I SUGGEST YOU TWO TAKE THIS FAR MORE SERIOUSLY,

BECAUSE YOU ARE AT THE CROSSROADS.

AND HOW YOU HANDLE IT ALL RIGHT NOW

WILL DETERMINE THE COURSE OF REST OF YOUR LIFE.

ANY QUESTIONS? ALL RIGHT.

I HOPE TO SEE YOU BOTH IN A MONTH.

AND 50 POUNDS LIGHTER, MAJA.

OKAY.

IF YOU NEED ANYTHING BEFORE THEN, LET ME KNOW.

-THANK YOU. -ALL RIGHT.

♪♪

Dr. Nowzaradan: I'M VERY DISAPPOINTED THAT MAJA FELL BACK INTO HER OLD HABITS

AND THAT SHE'S BACK TO USING FOOD TO COPE WITH HER EMOTIONS

SO QUICKLY AND AFTER DOING SO WELL.

IT'S CLEAR SHE'S STRUGGLING WITH A NUMBER OF THINGS RIGHT NOW,

BUT I THINK THE ISSUES BETWEEN HER AND CHRISTIAN

ARE WHAT'S AFFECTING HER THE MOST.

HE IS CLEARLY NOT VERY ENGAGED

AND SEEMS TO HAVE NO DESIRE TO BE HERE WITH HER RIGHT NOW.

SO THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS EXTREMELY STRAINED.

BUT AS HARD AS THAT MAY BE FOR HER,

MAJA IS GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE.

WHETHER SHE'S GONNA DO WHAT SHE NEEDS

TO CONTINUE MOVING FORWARD,

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS IN HER LIFE,

AND HOW SHE CHOOSES TO RESPOND

WILL DETERMINE HOW SHE COMES OUT ON THE OTHER END OF THIS.

♪♪

I HAVE TO LOSE MORE WEIGHT NOW.

Christian: MM-HMM.

AND NOW I HAVE A WHOLE NOTHER MONTH OF [BLEEP]

I HAVE TO DO.

THIS IS YOUR FAULT!

"OH, YOU HAVEN'T LOST THAT MUCH."

YEAH, BECAUSE OF THE STRESS OF YOU TREATING ME LIKE THIS!

[ CRYING ]

I'M ABOUT TO [BLEEP] MELT DOWN!

DR. NOW ASKED YOU A SIMPLE QUESTION.

I'VE ANSWERED QUESTIONS IN THE PAST.

I CAN TAKE A DAY OFF.

I [BLEEP] HATE YOU!

I [BLEEP] HATE YOU FOR DOING THIS TO ME, CHRISTIAN!

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ANSWER THE [BLEEP] QUESTIONS?!

UGH!

YOU'RE COSTING ME MY WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY,

AND YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING!

NO.

DAMN IT, CHRISTIAN! STOP! STOP.

♪♪

I'LL ANSWER QUESTIONS ON ANOTHER DAY, BUT I JUST --

I HAVE THE RIGHT TO NOT ANSWER QUESTIONS.

NO, YOU DO NOT HAVE THE [BLEEP] RIGHT WHEN IT COMES TO MY LIFE!

-OKAY. -MOM!

CHRISTIAN'S [BLEEP] EVERYTHING UP IN THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE!

WELL...

NO! MOM! MOM!

[ SOBBING ] MOM.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

HE'S [BLEEP] WITH MY LIFE.

YES, MOM. HE'S -- YES.

HERE. MY MOM WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.

I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MOM.

TALK TO MY MOM, CHRISTIAN, PLEASE.

-NO. -PLEASE TALK TO MY MOM.

-UNH-UNH. -CHRISTIAN.

MOM, I'M PUTTING IT ON -- IT'S ON SPEAKERPHONE.

DO NOT HANG UP ON MY MOM!

OKAY.

NO. NOBODY HELPED ME WHEN I WAS ON THE STREET.

YOU GOT TO DO IT ON YOUR OWN.

NO. THIS IS QUITE NICE.

-IT'S YOUR FAULT. -I APPRECIATE THIS.

YOU'VE DONE THIS, CHRISTIAN. NOBODY ELSE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? WHATEVER.

