Original subtitles

Nicole: I HATE WHAT MY LIFE HAS BECOME.

AND IF I DON'T CHANGE,

I'M NOT GONNA BE HERE MUCH LONGER.

Man: NOT FOR ONE MINUTE THAT I THOUGHT

MY LIFE WOULD END UP LIKE THIS.

OW, MY LEG!

Woman #1: I'M SO FAR GONE.

Woman #2: I ABSOLUTELY NEED HELP, OR I AM GONNA DIE.

-I CAN'T DO THIS. -WELL, I'M RIGHT UNDER YOU.

-I NEED OVER! -YOU'RE FINE.

-YOU'RE FINE. -I HATE THIS.

Woman #3: I FEEL LIKE I LET MY KIDS DOWN.

INSTEAD OF ME TAKING CARE OF THEM,

THEY'RE BEEN TAKING CARE OF ME.

IT'S YOU -- YOU ARE THE ONE KILLING HIM.

CHARLIE, YOU KNOW WHAT? IF YOU AREN'T GONNA BE

SUPPORTIVE, YOU CAN [BLEEP] LEAVE!

I AM BEING SUPPORTIVE! THAT'S WHY I'M HERE!

Nicole: I SHOULD'VE NEVER TRIED TO DO THIS.

-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

Nicole: SOMETIMES YOU CAN'T CONTROL

THE PLACES YOU END UP IN LIFE.

AND THE CHOICES YOU MAKE IN THE HARD PLACES

ARE WHAT DETERMINE YOU FUTURE, ABOVE ALL ELSE.

**

[ GRUNTS ]

EVERY DAY WHEN I GET UP, I FEEL LIKE I'M DYING.

BECAUSE IT'S VERY HARD FOR ME TO BREATHE,

AND MY LUNGS FEEL VERY COMPRESSED.

SO I HAVE TO TAKE EXTRA DEEP BREATHS IN

JUST TO BE ABLE TO MOVE.

AND MY BACK HURTS.

MY BODY JUST TREMBLES IN PAIN.

AND IT NEVER ENDS.

IT JUST GETS WORSE.

AND IT'S HELL TO GET OUT OF BED.

BUT AS SOON AS I GET UP IN THE MORNING,

I GOT TO EAT SOMETHING, OR I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA THROW UP.

SO I KEEP SOMETHING TO SNACK ON IN MY ROOM.

BUT I STILL CAN'T GET UP TO GET IT MYSELF.

-CHARLIE! -YEAH?

CAN YOU PLEASE COME HERE?

CAN YOU PLEASE GET ME THOSE POTATO CHIPS?

I'M GONNA GO GATHER ALL YOUR BATH STUFF.

THANK YOU.

I'VE GOTTEN SO BIG

THAT I CAN BARELY GET UP AND GET AROUND.

SO MY PARENTS LIVE WITH US

TO HELP TAKE CARE OF ME AND MY TWO KIDS.

BUT USUALLY IT'S CHARLIE WHO HELPS ME IN THE MORNING.

I CAN'T FIT THROUGH THE BATHROOM DOOR ANYMORE,

SO THEY HAVE TO TAKE EVERYTHING OUTSIDE ON THE BACK PORCH.

AND I BATHE THERE.

MY DAD HOOKS UP A GARDEN HOSE

TO THE HOT WATER, THE WASHER,

AND RUNS IT OUTSIDE...

BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE CLEANED OUTSIDE LIKE AN ANIMAL.

CHARLIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

-PLEASE HELP ME. -WHAT DO YOU NEED?

IT'S VERY EMBARRASSING.

WHO SITS BUTT-NAKED IN A WHEELCHAIR

ON THEIR BACK PORCH TO GET A SHOWER?

SHOES, PLEASE.

YOU BATHE YOUR DOG IN YOUR BACKYARD.

YOU DON'T BATHE YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

BUT I DON'T HAVE ANOTHER OPTION.

EVEN THOUGH CHARLIE'S VERY DEVOTED TO ME,

I FEEL VERY HUMILIATED.

I KNOW CHARLIE SAYS HE DOESN'T MIND,

BUT IT'S NOT RIGHT THAT HE HAS TO DO THIS FOR ME.

Charlie: NICOLE TELLS ME THAT IT'S VERY HUMILIATING

THAT I HAVE TO HOSE HER BUTT.

IT'S GROSS SOMETIMES,

BUT IT'S WHAT I GOT TO DO TO TAKE CARE OF THE WOMAN I LOVE.

AND I WOULD JUMP THROUGH FLAMING HOOPS FOR HER.

ALL RIGHT.

A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE PROBLEMS,

AND THEY CAN JUST LEAVE THEM AT HOME OR HIDE THEM.

I CAN'T HIDE MY PROBLEM. IT'S VISIBLE FOR EVERYBODY.

BEING MY WEIGHT IS HORRIBLE...

BECAUSE I CAN BARELY EVEN FUNCTION.

I JUST HATE MY WHOLE BODY.

BUT I HATE MY STOMACH THE MOST.

IT HURTS, AND IT'S HANGING.

AND SOMETIMES IT ALMOST FEELS

LIKE IT'S GONNA RIP OFF MY BODY.

YEAH, LEAN BACK.

I'M SICK OF FEELING LIKE THIS.

I'M SICK OF LOOKING LIKE THIS.

AND I'M SICK OF NOT BEING ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF...

BECAUSE I FEEL VERY TRAPPED.

THIS IS NOWHERE NEAR WHERE I THOUGHT I WOULD END UP.

AND I DON'T RECOGNIZE MYSELF ANYMORE.

I WOULD'VE NEVER IMAGINED THAT I WOULD BECOME SOMETHING I HATE.

I'VE STRUGGLED WITH MY WEIGHT ALMOST MY ENTIRE LIFE.

AND EVEN AS A TODDLER,

I REMEMBER FOOD IS WHAT MADE ME HAPPY.

WHEN I WAS LITTLE, ME AND MY MOM NEVER REALLY GOT ALONG

BECAUSE SHE HAD A REALLY BAD TEMPER

AND WOULD EXPLODE ON ME

FOR THINGS THAT I JUST DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.

AND WHEN THAT HAPPENED,

I WOULD ALWAYS RUN TO THE GARAGE

BECAUSE MY DAD WAS OUT THERE WORKING ON SOMETHING.

MY DAD WOULD CALL ME A DADDY'S GIRL

BECAUSE I WOULD JUST ALWAYS WANT TO BE AROUND HIM.

SO I WOULD JUST SIT WITH HIM,

AND HE WOULD ALWAYS GIVE ME A SNACK.

AND THAT WAS SAFETY.

Jim: NICOLE WAS A HAPPY, KIND OF BIG CHILD GROWING UP.

WE HAD A REAL CLOSE RELATIONSHIP.

WHEN SHE WAS 7 OR 8 YEARS OLD,

I NOTICED SHE WAS REALLY HEAVY FOR HER AGE.

AND I THOUGHT SHE'D LOSE THE WEIGHT WHEN SHE GOT OLDER.

BUT SHE JUST KEPT GETTING BIGGER AND BIGGER AND BIGGER.

Nicole: I NEVER WANTED TO LEAVE HIS SIDE.

BUT MY DAD WAS A TRUCK DRIVER, SO HE WAS ON THE ROAD A LOT.

AND WHEN HE WASN'T THERE, ALL I HAD TO RUN TO WAS FOOD.

AND BY THE TIME I WAS 14, I WAS WELL OVER 200 POUNDS.

BUT THEN THINGS GOT EVEN WORSE.

MY DAD STARTED USING COCAINE ON THE ROAD.

AND HE BROUGHT IT HOME TO MY MOM.

SO THEY BOTH GOT ADDICTED.

AND THINGS GOT A LOT MORE VIOLENT IN OUR HOUSE AFTER THAT.

MY DAD AND MOM WOULD GET SO ANGRY

BECAUSE THEY WOULD RUN OUT OF COCAINE.

MY MOM WOULD STAY UP FOR HOURS

SCREAMING AND CRYING FOR MORE DRUGS.

SO I WAS SCARED.

AND WHEN MY PARENTS WERE DOING THE DRUGS,

I WOULD GET SO MAD.

I WOULD SCREAM AND HOLLER AT THEM.

AND THEY'D JUST IGNORE ME.

AND I WOULD GO IN MY ROOM AND EAT AND LAY ON MY BED

AND JUST CRY FOR HOURS TILL I FELL ASLEEP.

FOOD WAS A COMFORT TO ME BECAUSE WHEN I WOULD EAT SOMETHING

AND I WOULD BECOME FULL, I FELT COMFORTABLE.

I FELT SAFE. I FELT SECURE.

AND SO I JUST DIDN'T STOP EATING.

AND BY THE TIME I WAS 16, I WAS APPROACHING 400 POUNDS.

AND THAT'S WHEN MY DAD GOT ARRESTED

AND WENT TO PRISON FOR DRUGS.

IT WAS A VERY DIFFICULT TIME FOR ME AND MY MOM

BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T HAVE A JOB,

SO WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY MONEY.

WE WERE FORCED TO LEAVE

THE HOUSE WE WERE RENTING AT THE TIME.

AND WE HAD NOWHERE TO GO, SO WE BECAME HOMELESS.

WE HAD TO RELY ON SOUP KITCHENS.

AND ALL THE SOUP KITCHENS WOULD SERVE WAS, LIKE,

PASTA AND HIGH-FATTENING FOODS.

AND LIVING MEAL TO MEAL IS SCARY.

SO WHEN I ATE, I ATE AS MUCH AS I COULD.

AND BY THE TIME MY DAD GOT OUT OF PRISON,

WHEN I WAS 18, I WAS UP TO 500 POUNDS.

AND WITH MY DAD HOME AGAIN,

WE WERE ABLE TO GET A HOUSE AND GET OFF THE STREETS.

BUT EVEN AFTER HIM BEING SOBER IN PRISON FOR TWO YEARS,

HIM AND MY MOM GOT RIGHT BACK INTO DRUGS.

AND SO I MOVED OUT.

AND THAT WAS THE ONLY TIME IN MY LIFE

WHEN I FELT A LITTLE NORMAL.

I GOT A JOB,

AND I EVEN STARTED EXERCISING A LITTLE.

AND EVEN THOUGH I WAS VERY BIG,

I WAS JUST YOUR AVERAGE GIRL THAT JUST LOVED HAVING FUN --

DRIVING AROUND, LISTENING TO MUSIC,

GOING TO CONCERTS.

I WAS JUST VERY OUTGOING.

AND I EVEN STARTED DATING SOMEONE.

AND THEN WHEN I WAS 20, I GOT PREGNANT WITH MY SON.

AND MY BOYFRIEND GOT SCARED AND LEFT ME AND HIS CHILD.

AND I ENDED UP GETTING BLOOD CLOTS.

SO I HAD TO STAY ON BED REST.

AND I REMEMBER A DOCTOR

LOOKING ME RIGHT IN MY FACE SAYING,

"NICOLE, IF I TAKE YOU OFF THIS I.V. AND YOU GO HOME,

YOU'RE GOING TO DIE."

I DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE MY BABY.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE MY LIFE.

AND I DIDN'T HAVE ANYONE TO TURN TO.

BUT THAT'S WHEN I MET CHARLIE.

WE MET ONLINE.

AND HE WAS VERY NICE TO ME.

I WAS VERY RUDE TO HIM.

I TOLD HIM TO LEAVE ME ALONE. I DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO HIM.

BECAUSE I WAS STILL HURT WITH THE FACT

THAT JADEN'S DAD JUST LEFT.

AND CHARLIE JUST KEPT ASKING ABOUT ME

AND ASKING HOW I WAS DOING.

