Original subtitles

I want to go back to the car.

No, you have to wait for 20 more minutes.

No, no. I have... I have, um,

amazing re-reju...

rejuvenative powers.

What are you drinking?

I would like to have a screaming orgasm.

What are you drinking?

Uh...

sir...

we would like, uh... 2 martinis.

We don't have any martinis.

I guess we'll have

a couple of tequilas, then.

Oh, hey, why don't you pour yourself one, ok?

Oh, hell, cowboy,

why don't you just set up the whole damn bar.

Is this the ones that you lick?

No.

Make my orgasm just a little bit quieter, ok?

Excuse me.

Be right back, baby.

Oh, sorry, man.

Yeah, that's a door, my man.

You have to slow down for those things.

Oh, I gotta sober up.

What the fuck?! shit!

You're fucking with...

Get off of me, man!

What the fuck is this?!

Come on, man, who the fuck...

Shut up.

Ok, I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt, all right?

Apparently, you don't know

who you're fucking with, asshole, all right?

Get these goddamned cuffs off of me, man.

I have 2 black belts, asshole, and I'm gonna...

Ok, and you got some nice jewelry, too.

All right. All right, listen up.

I'm really not into this s and m shit, ok?

Who the fuck are you people?

Who do we look like?

You guys cops?

You're really bad at this game.

Introduce yourself.

This is a badge. Federal agents,

united states witness protection agency,

and we are not holding you.

Yeah, that would be illegal.

This is your signature, right?

It says here that you agreed

to testify in a court of law

in a case against benny "the buzzsaw" buffalino.

In return, the united states

attorney general's office

gave you full immunity.

Immunity! Forever.

And free rent. Forever.

That sounds like a good deal.

So why did you run, punk?

I changed my mind.

He changed his mind.

You changed your mind?

I changed my mind.

That's not good enough.

Listen to me very carefully.

We do not have a deal, ok?

Now way, nada, uh-uh, no, ok?

Listen, you guys don't know benny, all right?

You don't understand.

Don't understand? Sure we do.

We get paid to understand.

This agency is in place to protect scum like you.

Think holiday inn without the bill.

Ooh! Or the continental breakfast. That's good.

Or those guys trying to kill me.

That's not good.

Who? Benny's guys?

They're good, but... we're better.

I don't think so!

Listen, people, just let me go, all right?

I know my rights.

Standby to transport. We're coming out.

No, no, no. We're not coming out.

We're not going no-fucking-where, man.

Undo these cuffs!

Hold up. We have a car approaching.

Shit.

Shit? Shit.

All right, I'm gonna ask you this just once,

'cause it's my job,

'cause I don't give a rat's ass about you,

so here it comes, just once,

are you coming with us into protective custody,

or do you want us to leave you here?

If it's all the same to you,

you can leave me the fuck here, ok?

All right? I know my rights, jack.

The only right you should worry about is right there.

See? You're not that hard to find.

Now, you can go with them or come with us.

It's your choice.

Man, who would "them" be?

My guess would be a bunch of bullets

with your name on 'em.

Ok, I'm in.

We're out.

Go.

Oh, this does not feel like protective custody.

Shit!

I do not feel safe!

Shut up!

P.t., get your ass over here!

Wow, you know, you really are sexy when you...

Get him outta here.

All right, keep it low. I'll cover. Ready?

Yes!

Go!

Hello?!

jack!

Jack!

Do we really need jack?

Yes!

Jack!

Jack!

What the hell's wrong with you?!

Nothing. Nothing!

Excuse me. Excuse me...

Get back! Get back!

I'll appeal to you.

Can we get the fuck out of here?!

Is that your car?

Yeah, it's a beauty, too, ain't she?

I'll tell you what.

I'll trade you the cuff keys for the car...

Keys!

The suburban!

Oh, no, no, no.

I'm not going anyplace with those clowns. Ok?

They cannot protect shit.

This is jack. We're on your 2.

We need a taxi to the red catalina.

Get between us and the bad guys. Move it!

You go high. I go low.

Now!

Go! Move!

Follow us for cover.

Protect the witness.

Move it! Move it!

Take the wheel!

Steph, this is jack.

Close it up. Stay on my tail.

Run interference in case we get followed. Out.

Who does this guy think he is?

We're on your tail, buddy.

Fucking guy almost got us killed,

he took so long to get out of that place!

You are tripping, p.t.

I'm not tripping, I just think he...

He is good is what he is.

He got us in and out of there as fast as humanly possible...

with your missing witness.

I mean, Jesus, stephanie,

we all wanna know why this outsider

suddenly dropped in our laps

and running the show.

I mean, just because the powers that be,

whoever they are...

They are the national security agency,

and heis not an outsider.

His name is jack la roca, and he is your new boss

in this very delicate situation,

and need I remind you

the reason we're in this fucking mess

is because the 4 of you lost a key witness...

This witness... right from out under your noses.

Excuse me, uh, jack?

Would now be the proper time

to ask you to remove these handcuffs?

