Original subtitles

CRAVE ORIGINAL SERIES

I can't believe it's over with Martin. -Trust me, it's for the best.

It'll be OK.

Though we were a bad fit, I'm still saddened by it.

I get that.

Hey Eve! My favourite performer!

I'm here too!

I knew that. I was joking. You're also my favourite!

What is it?

I'm glad you're together becauseI had a brainstorm for the vineyard!

Hold on. Eve and Martin just broke up. We don't have time for this.

That's terrible... I just loved that guy.

Listen, I think Eve can handle the truth now.

That's great. He was so annoying. -What?

Take time to grieve and I'll tell youabout my stoke of genius later.

Condolences. I know you're sad. We're not but you are.

Could have been important. -The only important thing here is you.

Shooters!

Name two things you can see from space!

The Great Wall of China! -Yes! And Martin's wealth of knowledge!

I've been sitting on it for 20 minutes! -Tell us the 'optimal hug' thing!

He just wanted the perfect hug.

You need to purge it out of your system!

The goal is to mock him so much you'll never want to date him again.

That's what farewell parties are all about! C'mon, Eve!

The 'optimal hug'...

...lasts one 'I love you' followed by seven 'so much'.

What?!

I'm not sure I get it. Could you demonstrate?

- Hug him! - I will!

I love you.

So much, so much, so much, so much...

- Five, six, seven! - ...so much!

So corny!

Hi, I'm Martin and I'm on the keto diet!

From now on you are officially single.

Look at me.

That pussy's free!

Your pussy's free, hon! Free the pussy, everybody!

Free the pussy!

Pussy! Pussy! Pussy!

Pussy! Pussy!

Pussy!

Play the song!

♪ Bye asshole ♪

- It's Mart! - Where?

I didn't think it was really over.

Dunno what to say. It's not me it's you.

Don't think that's how it goes.

Yep.

Clear. Got it.

I wanted us to work.

But you're right, it's me.

If I weren't me you'd still love me.

C'mon, you're smart enough to understand that it's not always a fit.

I realized I need more than someone

who only wants to be in a relationship to save 35% on living costs.

- Everyone knows it's 24%. - I'm not those people.

We had some good times,

but this isn't working out...

Out, out, out, out, out, out.

- We were getting married! - But we didn't.

One less expense. It didn't cost you a dime.

Yep, bye!

Martin, everyone!

From Martin: Don't end things this way!

C'mon, Gloomy Gus, it's a party not a funeral!

Call me Gloomy Puss then.

Good one!

That's my only talent.

- What do you mean by that? - Martin has his flaws but

it makes me feel like I did, going to my uncle's to slaughter turkeys.

You know you have to do it

but you still feel guilty.

I think that he was wrong for you.

I think

that you need a man

who'll let you be the beautiful person that you are

and take you to new places.

I don't wanna go places.

Lots of guys are going nowhere.

Did we...?

Fuck?

Yeah.

What the hell?

- You slept with Ravi? - Looks like it.

What's with the clanking?

- It's disgusting. - It's just sex. Plus, you slept

with Tommy-Jay minutes after meeting him. I've known Ravi for years!

It's not the same with Tommy-Jay. We're building something...

beautiful, healthy, strong and... sincere!

- Has he texted you back yet? - Don't change the subject!

- It's only been 37 hours. - Look,

I only slept with Ravi 'cause I was sad. It's called a rebound.

Means I won't fall back into Martin's arms!

A drunken romp with Ravi means nothing.

- I'm right here. - Shut up!

- Right. - What are you so upset about?

I'm not your husband, he's not my secretary.

They're called executive assistants now. And Ravi's like my brother!

So what? -You're like my sister! It's incestuous.

Hello! Hi, Ravi.

- Yo, Steph! -"Yo, Steph"!

I hope now's a better time to talk. I see you had a party...

Couldn't have picked a better time! -I've got great news.

I found a professional sommelier to coach you girls!

Tristan. -I thought you hated our vineyard project.

I still think it's dumb 'cause it pulls focus from...

your two-one woman show. But...

all the celebrities have their own alcohol brand now,

so let's make the most out of it. -Eve can do it.

She's great at swallowing.

Is that so?

Takes one to know one!

Is that so?

Eve told me everything. You've every right to be mad. Who sleeps

with their best friend's brother? -Exactly! Thank you!

That said, Eve can't run the vineyard on her own.

- I know. - ML,

you're the leader of the pair.

You own a vineyard, need money, have tons of debt...

- Not after I sell my condo. - It hasn't sold yet?

Find me work!

