Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.SubtitleDB.org today
2
00:00:22,459 --> 00:00:24,126
Hello?
3
00:00:26,126 --> 00:00:27,918
Are you Karl?
4
00:00:28,709 --> 00:00:30,751
I'm Christian.
5
00:00:32,584 --> 00:00:36,584
The guy from Stavanger.
Moving to Oslo.
6
00:00:38,126 --> 00:00:43,251
- Why are you moving to Oslo?
- To finish my sociology studies.
7
00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:46,168
Sure, but why are you moving?
8
00:00:47,459 --> 00:00:51,501
I guess I'm just tired
of living at home.
9
00:00:51,501 --> 00:00:53,876
Are you single?
10
00:00:53,876 --> 00:00:55,584
Am I...?
11
00:00:56,876 --> 00:00:58,626
Yes, I am.
12
00:00:59,709 --> 00:01:01,501
Are you gay?
13
00:01:05,251 --> 00:01:07,001
No, I'm not.
14
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:10,626
You hesitated.
Are you sure?
15
00:01:11,334 --> 00:01:13,584
Yes, I'm positive.
16
00:01:13,584 --> 00:01:18,209
Move a little closer.
Let me look at your face.
17
00:01:20,876 --> 00:01:22,709
Cool.
18
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,334
Hello?
19
00:01:25,334 --> 00:01:28,793
- Did you have a nice talk?
- Yes. Stop nagging!
20
00:01:28,793 --> 00:01:31,543
Where in Oslo are you staying?
21
00:01:31,543 --> 00:01:34,709
- I'm not sure.
- Not all parts are safe.
22
00:01:34,709 --> 00:01:37,001
What do you mean?
23
00:01:37,001 --> 00:01:40,251
- Do you have a rape alarm?
- Shut up!
24
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:49,959
- Why are you going to Oslo?
- To study. How about you?
25
00:01:49,959 --> 00:01:54,418
I'm not going to Oslo. Are you crazy?
My little brother is.
26
00:01:54,418 --> 00:01:59,168
You should get better acquainted.
It's a long train ride.
27
00:01:59,168 --> 00:02:02,751
Just be yourself
and everything will be fine.
28
00:02:02,751 --> 00:02:04,668
I love you.
29
00:02:18,084 --> 00:02:19,793
- Hi.
- Hi.
30
00:02:20,626 --> 00:02:24,376
- Are you that guy's little brother?
- That's me.
31
00:02:24,376 --> 00:02:29,043
Do you think I could get
your brother's phone number?
32
00:02:29,043 --> 00:02:32,209
Yes. Of course.
Sure you can.
33
00:02:32,209 --> 00:02:35,918
- Thank you.
- That is not a problem.
34
00:02:35,918 --> 00:02:37,626
I got it!
35
00:02:52,376 --> 00:02:54,376
- Hi.
- Hi.
36
00:02:55,959 --> 00:03:00,168
- Is this where Karl lives?
- Who's asking?
37
00:03:00,626 --> 00:03:04,459
Christian.
I think I'm moving in here.
38
00:03:06,334 --> 00:03:07,751
Hi there.
Leo.
39
00:03:09,543 --> 00:03:12,168
You're just in time.
40
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:16,668
- Is that for me?
- Sorry, no. It's for Karl.
41
00:03:16,668 --> 00:03:20,918
- Is it his birthday?
- Write "100" on that.
42
00:03:27,418 --> 00:03:30,543
- Red towel means "help."
- Is he with someone?
43
00:03:31,043 --> 00:03:32,334
Open it.
44
00:03:32,334 --> 00:03:36,459
We can't open the door!
What if they're...?
45
00:03:43,709 --> 00:03:45,959
Congratulations!
46
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:50,001
Leo, you didn't have to bake a cake!
47
00:03:50,001 --> 00:03:51,876
Hey, boss.
48
00:03:51,876 --> 00:03:54,043
Say hi to...
49
00:03:54,043 --> 00:03:56,959
You, say hi to Christian.
50
00:03:59,126 --> 00:04:01,584
Christian.
Nice to meet you.
51
00:04:01,584 --> 00:04:04,293
- The hats!
- Right.
52
00:04:04,293 --> 00:04:06,293
Cool!
53
00:04:07,293 --> 00:04:09,376
Don't forget to blow.
54
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:14,334
Is it your birthday, or what?
55
00:04:17,709 --> 00:04:21,334
- Karl, aren't you late for work?
- Shit!
56
00:04:21,334 --> 00:04:24,209
I'm a huge fan.
I love you.
57
00:04:31,751 --> 00:04:33,709
See you later.
58
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:48,376
Have you seriously had sex
with 100 women?
59
00:04:48,376 --> 00:04:51,209
- Did you catch her name?
- Cake lady.
60
00:04:51,209 --> 00:04:54,043
- 7.
- 5.
61
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:56,459
She was a club, I think.
Give me a seven of clubs.
62
00:04:56,459 --> 00:04:59,584
I think you've used them up.
Hang on.
63
00:05:00,168 --> 00:05:03,168
100 women?
How many kids do you have?
64
00:05:03,168 --> 00:05:05,001
On a scale of 1 to 10:
65
00:05:05,001 --> 00:05:07,751
How hairy are your balls?
66
00:05:07,751 --> 00:05:11,626
- Huh?
- How many women have you fucked?
67
00:05:11,626 --> 00:05:15,834
- Does that matter?
- We'll still love you.
68
00:05:15,834 --> 00:05:17,251
Five...
69
00:05:17,251 --> 00:05:19,293
Six...
70
00:05:19,293 --> 00:05:21,209
...thousand.
71
00:05:25,501 --> 00:05:31,751
Your doorbell doesn't work.
When I pushed the buzzer and tried...
72
00:05:31,751 --> 00:05:36,376
Cool story, bro.
We were talking about fucking.
73
00:05:36,376 --> 00:05:39,959
OK, so fucking
is all you talk about here?
74
00:05:39,959 --> 00:05:44,834
Freud said that's all people talk
about. We're just honest about it.
75
00:05:44,834 --> 00:05:48,584
What about you, Leo?
Does that apply to you too?