Now would be the proper time

for you to shut up.

No, see, jack, you don't understand, man.

See, I really don't like handcuffs.

It's a little quirk I got, you know?

Come on, jack. The cuffs.

The cuffs stay on and your mouth stays shut

all the way to los angeles.

Oh, let me tell you something, pal.

See, I know my rights, and your job...

My jobis to get you to court

by 10:00 a.m. tomorrow morning alive.

That's my job.

Period.

I think we have a right to know, ok?

Know what?!

I think we need some background, some information,

the skinny, who he is.

Fine. You looking for a date?

He's just a highly decorated ex-navy seal,

a former cia op.

So tell me, what is supercop doing on loan

to the witness protection agency?

No, baby. We're on loan to him.

Do you want me to make those tighter?

Is that supposed to be funny?

So now you're a sadist and a comedian, huh?

What a pleasant combination.

Women must love you.

Look, jack, come on, man. Take these cuffs off.

These things are gonna kill me, man. I mean, literally.

They're gonna cut off my circulation and kill me.

I'm gonna cut out your tongue if you don't shut up.

Oh, you got some kind of nerve

trying to boss me around while driving my car,

and not driving very well, I might add.

This is yours? Yes, it is.

Do I look like a liar?

Oh, untrusting soul.

Ha ha. You know, a stolen car rap

is the last thing I'm worried about, jack.

Do you know who I am?

I know exactly who you are.

You do?

Justice department has a file on me?

More like a file cabinet, really.

No kidding? What does it say?

Oh, a man who likes his own press.

Says you are stanford educated in economics,

but passed on a chance to work on wall street

for a chance to work in little italy,

and your real name is frederick smith.

It was frederick smith, ok? My name is rabbit now.

I like rabbit. Call me rabbit. What else does it say?

Sure, fred.

It says you spent the past couple of years

working for the mob keeping their books

with some creative math.

Which I actually find interesting,

'cause I don't know many brothers

who are accountants,

and I don't know any brothers

who are accountants for the mob.

You're a 21st century man.

My father is sicilian.

Hmm.

Problem is you weren't just working

for the buffalino family.

You were working for the russian mob as well.

Oh, no, no, no. See, that's bullshit.

That's bullshit.

That's exactly why I left.

The second that I found out that benny and his boys

was joining forces with that commie mob,

I got the hell out.

Ooh, better dead than red, huh?

Hey, hey, hey. Let me tell you something, jack.

While some may perceive me as a criminal,

I am not a commie, ok?

I am an entrepreneur, not a traitor.

Is that so?

Yes, that is so.

Little history lesson for you there, frederick.

The curtain came down. They're not commies anymore.

Ha! Once a commie...

Always a commie? That's right.

God bless america.

Amen.

Yo, jack.

Can you tell us where we are?

Yeah, I'm here.

I'm just trying to figure out exactly

where the hell "here" is.

Oh, great recon specialist.

He doesn't even know where we are.

All right. Don't worry. I'll find a map.

You know, no map's gonna help you here, jack.

Not a new map, anyway.

Really?

But I suppose you know where we are.

Oh, I know exactly where we are.

It's my current line of work.

It's all part of staying alive.

I have been traveling these back roads for weeks now.

Yeah, evading us.

Yeah, and benny and his boys.

You know, all these back roads, jack,

they're not on any new maps.

They are all...

they're all right here.

Let me see that.

Fine. Read it. Find out where we are.

Okey-doke. Uncuff me.

Leather or vinyl, shall we find out?

This is leather, jack.

It is fine corinthian leather, ok?

So put your little toy away.

Oh, come... no, no, no.

Don't do that.

I can read with the handcuffs on, all right?

Just... just put that away.

"If tourists were the life blood of the road,

"nowhere was this truer than on one particular stretch

near the california-arizona border."

That's where we want to be at.

Yeah, that's right.

"It was the most dangerous stretch of route 66.

The one locals called... "

♪ Dun-dun dunh!

"Route 666."

Evil fucking numbers, huh?

"Officially condemned in 1969

in the wake of a tragic chain gang accident."

What did you say?

That's weird. A chain gang accident.

What did you say?

That's weird. A chain gang accident.

"Travel on route 666 is not permitted,

however, nearby rattlesnake ranch is a must-see."

Hey, bunny rabbit, I'll be damned.

Did I not say I knew where we were?

Huh?

The map in the guidebook is right on the money.

There it is.

That is the entrance to the old road...

to route 666.

What the hell is he talking about?

That's how he's been playing hard to get...

Using these abandoned roads.

Well, it's not on the map.

Yeah, well, it's not on yourmap.

People, listen up and learn, ok?

Frick, frack, frack, and frack,

all right, we are standing right here on route 66.

That is where route 66 turns into 666.

Yeah, he's right. It starts right there

and it goes all the way to the border.

All right, it looks like a shortcut.

All right. All right. Agreed.

We take the old road. Any problems?

Yeah, problem. Problem.

