All language subtitles for Mardi Gras Spring Break (2011) - Subtitles By Moneyboi

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,000 - Subtitles By Moneyboi - 2 00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:04,639 Why don't you tell us about your first Mardi Gras. 3 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:08,039 Well, it was the best Mardi Gras ever! 4 00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:10,599 When we met, over 60 years ago, I was... 5 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:13,519 It was the Rex Parade. I was in the Queen's court. 6 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:15,839 She was a beautiful princess. 7 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,079 Howie asked me to attend a ball with him later that week. 8 00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:20,839 I don't know what took him so long! 9 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:26,559 Well, I was nervous. I'd never seen such a beautiful creature, ever. 10 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,799 I didn't give up the pussy till the fifth date. 11 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:33,719 Kept me waitin' three weeks. I thought my balls were gonna explode! 12 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,479 They eventually did, all over my titties. 13 00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:39,599 Love those titties, honey. 14 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,839 There they are, winkin' at me again. 15 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:48,840 Sweetheart, I love you. 16 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,999 Hey! That's all of 'em. 17 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,439 Only one thing left to do. 18 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:21,999 You sure about this? 19 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,519 Nope. But if this doesn't work, 20 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:32,520 I don't know what else will. 21 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,079 God be with us. 22 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:38,959 The social environment in contrast to the natural environment 23 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:41,919 play�s a key role in self-perception. 24 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:44,719 Your notes need some love. 25 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:46,479 Your arm needs some love. 26 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:49,639 You know, that's not the only part of me that needs some love. 27 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,559 I hope we're thinking about the same part? 28 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:54,119 Otherwise what I have in mind could be incredibly awkward. 29 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:55,199 For both of us. 30 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,199 I think we're gonna be okay. 31 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,079 There's a study group at my apartment tonight. 32 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:00,199 Is your place quiet? 33 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:04,559 Should be. Doubt Bump and Scottie have anything going on. 34 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,279 Party! Big party tonight! 35 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:08,439 Oh, my God. 36 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,719 4029 Walnut! 37 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:14,039 Beer and chips! It's gonna be huge! 38 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:15,119 Yes! 39 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:16,759 Everyone's gonna get laid! 40 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:21,639 Rock on! 41 00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:23,639 -Did you know about this? -No. 42 00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:28,599 But it is definitely gonna get worse before it gets better. 43 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:32,759 Please! 44 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:33,839 I'll help. 45 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:35,199 -Where's the music? -It's not working. 46 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,319 -Do something! -Well, what am I supposed to do? 47 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:39,479 Figure it out! 48 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,639 Party tonight! Yeah, yeah. 49 00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:43,999 Gonna be sweet. Big party! 50 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,679 Fun times, right? Okay! 51 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:50,079 Rock on! 52 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:53,279 -Son of a bitch! -I got it! 53 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:54,719 What the fuck? 54 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:56,159 It won't turn off. 55 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:57,879 Why is that even on there in the first place? 56 00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,679 It's... It must've skipped to my bath mix. 57 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,279 You stupid bitch, do something! 58 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:03,959 This is embarrassing! 59 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:07,039 I'm freezing and my cock is so small! 60 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:14,040 I look like a goddamn hamster! 61 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:16,519 Fuck it. 62 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:18,759 Excuse me. Pardon me. 63 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,919 About how many of you are there in this row? 64 00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:22,719 Fifteen, is that something? 65 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:23,959 Gonna be beer! 66 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:27,159 Gonna be food, gonna be chicks, yeah! 67 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:28,799 -Hey, guys. -Bump. 68 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,639 Hey. Erica, so... 69 00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:32,919 We're having a big party 70 00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:35,159 and you know, you should bring all of your friends. 71 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:38,079 Only the hot ones! 72 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:40,599 Hey, so just take one and pass it down. 73 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:43,239 So I guess, it's not gonna be quiet at your place after all. 74 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:45,199 It's hard to say. 75 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:46,399 Oops. 76 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:47,959 Let me get that for you, sweetheart. 77 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:53,719 No! 78 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:55,599 How have you been able to put up with this since high school? 79 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:56,719 They're my best friends. 80 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:58,319 Think it might be time for an upgrade? 81 00:03:58,320 --> 00:03:59,839 Just in case somebody didn't get one, okay? 82 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,199 Yeah. 83 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,479 Don't forget! Free booze! 84 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:05,799 Gonna be the greatest party of all time! 85 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:12,759 This is the worst party of all time. 86 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,759 Okay, guys, think I'm gonna call it a night. 87 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:15,999 Maybe go kill myself? 88 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,559 Come on, Bump! Look on the bright side, man. 89 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,719 Least we got enough booze and food to last us the rest of the year. 90 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,519 This is bullshit! 91 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:24,679 We're second semester seniors, and look at us! 92 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:25,879 Well, what? What's wrong with us? 93 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:28,639 Not you, ''us.'' Us, ''us.'' 94 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,119 Yeah, the two of us who don't have an incredibly hot girlfriend 95 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:34,039 who's gonna come over and screw us any minute now. 96 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,399 Oh, come on! You guys don't have it so bad. 97 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,319 I mean, at least I've been laid. 98 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,919 Scottie's a goddamn virgin who talks to his cock. 99 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:42,279 Okay, leave Max out of this. 100 00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:45,919 I refuse to have a discussion with a grown man who calls his penis Max. 101 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:47,199 It's his name, what else would I call him? 102 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,799 A worthless appendage that gets no poon? 103 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,919 I don't know how our social lives at this college got 104 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,559 so shitty! 105 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:57,999 Well, maybe showing your anus to everyone in Behavioural Psych 106 00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,279 wasn't the best step forward. 107 00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:01,199 This sucks. 108 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:05,119 I don't know how life could get any worse. 109 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,559 Despair. Destruction. Desolation. 110 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:10,039 Thankfully New Orleans refused to give in to defeat, 111 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:11,599 and today the city thrives again. 112 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,239 Join us tomorrow night at 11:00 113 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:14,919 as our own J T LeBlanc 114 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,159 reports the rebuilding effort that continues there today 115 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:20,719 even as the city celebrates this festive Mardi Gras season. 116 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,759 That's it. That's what we have to do. 117 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,279 We should volunteer in the Lower Ninth Ward? 118 00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:27,399 Are chicks into that? 119 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,719 I'm talking about Mardi Gras. 120 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,279 This is the answer to all of our problems. 121 00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:33,399 I can't go to Mardi Gras. 122 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:37,359 I think you guys are missing the big picture here. 123 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:39,159 This is our chance 124 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:42,799 to make up for all of the ''almosts'' and ''never wases'' 125 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,519 of the last four years. 126 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,119 Do you know what I searched to get this page? 127 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:49,559 Mardi Gras! 128 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:51,959 This was the first page that came up. 129 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,879 Are we grasping that point? 130 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:55,839 Bump, look, I'd love to go. 131 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:59,079 I've got cousins that live down there. But I'm not gonna just bail on Erica. 132 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:02,079 Mike! You're our wingman! We need you. 133 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:03,319 No! 134 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:06,359 Look, you don't have to do it for me. 135 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,199 You don't even have to do it for Scottie. 136 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:09,439 But think about poor little Max, 137 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,839 a ship before its virgin voyage. 138 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:14,239 Dry docked. 139 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:15,799 Never even been wet before. 140 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,119 Not even its little head. 141 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,919 -It's not little! -Do it for Max. 142 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:21,959 Think of it 143 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,399 as Max's Mardi Gras. 144 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:28,119 The chicks! 145 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:29,639 My grandfather died. 146 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,319 Oh, my God, Erica! 147 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:36,439 I take it you came alone? 148 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:37,879 He meant so much to me. 149 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:39,039 I'll get a flight for the funeral. 150 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,599 No, no. I don't want you to do that. 151 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,599 I think I just need to be alone with my family. 152 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:44,759 Just for a couple days. 153 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:46,919 I understand. 154 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:48,479 Can I do anything? 155 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:53,399 You could give me a snuggle. 156 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:56,079 And you could TiVo American Idol? 157 00:06:56,080 --> 00:07:00,799 Now she wants everything. 158 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,479 You are always there for me. 159 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:04,479 I'm so glad that I have a boyfriend like you. 160 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:05,559 You're my rock. 161 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:07,479 That's my job. 162 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,359 -I love you. -I love you, too. 163 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:14,679 I love you, too, also. 164 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,079 I'm sorry for your loss. 165 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:20,759 Your family's in our prayers. 166 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:22,999 I'll text you. 167 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,879 This is fantastic! 168 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,239 Dude! Her grandfather died. 169 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,519 And she'll be gone for days! 170 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:33,919 Imagine a place, Michael, a magical place, 171 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:38,599 where a man and his beverage can walk the streets unaccosted. 172 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,999 Where drunk, hot chicks come standard, 173 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:44,079 and delicious boobies, they grow on trees. 174 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:45,759 You guys hear that music? 175 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,479 So what's it gonna be? 176 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:49,559 I'll go if you go. 177 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,799 If I go, and you tell Erica... 