AND I FELT LIKE SOMEONE CARED ABOUT ME.

SO HE WENT TO MY ULTRASOUND APPOINTMENT WITH ME.

AND CHARLIE ASKED ME IF I WOULD BE HIS GIRLFRIEND.

Charlie: THE FIRST TIME I SAW NICOLE, MY JAW DROPPED.

I WAS LIKE, "WOW. LOOK AT HER."

AND THE BLUE EYES LOOKED AT ME,

AND I JUST MELTED RIGHT THEN AND THERE.

Nicole: SO CHARLIE STARTED TAKING CARE OF ME.

AND I STAYED BEDRIDDEN UNTIL I GAVE BIRTH.

AND I ENDED UP GAINING 120 POUNDS DURING THAT TIME.

AND JADEN ACTUALLY CAME OUT NOT BREATHING.

HIS BODY HAD A VERY BAD DIABETIC ATTACK

BECAUSE HE WASN'T RECEIVING SUGAR FROM MY BODY ANYMORE.

AND THAT WAS BECAUSE OF ME.

I WAS OVER 600 POUNDS THEN.

AND IT ALMOST KILLED MY NEWBORN CHILD.

AND AFTER I HAD JADEN,

I COULDN'T GET UP AND DO MUCH ANYMORE,

SO CHARLIE KEPT TAKING CARE OF ME.

AND WHEN I WAS 22,

I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY SECOND CHILD.

I GAVE BIRTH TO SHELBY.

I'D PUT ON SO MUCH WEIGHT,

I EITHER HAD TO STAY IN BED ALL DAY

OR USE A WHEELCHAIR TO GET AROUND...

...WHICH FORCED MY PARENTS TO MOVE IN WITH ME.

BUT I MADE THEM PROMISE THAT THEY WERE DRUG-FREE.

AND I TOLD THEM IF THEY BROUGHT DRUGS INTO MY HOUSE,

THEY WOULD BE GONE IN A HEARTBEAT.

BUT IF THAT HAPPENED, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'D DO.

ADDICTION DESTROYED MY CHILDHOOD.

AND I DON'T WANT THAT FOR THEM.

BUT NOW I'M 23 YEARS OLD,

AND I CAN BARELY WALK FOR MORE THAN A MINUTE.

AND I CAN'T TAKE CARE OF MYSELF OR MY KIDS ON MY OWN.

BUT I HATE HAVING TO RELY ON MY PARENTS.

Darlene: JADEN'S IN THE BATHROOM!

BETTER GET HIM OUT OF THERE, HON!

Nicole: AND MY MOM DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THEM

ALL THE TIME, EITHER.

SHE ONLY DOES IT SO I DON'T LOSE THEM.

BUT IT FRUSTRATES HER.

JADEN.

JADE, COME HERE.

COME HERE. JADEN, PLEASE?

CAN YOU SHUT THE WATER OFF AND COME WITH MOMMY?

JADEN, PLEASE COME ON!

OKAY.

I CAN'T FIT IN THE BATHROOM DOOR.

I CAN'T FIT IN THE BATHROOM DOOR, MOM.

Darlene: ALL RIGHT. I'LL GET HIM.

Nicole: I CAN'T TAKE CARE OF MY KIDS.

BUT THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW.

YEAH, I'M JUST SCARED HE'S GONNA GET AHOLD OF...

GET AHOLD OF THAT HANDLE

AND GET ON THE HOT SIDE AND HURT HIMSELF.

COME HERE, SHELBY.

YOU GO IN THERE...

LORD ONLY KNOWS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN.

Nicole: AND MY MOM GETS UPSET

BECAUSE I'M SO BIG, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, JADEN?

I'M JUST SICK OF THIS [BLEEP]

I NEED HELP WITH THESE DAMN KIDS!

SHE GETS UPSET LIKE SHE DID WHEN I WAS A CHILD,

AND SHE TAKES IT OUT ON ME AND MY KIDS.

SOMETIMES SHE'LL CALL ME A FAT ASS

OR JUST SOME REALLY VULGAR THINGS

WHEN SHE'S UPSET OR FRUSTRATED.

AND IT HURTS ME THAT MY KIDS THINK

THEIR GRANDMOTHER IS THEIR MOM AND THAT I'M NOT EVEN A PARENT.

GO ON.

ONE TIME, I SAID TO MY SON, "DO YOU LOVE MAMA?"

AND HE LOOKED OVER AT MY MOM AND SMILED.

AND IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE HE WAS CALLING HER MAMA.

AND THAT'S VERY HURTFUL.

[ LAUGHING ]

I KNOW THAT HOW I'M LIVING RIGHT NOW

CAN'T GO ON FOR MUCH LONGER.

SOMETHING'S GONNA BREAK.

EITHER MY BODY'S GONNA GIVE OUT

OR MY WHOLE HOME LIFE IS GOING TO FALL APART.

**

Nicole: I HATE WHAT MY LIFE HAS BECOME.

AND I'M ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE...

BECAUSE ALL I DO IS SIT IN THIS HOUSE ALL DAY.

LA LA LA!

I DON'T LEAVE EXCEPT TO GET FOOD,

BECAUSE WHEN I'M HUNGRY,

THAT'S WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT TO ME.

BUT I CAN BARELY MAKE IT TO THE CAR.

AND THEN I CAN BARELY FIT.

BUT I STILL HAVE TO GO OUT,

BECAUSE IF I DON'T DO IT,

CHARLIE WON'T GET THE RIGHT STUFF.

AND THEN I WON'T BE ABLE TO MAKE WHAT I WANT FOR MY FAMILY.

I'M GONNA MAKE MEAT LOAF FOR DINNER,

SO I DEFINITELY NEED TO GET, LIKE, HAMBURGER,

BUTTER, MASHED POTATOES, SOME MACARONI AND CHEESE.

GOT TO HAVE YOUR POP.

I DEFINITELY HAVE TO HAVE POP.

Nicole: SHOPPING FOR FOOD IS THE ONLY FUN THING I CAN DO.

BUT I CAN'T GET AROUND EASILY.

AND WHEN I GO TO A STORE,

I CAN'T RIDE ONE OF THE ELECTRIC CARTS

BECAUSE I'M TOO BIG.

SO I HAVE TO BE PUSHED AROUND IN MY WHEELCHAIR.

I'LL FLAT-OUT MOVE IT. I DON'T CARE.

I'LL MOVE WHATEVER I GOT TO MOVE.

EVEN THOUGH IT'S VERY DIFFICULT TO GET AROUND,

I TRULY LOVE SHOPPING FOR FOOD.

TO SEE ALL THE SELECTIONS AND OPTIONS

MAKES IT WORTH HOW HARD IT IS.

THAT'S ONE THING THAT BRINGS US TOGETHER, IS OUR LOVE OF...

FOOD, BUT CHIPS, MOST DEFINITELY.

WE'RE CHIP CONNOISSEURS.

OH, YEAH.

BUT IT IS EMBARRASSING WHEN THERE'S MOMENTS

WHERE I CAN'T PASS SOMETHING BECAUSE I'M SO BIG.

WHEN THAT HAPPENS, I FEEL SO ANXIOUS...

BECAUSE I KNOW PEOPLE ARE STARING.

JUST A LITTLE BIT. CHARLIE.

LET'S GET YOU THROUGH HERE, AND I'LL DO THAT.

-YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO -- -I'LL JUST LEAVE THEM THERE.

BUT WHEN THAT HAPPENS,

I START TO FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA PANIC.

AND ALL I WANT IS FOOD.

ALL RIGHT. READY?

WHEW. THAT WAS VERY INTENSE.

BUT I KNOW THE SOONER I GET THE SHOPPING DONE,

THE SOONER I CAN EAT.

THANK YOU.

HERE.

CANDY. MY LOVE.

OH, MY GOSH. SO EXCITED.

ANOTHER FAVORITE PART OF THE ENTIRE TRIP

IS GETTING WHAT I WANT.

THAT'S MY FAVORITE PART.

CHARLIE LOVES FOOD, TOO.

AND GROCERY SHOPPING IS THE ONLY TIME

WE GET TO DO SOMETHING TOGETHER.

IT'S KINDA ROMANTIC IN A WAY.

WANT TO TRY?

OH, REALLY?

OKAY? [ LAUGHS ]

LOVE YOU.

BUT AFTER WE SHOP, I CAN'T WAIT TO GET HOME AND EAT.

WHEN I THINK ABOUT WHAT I JUST BOUGHT...

...I'M LIKE, "I HAVE TO HAVE SOME OF THAT."

HI, BABY.

AND COOKING IS THE ONLY THING I STILL DO ON MY OWN.

BUT I'M NOT ABLE TO STAND IN THE KITCHEN AND DO IT.

AND I'M NOT ABLE TO MOVE AROUND IN MY WHEELCHAIR

IN MY KITCHEN.

OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

SO I DO ALL THE FOOD PREPARING FROM THE COUCH

'CAUSE I ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO COOK.

AND I TAKE MY FOOD VERY SERIOUSLY.

AND WHEN I WANT SOMETHING PARTICULAR,

I WON'T LET ANYONE ELSE MAKE IT

BECAUSE IT HAS TO BE DONE EXACTLY RIGHT

SO IT TASTES AS GOOD AS IT SHOULD.

AND I'M NOT LETTING ANYONE MESS IT UP.

ALL RIGHT. IT'S READY FOR THE OVEN.

ALL RIGHT.

WHEN I KNOW THAT THERE'S A MEAL BEING COOKED,

I JUST START GETTING REALLY EXCITED.

I START CRAVING THE FOOD.

I NEED TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT'S BEING COOKED

SO I PREPARE MENTALLY FOR IT.

AND I JUST START FREAKING OUT.

NICOLE'S BEHAVIOR WITH FOOD IS NOT NORMAL.

IF SHE IS HUNGRY, SHE WANTS FOOD.

SHE WANTS IT NOW.

GIVE ME SOME YUM-YUM.

I WANT SOME NUM-NUM.

BUT WHEN I GIVE HER LARGE PORTIONS,

I KNOW IT'S HURTING HER.

I KNOW IT'S DAMAGING HER BODY.

BUT I SEE THAT SHE'S HAPPY.

AND I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO MAKE NICOLE HAPPY.

BUT WHO KNOWS HOW MUCH BIGGER SHE COULD GET

BEFORE IT'S TOO MUCH?

Nicole: FOOD IS JUST SIMPLY AMAZING TO ME.

AND IT'S HARD TO STOP EATING.

I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE I'VE HAD ENOUGH FOOD IN ME.

Darlene: I'M DEFINITELY AFRAID FOR NICOLE'S LIFE.

THE DOCTORS TOLD HER,

"TIME YOU'RE 25, YOU'LL BE IN A WHEELCHAIR.

TIME YOU'RE 30, YOU'LL BE DEAD."

Jim: I'M VERY WORRIED THAT OUR GRANDCHILDREN

ARE GONNA GROW UP WITHOUT A MOTHER,

BECAUSE I'M AFRAID SHE'S GONNA DIE.

I'M AFRAID FOR HER LIFE.

Nicole: FOOD IS SOMETHING THAT MY BODY DEPENDS ON TO SURVIVE.

SO IT'S LIKE PLAYING RUSSIAN ROULETTE WITH MY LIFE.

AND I DON'T WANT MY CHILDREN TO GROW UP WITHOUT A MOM.

AND I KNOW THAT IF I DON'T CHANGE,

I'M NOT GONNA BE HERE MUCH LONGER.

**

CHARLIE, CAN YOU HELP ME?

I KNOW I NEED HELP NOW.

