Original subtitles

And finally, dear friends and dear collaborators...

...the agency can consider itself ready for the launch of the new product...

...of which we have exclusive rights: the Californian wine "Mamma mia".

Selling Californian wine in Italy It may seem like a utopian undertaking...

...but that's precisely why he Americans turned to us.

Allow me therefore to remind you of our motto:...

..."Impossible things we'll do it right away!".

For miracles, well, you have to wait some time.

At this point, it seems necessary to me a taste of the wine. Thank you.

Courage, courage... come on!

Brindiamo all fortune of the Californian wine "Mamma mia"!

My goodness... Well, otherwise, I advertised what use it would be .7

Speaking of advertising, we have thought of a stupid reason...

...but precisely for this reason, suitable for our audience.

Please, go ahead the correct Two pil] Two.

this is American wine.

California wine.

this is American wine.

California wine.

- Livio, you're not going home .7 - No, I have an appointment.

- A woman .7 - No, my wife. - Ah!

- (Lisa) Livio! - Hi sweetie. - HI.

Even today at the hairdresser, eh .7

Since you've made yourself so beautiful, I'll take you to eat at the Chinese place.

From Chinese .7 An excellent idea!

(in Roman dialect) It went well .7

And after the chicken with bamboo], I'll bring them beef with bean sprouts...

...which is really a "chic"!

- Bring some jasmine tea to the doctor. - 0k.

I see you're a little hot.

No, it's just that, with these massages, Traffic is "all up"...

...and I feel my cheeks burning!

It suits you, so you learn how to do it tortured by those two scoundrels.

They are not scoundrels. It's the best beauty institute in Rome!

And I was lucky I got it appointment! It was full of people.

Especially full of firefighters, no .7

- Like, "of firefighters" .7 Because .7 - To put out the fire.

- What a fire .7 - You didn't know .7

On the radio they said that they had to vacate the building.

- Ah... that's what that smell was burned! - Yes, eh .7 - Yes.

- Many victims .7 - Only one. - Poor thing.

A mezfeté husband, I know advertiser, leaves two children...

...and 50,000 cases of Californian wine.

Well, now I don't want to feel bad because...

...it's very painful... for me too.

I should have confessed everything to you, a long time ago.

- Let's see who the winner is.7 -Jean Claude Hardy. - I know him .7

Yes, you met him at that party at the African Embassy.

- A nigger .7 - No, he's a 35 year old white man!

Tall, thin... with a strange virility. He has a beautiful smile.

He was sitting next to us, but you didn't notice.

(Lisa) She has elegance... and eyes... very sweet!

(Livio) I don't seem to remember no guy like that at the party.

(Lisa) You had too much to do:...

"You were thinking above all about improving i... interracial relationships.

(Livio) It was the purpose of the evening.

(Livy) H0 only paphlate with the Minister of Economy.

(Livio) A nice Minister, I must say. Much better than ours.

- (Livio) What about you? - (Lisa) I went out onto the terrace.

(Livio) You were hot, I imagine.

This is what you thought...

...from your point of view of seducer of ministers.

But he was there too!

- Yes, now I remember! He sat nearby to us, on the sofa. - (Lisa) Yes.

(Livio) Ferd, he also gave himself away do with the Minister of Economy.

(Livio) I remember very well: it was, it was... 0 at least...

...he was trying to talk to her... well, with him: with the minister.

(Lisa) S!) s11 His hands seemed bad to me.

(Lisa) Yes, they looked like they did!

"Et voile"! Here I am.

- Who says I was waiting for her .7 - In fact, I was the one looking for her.

Look, I'm hypersensitive, very nervous, and...

...and then there's my husband from Ié, who is terribly jealous.

Don't leave me with your eyes!

Ah! So, let's get out of sight of her terrible husband.

(LE3) N0 ! But why .7

(Jean) Let's go to a little place where we can rest easy.

No, please. Look, I hate it professional seducers.

But I'm an amateur!

With her... with you, Lisa, I try something different.

I feel... I don't know if I can say... "romantic".

"Romantic" .7

No! No, look, don't fool yourself! There's nothing to do with me, you know .7

I am an extremely woman balanced, believe me!

Not even if she kissed me now... on the neck... here!

Not even if she... ah! kissed me on the back... 5l'!

Ninth ! No!

Not even if he kissed my arms.

I wouldn't feel anything. I'm indifferent.

- Even if she insisted now to kiss me on the mouth. - Yes.

- Well, I wouldn't feel anything, nothing! I am holy, rosy. - 8l'!

He notices that I don't feel anything .7

He surprised his wife and lover.

Seized by a fit, Locascio he took the rifle and killed them.

Primitive psychology! Classic drama of underdevelopment.

Well, after all, "Locascio", the name I say, he is definitely Sicilian.

- You wouldn't do it, right .7 - Lo I think, my name is not Locascio.

Don't worry, just for a little kiss I won't hold Iupara, ok .7

It's not just a little kiss. But you are a modern man... you will understand.

- Of course. Go ahead. Second day I'll call you later, no .7 - Yes.

- He wanted to take me to dinner with him. I refused. - Good.

- I refused for 15 days. - E on the sixteenth you collapsed. - Eh...

The fortress has wavered and He has breached the southern walls.

I didn't quite understand what you mean, but I'm afraid it's vulgarity.

- When the surrender occurred unconditional .7 - Friday 17.

Ah... unfortunate day! Where was I .7

- You were at the game. - Ah, Milan he also missed that day!

You are not happy in those moments. I wasn't happy!

I imagine it. It must have been a terrible situation for you!

You won't believe me, but I won't I was just thinking about you! Always.

I am grateful to you.

After all, you are always generous with me, especially in critical moments.

- Lisa. - Jean Claude, I don't know why I'm here. I was passing by by chance.

I came up to say hello. As I would like you to meet my husband.

- 8l'! To the last futon at the end. - Where? - No! What do you do .7 No!

I wasn't prepared to go on dates.

You don't know what an extraordinary man he is my husband. You don't know how much he loves me!

It is refined, full of attention for me. How guilty I feel.

No, Cardin's hat, no! Not me I will take it off, I bought it today.

You don't know how he wants me. Five, six times a day.

He takes me in the kitchen, on the stairs, on the chairs and on the ironing table.

- Sometimes I get burned... ah! Then he holds me. Ah! - He holds you .7

- He squeezes me, until I roll over gil] from the table. - Yes, 5l...

- Now we roll. - No, the hat, please...

(Lisa) 8l'! 8l' !

(LISA PANTS) Oh, Claude... Oh, Jean Claude...

Oh, Livio! How I suffered, My Livio. How I suffered!

Yes, 5l'... I don't doubt it.

Making love to another man...

...while her husband is at the match, it must be a great pain!

- I hope that things eventually come to an end they went well. - Hmm...

8l' and no, because in the meantime, the first one Sometimes it's never what you expect.

And then, you ruined everything for me, because all I did was think about you.

Sorry, darling! I didn't mean it ruin your adultery.

If you had dedicated a little GDP to me] of attention in these years...

...all of this wouldn't have happened!

- (Livio) Yes, you're right. - Instead, you didn't look at me anymore!

So, at first passionate glance I collapsed. What I had to do .7

I have always searched so that you don't miss anything.

Yes, except the most important thing.

- Ah, yes! I forgot... love! - Love. Love...

This is the end I deserved, I knew, it was inevitable.

But if you knew, you could have done more] Attention... Watch out, the truck!

I know how I drive! But 5l', I understood it from the first moment.

- Ever since you lured me. - I .7! You lured me!

Now I'm the one who lured you. I remember, you even smiled at me.

- (Lisa) I0 ?! - (Livio) Yes!) a lewd and inviting smile.

(INAUDIBLE WORDS) Thanks. I go.

- You're stupid .7! - I didn't on purpose! A little distraction!

- (Man) Look at the clouds .7 - I was at the stop sign when...

- You don't use these terms with a lady! - But who are you .7

- Don't worry about who I am! - But go away. - Give me your details.

- What do you want .7! - He has a pencil, please .7 - But look at this!

- She took the slap.7 - No, a "pizza". - Rascal!

- It does not matter. - I am sorry. Mi sorry, eh .7 - Nothing, I'm better.

- I am sorry. - Perd... But where are you from? 7

- Native of Cremona, Milanese of adoption. - I'm from Ladispoli.

- His car is broken, he wants to get in on my .7 - Thanks. - Come.

That day I wondered if not you were too beautiful for just me.

- And... after not you I'm pil] asked. Never! - Never, for years!

Until last week, when you are was seen in the travel agency.

- From whom .7 - From my secretary, Patty. - Ah, the dried pine cone!

- Eh .7 - The dried pine cone, you name it like this. That... - Ah, 5l', it's true!