178 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:55,439 Like she'd believe a word I said anyway. Come on. 179 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,879 Well, I guess Scottie does need to get laid. 180 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:01,559 So? 181 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:08,560 -Let's go to Mardi Gras, boys! -Yes! 182 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:44,039 Sorry about that. 183 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:46,839 So, look, guys, I started mapping out a rough itinerary. 184 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:48,479 I... I was thinking 185 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,639 we could get tickets to the Preservation Hall Jazz Band, 186 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,719 and if we have time, I'd love to take an afternoon and go to the bayou. 187 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:57,679 There's this guy, Fred, who's renting out airboats that... 188 00:08:57,680 --> 00:09:02,359 Tits! 189 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,759 Wow, that hurricane was worse than I thought! 190 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:06,399 We've been lied to! 191 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:08,919 This city's not thriving! 192 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:13,999 Guys... 193 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,199 Hey, Mike, thanks for paying, bud. 194 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,519 -Did I have a choice? -No. No, you didn't. 195 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:19,839 But no worries, man. 196 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:22,319 These things are like heroin at Mardi Gras. 197 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:25,239 It's a strict jewels-for-boobs operation. 198 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:28,239 You give a girl beads, she shows you her delicious tits. 199 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:29,559 That's not cheating, right? 200 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:31,399 Last I checked, Mike, 201 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:33,639 seeing boobs wasn't cheating. 202 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:34,959 It was just plain incredible. 203 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,479 What the hell are those? 204 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:38,799 -Bush beads. -Bush beads? 205 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:42,199 They want these, they gotta show bush. 206 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:46,839 What's up with you, Scottie? You didn't buy anything. 207 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:48,679 Oh, my God! 208 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,239 Jesus Christ, what is that? 209 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:51,599 It was my grandmother's. 210 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:53,959 See, I don't need a suitcase full of plastic. 211 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,719 Just one special necklace for one special woman. 212 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:58,359 Gay! 213 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:00,439 So what's the deal, boys? Next stop, hotel? 214 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,399 No. We're going straight to Bourbon Street. Are you kidding me? 215 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,239 These guys have been drinking for days. 216 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:05,799 We got a lot of catching up to do, boys. 217 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,559 Next stop... 218 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:08,919 Paradise! 219 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:14,559 Hey, is this Mardi Gras? 220 00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:15,999 I think so! 221 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,279 What time does it start? 222 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:18,399 I don't really know! 223 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,399 It's a good thing we got all those beads, Bump. 224 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:23,959 You don't want used beads. It's classless. 225 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,559 Show your tits! 226 00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:28,119 Sorry, boys. We've just thrown a show down the street. 227 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:30,639 -A show? -I got beads! 228 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:32,919 Got it, I got it, I got it, I got it! 229 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:35,439 Damn it! 230 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:41,359 Oh, my God! 231 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,879 I'm fine. Thank you for asking. 232 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:45,679 Hey, listen. 233 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,639 I wouldn't be opposed to you earning them. 234 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,599 Hey, come on! 235 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,239 So, how does this work? 236 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:54,719 You give me these beads, I lift up my shirt, 237 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,959 you stare at my breasts and what, we call it a day? 238 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,679 Absolutely not. 239 00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:01,159 You lift your shirt, I stare at your breasts, 240 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,839 then I give you the beads and we call it a day. 241 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:04,479 Wow, was I born yesterday? 242 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,039 Nice try, but no. 243 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,679 Come on, Lame Girl. Quit being so lame. 244 00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:10,039 Listen, dickhead. 245 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:12,919 You think it's normal for a girl to sacrifice her dignity 246 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,759 for four cents worth of plastic? 247 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:18,439 Isn't that just a little ridiculous? 248 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:24,479 If I say yes, do I get to see your tits? 249 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:25,639 Fellows, huddle up. 250 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,279 AII right now, you brought me down here for a reason 251 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:28,359 and that's to have a good time. 252 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,439 So I think the best point of attack here is to... 253 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,759 Are you peeing? 254 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,679 You just pissed on my shoe, for Christ's sake! 255 00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:35,999 Well, I thought that that was why we were huddling. 256 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,479 Let me get this straight. So you won't take a shit in a public restroom, 257 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,159 but you'll piss in the middle of a crowded street? 258 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,159 I thought that's why we were huddling. 259 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,119 Bad Scottie! No! 260 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,999 Look, the best course of action is to go straight down Bourbon Street... 261 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,759 I found her! 262 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,879 Where's Scottie going? 263 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,079 Shit on my tits! 264 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,599 That is Carmen Electra. 265 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:59,199 Hi. 266 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,999 Oh, my God! 267 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,719 Wow, these are really beautiful. 268 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:03,959 They're real. 269 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,199 So are mine. 270 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,159 You're the one. 271 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:13,719 Aren't you cute! Thank you. 272 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,159 What the hell just happened? 273 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,519 Did you just ask Carmen Electra to see her tits? 274 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:18,599 That was Carmen Electra? 275 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,119 I gave her my necklace! 276 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,559 Your only necklace? 277 00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:23,919 You just blew your entire load on Carmen Electra? 278 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,119 Yeah! 279 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,399 Relax, buddy. It's gonna be all right. 280 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:28,679 At least you can say 281 00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:31,959 that you gave Carmen Electra a pearl necklace, right? 282 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,079 I think that the best thing to do here is to 283 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,919 warm up to these girls a little bit, to get to know them... 284 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,679 -What the hell are you doing? -Nothing. 285 00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:39,879 Do you have insurance for this? 286 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:46,880 Boobs! 287 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,799 I gotta admit, it's awesome to see a strange girl's breasts. 288 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,279 I'd crawl a mile on broken glass 289 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,679 to suck the dick that fucked her last. 290 00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:59,679 Shakespeare couldn't have said it better. 291 00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:00,759 That's it. 292 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:01,839 Snuggle bear? 293 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:05,919 That's Erica! Code blue! 294 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:12,759 Scottie, let's go! 295 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:13,839 I don't understand. 296 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:15,999 Whoa! Guests only, folks. Need wrist bands. 297 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,079 Okay. 298 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,159 I just don't understand... 299 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:19,319 -Just keep moving! -I don't understand! 300 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,679 Mike, you get to see those every night? 301 00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:24,919 Why isn't she picking up her phone, what the hell? 302 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,759 Hey, good extraction. Clean and effective. 303 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:28,839 It couldn�t have been her, right? 304 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,959 I mean, you know, Lots of people have a similar look. 305 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,079 How could she do this? 306 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:36,799 With her grandfather barely in the ground. 307 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:37,919 Right. 308 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,199 There's gotta be a good explanation, right? I mean, I'm sure there is. 309 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,919 Yes. Erica is a lying whore. 310 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:43,199 With an amazing rack. 311 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,319 Shut up! 312 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,679 We're gonna get my car, go back to our room, 313 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:48,599 and find out exactly what hotel she's staying at. 314 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:51,559 That's gonna be a problem. 315 00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:54,039 Where the hell is my car? 316 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:57,239 Damn it! My bush beads were in there! 317 00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:59,159 And your car... 318 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:00,839 Maybe we're on the wrong street? 319 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,439 No, no, no, no, we definitely parked here. 320 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:08,879 I distinctly remember that fire hydrant. 321 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:10,599 Oh, great. 322 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,679 Three more drunk college kids. 323 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:16,559 Actually, we're not drunk. We just need to check in. It's under Smith. 324 00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:18,719 Well, I'm not finding anything. 325 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:20,559 When did you make the reservations? 326 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,319 Just yesterday. 327 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,279 We have been booked solid for six months. 328 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,399 Listen, Barry, 329 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:33,719 it's spelled S-M-I-T-H. 330 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:34,799 Nope. 331 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,479 Bump... 332 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:38,839 Tell me you didn't drag me down here without a reservation. 333 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:41,799 Scottie, buddy, I gave you one thing to do. 334 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:44,239 Please tell me that you didn't screw that up. 335 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:47,119 No, I swear. It's all right here, okay? 336 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,999 The Chateau Burgundy, three nights, three people, room 745! 337 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,879 745? That's impossible. 338 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:57,559 We only have three floors. 339 00:14:57,560 --> 00:15:01,199 -Well... -Guys... 340 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,199 You must mean 7:45 p.m. 341 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:07,359 But feel free to confirm with the maitre d'. 342 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,239 You made a goddamn dinner reservation? 343 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:10,999 Okay, Mike. Obviously, you're a little upset. 344 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,079 Let me handle this, all right, buddy? 345 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,879 You made a goddamn dinner reservation? 346 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,999 Well, if you want to get technical, I made three goddamn dinner reservations. 347 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,279 That sucks! 348 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,159 How do you think I feel? Where am I gonna take a dump? 349 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:22,119 Where are we gonna sleep? 350 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:26,919 I'll call my cousins. 351 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:27,999 ''Mailbox full.'' 352 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,599 AII right, look, let�s think about this logically, okay? 353 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,439 We're three kids from strong, middleclass suburban homes, 354 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:41,440 obviously we're not gonna end up sleeping in some random alley. 355 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,319 -Jesus! -Morning. 356 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,079 Morning, gents! How'd we all sleep? 