The road is condemned.

It is condemned for a reason.

I do not like it.

Nobody asked you.

P.t. is right. We're taking the shortcut.

We just might get our witness to court on time.

Excuse me. Your witness has a name.

Not today you don't.

What do you say, jack?

Does look like it goes through.

We can avoid another situation.

Oh, that's not a good idea.

Copyright on this book's 1976.

So we don't know the condition of the road.

I don't know.

He doesn't know.

Hey!

I think we should turn around and take the...

Come on!

I... I... I think we should, uh...

You think we should what?

I think we should get moving.

We're running out of time. Get ready to roll.

Good. Excellent.

What's he doing now.

He's making a decision.

A de... jack! Jack! Hey!

Whoa, jack. Whoa, whoa, jack.

Not this road, ok?

Jack, think about it.

They closed this road

because there were too many accidents.

If the road is closed,

there won't be a whole lot of traffic.

That's not the point, jack. Listen to me.

I'm an accountant. I know numbers, ok?

666 is definitely not a good number.

All right, I'm for taking

all these old back roads, jack,

just not this one.

This one is...

cursed.

That was government property.

I am the government.

Now, shut up and get back in the car.

Ok. All right, fine, big shot.

See, but that's exactly why I don't pay taxes.

You ok, boss?

Fine.

All right.

Sorry.

It's ok.

It's just weird. You know, it...

I've had a weird feeling ever since we got out here.

My father's buried out here somewhere, I think.

Really?

Didn't y'all used to live around here?

Yeah, I was born around here.

My mom passed away before I was 6.

Never saw my father again.

Never even really knew him in the first place.

That's what you were thinking about

up by the bar?

I don't know what happened back at the bar.

You know what?

I have always wanted to ride in a '68 catalina.

'69.

You know, I have always wanted to ride

in a '69 catalina.

You know, I sensed that about you.

This road is bad news, people.

We heard you twice the first time.

Nobody's been on this road for 30 years, remember?

No, no, what I remember is benny buffalino

who has hitmen who think like kamikazes, ok?

And don't even ask me about those russian psychos.

Amateurs. We dusted 'em.

What you worried about?

You got more security than the president.

You got us,

and 4 other u.s. marshals.

Those clowns in the suburban?

They could not keep me safe before,

why should that change now, huh?

Oh, that's why you ran?

Oh, hell, yeah.

I mean, I drove around in that suburban

with them for days.

You should hear some of the shit

they always end up arguing about.

I am sorry, but farrah fawcett cannot be

your favorite supermodel of all time.

Why not?

Because she's not a supermodel.

What the hell you talking about?

Farrah fawcett was an actress

who turned to modeling.

So, ok. She did both.

No way. Not the same.

What are you talking about?

When did you see farrah walk down the runway?

Uh, oh, I'm sure she's walked down a few runways.

Name it. When? Name it. One... anything. Name it.

Fuck runways.

I mean, come on, don't you remember?

She had that poster everywhere.

You're telling me she's not a supermodel.

Nick, did she have a poster?

Help me out here.

Gil, do you copy?

Pick up.

What's up, gil?

Yeah, looks like they went down the old road.

I'm going after 'em. Send me some backup.

Hang on.

Uh, what was that about gil?

He thinks the suspects

went down the old road.

What do you want me to tell him?

Uh, tell him get off that old road,

finish his shift,

get on home.

You got it!

Hey, gil.

Talk to me.

Pa says forget about it and go back to work.

Forget... they're down that road.

I can take them.

Sheriff says keep off of that road.

Copy.

Fuck it!

Oh, you like that, don't you?

Oh, you're a natural born chicken killer.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Look at this? Look at this.

Here. Ha ha ha.

Oh, diddy fuck, we got barney fife on our tail.

I'll take care of this.

Now what?

What the hell are you stopping here for, jack?

You got somewhere to be?

P.t., you do not make unilateral decisions.

I'll take care of this.

No, I'll take care of this, p.t. stand down.

How about if I tag along

and watch you take care of this?

Maybe I'll learn something.

Freeze! Hands up! Whoa!

Hands where I can see 'em!

No, no, no. Hands up!

Easy there. Federal marshals.

Who are you?

Federal marshals.

Heard of us?

Badge, gun, thank you.

I don't care if you're fucking santa claus.

Hopefully only mrs. Santa claus

is doing that.

This road is closed.

This road is off-limits to everyone.

Because...

because I said so.

Because this is my jurisdiction.

This was your jurisdiction until I showed up.

The "u.s." on my badge...

That stands for "united states."

Deputy conaway, what's your sheriff's name?

None of your business.

You're trespassing.

No, I'm transporting a federal witness,

and you're pissin' me off.

Comprende?

Now, I got 5 other agents each with handcuffs.

One for each of your limbs, and one for your tongue.

So, deputy, what's your sheriff's phone number?

911, asshole.

Dickhead.

Nice work. Deftly handled.

Navy seal training, right? Excellent.