He told me he saw you escorted by a tall young man...

...distinct, with magnetic eyes.

In fact, he has magnetic eyes.

And what does he do in life... the hypnotist .7

- No, he doesn't work! Love. - (Livio) Ah, "tombeur de femme"!

- (Livio) Here we are. It was a relaxing trip. - (Lisa) Yes.

- I'm happy, we solved it all our problems. - Well done!

It's really nice to see the owners get along lovingly!

- Well done, Cecilia. The right word at the right time. - Yes.

- I'll put the car in the garage.7 - Yes, you put it on.

(THE DOG BARKS) - Flash, come here! - Go, go!

- Then you want a divorce. - Well... It seems inevitable to me now, no .7

And then, finally we have a law...

This...

- You might as well take advantage of it. You don't think so. 7 - Very good.

(LISA SIGH)

- So, the departure is cancelled. - Eh .7 The departure .7! - Yes.

- Which departure .7 - Ours trip. You don't remember pil] .7

- Yes... - Our holidays. - Le holidays! But I thought that by now...

That's why you went to the travel agency to cancel...

...booking tickets.

No, I didn't go... I mean, I am went to the travel agency...

...because Jean Claude had to do it a ticket: off to Madrid!

- Ah, Jean Claude is leaving for Madrid. - Yes, he has to buy a horse.

A horse. And you, don't go with Iui .7

No... evidently I'm staying here, no .7 He leaves alone.

Ah! That's why he booked a cabin with two berths!

For whom .7 One for him and one for the horse .7

Well, if you want to make it dramatic: 5l', we leave Sunday morning together.

(Lisa) Two bunks: Him above and me below. Here you are.

Today is Friday. What were you waiting for to tell me .7

- Monday. - The next day. It seems right to me.

Saturday or Monday, what changes .7

Jean Claude had to pass by Milan, I would have called you from there.

I didn't understand how you would have done it to justify your absence .7

I don't know, with some excuse.

Oh, yes! I'm an imbecile, I drink it all, a lot!

- I would have told you I was going two days at my mother's. - Ah...!

Now I'm starting to understand.

The "deus ex machina", that being sinister, curly-haired...

...with glasses, what a maneuver behind the scenes.

- But what about Kissinger now .7 - Your mother!

This day has exhausted me, if don't mind, we'll talk about it tomorrow.

I got a circle!

(Livio) Of course I'm sorry, It was our last challenge.

- We argued so well! - We'll have until Sunday.

Long time ago, to say the least The truth. You'll have to tighten it.

You see it was better not to talk about it.7 We would have avoided a scene!

For a scene! After 10 years of marriage, you can grant it to me!

- (Lisa) Yes. - Ah, I forgot! Something of no importance, eh .7

- Our children. - Children .7!

8l'! Those two brats, vaguely blond. Wait, what are they called .7

- (Livio) I have the names on the tip of the language. - (Lisa) Witty!

Oh, yes... the children, as they come, so they go!

They look great on my mother. You have something to say about my mother .7

- I was about to say a bad word, but I give up. - You did well.

I've always taken care of it of children and will continue to do so.

They will live with me and Jean Claude. A mother never abandons puppies.

How the two brats will live .7 They will have a lawn to play on .7

Look what the poor things will have only 100 hectares of woods and grass...

...50 rooms with bathroom and shower and an Iago.

It is the CONI .7 sports center

No, it's the castle where he was born Jean Claude and where his mother lives.

- Beyond the woods, what has more? me .7 - The freshness of a young man.

You allude to my physical deterioration .7

No, your health doesn't worry me.

Not even when you return home reduced to a rag...

...after spending the night playing poker with Saverio...

...who instead left the day before for the Canary Islands!

- Again the story of Saverio e The Canary Islands! - No, it's the last time.

In short, your friend it's very fresh! And then .7

(Lisa) He has many other things:...

...it's sweet, it's sensitive, he's loyal... he's faithful!

In the morning he brings you the newspaper in the mouth and barks at the Iadri .7

The fact is that I get emotional. (ROMANTIC MUSIC FROM THE TURNTABLE)

- In what sense .7 - He's excited!

He's excited when he talks to me, when he looks at me.

- When it touches me. Think about when we're together... - I understand!

- Don't go into details pornographic, thanks. - I'm not coming down.

The thing is, I'm excited me too, because I feel like I like it.

It's a question of skin. There's how electricity when I...

Very delicate to put on our record as background!

- Ah, it's our album .7 - Yes, if you don't mind. - Ah... nice.

When I understood that I was weak in front of him...

...I asked you to take care of me, to help me...

...to take me away, I don't know, maybe to the Seychelles, to Hawaii...

...any place... but you, nothing.

Did you think it was... a whim and you refused.

And what use would it have been .7 You would have always seen him in front of you.

He is the one you would have admired...

...from behind, on the balcony, wrapped in a romantic dressing gown.

But it's me you would have seen in underwear, pick my nose.

Flush the toilet.

You could have gone on the balcony and pick your fingers off your nose.

Deep down, I wanted this.

You know you behave very well .7 Me I was expecting a scene of jealousy!

And I would have liked it too. And instead: an Englishman.

- Jealous I .7! - Yes. No, eh .7

(with Sicilian accent) Lisuzza col French .7! I caught you red-handed!

- (Lisa) Appearances are! - (Livy) You must die! - Don't shoot me!

You, you disgusting one! And you, "whore"!

(LISA SIGH) “Affectionate… friendship… was.”

Over 30 dead and a hundred wounded during the latest clashes.

This is the heavy toll which must be registered...

In short, you're leaving with him because I don't have electric skin.

- It's not the only reason. - I repeat the question. - (Lisa) Yes.

- You and me in bed, have we ever had electric skin.7 - Of course.

If you say it in that tone, it means that we never had.

- We had great electric skin. - Not in front of the servants].

- Do you want to eat the dumplings .7 - What dumplings! - I'm not hungry.

I didn't know how to cook them anyway, of course if I was cooking them for them.

Last year, we were in Taormina stayed in the room for 7 days.

- I believe it, it always rained! - Well, it wasn't romantic .7

Of course not! You taught me to play chess.

At this point, I have to admit: I'm screwed on all fronts.

But no, you'll find another one! I know that now, just the idea disgusts you.

- But you'll find it, you'll see! - Eh, 5l'.

- You are very attractive, you know .7 - I was. Now I suck!

Don't talk nonsense! You just have 10 years older than me! Oh... 12.

At this moment, I have 100 more than you.

Youth and physical appearance I'm not everything in life!

- There's something wrong with mine physical appearance .7 - No, please!

Of course if you drank less and I could do some gymnastics...

But don't worry, the physique interests superficial women.

- It's a statistic! - (Livio) Ah, 5l'?

It's strange how much I like it precisely to superficial women.

- (Lisa) Yes? - Very much. - Like you also to Jean Claude. - Precisely.

- He found you very witty to the embassy! - Really .7

8l'! He said you are a very Italian guy.

- He recognizes the qualities, it's not a mean one. -Jean Claude...

I'd like to meet him.

- Why not .7 - We could become friends too. - This is civility.

Make him come here!

- Well, let's not exaggerate. - I'm not suggesting an orgy.

You make him come here, spend the weekend and then...

"Lay back, calm down, Monday take the train to Madrid.

I believe this is the only way to end our relationship...

...with style, as befits to a modern couple like us.

I don't know... now, like this, right away. Maybe later, no .7

Give me time!

- And then, what do we do, the triangle .7 - If anything, the square.

- Because .7 - Patty is coming too. - Who is she .7 - My secretary!

Ah, 5l', the dry pine cone!

- She's gotten stronger lately. - And who comes to spy .7

He comes to type...

...so I take advantage of Saturday to complete a report.

Well, then, telephone .7 Take it, come on.

But no, I'm afraid that... that we feel uncomfortable, that...

Why we should be uncomfortable .7 We are 4 adults, civilized people.

- Then, he's shy. - Jean Claude .7 - I'll be surprised, but...

Why should he be surprised .7! Come on, make this phone call.

Okay, if you don't want, I'll put gin].

Do you think I'm scared .7

Hello .7 Hello! Look, I'm... here with my husband and...

Love .7 It's me, Lisa! What a voice .7

No, maybe it's because I'm a little I'm nervous and my voice is shaking a little.

Listen, I wanted to tell you that... I told him everything.

Yes, I know it's not much diplomatic, but he already knew and...

No! Ninth ! He took it with a lot of class. 8l'...

It's peaceful, 5l'. He's English!

So we can... fly towards happiness.

I know we're going by train. I wanted to say "fly" in a poetic sense.

Got it .7 "Vol"... Ready .7 You can't hear anything anymore. Ready!

- Come on here. - (Lisa) He never has this phone worked.