357 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:55,159 Where the hell were you? 358 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,039 I was picking up your car and I got a cup of Joe. 359 00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,999 Want a sip? It really takes the alley right out of you. 360 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,639 Guys! 361 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:01,919 I think it's time to go. 362 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:02,999 What? 363 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,319 I'm not having a good time, 364 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,079 and I'm not wading through a million people to find Erica. 365 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,239 So let�s just get in my car and go back to school. 366 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,519 Scottie. Buddy, come on, help me out here. 367 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,199 I don't know, this vacation kinda blows. 368 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,399 I see, we have a little setback 369 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,919 and suddenly everybody's ready to pack it in? 370 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,359 It's shaping up to be more than just a little setback, Bump. 371 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,239 Look, I will be the first to admit that yesterday was not ideal. 372 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,319 Carmen Electra robbed Scottie of a family heirloom, 373 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:26,199 and Mike, your girlfriend showed half of Louisiana her breasts. 374 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,079 Her wonderful, glorious breasts. 375 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:29,199 I'm done. 376 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,759 Mike, I know how you feel! 377 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,799 Because how you feel right now is how Scottie and I feel every single day. 378 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:35,719 Well, not every day. 379 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,959 Some days. Mostly on the weekends when people are hanging out and... 380 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,759 We brought you out here because we needed you, 381 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:42,199 and now you need us! 382 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:46,599 Look, I admit, at the moment things feel pretty shitty. 383 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:49,319 But remember how we felt yesterday? 384 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,959 When we saw those breasts? 385 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,039 -You mean, Erica's breasts? -No! 386 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,319 Before they were Erica's breasts! 387 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,319 When they were just the two most 388 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,079 beautiful mounds we've ever laid our eyes on. 389 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,319 Okay, can we just stop talking about my girlfriend's breasts, please? 390 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:03,399 Your ex-girlfriend. 391 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:06,159 I'm talking about a feeling, Mike. 392 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:09,599 A fleeting moment of Zen. We can get that back! 393 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:10,799 We just need to work together. 394 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,639 Sure, we can go back to college, finish it out, 395 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,839 graduate in three months and never know any better than this. 396 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:16,319 There's that music again. 397 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,159 What if we didn't go back? 398 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,439 What if we vow not to go back 399 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,759 until we made Mardi Gras our own personal playground? 400 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:24,879 What song is that? 401 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,439 Scottie, buddy, what do you want more than anything else in this world? 402 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:28,879 Carmen Electra. 403 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:30,639 Let's not limit our sample size, okay? 404 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:34,279 Mike! Besides a time machine and a shotgun, 405 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:35,799 what do you want the most? 406 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,199 Nothing? Not gonna help me? Okay. 407 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,599 'Cause I know what I want. 408 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,399 I wanna make my mark! 409 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:44,759 I want to rock the greatest party in the world! 410 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,439 I wanna make Mardi Gras my bitch! 411 00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:49,359 Look, giving up is not an option. 412 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,359 I say we stay! 413 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,679 I say we conquer! 414 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:58,039 I say, by midnight Fat Tuesday, no matter what happens, 415 00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:01,759 we're gonna be partying on one of those sweet-ass Bourbon Street balconies! 416 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:02,959 How the hell are we gonna do that? 417 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,399 Are you with me? 418 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,479 I'll do anything to stop the fucking music, okay? 419 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:11,239 Mike, please, trust me. I'm not gonna let you down. 420 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,719 I don't know, man. 421 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:19,679 I didn't want to have to do this. Scottie, show him. 422 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:20,759 You taped it? 423 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:21,919 I had to. 424 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:23,239 You see what she's doing there? You see that? 425 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:25,839 She's gonna be doing that every day, every night, 426 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,879 and then again, all day tomorrow. 427 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:28,959 Especially this part. 428 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,079 What kind of pep talk is this? 429 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,519 Look at that smile on her face. 430 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,359 She's so content, she's so happy. 431 00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:40,360 You need to have that smile. 432 00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:43,439 It's 7:00 a.m. 433 00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:47,399 Where can we get a goddamn drink? 434 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,399 Bottoms up! 435 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,319 You're gonna get a disease. 436 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:54,199 Yeah, it's called alcoholism, I should be so lucky. 437 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,599 Bump, maybe you should slow down. 438 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,519 Maybe you should start drinking. 439 00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:04,279 That's disgusting. You're drinking garbage. 440 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:06,879 A quarter. I'm actually making money. 441 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:07,959 You're an imbecile. 442 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,079 Okay, prima donnas, you got a better idea how to get drunk at 7:00 a.m.? 443 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:14,839 I'd love to hear it. 444 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,199 Elitists! 445 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,119 Getting an early start, boys? 446 00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:21,159 You guys are pussies! 447 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:28,160 They wouldn�t drink the trash! 448 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,799 I think I'm gonna be sick. 449 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,599 Well, pussies, let�s get your cat up. 450 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,039 House drinks. 451 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,319 Got to love the Hurricane. 452 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,399 Well, on some level, exposing 453 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,479 the flaws and capabilities of our emergency... 454 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:42,999 Scottie! The drink! 455 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,439 You'd think they'd change the name! 456 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,439 Hey! Where you going? 457 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:47,999 Alpha dog, Mike. 458 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,319 Leader of the pack. 459 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,959 If we're gonna be the guys on the balcony, 460 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,919 we gotta show this city what's what! 461 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:59,319 I'm gonna hustle the shit out of these guys like Paul Newman and Woody Harrelson. 462 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,359 I'm pretty sure they were never in a movie together. 463 00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:03,759 You shitheads think you can play pool? 464 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:05,679 I'm like Harrelson, baby! 465 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,959 You should probably take it easy with these. 466 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:14,960 I had a rough night. 467 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:26,720 Why is this called the ''Hand Grenade''? 468 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:42,559 Hey, welcome back! 469 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,239 You've been out cold for two hours! 470 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,359 -Two hours? -Yeah! 471 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:50,359 People just left me here on the stool? 472 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:57,360 Actually, no, no, no, no. Check it out. 473 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:08,799 Oh, Jesus! 474 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:12,079 I need some air! 475 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:13,479 Hey, it's Mike! 476 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:20,480 Hey, everybody, Mike's up. 477 00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:25,639 Erica? 478 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:27,879 How's your dead grandfather doing? 479 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,079 Oh, my God! 480 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,079 Wow! That's the best pickup line I've heard all week. 481 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,359 Oh, my God. 482 00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:36,719 This is... I'm so... 483 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:37,999 No, no, no, don't be. 484 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,919 So, what? I ask you about a dead relative 485 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:41,519 and then we just totally make out? 486 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:45,999 Mike. I need to borrow 1,000 bucks. 487 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,439 I can give you $18. 488 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:48,959 Close enough! 489 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,279 How do you do, madam? 490 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:53,199 Well, aren't you chivalrous! 491 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:57,799 I have no idea what that means, but yes. It's quite long and big around, too. 492 00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,639 So, I'm guessing Mike's already told you about his girlfriend? 493 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:00,839 Bump, we literally just met. 494 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:01,919 No worries. 495 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,559 I'm pretty sure she's not his girlfriend for much longer. 496 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,319 She lied to him, 497 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,239 and showed her tits to all of New Orleans. 498 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,319 Hey, don't you have a game to get to? 499 00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:13,479 Yeah! Got these guys right where I want 'em! 500 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,959 For Joe-boy and Dante! 501 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:19,599 So, I hear your girlfriend lied and showed her tits to all of New Orleans? 502 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,079 Where'd you hear that? 503 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:23,199 I'm sorry. That sucks. 504 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,199 Yeah, but I was asking for it. 505 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,279 Yeah, at Christmas I hooked up with her sister. 506 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:28,359 Wow, really? 507 00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:30,519 No! Actually I made a fruit salad. 508 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,679 And I took her nieces carolling. 509 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:34,159 Well, now it makes sense. 510 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,119 I mean, she's upset to find out you're gay. 511 00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:39,279 Yeah. Some women just don't appreciate a good gay man. 512 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,079 No, they don't. They definitely don't. 513 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:43,999 But you know, it could have been worse. 514 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,919 You could've found your boyfriend in bed with his Russian Lit TA. 515 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:48,399 So... 516 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,319 I'm not actually gay. 517 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:53,599 Yeah, I was talking about my boyfriend, genius. 518 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:55,319 Wow, you're slow! 519 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:56,879 I kinda like that in a man. 520 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:58,679 Ouch! 521 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,879 Anyways, my friends� figure Mardi Gras will cheer me up. 522 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,559 You know, getting drunk and naked is the cure. 523 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:08,399 Well, in that case my girlfriend�s definitely on the mend. 524 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:09,919 Come on, we're going. 525 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,359 They're dragging me to the Frat House. 526 00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:13,439 What's the Frat House? 527 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:18,519 Only the ultimate destination for incredible bar contests and half-price beers. 528 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:20,839 Well, have a good time. 529 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,439 Thanks. Lucy. Mills. 530 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,039 -I'm... I'm... -Mike. 531 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:32,040 Yep. I got it. 532 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:38,359 Those gentlemen take the game of billiards very seriously. 