Thank you. Hey.

What the hell did he want?

He's got nothing better to do.

And you need to just sit still.

Freakin' asshole.

You better get used to those, fred.

We got a little ways to go.

Rabbit. The name is rabbit.

Call me rabbit, all right?

What if I called you two mulder and scully?

Would you like that? Huh? Huh?

Fred, it says in your file...

That was then. Now it's rabbit.

Rabbit. Dare I ask?

Could be dangerous.

All right, I'll bite.

Rabbit... how come they call you rabbit?

Because of my luck with the ladies.

What?

Oh, god, spare me.

No, no, I may not be on the good side of the law,

but I do happen to be on the good side of looking.

Oh, I bet the ladies love that one, huh?

Bingo! Tell me about it.

Speaking of which, uh, steph?

You know, after this is all over, baby,

how about you and me, we go for a little bite?

Fred, the only place you and I are going

is to a courtroom in california.

Now, I've never actually eaten there,

but, uh, you got yourself a date.

Whoa, what's that?

Look at that.

Jack, what is it?

I... I don't know.

It looks like a, uh...

what? What? What's he doing? What you doing?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I know you're not gonna actually stop here

on this road at a graveyard.

Well, this is charming.

Yeah, all we need are the picnic baskets.

This won't take long.

Shall I get the wine and cheese from the trunk, sir?

Shut up.

Any problems?

No, there's no problem. Y'all just wait.

What's wrong?

What...

Jack went to check something out.

Here at a cemetery?

Something's wrong with this guy.

Wait, he's stopping to sightsee?!

Or who knows the fuck what?!

We don't have time for this.

Do I have time for a smoke?

No!

Yes. Y'all wait here.

I'm gonna check this out.

Oh, may I accompany you, my love?

You may stay your ass right here.

Oh, no! See, there you go with that's and m shit again.

Whoa, whoa, don't leave me here

with helen keller and the 3 blind mice.

I am not safe with them!

Wow, your father.

Hey! Hey!

What the hell you 2 doing out here?

Trying to raise the dead?

It's 112 degrees in the shade.

Holy shit.

What?

So this is where he ended up.

This is miles hackman.

You know about him?

Are you kidding? I could tell you his shoe size.

I studied criminal law.

What... what are you talking about?

Gentlemen, I think we need to get back to our prisoner.

This guy...

This guy was a serious career criminal.

What... what other scumbags do we have here?

Pikowski, murderer...

slater, murderer.

Ia roca, bank robber.

This is a tough bunch to take a dirt nap with.

You know what we have here, folks?

The killers-r-us of the sixties.

You know, it's hot out here.

Let's, um, let's wait in the car.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Hey, joe,

you watch him?

Yeah. Go ahead.

He ain't going anywhere.

Yeah, well, I better go somewhere, and pronto!

My bladder's about to burst.

Why don't you go here?

Are you crazy?!

I'm not pissing on some dead guy.

That is very bad luck, my man.

My mother always told me never piss against the wind,

and never, ever, ever, ever piss on a dead guy.

The worst...

The worst, though, was hackman.

He would hack his victims up

into little pieces...

P.t., we're going.

No, before they were dead,

he would... he would cut out their tongue

to keep them quiet, then cut out their eyes.

You know the weirdest thing about these 4 freaks dying?

All 4 of them... I mean, look at this,

you got hackman, '67; La roca, '67;

Pikowski, '67, slater, '67.

They all kicked it on the same day...

August 28, 1967,

in some... some prison road crew accident.

But they had it coming to 'em,

because they were the worst of the worst.

They were the real deal. They were the psycho killers.

Well, all of them except for one.

I mean, there was... la roca,

they said, was kind of a family man.

I mean, the story goes that he met,

married, knocked up, uh, a chick in a small town,

over the weekend. I mean, the man was fast.

And they decided to take the straight and narrow

for once, to try it, to give it a shot.

It lasted about 6 years,

and then, you know, the money went away.

He got desperate. He went back to what he knew best.

The father of the perfect bank job.

But they nabbed his ass this time,

and he spent the rest of his life in prison.

He never saw his wife, or his kid, again.

Now tell me something, jack.

Why are you so interested in this?

Holy shit.

Jack, jack la roca.

He's your father.

Don't.

I knew there was a reason I didn't like you.

I just didn't know the reason until now.

Don't you start something you can't finish.

I'm not just gonna start it,

I'm gonna finish it.

Ohh... ow.

Is that all you got, tough guy?

Oh, you won't get up a second time.

I kinda doubt that.

You have guns.

Why don't you all just shoot each other?

Grrrrr!

♪ A letter came for me today ♪

ok, joe, listen up.

You really don't have to be

such a consistent asshole, all right?

I have to go.

A grown man with a wet spot

is not a pretty sight.

Stay down, stay down.

Up, get up, get up.

That was close. That was very close.

I'm the damn witness.

Shouldn't I be wearing that?

Huh? Shouldn't I be wearin...

Shut up!