AND DR. NOWZARADAN MAY BE THE LAST CHANCE I HAVE TO GET IT.

SO I'VE MADE AN APPOINTMENT TO SEE HIM.

AND MY FAMILY'S PACKING EVERYTHING UP

SO WE CAN MOVE TO HOUSTON

SO I CAN TRY AND JOIN HIS PROGRAM.

I'M PUTTING MY LIFE ON THE LINE

HOPING THAT I GET ACCEPTED BY HIM.

AND IT'S THE BIGGEST RISK I'VE EVER TAKEN.

BUT I HAVE NO OTHER OPTIONS.

BUT MY PARENTS ARE KIND OF STRESSED OUT ABOUT MOVING.

AND I KNOW THIS IS THE LAST THING THEY WANT TO DO.

WATCH OUT, JADEN!

IF Y'ALL CAN'T HELP MOVE,

COULD YOU PLEASE AT LEAST WATCH THE KIDS?!

I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GO.

I WOULDN'T GO IF IT WASN'T FOR MY DAUGHTER.

NICOLE'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME.

BUT THIS IS A LIFESAVING THING FOR MY DAUGHTER,

AND I HAVE TO DO IT.

Nicole: THIS IS JUST A LOT OF PRESSURE.

BUT ALL THE SCREAMING

AND EVERYONE BEING UPSET REALLY STRESSES ME OUT.

BECAUSE I JUST WANT TO GET HELP.

I GOT MY KIDS AND MYSELF, AND THAT'S ALL I EVEN CARE ABOUT.

YOU CAN GO ABOUT YOUR OWN WAY. THIS IS FOR ME.

THIS IS A NEW BEGINNING FOR ME.

AND I DON'T CARE WHAT'S LEFT BEHIND.

YOU ARE EITHER WITH ME OR YOU'RE WITHOUT ME.

I AM GOING TO TEXAS.

AND I AM GONNA SEE DR. NOW,

AND I'M GONNA COMPLY WITH WHAT HE SAYS,

AND I'M GONNA GET THIS WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

AND I'M GONNA BE ONE OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL PATIENTS HE'S HAD.

OH, WEIRD.

I HAVE TO DO THIS...

BECAUSE THIS IS MY LAST AND ONLY CHANCE

TO SAVE MY LIFE AND BE THERE FOR MY KIDS.

AND EITHER MY FAMILY CAN HELP ME

OR THEY CAN GET OUT OF MY WAY.

WE'VE BEEN ON THE ROAD FOR ABOUT 10 HOURS NOW.

AND WE'RE GONNA TRY TO MAKE IT TO ALABAMA TODAY,

WHICH IS ABOUT 7, 7.5-HOUR DRIVE.

BUT I'M WORRIED THAT HAVING TO SIT WITH MY LEGS ALL CRAMPED UP,

IF MY KNEES ARE GONNA BE ABLE TO TAKE IT.

AND IT'S HECTIC IN HERE

BECAUSE EVERYTHING'S PILED ON TOP OF EACH OTHER --

OUR TWO KIDS, OUR TWO CATS, MY PARENTS' TWO CATS.

PLUS, OUR DOG IS ON THIS TRIP WITH US.

I JUST HOPE THE TRIP GOES EASY, BECAUSE THIS IS A LONG HAUL.

[ CHILD HOLLERS ]

DO YOU WANT TO DRIVE?

IT'S HOT IN HERE, AND I'M GETTING IRRITATED.

WELL, SHUT UP.

I'M REALLY STRESSED OUT AND UPSET RIGHT NOW,

SO ALL I WANT TO DO IS EAT.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO GET THE KIDS?

-SOME NUGGETS? -I DON'T KNOW.

I'M JUST -- I'M HOT, CHARLIE.

THIS...

I NEED, UM, TWO DOUBLE-PATTY BURGERS

WITH TWO FRIES AND A LARGE COKE.

THANK YOU.

YES.

WHEN I GET STRESSED LIKE THIS AND I WANT TO EAT,

I START TO THINK ABOUT ALL THE THINGS I'M CRAVING.

AND ONE PLACE AIN'T GONNA HAVE EVERYTHING I WANT.

I JUST WANT THE OVEN-ROASTED CHICKEN,

UM, ON THAT ONE KIND OF BREAD --

ITALIAN HERB AND CHEESE.

FOOT-LONG.

I CAN'T HELP BUT GIVE IN TO MY CRAVINGS AND EAT EVERYTHING.

THERE'S NOTHING LIKE UNWRAPPING A BURGER,

AND YOU GET THAT HOT WRAPPER CHEESE.

BURGER'S JUST FRESH AND JUST SO IRRESISTIBLE.

THE CATS ARE DYING, CHARLIE.

THEY NEED TO BE IN AIR-CONDITIONING.

EATING WHAT I WANT IS THE ONLY THING

THAT COULD STOP THE PANIC ATTACKS.

AND IF I CAN'T GET THAT, I JUST GET ANGRIER.

I DON'T LIKE IT, BUT I CAN'T HELP IT.

I THINK THE KIDS NEED THEIR ACTS CHANGED.

I DON'T KNOW.

COME ON, CHARLIE.

-WHAT? -THEY'RE MISERABLE, MAN.

I UNDERSTAND THAT! LET'S GO!

QUIT, DUDE.

I JUST WANT TO GET ON THE ROAD AND GET TO HOUSTON.

TODAY, I'VE BEEN JUST ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE

IN THE FRONT SEAT OF THIS VEHICLE.

WE'VE BEEN ON THE ROAD FOR ABOUT 18 HOURS,

AND WE STILL HAVEN'T MADE IT TO ALABAMA,

WHERE WE PLAN TO STOP FOR THE NIGHT.

BUT I CAN'T GO MUCH FURTHER.

I NEED A BED, AND I HAVE TO SLEEP.

[ GROANS ]

OH, MY KNEES.

Charlie: BE CAREFUL, BABE.

GOT A BIG BATHTUB RIGHT HERE, HUH?

GIVE THE KIDS A BATH?

[ GASPING ]

-YOU ALL RIGHT? -NO.

PLEASE.

-PLEASE. ALL RIGHT. -ONE, TWO, THREE.

[ GRUNTS ]

THE WHOLE BED [BLEEP] SLID OUT ON ME.

Charlie: OKAY, UM... IT'S ON WHEELS.

WHAT THE [BLEEP] WE C-- IT --

I MEAN, WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT? [ SOBS ]

NO! JUST [BLEEP] SHUT UP, MOM!

[ BREATHING RAPIDLY ]

CHARLIE, I CAN'T SLEEP ON THIS BED.

YOU DIDN'T WANT TO PAY THE OTHER PRICE FOR THE OTHER ROOM, SO...

WELL, THEY SAID IT WAS UPSTAIRS.

[BLEEP] IDIOT.

I CAN'T GET ON IT, CHARLIE. I CAN'T.

JUST GIVE ME THE CHAIR OVER THERE.

I CAN'T DO THIS.

[ SOBBING ]

MY BACK HURTS! I CAN'T HARDLY BREATHE!

CHARLIE, YOU KNOW WHAT? IF YOU AREN'T GONNA

BE SUPPORTIVE, YOU CAN [BLEEP] LEAVE!

I AM BEING SUPPORTIVE! THAT'S WHY I'M HERE!

IT'S STUPID WOOD IN HERE. IT'S STUPID.

WHY WOULD THEY PUT WOOD ON A FLOOR IN A HOTEL?

TO MAKE IT LOOK NICE?

EVERY DAMN THING I SAY,

YOU CONTRADICT AND TALK [BLEEP] YOU LITTLE [BLEEP]

I ABOUT HIT THE FLOOR, AND I HAD TO HOLD MY BODY WEIGHT UP

BECAUSE HE WASN'T IN HERE AND JUST LALLYGAGGED.

LALLYGAG? I WAS GETTING THE BAGS AND STUFF!

Jim: WELL, I SAY YOU TRY IT AGAIN, NIKKI, BEFORE YOU --

OKAY, LET'S JUST TRY IT AGAIN! YOU BUNCH OF BASTARDS!

[ JADEN CRYING ]

[ GROANING ]

WE'LL TAKE THE MATTRESS AND THE BOX SPRING OFF.

WE'RE GONNA PUT THAT DOWN.

OH, MY GOD.

Nicole: THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH FOR ME.

I SHOULD'VE NEVER LEFT AND TRIED TO DO THIS.

**

CHARLIE. COME ON, NOW, WE GOT TO GET GOING.

WE GOT A LONG TRIP.

I KNOW.

I'LL DO ONE LAST LOOK OVER THE ROOM, AND...

-OKAY. -...GET IN THE TRUCK.

OHH.

Nicole: LAST NIGHT WAS MISERABLE.

AND I KNOW I OVERREACTED.

BUT WHEN THE BED SLIPPED, IT REALLY SCARED ME.

BECAUSE IF I HAD FALLEN,

I KNOW I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GET BACK UP.

SO I HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF WHY I'M DOING THIS.

I'M 23 YEARS OLD,

AND THERE IS SO MUCH I'VE NEVER SEEN

BECAUSE I'VE BEEN TRAPPED IN A ROOM.

OH, MY GOD. THAT'S GORGEOUS.

LOOK AT THAT. THE WATER.

OH, MY GOD. IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

MY WEIGHT'S MADE ME A PRISONER.

AND THERE IS SO MUCH LIFE I'M MISSING.

BUT AS DESPERATELY AS I WANT TO CHANGE,

WHEN I GET STRESSED OUT, I JUST WANT TO EAT.

-WHOA! -WHAT?

THAT CAR JUST ABOUT CUT US OFF.

WHY ARE WE GOING 90?!

I'M TRYING TO CATCH UP WITH YOUR DAD.

I'M GONNA PASS THIS TRUCK, GET OVER.

DON'T GET TOO CLOSE TO THAT WALL, BUD!

SLOW DOWN, PLEASE! I WISH YOU'D PUT THAT CIGAR OUT!

PLEASE! PLEASE!

-IT'S ALL RIGHT, NIKKI. -NO.

OH, GOD.

WHEN I'M UNCOMFORTABLE OR HAVE ANXIETY,

FOOD'S, LIKE, A GATEWAY TO HAPPINESS.

YOU DON'T LISTEN, DUDE, AT ALL.

I'M NOT LIGHTING IT YET. I WAS HOLDING IT.

-WHY DO YOU ACT LIKE THAT? -ACT LIKE WHAT, DUDE?

YOU'RE RUNNING YOUR MOUTH, MAN.

WE'VE BEEN DRIVING FOR ALMOST TWO DAYS STRAIGHT.

ENTERING TEXAS.

WE'RE ENTERING TEXAS RIGHT NOW.

OH, WOW.

THANK GOD.

WE ONLY HAVE ANOTHER DAY OF DRIVING TO GO.

AND I'M MISERABLE RIGHT NOW.

FINALLY, THE HOTEL.

OH.

OOH.

THIS HAS BEEN ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS I'VE EVER DONE.

AND I JUST HOPE IT'S WORTH IT.

'CAUSE THERE'S SO MANY THINGS

THAT ARE SO UNCERTAIN

ABOUT WHEN I GET TO HOUSTON.

OH, YOU KNOW I'M GONNA BE BACK DOWN HERE, RIGHT?

YES.

I JUST SEEN THEIR CANDY.

MY ENTIRE FAMILY,

WE JUST PICKED UP OUR LIFE

AND BROUGHT IT WITH US.

AND I'M WORRIED BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE.

ON TOP OF THAT, CHARLIE NEEDS

TO FIND A JOB AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

SO WE CAN GET A PROPER ROOF OVER THE KIDS' HEADS.