76
00:05:48,584 --> 00:05:54,293
You've been duped your entire life.
Girls don't want boys like you.
77
00:05:54,293 --> 00:05:57,959
But you're our roommate,
so we'll help you.
78
00:05:57,959 --> 00:06:02,793
The women won the battle of the sexes.
They call all the shots.
79
00:06:02,793 --> 00:06:06,959
Sorry,
but we have to shave your balls now.
80
00:06:08,376 --> 00:06:11,126
Christian!
Christian...
81
00:06:13,668 --> 00:06:15,501
He seems nice.
82
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,001
Son of a bitch!
83
00:06:18,001 --> 00:06:21,959
CRACK, BACK & SACK
84
00:06:55,376 --> 00:06:59,418
You will be presented
with certain methods -
85
00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:02,668
- and what those methods are based on.
86
00:07:02,668 --> 00:07:06,543
And you will also learn
about scientific writing.
87
00:07:07,084 --> 00:07:10,126
How do we write scientific papers?
88
00:07:11,376 --> 00:07:16,376
In other words,
your final thesis should focus on...
89
00:07:24,501 --> 00:07:28,126
OK?
Is that clear to everyone?
90
00:07:29,168 --> 00:07:32,126
There are mandatory activities...
91
00:07:55,918 --> 00:07:58,668
- Please...
- Problem?
92
00:07:58,668 --> 00:08:02,668
- It doesn't work!
- Is this your bachelor thesis?
93
00:08:02,668 --> 00:08:07,709
No, but I have four minutes
to get this in, or I'll fail.
94
00:08:11,626 --> 00:08:14,459
Thank you!
You're my hero!
95
00:08:14,459 --> 00:08:16,584
All I need is a white steed.
96
00:08:16,584 --> 00:08:19,126
- Were you here last year?
- No.
97
00:08:19,126 --> 00:08:22,251
This is my first semester in Oslo.
98
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:25,959
- I live with...
- Sorry, I have to go.
99
00:08:25,959 --> 00:08:30,418
But we're going out for beers
at The Owlery later.
100
00:08:30,418 --> 00:08:32,668
- Christian.
- Hi. Mylian.
101
00:08:33,126 --> 00:08:35,918
- Miriam?
- No. Mylian.
102
00:08:35,918 --> 00:08:39,126
- Mylian.
- See you later. I have to run.
103
00:08:42,168 --> 00:08:45,084
- You got a new job?
- At a nursing home.
104
00:08:45,084 --> 00:08:51,251
- I didn't know that. How is it?
- Fine. But those old folks are insane.
105
00:08:51,251 --> 00:08:52,876
Cool.
106
00:09:00,584 --> 00:09:02,376
Cheers.
107
00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:14,376
- Hi.
- Hi.
108
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:22,001
- What is this?
- Cake.
109
00:09:22,668 --> 00:09:28,626
Congratulations. You are now
officially Oslo's biggest asshole.
110
00:09:28,626 --> 00:09:31,418
- Was it magical?
- Don't be jealous.
111
00:09:31,418 --> 00:09:33,709
Chris, come here!
112
00:09:37,459 --> 00:09:42,168
- "Feed the goat"?
- What happens if you don't feed it?
113
00:09:42,168 --> 00:09:47,168
- It gets hungry?
- First, yes. And then it dies.
114
00:09:47,168 --> 00:09:50,959
But don't worry.
Goats are omnivorous.
115
00:09:50,959 --> 00:09:54,459
- We're going out.
- Sorry, I have to read.
116
00:09:54,459 --> 00:09:56,084
Awesome!
117
00:09:56,084 --> 00:10:00,584
Our new roommate
is an asexual academic.
118
00:10:00,584 --> 00:10:06,209
I like that you label me as asexual
because I haven't slept with...
119
00:10:07,043 --> 00:10:12,126
- A thousand million women.
- It isn't about the number.
120
00:10:12,834 --> 00:10:16,126
OK, you got me there.
It is about the number.
121
00:10:16,126 --> 00:10:21,334
But it's also about radiating
sexuality. Look at me, Christian.
122
00:10:21,334 --> 00:10:23,043
Look at this!
123
00:10:23,668 --> 00:10:28,293
I sweat fucking orgies!
Come on, take a whiff.
124
00:10:28,293 --> 00:10:32,834
- No, I'm not going to smell you.
- Come on. I sweat pussy.
125
00:10:32,834 --> 00:10:35,376
- Want to see my dick?
- No.
126
00:10:35,376 --> 00:10:40,084
- I love showing off my dick.
- I don't doubt it.
127
00:10:40,084 --> 00:10:42,876
- Just look down.
- No.
128
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:46,168
- And there it is.
- Please come out!
129
00:10:46,168 --> 00:10:49,376
You could have
one chick licking your balls -
130
00:10:49,376 --> 00:10:53,543
- and one with your "nose"
in her mouth.
131
00:10:53,543 --> 00:10:56,084
- Please come out with me!
- No.
132
00:10:56,084 --> 00:10:58,001
Fucking loser!
133
00:10:58,834 --> 00:11:01,918
You are the perfect candidate.
134
00:11:02,793 --> 00:11:04,418
For what?
135
00:11:04,418 --> 00:11:09,501
If you do everything I tell you
for the next half year, -
136
00:11:09,501 --> 00:11:13,793
- you can easily reach 123.
- What's that mean?
137
00:11:14,626 --> 00:11:19,626
Casanova shared his cock
with a total of 122 women.
138
00:11:19,626 --> 00:11:23,501
So Karl's goal in life
is to ravish 123 women.
139
00:11:23,501 --> 00:11:25,126
Fuck yeah!
140
00:11:25,126 --> 00:11:30,418
Is it possible to get AIDS
more than once? Like double-AIDS?
141
00:11:30,418 --> 00:11:36,209
- Let it out, Chris. I've been there.
- I haven't known you that long.
142
00:11:36,209 --> 00:11:42,293
But I think you have used all your
energy to fuck as much as possible.
143
00:11:42,293 --> 00:11:45,168
I don't think you've slept with 100.
144
00:11:45,168 --> 00:11:49,501
By New Year's Eve, I'm going
to celebrate that 123 women -
145
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:52,584
- have been swept away
by The Package.