Yes, ready .7 You can hear it now .7 I'll give you Lisa again, eh .7

Thanks. Hello .7 Yes.

No, I don't know what he did, he fixed it simply, 5l'.

He's very good at doing these little things here at home, a lot.

Just think, yesterday the toilet broke and he in a moment...

- You'll talk to him about the toilet tomorrow, tell him about the invitation! - Yes.

Livio would like to meet you. Yes, I I know, but he would like to get to know you better.

He would like to talk to you about certain things details of the... separation.

That's what I thought. He says to go to him tomorrow morning.

- Are you sorry .7 - No... - Hello .7 Yes, it's me. Yes, the husband.

Look, why don't you come here tomorrow, let's have a nice day .7

We take advantage of it to do a chat. Of course!

Well, you could leave directly hence Sunday, her and Lisa.

Yes, for Madrid. Eh .7 Like .7

Come on, don't be ridiculous! Let's go, we are almost in 2000! Of course!

- Lisa agrees. Tell him. - I would agree, only...

Heard .7 I agree! Well, they are really happy. Very good.

See you tomorrow. Ah, listen! She knows how to play tennis .7

Bring your racket, maybe Let's play a game. Well.

No, I have to tell him...

Why does he have to carry the racket .7

- Because without it, it's difficult play. - 8l'... to beat him!

Why do you think that by ridiculing him, can change the situation.

I'm not that childish!

And why take it out on someone else, when it's my fault .7

- No, it's my fault. - No, look, It's my fault and I know it.

Why do you take this away from me too .7

I committed adultery, This time, it's my fault.

But I'm the cause of it, that's right that I take responsibility for it.

Ah... in what sense .7

In the sense that it would be better than I had committed adultery.

- Another adultery .7 - No, it should be organised.

They should catch me red-handed, I could use Cecilia.

- You would like to cheat on me with Cecilia .7 - No, you would serve as a witness.

- Eh, 5l'... - It seems like too much to me. - (Livio) Yes?

- As usual, you didn't think to children. - Of course I'll think about it!

With adultery through your fault...

...an anti-democratic judge would assign the children to me...

...while it seems right to me let the children go to their mother.

And of course! They have to stay with me!

- But I know that you are very good .7 - Sure.

Just good, good, good, good, good...

(LISA KISSES LIVIO) Goodnight, eh .7

Of course it's very sad that our love is over...

...but, you know, i0... I don't know how to do two things together.

- See you upstairs. - Where .7 - In the bedroom.

- I cannot. - I sleep in the living room .7 - I can't go to bed with you!

We did it yesterday and we shouldn't do it today .7

Yesterday you didn't know it. 0 better, I didn't know that you knew.

- What changes .7 - (Zambia ! Why last night I was a faithful wife.

Tonight I'm an adulteress.

- Ah! The beauty institute! - Well .7

There was no fire!

I knew it.

(FREE LINE SIGNAL) Hello, Patty .7

_ L u _ (LMO) s.' >el i _ I ready 7

- Oh, "sorry"! I'm just lucky. - Well done! Very good!

- Beautiful! - Excuse me.

You hurt your hands. Let it be to me who has thick skin.

Too hard! You crush me all The thorns! Have you thought about wine .7

- The good one or the American one .7 - The good one! You want to poison us .7

- Good morning. - But who is this shameless .7!

- He takes that bag from me, please .7 - Yes, 5l'!

Uh, uh! Mrs. Stefani! (DIALOGUES NOT UNDERSTANDABLE)

- I'm Patty, your secretary husband. - Ah, 5l'... The dry pine cone.

- (Patty) Like .7 - Nothing, nothing!

- Mr. Stefani said that I had to come, no .7 - Yes?

- (Patty) He didn't say anything .7! - Yes... 5l', yes!

If you don't agree, I can also go as I came.

- Well done, well done! Well done! Compliments. - "Goods".

Tennis would be wonderful, if there weren't the lines!

The service should be corrected:...

...the racket must form a Iinea with her arm straight out, like this.

- (Lisa) Livio .7 - I'll come right away, darling!

- Oh, sorry about the "darling", it's strength of habit. - But it's natural!

- (Patty) I'm sorry that get divorced. - Livio, sorry!

- And that's his .7! - Yes. - It's Hei .7 - Yep. - Beautiful.

- Very distinguished, it must be very... - Ah... that 5l'!

How nice it is to get along so well.

- Everyone should get divorced like this. - Yes. Livio, I have to tell you something.

- Patty's here. - Good morning. - HI. You have found the way .7

Yes, it was very easy. Only 20,000 lire for taxi fare.

Don't worry, he'll take care of it Californian wine to pay!

- You know my... as they say .7 - Yes. - My future ex-wife.

- This is Jean. - Pleasure. - How you could say .7 The "husband"!

- Or the "step-in-law"! - How bizarre, "husband"!

- I should talk to you for a moment. - I have to take her to the room.

- But it's a matter of a minute! - For us too. You come. - HI !

- Your husband is extraordinary kind. - It's a snake.

Snake .7! I certainly don't know Him as good as you, but...

But you saw who brought me .7

- She's a bit vulgar, but she's cute. - I don't know, I haven't looked at it.

She's one of those types which we call "charming".

- "Charming". - "0ui". - Ah, that's "charming". - Yes.

Owl eyes, trumpet nose, guitar ass, mandolin thighs.

Sounds like the Cetra Quartet to me!

But what do you care what that .7 looks like (LISA SIGH)

To me .7 But nothing, of course! Only, the idea that you bring me here.

In such a delicate moment, then. A bit of respect!

- But you knew he was coming. Not you agreed.7 - Yes, of course.

- Well, I didn't know he was bringing it to me today. - But what's the difference? 7

There's a difference! For example, he could have waited for us to leave.

- It seems to me that you are jealous. - Jealous I .7! Don't make me laugh!

And why do you take it .7 You care more of what Iui .7 does

- I don't care, I just... - Then let's not talk about it anymore]. 0k .7

(Lisa) Ol

- I hadn't played for a long time. - Not think about it. Livio plays every day.

- Seriously.7 - Yes. - Well, then he should play much better.

- But who .7 - Maybe I got lucky.

But what do you mean .7 That you beat him .7 You beat him .7!

Why so much wonder .7 Ultimately, I'm a good racket too!

- Yes, 5l', but Livio... - (Patty) Ah!

Oh, what a beautiful house he has! So many beautiful things...!

(PATTY'S VERSES OF WONDER) Let me see.

- Ah, these are the famous ones "anise" eggs. - No, "onyx".

(Patty, in English) Oh, sure.

Look how beautiful this is. What is .7

This is mother of pearl. And not mother "idiot", as it might seem.

(PATTY LAUGHS)

Oh, how beautiful is this!

- It's her .7 - 8l', 5l'. Modestly, I posed.

- Beautiful. Too bad that has no head! - Happens.

- Here's the head! - Yes. - Why not Fattacchi .7

- Now, as soon as they give me... - She has a house... fantastic!

We put it together very carefully, a lot of patience and... a lot of love.

Lisa, you saw that thought kind had Jean Claude .7

- But he shouldn't have bothered like that. Just a great gift! - Fabulous !

- What is .7 - Caviar. - Uh! - Everything caviar! It will be at least 10 kilos.

- Let's not exaggerate, it's only a kilo of caviar. - And 9 kg of ice.

A marvel! If you knew the convenience What are you doing in the heat that's here!

- Sorry, Lisa, you're sorry take it to the kitchen .7 - Excuse me.

- Warn the savage that I am not hunting pellets. - Yes.

- Be careful, it weighs .7 - Thank you.

You saw what a lovely wife .7 Helpful, obedient.

Please don't waste it on me.

But you're crazy for putting yourself away home a girl like that!

She is my husband's secretary and He must have it on hand.

Ha-ha! Seen .7 What was I telling you .7

What did you understand .7 At your fingertips, if he ever had an idea!

- That's one of the ideas It makes me come. - (Carmine) Of course .7

In your opinion, a man and a woman they can't be together...

...without thinking about that thing h'?

My poor lady... you are, beautiful, good and a little silly!

A piece of advice .7 Make him jealous.

Make out with that guy boy, so he learns to cheat on you!

- Yes, and then if I do it myself .7 - The spade!

You have two pins, I have one arm swollen! But what a spade .7!

My husband tried it once and... I gave him a shovel on the head.

He still has the scar and when the moon appears, it barks.

- Carmine! - Yes. - Show me The scar on the lady. - Yes.

But no...

Blessed are you.

(Livio) A little more tabasco, a little stir... that's it.

It's my concoction. I didn't win I'm the "Golden Shaker", but anyway...

- What's his name .7 - I'm calling "Attila". - "Attila" .7 - 8l'.

Taste.