Ohh, fuck!

Shit.

Shit, dead man crawling.

Shit... stay down!

Aaaaah!

Freeze! Federal agent!

What the fuck...

what the fuck are those?

They're not freezing, joe!

Shoot 'em in the head, joe!

Shoot the son of a bitches!

Jack!

Aaaaaah!

Aaaaaaaah!

Aaaaah!

Mary! Nick!

Fuck.

Shit.

Oh, shit! Jack!

♪ Should've listened to my... ♪

Aaaaaaaaaaah!

Aaah! Hey!

Get your asses out of the suburban!

Hey, assholes! Over here!

Steph, p.t., come in.

Come on! Come on!

Commie piece of crap! Jack!

How'd that asshole get a gun?

Jack!

What the hell are those things?

What the hell?

Cover me!

P.t., on your 9!

Get him out of here!

Who's got the keys?

I'm gonna chew my fucking hand off here!

Jesus christ!

What the fuck are these things?

They're coming!

Hotwire the thing!

They're coming!

All right, fine!

Aah!

Shit! Where's joe?

Joe is dead! Dead?

They buried him in the fucking road!

They pounded him in!

Jack, watch out! It's your father!

No!

Thank you! Jesus.

Steph! Get out of here!

What the hell are they doing?

P.t., let's move!

I got it, I got it! Let's go! Let's go!

All right, let's rock, let's rock!

Great fucking idea taking this road.

A shortcut, huh, p.t.?

Straight to god damn hell!

Shut up!

The two of you shut up!

Now listen to me. Head count.

I got rabbit.

Mary, you ok?

I'm here, I'm fine.

P.t., you ok?

Yeah, I got a few cuts.

What about jack? Did they get him?

Guess again.

The unknown soldier,

mr. Fucking superhero crapped out!

He hit the desert!

What are we gonna do?

We're gonna make a plan,

that's what we're gonna do.

Plan? Here's a plan.

They're on foot, we've got wheels,

we keep driving.

And nick is on the cell phone to headquarters.

We got no signal out here.

Hey, you just stay on my ass

and maybe in a couple of miles

we'll get a signal.

All right.

They're not on foot.

You don't know what the fuck they're on.

Look, steph, I'm telling you what I saw, all right?

They went into...

they went into the road, all right?

They went under the road.

Just give me a break.

They cannot get off the road!

I'm telling you,

I think they get their energy from the road.

They get their energy from the road? Fine.

Where the hell does the road

get the energy from?

You smell something?

You smell it?

Yeah, I smell rubber.

Steph!

Steph, I think your tires are burning.

Ours are, too.

We better pull off. Pull off pronto.

Well, what about the shoulder?

Can we drive on that?

No, no way. No.

It's a cactus farm.

All right, look, we got 2 choices.

We lose the tires to the road

or we lose 'em to the cactus.

Your call.

No, no, no, no. We don't have to get off.

We don't have to get off. Just a place to stop, all right?

We need a place to stop, a-and wait for help.

Like there! Right over there!

Aaah! This is great!

Ohh!

No, this is just fucking great!

Ah, Jesus christ!

I paid real money for those.

You know, those were not on this car

when I stole this car, you know.

I... I paid for those right out of my own pocket.

Not that it matters now, but check it out.

The road's not hot anymore.

Yeah, but it's hot out here.

I mean, it's goddamn africa hot,

like a microwave oven, yeah.

I feel like a fucking baked potato here.

Hey, nicky, you hear something?

Yeah, maybe we should make him shut up.

Maybe we should get him out of the sun.

Hey, hey.

Come on, let's go find some shade. Come on.

You gonna leave the cars here?

Yeah, we'll leave the cars.

Somebody might come by and see us.

Not with those things coming.

You think they're coming?

No, you're coming. Let's go.

You'll have some tea?

Tea?

No, thanks.

How did I get here?

Fate.

Jack, look out! It's your father!

I crashed. Did you bring me here?

Yes, I did.

Well, I appreciate it, but, uh,

look, I'm having the worst day of my life

and I really need to get back to it.

That 4x4, is it still drivable or did I trash it?

No, thanks.

It's good.

Yeah, what's in that? Peyote?

Tobacco.

Good answer, but I'll still pass.

I will take some caffeine, though.

Very well.

To all creation, and to you.

Cheers.

mmm.

Mmm.

Ohh, good tea.

yeah, good tea.

How'd you come to find our land?

uh...

from the, uh, from the old road.

From the east.

Ah, the old road.

Now that's a special road.

It's like a timeline right through our nation's history.

Main vein right through the center of the country,

carrying with it all the bloodlines of our past.

Yeah, there's nothing like it.

Doesn't matter if it's dirt or gravel or asphalt,

they all got their special story to tell.

Some good, some bad.

Some dark.

But there's none as dark

as this road we've got right here.

My people used to live along that road.

Some still do.

But they've been walking among those spirits there for years,

waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting for what?

Waiting for you.

You must walk among those spirits,

and bring peace back to this land,

and your soul.