146
00:11:53,084 --> 00:11:55,501
And if you want, -
147
00:11:55,501 --> 00:11:59,168
- we can make a deal
right here and fucking now:
148
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:04,084
If you do everything I say
for the next five months, -
149
00:12:04,084 --> 00:12:09,918
- I'll turn you into a man women
want to share their sexuality with.
150
00:12:09,918 --> 00:12:14,709
OK, so basically I'll be your slave
for a half year...
151
00:12:14,709 --> 00:12:18,584
- Imagine how much you'll learn!
- Sorry, bro.
152
00:12:18,584 --> 00:12:20,751
Chris, come on.
Chris!
153
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:24,793
Imagine the power!
154
00:12:25,959 --> 00:12:30,209
- What did he say?
- "Imagine the power, Christian!"
155
00:12:30,209 --> 00:12:34,251
I think he loves this image of himself
as a sex god.
156
00:12:34,584 --> 00:12:36,793
And you?
157
00:12:36,793 --> 00:12:41,709
- What about me?
- Do you want to be seen as a sex god?
158
00:12:43,043 --> 00:12:48,126
I happen to be an atheist,
so I don't believe in gods.
159
00:12:48,126 --> 00:12:51,251
But that's a stupid answer.
160
00:12:51,626 --> 00:12:53,334
Honest answer.
161
00:12:54,334 --> 00:12:57,334
Seriously?
Yes. I do.
162
00:12:57,334 --> 00:12:58,751
You do?
163
00:12:59,751 --> 00:13:03,168
You want me to view you
as a sex god?
164
00:13:03,834 --> 00:13:05,501
Why?
165
00:13:09,501 --> 00:13:14,334
According to Aristotle,
being sexually active is a virtue.
166
00:13:14,334 --> 00:13:17,209
So according to virtue ethics...
167
00:13:17,209 --> 00:13:20,376
Come on,
no sneaky philosophical answers.
168
00:13:20,376 --> 00:13:25,584
A sneaky question deserves
a sneaky answer. Tit for tat.
169
00:13:26,918 --> 00:13:30,834
Are you coming to The Owlery tonight?
170
00:13:30,834 --> 00:13:33,543
I was planning on reading.
171
00:13:34,251 --> 00:13:35,751
Are you going?
172
00:13:35,751 --> 00:13:37,876
Yes.
With you.
173
00:13:41,043 --> 00:13:44,501
- All right. Maybe.
- Not maybe. Join me.
174
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:51,376
And I'll tell all my girlfriends
what a sex god you are.
175
00:13:52,751 --> 00:13:54,959
They already know.
176
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,918
I sent out a group e-mail.
177
00:13:57,918 --> 00:14:02,876
If you have any intention
of passing on your genes, be careful.
178
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:07,293
"Mylian" sounds like something
from Lord of the Rings.
179
00:14:07,293 --> 00:14:12,209
I hereby forbid you to think
about Mulan...Mylian...Muliano.
180
00:14:12,584 --> 00:14:16,209
- Why?
- Because you like her.
181
00:14:16,209 --> 00:14:19,876
I can't talk to her
because I like her?
182
00:14:19,876 --> 00:14:24,751
Like her as much as you want,
just stop caring so much.
183
00:14:25,793 --> 00:14:29,668
Mylion... Muylita... Muyliano...
184
00:14:30,834 --> 00:14:34,459
Sounds like a French porn actress.
185
00:14:34,459 --> 00:14:36,834
She may not even like me.
186
00:14:39,293 --> 00:14:43,501
Can we talk about something else?
Forget it!
187
00:14:43,501 --> 00:14:46,584
Don't worry.
They'll calm down, mom.
188
00:15:11,418 --> 00:15:13,251
Dick or sack?
189
00:15:13,251 --> 00:15:15,834
- What?
- Dick or sack?
190
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,751
- Sack?
- Dick.
191
00:15:19,751 --> 00:15:21,959
- It was dick.
- OK.
192
00:15:31,084 --> 00:15:33,001
Dick or sack?
193
00:15:35,459 --> 00:15:37,626
Sack.
194
00:15:37,626 --> 00:15:40,459
- What the hell is that?
- Huh?
195
00:15:40,459 --> 00:15:44,751
What is that?
Your dick is supposed to be a reward.
196
00:15:44,751 --> 00:15:47,626
That looks like a fucking punishment.
197
00:15:47,626 --> 00:15:49,334
Dick or sack?
198
00:15:50,334 --> 00:15:52,209
- Dick.
- Sack.
199
00:15:52,209 --> 00:15:57,251
People go out to get pussy.
We go out to give dick.
200
00:15:59,043 --> 00:16:01,084
- Hello, boys.
- Hi!
201
00:16:01,084 --> 00:16:04,001
- This is Christian.
- Elisa.
202
00:16:04,001 --> 00:16:09,459
He may seem shy, but once you get
his clothes off, he's a monster.
203
00:16:09,459 --> 00:16:11,709
Like the Hulk?
204
00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:15,543
I like to call myself
the Incredible Spunk.
205
00:16:19,293 --> 00:16:21,793
That was really bad.
206
00:16:25,668 --> 00:16:28,959
Chicks consider me
a good lay, period.
207
00:16:28,959 --> 00:16:34,293
We don't realize that you're
just using us as hot sex objects.
208
00:16:35,168 --> 00:16:38,043
Let me know if you feel abused.
209
00:16:38,043 --> 00:16:40,584
Don't you worry about that.
210
00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:43,251
Nobody can abuse the Spunk.
211
00:16:45,626 --> 00:16:49,001
- Are you all right?
- Yes. I'm fine.
212
00:16:49,793 --> 00:16:54,043
But you really have to stop
saying Spunk.
213
00:16:54,043 --> 00:16:56,876
I'll do my best.
214
00:16:56,876 --> 00:17:01,293
- Elisa, where are we going?
- It's your party.
215
00:17:01,293 --> 00:17:06,168
Let's go to The Owlery.
Good prices, good people.
216
00:17:06,168 --> 00:17:10,293
Fuck it!
The Party Prince has spoken.
217
00:17:10,293 --> 00:17:12,668
One last round of champagne?