Where it passes no more grass grows. (JEAN'S VERSE OF DISGUST)

- How is .7 - (in a voiceless voice) Not bad.

Pil] I look at it and pil] I convince myself that my wife has really good taste.

- Please. - You're really beautiful. - Please, really.

Don't be embarrassed, but I find it difficult extraordinary physical beauty.

Then again, he's so tall! He even gives me annoyance. That's not true, Patty .7

No, I say, it's not just beautiful, but he's also cute!

It's like one of those ancient ones. Like those "Greek" statues.

- (Livio) He's already making a new one victim. - I'm so hot!

- Do you mind if I "take a bath".7 - Go! Cool your ass off.

Attention, countdown: "five, four, three, two, one".

Look at that ass. In my life, I must have seen three at most like this.

Very good at typing. I got it for that.

- Please. She likes it, eh .7 - Truly a beautiful girl.

No, I was saying my "Attila".

Ah, "Attila"! Yes, very good. What's inside, beyond the dynamite .7

A bit of everything. Drink, drink.

Good, eh .7 (JEAN BREATHES HEAVYLY)

By the way, I'll put this in my pocket.

Not if you forget it during the trip, eh .7 It's for Lisa.

- But what is .7 - "Methanodyne". A tonic of the nervous system.

- Don't get me wrong, eh .7 Lisa is doing great…now. - Yes.

He's just sensitive to certain things contrarieté, certain disappointments.

But she gives me two of these pills and immediately stops crying.

Another drop .7

But what kind of disappointments .7

Disappointments of all kinds, of every kind.

- (Lisa) Who is disappointed .7 - (Livio) Me!

You will understand! After the beating he gave me given to tennis Jean Claude !

Ah, 5l', I heard... who beat you. Yes, 5l...

Batted .7! 6-1, 6-0, 6-1. I don't know if I can explain myself!

Well, I'm going to take a bath. Who's coming with me .7 I'm going alone.

(Livio) "Four, three, two, one"...

(Livio) Sorry, Jean Claude, It's not Patty's.

(Livy) If you hear shouting: "Help!", don't come and save me!

- I see you've made friends. - 8l'.

- He prepared it for you. 7 - Yes. - What is .7 - Very good. "Attila"!

- No, wait! My love... sweetie! - Hey ! What do you do .7

It's poison! You understand who tried to get you drunk .7

Anyway, your husband I find him very nice and...

(JEAN'S VERSE) "I may be rude, but...

- Gross .7! He's already beaten you .7 - No!

How does it behave towards the GDP] Patty's obvious attractions...

...which, on the other hand, she has a nice pair of tits!

You always said mine fit in a glass of champagne...

...who looked up like the flowers of the horse chestnut trees...

...and you've already forgotten .7

- I remember. - If you want to bring she in Spain, go ahead, that i0...

But no, darling! What do you say .7 It's only you that I want.

Since that evening at the embassy, I wanted you right away.

- And even now I want you. - 8l'? 8l'!

(Cecilia) How cute!

Let's dance. (TANGO)

- Cecilia, what are you doing? You want something .7 - I was looking for the master.

I was teaching Dr. Hardy to dance the figurative tango.

- (Cecilia) A moment may come.7 - What happened .7 Sorry, darling.

- He said he wants to cook tonight. He has a surprise. - Ouch!

It must be at the beach, go.

I said to make out with him, to make your husband jealous.

But you have to do it when he's there. If not, what's the point of .7

Ouch, ouch! He's preparing a little surprise for lunch!

He's up to something.

Come on, I think you're exaggerating! Your nerves are on edge, love.

He started with the game that you you think you've won but instead...

Of course I won! And without effort: 6-1, 6-0, 6-1.

You can't beat me! He made fun of you.

To make you look like idiot and he fully succeeded...

What a son of a... He managed to let us argue for the first time.

Sorry, my love. Sorry, I love you.

Hug me, please. Hold me, forgive me! Let's go to the sofa!

I love you. A lot!

- You say he did it on purpose .7 - Yes, but don't think about it.

- Don't think about it, don't think about it! - (Jean) Are you really sure .7

I told you to do it when your husband says, otherwise there's no use!

It's a test, Cecilia. But it's good, it's good!

(PATTY SIGH)

What a bizarre bathroom! You know what I mean .7

- You said "bizarre", no .7 - Yes. - I think it means "bizarre".

But you don't come to the kitchen .7 What are you doing here, the voyeur .7

And you're not ashamed to stay all naked, with my butt in the air .7

(PATTY LAUGHS) Funny wild one, eh .7

What is it, morality .7

Come on, don't comment, don't criticize and don't get involved. Go away, go away!

- Meanwhile everything is burning. - Ah! - What's the matter? 7 - A wasp stung me.

Is there a need to scream like that? You have me gave me a heart attack. A wasp.

- It hurts! - Go to Lisa, she has the Nursing diploma, I'll cure you.

- It hurts! - Of course! Eh, the wasp hurts.

And remember, wasps they only land on beautiful asses!

(uvl0 SCREAMING)

- Here it is! - Ah! - Here the sting. No, it's not him.

- It seemed, damn! Done badly .7 - Yes, very much! - Well.

Ah, but now we're here! We'll see that we are here. So good, eh .7

Now... I'll take it! (PATTY SCREAMS)

No, this is a blackhead. Done badly .7

Yes, also because it is the other side.

Yes? Well, the stinger walks.

And you can't always go around with my ass exposed. This happens!

Now, for example, I also lost the sign. Where was I, here .7 Here it is!

Stop like that. There he is. There he is ! (PATTY'S SCREAM OF PAIN)

Oh, here's the sting!

- Perhaps. - But now I have a butt unrecognizable, full of holes!

Well, that means for once you will be recognized by your face.

- (Lisa) Gil], then. - What does it do to me now .7 - A massage. Here it is.

It's a project of mine and Livio.

In fact, it was I who had organized this kind of farce.

Well, then, tomorrow morning at 08:00 Cecilia enters my room...

...and find the doctor in my bed.

Where I entered... at 07:55.

And he has to find us in a position which leaves no doubt.

That is .7 That is, very close. Lie next to each other.

- So, see .7 So and not so. - Maybe even a little entwined.

- Because we are entwined .7 - So, for the credibility of the scene!

I don't see the need for it. And then, we must not scandalize Cecilia.

- Oh. - I'll just have to find you in the same bed. Break away!

- Well. - Here you are. - 0k. - Oh...! The massage is finished. Oops! - Ah!

What is there .7 It's for circulation of blood. It does very well.

(JEAN LAUGHS) What is it, another "Attila" .7

No, this is called "Maramaldo".

He's a bit of a traitor, especially for those who are not used to alcohol.

Look, don't worry about me.

No, I wouldn't want Lisa she blamed me for wanting to get her drunk.

There's no danger of me getting drunk. It's not the first time I've drunk!

It's better that way. Ah, listen, I'd better get it cleaned up, eh .7

- I better clean myself up .7! - Here, it's full of lipstick.

If I Iecca she .70 wants that I'll clean it up.7 I'll give you a Kleenex.

Wait, eh .7 Here...

Here too. Excuse me, eh .7

But it's full of lipstick stains! But what did he do with Lisa .7

- (Livio) You have already been married.7 - Yes, three times.

- He has children .7 - No.

Then he's lucky, Lisa arrives already accompanied by two beautiful little boys.

- Shit! - This time he was unlucky.

- I'll be happy to take you in the house "Bonnie and Clyde". - Who .7

"Bonnie and Clyde", my children. Our children.

Yes, your children. We call them so for their tendencies.

They have to stay with their mother, no .7

Well, especially with a mother hyperpossessive like Lisa.

- She didn't know them.7 - No. - They're very nice.

Especially Clyde, he's a sweetheart.

We have to get used to it, but he is a true musical talent.

Do you think that, at just eight years old, he's already playing the drum and the trumpet.

We encourage Him, so forget the fire.

- The fire .7 - (Livio) Yes. Well, It's not like he's a real pyromaniac.

Perd, in short, loves fire, but we we think that over time he will get over it.

Bonnie is very lively. It always is along with some wild kids.

They play, they scream. Every now and then it rocks something, but they're kids.

- It's her turn. - I know, I know.

But, sorry, we hadn't decided to give us... on first terms.7

- "Shits"! - It's not your fault, The cue must be to blame.

Of course, it's without chalk! Look, it's there.

- No, there isn't any here. - Look in the cupboard underneath.

- (Jean) Here .7 - Yes. Ah, no, there no! I'm so sorry! I am sorry.

This is my personal film library: pornographic films.

- I'm very porno .7 - Well, let's put it this way... intimate.

"Barbara on Horseback", "Lola and the whip", "Lulfi above and below"...

..."Sixty-nine", "Black and White"... "Deep Ass"! “Deep ass.”