Maja: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE DOING THIS TO ME, CHRISTIAN!

♪♪

♪♪

Maja: I'M IN TOTAL SHOCK RIGHT NOW.

I WAS ON MY WAY TO THE GROCERY STORE,

AND I GOT A TEXT FROM CHRISTIAN THAT JUST SAID HE WAS LEAVING.

AND HIS MOM GOT HIM A BUS TICKET BACK,

AND HE'S LEAVING TOMORROW MORNING.

SO I JUST WANT TO SEE HIM AND TALK TO HIM.

♪♪

I DON'T KNOW WHY HE'S DOING THIS

AND TEARING DOWN EVERYTHING WE'VE BEEN WORKING HARD FOR.

I KNOW WE'VE BEEN FIGHTING A LOT,

BUT I NEVER THOUGHT HE'D GO AS FAR AS ABANDON ME.

SO I DON'T SEE HOW HE COULD BE SERIOUS

OR HOW HE WOULD BE WILLING TO RUIN EVERYTHING AT THIS POINT.

AND I'M JUST TRYING NOT TO FREAK OUT,

BUT I'M COMPLETELY HEARTBROKEN AND DEVASTATED.

IT WAS NOT PART OF OUR PLAN.

I DON'T KNOW WHY HE'S CHOSEN TO DO THIS.

BUT I AM STILL HOPING THAT IF WE CAN JUST TALK,

WE COULD WORK THIS OUT

AND THAT HE'S NOT REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS.

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN OR WHAT TO TALK ABOUT.

♪♪

I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING.

♪♪

SO, YOU TEXT ME THAT YOU'RE LEAVING TOMORROW.

YES, I'M LEAVING TOMORROW. I GOT THE TICKET.

AND WHY ARE YOU CHOOSING TO LEAVE

BEFORE I GOT THE SURGERY DATE, TWO WEEKS BEFORE RENT'S DUE,

BEFORE ANY OF MY FAMILY MEMBERS ARE HERE?

AND YOU'RE ABANDONING ME.

WHY ARE YOU CHOOSING TO DO ALL OF THAT RIGHT NOW?

-IS YOUR STUFF PACKED? -MM-HMM.

AND YOU'RE DOING THIS?

YEP.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

-I DID. -NO, YOU DIDN'T.

YOU TOLD ME IN A TEXT MESSAGE WHEN I WAS GONE FROM THE HOUSE.

WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME, LIKE, BEFORE?

CHRISTIAN.

CHRISTIAN. CHRISTIAN.

PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO OUR CONVERSATION.

CHRISTIAN.

SO, ARE YOU GONNA TALK?

NOT REALLY.

YOU DON'T HAVE THAT OPTION. YOU DON'T HAVE THAT LUXURY.

THIS IS PART OF OUR LIFE.

ACTUALLY, I DO.

-NO, YOU DON'T, CHRISTIAN. -YEAH, I DO.

CHRISTIAN, STOP.

CHRISTIAN?

PLEASE.

CHRISTIAN, YOU NEED --

YOU OWE ME AN EXPLANATION OF WHAT'S GOING ON.

♪♪

♪♪

IT'S BEEN A MONTH SINCE CHRISTIAN LEFT,

AND I'VE BEEN TRYING TO PICK UP THE PIECES OF MY LIFE

SINCE THEN.

I HAVE NOT COME TO TERMS YET WITH THE SITUATION.

IT'S STILL VERY FRESH,

AND I HAVE NOT BEEN FOLLOWING MY DIET.

IT'S JUST BEEN TOO MUCH FOR ME,

AND I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO DO IT.

AT THIS POINT, IT'S BEEN TWO MONTHS SINCE I SAW DR. NOW.

I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING ON THE SCALE

AND HEARING WHAT DR. NOW IS GONNA SAY.

AND I HAVEN'T TOLD HIM WHAT'S HAPPENED

BETWEEN ME AND CHRISTIAN,

BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET ANY OF MY FAMILY

TO COME DOWN YET TO HELP ME.

MY AUNT SAID SHE'S TRYING TO COME DOWN.

BUT I'M WORRIED IF HE FINDS OUT,

HE'LL SAY I CAN'T DO THE PROGRAM WITHOUT SUPPORT.