More tea?

What kind of tea is that anyway?

Peyote tea.

Is there any other kind?

Heh heh heh heh.

Well...

thank you, uh...

for your kindness.

Thanks for everything.

Ehh... aaaaaaah!

They'll find us. They'll beat us to the car.

They? They.

Who the hell are they?

Jack.

Well, maybe that deputy.

That's right! They know where we are,

so why don't you just chill, man?

You telling me to chill?

I need a cigarette.

I left mine in the car.

Heyyyy!

Shit! For christ's sake, that wasn't funny, ok?

Asshole!

Hope you choke on your fucking cigarette!

Instant emphysema on your monkey ass!

You know, there better not be

a hair missing on my mustache, either!

Fuckface. Yo... yo, nick, nick.

Can you bring me back a smoke, man?

Aaaaaaaaaaah!

Aaaaaaaaaaah!

Aaaaaaaah!

Aaaaaah! Fuck!

Fuck!

Nick, come in.

Hello, nick!

Radio's freaking out again.

Steph, you don't think

those things followed us out here, do you?

Ah, no.

There's, like, 60 miles between us and them,

whatever they are, things.

That's not the point.

Uh, here we go again. What's the point?

The point is they can't come in here.

And why is that, genius?

Because they can't step off the road.

Wait, what do you mean they can't come in here?

Why can't they step off the road?

Because this is dirt, not asphalt.

They can't walk on it...

Howdy.

Officer on deck.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't jack frost.

Thought you got cold feet on us, my man.

You watch your mouth, rodent.

You know, deep down in my heart,

I really believe I can kick your ass.

Oh, shut up.

Good to have you back, jack. Cheers.

Yeah, how about you go easy on that, p.t.?

We might actually need you later.

Well, now that we're one big happy family again,

what's our status?

Well, we came up here...

Basically, jack, it's like this...

We're fucked.

You, no.

We came up here looking for shade

to make a base camp.

Our tires melted.

Yeah, I saw that.

Mine got torn up by the rock and the cactus.

Our phones don't work, our radios don't work.

We don't have any food, we don't have any water.

See, jack, she's just repeating what I said.

We're fucked.

Where's nick?

What, you didn't see him in the car?

No.

I'm going down there. P.t.?

I'm right behind you.

I knew you'd come back.

Awww, how touching.

Listen, uh, jack, now that you are back,

uh, could you remove these handcuffs, huh?

You want me to take those cuffs off, rabbit?

Where the hell am I gonna go, jack?

No problem, buddy.

Out here in the desert,

even a criminal like you

doesn't deserve to have both hands

handcuffed behind his back.

Oh, jack, what the...?

You know, jack, this is really...

This is where you'll be.

You know, I'm really starting to hate you.

And we were just growing so fond of you, rabbit.

Then I should be the one helping you.

Look, guys, I'd make

a great u.s. marshal, you know.

I mean, if there's anybody

who knows where to find the dead bodies

it would be moi.

Come on, guys!

This is...

Oh, shit!

Ok, ok, don't even think

about coming near me, all right?

I will stomp your ass to death.

Hey... i'm not scared of you, you know.

Do I look scared?

Am I the one who looks scared? Huh?

Do I... yo, jack!

Jack!

Fuck.

Motherfucker.

Never mind, jack. It's ok.

And where the fuck did he go?

Probably in the backseat sleeping.

Right.

No. No.

He just came down for a smoke.

Nick! We need you now!

Where the hell is he?

Fuck.

Whoa! Shit!

Fuck! Fuck! Jack!

Jack! Steph!

Somebody!

Somebody!

Damn it! Shit! Help!

Help! Jack!

Jack!

Jack!

P.t.! Some fucking body!

Help!

Jack!

Where the hell do you think you're going?

They're coming, jack.

They're fucking coming.

He's coming... calm down.

He's fucking coming, jack!

Who? The convict!

Where? Here?

He tried to kill me!

He just fucking tried to kill me!

The one with the pickax!

Aaaah! Don't do that!

I thought you said they couldn't leave the road.

Yeah, well...

And they could only walk on asphalt.

Yeah, well, i-i-it's...

You know, he never got very far

from that... from that snack shack,

so, he must've come up out of the floor.

He must have come up out of the concrete floor.

We got a new rule here. They can walk on concrete.

How'd you get the pole up?

What pole?

The pole in your hand, fool.

I have no fucking idea.

Ok, a man does incredible things

when face to face with death.

Oh, you're face to face with death, all right,

and he's right there.

I believe you.

Really?

Yeah. You're not exactly mike tyson,

so the only way you got that pole up

is if you were pissing yourself.

All right, I'm gonna phone some backup.

Who's got a phone?

I do, uh, right here. Here.

The phones don't work out here.

P.t., I don't happen to have a sat com uplink on me,

and I don't have the time or inclination

to rewire the car so I can tap out morse code.

So all I have is this phone.

All right, all right. Jesus, calm down.