Charlie: THIS TRIP WAS LONG, FRUSTRATING.

BUT IT'S GONNA BE WORTH IT FOR NICOLE AND MY FAMILY.

SHE'S VERY DETERMINED TO GET THE WEIGHT OFF

SO SHE CAN BE THE MOTHER THAT SHE WANTS TO BE.

Nicole: IF I DON'T CHANGE,

MY KIDS ARE EITHER GOING TO RELIVE MY CHILDHOOD

OR WATCH ME DIE.

AND I WILL NOT LET MY KIDS BURY ME IN THEIR DIAPERS.

I REFUSE TO.

**

IT'S DAY THREE ON THE ROAD.

AND WE FINALLY MADE IT TO HOUSTON.

WE'RE HERE.

BUT AS GLAD AS I AM TO BE HERE, I'M STILL REALLY NERVOUS

BECAUSE I KNOW EVERYTHING IS GOING TO RIDE

ON WHAT THE DOCTOR'S GONNA TELL ME.

WE'RE NOT GONNA GET IN HERE.

ALL RIGHT. LET ME TURN YOU AROUND.

-OW! -SORRY.

GOD! [BLEEP] IDIOT.

NICOLE LEWIS?

BUT I'M SCARED THERE'S GONNA BE SOME ISSUE

THAT'LL MEAN HE CAN'T HELP ME

AND THAT I'M TOO FAR GONE AT THIS POINT.

Woman: 684.

I'M VERY SHOCKED.

684 IS, LIKE,

THREE TIMES THE NORMAL BODY WEIGHT.

WHEN I SAW THE NUMBER, IT MADE ME FEEL SCARED...

BECAUSE EVERY TIME I THINK OF MY WEIGHT

AND MY KIDS AT THE SAME TIME,

I JUST ALWAYS THINK OF MYSELF LAYING IN A CASKET.

-HELLO. -HELLO. -HELLO.

-I'M DR. NOWZARADAN. -NICE TO MEET YOU.

-I'M NICOLE. -YOU'RE NICOLE.

-HEY. I'M CHARLIE. -NICE TO MEET YOU.

ALL RIGHT, SO, YOU'RE 23 YEARS OLD,

AND YOU ARE 684 POUNDS?

YES.

SO, WHAT DOES YOUR EATING HABIT LOOK LIKE?

IT'S NOT VERY GOOD.

MY FAMILY HAS A FAST-FOOD HABIT.

I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE

'CAUSE I CAN'T GET UP AND STAND AND COOK FOR MYSELF,

SO I HAVE TO EAT WHAT'S BROUGHT TO ME.

SO WHO BRINGS YOU THE FOOD?

MY BOYFRIEND AND MY MOM.

WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?

IF SHE WANTS IT, SHE'LL THROW A FIT

IF I DON'T GET IT FOR HER.

SO, NICOLE, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT THE BAD FOOD,

BUT YOU HAVE TO BECAUSE YOUR FAMILY MAKES YOU?

AND YOU BRING THE BAD FOOD BECAUSE SHE WILL GET UPSET?

SO I THINK I'M PICKING UP ON SOME OF THE PROBLEM.

NICOLE IS ALMOST 700 POUNDS,

AND THE DYNAMIC SHE HAS AT HOME LOOKS TERRIBLE.

SHE'S NOT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR HER OWN BEHAVIOR.

HER BOYFRIEND IS ENABLING HER

AND MAY NOT EVEN WANT HER TO LOSE WEIGHT.

SO WE HAVE A VERY DIFFICULT SITUATION TO ADDRESS HERE.

YOU ARE 684 POUNDS, AND YOU ARE 23.

YOU KEEP IT UP, DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT TO BE 30?

I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT NEXT YEAR.

I NEED TO DO SOMETHING NOW ABOUT IT.

WHEN I WALK OUT THE DOOR, I'M OVER IN YOUR HANDS.

I'M READY TO GET HEALTHY FOR MY CHILDREN.

OKAY.

THE EATING HABIT NEEDS TO BE CORRECTED

BEFORE WE GET TO THE POINT THAT WE CAN OFFER YOU SURGERY.

SO I WANT YOU TO READ THIS MATERIAL EVERY DAY,

THAT I'M GONNA GIVE YOU.

AND THIS IS FOOD TO AVOID.

THIS IS NOT YOUR GROCERY LIST.

OKAY.

CUT ALL CARBS OUT OF YOUR DIET.

EAT ONLY THREE TIMES A DAY.

NO SNACKING BETWEEN THE MEALS.

SO, YOU READ THAT EVERY DAY AND POLISH UP YOUR EATING HABIT.

AND I WANT YOU TO LOSE 30 POUNDS OVER THE NEXT MONTH, OKAY?

IF YOU FOLLOW THIS,

WE'RE GONNA SEE IF WE CAN GET YOU TO THE POINT

THAT YOU'RE GONNA BE APPROPRIATE FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

-ALL RIGHT. -OKAY?

SO, ARE YOU GONNA BE

SUPPORTING HER CHANGE OF EATING HABIT?

-100%. -OKAY.

-NICE TO SEE YOU. -NICE TO SEE YOU.

-NICE TO SEE YOU. -NICE TO SEE YOU.

ARE YOU READY TO DO THIS WITH ME?

-OF COURSE. -ALL RIGHT.

Nicole: I KNOW THIS IS GONNA BE TOUGH.

AND I'M SCARED RIGHT NOW,

HEARING EVERYTHING THE DOCTOR SAID.

Charlie: I WAS LOOKING ON THAT PAPER,

AND A LOT OF THE FOODS THERE THAT I LIKE TO EAT.

SO IT'LL BE A CHALLENGE.

BUT I THINK WE CAN DO IT.

Nicole: 30 POUNDS IS A LOT OF WEIGHT.

AND IN THE PAST,

I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO COMPLETE DIETS.

SO I'M GONNA WORK HARD. BUT I'M SCARED.

BECAUSE WHAT IF I CAN'T DO IT?

WHAT IF IT'S TOO HARD AND I FAIL?

AND I DON'T WANT TO LET MY KIDS DOWN.

**

Nicole: MY FAMILY AND I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE

TO FIND A PLACE TO LIVE YET,

SO WE'VE BEEN STAYING IN A HOTEL.

BUT RIGHT NOW, I'VE JUST BEEN TRYING TO STAY ACTIVE

AND DO AS MUCH AS I CAN TO MAKE THE PROGRESS THE DOCTOR WANTS.

IT'S STRESSFUL TO NOT BE IN A HOUSE YET

BECAUSE WE CAN'T AFFORD TO STAY IN HOTELS TOO MUCH LONGER.

BUT ONE THING THAT'S BEEN NICE ABOUT STAYING HERE

HAS BEEN THE POOL

BECAUSE IT'S SO MUCH EASIER TO EXERCISE IN THE WATER.

YOU'RE ONLY GIVEN ONE LIFE.

AND I HAVEN'T EVEN BEGUN TO LIVE A LIFE YET.

SO I'M GONNA DO MY ABSOLUTE HARDEST

TO LOSE THE WEIGHT AND FEEL HAPPY FOR ONCE.

HEY, HEY, GOOD LOOKIN'.

Nicole: THERE'S MY HANDSOME MAN.

-WHAT'S UP? -[ LAUGHS ]

-HOW WAS YOUR WORKOUT? -IT'S REALLY GOOD.

RIGHT NOW I'M WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN

TO MAKE THE PROGRESS I NEED.

BUT I'M STILL STRUGGLING AT TIMES.

AND THE TEMPTATION'S THE WORST

WHEN I GET STRESSED OUT ABOUT WHERE WE'RE LIVING.

BUT I JUST REALLY HOPE WE FIND A PLACE SOON.

BECAUSE WE CAN'T AFFORD TO KEEP LIVING IN HOTELS.

Charlie: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING UP?

THIS APARTMENT.

HOW MUCH IS THAT PLACE?

$750 FOR A TWO-BEDROOM.

$850 FOR A THREE-BEDROOM.

IT'S RIDICULOUS. I PAID $750 FOR A HOUSE.

BUT THAT'S OHIO. THIS IS TEXAS, HONEY.

Jim: YEAH. GIVE ALL THAT UP FOR THIS.

HOPE EVERYTHING GOES GOOD NOW.

Nicole: I'M GETTING REALLY STRESSED OUT

'CAUSE WE'VE BEEN IN HOUSTON FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS,

AND WE STILL HAVEN'T FOUND A HOUSE.

BEEN LIVING IN HOTELS.

AND WE'RE RUNNING LOW ON MONEY.

Darlene: CHARLIE'S GONNA HAVE TO GET A JOB, RIGHT?

HE'S BEEN LOOKING. LIKE, SOME OF THE GAS STATIONS AND STUFF.

WITHOUT CHARLIE GETTING A JOB, WE'RE STUCK HERE.

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ONCE WE'RE BROKE.

THIS IS VERY STRESSFUL.

ARE YOU GETTING HUNGRY?

HELLO?

Nicole: MY ONLY GO-TO THING WAS FOOD.

NOW THAT I'M HERE, NOW THAT I'VE SEEN THE DOCTOR,

I WANT TO DO THIS.

SO I'M TRYING TO EAT AS HEALTHY AS I CAN.

HOW MANY OF THESE DO YOU WANT, NIKKI?

ONE PIECE IS ONE SERVING.

BUT ME LIVING IN HOTELS,

I DON'T KNOW IF MY WEIGHT LOSS IS ON TRACK

BECAUSE YOU CAN'T MICROWAVE

A BUNCH OF HEALTHY FOOD ALL THE TIME.

I'M REALLY TIRED OF MICROWAVE FOOD.

Jim: I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS WAS EATING FOR SUPPER,

AND I ATE A BUNCH OF PIZZA.

WHAT?

I WAS UPTOWN RIDING AROUND A LITTLE BIT AGO,

SO I STOPPED AT THAT PIZZA SHOP, AND I ATE UPTOWN.

YOU ATE A BIG OLD PIECE OF PIZZA?

YEAH, I ATE A BUNCH OF PIZZA.

FOUR SLICES FOR $5.

FOUR SLICES OF PIZZA!

YEAH, AND, I MEAN, THEY WERE BIG.

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE EATING HEALTHY TOGETHER.

I KNOW, BUT THAT'S WHY I ATE IT BEFORE I COME BACK HERE.

IT WAS PRETTY GOOD.

CHARLIE, THAT'S NOT, LIKE, A DIPPING SAUCE.

LIKE -- SCHWOOP! -- JUST LET ME DIP IT.

THAT'S A LOT OF BUTTER, DUDE!

YOU GOT TO HAVE A LOT OF BUTTER.

Nicole: I KNOW IT'S HARD FOR MY FAMILY

TO HAVE TO DO THIS WITH ME.

BUT HOW THEY'RE TREATING ME RIGHT NOW

MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M ON MY OWN.

I GO BACK TO SEE THE DOCTOR IN A WEEK.

AND I JUST NEED TO STAY ON TRACK TILL THEN.

TODAY, I'M GOING TO A FOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENT

WITH DR. NOWZARADAN.

OVER THE PAST MONTH,

IT'S BEEN REALLY DIFFICULT TO STICK TO HIS DIET,

BUT I'VE TRIED REALLY HARD.

NICOLE LEWIS?

HE TOLD ME TO LOSE 30 POUNDS AND GET UNDER 654.

AND I REALLY HAVE NO IDEA IF I'M EVEN CLOSE TO THAT.

Woman: 673.

I'M A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED

THAT I DIDN'T LOSE WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO.

AND I'M SCARED ABOUT WHAT THE DOCTOR'S GONNA SAY.