218
00:17:41,709 --> 00:17:43,793
- Has she called?
- Huh?
219
00:17:43,793 --> 00:17:46,293
- Has she called?
- No, not yet.
220
00:17:46,293 --> 00:17:51,959
- Have you texted her?
- Three times. She hasn't responded.
221
00:17:52,543 --> 00:17:57,168
Trust me. Don't send any more.
You'll just seem pushy.
222
00:17:57,168 --> 00:17:59,376
Now you sound like Karl.
223
00:17:59,376 --> 00:18:04,293
I hate to admit it,
but sometimes he's actually right.
224
00:18:08,126 --> 00:18:09,709
Fuck it.
225
00:18:09,709 --> 00:18:12,168
- I'm leaving.
- No, no!
226
00:18:12,168 --> 00:18:17,751
Do you realize how easy it is to hook
up here? These hippies are starving.
227
00:18:17,751 --> 00:18:20,209
- Some other time.
- I'm serious!
228
00:18:20,209 --> 00:18:24,668
They don't care if your balls aren't
shaved, as long as your face is.
229
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:28,418
Some other time.
I'll see you later.
230
00:18:28,418 --> 00:18:31,251
- Christian...
- See you later.
231
00:18:32,626 --> 00:18:37,126
Chris, could you bring Elisa home?
She has to get to bed.
232
00:18:37,126 --> 00:18:41,876
- Bring Elisa home, Christian.
- I don't want to get puked on.
233
00:18:41,876 --> 00:18:44,751
Fuck you!
What time is it?
234
00:18:54,959 --> 00:18:58,501
I'm OK.
I can take your shoes.
235
00:18:58,501 --> 00:19:02,626
- Up you go!
- You're a good person.
236
00:19:07,001 --> 00:19:10,334
You aren't going to rape me, are you?
237
00:19:10,334 --> 00:19:14,418
No, I am definitely not
going to rape you.
238
00:19:14,418 --> 00:19:17,334
- Come on.
- That's swell of you.
239
00:19:18,126 --> 00:19:20,751
Can you make it from here?
240
00:19:20,751 --> 00:19:23,626
- Great. OK. Bye.
- Bye.
241
00:21:17,376 --> 00:21:19,376
Rise and shine, Karl!
242
00:21:19,376 --> 00:21:24,084
Oh, shit. My alarm didn't ring.
I have to get to work.
243
00:21:28,376 --> 00:21:30,459
See you later.
244
00:21:39,209 --> 00:21:40,959
You live here?
245
00:21:42,168 --> 00:21:44,043
Were you...
246
00:21:45,626 --> 00:21:49,501
- Were you out late last night?
- Yeah.
247
00:21:49,501 --> 00:21:51,626
Real late.
248
00:21:55,751 --> 00:22:00,293
Are you hungry?
I could make some chicken.
249
00:22:00,293 --> 00:22:04,251
No thanks, I'm not that hungry.
I should leave.
250
00:22:04,668 --> 00:22:07,043
Do you have all your things?
251
00:22:08,001 --> 00:22:09,709
But...
252
00:22:11,918 --> 00:22:14,251
- See you later?
- Yeah.
253
00:22:14,251 --> 00:22:16,459
I'll give you a call, OK?
254
00:22:34,751 --> 00:22:36,501
She was cute.
255
00:22:38,418 --> 00:22:40,793
So fucking -
256
00:22:41,376 --> 00:22:43,501
- tight.
257
00:22:45,334 --> 00:22:49,668
- But not worthy of breakfast?
- She snored.
258
00:22:49,668 --> 00:22:56,043
Or, she made these sleeping sounds.
Some sort of weird breathing.
259
00:22:56,043 --> 00:22:58,168
What was her name?
260
00:22:59,709 --> 00:23:01,168
I can't remember.
261
00:23:01,626 --> 00:23:03,543
Just feeding the goat.
262
00:23:05,209 --> 00:23:07,334
She was hot.
263
00:23:07,334 --> 00:23:09,918
A little boring in bed.
264
00:23:57,834 --> 00:23:59,293
Dick or sack?
265
00:24:01,084 --> 00:24:03,084
- Dick.
- Nope.
266
00:24:04,668 --> 00:24:07,418
- Of course it is.
- Nope.
267
00:24:29,709 --> 00:24:31,959
- OK.
- What?
268
00:24:31,959 --> 00:24:34,543
- I'm in.
- In on what?
269
00:24:34,543 --> 00:24:36,293
Teach me.
270
00:24:37,418 --> 00:24:40,668
- It'll be hectic.
- And painful.
271
00:24:40,668 --> 00:24:46,126
Nagging, grumpy neighbors,
hangovers... It'll be legendary!
272
00:24:46,126 --> 00:24:51,876
Are you ready to become a charming
asshole that girls want to sleep with?
273
00:24:51,876 --> 00:24:54,043
You bet your ass!
274
00:24:54,584 --> 00:24:59,084
- Ouch! Shit!
- We are a low caste, but we rebel.
275
00:24:59,084 --> 00:25:03,626
The Oslo and Surrounding Area
Fucking Caste.
276
00:25:04,376 --> 00:25:06,543
One day, Chris...
277
00:25:06,543 --> 00:25:09,626
One day this will all be yours.
278
00:25:18,043 --> 00:25:21,668
- The first girl you had sex with?
- Susann.
279
00:25:21,668 --> 00:25:25,251
- We had sex on a slope.
- Susann.
280
00:25:25,251 --> 00:25:30,251
- She screwed Terje the same night.
- Fuck her. She's probably obese now.
281
00:25:30,251 --> 00:25:34,626
The second time, are you sure
there was full penetration?
282
00:25:34,626 --> 00:25:37,126
Pretty sure.
I think.
283
00:25:37,126 --> 00:25:41,043
The head of your penis inside
at least once?
284
00:25:41,043 --> 00:25:44,251
- I'm pretty sure it was.
- Pimp!
285
00:25:49,501 --> 00:25:52,126
That's pretty impressive.
286
00:25:52,126 --> 00:25:57,709
Don't worry.
By New Year's you'll be way up here.