- I'm the director. - It's you .7 - Perd, I can't give these to you.

- And why should you give them to me .7 - Eh .7 Ah, 5l', it's true!

By now, you have the protagonist. If you want, you can go around with her.

- The protagonist .7! - Lisa. Ah, you didn't know .7

She is the interpreter of these films.

She's very good, she has a temperament! If you could see with the whip... "zac"!

How can she move the whip... Really, you know .7 Really !

- You mean Lisa .7! - 8l'! Well, they're not on the market, eh .7

We'll see you and me and some very trusted friends.

If he didn't give you the number crazy cat, let me show it.

- Oh...! The crazy cat .7! - Yes, she's very good!

I can't do that very often because the scratches have to heal.

In my opinion, the GDP number is beautiful It's "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs".

She plays Snow White, of course, and... the seven dwarfs...

- Well, they're not exactly those by Walt Disney. - No, stop!

Yes, enough. I'm going to make food.

- You didn't see the... .7 - Ah... The protagonist!

- No... You got him drunk, eh .7 - I knew it was my fault.

I'm not drunk! (LISA'S VERSE)

Sorry, have you seen my .7 riding crop

Oh no! Oh no! Ninth ! Oh no!

"Et voile"! Sorry for my bad French, "les jeux sont faits" !

- How beautiful ! - "Canard is orange"!

- Which, in Italian, is called duck with orange. - Compliments !

Yes, duck a l'orange has now entered history...

...the love story between Lisa and me.

You need to know that on occasion of our honeymoon...

...in Paris, Lisa and I ate precisely the duck with orange.

Every year, on our honeymoon, we do one a year...

...let's eat duck a l'orange.

- It's not true, dear .7 - Yes, dear. - How romantic!

This year, there will be no trip.

- No, dear. But tighten, because the duck gets cold. - Yes.

0, at least, I won't be there... with me. It's not true .7

Eh, 5l', because you travel I'll have a wedding with Jean Claude.

- They take her away .7 - They just cut it.

- I think of life in terms of cycles. - One begins and one ends.

- Every cycle is marked by the eternal symbol of life... - Thank you.

- The duck. Let's eat it, go. - He's a poet. - Thank you.

- I spent a while in the duck of "piticarmo". - (Patty) What is .7

It's a spice, a somewhat aphrodisiac drug.

- The aphrodisiac drug! - (Livy) Native to Polynesia.

- You know something about it, don't you, kitty .7 - The kitten knows something about it!

(Livio) How I make duck I, with the "piticarmo"...

- (Livio) True .7 - (Jean) Worthy by Maxime. - Mhmm... how good!

Mhmm... spicy.

(VERSES OF PLEASURE)

(LISA'S VERSES)

- My dear, what's happening to you .7 - It's the duck. It's the "piticarm".

I feel it. God, how I feel. (JEAN SPEAKS IN FRENCH)

No, that's because you're drunk, it's something else. I I feel it!

I feel it very much! (LISA SPEAKS IN FRENCH)

Yes... 5l', again! Again... 8l', sl'...!

- I warn you that we "piticarmo" I put very little. - Eh .7

How nice to see two people prey to the enchantment of the senses.

Lisa, I didn't have any "piticarmo". not even a bit!

- Ah, no .7 Look, sometimes, The suggestion! - Eh...

(Livy) Eat the dessert, which is honey.

(Lisa) Who still wants fruit salad .7

- (Livio) Patty, you come with me .7 - Yes. - Let's leave the pigeons alone.

- (Patty) It's cold tonight! - What's wrong, you're in a bad mood. 7 - No.

- So, let's all go to the Pirate, eh .7 - Wait for us! Always at the cinema!

- Once at the nightclub it's fun. - Yes, the cinema must have tired you.

(70s MUSIC)

- So, what happened .7 - Nothing.

Nothing .7 I must have told you something that you've been mulling over since this morning.

- And it's definitely a lie. - This time I saw the evidence!

- Evidence .7 - "Lulfi above and below", "The crazy cat".

"Snow White." It doesn't tell you anything .7 (JEAN SPEAKS IN FRENCH)

Calm down, calm down. Speak calmly... and possibly in Italian.

I'm talking about those beautiful films of yours, the pornos, directed by Livio Stefani.

Protagonist: Lisa Stefani, The queen of the whip!

That's what .7 told you! Come on ! You want to know what movie those are.7

"Stanley and Hardy at the Watchmaker", "Ridolini and the velocipede"...

...and "Charlot Fireman", They are children's films!

- Some films .7 - 8l'! - For children .7 - "0ui, mon chou" !

- You swear to me .7 - Yes. Why, are you disappointed .7

If you want, we can try. I'm very good.

- Whip you or I'll whip you .7 - Lisa, this is not the time to joke.

Mate, I said he's a sadist!

(70s MUSIC)

Lisa, let's leave right away. Now !

- But how, now, now .7 - Yes, immediately!

But... now i0... I don't even have The suitcases! I didn't do them.

But Spain is full of suitcases and stuff cheap! Leather is cheap.

Yes, they told me. But it's not good skin that one! No.

(Jean) Let's not waste time, we have to leave immediately!

(Jean) I feel like it's important to we make a decision now.

Instead i0... I think which is more important to stay!

Why, if we are not capable to handle a situation like this...

...for a few hours, what we will do in the future .7

Ours must not be an escape, but a civil honeymoon.

Then, without haste, without fear!

- Eh .7 Come on, let's go dancing. - Let's go.

(SLOW MUSIC)

I bring the whip and the camera. Crazy things happen on the train!

- It's true, then! - No, come on! You can't joke! Let's dance.

(SLOW MUSIC)

(70s SONG)

(70s SONG)

(THE MEN CHEER AND APPLAUD)

Well, what are you going to do, Me striptease .7 Oh, you have two children!

- You're crazy .7 - No, because .7 - Where you think you are, at Crazy Horse .7

I'm doing the "coming soon" of "Lulfi sopra e sotto"...

...and if you're not good, I'll do "La crazy cat" and "Snow White".

- Oh, my God. - Doctor Stefani, yes feels bad .7 - I feel bad. - Come.

- He made too many jumps. Let's go to the table. - Permit.

Livio! Livio, oh God! Livio, how do you feel .7 Oh!

(Lisa) What's wrong .7 What should I do .7

I'll call the doctor or have him come the priest .7 In the meantime, let's do this.

You're welcome, Countess D'Almaviva Fernandez Navarra Consuelo...

"Castilla Camarones of Valencian Paella.

- You've recovered. - Totally! - You were more than here!

- I feel really fit! - Yes? - Cheerful as a cricket!

- (Patty) You dance better than... - (Livio) Whose .7 - Marc Spitz!

Not only that, but swimming much better than Fred Astaire.

No! What are you doing .7 Please...

Jean Claude, not in front of everyone. Not behind the column! No!

Not here, Livio could see us! But you're terrible.

(Lisa) You drive me crazy! A little patience, Jean Claude!

- You called me, dear .7 - Eh .78l'... no.

- Do you like nightingales .7 - Not I know, I've never eaten them.

No, I was referring to the singing of the nightingales. I'll let you hear it.

- It must be romantic! - Sorry, I thought... - (Livio) Lisa. - Eh .7

- (Livio) Are you sorry .7 - No, no! Go and be happy, I don't...

- I didn't know that nightingales they sang. - Sometimes they whistle.

We have to thank the nightingales! We'll finally be alone for a while.

It's Livio who left us alone. There are no nightingales in the garden.

- There are none.7 - No.

There's a tape recorder in a tree, He pushes a button and "tack"!

- The nightingales sing. - Jokes .7 - It has a real collection of sounds.

Think he recorded it at the zoo the roar of a Lion.

Then he put it here and to Cecilia, he almost had a heart attack!

It's childish! How did you do it? resist like this all these years.7

But it's unpredictable! It's like a child, you never know what you'll do!

He comes out with some ideas! It's terrible, terrible!

Now you talk about it with admiration.

For goodness' sake! How to admire... a magician.

I'm not very convinced.

Look, I wouldn't leave with you if I still felt something for Livio.

It wouldn't be the first time that something like this happens.

If you mean your third wife, who returned to her first husband...

...thanks for the comparison, she was crazy!

No, not completely crazy. And besides, I never said that!

That's fine myself, because I understand even what is not said.

Because I'm not completely stupid!

When you make that nasal voice you become unpleasant, "désagréable".

Ah, I would be "désagréable".

And what should I do, we feel, to be "agréable".7

I am "désagréable" because I have a nose voice...

...instead, women are "agréables". with my head voice, because I...

He made us fight again!

Hug me, if you hug me, everything is fine. What's up .7

- The lipstick. - Don't worry, don't worry I wear very little and it is indelible.