I'VE GIVEN UP EVERYTHING TO DO THIS,

SO I CAN'T LOSE THIS CHANCE.

♪♪

MAJA.

AT MY LAST APPOINTMENT, I WAS AT 587.

AND DR. NOW WANTED ME TO LOSE 50 POUNDS

OVER THE NEXT MONTH.

BUT IT'S BEEN TWO MONTHS, SO I'M NOT SURE IF THAT MEANS

HE'S EXPECTING ME TO LOSE DOUBLE THAT.

BUT IF IT'S JUST THE 50 POUNDS,

IT WOULD BE MEAN I WOULD NEED TO BE AT 537.

BUT I DOUBT I DID THAT.

♪♪

♪♪

I FIGURED I WAS GAINING AGAIN,

SO THAT'S NOT MUCH OF A SURPRISE.

I DON'T THINK DR. NOW IS GONNA BE HAPPY ABOUT IT, THOUGH.

BUT HOPEFULLY, HE'LL BE UNDERSTANDING

OF WHAT I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH AND WON'T BE TOO MAD.

-HELLO. -HELLO.

-HOW ARE YOU TODAY? -GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

I'M DOING ALL RIGHT.

BUT I'M CONCERNED ABOUT YOU

BECAUSE YOU MANAGED TO GAIN 5 POUNDS THIS PAST MONTH.

-MM-HMM. -SO WHAT HAPPENED?

WELL, I'VE BEEN EMOTIONALLY EATING.

I NOTICE CHRISTIAN ISN'T HERE.

DOES THAT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH ALL THIS?

YES. HE DECIDED TO LEAVE ME.

I'M VERY SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

SO YOU'RE BY YOURSELF IN HOUSTON?

YEAH.

WELL, I KNOW THIS MUST BE HARD FOR YOU.

YEAH.

SO, HOW ARE YOU DOING NOW?

-NOT VERY WELL. -OKAY.

SO I TAKE IT YOU'RE STILL USING FOOD TO COPE.

WELL, I WANTED TO FEEL BETTER.

SO I WENT TO SUSHI, AND I WENT TO PIZZA,

AND I WENT TO PASTA.

SO, DID FOOD FIX YOUR SITUATION?

NO.

SO WHAT'S THE POINT, GOING BACK TO WHAT YOU KNOW IS HURTING YOU,

WHEN YOU HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND?

THERE WAS NONE.

I KNOW IT'S NOT EASY TO JUST SAY NO TO YOUR OLD HABITS.

BUT YOU DO HAVE OTHER OPTIONS EVERY SINGLE TIME

TO MAKE THE CHOICE NOT TO GIVE IN.

YOU CAN CALL US IF YOU NEED OUR HELP,

AND WE'LL GIVE IT TO YOU.OKAY.

YOU ALSO HAVE AN OPTION TO MAKE A CHOICE

THAT DOESN'T DAMAGE YOUR HEALTH.

SO NONE OF THIS IS AN ACCEPTABLE EXCUSE.

[ Crying ] I'M SORRY.

BUT I AM JUST...

♪♪

...STUPID.

Dr. Nowzaradan: AS SORRY AS I AM ABOUT WHAT MAJA IS GOING THROUGH,

MY CONCERN RIGHT NOW IS THAT HER CRYING

HAS LITTLE TO DO WITH ANY REGRET OVER THE CHOICES SHE'S MAKING.

IT'S SIMILAR TO WHEN YOU CATCH A KID

WITH THEIR HAND IN THE COOKIE JAR.

THEY MAY CRY, BUT IT IS BECAUSE THEY'RE UPSET

ABOUT THEIR SITUATION AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR CHOICES.

BUT THERE IS NO REGRET

OVER THE ACTUAL CHOICES THAT LED THEM THERE.

SO RIGHT NOW I DON'T SEE ANY EVIDENCE

THAT MAJA ACTUALLY WANTS TO CHANGE HER BEHAVIOR.

ALL RIGHT, MAJA, WHEN YOU TELL ME YOU WANT TO CHANGE,

ARE YOU TELLING ME THE TRUTH?