BUT I HOPE DR. NOW SEES THAT I AM MAKING PROGRESS

SO I CAN GET BARIATRIC SURGERY.

-HELLO. -HEY.

-HOW Y'ALL DOING? -DOING ALL RIGHT.

STRUGGLING WITH SOME STRESS.

WHAT SEEMS TO BE YOUR SORT OF, UH, STRESS?

WE STILL NEED TO FIND AN APARTMENT.

WE'RE GOING BACK AND FORTH TO DIFFERENT HOTELS.

MY FAMILY PUTS ALL THE STRESS ON ME

AND WANTS ME TO TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING

INSTEAD OF TRYING TO HELP ME FIND A PLACE.

SO YOUR FAMILY IS THE PROBLEM AGAIN?

I'M EATING THE BEST I CAN WITH THE HOTEL.

I FOUND, LIKE, SOME PRE-COOKED, LIKE, GRILLED CHICKEN

AND THINGS LIKE THAT I CAN MICROWAVE.

BUT MY FAMILY IS EATING FAST FOOD.

AND IT'S SUCH A STRUGGLE TO FIGHT CRAVINGS

WHEN EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS EATING THINGS

THAT YOU'RE USED TO.

ALL RIGHT. I SEE.

NICOLE'S STILL NOT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

AND BLAMING EVERYBODY AROUND HER.

SO THAT'S THE PRIMARY ISSUE

THAT WE NEED TO ADDRESS RIGHT NOW.

NICOLE, I'M NOT APPROVING YOU FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

AND IF YOU WANT ANY CHANCE TO DO THIS,

YOU HAVE TO STOP BLAMING YOUR FAMILY.

YOU'RE THE ONE THAT NEEDS TO MAKE THE CHANGES.

SO LOSE 30 POUNDS OVER THE NEXT MONTH

AND SHOW ME THAT YOU CAN DO THIS.

-SOUNDS GOOD. -I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

Charlie: READY?

ALL RIGHT.

Nicole: I FEEL A LITTLE FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW

BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I WORKED REALLY HARD,

AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I COULD DO ANY BETTER.

BUT I'M SCARED BECAUSE I KNOW THIS MAY BE MY LAST CHANCE.

AND IF I SCREW UP AGAIN,

I'M GONNA HAVE NO HOPE AT SURVIVING ANOTHER YEAR.

**

Nicole: SO, EVERYTHING IS REALLY STRESSFUL RIGHT NOW.

Charlie: I GOT THE FOOD.

Nicole: I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO BETTER THIS MONTH,

BUT UNTIL WE FIND A PLACE TO LIVE, WITH A KITCHEN,

WE'RE STILL MOSTLY RELYING ON TAKE-OUT AND FAST FOOD.

AND EVEN WHEN WE COULD PICK SOME HEALTHIER PLACES,

MY FAMILY DOESN'T WANT TO EAT FROM THERE.

Charlie: I GOT CHERRY SYRUP PUT IN MINE.

YEAH. THIS IS YOURS.

SO I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO ORDER SOMETHING UNHEALTHY.

THIS IS ALL STUFF THAT I CAN'T EAT.

-I CAN'T HAVE BREAD. -WELL, I KNOW THAT.

AND THAT'S WAY TOO MUCH MEAT.

MY FAMILY ISN'T SUPPORTING ME AT ALL.

MY PARENTS ARE EVEN THREATENING TO TAKE OUR KIDS BACK TO OHIO

WITHOUT ME AND CHARLIE.

SO I HAVE TO FIND A PLACE FOR US TO LIVE.

Woman: Thank you for choosing... How may I assist you?

HI. MY NAME IS NICOLE.

I'M CALLING ABOUT A PROPERTY YOU HAVE FOR RENT.

IT'S ON BEXLEY STREET.

Um, we do have an open waiting list right now,

From six months to one year.

OKAY. ALL RIGHT. YEAH. I NEED SOMETHING IMMEDIATELY.

WE NEEDED SOMETHING TWO DAYS AGO.

WE'RE DOWN TO LIKE $580.

WHEN THAT MONEY'S GONE, IT'S GONE.

AND MY FAMILY, WE'RE GONNA BE HOMELESS.

AND I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN TO MY KIDS.

THIS SUCKS.

GIVING UP WHAT WE HAD TO GIVE. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

THIS AIN'T MY FAULT.

THIS IS JUST A SITUATION THAT HAPPENED

THAT WE GOT TO GET THROUGH TOGETHER AS A FAMILY.

IT DOESN'T HELP WHEN I'M GETTING JUMPED

EVERY DAY OVER THE SITUATION.

I'M NOT JUMPING, DUDE. I NAG YOU. I DON'T JUMP ON YOU.

MY MOM NAGS ME AND SAYS SHE WISHES SHE WAS STILL IN OHIO.

I DON'T SEE NONE OF YOU GUYS HELPING ME. I'M LITERALLY...

'CAUSE YOU GOT ONE LAPTOP YOU WON'T LET NOBODY USE.

I'M THE ONE OUT LOOKING FOR JOBS.

I'M THE ONE OUT HAVING JOB INTERVIEWS.

I DON'T SEE NOBODY ELSE GETTING JOBS, GETTING JOB INTERVIEWS.

I HANDLE ALL YOUR JOB APPLICATIONS,

-TALK TO REAL-ESTATE AGENTS. -RIGHT, RIGHT.

AND I'M NOT SAYING YOU DON'T DO NOTHING.

Darlene: LIVING IN OHIO, WE HAD A HOUSE.

THE KIDS HAD A PLACE TO STAY AND PLAY, HON.

YOU GUYS ARE DRIVING ME [BLEEP] NUTS.

WONDER WHY I WANT TO GO HOME. I DON'T GIVE A [BLEEP]

[BLEEP]

Nicole: ALL THIS IS TEARING MY FAMILY APART.

[ CHILD YELLS ]

MY KIDS ARE LITERALLY MY ONLY MOTIVATION TO SAVE MY LIFE.

SO IF MY MOM TAKES THEM BACK TO OHIO,

I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO DO THIS,

AND I'M GONNA DIE.

**

CHARLIE AND I HAVE BEEN OUT ALL DAY LOOKING FOR A JOB,

BUT WE STILL HAVEN'T FOUND ANYTHING.

IT'S BEEN SUCH A STRESSFUL MONTH.

I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO GO TO MY LAST DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT.

SO RIGHT NOW, I JUST WANT TO FORGET

ABOUT ALL MY PROBLEMS AND EAT

BECAUSE THIS IS STARTING TO BECOME TOO MUCH FOR ME TO BEAR.

-How can I help you? -UM...

CAN I GET A DOUBLE-MEAT CHEESEBURGER?

-What kind of drink? -LARGE FRUIT PUNCH.

AND I WANT, UH, A NUMBER THREE.

-Anything else for you? -NO.

Nicole: I'VE BEEN HOLDING BACK FOR SO LONG.

AND RIGHT NOW, I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO EAT SOMETHING

THAT TASTES SO GOOD.

I KNOW THIS ISN'T THE FOOD I'M SUPPOSED TO BE EATING,

BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S GOING TO CAUSE TOO MUCH DAMAGE

TO CHEAT JUST A LITTLE BIT WHEN I REALLY NEED IT.

I'M REALLY NERVOUS TO SEE THE DOCTOR

AFTER HAVING MISSED MY LAST APPOINTMENT.

NICOLE LEWIS?

I DON'T KNOW IF I WAS SUPPOSED TO LOSE 30 POUNDS STILL

OR WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO.

SO I'M SCARED.

IF THE DOCTOR DOESN'T APPROVE ME TODAY,

MY FAMILY'S GONNA GIVE UP AND MOVE BACK TO OHIO.

IF THAT HAPPENS, I HAVE NO HOPE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT THE SCALE SAID.

IT'S DEPRESSING.

I'M VERY WORRIED ABOUT WHAT DR. NOW'S GONNA SAY TO ME.

I JUST HOPE THAT HE'S VERY UNDERSTANDING OF MY SITUATION.

-HELLO. -HELLO.

-HOW Y'ALL DOING? -DOING ALL RIGHT.

-HOW ARE YOU? -ALL RIGHT.

SO, I GAVE YOU A CHALLENGE TO LOSE 30 POUNDS IN ONE MONTH,

AND YOU LOST 11.

I TOLD YOU TO TRY AGAIN AND WORK HARDER,

AND YOU LOST 6 POUNDS IN TWO MONTHS.

SO WHAT'S GOING ON?

I DIDN'T HAVE A REFRIGERATOR, A MICROWAVE.

SO WE COULDN'T EAT HEALTHY.

AND MY FAMILY WOULD BE EATING --

OKAY. I DON'T WANT ANY MORE EXCUSES.

YOU'RE STILL RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR CHOICES

AND WHAT YOU EAT.

TO BE QUITE HONEST, I'M NOT HAVING

VERY MUCH EMOTIONAL SUPPORT AT HOME.

AND IT'S JUST MADE ME UPSET AT THIS POINT.

I JUST FEEL LOST INSIDE.

NICOLE, YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME.

THIS IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM.

I AM VERY CONCERNED ABOUT NICOLE RIGHT NOW.

SHE MISSED HER LAST APPOINTMENT, AND HER PROGRESS IS EVEN WORSE.

AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT, SHE STILL HAS A BIT

OF A DELUSIONAL PERSPECTIVE ON THINGS.

SHE IS USED TO MANIPULATING EVERYBODY AROUND HER

TO THE POINT THAT SHE EVEN BELIEVES HER OWN EXCUSES.

SO I DON'T THINK SHE'S GOING TO HAVE ANY CHANCE OF SUCCESS

UNTIL WE START TO GET HER TO WAKE UP FROM HER DELUSION.

WHEN LIFE GETS TOUGH, YOU DON'T GET A PASS.

YOU ARE THE ONE THAT...

YOU GOT YOURSELF IN THIS SITUATION.

-THAT'S CORRECT. -AND YOU'RE THE ONE YOU HAVE

TO GET OUT OF YOUR SITUATION.

NOBODY IS GONNA PULL YOU OUT.

-RIGHT. -YOU ARE, WHAT?

-23 YEARS OLD? -YES.

-AND YOU HAVE TWO KIDS? -YES.

AND YOU GOT TO BE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT FOR THEM.

-EXACTLY. -AND YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO

BECOME A STRONGER PERSON.

SO I'M GOING TO SEND YOU TO A THERAPIST

SO WE CAN START TO GET ON THE SAME PAGE

ABOUT A FEW THINGS.

WE HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

AND BECAUSE YOU MADE SO LITTLE PROGRESS,

I'M REQUIRING YOU TO LOSE 30 POUNDS IN A MONTH

-FOR TWO MONTHS IN A ROW. -OKAY.

-OKAY? -ALL RIGHT.

I NEED TO KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO THIS

AND YOU CAN STICK TO IT.

UNTIL THEN, SURGERY IS NOT AN OPTION.

KEEP WORKING AT IT. AND I WILL SEE YOU SOON.

ALL RIGHT.

I'M REALLY DISCOURAGED.

I'M WORSE OFF THAN WHEN I STARTED

BECAUSE I HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT OVER TWO MONTHS NOW.

AND THE DOCTOR JUST DOESN'T UNDERSTAND

WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH,

BECAUSE I'M COMPLETELY DEPENDENT ON MY FAMILY.

I JUST HOPE THE THERAPIST HELPS,

BECAUSE IF I DON'T SUCCEED THIS TIME,

I'M COMPLETELY OUT OF CHANCES.

**

I'M GOING TO SEE THE THERAPIST TONIGHT

LIKE DR. NOW WANTED ME TO.