533 00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:39,719 What happened with your chick? 534 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:41,959 I don't know. She and her friends took off. 535 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,199 What? You blew it! 536 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,039 You do realise that entire conversation 537 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,679 was an I-wanna-potentially- sit-on-your-face interview, right? 538 00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:49,759 Really? 539 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:50,839 Well, what're you looking at me for? 540 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:52,319 I don't have any business being in this conversation. 541 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:54,159 Mike! You've gotta snap out of it! 542 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:57,199 If Erica's gonna show her tits to everyone and probably blow a bunch of dudes, 543 00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:00,399 then there's no reason for you to be turning down fine tail like that. 544 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,159 You need to have fun! 545 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:03,439 I need to shower. 546 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:04,519 Great idea! 547 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:08,639 You guys go find a room, get changed, go put your game faces on, 548 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:09,719 I'll get us a bunch of chicks. 549 00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:13,679 We'll meet up in an hour and rock this town like a hurri... 550 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:15,319 Like a thunderstorm. 551 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,999 During Mardi Gras? 552 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,999 Yeah, right! Hey, Larry. 553 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,279 Now listen to what they just asked me. 554 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:29,879 Ask me again. Go on. 555 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:31,279 We were wondering... 556 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:36,079 AII right, hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me get a straight face. 557 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,919 We were wondering... 558 00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,279 No. 559 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:45,719 During Mardi Gras. 560 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:52,720 Hey, ask me again, come on. 561 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,159 Hey, are you the guys that asked about the vacant room? 562 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,639 -Yeah. -Yeah. Can you help us out? 563 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:05,640 That's really funny, douche bag. 564 00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:24,840 Like eating fish in a barrel. 565 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:32,239 Ladies. 566 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,119 Let's see what we got here, huh? 567 00:25:35,120 --> 00:25:36,439 Sir, may I take your order? 568 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:39,439 Give me a Party Platter. 569 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,999 After all, I do like to party. 570 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:46,199 Sir, the Party Platter is recommended for groups of six or more. 571 00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,559 -Lame Girl? -Dickhead? 572 00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,599 What're you doing here? 573 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:54,759 So you like, live at Mardi Gras? 574 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,559 That's awesome! 575 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,879 As you can see, I've added to my collection. 576 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:02,639 If you see one that you like, I definitely see two that I like. 577 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,199 Aren't you cute? 578 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,639 I remember my first beer, too. 579 00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:08,159 I'll be right back with your order. 580 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:09,519 So! 581 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,999 I'm guessing three beautiful ladies such as yourselves 582 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,999 could use someone to show them a good time. 583 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,479 Hey, right? 584 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:16,559 Here you go. 585 00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:17,639 Diet soda? 586 00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:18,799 Tell you what. 587 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,559 If I polish these babies off in five minutes or less, 588 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:21,679 you give me your number? 589 00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:28,680 And how are either one of those scenarios attractive to me? 590 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,879 They say these things are aphrodisiacs. 591 00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:41,999 It's totally working, by the way. 592 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,999 The three of you are giving me one hell of a giant boner. 593 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:50,799 Giant. 594 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:53,799 Wow. Still batting a thousand, Romeo. 595 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,159 Listen, Lame Girl, by Fat Tuesday all the beautiful ladies in this city 596 00:26:57,160 --> 00:27:00,399 are gonna be lining up for a piece of Bartholomew T. Brown. 597 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:04,359 Look, I say this out of compassion. 598 00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:06,079 Guys like you, 599 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:09,679 you come down here desperate for attention, eager to overcompensate 600 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,519 for whatever meagre existence you have in college. 601 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:14,479 I see it every day. 602 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,239 And it always ends badly. 603 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:19,119 Trust me. 604 00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:20,199 Point taken. 605 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:27,200 Challenge accepted. Game on. 606 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:37,639 Mike, I really gotta go to the bathroom. 607 00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,759 Max just went at the last hotel. 608 00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:41,119 Jesus, now you've got me doing it. 609 00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:44,759 Well, it's not Max this time, it's... 610 00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:47,519 You don't have a name for your ass? 611 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,359 Who names their ass? 612 00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:51,959 This is the place from last night. 613 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:58,519 Well, maybe they had a cancellation or something. 614 00:27:58,520 --> 00:27:59,599 Hey. 615 00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:03,279 A little early for your dinner reservation, gentlemen. 616 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:04,519 We figured it was a long shot, 617 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,599 but we just wanted to see if any rooms had opened up. 618 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,879 Let me just check. 619 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:10,959 No. 620 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,079 The baby's head is starting to crown. 621 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:16,119 Excuse me, sir, can you point me towards your nearest bathroom? 622 00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:18,079 The bathrooms are for guests only. 623 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:19,439 Please, it's... It's an emergency. 624 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:20,959 Then I suggest you call 91 1 . 625 00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:23,439 You don't understand. This could do irreparable damage 626 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,559 to my lower intestinal... 627 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:30,999 -Meet me out front in 20. -Hey! 628 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:34,119 Get back, don't... 629 00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:35,399 Security. 630 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:36,999 One or two? 631 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:43,559 Definitely number two. 632 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,039 Hello. Are my eyes deceiving me 633 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:49,039 or are you two dead ringers for the Olsen twins? 634 00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:52,439 No fighting over who gets to be Mary-Kate. 635 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,079 How about letting me have a sip of your drink? 636 00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:57,199 Please, by all means. 637 00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:58,799 Hey, Mike! Perfect timing. I was just thinking 638 00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:00,559 that the four of us should continue this conversation... 639 00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:03,279 What's going on here? 640 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:04,359 We should probably just go. 641 00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:05,999 No, no, no, bud. Let me handle this. 642 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,559 Hey, listen, pal. 643 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:08,999 You're ruining our game. 644 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,759 Can't you see my boy and I are working these girls? 645 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:13,999 You're ''working them.'' 646 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:15,119 Big time. 647 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:19,759 We're trying to, you know, do them. 648 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:23,319 Look, there's three sausages and two ovens. 649 00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:24,559 You do the math, big guy. 650 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,279 They are 15 and 16, for God's sake! 651 00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:28,639 Three days we've been here, 652 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:31,839 and you're the 100th college guy who's tried to get in my daughters' pants! 653 00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:33,999 Daughters? 654 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,399 Did it work for any of them? 655 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,159 I've got a good mind to check out of our hotel and go home right now! 656 00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:39,279 Daddy, no! 657 00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,679 Your dad's right! 658 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:44,799 This is no place for girls your age. 659 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:48,279 You don't need to deal with jerks like this harassing your daughters all week. 660 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:49,559 And look at him, he's a slob. 661 00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:51,159 If I were you, 662 00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:52,279 I'd get out of here, too. 663 00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,839 And you! You owe this man an apology! 664 00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,719 He is obviously a responsible parent, 665 00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,759 who understands that impressionable young ladies 666 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:07,399 should not be exposed to what is going on here on Bourbon Street. 667 00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:09,679 I'm... 668 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:11,719 Sorry? 669 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:13,199 Come on, girls, let�s go. 670 00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:14,559 And thank you. Come on! 671 00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:17,519 Daddy... 672 00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:18,919 What the hell was that? 673 00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:25,920 Watch and learn. 674 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:42,960 We�ll need turndown service later. Thank you. 675 00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:07,239 Holy shit. 676 00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:11,519 What're the odds? 677 00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:15,399 Well played, Michael. 678 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:16,919 Checking out early, sir? 679 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:18,159 Not early enough. 680 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:25,160 Well, I'm sorry to hear that. 681 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:27,159 Hello? 682 00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:28,559 You're never gonna guess whose room I'm in. 683 00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:30,799 -You're in someone's room? -Yeah. 684 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:32,959 Come on, guess. 685 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:34,999 You'll never get it in a million years. 686 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:36,959 Tell me it's not Carmen Electra. 687 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:38,159 Yeah. How did you know that? 688 00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:39,799 Because she just walked into the hotel. 689 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:41,799 What hotel? This hotel? 690 00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:43,239 Finish up and get the hell out of there! 691 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:44,639 Done and done. 692 00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:46,239 Please do come back, visit us again. 693 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:51,439 Don't count on it. 694 00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:58,440 I believe you have a vacancy? 695 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:00,479 Dude, what's up? 696 00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:02,399 -It won't flush. -What? 697 00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:05,479 There is a turd the size of a Norwegian cruise ship 698 00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:07,759 stranded in the toilet and it won't flush! 699 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:08,839 Okay, relax. 700 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:10,839 How am I supposed to relax? It's Carmen Electra! 701 00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:12,319 Jiggle the handle. 702 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:13,799 Don't you think I tried that? 703 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:19,399 How are they gonna know it's yours? Just get the hell out of there! 704 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:20,959 It's getting so hot out there! 705 00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:22,599 I know! 706 00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:29,600 I can't believe how far we had to walk. 707 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:46,919 Holy Mary, Mother of Christ... 708 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:53,920 We should wash up before the next parade. 