287
00:25:57,709 --> 00:26:02,709
- I can guarantee at least five.
- Three more? In three months?
288
00:26:02,709 --> 00:26:08,043
Before New Year's
you'll be at five and I'll be at 123.
289
00:26:11,668 --> 00:26:13,751
What's on your mind?
290
00:26:14,376 --> 00:26:19,959
This may sound stupid, but what
happened to just "being yourself"?
291
00:26:21,626 --> 00:26:26,418
OK, Chris, your mother raised you
to be nice and sweet.
292
00:26:26,918 --> 00:26:32,834
And worst of all, to be yourself.
What if "yourself" isn't good enough?
293
00:26:32,834 --> 00:26:37,709
What if "yourself"
is a boring, ugly nerd?
294
00:26:37,709 --> 00:26:41,293
If you smell bad, take a shower.
295
00:26:41,293 --> 00:26:45,501
If there's a dead whore
in your living room, get rid of her.
296
00:26:45,501 --> 00:26:48,543
Adaptation is as natural as evolution.
297
00:26:48,543 --> 00:26:55,001
"Yourself" is a term for losers
who sit at home whacking off. Agreed?
298
00:26:55,001 --> 00:26:57,293
- Yes.
- Pimp.
299
00:26:58,084 --> 00:27:00,001
For starters:
300
00:27:00,001 --> 00:27:05,168
It's essential that you control
every social situation.
301
00:27:05,543 --> 00:27:10,876
It helps if you're wealthy
or have a magical penis like Leo, -
302
00:27:10,876 --> 00:27:15,293
- but all it comes down to
is how you communicate.
303
00:27:15,293 --> 00:27:21,334
Most girls think that a set number
of boys are their perfect match.
304
00:27:21,334 --> 00:27:25,126
And that's fine.
We can take advantage of that.
305
00:27:25,126 --> 00:27:31,501
Get as close to her physically
as possible, without it being awkward.
306
00:27:31,501 --> 00:27:37,459
You're a little too close to Leo now,
but look how close I am to you.
307
00:27:37,459 --> 00:27:41,751
With indirect body language,
I can get much closer.
308
00:27:41,751 --> 00:27:46,459
But what if I go like this?
"Hey, can I buy you a drink?"
309
00:27:46,459 --> 00:27:50,751
- Touch everyone, even boys.
- You mean grope?
310
00:27:50,751 --> 00:27:55,084
No, don't grope.
Create physical closeness.
311
00:27:55,084 --> 00:27:58,251
Always touch them in a natural manner.
312
00:27:58,251 --> 00:28:01,959
She'll never want you
to play with her pussy, -
313
00:28:01,959 --> 00:28:06,584
- unless you've played with
her arms and shoulders first.
314
00:28:07,209 --> 00:28:13,126
Analyze who they are with.
All other boys are considered enemies.
315
00:28:13,126 --> 00:28:17,293
More on that later.
What do you see over there?
316
00:28:17,293 --> 00:28:19,043
- Two girls.
- Wrong.
317
00:28:19,043 --> 00:28:22,501
A hot girl with an ugly girlfriend.
318
00:28:27,751 --> 00:28:30,543
Ready?
What's she look like?
319
00:28:30,543 --> 00:28:33,709
Huh? Right.
She has a white shirt...
320
00:28:33,709 --> 00:28:36,751
Wrong!
She's naked on top of you!
321
00:28:50,751 --> 00:28:55,001
Hi, you look great!
How's it going?
322
00:28:55,001 --> 00:28:57,084
How do you know Karl?
323
00:28:57,084 --> 00:28:58,751
Who?
324
00:29:04,251 --> 00:29:09,376
Three-second rule: Talk to someone
you like within three seconds.
325
00:29:09,376 --> 00:29:13,668
- What should I say?
- It's all about the delivery.
326
00:29:17,334 --> 00:29:21,918
Hi! This is my roommate.
The coolest guy in the world.
327
00:29:21,918 --> 00:29:23,459
Hi.
Tove.
328
00:29:23,459 --> 00:29:28,001
Tove is a nurse,
but she's terrified of shots.
329
00:29:28,001 --> 00:29:29,751
Cool!
330
00:29:33,043 --> 00:29:36,209
So...why are you so afraid of shots?
331
00:29:38,459 --> 00:29:42,251
I probably got scared
when I was a kid, or something.
332
00:29:42,251 --> 00:29:45,918
- We aren't actually roommates.
- Who?
333
00:29:45,918 --> 00:29:48,751
Me and...
Me and Karl.
334
00:29:48,751 --> 00:29:53,793
I mean, we live together.
In the same apartment.
335
00:29:54,418 --> 00:29:58,709
That is, I moved in.
From Stavanger.
336
00:29:58,876 --> 00:30:01,626
You have beautiful eyes.
337
00:30:02,126 --> 00:30:04,001
Thank you.
338
00:30:04,001 --> 00:30:06,376
I'm a little thirsty.
339
00:30:09,793 --> 00:30:12,459
- What would you like?
- Strawberry daiquiri.
340
00:30:12,459 --> 00:30:15,459
One strawberry daggery.
341
00:30:16,043 --> 00:30:20,834
I was wondering.
Could I have your phone number?
342
00:30:20,834 --> 00:30:24,001
- I don't know...
- You have a boyfriend?
343
00:30:24,001 --> 00:30:25,626
- No.
- You don't?
344
00:30:27,001 --> 00:30:28,709
Come on.
345
00:30:29,126 --> 00:30:30,918
Let's have it.
346
00:30:35,668 --> 00:30:37,501
But...
347
00:30:37,501 --> 00:30:43,084
I have to work early tomorrow.
I should probably get going.
348
00:30:47,376 --> 00:30:51,876
- What was that?
- A free drink and some attention.
349
00:30:51,876 --> 00:30:54,918
- Never start by buying them a drink.
- I didn't!
350
00:30:54,918 --> 00:30:56,293
You did.
351
00:30:56,293 --> 00:31:01,418
She just lumped you together
with the rest of the goats.
352
00:31:01,418 --> 00:31:06,043
You elevated her way above you.
She should buy you a drink.
353
00:31:08,751 --> 00:31:10,918
- How did it go?