ALL RIGHT. THEN I'LL GIVE YOU ONE MORE CHANCE.

AND I'M GONNA SET YOU UP TO SEE A THERAPIST, OKAY,

TO SEE IF THEY CAN HELP YOU.

PSYCHOTHERAPY ISN'T GONNA TAKE AWAY ALL THE PAIN

AND STRUGGLE OF WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW.

BUT IF YOU'RE TELLING ME THE TRUTH

AND YOU'RE TRULY READY TO CHANGE,

THEN THEY CAN START TO GIVE YOU THE TOOLS

TO HELP YOU FIND HEALTHIER WAYS TO COPE.

THIS IS A PROCESS YOU'RE GOING TO NEED TO DO ANYWAY,

BUT WE'LL START IT NOW AND SEE HOW YOU DO.

BUT IF DON'T START MAKING THE PROGRESS YOU NEED AFTER THIS,

THEN I'LL KNOW THAT YOU WEREN'T REALLY TELLING ME THE TRUTH

ABOUT WANTING TO CHANGE.

YOU UNDERSTAND? YEAH.

SO THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE. AND YOUR GOAL IS STILL THE SAME.

LOSE 50 POUNDS OVER THE NEXT MONTH

IF YOU WANT TO SHOW ME YOU'RE SERIOUS

AND READY TO DO THIS AGAIN.

YOU HAVE TO DECIDE IF THIS IS WORTH YOUR LIFE OR NOT.

OKAY.

IF YOU NEED ANYTHING OR YOU'RE STRUGGLING, CALL ME, OKAY?

-OKAY. -I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS.

I HAVE ALREADY SEEN WHAT YOU'RE CAPABLE OF,

AND SO HAVE YOU.

-YES. -ALL RIGHT.

-I'LL SEE YOU IN A MONTH. -OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

♪♪

HOPEFULLY, MAJA IS TELLING ME THE TRUTH

ABOUT BEING READY TO DO WHAT SHE NEEDS

AND WILL TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY WITH THERAPY

TO START MAKING BETTER CHOICES

WITH WAYS TO DEAL AND COPE WITH HER EMOTIONS.

BUT IF SHE DOESN'T START DOING

WHAT SHE NEEDS TO GET BACK ON TRACK

AND CONTINUES TO CHOOSE SELF-DESTRUCTIVE WAYS,

THEN THERE WILL BE NOTHING MORE WE CAN DO FOR HER.

♪♪

Maja: I'M THANKFUL DR. NOW WANTS TO HELP ME GET THROUGH THIS.

BUT I STILL DON'T THINK HE UNDERSTANDS

HOW HARD THIS ALL IS FOR ME,

AND FOOD IS THE ONLY THING HELPING ME HOLD IT TOGETHER,

WITHOUT COMPLETELY LOSING IT AND FALLING APART.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Maja: I'M HEADED TO MY FIRST APPOINTMENT

WITH THE THERAPIST DR. NOW WANTS ME TO START SEEING.

I'M NOT SURE WHAT TO REALLY EXPECT,

BUT MY EXPECTATIONS ARE LOW.

I HAVE NO PROBLEMS DOING THIS,

AND I ACTUALLY THINK IT'LL BE GOOD TO TALK ABOUT HOW I FEEL.

SO I'M FINE WITH DOING THIS, BUT WHAT I DON'T REALLY SEE IS

HOW THIS IS GONNA MAKE MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE RIGHT NOW.

♪♪

-HELLO, MAJA? -HI. I'M MAJA.

-HI. NICE TO MEET YOU. -NICE TO MEET YOU.

I'M LOLA. WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, YOU CAN GO RIGHT ON IN

AND HAVE A SEAT ANYWHERE YOU'RE COMFORTABLE.

THANK YOU.

OKAY.

SO, MAJA, IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU.

IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

SO, TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT WHERE YOU'RE FROM.

WELL, I'M FROM PORTLAND, OREGON, BORN AND RAISED.

-MM-HMM. -UM, MY FAMILY IS SERBIAN.

AND I'M FIRST-GENERATION AMERICAN.

MM-HMM. WHAT BRINGS YOU IN TODAY?