I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT.

AND THE THOUGHT OF IT KINDA MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO LOSE DR. NOW'S HELP.

SO I'M DOING WHAT HE'S TOLD ME,

EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES ME REALLY NERVOUS.

-HELLO. -HI, NICOLE. I'M VANESSA.

-NICE TO MEET YOU. -NICE TO MEET YOU ALSO.

SO, NICOLE, TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT

HOW YOU GOT TO WHERE YOU ARE.

I GREW UP IN, WHAT I'D SAY, A PRETTY BROKEN HOME

WITH MY PARENTS JUST DOING HARD-CORE DRUGS.

AND I WAS OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND, YOU KNOW?

THEY HAD ONE FOCUS, AND THAT WAS DRUGS.

AND I'VE BEEN INVISIBLE TO THEM BASICALLY MY WHOLE LIFE.

AND THAT'S HOW I FEEL.

HOW'S THAT RELATIONSHIP NOW?

I'M STRESSED BECAUSE I HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT.

BUT I DON'T GET ANY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT.

SO MY BARRIERS ARE JUST THE NEGATIVITY AND THE ANGER

THAT'S IN MY HOME.

PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS ARGUING.

PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS YELLING. IT'S VERY STRESSFUL.

ESPECIALLY FOR CHARLIE AND I.

I'M IN THIS DARK PLACE

BECAUSE ALL THE HURT,

ALL THE PAIN AND ANGER THAT I'VE FELT OVER THE YEARS,

I'VE JUST HID IT INSIDE ME,

AND I'VE HID IT IN MY FEELINGS.

AND I'M TIRED OF TURNING TO FOOD.

UNLIKE ALCOHOL AND DRUGS, YOU HAVE TO HAVE FOOD.

-RIGHT. -YOU CAN'T ABSTAIN FROM IT.

SO EVERY DECISION YOU MAKE ABOUT FOOD,

YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT.

-YES. -SO THAT IMPACTS EVERYTHING.

-EVERYTHING. -YOUR WHOLE DAY.

HOW ARE YOU MAKING THOSE CHANGES?

I JUST --

I DO IT ONE STEP AT A TIME, EVERY SINGLE DAY, ALL DAY LONG.

I DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO AVOID THINKING ABOUT FOOD.

AND IF I CAN'T HAVE THEIR SUPPORT,

THEN I'M GONNA HAVE TO BE MY OWN SUPPORT SYSTEM

AND JUST DO IT FOR ME.

I ENCOURAGE YOU, VERY, VERY MUCH,

TO REMOVE THE BARRIERS.

BE A LITTLE SELFISH.

MAKE THIS ABOUT YOU.

YOU CAN MAKE IT ABOUT THEM LATER.

BUT MAKE IT ABOUT YOU.

-OKAY. -THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I APPRECIATE YOUR STORY.

I FEEL ENCOURAGED TALKING TO THE THERAPIST TODAY.

THERE'S SO MUCH OF MY LIFE

THAT'S BEEN OUTSIDE OF MY CONTROL.

AND THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I HAVE NO CHOICE

IN A LOT OF SITUATIONS.

BUT I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS AND MAKE THE CHANGES I NEED,

BECAUSE IF I DON'T AND I FAIL,

DR. NOW IS GONNA TURN ME AWAY,

AND I'M GONNA LET DOWN EVERYONE I LOVE.

**

COME ON, BUD. YOU CAN DO IT.

Nicole: IT'S BEEN A REALLY GOOD FEW WEEKS.

CHARLIE FOUND A JOB.

AND WE WERE FINALLY ABLE TO AFFORD TO RENT A HOUSE.

NOW THAT MY FAMILY HAS SOME SPACE TO SPREAD OUT,

WE'RE GETTING ALONG A LITTLE BETTER.

YOU GOT CURLS LIKE YOUR DAD, GIRL.

I'M FOCUSING MORE ON THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT MAKE ME HAPPY.

AND I'M FINDING NEW WAYS TO STAY MOTIVATED.

I HAVE MY WEAK MOMENTS, BUT RIGHT NOW,

I FEEL REALLY ENERGIZED

TO MAKE SURE I REACH MY GOAL.

SO I'VE STARTED EXERCISING A LITTLE BIT MORE EACH DAY.

I STILL CAN'T DO A LOT,

BUT THE GOAL IS JUST TO STAY ACTIVE

AND STICK TO THE DIET.

SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE.

CHARLIE'S BEEN A BIG HELP.

HE COACHES ME AND HELPS

WITH EXERCISES I CAN'T DO BY MYSELF.

SO I'M THANKFUL FOR HIM

AND FOR HOW THINGS ARE RIGHT NOW.

-REACH FOR THE SAND. -THREE.

RIGHT. THERE YOU GO.

-GRAB A HANDFUL. -SIX.

THROW IT AT YOU. SEVEN.

I REALLY HOPE I MAKE THE PROGRESS I NEED BY NEXT MONTH.

IF I DON'T REACH MY GOAL WEIGHT,

DR. NOW SAYS I CAN'T BE HIS PATIENT ANYMORE.

MY HEART IS GONNA BE SHATTERED.

I'M BACK AT DR. NOW'S OFFICE AGAIN,

AND I'M REALLY NERVOUS BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO FIND OUT

IF I'VE STAYED ON TRACK THIS MONTH.

NICOLE LEWIS?

HE WANTED ME TO LOSE 30 POUNDS TO GET UNDER 637.

BUT SO FAR, I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN CLOSE

TO REACHING HIS GOALS.

SO I HAVE NO IDEA IF THIS MONTH IS ANY BETTER.

ALL I KNOW IS I'VE TRIED AS HARD AS I CAN.

AND IF I FAIL, I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE I CAN DO.

THAT'S THE BEST I'VE DONE SO FAR.

BUT IT'S STILL NOT WHAT HE WANTED ME TO LOSE.

HOPEFULLY DR. NOW SEES

THAT I'M MOVING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

AND LETS ME KEEP TRYING,

BECAUSE I CAN'T LOSE THIS CHANCE.

-HELLO. -HELLO.

-HOW Y'ALL DOING? -DOING OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, SO, TODAY YOU WERE 640 POUNDS.

-YEAH. -HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW?

IT'S ACTUALLY A LOT BETTER NOW.

I'M STARTING TO ENJOY HEALTHIER FOOD.

AND I'M ONLY DRINKING WATER.

AND WHAT ABOUT THE THERAPIST?

-DID YOU SEE HER? -YES.

AND, UM, SHE'S KIND OF TEACHING ME

HOW TO BE MY OWN SUPPORT SYSTEM.

AND I FEEL MORE POSITIVE.

SO WE'RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK.

Dr. Nowzaradan: NICOLE IS DOING MUCH BETTER NOW

THAN SHE DID THE FIRST THREE MONTHS.

SHE DIDN'T HIT THE WEIGHT-LOSS GOAL I GAVE HER,

BUT THREE POUNDS IS CLOSE ENOUGH,

BECAUSE SHE'S STARTING TO GET ON TRACK LIKE SHE NEEDS TO.

AND I FEEL LIKE SHE STARTED TO TAKE

SOME RESPONSIBILITY FOR HER CHOICES.

SO, HERE'S THE SITUATION.

EVEN THOUGH YOU DIDN'T HIT THE 30-POUND MARK,

YOU MADE GOOD PROGRESS THIS MONTH.

SO I'LL GO AHEAD AND COUNT THIS AS A SUCCESS,

AS LONG AS NEXT MONTH,

YOU MAKE UP FOR IT AND LOSE 33 POUNDS.

ALL RIGHT. SOUNDS GOOD.

ALL RIGHT. SUPER. GOOD JOB.

-AND I'LL SEE YOU NEXT MONTH. -ALL RIGHT.

-THANK YOU. -MM-HMM.

-GOOD JOB. -THANKS.

I FEEL LIKE DR. NOW WAS PROUD OF ME.

HE KNOWS THAT I'M TRYING.

AND IT FEELS REALLY GOOD TO HAVE HIM VALIDATE ME LIKE THAT.

IT'S ENCOURAGING TO FINALLY START TO SEE SOME PROGRESS.

AND I JUST WANT TO DO MORE NEXT MONTH

AND FINALLY GET APPROVED.

NOTHING'S GONNA STOP ME FROM HITTING THE GOAL

AND SAVING MY LIFE.

**

PLEASE SHUT UP.

Nicole: MY DAD'S REALLY ANGRY

BECAUSE THERE WAS A DRUG RAID IN OUR BACK APARTMENT

THAT WE RENTED OUT.

COPS TOLD ME THAT THEY FOUND NARCOTICS

AND STUFF LIKE THAT IN THE BACK APARTMENT.

SO THE TENANTS WENT TO JAIL.

THE POLICE HAVE TO SEARCH THE ENTIRE PREMISES,

SO THEY TORE THE REST OF MY HOUSE APART,

BROKE MY FRONT DOOR OFF THE HINGES,

FLIPPED OVER COUCHES,

MOVED MY STOVE AND REFRIGERATOR OUT.

AND I JUST IMMEDIATELY GOT SCARED,

BECAUSE JADEN WAS CRYING.

THE COP TOLD ME TO PUT MY HANDS UP.

THE POLICE LITERALLY MADE ME LIFT MY STOMACH

TO SEE IF I HAD DRUGS UNDER MY STOMACH.

I FEEL VERY VIOLATED.

Darlene: WHEW!

A VERY STRESSFUL SITUATION FOR EVERYBODY IN THE HOUSE.

Jim: SHUT THIS [BLEEP] OFF RIGHT NOW.

IT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU LOSING WEIGHT.

THIS SHOW'S ABOUT YOU,

NOT WHAT HAPPENS ON OUR DAY-TO-DAY PERSONAL LIFE

AND OUR GETTING DESTROYED BY THE [BLEEP]

HOUSTON POLICE DEPARTMENT!

IT'S ABOUT MY JOURNEY AND MY LIFE

-AND MY EVERYDAY CHALLENGES. -THAT'S RIGHT.

DOES THIS HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH WHAT YOU ATE TODAY?

IT HAS A LOT TO DO WITH IT.

IT'S SOMETHING THAT I'M GOING THROUGH.

-IT'S PART OF MY LIFE. -PART OF YOUR LIFE.

-WILL YOU JUST CALM DOWN? -NO. I WON'T.

Jim: IT AIN'T COOL, MAN.

Nicole: I'M REALLY UPSET RIGHT NOW.

I FELT LIKE THINGS WERE GOING SO WELL.

AND I WAS FINALLY MAKING PROGRESS.

AND THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS THE LAST THING I NEED,

'CAUSE ALL I WANT TO DO RIGHT NOW IS GIVE IN AND EAT.

BECAUSE FOOD IS LIKE A FRIEND TO ME.

IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN.

IT ALWAYS COMFORTS ME.

AND WHEN I FEEL LIKE MY WORLD IS FALLING APART,

IT'S BEEN THE ONE THING THAT'S SAFE.

[ SIGHS ]

AND RIGHT NOW, THAT'S ALL I WANT,

BECAUSE I CAN'T DO THIS.

**

Nicole: THE PAST WEEK HAS BEEN EXTREMELY HARD.

SINCE THE POLICE RAID,

MY HOUSEHOLD IS FULL OF JUST COMMOTION.

AND IT MAKES ME SCARED AND STRESSED,

JUST LIKE WHEN I WAS A KID.

AND THAT'S MAKING IT SO INCREDIBLY HARD

NOT TO RUN TO FOOD.

BUT I CALLED MY THERAPIST,

AND WE TALKED ABOUT FINDING OTHER OUTLETS FOR MY EMOTIONS.