- I got her number.
354
00:31:10,918 --> 00:31:12,918
Let me see!
355
00:31:16,251 --> 00:31:19,543
What did you do?
What should I say?
356
00:31:19,543 --> 00:31:22,793
Say hi.
Invite her up here, or something.
357
00:31:22,793 --> 00:31:24,543
Hello?
358
00:31:27,084 --> 00:31:30,793
- What happened?
- It was an old folks' home.
359
00:31:30,793 --> 00:31:35,501
- It was the night watchman.
- Don't worry about it.
360
00:31:35,918 --> 00:31:39,918
She's a nurse.
It was probably her work number.
361
00:31:50,043 --> 00:31:54,918
Holy crap, Karl!
You still have your dildo collection?
362
00:31:54,918 --> 00:31:57,209
I told you I did.
363
00:31:57,209 --> 00:32:01,168
This is Nils.
This is Johnny, who resembles Leo's.
364
00:32:01,168 --> 00:32:04,209
Flicky, and Big Jim.
365
00:32:05,334 --> 00:32:07,168
Perfect.
366
00:32:13,168 --> 00:32:16,834
Leo's about to fuck that girl.
367
00:32:16,834 --> 00:32:20,543
Hearing other people have sex
makes chicks horny.
368
00:32:20,543 --> 00:32:23,459
That's when we strike.
I'll take Guro.
369
00:32:23,459 --> 00:32:27,334
That Filipino chick goes crazy
once she's naked.
370
00:32:27,334 --> 00:32:28,959
Or so I've heard.
371
00:32:28,959 --> 00:32:31,251
- Are you in?
- Sure.
372
00:32:37,251 --> 00:32:39,126
Here we go!
373
00:33:22,251 --> 00:33:26,209
Imagine if we ended up
on a desert island.
374
00:33:26,209 --> 00:33:31,168
That would suck.
I have to leave now. See you later.
375
00:33:41,001 --> 00:33:46,459
- How long before you go over to her?
- Three seconds tops.
376
00:33:46,459 --> 00:33:49,043
And if she asks for a drink?
377
00:33:49,043 --> 00:33:53,084
Politely decline,
and try to get her to buy me one.
378
00:33:53,084 --> 00:33:57,293
Excellent.
We've fed you a lot of information.
379
00:33:57,293 --> 00:34:02,251
All that's important now,
is that you're totally relaxed.
380
00:34:21,751 --> 00:34:24,334
- Hi!
- Hi.
381
00:34:40,876 --> 00:34:44,001
- Sorry.
- Don't worry about it.
382
00:34:44,001 --> 00:34:47,001
I didn't know what to say.
383
00:34:49,043 --> 00:34:51,543
- Hi, I'm Leo.
- Hi, Leo.
384
00:34:51,543 --> 00:34:55,501
- Have you met Christian?
- Hi. Christian.
385
00:34:55,501 --> 00:34:58,793
We went to
music kindergarten together.
386
00:34:58,793 --> 00:35:03,668
He's the only person I know
who plays rhythm sticks off-key.
387
00:35:03,668 --> 00:35:05,334
Feed the goat.
388
00:35:05,334 --> 00:35:10,126
Leo played this little mini guitar
while I sang.
389
00:35:10,126 --> 00:35:15,209
The kindergarten teachers
threw their bras at us.
390
00:35:15,209 --> 00:35:18,793
- What did you want to become?
- A stewardess.
391
00:35:27,209 --> 00:35:30,418
- What was that?
- That can happen to anyone.
392
00:35:30,418 --> 00:35:31,918
What do I do now?
393
00:35:35,959 --> 00:35:39,126
- Fuck it. Take her back.
- Are you nuts?
394
00:35:39,126 --> 00:35:43,834
Trust me.
Just go right over there and kiss her.
395
00:35:43,834 --> 00:35:47,543
- Are you sure...
- Shut up. Go for the kiss.
396
00:36:03,501 --> 00:36:08,084
What the hell do you think
you're doing, snail dick?
397
00:36:10,918 --> 00:36:12,834
Good work, boss!
398
00:36:17,418 --> 00:36:19,418
What the hell?
399
00:36:20,459 --> 00:36:26,043
- Hang on, let me kill this faggot.
- He's with me. I told him to do it.
400
00:36:26,043 --> 00:36:28,668
Really?
Nice to meet you.
401
00:36:29,543 --> 00:36:32,751
I'm The Punisher.
Let's get a drink.
402
00:36:37,959 --> 00:36:40,376
Karl may seem cynical.
403
00:36:40,834 --> 00:36:46,209
But compared to The Punisher
he's a study in refined style.
404
00:36:46,209 --> 00:36:52,293
That goat has a constant hard-on.
He won't stop until he gets laid.
405
00:36:53,251 --> 00:36:56,376
And when he eventually does score, -
406
00:36:56,376 --> 00:37:00,084
- he always tries
to butt-fuck the girl.
407
00:37:00,084 --> 00:37:03,834
He feels they deserve it
for playing hard to get.
408
00:37:03,834 --> 00:37:06,959
Thus the name, The Punisher.
409
00:37:11,793 --> 00:37:14,126
It's a fucking war out there.
410
00:37:14,126 --> 00:37:16,084
A war?
411
00:37:16,084 --> 00:37:18,084
- Hi there!
- Hi!
412
00:37:18,084 --> 00:37:21,043
It's great to see you again.
413
00:37:21,043 --> 00:37:24,418
Last time was a little embarrassing.
414
00:37:24,418 --> 00:37:28,251
You have nothing
to be embarrassed about.
415
00:37:28,251 --> 00:37:32,501
But you did propose to me,
so we are engaged.
416
00:37:33,084 --> 00:37:35,043
You said yes?
417
00:37:35,043 --> 00:37:38,668
Nyah.
I said I'd think about it.
418
00:37:38,668 --> 00:37:42,376
- Hi. Good to see you again.
- Hi!
419
00:37:42,376 --> 00:37:45,626
- Hi. Line.
- Hi. Kine.
420
00:37:45,626 --> 00:37:48,709
- Kine and Trine?
- Kine and Line.
421
00:37:48,709 --> 00:37:50,876
Gotta keep my dick straight.