WELL, I MOVED TO TEXAS TO BE A PART OF A WEIGHT-LOSS PROGRAM.

AND I MOVED DOWN HERE

WITH MY SPOUSE, PARTNER, BOYFRIEND, WHATEVER.

-AND WHAT'S HIS NAME? -HIS NAME IS CHRISTIAN.

AND HE JUST COULD NOT TAKE THE PRESSURE,

AND HE DECIDED IT WOULD BE BEST FOR HIM TO, UH, GO BACK HOME.

SO, MAJA, WHAT'D YOU FEEL LIKE

IN THE INSTANT WHEN CHRISTIAN MADE THE DECISION TO LEAVE YOU?

I FELT...

ANNIHILATED AND CRUSHED

THAT SOMEBODY I LOVE WOULD ABANDON ME LIKE THAT.

AND IT DID LEAD ME TO BE DEPRESSED,

AND I DID FEED MY DEPRESSION WITH FOOD.

AND THEN WHEN I HAD A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT, I GAINED WEIGHT.

SO, MAJA, IT SOUNDS LIKE I'M HEARING YOU SAY

THAT FOLLOWING CHRISTIAN'S EXIT,

YOU MINDFULLY AND WILLFULLY DECIDED

THAT YOU WOULD ENGAGE IN A BINGE.

-MM-HMM. -OKAY.

SO, MAJA, I'M INTERESTED TO KNOW,

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR BEHAVIOR IN ADULT RELATIONSHIPS?

THERE'S A LOT OF MOMENTS WHERE I'M NOT PROUD OF THE FACT

THAT I CAN BE VERBALLY ABUSIVE.

AND THAT ALSO -- THAT STEMS, I GUESS, FROM MY CHILDHOOD.

SO, MAJA, WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD, HOW WERE YOU TREATED?

THAT'S A LOT TO GET INTO.

UM, I HAVE A LOT OF ISSUES WITH BOTH OF MY PARENTS.

UM...

I HATE MY DAD.

[ SNIFFLES ]

SO, "HATE" IS A PRETTY STRONG WORD.

MM-HMM.

AND SO FOR YOU TO HAVE THAT DISTINCTION,

WHERE DOES THAT EMOTION COME FROM IN RELATION TO YOUR DAD?

HE WOULD COMMENT, "YOU'RE GETTING BIGGER."

IT'S LIKE, "WHAT IS YOUR GRANDMA DOING?

ALL SHE DOES IS FEED YOU."

AND AS TIME PROGRESSES,

IT'S LIKE, "ARE YOU GONNA FIT IN A CAR?"

YOU KNOW, THE QUESTIONING OR THE COMMENTARY FROM HIM

WAS JUST...

BRUTAL?

BECAUSE IT SOUNDS BRUTAL.

AND IT'S REALLY DAMAGING

FOR ANYONE TO BE RIDICULED ABOUT THEIR WEIGHT,

AND IT DIMINISHES YOUR SELF-WORTH.

AND SO HERE'S WHAT I WOULD SUGGEST.

YOU NEED TO HAVE A CONVERSATION, CALMLY AND RESPECTFULLY,

WHERE YOU TELL YOUR FATHER HOW HIS MALTREATMENT

HAS IMPACTED YOUR LIFE OVER THE YEARS...

AND OUTLINE FOR HIM

THE TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU DESIRE MOVING FORWARD.

I'M GONNA STRUGGLE WITH THIS BECAUSE IT'S LIKE,

WHAT BENEFIT WOULD I HAVE WITH THIS RELATIONSHIP?

AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW THE ANSWER

TO THAT QUESTION RIGHT NOW.

WHAT YOU WANT THE CONVERSATION FOR

IS SO THAT YOU CAN DEVELOP YOUR SELF-ESTEEM

AND DEVELOP A NEW WAY OF SAYING, "THIS IS WHAT I'M WORTH."

DO YOU FEEL LIKE THAT'S SOMETHING YOU CAN DO?

YEAH? OKAY.

SO, MAJA, FOR HOMEWORK, I WOULD LIKE TO SUGGEST

THINKING OF WAYS TO REPLACE EATING WITH DOING SOMETHING ELSE

TO REPLENISH YOUR SELF-WORTH AND BUILD YOURSELF.