709 00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:07,679 -I'm gonna go take a quick shower. -Okay. 710 00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:09,999 I think the maid used our bathroom. 711 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:17,000 Gross! 712 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:43,719 Dominique, do you have the soap? 713 00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:50,720 Yeah, it's right here. 714 00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:11,079 Don't use all the hot water. I want to take a quick shower, too. 715 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,799 I'll try, but you know how bad these showers are. 716 00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:20,800 I'll just jump in with you. 717 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:26,639 Gee, it's hot! 718 00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:27,879 That's nice. 719 00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:29,239 Don't get my hair wet. 720 00:34:29,240 --> 00:34:30,319 Will you wash my back? 721 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:33,879 -Sure. -Thanks. 722 00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:36,959 Your hands are so soft. 723 00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:38,919 I wish I had your boobs. 724 00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:42,879 Oh, stop it. Your boobs are gorgeous! 725 00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:45,639 But yours are so perky. 726 00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:50,399 Thanks, but I'd kill for that ass. 727 00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:57,400 Not now, Max. 728 00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,839 I trust you had yourself a fine time trespassing. 729 00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:16,399 I am so very sorry. 730 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,479 If I see you again, 731 00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:21,839 rest assured I will be calling the authorities. 732 00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:22,919 Okay. 733 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:26,279 Aren't you forgetting something? 734 00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:28,039 That towel. 735 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:30,839 That's hotel property. 736 00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:32,199 You do not want this towel. 737 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,119 I most certainly do. 738 00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,279 -No, no, you do not want that towel! -I want that towel! 739 00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:37,639 -Just give me that towel. -You don't! 740 00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:40,919 I will have that towel, sir... 741 00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:47,920 I will have the towel! 742 00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:02,279 I'll show myself out. 743 00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:05,159 Well, there's no sweet-ass balcony, 744 00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:08,879 but you gotta admire the craftsmanship of the bricks. 745 00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:11,279 We got showers and beds! 746 00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:15,759 It's fantastic! Did Scottie call? 747 00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:19,079 Are you kidding me? 748 00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:23,319 God damn it! 749 00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,079 What's wrong? 750 00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,159 Get cleaned up, buddy boy. 751 00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,519 We're going out. 752 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:33,599 Who are you and what have you done with Mike? 753 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:40,600 Showtime. 754 00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:51,439 I don't even wanna know. 755 00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:52,799 Dude, get out of there. 756 00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,359 Something in that fountain smells like shit! 757 00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:57,359 Hurry up. Dry off. 758 00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:00,839 Got somewhere to be. 759 00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:07,840 Did you guys shower? 760 00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,959 Okay, people, we're about to start another contest. 761 00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:17,439 Win passes to the hottest party in town! 762 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,559 All teams to the stage. It's the Maxim Party! 763 00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:21,879 You don't wanna miss this. 764 00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,519 We don't want to miss this! 765 00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:26,279 It only happens once a year, 766 00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,719 and this is your chance to get in on the action! 767 00:37:28,720 --> 00:37:32,719 This is gonna be the biggest party ever with all the hottest guys and girls. 768 00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:34,279 You don't wanna go home and tell your friends 769 00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:36,359 that you didn't have a kick-ass Mardi Gras, do you? 770 00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:39,479 Don't miss this opportunity to party like a rock star 771 00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,639 at the most exclusive event in the city. 772 00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:44,119 It's the Maxim Party! 773 00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:47,239 All teams sign up with Zane at the front of the stage! 774 00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:49,719 Hey, sailor, what brings you to the ultimate destination 775 00:37:49,720 --> 00:37:51,799 for incredible bar contests? 776 00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:53,159 And half-price beers. 777 00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,359 Actually, I'm looking for the girl I've been stalking. 778 00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:56,559 She said she'd be here. 779 00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:58,959 Well, maybe you can buy me a drink till she shows up. 780 00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:02,359 Can't talk. Max has gotta pee. Hi. 781 00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:03,439 So that's Scottie. 782 00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:05,999 -Who is Max? -It's his penis. 783 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,039 What, you and your friends don't refer to your... 784 00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:09,359 Vaginas. 785 00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:10,559 Mike, it's cool! 786 00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:12,759 AII women name their vaginas. It's endearing. 787 00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:13,879 Really? 788 00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:15,319 No! It's creepy and weird. 789 00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:17,319 Why would we do that? 790 00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:20,399 Who can drink more beer than me? 791 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:21,519 No one! 792 00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:24,679 Who's more amazing at life than I am? 793 00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:27,519 No one! 794 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:30,319 Hey, Mike! 795 00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:32,159 We've been friends since ninth grade. 796 00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:33,839 Really? That's great. 797 00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:34,919 Yeah. 798 00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:36,319 You know, good friends are hard to come by. 799 00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:40,079 Apparently they're also creepy, weird, and really loud. 800 00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:41,399 What'll it be, guys? 801 00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:42,479 Two of your largest, bluest 802 00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:46,159 and most ridiculous umbrella-laden drinks, preferably on fire. 803 00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:47,319 How did you know my drink? 804 00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:49,119 Everybody loves the Flaming Lucy. 805 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:50,439 Bump did something stupid. 806 00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:51,599 And that would surprise me because... 807 00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:53,519 All right, one last entry! 808 00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:55,719 Please welcome to the stage 809 00:38:55,720 --> 00:39:00,639 Bump, Scottie, and Mike! 810 00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:03,079 Come on! Maxim Party! 811 00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,719 All the hot girls for Mardi Gras are gonna be there. 812 00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:08,199 Remember. Free drinks, hot music 813 00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:12,359 and, of course, the special guest host is Carmen Electra! 814 00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:15,279 We're doing this! We're doing this! Let's go! 815 00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:17,479 Well? 816 00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:19,719 I don't really do this sort of thing. 817 00:39:19,720 --> 00:39:23,159 You know, I'm really more the safe guy than the crazy guy. 818 00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:27,239 Well, that's too bad, 'cause the girls and I are going to that party. 819 00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:28,959 But, no, you play it safe. That sounds fun. 820 00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:35,960 Check out yesterday's winner for a preview of the action. 821 00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:45,279 Lucy. 822 00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:46,559 Meet Erica. 823 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:50,039 Erica, Lucy. 824 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,519 Looks like I have a contest to win. 825 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:55,599 Yeah, Mike! 826 00:39:55,600 --> 00:40:02,600 Let the Wet T-shirt Olympics begin! 827 00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:06,439 I'm feeling sexy now! 828 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:08,439 All right, neck to neck. 829 00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:11,559 If you drop the orange, you're out! 830 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,039 Go! 831 00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:18,279 To your right. No, to your other right. 832 00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:21,319 Something still smells like shit. 833 00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:28,320 Now it's getting hot. 834 00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:33,199 We have a drop. 835 00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:36,359 Sorry, ladies. 836 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:41,119 Yeah! 837 00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:43,119 Sorry, ladies. 838 00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:48,759 Three teams left. On to round two. 839 00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:53,439 Show us your tits, show us your tits... 840 00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:56,119 Now we are partying! 841 00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:57,959 I don't wanna show 'em my tits. 842 00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:00,319 Relax. Now, when we're passing the orange next time... 843 00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:02,759 Bring out the cherries! 844 00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:03,959 This is gonna be bad. 845 00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:05,439 Mouth to mouth! 846 00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:07,119 Slowest team walks. 847 00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:10,599 Go! 848 00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:13,359 Well, the girls are off to an early lead. 849 00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:15,559 Our guys seem to be lagging behind. 850 00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,559 Thank God! 851 00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:19,199 The guys are going for it. 852 00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:22,119 Grab it! Suck it out of my goddamn mouth. 853 00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:23,879 Come on, girls, please don't let us down. 854 00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:27,479 We need you! 855 00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:31,439 Oh, Jesus! 856 00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:33,559 We have a drop. Great! 857 00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:35,879 Another team of girls eliminated. 858 00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:42,880 God bless America! 859 00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:53,359 Oh, come on! 860 00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:59,399 Two teams left. Three beautiful ladies... 861 00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:02,999 And three stupid losers who are ruining this for everyone. 862 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:06,519 Don't you listen to that glorified carnie. We got this in the bag! 863 00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:08,679 You know this is gonna be a great party! 864 00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:11,679 VIP entry. Bottomless drinks. 865 00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:16,399 Speaking of bottomless, I think it's time to take it up a notch! 866 00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:18,959 I told you this was gonna be hot, didn't I? 867 00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:21,519 Now this is more like it! 868 00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:24,239 What kind of misogynist contest is this? 869 00:42:24,240 --> 00:42:25,559 Look, there's no shame in quitting. 870 00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:27,199 Eat me, douche bag! 871 00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:29,319 We're gonna be champions of the world! 872 00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:30,759 Scottie, take off your pants. 873 00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:32,879 -Oh, no. -Look! 874 00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:34,999 There are more of those at the party. 875 00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:36,679 And Carmen's gonna be there! 876 00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:43,680 Okay, I'm in! 877 00:42:47,240 --> 00:42:50,839 You know, you're allowed to switch to boxers when you turn 13. 878 00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:53,239 -I hate you. -I know you do, old friend. 879 00:42:53,240 --> 00:42:55,199 Come on, Mike, take it off! 880 00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:58,199 Don't worry, hope isn't lost yet. 881 00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:00,239 Bring it on! 882 00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:03,079 Let's show the girls how much we love them. 883 00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:06,679 Zane, bring out the bananas! 884 00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:07,759 Bananas? 885 00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:08,839 I don't mind being a virgin. 886 00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:10,439 Shut up. It can't be that bad. 887 00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,359 You're gonna pass it from here to here, 888 00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:15,199 and end up here. 889 00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:17,799 And of course, no hands allowed. 