422
00:40:32,709 --> 00:40:34,459
Hey...
423
00:40:35,709 --> 00:40:37,834
Is it OK if we just...
424
00:40:37,834 --> 00:40:40,293
Sure.
Of course.
425
00:41:43,668 --> 00:41:49,001
I'm not the type to stick my finger
up girls' asses on the dance floor.
426
00:41:49,001 --> 00:41:53,043
The Punisher's just messing around.
427
00:41:53,043 --> 00:41:58,751
Why do girls go home with cavemen
who use their dicks like clubs?
428
00:41:59,209 --> 00:42:00,959
I don't get it.
429
00:42:01,918 --> 00:42:05,668
Aren't you working on
a degree in sociology?
430
00:42:05,668 --> 00:42:09,668
You're the scholar here.
Figure it out.
431
00:42:23,834 --> 00:42:26,251
Equal rights in Noray
432
00:42:45,084 --> 00:42:47,793
"My Crack, Back & Shaven Sack. "
433
00:42:47,793 --> 00:42:51,584
"The division of power
between the sexes -
434
00:42:51,584 --> 00:42:54,293
- in today's post-feminist society."
435
00:42:54,293 --> 00:42:59,918
- What's it about?
- It's about living in Norway in 2013.
436
00:43:00,959 --> 00:43:02,459
With a penis.
437
00:43:03,501 --> 00:43:05,459
Is that a bad thing?
438
00:43:05,459 --> 00:43:10,293
In Norway today, women live
five years longer than men.
439
00:43:10,293 --> 00:43:13,584
Nine out of ten jail inmates are men.
440
00:43:13,584 --> 00:43:17,418
Three of four suicides.
We have military service.
441
00:43:17,418 --> 00:43:22,751
Men are overrepresented when
it comes to accidents, drowning, -
442
00:43:22,751 --> 00:43:24,918
- drunkenness, depression.
443
00:43:24,918 --> 00:43:29,418
In nine of ten divorces,
the women get the children.
444
00:43:29,418 --> 00:43:33,584
Women get better grades than men
in 90 % of courses.
445
00:43:33,584 --> 00:43:37,834
And women have all the power
in the gender market.
446
00:43:37,834 --> 00:43:43,751
- We were oppressed for 60,000 years.
- But I'm talking about today.
447
00:43:44,334 --> 00:43:48,584
- So now you're the oppressed ones?
- Yes.
448
00:43:48,584 --> 00:43:53,001
Everyone can see it, but women
are still portrayed as the victims.
449
00:43:53,001 --> 00:43:56,459
Just because
there are fewer female leaders.
450
00:43:56,459 --> 00:43:58,709
So why are fewer leaders female?
451
00:43:58,709 --> 00:44:05,584
Because being the CEO of Statoil is
a shit job that no one really wants.
452
00:44:05,584 --> 00:44:08,751
Unless you're a narcissistic bastard
that loves pussy.
453
00:44:08,751 --> 00:44:10,793
- And money.
- And power.
454
00:44:10,793 --> 00:44:14,043
And what do you use that
money and power for?
455
00:44:14,043 --> 00:44:18,459
To drink champagne out of the ass
of some hot heiress.
456
00:44:18,459 --> 00:44:23,709
I'm not sure it's as lopsided
as you make it sound.
457
00:44:23,709 --> 00:44:27,543
Chris,
tonight I'm taking you to Nirvana.
458
00:44:40,209 --> 00:44:45,751
Are we picking up lesbians?
This place is full of homos.
459
00:44:45,751 --> 00:44:50,626
Relax. Savor the atmosphere.
How many desperate men do you see?
460
00:44:50,626 --> 00:44:55,834
How many grumpy girls
yelling at some guy for making a move?
461
00:44:57,876 --> 00:45:02,584
- I've never been to a gay bar.
- You're treated like a human here.
462
00:45:02,584 --> 00:45:05,876
It's a great place
to hang out and relax.
463
00:45:05,876 --> 00:45:10,043
Here, any one man
is worth as much as another.
464
00:45:11,834 --> 00:45:13,543
Look at that guy.
465
00:45:14,626 --> 00:45:19,834
Jesus, another ten shots,
and he could have me fooled.
466
00:45:21,501 --> 00:45:25,043
Have you ever done it?
With a man?
467
00:45:26,376 --> 00:45:28,876
It isn't my cup of tea.
468
00:45:28,876 --> 00:45:30,751
- How about you?
- Right!
469
00:45:31,376 --> 00:45:35,584
I'm 24 years old
and have had sex with two women.
470
00:45:35,584 --> 00:45:40,459
I'm due a little more pussy
before I switch to cock and ass.
471
00:45:40,459 --> 00:45:42,626
Did I hear "ass"?
472
00:45:44,543 --> 00:45:47,293
- Mind if we join you?
- Not at all!
473
00:45:49,626 --> 00:45:53,001
Ten shots.
You said ten shots.
474
00:45:55,043 --> 00:45:57,834
- Cheers!
- Cumshots!
475
00:46:02,876 --> 00:46:05,084
OK!
Hang on...
476
00:46:05,084 --> 00:46:08,918
Christian, bring those two girls home.
477
00:46:08,918 --> 00:46:13,668
Can't we just pretend like
we're gay tonight?
478
00:46:13,668 --> 00:46:17,001
- Not a chance. Go!
- Christian!
479
00:46:17,709 --> 00:46:20,793
Hi, excuse me for interrupting.
480
00:46:20,793 --> 00:46:26,834
Could I just stand here
and pretend like I'm picking you up?
481
00:46:26,834 --> 00:46:31,418
Just until my friend is satisfied?
He won't stop nagging.
482
00:46:31,418 --> 00:46:33,626
- Of course.
- Cool.
483
00:46:34,668 --> 00:46:38,626
Quite the pressure.
Could I bum a cigarette?
484
00:46:38,626 --> 00:46:42,126
- Where are we going now?
- My place!
485
00:46:42,126 --> 00:46:45,418
- Isn't he coming?
- No, he has things to do.
486
00:46:45,418 --> 00:46:47,043
How old are you?
487
00:46:47,043 --> 00:46:48,751
58.