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT THAT?

I CAN HANDLE THAT.

-YOU CAN HANDLE IT? -MM-HMM.

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO GIVE BACK TO MY COMMUNITY, YOU KNOW?

-SO YOU WANT TO BE A VOLUNTEER? -MM-HMM.

MAJA, I THINK THAT'S AN EXCELLENT IDEA.

SO IF IT'S SOMETHING YOU'VE ALWAYS WISHED FOR,

YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF TO EMBARK ON THAT.

BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY YOU'RE EVER GOING TO KNOW PEACE,

IS IF YOU LEARN TO LISTEN TO YOUR HEART.

MAJA, I FEEL REALLY ENCOURAGED.

♪♪

-REALLY? -YEAH.

I FEEL REALLY ENCOURAGED YOU'RE GOING TO BE JUST FINE.

[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]

I'M REALLY GLAD THAT YOU CAME TO SPEAK WITH ME TODAY.

MM-HMM. ME TOO.

-SO, THANK YOU. -THANK YOU.

♪♪

Maja: THAT WAS BETTER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE.

SHE HAD A LOT OF GOOD INSIGHTS.

BUT THE PATH SHE BASICALLY DESCRIBES IS SCARY,

BECAUSE I'D HAVE TO DO THINGS THAT I'VE NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED.

AND TO BE HONEST, I'M JUST NOT SURE I'M READY

OR CAPABLE OF SOME OF THAT RIGHT NOW.

BUT IT WAS ALL VERY ENLIGHTENING,

AND I DO WANT TO GET TO WHERE I NEED

AND CHANGE THE DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS I KNOW I HAVE.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'M WILLING TO DO THAT RIGHT NOW.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Maja: I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT SOME OF THE THINGS

LOLA AND I TALKED ABOUT, AND IT'S OVERWHELMING.

BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH I'M OPEN TO THE POSSIBILITY

OF BEING ABLE TO CHANGE,

THE THINGS I NEED TO DO TO GET THERE ARE TOO HARD FOR ME

AND ARE THINGS I'VE NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED DOING

IN MY WHOLE LIFE.

BECAUSE WHAT LOLA SAID LEADS TO ME HAVING TO TALK TO PEOPLE

WHO HAVE HURT ME IN WAYS I'VE USED FOOD TO DEAL WITH.

♪♪

AND I'VE DECIDED IT WOULD BE TOO MUCH FOR ME,

BECAUSE I'M NOT CAPABLE OF THAT RIGHT NOW.

♪♪

IT JUST MAY TAKE TIME FOR ME TO GET TO A PLACE

WHERE I CAN TAKE SOME OF THESE STEPS.

SO I'VE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT IT,

AND I JUST NEED TO FOCUS ON MYSELF RIGHT NOW.

AND THAT MEANS I'VE DECIDED I'M GONNA TAKE A BREAK

FROM DR. NOW'S PROGRAM.

I TALKED TO DR. NOW, AND HE WAS NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.

BUT I'M GOING TO KEEP WORKING HARD,

AND I TOLD HIM I'M NOT GONNA GIVE UP.

THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS MEANS.

I STILL WANT TO LOSE THE WEIGHT TO SAVE MY LIFE.

I JUST KNOW I CAN'T DO WHAT'S EXPECTED OF ME,

AND I NEED TO FIND A WAY TO GET TO THAT POINT.

THE FIRST BIG STEP I'M TAKING IS DOING VOLUNTEER WORK.

♪♪

-HI. -THANKS FOR HAVING ME.

OH, I'M THRILLED TO HAVE YOU HERE.

-YEAH. -YOU BROUGHT PRIZES.

THAT'S AWESOME. THE KIDS LOVE THEM.

THE PRIZE BASKET'S OVER HERE,

AND WE CAN JUST KIND OF TOSS THEM IN THERE.

THE BIGGEST THING LOLA SAID THAT RESONATED WITH ME

IS OWING IT TO MYSELF TO LISTEN TO MY HEART

ABOUT HOW I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO GO DO THINGS

THAT GIVE BACK TO THE COMMUNITY I'M IN.