This doesn't happen to work.

I told you so.

Well, we have no food or water,

our tires are gone,

the phones and radios don't work,

nick is missing,

and those things are out there!

That's strange.

Well, I'm not answering that.

Hey, nobody knows I'm here.

It's probably for me anyway.

hello?

There's no one there, but there's a dial tone.

Call 911.

I'm always thinking.

Ah, yes, sheriff?

I can't hear you. What?

Hello, sheriff, this is agent jack la roca.

Can you hear me?

Yeah, I can hear ya now.

All right, sheriff, listen.

I'm on the old road off route 66.

I'm here with 4 other federal marshals

and a witness I gotta get to los angeles

by tomorrow morning.

I need you to call the u.s. marshal's office

in los angeles. That number is 310-555-6212.

I need an airlift and some extra firepower here asap.

Yeah, I got that.

Thanks. I'll be waiting.

That was them feds you pulled over.

Agent la roca.

Where are they at?

Still at the old road.

They want me to call

that los angeles marshal's office

and get 'em some backup.

Seems that office don't know

exactly where they are,

so I should call 'em.

Why?

Why indeed.

this fucking desert. I'm dying of thirst here.

P.t., you wanna share some of that?

It's not good for you. It's tonic water.

Yeah, right.

Jack, I'm thirsty here.

You gotta give me some water.

What's taking them so long?

Pretty hard to find.

They'll be here.

Shit!

Hello. I'm thirsty, people.

I'm not a fucking camel, you know. I'm a human being.

You know, I know my rights here.

Quiet, please.

What the hell are they doing here?

That's not what I ordered.

It's probably just local cops.

The cops? Thank god.

Never thought I'd be saying that.

All right, steph, mary,

go down there and bring those cops

back up here, ok? P.t...

I gotta pee.

What?

Well, cops make me nervous, jack.

I feel like I gotta pee.

All right, you two go ahead.

I'm gonna take this asshole to the bathroom.

Steph, do me a favor. Cut him off, please.

P.t., the cops are here, straighten your ass up.

Aw, come on, jack. You don't even trust me

to go in there and piss by myself?

While in my custody, it is my job

to keep an eye on you at all times

and circumstances.

Yeah, but these are extenuating circumstances, my man.

You know, I'm really disappointed.

As I'm sure your mother must be.

Hey, don't go there, jack.

Whoa, shit! This is concrete.

Well, then, obviously you need to hurry.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Whoa, whoa!

All right, get busy.

I don't like this.

Stage fright. Just hold on.

It's coming, it's coming.

Why don't you turn that water on for me,

would you, jack?

You know, you really ought to get your bladder checked.

You got an infection or disease or something

'cause you piss a lot.

You're on your own, pal.

Hmm.

Hey, jack.

Your partner, steph?

Think she'd go out with me?

No chance.

No chance? Come on, man, there's always a chance.

Come on, give me some odds.

You and steph? Yeah.

10 million to one.

10 million to one.

All right, I'm on the boards.

No, you are not, all right.

There's no line on that bet.

You're off the board.

What?

Ah, uh-huh.

You're hitting it, aren't you, jack?

Uh-huh.

Just shut up and piss.

I'm trying, all right?

Oh, Jesus.

All right, get up, partner.

There's an officer on deck.

Let's just take this little thing right here.

Hey, hey, hey!

Hold it right there.

Ooh, yeah.

Well, where are the others?

There aren't any others. It's just us.

Mm-hmm.

I, uh,

I thought you said there were 7 of 'em.

There were.

Oh, come on, now.

Come on.

Just tell me.

Where are they?

Fuck you.

Like they say, I guess,

if you're gonna teach a jackass anything,

you, uh, you just first

have to get his attention.

- Aaah! - God, you...!

Son of a bitch!

Uhhh!

you fuck!

How could you shoot her?!

Oh, a woman? Well, son, when I was in 'nam,

we found that the women had to be treated

with equal prejudice.

We lost an awful lot of good men

to the so-called weaker sex.

But the question was,

how many, and where?

Don't you fucking tell him, p.t.

oh, ho.

You have got

big cojones, ma'am.

And it's really gonna hurt me

to have to shoot 'em off.

Wait!

There were 7 of us, all right?

3 were killed earlier.

and now mary.

Which leaves?

One, sheriff.

One. Yeah, that's right.

One, huh? Unaccounted for.

Where?

Huh?

In the bathroom!

In the bathroom. Stop it. Put that...

Oh, I truly hope he is,

for this little lady's sake here.

Why don't you ask the guy in the can

if he'd like to come join us?

Yes, sir.

You're not gonna get away with this.

Uhh!

What the fuck are you doin'?

Hands up.

Hands up? Hands up?

Would you like to put this away?

Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Put it away!

One minute.

Hang on.

You see this badge? Do you see this badge?

I am a federal marshal.

You had better be the president.

I don't care who you are, come on,

we got a little party for ya, buddy.

Do you have any fuckin' idea?