- Are you sure of it .7 - Yes, look.

- Damn, someone else screwed me time! - Who .7 How .7

Today, after you kissed me, he said I was full of lipstick.

- And you cleaned yourself! - No, he cleaned me up.

He wanted to know if we were there kiss. He's jealous!

- Understood why you couldn't beat him in tennis .7 - I'm afraid he won.

Seven dead and 25 injured it is the balance of the explosion...

...which devastated Iaia today Brenner railway.

He's a monster and we are his victims.

(NIGHTINGALES SONG)

- How about my nightingales .7 - Really delicious.

- They have a song that has nothing to do with the human! - Indeed.

- With a bit of good will and a good eyesight... You can see well .7 - Yes.

- You are not short-sighted.7 You can too see. I see it. - Where .7

Look, there's one. On that branch near the nest, I see .7

- No. - Yet, it is there. Listen .7 There's another one! You see it .7

- Ah! Now I see it! - No, those are pine cones, no.

On the one on the left. Come on that tree there are two others.

- (Livio) You see them now .7 - Ah, 5l'! There are two or three, eh .7

Yes, indeed.

- Doctor... - 8l'?

But she really carried me here to hear the nightingales .7

- Because .7 - It's not that he wanted... (PATTY WHISTLES)

Well, 5l', maybe, but not now. There is all a particular design of mine...

Look, I didn't mean to be vulgar, for goodness' sake, to do...

Don't worry, I know you, you are the refined secretary...

...pil] polite, pil] elegant...

- Ah!-(Iheh? - I stepped on shit!

(LIVIO SMELLS) - It's not Nightingale. - So what is .7

They are hearing the nightingales, which I haven't been here for more than an hour!

Maybe they found it something better to do.

- No. Anything, but not that. - No .7 The unpredictable Livio .7

But no, because I know! Not I would never do that in my house, never!

- He likes blondes, with a girl pink skin and green eyes. - You.

- Yes. - Yes? Perd, I'll go to bed with Patty in your house tonight.

Not at all. He will enter the room two minutes before Cecilia.

- Jealous, eh .7 - No. - So what, what do you care what he does with that .7

I don't care at all! Forget about it ! What do I care .7

I just don't want him to be with me her in my house, as long as I'm there.

Then, afterwards, he can do it everything he wants! After.

He can even marry her if he wants. I would celebrate the wedding myself.

You, Patty, by profession climber, spy and dry pine cone...

...you're happy to get married Livio Stefani here present .7

YES...!

And you, Livio Stefani, by profession advertising clown...

...you're happy to marry Ia here Patty Patacconi present .7

YES. (SOUNDBITE OF LISA'S ANGRY)

- 8l' .7! - Eh, 5l'! - And then...!

(SLAP)

I don't even know what jealousy is.

- You have what I call "crisis of possessiveness". - Oh, no.

- No, please, I have no crisis de possessiveness". - "0ui, oui" !

(LISA SPEAKS IN FRENCH)

It's 02:00, they're listening the nightingales that aren't there...

...you speak to me in French...

- We're going to bed.7 - Here, this is a good idea! - Yes.

Yes, goodnight. Good night !

- Listen, I'll come up with you, like this we give each other a real kiss. - Yes.

I mean, no! Now I'll explain. I have you said I have the rim since yesterday .7

- Terrible, a...! - Thank you. - What are you doing .7

AVGVO bet COII me StGSSO...

...that you would have had headache and I won.

Wait to sing victory, you know .7 You might even lose.

In fact, I'm sure that you have already lost.

(in French) - Goodnight. - (Lisa) Goodnight.

(VERSES BY LIVIO AND PATTY) The nightingales sang well .7

Truly wonderful!

- Think she even succeeded to see two or three. - 8l'!

- Damn what a view! - And where is our dear friend .7

He went to sleep as they should be all good children.

- Oh, yeah. - Good night. - (together) Goodnight!

But you don't go to sleep .7

- No, I would like to take it first a night cap. - What is .7

(LIVIO SPEAKS IN ENGLISH) - The last drink! - Well !

- You don't drink it, no .7 - No, I'm going to sleep. - Let's go.

- Ah, Livio! - Yes? - Remember to put on Iana's girdle!

- Thanks, there's no need, I'm fine like this. - He's very well.

Okay... goodnight.

- Here's the "Night Cap". - How is .7 - A pinch of heaven on Earth.

- How beautiful ! - Like you. You drink it later, eh .7

- (Lisa) Sorry. - What is it .7 - (Lisa) Nothing, I was looking...

- (Lisa) Sorry, sorry a moment. - But what are you looking for, sorry .7

I was looking for my... thing, the checkbook.

When have you ever had one .7 You always spent my money!

No, I had. It's just that I don't know now where... Alas! ..where I put it.

- Damn, it seems to me that... excuse me for a moment. - Please.

- (Lisa) No, I don't think so here there is. - There isn't. - No, there isn't.

- Sorry, eh .7 Okay, sorry the disturbance... - But for goodness' sake!

(THUD) Sorry.

- Where were we .7 Ah...! - (Lisa) Well, goodnight.

- Goodnight again! - Good night. - (Patty) Goodnight.

- However for me it's all a bit... - Bizarre. - Here, bizarre!

Exactly the word I was looking for.

- Perd, remember not to close The door is locked. - Because .7

Otherwise, I would be forced to break it, don't you think so .7

(laughing) Oh, yeah. It's a bit of a stupid question.

You can say them all Whatever nonsense you want.

Feathers! (CRASH)

No, nothing, don't pay attention to me!

I was just looking a glass of water. I'm thirsty!

I don't know where... Oh! Shh...

Where do you go, to drink sea water .7 There is no water on that side.

But I'm going to the garden where I'm there fountain and is very fresh.

- Then I'm going to sleep. - 8l'!

- I don't remember. What did we decide, let's sleep together .7 - (Lisa) No!

In short, you see a little, here.

Whatever happens, it's fine with me.

But what a great idea, I champagne! Thank you. Very kind.

Look, I was thirsty! Incredible... Hmm...!

But it wasn't said that you were going in room of that only tomorrow morning .7

I said you'd find me there, but not when I would go.

- Livio... - Then, sorry, not this it was fixed in our commitments .7

Yes. Commitments, call them! Now say that you are desperate to go to her.

- No. I'm worried. - Because of the fool you'll make.

It's not said. Then, what do you care .7 You don't have to cut the cord .7

I'm not cutting the cord, part0 with the man I love! It's different.

- And then, tomorrow morning and not tonight. - I don't see the difference. - There is !

- Give me the glass and I'll go in that room. - Livio!

We spent 10 years together, they mean nothing to you .7

They don't deserve a bit of respect .7 We don't want to end with dignité .7

And don't go there! Let's drink champagne together!

Your dignity, your respect, the your pride, you know where I put it .7

- In the toilet! - No! 10 years...! (CRASH)

- What's happening .7 - Nothing, He... - This man is bothering you .7

This doesn't concern you. Go to the your room and have a good sleep.

A tough day awaits you tomorrow. You may have noticed that I address her as "lei".

No, I have no secrets from him, Jean stays here. In fact, I care!

Clear .7 And then, civilté ! Let's sit down and discuss.

Let's have a nice round table with Ugo Zatterin and Moravia.

Ah, ah, ah! This one is good.

- He didn't say it well, you know.7 Try repeating. - Ah, ah, ah!

- No... Don't play the game, don't get involved. - Look at this.

- We are on another level! Clear .7 - Maybe you're right.

- End of discussion. Let's go to bed. - Optimal !

No, I meant, "Let's go Bed, everyone in their own bedroom."

And your bedroom is this one. But only for tonight. HI.

- Good night ! - It's the 14th time you tell me, tonight.

But it's also the last, I want to tell you well.

Patty...!

- Stop! Excuse me, where are you going .7 - I was putting out my shoes.

Except that this isn't it a hotel, where are my shoes .7

(JEAN LAUGHS) You didn't say it well, you know.7 Repeat.

Patty...

(SOUNDS OF EXOTIC ANIMALS)

(SOUNDS OF EXOTIC ANIMALS)

- Dear, I can't sleep. - (laughing) How sweet!

You don't remember the bet .7 You don't want to lose 10,000 lire .7

They are now lost, I put them in the other pocket.

- Let me stay here, just for a little while. - My love, you will be sleepy too.

No, I can't sleep. You have no idea the noise those two make!

Some screams, which not even in the zoo in the mating season.

Poor naive man! It's another one Livy's invention. How do they do it .7

(LISA MAKES SOME SOUNDS) - Yes. - I know them by heart.

- You know them .7 - He recorded them in Africa two years ago, I think.

It's called "Voices of the Forest".

- He wants us to believe that he is making love. - No, dear.