ONE OF THOSE IDEAS WAS TO WRITE DOWN HOW I FEEL.

SO I'VE BEEN WRITING POEMS AND SOME SONGS.

"SITTING IN THIS DARK PLACE, FROZE IN MY SEAT.

IN CLOSED SPACE, COMMOTION SURROUNDS ME.

MY THOUGHTS BEGIN TO RACE.

MY MIND STARTS TO WIND, AND I START TO FEEL THE RAGE.

HANDS START TO SHAKE, AND I'M LOSING GRIP,

AND I'M READY TO BREAK.

ABOUT TO BLOW MY TOP AND TEAR UP THIS WHOLE PLACE."

I'M TRYING HARD TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

FOR MY OWN CHOICES

AND NOT BLAME MY FAMILY.

BUT IT WOULD MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE

TO FEEL LIKE I HAVE THEIR SUPPORT.

SO I'M WORKING UP THE COURAGE

TO TELL THEM HOW HARD IT IS TO DO THIS WITHOUT THAT.

TONIGHT, I ASKED MY FAMILY TO SIT DOWN WITH ME

SO I CAN TALK WITH THEM

AND SHARE A LITTLE BIT ABOUT HOW I FEEL.

AND I'M SCARED TO DEATH RIGHT NOW

BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW IT'S GONNA GO.

OHH.

IT'S TIME FOR A CHANGE.

SO WE JUST NEED TO COME TOGETHER AS A FAMILY

AND ALL STAY ON THE SAME PAGE.

I KNOW THAT EVERYONE'S GAVE UP A LOT

JUST TO COME DOWN HERE FOR ME.

AND HERE WE SIT. AND I STILL DON'T HAVE THE SURGERY.

AND I KNOW THAT THAT FRUSTRATES YOU.

I KNOW IT DOES, BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW

THAT THE DOCTOR'S PROUD OF ME.

I KNOW HE IS, BECAUSE I HAVEN'T GAINED ANY WEIGHT.

I'M DOING WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

BUT HE JUST NEEDS ME TO STAY MORE FOCUSED

BECAUSE I'M NOT QUITE MEETING THE GOALS AT EACH APPOINTMENT.

SOMETIMES I JUST FEEL LIKE NO ONE'S REALLY HERE FOR ME.

AND ME AND MOM DON'T SEE EYE TO EYE SOMETIMES,

'CAUSE WE'RE ALWAYS ARGUING.

I KNOW WE GET INTO IT ALL THE TIME,

BUT I DO CARE ABOUT YOU.

I KNOW YOU DO.

I'M JUST TRYING MY BEST TO GET THIS SURGERY

SO I CAN MAKE EVERYBODY BELIEVE IN ME.

Jim: WELL, I BELIEVE IN YOU, NIKKI.

YOU'RE LOSING MORE WEIGHT NOW

THAN YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE.

RIGHT.

YOU DON'T NEED TO GET THIS SURGERY

FOR NOBODY OTHER THAN YOURSELF.

YOU NEED TO DO THIS FOR YOU AND THEM TWO KIDS RIGHT THERE.

-UH-HUH. -YEP.

-THEM KIDS NEED A MOTHER. -YEAH.

AND I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO BURY MY KID.

I UNDERSTAND THAT.

I'M JUST TRYING.

BUT MAYBE SOMETIMES YOU GUYS

SHOULD TRY TO JUST EAT A HEALTHY MEAL WITH ME.

LIKE, MAYBE ONCE A WEEK START TRYING TO DO IT, YOU KNOW?

-YEAH. -ONE MEAL, ONCE A WEEK?

RIGHT. AND I PROMISE YOU GUYS

I'M NOT GONNA BRING YOU GUYS DOWN HERE TO WATCH ME FAIL.

I'M GONNA SUCCEED IN WHAT I NEED TO DO.

-AND YOU'VE SUCCEEDED THUS FAR. -YOU STICK TO IT.

YOU'RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK GOING THE RIGHT WAY.

WITH YOU GUYS AS MY SUPPORT, I'M GONNA DO IT.

YEAH, I JUST APPRECIATE EVERYBODY SITTING AROUND

AND TALKING TO ME AND WANTING ME

TO GET SOME THINGS OFF MY CHEST

AND JUST LISTENING TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY.

YOU OUGHT TO TALK MORE OFTEN.

Nicole: I'M GLAD I DECIDED TO DO THIS.

AND I FEEL LIKE MY FAMILY HEARD ME.

AND THEY UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL.

I HOPE THAT THEY JUST START SHOWING

THAT THEY'RE HERE FOR ME

AND THEY WANT TO HELP ME SUCCEED,

ALONG WITH TRYING TO GET HEALTHY THEMSELVES.

AND WITH THEIR SUPPORT, I'M HOPING I CAN DO THIS.

I SEE THE DOCTOR IN A FEW DAYS,

AND I FIND OUT IF I MADE THE PROGRESS I NEEDED

AND WHETHER OR NOT I'M GETTING THE SURGERY

I NEED TO SAVE MY LIFE.

**

WE'RE BACK AT DR. NOW'S AGAIN,

AND I'M MORE NERVOUS THIS TIME THAN I'VE BEEN BEFORE.

Woman: NICOLE LEWIS?

THIS HAS BEEN ONE OF THE HARDEST MONTHS

NOT TO RUN TO FOOD.

BUT I FOUGHT EVERY CRAVING.

I'M SUPPOSED TO LOSE MORE THAN I EVER HAVE.

AND I'M SO SCARED I'M NOT GONNA HAVE DONE THAT

AND I'M ABOUT TO LOSE MY ONLY CHANCE

TO SAVE MY LIFE.

**

Nicole: I'M SO NERVOUS RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO FIND OUT

IF I'M GETTING APPROVED FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

DR. NOW SAID I HAD TO LOSE 33 POUNDS

TO GET UNDER 607.

AND I'VE TRIED HARDER THAN I EVER HAVE TO DO THIS.

Woman: 608.

Nicole: THAT'S SO CLOSE.

AND I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD BE EXCITED OR SCARED RIGHT NOW.

I JUST HOPE THIS IS ENOUGH

AND I'M NOT GONNA GET SENT AWAY OVER ONE POUND.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

-HELLO. -HELLO.

-HOW Y'ALL DOING? -DOING ALL RIGHT.

Dr. Nowzaradan: ALL RIGHT, SO, NICOLE,

YOU LOST 32 POUNDS THIS PAST MONTH.

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LOSE 33.

YOU ALMOST MADE IT, BUT CLOSE ENOUGH.

I'M GONNA APPROVE YOU FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, OKAY?

-OH, MY GOSH. -OKAY?

-THANK YOU SO MUCH. -THAT'S GOOD NEWS FOR YOU?

-YES, IT'S WONDERFUL NEWS. -ALL RIGHT.

Dr. Nowzaradan: AT THE BEGINNING,

NICOLE DIDN'T DO WELL,

AND SHE WASN'T TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR HER ACTIONS.

BUT DEDICATION TO LOSING WEIGHT

IN THE PAST TWO MONTHS SHOWS

THAT SHE'S READY TO MAKE CHANGES.

AND I THINK THE SURGERY WILL BE AN APPROPRIATE TOOL

TO HELP HER TO MOVE FORWARD.

I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU.

SO, WE'RE GONNA GET YOU ON A SCHEDULE HERE

FOR SURGERY SOON.

BUT YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF DEVELOPING BLOOD CLOTS

LIKE YOU DID IN YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY.

THOSE CAN BE DEADLY.

SO I WANT YOU TO GET YOUR AEROBIC ACTIVITY UP

BY WALKING EVERY DAY.

AND WHEN YOU CAN WALK FOR 10 MINUTES

WITHOUT SITTING DOWN,

THEN WE'LL SCHEDULE YOU FOR SURGERY.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, AND I'LL SEE YOU SOON.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR EVERYTHING.

ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE WELCOME.

-IT HAPPENED. -I GOT IT.

-I KNOW. -[ LAUGHS ]

THAT'S AWESOME. -I TOLD YOU.

Charlie: I TOLD YOU YOU GOT THIS.

Charlie: I'M SUPER EXCITED. I'M KIND OF EMOTION ABOUT IT.

'CAUSE I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

I DON'T WANT TO SEE HER DIE BECAUSE OF HER WEIGHT.

NOW SHE'S GONNA HAVE THE SURGERY,

AND I'LL HAVE THE WOMAN I WANT TO BE WITH BESIDE ME.

Nicole: I'M SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW,

AND I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF.

AND I'M GETTING MY STAMINA UP TO WHAT THE DOCTOR NEEDS

SO I CAN GET MY SURGERY AS FAST AS I CAN.

I'M GONNA TRY TO AVOID MY WHEELCHAIR

AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE

BECAUSE I CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE THE SURGERY

AND START TO CHANGE MY LIFE.

**

I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO GET MY STAMINA UP ENOUGH

FOR DR. NOW TO SAY I'M READY FOR SURGERY.

AND NOW THAT THE DAY IS FINALLY HERE,

I'M REALLY NERVOUS.

I'M SCARED.

YOU'LL JUST GO TO SLEEP.

WHEN YOU WAKE UP, YOU'RE GONNA BE ALL BETTER.

BUT JUST -- IF I DON'T,

[ Voice breaking ] JUST PLEASE TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

Nicole: I JUST WANT TO TELL MY PARENTS, CHARLIE,

AND MY KIDS THAT I'M SORRY FOR...

[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]

BEING BIG AND BEING A BURDEN ON THEM.

AND IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO ME,

JUST KNOW THAT I'LL WATCH OVER YOU.

MY BIGGEST FEAR IS SOMETHING COULD GO WRONG IN THE SURGERY

BECAUSE OF MY SIZE.

BUT I'M TIRED OF FIGHTING EVERY DAY TO LIVE.

SO I HAVE TO DO THIS.

Dr. Nowzaradan: TODAY, NICOLE IS HAVING HER WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

I'M PLANNING ON DOING A GASTRIC-SLEEVE PROCEDURE

ON HER BECAUSE MOST OF HER WEIGHT IS

IN HER ABDOMEN.

SO THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE ENOUGH SPACE

TO DO A PROCEDURE LIKE A BYPASS.

Dr. Nowzaradan: CAN YOU TURN THE ROOM LIGHT OFF?

Dr. Nowzaradan: DURING A GASTRIC-SLEEVE OPERATION,

WE REMOVE THE MAJORITY OF THE STOMACH.

Dr. Nowzaradan: DROP IT DOWN TO THE BOWEL.

Dr. Nowzaradan: A SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY LIMITS

WHAT A PATIENT CAN EAT IN ONE SITTING.

AND IF THE PATIENT REMAINS DEDICATED,

THEY WILL LOSE A LOT OF WEIGHT QUICKLY.

Dr. Nowzaradan: I'M TEARING UP THE TISSUE.

DON'T PULL HARD.

Charlie: WAITING FOR NEWS IS JUST HARD.

MY EMOTIONS ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE.

ONE MINUTE I'M HAPPY,

THEN I'M SCARED THAT SHE'S NOT GONNA WAKE UP,

SHE'S GONNA DIE ON THE OPERATING TABLE.

BUT SHE'S TAKING THE RISK FOR ME AND KIDS.

ALL RIGHT, GIVE ME ONE MORE DRAIN, PLEASE.

Dr. Nowzaradan: SHE'S GOT A LOT OF SCAR TISSUE

FROM HER C-SECTIONS, AND HAVING TO CUT PAST IT ALL

MAKES THE PROCEDURE A LITTLE BIT MORE COMPLICATED.

WATER, WATER, WATER.

BE CAREFUL.