LOLA SAID I CAN FIND PEACE BY LOOKING OUTSIDE MYSELF

AND DOING STUFF FOR OTHERS, AND I WANT TO DO THAT.

I'D LOVE TO HELP BLOW UP BALLOONS AND TIE THEM.

GO FOR IT. HERE'S MS. TRISH.

HI, TRISHA. I'M MAJA. NICE TO MEET YOU.

SO I'VE BEEN VOLUNTEERING TO HELP OUT

AT A LOT OF THINGS IN MY AREA,

AND TODAY I'M GOING TO HELP A GROUP

THAT THROWS BIRTHDAY PARTIES FOR KIDS WHO ARE HOMELESS.

AND I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THAT,

BECAUSE WHEN I SEE OTHER PEOPLE'S STRUGGLES,

NOT ONLY DO MINE FEEL SMALLER,

BUT I ALSO REALIZE THAT I'M NOT AS ALONE AS I FEEL.

♪♪

THIS IS YOUR WAY, YOU SAID, OF GIVING BACK?

-YEAH. -THAT'S AWESOME.

I JUST WANT TO MAKE KIDS HAPPY, YOU KNOW?

YEAH.

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO HAVE MY OWN KIDS, BUT I CAN'T.

-RIGHT. -AND I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO,

LIKE, FOSTERING OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

BUT MY SPOUSE LEFT ME, SO...

-OKAY. OH. -SO NOW I'M SINGLE.

OKAY.

Maja: IN A WAY, WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER,

NO MATTER WHAT WE'RE FACING.

SO SERVING OTHERS LIKE THIS

HAS BEEN AN INCREDIBLE AND WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE,

AND I FEEL LIKE IT'S HELPED ME IN A LOT OF WAYS.

BUT I KNOW I STILL HAVE A LONG WAYS TO GO

BEFORE I'M READY TO TAKE OTHER STEPS LIKE LOLA SAID.

I KNOW I CAN GET THERE,

AND I PLAN TO AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

BUT RIGHT NOW I NEED TO FOCUS

ON DOING WHAT I NEED ON THE INSIDE.

AND I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT

WHETHER I'VE SUCCEEDED OR FAILED

AND IF I'M GONNA HAVE A GOOD WEIGH-IN FOR DR. NOW OR NOT.

THIS ISN'T HOW I SAW IT IN MY HEAD --

MY LIFE AND WHERE IT WAS GOING.

NONE OF THIS TURNED OUT LIKE I THOUGHT IT WOULD.

MOVING TO HOUSTON WAS NOT JUST TO GET MY LIFE BACK FOR ME,

BUT TO HAVE A FUTURE AND A LIFE WITH CHRISTIAN.

BUT THAT'S NOT HAPPENING, EITHER.

SO NONE OF THIS HAS TURNED OUT LIKE I PICTURED IT.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME, YOU GUYS.

IT WAS WONDERFUL. THANK YOU AGAIN.

-IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU. -THANK YOU.

Woman: WE REALLY APPRECIATE YOU COMING.

YES, IT WAS WONDERFUL. THANKS, GUYS.

-THANK YOU. -THANK YOU.

-GOOD LUCK TO YOU, HONEY. -THANKS.

♪♪

Maja: I KNOW I HAVE A LONG WAYS TO GO STILL.

AND I'M EXCITED TO SEE WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS FOR ME,

EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT WHAT I PICTURED IT WOULD BE.

BUT I'M READY TO KEEP WORKING AS HARD AS I HAVE TO

TO GET TO WHERE I NEED,

SO I HAVE TO DO THIS

AND MAKE IT THERE, NO MATTER WHAT.

SO EVEN THOUGH I DECIDED THAT IT'S NOT RIGHT

FOR ME TO BE IN DR. NOW'S PROGRAM AT THIS POINT,

THIS IS NOT THE END.

I'M NOT GONNA REST UNTIL I GET THERE,

BUT IT JUST MAY TAKE TIME TO ULTIMATELY GET THERE.

BUT I AM NOT GONNA GIVE UP THIS WHOLE PROCESS OF LOSING WEIGHT,

BECAUSE I KNOW MY WHOLE LIFE DEPENDS ON IT.