- They were really a man and a woman who made love. - Hand !

But I tell you no! They are the monkeys of the Ugandan forest. Listen.

(ANIMAL SOUNDS) This is the nose...

...or "Nasalis Larvatus" in love. (LISA MAKES SOME SOUNDS)

I've heard it a thousand times!

Now, if you pay attention, you will hear the "Mandrillus Trinitatus". Listen.

(LISA IMITATES THE ANIMAL'S SOUNDS) You see it .7 Eh .7

Maybe it's a suggestion, but I feel I'm a bit of a chump too this evening.

(Jean) Let me stay here with you.

"Mandrillus, return to your jungle, white woman doesn't fit in."

"White woman big circle. Leave it alone!"

- Take some "Methanodyne". - Let's hope ! I don't have it.

- I have it, if you want. - Really .7! - Yes. - But when did you get it .7

- Livio gave it to me this morning. - I don't need it!

But how many times do I have to tell you that I'm fine .7!

As you wish, bye. HI.

(Lisa) Wait! Jean-Claude...

Sorry. If I feel better, I'll come to visit you.

Now enough with the imitations.

The time has come to get serious.

Dear Patty... cheers and then... alé!

Doctor Livio, I'll do my best. I really hope I don't disappoint her.

I hope I don't disappoint you. (PATTY'S SURPRISE VERSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF PLEASURE AND LAUGHTER)

Eh, the "marichina" monkey. (VERSES OF PLEASURE)

The "marichina" monkey.

(Livio) Ah, beautiful slut! 8l'!

It is not the "Mandrillus Trinitatus", this is the "Mandrillus Italicus".

(Patty) Oh my God, how beautiful it is! How bizarre it is! Ah...!

And this is "Emmegnota Vulgaris". (LIVIO MOANS OF PLEASURE)

Oh, 5l'? And now I'll take care of it.

Ah, Doctor Livio... a virile man like her, I don't know what they're waiting for...

...to name it president of Fiat.

Eh... maybe...

(LISA SCREAMS OF PLEASURE) (Lisa) 8l'... No ! Please, no!

(LISA SCREAMS AND SPEAKS IN FRENCH) But this is his wife's voice.

- (Lisa) What are you doing .7! - Ssh... - (Lisa) No... no!

(LIVIO'S VERSES OF PLEASURE) Oh my, how beautiful!

(LISA SCREAMS AND SPEAKS IN FRENCH)

Ah, 5l'... Yes, 5l', again! (PATTY MOANS)

Oh, Jean Claude! We don't do it in Italy! No! No! I beg you !

But you're terrible, Jean Claude! Truly insatiable!

- Pin anchor], 5l'! - Doctor, how much I like it! - Yes, me too.

Beautiful... beautiful slut!

(LISA SCREAMS IN FRENCH)

- Oh God, how beautiful! - Ah! - Oh God, how beautiful! - Uh!

- Ah, how beautiful it is! - How nice, God! Mom, how beautiful!

- It's beautiful here! - Ah! - It's beautiful, God! God, God!

Oh my, how beautiful! God! (LIVIO'S VERSES OF PLEASURE)

(LISA, LIVIO AND PATTY SHOUT)

God! (LISA SCREAMS)

(Lisa) Ah... it was wonderful. What a man. The first real man!

(Lisa) No! No, still .7! But what you will do in Spain .7 Oh, no... 5l'...!

- But what happens .7 - You understand .7 She's with that asshole...

"Sorry."

(Lisa) $1.. YES!

(LISA'S VERSES AND LAUGHTER)

Lisa, what's wrong with you .7 You feel bad .7

No. No, I... I was... I was doing gymnastics.

The bicycle. I was doing I always ride a bicycle!

(Lisa) One, two. One, two.

Talk calmly. You carried Breakfast for the lady.

- I arrive at the door, I knock on that one he says to me: "Come on". - After you !

- I'll open. - Open... and what do you see .7

And I see this slut all naked, with Mr. Livio naked too!

All "twisted"! A thigh of here, one from Ié, tits everywhere!

- And the owner says to me: "Good morning! What time is it .7". - You who did .7

I screamed, I threw myself on the ground the tray and ran away!

Well done, so we're back on track also the mother's service!

And how he was .7 Happy .7 Happy .7

- He licked his whiskers like a cat. - It is not true !

Because you are a sex maniac and you don't understand anything, you exaggerate!

My husband and I make love every night, I understand a little.

- Carmine, come and show us! - Go bring breakfast.

- "I caught you red-handed"! - Ah! - "And you must die"!

(Lisa) You disgusting cheater! (SHOT)

And you, vile "whore"! (SHOOT AND PATTY SCREAM)

My goodness... "what did I do" .7

Than shoot and shoot .7

I am a modern woman, balanced. He will ask for a divorce.

And I come to be your witness. We'll make him cry all his life!

Calm down, Cecilia. Calm. It's not all his fault. You got it .7

I am very guilty of him, fortunately.

But what are you saying .7 You are immaculate, you are a saint!

I want to be honest with you.

- My little one, I have a "foménage". Clear .7 - Eh .7!

- I have an extramarital affair! - What is this "marital" .7

- I have a... affectionate friendship. - What would this friendship be like .7

Ceci', "patabum, patabum"! From three months with Mr. Hardy. Clear .7

Ah... but then you're not immaculate, you're a bit of a slut too!

What a slut and a slut! How ancient you are! We're getting married.

Meanwhile we leave for Spain. Actually, bring me the suitcases.

You realize you don't have me not even said "bonjour".7

- No .7 "Bonjour" ! - Ah, thanks!

The fact that Livio was with Patty, he put you in a bad mood .7

Imagine. They didn't do anything! I know, I know Livio too well.

Look, this time you're wrong, I heard everything from my room.

Hand ! Insist .7 I tell you who I am The "marichino" monkeys. That's enough.

In your opinion, when they make love The little monkeys say:...

..."Ah, what a slut you are!".

- Slut .7 - Yes. - You really have heard "what a slut you are".7 - Yes.

So it's him.

Don't be vulgar, because that it is the "Mandrillus Trinitatus".

Don't get angry. Who cares .7!

Your husband consoled himself with one "charming" girl. And with this .7

But what a "charming" .7! But if that is very ugly! It's horrible!

It scares children! They say it everyone, it's a dry pine cone!

So why make such a fuss .7 Did you agree, no .7

I agreed that he would come in in that room...

...three minutes before he entered Cecilia, to be surprised...

...so, close, but not above!

Which came in... stay above .7! Nothing fit in!

- Then, it's 09:00! Because at 09:00 does not go down, because .7 - Lisa !

Couldn't wait for tomorrow .7 I'm still his wife!

- But you're about to become mine. - Forgive me, my love.

I don't know what I'm saying anymore Don't... Take me away from this house!

That's a beast. It's a wolf! (LIVIO HOWLS)

Good morning, pigeons. You saw .7 Beautiful day for traveling.

- Slept well, my friend .7 - Very good, thank you. - And you .7

I'm fine. Ate I don't ask, because you will have slept wonderfully.

Very good. Mission accomplished, objective perfectly achieved.

- Well, Cecilia will have told you in the his report. - He told me.

"Thighs here and there, tits everywhere, a bed full of butts."

- Now you can leave with your conscience calm down. - Of course, dear.

- Packed my suitcase .7 - Yes, dear.

- You haven't forgotten anything .7 - Nothing, dear.

No, because the other time he had I simply forgot my suitcase.

Give me some coffee .7

Where do you want me to give it to you, dear .7

(laughing) It's terrible!

I warn you, where it hits it hurts. "Moon zone".

I foresee a meeting little balance between the two of you.

Don't worry.

5on041 today The victims of the clashes in Bangladesh...

- Uhu! - Ah... here The "marichina" monkey!

I'm going to finish my bags.

- Good morning ! - Good morning. - Oh! - Uh, "sorry."

She's mad at me .7

Don't worry, delicious companion of my erotic games.

The lady is aware .7

(Livio) Yes, the spy radio Cecilia sent the bulletin.

- Anyway, for me, all this it's very bizarre! - Ah, ah!

- Do you mind if I do another one bathroom .7 - For goodness' sake! - HI.

Attention..."five, four, three, two, one"... "Boom "!

Look, I have asses like this in mine life, I will have seen two or three per...

But that's what I think I've already told you, right .7

- Something's wrong .7 - Why, what should be there .7

- Leaving with Lisa creates you problems .7 - There are no problems.

Don't forget that you were wrong three wives in a row.

- This doesn't make an impression on you.7 - Not at all. - Nerves of steel!

In my opinion, in your tactics with Women, there's something wrong.

Satisfy my curiosity...

...the previous three wives have you I planted them or you did it .7

Neither one nor the other. My divorces they occurred by mutual agreement.