890 00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:19,679 Okay. It's completely horrible. 891 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:26,119 Fastest team gets the passes. Go! 892 00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:28,039 This is more like it! 893 00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:32,999 Damn, that's hot. 894 00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:40,000 Okay, boys. 895 00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:42,319 AII right, we are winning this goddamn contest! 896 00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,559 All right, the girls are way ahead. 897 00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:46,559 AII right, Bump. 898 00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:50,759 Do me quick and professional. 899 00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:52,359 Wait, you guys are actually going for it? 900 00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:53,439 Oh, Jesus! 901 00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:54,799 Okay, please watch it. 902 00:43:54,800 --> 00:44:01,159 No! 903 00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,439 Scottie! Turn around and take it like a man. 904 00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:06,879 -I quit! -Get him, Mike! 905 00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:09,799 Come on, girls, faster! Get in there! 906 00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:13,279 Oh, my God, no! Please! Can't we... No, no... 907 00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:18,639 Close your eyes. It'll go faster. 908 00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,639 I love you, buddy. 909 00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:21,719 No! 910 00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:24,039 Yes! 911 00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:25,759 Congratulations to our winners. 912 00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:29,399 Thank you. 913 00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:31,239 More sausage for the party. 914 00:44:31,240 --> 00:44:32,879 Way to go, crazy man. 915 00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:34,279 So I guess I'll see you tonight? 916 00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:40,679 Count on it. 917 00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:42,519 This party better be amazing. 918 00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:53,919 Back of the line, boys. 919 00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:59,679 Stop right there. We're VIPs. We're on the list. 920 00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:04,039 Everyone over there's on the list. 921 00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:06,759 About how long do you expect we'll be waiting in line? 922 00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:09,479 I think you know the answer to that. 923 00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:10,559 -Have fun. -What the hell, 924 00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:13,319 you just let in those guys with the chicks. 925 00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:14,439 Chicks. 926 00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:17,239 What do you mean? We've got chicks. They're in there. 927 00:45:17,240 --> 00:45:22,119 I know. ''Everyone's got chicks in there.'' 928 00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:24,599 I took a banana up my ass. 929 00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:28,759 Step aside, guys. You're not gettin' in without girls and costumes. 930 00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:31,079 Okay, new plan. 931 00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:32,279 We head back to Bourbon Street, 932 00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:34,959 and don't stop drinking until somebody vomits all over Scottie. 933 00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:36,559 -Who's in? -I took a banana up my ass! 934 00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:39,039 Guys! Guys, guys! 935 00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:41,399 We're goin' to this party. I'm seeing Lucy. 936 00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:43,999 We're not gonna sit around some crappy bar, drinking cheap beer, 937 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:45,679 pretending like everything's perfect. AII right? 938 00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:48,839 -That's not why we came down... -Did you hear that? 939 00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:51,759 I think Mike's balls just dropped! 940 00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:54,439 Listen, while I appreciate your enthusiasm, 941 00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:55,839 that line's not moving. 942 00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:59,559 Plus, you heard the man. We're not getting in there unless we've got some tail. 943 00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:01,239 Well, I got an idea. 944 00:46:01,240 --> 00:46:03,079 So what do these cousins of yours look like? 945 00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:04,679 What? You're picky all of a sudden? 946 00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:06,119 But yeah, are they hot? 947 00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:07,439 Well, I haven't seen them since they were 10, 948 00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:10,439 but from what I remember, hopefully they've improved. 949 00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:12,559 Well, this sounds lovely. 950 00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:14,839 I don't care how they look, they're still my family. 951 00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:19,239 You treat them right. 952 00:46:19,240 --> 00:46:25,679 Cousin Michael? 953 00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:27,919 I'm gonna make a large donation to a charity of your choosing 954 00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:29,519 if you just let me suck on one... 955 00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:32,919 Janice, Cousin Mike is here! 956 00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:34,679 Cousin Mike! 957 00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:37,319 It's been so long! 958 00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:38,839 Wow! 959 00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:41,319 Twins? He didn't say they were twins. 960 00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:42,759 Twins are always hot. Always. 961 00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:45,559 I think Mike's family�s a little closer than most, right? 962 00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:47,079 They're pretty close. It's... 963 00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:48,839 Okay... That's enough. 964 00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:50,239 So... 965 00:46:50,240 --> 00:46:52,479 These are my friends, Bump and Scottie. 966 00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:53,559 Hi. 967 00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,679 Need a place to crash? You could share my bed. 968 00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:56,759 Or my bed. 969 00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:59,959 It's just a little small, but we could squeeze together. 970 00:46:59,960 --> 00:47:01,959 Actually, what we were talkin' about was maybe 971 00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:03,239 hittin' up this costume party later tonight, 972 00:47:03,240 --> 00:47:04,719 and I didn't know what you were up to tonight... 973 00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:06,119 We'd love to go! 974 00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:07,999 Let's get some costumes. 975 00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:09,839 Great! 976 00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:11,039 Jackpot! 977 00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:14,559 These are gonna be so crazy. 978 00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:17,719 These... And you're gonna get the same exact one as me. 979 00:47:17,720 --> 00:47:20,839 Normally, I'd be disgusted by the idea of incest. 980 00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:23,719 But quite honestly, if you don't bang the shit out of those two, 981 00:47:23,720 --> 00:47:26,239 I'm gonna punch you right in your face. 982 00:47:26,240 --> 00:47:28,439 -They're my cousins. -I don't care! 983 00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:29,519 We're right next to Mississippi. 984 00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:32,039 If we don't get any traffic, I'll have you there in an hour, 985 00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:33,759 and you�ll be married to one of them by midnight. 986 00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:38,599 I need to borrow you. 987 00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:41,599 I hate you. 988 00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:42,879 Oh, God! 989 00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:44,319 -What? -What're you doing? 990 00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:47,199 We need a family member's perspective. 991 00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:49,119 Yeah, what do you think? 992 00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:54,439 You are both beautiful. 993 00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:57,279 We want your opinion on our costumes! 994 00:47:57,280 --> 00:47:59,359 We want to make sure our outfits are appropriate. 995 00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:01,839 You both look, you both look very good. 996 00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:03,279 Does my butt look okay in this? 997 00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:04,479 I gotta go. 998 00:48:04,480 --> 00:48:05,679 But you just came. 999 00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:10,199 Almost. 1000 00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:12,599 'Sup? 1001 00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:13,919 What the hell are you supposed to be? 1002 00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:16,479 A giant hotdog. What the hell does it look like? 1003 00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:18,799 The classy, genteel Southern Plantation Owner. 1004 00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:19,879 You look ridiculous. 1005 00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:21,439 Thanks, I appreciate that. Unfortunately, 1006 00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,359 this store only had one costume left in my size. 1007 00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:28,199 So, considering what my options are, I think I look quite dignified. 1008 00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:30,679 Jesus, Scottie, what the hell is taking you so long? 1009 00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:31,759 Just pick one, already. 1010 00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:34,519 This is really important. The right costume could get me to second base. 1011 00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:36,999 Wrong costume... It could be deadly. 1012 00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:38,559 Well, there's obviously no contest. 1013 00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:40,959 -Get the Smurf. -Smurf? 1014 00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:42,719 Really, I was kind of thinkin' Cowboy. 1015 00:48:42,720 --> 00:48:44,839 Scottie, Smurfs are awesome. 1016 00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:47,359 They're cuddly, they're there for you on a rainy day. 1017 00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:49,879 What about that suggests that you won't get any? 1018 00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:51,719 Everything? 1019 00:48:51,720 --> 00:48:54,679 You know what, I'm goin' Cowboy. Cowboys are rough and rugged. 1020 00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:58,519 Okay, this costume says, ''Watch out, ladies, I deal with horses and Indians.'' 1021 00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:01,839 Yeah. It also says, ''If left alone on a snowy mountaintop in a pup tent, 1022 00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:03,719 ''I might do a dude.'' 1023 00:49:03,720 --> 00:49:04,799 What? 1024 00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:07,479 Cowboys are gay! 1025 00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:09,959 -When did that happen? -Are you serious? 1026 00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:13,119 Scottie, do you remember when New Kids on the Block was cool for like a week, 1027 00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:16,599 and then it became totally, utterly gay? 1028 00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:18,039 Not really. 1029 00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:21,799 Same thing's happening here. Cowboys jumped the gay shark. 1030 00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:24,159 You know, Bump? I'm gettin' the Cowboy, all right? 1031 00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:26,799 Okay. Well, we�ll swing by a drugstore, pick you up some body spray, 1032 00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:28,399 and a pack of ass condoms. 1033 00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:47,359 I wonder if Erica called. 1034 00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:50,279 Oh, my gosh! I am so stupid. 1035 00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:51,959 What? 1036 00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:53,399 I forgot to put my panties back on. 1037 00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:54,639 -Janice... -I know. 1038 00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:59,279 I am such a scatterbrain! 1039 00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:06,280 I think your phone's poking me. 1040 00:50:11,720 --> 00:50:15,479 Sorry about that. 1041 00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:16,599 You gotta be kidding me. 1042 00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:23,600 Wait for it... 1043 00:50:23,720 --> 00:50:28,759 Have fun. 1044 00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:30,439 What... You said that if I brought... 1045 00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:31,759 Two girls, two guys. 1046 00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:33,919 No. Guys? 1047 00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:40,920 Guys! 1048 00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:01,439 Don't say anything! 1049 00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:03,039 Hey, where's Bump? 1050 00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:05,039 Must be getting drinks. 1051 00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:08,439 Mikey, we wanna dance. 1052 00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:12,879 I'll... 1053 00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:15,199 Hey, thought that was you guys. 1054 00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:18,999 So, listen, I sort of have this arrangement with the bouncer, 1055 00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:20,959 he's a good friend of mine from the gym. 1056 00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:26,039 Anyway, I was wondering, how would you lovely ladies like to cut the line? 1057 00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:28,799 -Yeah. Yeah, sure. -Yeah, sure, great. 1058 00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:32,279 Yes. Awesome stuff. 1059 00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:35,239 So, I wasn't sure if you'd recognise me in this outfit. 1060 00:51:35,240 --> 00:51:39,999 We had that moment at the oyster place. 1061 00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:41,599 You four together? 1062 00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:44,239 Not him. 1063 00:51:44,240 --> 00:51:47,079 So that's how it is? Fine! 1064 00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:51,159 I hope you have a good time at the party. I don't wanna go anyway. 1065 00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:58,160 'Sup, ladies? 1066 00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:11,759 Hey, Carmen, it's me! 1067 00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:15,679 Hey, Carmen! It's me, too! 1068 00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:19,599 We don't need her, bro. She's not that hot, anyway. 