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America's 250th birthday is right around

America's 250th birthday is right around

America's 250th birthday is right around the corner and President Trump is

the corner and President Trump is

the corner and President Trump is celebrating it with a ballroom, a

celebrating it with a ballroom, a

celebrating it with a ballroom, a reflecting pool, and an arch. All stuff

reflecting pool, and an arch. All stuff

reflecting pool, and an arch. All stuff that was not on our Amazon wish list.

that was not on our Amazon wish list.

that was not on our Amazon wish list. America asked for healthcare. God damn

America asked for healthcare. God damn

America asked for healthcare. God damn it, we sent you a link and everything.

it, we sent you a link and everything.

it, we sent you a link and everything. Now, technically, Trump is not really

Now, technically, Trump is not really

Now, technically, Trump is not really allowed to build most of these things,

allowed to build most of these things,

allowed to build most of these things, but when has that ever stopped him?

but when has that ever stopped him?

but when has that ever stopped him? >> The Washington Post is now reporting

>> The Washington Post is now reporting

>> The Washington Post is now reporting that the Trump administration is

that the Trump administration is

that the Trump administration is planning on building the arch without

planning on building the arch without

planning on building the arch without Congress's approval. The administration

Congress's approval. The administration

Congress's approval. The administration argues that it doesn't need Congress's

argues that it doesn't need Congress's

argues that it doesn't need Congress's approval because lawmakers a century ago

approval because lawmakers a century ago

approval because lawmakers a century ago authorized a somewhat similar project

authorized a somewhat similar project

authorized a somewhat similar project that was never built.

that was never built.

that was never built. >> Man, I just can't figure this

>> Man, I just can't figure this

>> Man, I just can't figure this administration out. They're not looking

administration out. They're not looking

administration out. They're not looking for congressional approval for a war

for congressional approval for a war

for congressional approval for a war with Iran, but they have lawyers going

with Iran, but they have lawyers going

with Iran, but they have lawyers going through all the old laws doing a control

through all the old laws doing a control

through all the old laws doing a control F for the word arch.

F for the word arch.

F for the word arch. How did they find this? I mean, the But

How did they find this? I mean, the But

How did they find this? I mean, the But Trump isn't the only one commemorating

Trump isn't the only one commemorating

Trump isn't the only one commemorating America's birthday. We here at the Daily

America's birthday. We here at the Daily

America's birthday. We here at the Daily Show are celebrating as well. And there

Show are celebrating as well. And there

Show are celebrating as well. And there are so many great moments in history to

are so many great moments in history to

are so many great moments in history to look back on. Although when you think

look back on. Although when you think

look back on. Although when you think about it, maybe not as many as you

about it, maybe not as many as you

about it, maybe not as many as you think.

America's history is complicated. Our

America's history is complicated. Our

America's history is complicated. Our once proudest moments now problematic.

once proudest moments now problematic.

once proudest moments now problematic. Our triumphs morally gray. Milestones

Our triumphs morally gray. Milestones

Our triumphs morally gray. Milestones eroded by backlash. Our beloved heroes

eroded by backlash. Our beloved heroes

eroded by backlash. Our beloved heroes are now gross.

are now gross.

are now gross. But there's still one moment in American

But there's still one moment in American

But there's still one moment in American history that brings us all together.

history that brings us all together.

history that brings us all together. The 1992 Olympic basketball dream team.

The 1992 Olympic basketball dream team.

The 1992 Olympic basketball dream team. Bang. The most incredible basketball

Bang. The most incredible basketball

Bang. The most incredible basketball players ever assembled. And also

players ever assembled. And also

players ever assembled. And also Christian Lightner. It's literally the

Christian Lightner. It's literally the

Christian Lightner. It's literally the last thing all Americans can look at and

last thing all Americans can look at and

last thing all Americans can look at and just say, "That was awesome." Boom.

just say, "That was awesome." Boom.

just say, "That was awesome." Boom. Shakalaka.

Shakalaka.

Shakalaka. Americans must forever reckon with

Americans must forever reckon with

Americans must forever reckon with stealing the lands of indigenous people.

stealing the lands of indigenous people.

stealing the lands of indigenous people. But we'll never have to apologize for

But we'll never have to apologize for

But we'll never have to apologize for Barkley stealing the rock four times

Barkley stealing the rock four times

Barkley stealing the rock four times against Brazil. Uno quapo. Walking on

against Brazil. Uno quapo. Walking on

against Brazil. Uno quapo. Walking on the moon now just reminds us of the

the moon now just reminds us of the

the moon now just reminds us of the conspiracy theories destroying the

conspiracy theories destroying the

conspiracy theories destroying the fabric of our nation. But how about this

fabric of our nation. But how about this

fabric of our nation. But how about this fabric? The big head t-shirt of the

fabric? The big head t-shirt of the

fabric? The big head t-shirt of the dream team. Man, that shirt was cool.

dream team. Man, that shirt was cool.

dream team. Man, that shirt was cool. had six of them. The end of the Cold War

had six of them. The end of the Cold War

had six of them. The end of the Cold War collapsed our political consensus. But

collapsed our political consensus. But

collapsed our political consensus. But the Dream Team collapsed everyone's

the Dream Team collapsed everyone's

the Dream Team collapsed everyone's defense. Mr. Gorbachoff tear down this

defense. Mr. Gorbachoff tear down this

defense. Mr. Gorbachoff tear down this backboard.

backboard.

backboard. The Dream Team has no dark past to

The Dream Team has no dark past to

The Dream Team has no dark past to revisit. No statues to tear down, just

revisit. No statues to tear down, just

revisit. No statues to tear down, just absolute dominance by the greatest

absolute dominance by the greatest

absolute dominance by the greatest basketball players of all time. And

basketball players of all time. And

basketball players of all time. And Christian Lightner. Were they perfect?

Christian Lightner. Were they perfect?

Christian Lightner. Were they perfect? Was their top competition Vald de Ramas

Was their top competition Vald de Ramas

Was their top competition Vald de Ramas Kichas of Lithuania? Did some of them

Kichas of Lithuania? Did some of them

Kichas of Lithuania? Did some of them have a gambling problem? Did Michael

have a gambling problem? Did Michael

have a gambling problem? Did Michael Jordan's son end up dating Scotty

Jordan's son end up dating Scotty

Jordan's son end up dating Scotty Pippen's ex-wife, which sounds even

Pippen's ex-wife, which sounds even

Pippen's ex-wife, which sounds even weirder when you realize she must have

weirder when you realize she must have

weirder when you realize she must have known him as a baby? Well, shut the up,

known him as a baby? Well, shut the up,

known him as a baby? Well, shut the up, okay? Don't take this from us, too. Just

okay? Don't take this from us, too. Just

okay? Don't take this from us, too. Just enjoy this American exceptionalism.

enjoy this American exceptionalism.

enjoy this American exceptionalism. So, happy birthday, America. Thanks for

So, happy birthday, America. Thanks for

So, happy birthday, America. Thanks for the dream team. The one thing we all

the dream team. The one thing we all

the dream team. The one thing we all agree we can be proud of. And Christian

agree we can be proud of. And Christian

agree we can be proud of. And Christian Lightner