Since you bought your vineyard, people think you're not available.

What a shit purchase! We should sell it!

Who's gonna buy a wineless vineyard?

I'm just trying to make the most out of it for you two.

If your wine ever proves drinkable,

it'll generate income and allow you to focus on your next show.

Enough. We're never doing that 2nd show! -C'mon, ML!

I need you!

You have the taste buds! You know Eve lost hers to flaming sambuca shots.

- Just breathe, Stéphane! - What? "Just breathe, Stéphane"? Just...

breathe...

Good.

You can't leave Eve to manage the vineyard on her own.

She'll sink it and take you down with her.

- Well, that was fun. - Really?

But it was a one-time thing. You saw ML's reaction!

Jesus! If we were to ever do that again,

I'm pretty sure we'd end up on a true crime show.

I don't get it. She insists that we're only friends.

Exactly. To her, you're dickless. -Yep. She sure likes to say that.

Dunno why we hooked up, though. Guess I needed confirmation that Martin and I

- are really over. - Sorry, am I interrupting

your post-coital post-mortem?

Marie-Lyne, hold on!

Oh! I dunno what's going on but I swore never to get in the middle of you two.

Then stay out of it.

Unless it affects your relationship. Just patch things up.

Don't forget your wine-tasting lesson with Tristan.

Between us, I've always seen you

as the level-headed one.

- Duh! - And the strong one.

- Yeah! - Tristan is a French sommelier

who's got tons of contacts in France and introduced me to the biggest bookers!

- You got me bookings in France? - We're on it.

- Who's 'we'? - My assistant and I.

- You don't have an assistant. - Well, 'I' then.

- Does ML know? - No.

Don't tell her. She's having a bad day.

The most important thing

is your nose.

My nose

is what makes me such a wine expert.

To make wine, one must first learn to drink it.

- OK. - How does one taste wine?

It's a two-step thing. First, you grab your glass and then you down it.

- 'Drink' it. - Sure.

Proper wine tasting

- means taking things slow. - Oh!

Gee! That might be hard for Eve

who never takes things slow or thinks before she acts.

At least I'm not a sour puss. Sorry, that's your regular expression.

- Yeah... - First, tell me,

- what do you know about wine? - We drink tons of it.

Red, white...

rosé, orange, bubbly,

table wine, cooking wine... Guaranteed hangovers.

Let me grab something from my car. Be right back.

Wow! You two really have a connection!

You need a rebound from your rebound. He could do the trick...

What? I've got a better chance at winning the lottery!

Dunno. 'The Nose' has a little something.

You have such low standards. That's no hunk.

He's clearly fuck-gly.

What?

You know, a guy who's fuckable and ugly?

Like Emmanuel Bilodeau.

- Hm... - Like my grandpa used to say,

"No big nose can overshadow beauty."

Do you think ML'll stay mad at me? -Nah.

She's not the type to hold a grudge.

But if I were you, I'd play it safe and wash the floor too.

- You think I should? - I was kidding.

You're her best friend.

You're a good guy who's always been there for her.

You know, my daughter...

might not realize it yet but you're the type of guy she needs.

All you need to be the perfect son-in-law...

is some ambition.

- Yeah? - Gimme a toke.

Yes, this is the Golden Duster!

Unfortunately we're not able to help you with this--

Hello! Lise Bouchard speaking.

Majority shareholder of the Golden Duster.

We're in high demand and there's a waiting list. What's your name?

Good. Very well, Monique.

We offer a tailor-made package called...

Spot On. We'll be calling you back shortly.

- What was that? - Lesson one.

- Never say no to a client. - OK, noted.

- What's lesson two? - Well, you better start working

- on the Spot On package. - Yeah!

You'll be learning how to sniff wine

using these samples.

Moccasin!

Phew!

- Smells like a gorilla! - It's leather.

- Sniff your glass of wine. - OK.

Urinal cake!

This feels like the perfect time for a break.

No. It's time for you to put away your smelling jars and take the real shit out.

I might have said it differently but I kinda agree with Eve.

Are you always like this?

- Like what? - Complementing each other.

She's always enjoyed copying me.

If I were to copy anyone, I'd pick someone funnier than me.

You know what? It is time for a break.

- Hi! - Are you leaving?

No. Just getting some air.

- I'm here for the placemats. - Placemats?

You know, table coverings on which a place setting is laid.

Sorry, she's an idiot.

Gladys and I did it every year.

Most clients find out about us from placemats at local diners.

We split it 50/50. I'd take and send the pictures

and Gladys would pay for the ad.

That's not 50/50.