1069 00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:22,519 This one? 1070 00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:25,439 I didn't mean it. She's hot as shit. 1071 00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:32,440 Miss Electra requests your company in the VIP room. 1072 00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:49,959 Lucy! 1073 00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:56,479 Mikey, come back! 1074 00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:57,799 Hey! 1075 00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:00,279 I thought that was you dancing with the hotties. 1076 00:53:00,280 --> 00:53:02,479 Those are just my cousins. 1077 00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:05,039 AII right. You got a lot of weird shit goin' on, don't you? 1078 00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:12,040 You don't know the half of it. 1079 00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:16,439 Dance with me? 1080 00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:23,440 Okay. 1081 00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:38,120 I'm beginning to thank Bump for draggin' me down here. 1082 00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:51,839 -Hey, come here. -No! 1083 00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:54,679 Don't come back! 1084 00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:57,599 I'm prepared to make a civil rights issue out of this! 1085 00:53:57,600 --> 00:54:00,559 Dudes are people, too. 1086 00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:02,599 Hey! 1087 00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:05,599 Say, great costume. 1088 00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:08,639 Thanks. I like your whole Colonel Sanders thing. 1089 00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:13,159 I have a brilliant idea, and 100 bucks. 1090 00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:20,160 Excuse me? 1091 00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:22,959 Hold on a minute. 1092 00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:26,639 It's okay. My girls are already inside. I'm the anchor. 1093 00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:27,839 -The anchor? -You know, 1094 00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:29,559 the chick some asshole's gotta bone 1095 00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:34,759 so his boy can do her hot friend. C'est la vie. 1096 00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:36,759 Dude, go home. 1097 00:54:36,760 --> 00:54:38,919 Look who it is, the big winner! 1098 00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:43,479 What're you supposed to be, a douche bag? 1099 00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:45,959 I was gonna put a cock in my mouth and go as your mom. 1100 00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:47,999 Let's do the Sprinkler. 1101 00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:49,959 Ready? 1102 00:54:49,960 --> 00:54:52,799 AII right. AII right, I can get behind that. 1103 00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:57,759 AII right. 1104 00:54:57,760 --> 00:54:59,439 -What is this? -Shopping cart. 1105 00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:06,440 Shopping cart! 1106 00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:10,759 So I told Harrison Ford, ''Don't you talk to me like that, Harrison Ford! 1107 00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:12,399 ''Do you know who you're talking to?'' 1108 00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:14,239 But he's a doll. 1109 00:55:14,240 --> 00:55:16,799 So what does a stylist do, anyway? 1110 00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:19,399 What doesn't a stylist do? 1111 00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:22,959 Pick out makeup, hair, shoes, clothes. 1112 00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:25,599 By the way, I love your little outfit. 1113 00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:29,279 Giddy up. 1114 00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:30,799 Oh, here! Have more champagne. 1115 00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:32,039 I'm... I'm good. 1116 00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:33,439 I did, one, two, three, four... 1117 00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:37,639 -And then, five... -Don't be a pussy. 1118 00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:41,199 Can I borrow your friend for a second? 1119 00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:42,839 Hi. 1120 00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:44,519 You havin' a good time? 1121 00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:46,959 -Yeah. -Listen, I have a confession to make. 1122 00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:49,559 I lost your necklace. 1123 00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:50,639 I found it. 1124 00:55:50,640 --> 00:55:51,759 What are the odds? That's... 1125 00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:55,199 That's what I said! 1126 00:55:55,200 --> 00:55:56,799 It must be fate. 1127 00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:58,759 I have to go make an appearance on the dance floor... 1128 00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:01,319 You know anyone that might be interested... 1129 00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:08,320 Then let�s go. 1130 00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:16,279 This is one of the best parties I've ever been to. 1131 00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:23,280 Yeah. It's pretty cool. 1132 00:56:25,640 --> 00:56:27,999 Mike? 1133 00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,039 -What're you doing here? -Me? 1134 00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:32,639 Is your grandfather feeling better all of a sudden? 1135 00:56:32,640 --> 00:56:33,719 Mike, maybe I should just... 1136 00:56:33,720 --> 00:56:35,519 No, one second, Lucy. 1137 00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:37,799 I sent your family flowers. 1138 00:56:37,800 --> 00:56:41,159 And the next thing I know, you're flashing all of Mardi Gras! 1139 00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:45,239 Okay! Okay, you're right. AII right, I lied. 1140 00:56:45,240 --> 00:56:47,119 I'm sorry. I just didn't think you'd understand. 1141 00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:49,119 What wouldn�t I understand? 1142 00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:52,319 It's our senior year. I mean, all the girls were coming down here... 1143 00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:56,479 It's my last chance to blow off some steam. 1144 00:56:56,480 --> 00:56:58,039 So that's what this is about. 1145 00:56:58,040 --> 00:56:59,719 Your friends drag you down here... 1146 00:56:59,720 --> 00:57:02,879 You see me flash a couple of guys, and now, you're pissed. 1147 00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:05,919 So, you kiss this girl to get back at me. 1148 00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:09,119 Come on. That's not my Mike. 1149 00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:12,799 Well, maybe you don't know the real Mike. 1150 00:57:12,800 --> 00:57:17,039 Oh, yes, I do. 1151 00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:22,159 Goodbye, Mike. 1152 00:57:22,160 --> 00:57:26,719 Let's go back home, and everything will go back to the way it was before. 1153 00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:28,719 If we hurry, we can still catch Idol. 1154 00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:29,999 Whoa, wait a minute. 1155 00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:31,239 I don't wanna watch Idol. 1156 00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:33,679 Okay. Well, we can watch something else then. 1157 00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:35,439 I don't wanna watch something else. 1158 00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:37,439 I don't wanna do any of that any more. 1159 00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:40,599 I wanna be right here, at this party. 1160 00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:43,919 Because this is me, Erica. 1161 00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:45,599 What are you saying? 1162 00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:50,039 It's over. 1163 00:57:50,040 --> 00:57:54,399 What're you gonna do? Run to your little slut? 1164 00:57:54,400 --> 00:58:00,599 If I wanted a slut, I'd stay here with you. 1165 00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:03,959 What? 1166 00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:05,279 Lucy! Wait. 1167 00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:07,519 Look, you don't need to explain, I get it. 1168 00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:08,959 We all have our roles, Mike. 1169 00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:11,359 -And that's your girlfriend. -Lucy... 1170 00:58:11,360 --> 00:58:12,919 I'm just a girl you've known for 24 hours. 1171 00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:19,559 Lucy, I'm sorry, you... You don't understand. 1172 00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:21,759 Have fun at the party? 1173 00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:24,599 Where the hell have you been? 1174 00:58:24,600 --> 00:58:27,159 Funny you should mention that. 1175 00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:30,759 Right out here where you left me. Thank you so much! 1176 00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:33,799 I was worried I might actually partake in my own plans. 1177 00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:35,799 Well, I'm sorry, all right? 1178 00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:37,039 I got bigger problems to deal with. 1179 00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:39,239 Bigger problems than leaving your best friend behind? 1180 00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:41,359 Well, my best friend would have listened to me 1181 00:58:41,360 --> 00:58:43,799 when I said I wanted to go back to school. 1182 00:58:43,800 --> 00:58:47,359 Whoa, wow! Are we really back on that again? 1183 00:58:47,360 --> 00:58:51,759 Look! If you weren't here, Erica still would've shown her fun bags, 1184 00:58:51,760 --> 00:58:54,719 and you'd still be kissing the ground that she walks on! 1185 00:58:54,720 --> 00:58:56,319 Nothing has changed. 1186 00:58:56,320 --> 00:58:58,239 Well, maybe ignorance is bliss. 1187 00:58:58,240 --> 00:59:02,039 You can't possibly believe that shit! 1188 00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:04,999 You know, Mike, in some messed-up way, 1189 00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:08,679 this is the best weekend of your life, and you have me to thank for it. 1190 00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:11,319 Well, thank you, Bump. 1191 00:59:11,320 --> 00:59:18,320 Thank you for being the obnoxious novelty act that you are. 1192 00:59:21,160 --> 00:59:25,999 Okay, Mike. Good luck. 1193 00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:33,000 Somewhere in this city, there are people worthy of my friendship. 1194 00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:44,440 Where the hell is Scottie? 1195 01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:18,520 You're my only friend, beignet. It's just you and me. 1196 01:00:25,400 --> 01:00:30,879 Sorry, we're closed. 1197 01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:32,359 Oh, baby. 1198 01:00:32,360 --> 01:00:37,159 This is not a good look. You know, that dress makes you look fat. 1199 01:00:37,160 --> 01:00:40,079 I'm gonna ask you something, Lame Girl. 1200 01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:44,079 Would you say I'm a novelty act? 1201 01:00:44,080 --> 01:00:46,959 Ask me that again. 1202 01:00:46,960 --> 01:00:52,639 I'm sorry, were you fishing for sympathy? 1203 01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:53,719 Okay. 1204 01:00:53,720 --> 01:00:56,799 I'm probably gonna regret asking, but... 1205 01:00:56,800 --> 01:00:58,639 What's wrong? 1206 01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:01,599 I just try to show everyone a good time, you know? 1207 01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:04,119 Is one awesome weekend too much to ask? 1208 01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:07,079 You know, if you'd been nicer to me, I'd be more inclined to help your cause. 1209 01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:11,079 I have been nothing but nice to you since the moment we met! 1210 01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:15,799 You call me Lame Girl! 1211 01:01:15,800 --> 01:01:21,239 Okay. 1212 01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:23,999 You... 1213 01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:31,000 You have nice eyes, Ann Marie. 1214 01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:37,199 Tonight, you're off duty. I'm in charge. 1215 01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:40,959 It's time you saw the real Mardi Gras. 1216 01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:47,960 Put on a clean shirt. 1217 01:01:57,520 --> 01:01:59,479 See? Isn't this great? 1218 01:01:59,480 --> 01:02:02,159 Yeah. Yeah, it's... It's great! 1219 01:02:02,160 --> 01:02:04,479 When are we going back to Mardi Gras? 1220 01:02:04,480 --> 01:02:07,519 Bump, this is Mardi Gras! 1221 01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:09,759 Look, you see that man leadin' the band? 1222 01:02:09,760 --> 01:02:13,439 He's been doin' this for almost 40 years! 1223 01:02:13,440 --> 01:02:15,839 Mardi Gras is not Girls Gone Wild. 1224 01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:17,759 It's not just tits and beads. 1225 01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:20,999 It's about family, tradition. 1226 01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:28,000 Come on, show me what you got! 1227 01:02:31,680 --> 01:02:35,239 Right. Too soon. 1228 01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:38,879 Hi. May I speak with the hotel operator, please? 1229 01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:40,639 Thank you. 1230 01:02:40,640 --> 01:02:43,999 This is Mike Morgan. I'm inquiring about a guest. 1231 01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:49,759 I was wondering if you have a Lucy Mills staying there. 1232 01:02:49,760 --> 01:02:51,919 No? 1233 01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:54,519 AII right. Thank you. 1234 01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:57,559 Mills. Mills! 1235 01:02:57,560 --> 01:02:59,159 Lucy Mills! 1236 01:02:59,160 --> 01:03:00,799 My tone? 1237 01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:03,039 You've got a problem with my tone? 1238 01:03:03,040 --> 01:03:06,319 Well, my tone has a problem with your... Hello? 1239 01:03:06,320 --> 01:03:08,959 Hi, this is Lucy Mills. 1240 01:03:08,960 --> 01:03:12,599 I'm trying to track down Mike Morgan. 1241 01:03:12,600 --> 01:03:15,639 Thank you. 1242 01:03:15,640 --> 01:03:21,919 Will you please hold on a moment? I am actually... I'm getting another call. 1243 01:03:21,920 --> 01:03:24,079 -Hello? -Hello? 1244 01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:26,679 -Hello? Hello... -Hello? Hello. 1245 01:03:26,680 --> 01:03:29,879 Hello... 1246 01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:34,239 I am not the one causing the problem here, sir. 1247 01:03:34,240 --> 01:03:36,279 And frankly, I don't think this is any way 1248 01:03:36,280 --> 01:03:37,359 for you to conduct your business. 1249 01:03:37,360 --> 01:03:44,360 So, I would like you to please patch me into your supervisor. 1250 01:04:03,480 --> 01:04:10,359 Where am I? 1251 01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:12,119 Carmen! 1252 01:04:12,120 --> 01:04:18,879 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 1253 01:04:18,880 --> 01:04:22,839 Yes! 1254 01:04:22,840 --> 01:04:26,119 Max, you did it. 1255 01:04:26,120 --> 01:04:29,199 Good morning, my angel! 1256 01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:36,200 It may be a good morning, but it was a great evening, sweetie. 1257 01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:47,639 I can't believe you're even awake! 