I wouldn't want Lisa to end too like the others: in the garbage.

She talks like she owes me give his daughter to marry...

...but Lisa chose freely.

Her marriage is over, that she whether you want to realize it or not!

I think 5l'.

- I could have one last interview with Lisa .7 - (Jean) Of course.

And I could have... one last cup of coffee .7

Please take a seat.

- Won't you be hot dressed like that? - Madonna, how scary!

- You know I get scared when I they talk behind the scenes! - I'm so sorry.

- The dress suits you well. - Yes, it will be hot, but I don't know what to wear.

We chose this dress together.

We chose many things together: this house, my ties...

...your clothes... everything.

- Everything, everything, everything, everything, no. - Ah, yes!

Everything, except a gentleman downstairs, who is gulping some coffee...

...and thinking about how I can get the next divorce.

- What do we do, let's start again .7! - I'm doing everything I can.

- 8l'... - Lisa, I'm desperate. - 8l'! I heard you last night.

0 you screamed desperately .7 Do well to sit down, because you will be tired!

- But why don't you rest .7 - If That's why I'm very smart.

Smart as a cricket!

But how could you .7

The door next to mine, The room next to mine!

- During, I was thinking about you. - Percid you said: "What a slut you are!".7

- I didn't amuse you .7 - I had a lot of fun!

If you wanted, you could have avoided it.

Giving you a bludgeon on the head. I did everything else.

Except give up Jean Claude.

- Mine is not an adventure. - Make it an adventure.

Ah, yes, like yours with Patty, Annamaria, Rosa, Giovanna and Zaira!

That's who stole my diary!

There will come a day when too The women will have the diary!

What do you do with it? 7 You have to get married.

I don't have to marry him, I want to marry! Eh!

You know what your life will be with Iui .7

I know what my life was like with you.

- Long, monotonous, always the same, without surprises... - 8l'.

Yes, 5l', that's fine with me. But enough, enough with the surprises!

Enough with the betrayal, all the traffic, the lie...

One falls in love, yes, "finish"!

Ah, I forgot, the two brats! What are they called .7

In short, our children.

They'll be fine also with Jean Claude.

(THUNDER)

(THUNDER)

(THE CHILD MAKES NOISE WHILE EATING)

(DIALOGUES IN FRENCH)

(WHIPS AND SOUNDS OF PAIN)

(DIALOGUE IN FRENCH, WHIPS AND SOUNDS OF PAIN)

- No, Jean Claude is very good. - It's sinister.

- He's in love. - Even rabbits they mate. You will die of boredom.

In six months, in a year, maybe you you will remember a joker who...

...it made you live a few hours happy, then you will want to see it again...

...but you won't be able to, because we we won't be at home for anyone.

Like "we" .7 "We", who .7

You won't think I'm alone in this house all my life .7

- What do you want to do .7 - I'll get a housekeeper.

- Housekeeper of what .7 - Of what...! - Someone like that Patty .7

Yes! I hadn't thought about it. Excellent idea.

- And you would place it in my house .7! - I wouldn't think about it for a moment.

Would you make her sit in my chairs, eat on my plates...

...smell my flowers and sleep in my bed .7

Of course. 0, if you prefer... eat in your bed...

...sleep on your flowers and sit on your plates.

- You made your choice .7 - Sure, I did it. Enough !

- Goodbye. - It's over. Goodbye. It's over.

They won't be at home, but no! Because if you...! Ah! Oh, sorry.

- What are you doing, playing with pillows.7 - It was for Livio. Please, stop.

- Let's go, get me out of here! Right away ! - (Jean) Okay, let's go.

- Yes, before you change your mind! - But why .7 - Take me away!

- Are you going to change your mind .7 - Who .7 What did I say .7

- Whoever changes their mind .7 I don't... What did I say .7 - (Livio) No, no.

You just said, "Take me away, before you change your mind again."

In the sense that I had the idea of I leave my husband and marry you.

0 you changed your mind about leaving and decided to stay here with Iui .7

(LISA STUTTERS IN EMBARRASSMENT)

- You really thought this .7 - Yes. - Tell me again, my love.

- You wanted to unload the handle of broom .7 - Yes. - How wonderful.

(JEAN SPEAKS IN FRENCH)

I must remind you, Lisa, that we have to catch a plane.

- But it wasn't a train.7 - No, with the plane we will arrive much earlier.

Yes, but flying hurts me a lot! I get palpitations.

You didn't understand it .7 The lady wants stay with her current husband.

Who .7 Who said this .7

- You said you wanted to unload the broomstick. - No!

Yes, I mean, I said it was an idea what had crossed my mind...

...which I then returned in my primitive idea...

"that is, in the firm decision to leave with my broomstick!

- Sorry, but it's to recognize you before. - If you've thought about it. - No.

If he managed to convince you with blackmail, you are the master of staying.

No, I want to leave with you, just... what time does the train leave .7

Because even trains today they're not so sure!

- Let's go by plane. - By plane .7! And what time .7 - In 50 minutes.

Let's take the next one.

- What are you doing, you bet .7 - (Jean) I had already bet.

Bet you wouldn't leave by train or even by plane.

And I had my boat come.

Make sure it doesn't close on me not even the suitcase, eh .7

Captain's office .7 Warn the yacht Maximo to warm up the engines.

- (Jean) We'll leave in half an hour. - The whole carpet gets wet!

- Don't worry, I dried the feet on the sand. - (Lisa) As well.

However, I have to say it's a lot lucky to go to Spain.

- (Patty) I've been dreaming for a long time. - 8l'.

See the pyramids, the elephants, the camels... and instead, nothing!

I have to go tomorrow in the office in Iworking.

Perd, I wanted to let you know that I have had a wonderful weekend!

- Just a little... - (together) Bizarre! - Here you are !

Bizarre! What I wanted to say! (LISA AND LIVIO LAUGH)

- I didn't remember. - You got it taught you this word .7

- Why, this friend is intelligent yours! - Now I understand everything.

- That you understood .7 - That you are in love with him and he with you.

- And that I was only an adventure. - But no... - Ah!

It took a lot! But, fortunately, the idea took hold.

Have a good trip. Spain is valid Worth visiting even on your own.

- (Lisa) Let's not rush things! - Lisa, listen, I'm leaving alone.

Now I'm the one who's changed my mind. Goodbye, Lisa. And ate too, Livio.

I forgot to give you something.

I couldn't accept gifts, especially dates.

This is something I wanted to tell you right away but then the opportunity was missed.

- I wonder what could be. - This ! - No!

- (Livio) Ouch. - What have you done to yourself in your hand .7 It hurt you .7

(PHONE RINGS) Sorry.

Hello .7 Mommy, it's you. I'm not game yet, but I'm leaving.

No, I'm going with Jean Claude. Yes, in Spain. We're getting married.

Yes, forever. You're right you on Livio. He's a drunkard.

I can't take it anymore]. He's a savage, a bully, a... Yes. Okay.

Hi, mommy.

Enough forever. It's possible like this a whole life .7 Enough.

Sorry for my confusion and sorry also on behalf of this beast.

I don't want forgiveness on behalf of none, in fact, I would give them others.

No, there won't be any need, because we are leaving!

And to vulgarity and violence I prefer civility.

- And the sweetness. Let's go. - Come on, honey.

I'm sorry, but that punch was an error. You know what we say .7

(JEAN SPEAKS IN FRENCH)

Via the stern ropes and on those fenders! Let's move, quickly!

- You, ready to weigh anchor! - You get rid of here. - Right away.

(JEAN SPEAKS IN FRENCH) YES.

- Sorry, ma'am. - Ah!

Jean Claude, don't you think so that the sea is a little rough .7

Agitated .7! But you're crazy .7 (JEAN LAUGHS)

- But why are you laughing like that? - Now go aft. - I'm going!

Let's go, let's go!

Lisa! (SOUND OF TRUMPET)

- He needs something .7 - No, no... I'm so sorry!

Lisa!

But what the hell happened .7

(LIVIO SIGHS) (Livio) Lisa...

Lisa... Lisa.

May you be unhappy, wherever you are.

Lisa... Lisa.

Eh... .7 "To the idiot"! Pick me up, I swam three miles!

- Come on, help me! - Lisa! - What are you doing? - Lisa, come.

- The engine broke. - Do for me go out. - I broke it to follow you.

- You come. - Here, like this! - Come on! - Let me come up with... No! - Oh!

- You came back to me, eh .7 - No, it's because I left him.

- Okay, let's go home. - Yes, let's go home. - Let's go !

I go slow, because I have the kids.

Lisa!

- Hate ! - Which is .7 - Oh God, he comes here! - No! - Stop him!

(LISA AND LIVIO LAUGH)

(Lisa) N0 g