He takes pictures, we pay. That's 50/50. You can count us in!

- We're not even selling wine. - Then we'll just pay.

Fine. I'll let you two settle this.

Thanks.

You never answered my text.

I told you I'm not a phone guy. -I get that.

It's all good. Sorry.

Just answer me when you see it...

Well, I'm here. What was it about?

I texted you "Good morning" yesterday with the monkey emoji.

OK! Well, good morning.

So, did you only come here to...

- discuss the placemats? - Pretty much, yeah.

And see you, but they really need our deposit.

I need like $200-$300 if you've got it. -Sure, I'll make a transfer.

And...

the security question will be,

"Who's the prettiest of them all?"

What's the answer?

Well, me.

Marie-Lyne. In two words.

M-a-r-i-e-dash-l-y-n-e. With a Y and an E.

Thanks.

I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for the way I reacted to the Ravi thing.

It's still stuck in my craw, but I'll get over it.

You could wash it down with some milk and toast.

Come here, you.

I love the feel of your boobs.

You're here!

Yeah, I caught a lift with Ravi. My mom is using the car today.

- I need to talk to you. - Same.

- OK. - I meant ML.

Want some coffee?

- Want some coffee? - You're talking to me? Yes.

I didn't mean to upset you.

It only happened once. Never again. OK?

It's just like skydiving. You do it once and that's enough.

Eve did like seven jumps and loves it. -Bad example.

I would have never done it if I'd known you'd be upset.

You know you have a special place in my heart.

And I think...

I might also have a special place in yours.

I love you almost as much as my mom.

What matters is that we made up. Are we OK?

We're OK.

- I wanted to ask you something. - What?

- Can I use your condo? - Your landlord caught you growing weed?

Not yet but it's coming.

Actually, the Golden Duster needs an office.

- And you've seen my place. - Too small and ugly?

I prefer 'cozy and unique',

but I'll accept your answer. Oh!

Your mom wants to help me! She'll pay for the condo

and I'll pay her back when I turn a profit.

- That's a terrible idea. - Aw.

Just terrible.

But...

if it'll keep my mom from scrapbooking all my old Facebook posts,

I'm all for it.

You smell great! Very sexy.

Stop!

Good news. I booked you five gigs in Paris.

- Really? - The French'll adore you!

It'll look great on your resume and could even be life-changing.

- So you're going to France? - You didn't tell her.

I was waiting for her to calm down. -You're still hiding things!

When we first started out, we vowed never to hide anything from one another.

Yeah...

But this is Europe so it doesn't apply. Remember the European clause.

- Remember the European clause. - There's no such thing!

- There's no such thing. - Nope!

Sorry for barging in but you never check your messages.

Who the hell does she think she is? Now it's France, earlier it was sleeping

with my best friend!

Seriously!? C'mon.

- So, this is about Eve? - The traitor, yes.

Who exactly is gonna run the vineyard while she tries to become a star?

Me! Alone without anyone's help! I'm always stuck doing everything!

Sorry...

I'm just at the...

Listen.

I know it's not easy to watch someone accomplish something you wish you'd done.

But you can't clip her wings.

Her success

doesn't take anything away from you.

You need to have the freedom to thrive in any kind of relationship.

As I always say,

is it love

if it's restrictive?

I'm not sure I follow.

Eve being fulfilled and free can only be positive for you both.

- That was... - You follow?

I'm trying to.

Eve is your friend.

Yes. -You can't blame her for having dreams.

Perhaps you should focus on helping her achieving them.

You're right.

Go see your friend.

Aw, you... You always find the right words.

Go see your friend.

Listen, Eve, I'm sorry. I had no reason to be upset.

Not doing this with you made me feel insecure

but I now realize this is not personal.

There.

It's just something I want to do.

I know. And I'm happy for you. I want you to be happy.

- This is really moving. - Ah! Jesus! Stéphane!

Stop scaring us!

- Am I? - So,

how about we promise never to keep anything from each other? Again.

I promise.

- Again. - Good.

Good! That's great, girls.

Now you can work together on both your careers and the vineyard.

By the way, where's Tristan? Wasn't he coming back today?

Tommy-Jay was ignoring me so I slept with him.

Then to scare him off, I told him I loved him. That always works.

- You slept with 'The Nose'? - I did.

I know how to wake you up.

Oh... that nose!

You could have told me you banged him.

Sorry, that falls under the European clause.

Actually, I'm just scared you'll end up hurting ML.

- You gotta emerge yourself. - Do you mean 'immerse.?

This wine is from my vineyard. Tell me where you got it from.