1258 01:04:47,640 --> 01:04:52,719 After that performance, you deserve to sleep for a week! 1259 01:04:52,720 --> 01:04:55,639 Now... 1260 01:04:55,640 --> 01:04:57,799 You've gotta eat at least some of this. 1261 01:04:57,800 --> 01:05:00,039 You need to build up your strength. 1262 01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:03,999 Someone was quite the tiger, hmm? 1263 01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:05,599 I don't remember anything. 1264 01:05:05,600 --> 01:05:10,759 So you don't remember Security calling because of all the noise you were making? 1265 01:05:10,760 --> 01:05:12,079 Noise? 1266 01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:15,319 They said it sounded like the Fourth of July in here. 1267 01:05:15,320 --> 01:05:20,759 I don't... I'm feeling queasy. 1268 01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:22,439 Juice? 1269 01:05:22,440 --> 01:05:29,440 Max, you're gay? 1270 01:05:39,600 --> 01:05:46,079 -Thank you. -Sir. 1271 01:05:46,080 --> 01:05:47,279 -Bump, you know, I didn't... -Me, too. 1272 01:05:47,280 --> 01:05:49,479 Okay, let�s not do the whole thing. I rule, you rule. 1273 01:05:49,480 --> 01:05:52,839 You're not an asshole, I have overcompensation issues et cetera, et cetera. 1274 01:05:52,840 --> 01:05:53,919 Okay. 1275 01:05:53,920 --> 01:05:55,519 Rough night? 1276 01:05:55,520 --> 01:05:58,319 I was a moron. And I gotta make things right with Lucy. 1277 01:05:58,320 --> 01:06:01,239 Broad story, I'd offer to help you out, 1278 01:06:01,240 --> 01:06:03,519 but my vagina's in the shop. 1279 01:06:03,520 --> 01:06:05,639 Truffle? They're really fabulous. 1280 01:06:05,640 --> 01:06:09,239 No, thank you. 1281 01:06:09,240 --> 01:06:14,719 So I hung out with this chick last night, and she's pretty lame, but I don't know... 1282 01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:15,879 There's something about her. 1283 01:06:15,880 --> 01:06:18,199 Do I sense feelings from Bump? 1284 01:06:18,200 --> 01:06:19,319 Let's not go overboard. 1285 01:06:19,320 --> 01:06:21,359 I'm definitely capable of getting a hotter chick. 1286 01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:22,559 I mean, don't get me wrong, 1287 01:06:22,560 --> 01:06:26,159 she's probably like a six-and-a-half, maybe a seven on a good day. 1288 01:06:26,160 --> 01:06:28,359 She's a little old, but I figure she's got a couple of years 1289 01:06:28,360 --> 01:06:30,439 before she hits the wall. 1290 01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:32,159 Gonna introduce me? 1291 01:06:32,160 --> 01:06:36,199 You are lucky I even give you the time of day, fat boy. 1292 01:06:36,200 --> 01:06:38,919 Ann Marie. Charmed. 1293 01:06:38,920 --> 01:06:42,919 See that? Kind of lame, but kind of somethin'. 1294 01:06:42,920 --> 01:06:44,679 -Scottie! -Where the hell have you been? 1295 01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:47,319 AII right. I'm just gonna get this out in the open. 1296 01:06:47,320 --> 01:06:49,039 Max had sex last night. 1297 01:06:49,040 --> 01:06:50,559 Oh, my God! Congratulations! 1298 01:06:50,560 --> 01:06:52,199 -This is huge! -That is awesome, man. 1299 01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:53,479 With a dude. 1300 01:06:53,480 --> 01:06:54,559 Can I help you? 1301 01:06:54,560 --> 01:06:58,239 If only you could. But my penis just isn't that into you. 1302 01:06:58,240 --> 01:06:59,999 Guys, I know it's a lot to digest, 1303 01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:02,279 and I've given it a lot of thought, and it's not all bad. 1304 01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:03,359 On the one hand, 1305 01:07:03,360 --> 01:07:06,199 I'm gonna have a clean apartment, beautiful clothes, washboard abs, 1306 01:07:06,200 --> 01:07:10,239 and I'll finally be able to admit that I know every word on the Wicked soundtrack. 1307 01:07:10,240 --> 01:07:12,319 Plus I'll be having a shitload of sex! 1308 01:07:12,320 --> 01:07:14,239 On the downside, it'll be with guys. 1309 01:07:14,240 --> 01:07:17,119 So, you know, there's that, but whatever, it's four to one. Right? 1310 01:07:17,120 --> 01:07:18,719 That's a pretty big one. 1311 01:07:18,720 --> 01:07:20,559 So you're gay! Whatever, right? 1312 01:07:20,560 --> 01:07:22,159 The point is, you got laid! 1313 01:07:22,160 --> 01:07:25,719 Yeah. You got laid. 1314 01:07:25,720 --> 01:07:26,799 That's awesome. 1315 01:07:26,800 --> 01:07:28,279 Yes! That's really great. 1316 01:07:28,280 --> 01:07:30,559 You're gonna pound so much... Butt. 1317 01:07:30,560 --> 01:07:33,519 But just so we're clear, I'm... I'm not gay. You know? 1318 01:07:33,520 --> 01:07:35,719 -You're... You're not? -No, no, Max is the gay one. 1319 01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:39,759 I'm a straight man living with a gay penis. 1320 01:07:39,760 --> 01:07:40,839 I'm Scottie, by the way. 1321 01:07:40,840 --> 01:07:44,439 Baby, you're gay. 1322 01:07:44,440 --> 01:07:48,359 Well, guys, I guess this is Fat Tuesday. 1323 01:07:48,360 --> 01:07:50,399 So much for that Bourbon Street balcony. 1324 01:07:50,400 --> 01:07:53,399 Could be worse. At least we're all together, right? 1325 01:07:53,400 --> 01:07:55,879 A balcony? Is that all y'all want? 1326 01:07:55,880 --> 01:07:58,679 Come on, fellas. 1327 01:07:58,680 --> 01:08:05,680 Come on! 1328 01:08:11,120 --> 01:08:13,799 Hello, Tommy. Band these guys. 1329 01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:15,839 -What's goin' on? -I have no idea. 1330 01:08:15,840 --> 01:08:20,199 That's gonna clash. Do you have it in yellow? 1331 01:08:20,200 --> 01:08:21,759 -Good evening, Ann Marie. -Hey, Carl! 1332 01:08:21,760 --> 01:08:27,359 -Hey, Ann Marie! -Hey, Laura. 1333 01:08:27,360 --> 01:08:32,599 Who are you? 1334 01:08:32,600 --> 01:08:34,719 How's this? 1335 01:08:34,720 --> 01:08:36,519 My dad's the hotel manager. 1336 01:08:36,520 --> 01:08:38,279 I get this room every Mardi Gras. 1337 01:08:38,280 --> 01:08:41,439 Are you shitting me! 1338 01:08:41,440 --> 01:08:44,919 You know, you're not entirely lame after all, Lame Girl. 1339 01:08:44,920 --> 01:08:47,519 I was only gonna invite a few friends over. 1340 01:08:47,520 --> 01:08:52,519 Unless you have a better idea. 1341 01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:54,999 Gentlemen... 1342 01:08:55,000 --> 01:09:02,000 What do you say to a little soiree? 1343 01:09:35,480 --> 01:09:38,439 Yeah, baby! 1344 01:09:38,440 --> 01:09:45,440 -Oh, yeah, yeah, yes! For you! -Wow! 1345 01:09:48,840 --> 01:09:50,599 What the fuck? 1346 01:09:50,600 --> 01:09:52,159 AII right, I've had enough. 1347 01:09:52,160 --> 01:09:53,319 I'm gonna go find Ann Marie. 1348 01:09:53,320 --> 01:09:55,119 Whoa! What about your balcony? 1349 01:09:55,120 --> 01:10:00,159 Mike! Sometimes the best part of the party isn't the party. 1350 01:10:00,160 --> 01:10:01,639 You know what I mean? 1351 01:10:01,640 --> 01:10:03,359 I know exactly what you mean. 1352 01:10:03,360 --> 01:10:04,439 That doesn't even make sense! 1353 01:10:04,440 --> 01:10:07,359 What's the best part of the party if it's not the party? 1354 01:10:07,360 --> 01:10:09,759 I don't even know what you're talking about... Is this a straight thing? 1355 01:10:09,760 --> 01:10:12,079 Scottie! 1356 01:10:12,080 --> 01:10:13,399 Carmen? 1357 01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:15,559 Get down here, you silly boy! 1358 01:10:15,560 --> 01:10:16,639 Me? 1359 01:10:16,640 --> 01:10:19,639 Yeah, get down here now. 1360 01:10:19,640 --> 01:10:21,879 Listen. 1361 01:10:21,880 --> 01:10:23,959 If I don't make it back alive, 1362 01:10:23,960 --> 01:10:25,759 you tell the world Scottie Smith got laid. 1363 01:10:25,760 --> 01:10:27,079 AII right. 1364 01:10:27,080 --> 01:10:33,239 Maybe leave out the part about it being with a dude. 1365 01:10:33,240 --> 01:10:34,879 Scottie! 1366 01:10:34,880 --> 01:10:37,039 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1367 01:10:37,040 --> 01:10:44,040 What are you doin', bro? 1368 01:10:50,760 --> 01:10:52,199 Are you okay? I... 1369 01:10:52,200 --> 01:10:54,319 Yeah. I'm fine. 1370 01:10:54,320 --> 01:10:56,079 Where did you disappear to? 1371 01:10:56,080 --> 01:10:58,199 I was a little uncomfortable. 1372 01:10:58,200 --> 01:11:01,959 I think it was his first three-way. 1373 01:11:01,960 --> 01:11:04,279 A three-way? 1374 01:11:04,280 --> 01:11:05,359 You were there? 1375 01:11:05,360 --> 01:11:07,359 Yeah, silly. 1376 01:11:07,360 --> 01:11:08,839 -With Jonathan? -Jonathan? 1377 01:11:08,840 --> 01:11:13,239 No. Jonathan has a boyfriend. 1378 01:11:13,240 --> 01:11:14,439 But isn't he great? 1379 01:11:14,440 --> 01:11:16,119 I'm so glad you guys had a chance to talk. 1380 01:11:16,120 --> 01:11:18,439 I asked him to bring you breakfast. 1381 01:11:18,440 --> 01:11:22,319 Who... Who was the third? 1382 01:11:22,320 --> 01:11:23,999 Max. 1383 01:11:24,000 --> 01:11:29,279 You mean, you, me, and Max? 1384 01:11:29,280 --> 01:11:31,519 You mean... 1385 01:11:31,520 --> 01:11:36,159 I'm not... He's not... 1386 01:11:36,160 --> 01:11:37,559 Mike! 1387 01:11:37,560 --> 01:11:39,039 Max isn't gay! 1388 01:11:39,040 --> 01:11:40,959 Hey, all right, man! 1389 01:11:40,960 --> 01:11:47,960 Max isn't gay! Max isn't gay! 1390 01:11:48,640 --> 01:11:55,640 I had sex with Carmen Electra! 1391 01:12:01,840 --> 01:12:03,359 Lucy! 1392 01:12:03,360 --> 01:12:09,439 Lucy! 1393 01:12:09,440 --> 01:12:16,440 Your friends do know there's an elevator, right? 1394 01:12:18,880 --> 01:12:20,319 Lucy! 1395 01:12:20,320 --> 01:12:27,320 Lucy! 1396 01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:29,519 Lucy! 1397 01:12:29,520 --> 01:12:30,919 Lucy! 1398 01:12:30,920 --> 01:12:32,159 Lucy, can you hear me? 1399 01:12:32,160 --> 01:12:34,199 Hey! You suck! 1400 01:12:34,200 --> 01:12:35,879 Lucy! 1401 01:12:35,880 --> 01:12:36,959 Where are you, Lucy? 1402 01:12:36,960 --> 01:12:39,519 Lucy, where can you be? 1403 01:12:39,520 --> 01:12:40,639 Lucy! 1404 01:12:40,640 --> 01:12:42,199 Lucy! 1405 01:12:42,200 --> 01:12:45,679 Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! 1406 01:12:45,680 --> 01:12:47,519 Come on, man! I'm trying to find this girl. 1407 01:12:47,520 --> 01:12:48,599 Lucy! Lucy! 1408 01:12:48,600 --> 01:12:50,679 Guys, please, please! Cut it out. 1409 01:12:50,680 --> 01:12:53,599 Her! 1410 01:12:53,600 --> 01:13:00,600 Lucy! 1411 01:13:00,640 --> 01:13:01,839 What do you want? 1412 01:13:01,840 --> 01:13:03,839 You! 1413 01:13:03,840 --> 01:13:04,919 What? 1414 01:13:04,920 --> 01:13:07,239 He wants you! 1415 01:13:07,240 --> 01:13:11,479 What about your girlfriend? 1416 01:13:11,480 --> 01:13:15,399 Do you see me hijacking a parade float to talk to her? 1417 01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:17,279 You said last night 1418 01:13:17,280 --> 01:13:19,479 that we all have our roles. 1419 01:13:19,480 --> 01:13:22,239 What I didn't know is that I've been playing a role 1420 01:13:22,240 --> 01:13:24,199 for far too long. 1421 01:13:24,200 --> 01:13:25,799 A role that isn't me! 1422 01:13:25,800 --> 01:13:27,319 So who are you? 1423 01:13:27,320 --> 01:13:28,399 What? 1424 01:13:28,400 --> 01:13:30,559 Who are you? 1425 01:13:30,560 --> 01:13:32,599 I'm the guy you met yesterday. 1426 01:13:32,600 --> 01:13:35,919 The guy who, who kissed two dudes with a cherry in his mouth. 1427 01:13:35,920 --> 01:13:40,039 The guy who deep-throated a banana! 1428 01:13:40,040 --> 01:13:41,359 That's not what it sounds like. 1429 01:13:41,360 --> 01:13:43,519 Mike! We've only known each other for like... 1430 01:13:43,520 --> 01:13:47,359 Thirty-nine and a half hours! 1431 01:13:47,360 --> 01:13:50,879 Now, I know last night was crazy, and I know things could�ve gone better. 1432 01:13:50,880 --> 01:13:53,959 But I have never felt this way before. 1433 01:13:53,960 --> 01:13:56,759 And I will do anything to prove that to you! 1434 01:13:56,760 --> 01:13:58,519 Show your tits! 1435 01:13:58,520 --> 01:14:00,279 Show your tits! 1436 01:14:00,280 --> 01:14:02,279 Show your tits! 1437 01:14:02,280 --> 01:14:03,479 Guys, come on, now. Let's... 1438 01:14:03,480 --> 01:14:10,480 Show your tits! Show your tits! 1439 01:14:28,480 --> 01:14:35,480 Fuck it. 1440 01:14:39,240 --> 01:14:43,479 Cousin Mike! 1441 01:14:43,480 --> 01:14:50,480 Yeah! 1442 01:14:53,080 --> 01:14:55,359 You've earned these. 1443 01:14:55,360 --> 01:15:00,119 Not yet. 1444 01:15:00,120 --> 01:15:05,519 I'm gonna have to ask for these back now. 1445 01:15:05,520 --> 01:15:08,439 Will you please stop that? 1446 01:15:08,440 --> 01:15:15,440 Get up here and make me! 1447 01:15:33,120 --> 01:15:35,039 What happened to playing it safe? 1448 01:15:35,040 --> 01:15:42,040 Safe sucks. 1449 01:15:48,040 --> 01:15:49,439 Whoa! 1450 01:15:49,440 --> 01:15:51,479 Yeah. 1451 01:15:51,480 --> 01:15:53,079 Hi, Mike. 1452 01:15:53,080 --> 01:15:56,119 I saw your penis. 1453 01:15:56,120 --> 01:15:58,679 That was very upsetting. 1454 01:15:58,680 --> 01:16:00,399 Hi. Big fan. 1455 01:16:00,400 --> 01:16:02,239 I'm a big fan. 1456 01:16:02,240 --> 01:16:03,679 So where're we going for spring break? 1457 01:16:03,680 --> 01:16:05,399 Rio, baby! 1458 01:16:05,400 --> 01:16:06,879 AII right, I have been talking to a bunch of people, 1459 01:16:06,880 --> 01:16:07,999 and they all say the same thing. 1460 01:16:08,000 --> 01:16:11,479 They got a Mardi Gras that's way more, way more messed up than this. 1461 01:16:11,480 --> 01:16:16,519 Plus, Brazil's doing some really good things with vaginas these days. 1462 01:16:16,520 --> 01:16:17,719 What, too far? 1463 01:16:17,720 --> 01:16:18,799 I'm heading to Cancun. 1464 01:16:18,800 --> 01:16:21,599 Cancun? More like cannot-stop-taking-shits. 1465 01:16:21,600 --> 01:16:23,199 You ever drink the water down there, Carmen? 1466 01:16:23,200 --> 01:16:24,479 What about Daytona Beach? 1467 01:16:24,480 --> 01:16:26,039 Yeah. Or South Padre. 1468 01:16:26,040 --> 01:16:27,959 Guys, guys, guys! 1469 01:16:27,960 --> 01:16:30,719 We're coming back to New Orleans! 1470 01:16:30,720 --> 01:16:32,839 The greatest goddamn city in the world! 1471 01:16:32,840 --> 01:16:33,959 To Mardi Gras! 1472 01:16:33,960 --> 01:16:35,599 -To Mardi Gras. -To Mardi Gras! 1473 01:16:35,600 --> 01:16:42,600 Mardi Gras! 1474 01:17:07,480 --> 01:17:08,959 It was so good seeing Cousin Mike. 1475 01:17:08,960 --> 01:17:11,719 I know, it was so sweet of him to come visit. 1476 01:17:11,720 --> 01:17:13,559 I wish he could�ve stayed longer. 1477 01:17:13,560 --> 01:17:16,319 Me, too. It was sad to see him leave. 1478 01:17:16,320 --> 01:17:19,959 You know, this is gonna sound kind of weird, 1479 01:17:19,960 --> 01:17:23,839 but there was one thing I wanted to do with him. 1480 01:17:23,840 --> 01:17:25,279 Do you know what I'm thinking? 1481 01:17:25,280 --> 01:17:26,399 Totally. 1482 01:17:26,400 --> 01:17:29,119 Apple picking! 1483 01:17:29,120 --> 01:17:33,719 -That would�ve been so great. -I know. 1484 01:17:33,720 --> 01:17:35,119 Also, I wish he would�ve fucked us. 1485 01:17:35,120 --> 01:17:39,799 Big time. 1486 01:17:39,800 --> 01:17:44,639 What has two thumbs, a hard-on, and wants this guy to get laid? 1487 01:17:44,640 --> 01:17:45,799 This guy. 1488 01:17:45,800 --> 01:17:49,759 Who has more better odds in life than me? 1489 01:17:49,760 --> 01:17:56,760 Oh, boy. 1490 01:17:57,760 --> 01:17:59,879 They want these, they gotta show bush. 1491 01:17:59,880 --> 01:18:01,119 They gotta show a little pussy bush. 1492 01:18:01,120 --> 01:18:02,719 Gotta show a little vag bush. 1493 01:18:02,720 --> 01:18:09,720 Vag pussy bush. 1494 01:18:16,760 --> 01:18:18,039 I thought that... 1495 01:18:18,040 --> 01:18:20,319 I didn't get my line out. 1496 01:18:20,320 --> 01:18:22,599 Hey, you got a lot of... 1497 01:18:22,600 --> 01:18:23,919 Which fucking floor? 1498 01:18:23,920 --> 01:18:30,920 Number two. 1499 01:18:31,360 --> 01:18:37,719 I wanna make Mardi Gras my bitch! 1500 01:18:37,720 --> 01:18:40,239 I know you lost your mind, little white boy. 1501 01:18:40,240 --> 01:18:47,240 Gonna take you more than $100. 1502 01:19:23,800 --> 01:19:26,079 No! 1503 01:19:26,080 --> 01:19:28,159 Hang on, one more. 1504 01:19:28,160 --> 01:19:35,160 No! 1505 01:19:37,200 --> 01:19:39,359 She lied and showed all of New Orleans his tits. 1506 01:19:39,360 --> 01:19:41,759 -Hey, don't you have a game? -His tits? 1507 01:19:41,760 --> 01:19:47,479 Her tits. Jesus Christ. 1508 01:19:47,480 --> 01:19:54,480 Fuck! 1509 01:19:56,000 --> 01:20:01,479 Fuck, the bow tie just fell off! 1510 01:20:01,480 --> 01:20:04,839 I remember the first time I got an erection on the set. 1511 01:20:04,840 --> 01:20:11,840 It was tonight, Duane. 1512 01:20:12,600 --> 01:20:14,239 Join us tomorrow... 1513 01:20:14,240 --> 01:20:15,439 Crap. 1514 01:20:15,440 --> 01:20:22,440 AII of a sudden the shit scene's looking good, huh? 1515 01:20:30,240 --> 01:20:37,240 Coming through. 1516 01:20:57,440 --> 01:21:02,679 The chicks! They came back! 1517 01:21:02,680 --> 01:21:09,680 My grandfather died. 1518 01:21:09,681 --> 01:21:10,681 - Subtitles By Moneyboi - 109750

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