You know, you fuckin' people

have bitten off much more than you can chew.

You know that, don't ya?

You people are in very large trouble, ok?

You have no idea who you are messin' with.

I happen to be a personal friend

of the president!

20 years on the job,

I have never seen anything like this

in my entire life.

You know, you shit-kickers are lookin'

at murder, kidnapping,

interfering with a federal investigation,

and obstruction of justice.

You know that, don't you?

Sit down!

I got a message for you people...

I got a message for you.

Mine's got a better point.

Oh, yeah? Yeah? Yeah, well, surprise,

we've got backup on the way.

I don't think so.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, they're coming, ok.

They were called 4 hours ago.

Who the fuck stole my watch?

Uh...

I didn't make the call.

Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.

I can tell by your expression,

nobody else knows where you are.

They know.

Oh, ho, now, come on, susie-q.

We both played enough poker to know we're bluffin'.

You think?

Is the pope still catholic?

Why don't you look that shit up

in your redneck dictionary?

Huh.

Maybe it's another one of 'em.

Go bring him back.

You know I will.

Cocksucker.

Keep driving, mario,

or your brains'll be all over the windshield.

All right, try not to flinch.

Ha! Look at him. He shot out the tire.

Oh, dear.

It does look like your friend is toast,

don't it?

Hmm.

All right, stop the car.

Now, get out slowly and remember,

I have no compunction whatsoever

about shooting you in the back.

Go.

All right, you know the drill.

Hand behind ya.

All right, this way.

Down here.

Not here.

Not on the road.

What did you say?

Not on the road!

I thought so, you piece of shit!

You've known all along.

You've known exactly what's goin' on!

Fuck you.

I'm bleeding.

That's right, and you're gonna bleed a lot more

unless you tell me what the fuck is goin' on!

We can't stay on the road.

I know that part!

Now I wanna know why!

'Cause they kill anything on the road.

I know that! Why?!

What do you mean why?

They're coming! They're coming!

Oh, god, help me! Help me!

Aah!

Uncuff yourself.

Uncuff yourself!

Hurry!

Hurry!

Aah!

Oh! Oh!

No, don't! Stop!

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Keep an eye on 'em.

Yes, sir.

Gil?

Gil?

Ahhh!

There's a new marshal in town.

Stay with me. Look at me.

Look at me, look at me.

I am having such a bad day.

Who the hell are you?

Federal agent jack la roca.

I got a couple of questions for you,

but first...

that's for shooting a federal marshal.

And that's for shooting an unarmed woman, asshole.

where's gil?

You know, that sounded like a question to me.

Ask another and they'll be asking

where your face is!

Answer my questions and you might live.

In folsom at least you'll be alive.

Now where's my backup?

I said where the fuck...

They ain't coming!

Because?

I didn't call 'em.

Is this a game to you?

Do you think this is a fucking game?

Answer my question!

Not until you tell me what happened to my son.

Gil's my son.

They got him, didn't they?

They put him in the road.

Why? Why did they do that?

Oh, you don't know what you're up against.

That gun? It don't scare me.

It ain't gonna do either one of us no good

'cause if we stay close enough to this road, they'll come.

They can smell us.

They feed on blood,

and now they need more to keep strong.

If they don't get it, they gotta go back.

Under the road?

Under the road.

Where them sons-a-bitches belong.

You too, la roca.

I didn't have nothing to do with that.

Get down now.

I had nothing to do with it.

Get down now, la roca!

Come on, move it!

Open fire, boys!

They thought they were gonna run on my watch?

My god, I'm gonna fix it

so they can't never run again.

What are we gonna tell the warden, boss?

Tell him there's an accident.

Tell him they got caught up

under the... the roller.

We can't just bury them here,

right in the middle of the road.

Why not? This hellhole's as good a place as any

to bury garbage.

Tomorrow we'll put up 4 cheap markers...

Who the hell's to know?

You got a problem with that?

No, boss.

You son of a bitch!

You were the road boss!

You put them in the road!

You buried them alive!

I'm gonna put you in this fucking road!

You son of a bitch! You made this!

You're the reason the spirits are restless!

Why my father can't rest!

P.t., no.

Help.

Rabbit, get his gun. Let's go.

You gotta let us up!

They can smell us!

Dear god, I tell you!

No!

Hey!

That's mister boy to you.

Father!

Father.

Father!

Father!

Come on, you son of a bitch!

Come on!

Aaaaaaaah! Aaaah, aaah!

Aaaaaah! Aaaaaah!

Yowza, boss.

Route 66, take us home.

Seems kind of peaceful out here.

yeah.

Evil old man.

Kill him and bring peace to this road.

To the walking spirits.

To my soul.

That's what the man said.

Who?

The shaman in the cave.

What shaman?

What the fuck you been smoking, jack?

Yeah, it's a long story.

You know what, rabbit?

We might just get you to court on time.

Hey, it's a date.

Captioning made possible by trimark home video

captioned by the national captioning institute... www.ncicap.org...