OKAY, WE'VE GOT THAT FIGURED OUT.

LET'S REMOVE THE STOMACH.

EVERYTHING IS LOOKING GOOD.

WE CAN START TO CLOSE HER UP.

THE ROOM LIGHT ON.

-YES. -ALL RIGHT.

THAT LOOKS GOOD.

NICOLE'S SURGERY WENT PRETTY WELL.

WE ENCOUNTERED A LOT OF ADHESION FROM A PREVIOUS C-SECTION,

BUT I WAS ABLE TO MANAGE IT

AND STILL SUCCESSFULLY PERFORM THE SLEEVE.

Woman: NICOLE, WE'RE ALL DONE, OKAY?

YOU DID GREAT.

THIS SURGERY WILL KEEP HER FOCUSED FOR A BIT.

BUT SHE STILL HAS TO DEAL WITH HER EMOTIONAL ISSUES

TO KEEP MAKING PROGRESS LONG TERM.

AND THAT'S GOING TO BE HARD FOR HER.

NIKKI.

HEY, BABY. YOU ALL RIGHT?

YOUR DAD'S LEG WAS HURTING,

SO THEY WENT HOME.

THEY'VE BEEN GONE FOR A WHILE.

I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU'RE AWAKE,

YOU'RE ALIVE, AND YOU WOKE UP.

THINK ABOUT THIS --

THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE REST OF OUR LIVES.

I KNOW.

Nicole: IT'S BEEN FIVE DAYS SINCE MY SLEEVE SURGERY,

AND I'VE BEEN TRYING TO STAY AS ACTIVE AS I CAN.

'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO DEVELOP ANY ISSUES,

AND I JUST REALLY WANT TO GO HOME.

I HAVEN'T REALLY FELT HUNGRY.

THE NIGHT BEFORE MY SURGERY,

I WAS ACTUALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF A GROCERY STORE.

AND I LITERALLY HAD A BREAKUP WITH FOOD.

I SAID, "I'VE NEEDED YOU FOR SO LONG.

AND I'M GONNA NEED FOOD FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE,

BUT I CAN'T DO THE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU ANYMORE.

I HAVE TO END IT."

AND IT KIND OF MADE ME FEEL BETTER.

SO, YOU READY TO GO HOME?

I AM, BUT I'M WORRIED

BECAUSE OF ALL THE STRESS AND DRAMA

THAT TAKES PLACE IN THE HOUSE.

Nicole: I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S GONNA BE THE SAME

WHEN I GO HOME

BECAUSE THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON BETWEEN ME AND MY DAD.

HE HASN'T COME TO VISIT ME IN THE HOSPITAL.

[ Voice breaking ] AND HE WOULDN'T EVEN CALL ME

OR ANYTHING.

IT HURTS.

IT BREAKS MY HEART.

[ SNIFFLES ]

SO, AS MUCH AS I WANT TO GO HOME, I'M SCARED TO

BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW THINGS ARE GONNA GO.

I GOT HERE BECAUSE I MADE BETTER CHOICES,

AND I HAD MY FAMILY'S SUPPORT.

AND IF THAT'S NO LONGER THE CASE,

I KNOW I'M NOT GONNA HAVE THE STRENGTH

TO STICK WITH THIS FOR LONG.

**

Nicole: IT'S BEEN A COUPLE OF MONTHS SINCE SURGERY,

AND I'VE BEEN WORKING REALLY HARD TO STAY ON TRACK.

WHEN I GOT HOME, THINGS STAYED STRAINED

BETWEEN ME AND MY DAD,

SO I'VE JUST TRIED TO STAY FOCUSED

AND AVOID ANY TEMPTATION WHEN I FEEL OVERWHELMED.

CHARLIE AND I HAVE BEEN GOING OUT TO STAY ACTIVE

AND SPEND TIME TOGETHER NOW THAT I CAN DO MORE

BECAUSE I'VE BEEN PRETTY MUCH BEDRIDDEN

OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP.

AND FOR THE FIRST TIME, THAT'S CHANGING.

-I'M KIND OF... -[ Chuckling ] WHAT?

I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU.

I'VE GOT MY THOUGHTS WRITTEN DOWN.

YOU WROTE ME A LETTER?

"WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOUR YEARS.

IT'S BEEN A CRAZY RIDE FULL OF UPS AND DOWNS,

AND I'M GLAD THEY'VE BEEN WITH YOU.

YOU HAVE SOMETHING I'VE NEVER GAVE TO ANYONE.

IT'S MY HEART.

YOU ARE THE ONE I WANT TO GROW OLD WITH.

WHEN I THINK ABOUT YOU,

I FEEL THE LOVE I'VE WANTED MY WHOLE LIFE.

MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU.

I LOVE YOU WITH EVERYTHING I'VE GOT, NIKKI."

I WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.

[ Laughing ] OKAY. WHAT?

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

[ SNIFFLES ]

ARE YOU CRYING?

DON'T CRY.

SO? -[ LAUGHS ]

-SO? -YES.

-OKAY. -[ LAUGHS ]

THAT GOOD?

I WANT TO DO THIS JOURNEY WITH YOU FOREVER.

IT'S NOT YOUR JOURNEY ANYMORE. IT'S OUR JOURNEY.

I LOVE YOU.

SHE SAID YES! THAT'S WHAT I WANTED.

AT THIS MOMENT, I'M FEELING ECSTATIC --

ENGAGED WITH THE WOMAN I WANT TO BE WITH

FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

I NEVER EXPECTED THIS.

Nicole: I, LIKE, FEEL ON TOP OF THE WORLD,

AND, LIKE, I'M FINALLY STARTING TO HAVE A REAL LIFE.

I NEVER PICTURED YOU PROPOSING TO ME.

[ LAUGHS ]

**

Nicole: TODAY, I'M GONNA TRY TO TALK TO MY MOM

BECAUSE OUR LIVING SITUATION ISN'T GONNA WORK ANYMORE.

[ SIGHS ]

I NEED TO BE IN A MORE STABLE ENVIRONMENT

IF I'M GONNA BE SUCCESSFUL

AND BE THE MOM MY KIDS DESERVE.

I REALLY WANTED TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU AND DAD,

BUT HE'S JUST NOT AROUND RIGHT NOW,

SO I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.

WE MOVED TO TEXAS FOR ME TO GET MY LIFE BACK,

FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO MOVE AND BE ON MY OWN

AND NOT HAVE YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF ME

OR RAISE MY KIDS BECAUSE I'M TOO IMMOBILE TO.

SO I WANT CHARLIE AND THE KIDS TO BE ABLE TO GO OUT

AND GET OUR OWN PLACE

BECAUSE I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF THEM.

AND I THINK IT'S BEST THAT WAY

BECAUSE THERE'S A LOT OF SCREAMING

AND YELLING AND NEGATIVITY IN THIS HOUSE.

AND I JUST -- I CAN'T DEAL WITH IT ANYMORE.

I AIN'T GONNA BE MAD AT YOU 'CAUSE THAT'S

WHAT YOU COME DOWN HERE FOR.

I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOUR FATHER.

HE HAS A PROBLEM, MOM.

THERE IS THOUGHTS IN MY MIND THAT DAD IS DOING DRUGS AGAIN.

AND I DON'T WANT THAT AROUND THE KIDS

BECAUSE THEY'RE GONNA GROW UP THE SAME WAY I DID.

BUT I'M THANKFUL THAT YOU'RE HERE.

YOU'RE MY MOM, AND I LOVE YOU.

AND I LOVE MY DAD, BUT I HAVE TO STAND UP

AND BE THE MOM THAT THE KIDS NEED ME TO BE.

I'M TIRED OF SITTING ON THE SIDELINES.

[ Voice breaking ] I'VE SAT ON THE SIDELINES MY WHOLE LIFE.

AND THAT'S WHY I MADE THIS CHANGE

TO GET RID OF ALL THIS WEIGHT AND TO GET BETTER.

YOU'RE DOING IT.

I WANT YOU TO BE INDEPENDENT AND SUCCESSFUL,

AND I HOPE YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST TO THE END.

[ SIGHS ]

I KNOW.

[LAUGHS] I KNOW. THEY DON'T EVEN LOOK GOOD.

[ LAUGHS ]

Darlene: I WANT NICOLE TO DO WAY BETTER THAN I'VE EVER DID

WITH HER CHILDREN.

AND THEN, I HOPE HER CHILDREN WILL DO WAY BETTER

THAN ALL OF US HAVE EVERY DONE.

Nicole: I KNOW THIS IS GONNA BE HARD.

AND I LOVE MY PARENTS,

BUT THIS IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

**

I'M AT THE DOCTOR'S TO SEE HOW MUCH PROGRESS I'VE MADE.

BUT I FEEL REALLY GOOD.

AND RIGHT NOW, I'M NOT EVEN NERVOUS

ABOUT GETTING ON THE SCALE

BECAUSE I COULD FEEL THE DIFFERENCE IN MY BODY.

[ GASPS ]

-YEAH. -YES.

IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE SEEN MY WEIGHT THAT LOW,

AND I'M REALLY PROUD OF MYSELF.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

-HELLO. -HI.

-HELLO. -TODAY, YOU'RE DOWN

TO 521 POUNDS.

HOW DOES IT FEEL? -IT FEELS AMAZING.

IT'S AN ENTIRE PERSON I LOST OFF MY BODY.

AND I'M JUST DOING MY BEST, AND I'M REALLY PROUD OF MYSELF.

WELL, I'M PROUD OF YOU, TOO.

AND, CHARLIE, I'M GLAD THAT YOU'RE NOT ENABLING HER ANYMORE.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND GOOD LUCK.

-THANK YOU VERY MUCH. -ALL RIGHT.

NICOLE'S DONE VERY WELL.

IT TOOK HER A WHILE TO GET GOING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION,

BUT SHE'S DEALING WITH THE ISSUES THAT SHE NEEDS TO,

AND I'M CONFIDENT SHE WILL STAY ON TRACK OVER THE NEXT YEAR.

Nicole: I'M REALLY HAPPY RIGHT NOW.

THERE HAVE BEEN SO MANY INCREDIBLE CHANGES

TO MY LIFE OVER THE PAST YEAR, AND I'M SO FOCUSED ON BECOMING

THE PERSON AND THE MOM I'VE WANTED TO BE.

**

CHARLIE AND I ARE IN THE PROCESS OF FINDING

A NEW PLACE TO LIVE AND MOVING OUT.

MY PARENTS ARE GONNA STAY HERE TILL THE LEASE IS UP

AND THEN MOVE BACK TO OHIO.

COULD YOU IMAGINE YOURSELF IN THERE HAVING FUN?

DO YOU WANT TO GO?

SO, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN OUR RELATIONSHIP,

WE'RE GONNA BE LIVING ALONE

BECAUSE I CAN DO SO MUCH MORE NOW,

NOT JUST ON MY OWN, BUT WITH MY FAMILY.

LOOK AT YOU, BUBBA!

Nicole: I'VE ALWAYS WANTED US TO BE A FAMILY...

WHEE!

Nicole: AND THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELD US BACK

HAS BEEN ME AND MY WEIGHT.

SHELBY.

Nicole: AND NOW I'M MAKING CHOICES DAILY

TO PUT MY FAMILY FIRST AND MY HEALTH FIRST.

AND EVERY TIME I SEE MY KIDS SMILE,

IT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO WORK EVEN HARDER.

SO I'M NOT GOING TO STOP. -WHOO!

Nicole: I'VE GOT A NEW LIFE...

COME HERE AND GIVE MOMMY A HUG.

Nicole: AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHERE IT TAKES ME NEXT.