488
00:46:48,751 --> 00:46:50,584
And you?
489
00:46:50,584 --> 00:46:53,209
- What do you think?
- 16.
490
00:47:35,251 --> 00:47:37,459
- Hi.
- Shh!
491
00:47:39,793 --> 00:47:43,043
- Are you in here?
- Who is that?
492
00:47:45,543 --> 00:47:47,459
Hi.
I'm Christian.
493
00:47:49,376 --> 00:47:53,209
Have you eaten?
Why don't I make breakfast?
494
00:47:53,209 --> 00:47:54,918
No, I'm fine.
495
00:47:55,543 --> 00:47:59,751
Where are the car keys, mom?
I'm meeting Kaja.
496
00:47:59,751 --> 00:48:03,334
- You can drive Christian home.
- Seriously?
497
00:48:03,334 --> 00:48:06,626
No, really.
Don't worry about me.
498
00:48:06,626 --> 00:48:10,043
- It's the least we can do.
- I'll take the tram.
499
00:48:31,668 --> 00:48:34,793
- Talk to me.
- What?
500
00:48:34,793 --> 00:48:38,001
No bullshit.
Have you fucked?
501
00:48:42,459 --> 00:48:44,209
Yes!
502
00:48:46,126 --> 00:48:47,501
Fuck!
503
00:48:54,001 --> 00:48:56,459
What the hell is going on?
504
00:49:00,001 --> 00:49:03,084
- Did you get laid?
- Like a madman!
505
00:49:03,084 --> 00:49:06,376
- She was pretty old.
- Shut up! Women age like wine!
506
00:49:06,376 --> 00:49:09,168
I'm proud of you.
Well done.
507
00:49:09,876 --> 00:49:13,209
Chris, stand up.
Stand up!
508
00:49:15,293 --> 00:49:19,834
I hereby appoint you
as Oslo Fuck Club's -
509
00:49:19,834 --> 00:49:23,084
- first official Big Cat.
510
00:49:24,876 --> 00:49:26,876
For the one of us who, -
511
00:49:26,876 --> 00:49:30,959
- at any given time,
last fucked a new chick.
512
00:49:34,209 --> 00:49:36,126
OK, fuck it.
513
00:49:36,126 --> 00:49:39,959
You have been fantastic.
You too, Leo.
514
00:49:39,959 --> 00:49:45,709
I'll admit it. I've been holding back.
But that's over now.
515
00:49:45,709 --> 00:49:52,001
Now it's all about cock, pussy, S&M
in the woods and fucking lesbians.
516
00:49:52,001 --> 00:49:54,543
Try stopping me, Middle Cat.
517
00:49:54,543 --> 00:49:57,168
- Burn!
- Shut up, Baby Cat!
518
00:49:57,168 --> 00:49:59,168
Come on.
Maja!
519
00:49:59,584 --> 00:50:01,751
Maja!
520
00:50:02,959 --> 00:50:07,251
- Time for a party!
- I'll kill your whole family, Karl!
521
00:50:07,751 --> 00:50:12,584
OK. We have six hours
to organize the party of the year.
522
00:50:12,584 --> 00:50:15,834
The mother-in-law of all parties.
523
00:50:15,834 --> 00:50:20,876
Chris, you have to find
as much alcohol as you possibly can.
524
00:50:20,876 --> 00:50:26,959
Leo, you handle the crazy shit. Here's
my card, don't tell me what you buy.
525
00:50:26,959 --> 00:50:33,501
Maja, you call every girl you have
ever met in the surrounding area.
526
00:50:33,501 --> 00:50:37,001
- You know more than I do.
- He's fucked 90 % of them.
527
00:50:37,001 --> 00:50:40,918
It would be kind of like Hefner,
partying with girls you've screwed.
528
00:50:40,918 --> 00:50:44,043
- Fine, we both score chicks.
- Fuck you.
529
00:50:44,043 --> 00:50:46,751
- Excellent.
- Maja?
530
00:50:46,751 --> 00:50:50,793
- What if we don't feed the goat?
- It gets hungry.
531
00:50:50,793 --> 00:50:52,418
Feed the goat!
532
00:51:25,501 --> 00:51:29,293
- You should get a jacuzzi.
- More champagne?
533
00:51:31,584 --> 00:51:33,459
- Hi.
- Hi.
534
00:51:36,293 --> 00:51:39,043
I was invited, if...
535
00:51:39,043 --> 00:51:41,584
Of course, no problem.
536
00:51:41,584 --> 00:51:46,001
As long as it's been cleared
by the goat.
537
00:51:46,001 --> 00:51:49,168
So...
It's good to see you.
538
00:51:49,168 --> 00:51:51,334
Likewise.
539
00:51:51,334 --> 00:51:55,918
- You want something to drink?
- I brought my own.
540
00:51:57,668 --> 00:51:59,584
Dick or sack?
541
00:51:59,584 --> 00:52:02,084
- Huh?
- Dick or sack?
542
00:52:07,334 --> 00:52:09,334
Sack?
543
00:52:09,334 --> 00:52:11,626
Wrong.
It was dick.
544
00:52:12,459 --> 00:52:18,793
I thought you of all people would
recognize a dick when you saw one.
545
00:53:06,751 --> 00:53:10,751
Hey, maybe it's time
to start calming down?
546
00:53:10,751 --> 00:53:14,209
The goat needs to be fed.
It needs to.
547
00:53:14,209 --> 00:53:17,459
Or else the SPCA
will get mad at us -
548
00:53:17,459 --> 00:53:21,251
- and all hell will break loose.
We don't want that.
549
00:54:35,834 --> 00:54:37,584
Sorry!
550
00:54:42,584 --> 00:54:44,418
Listen...
551
00:54:45,251 --> 00:54:47,459
I should leave now.
552
00:54:47,459 --> 00:54:50,084
Do you want to walk me out?
553
00:54:50,084 --> 00:54:53,084
I just have to say bye to Maja.
554
00:54:53,084 --> 00:54:56,668
Thanks for tonight.
It was awesome.
555
00:55:09,126 --> 00:55:14,043
I think it's best for everyone
if I go home with you.
556
00:56:43,334 --> 00:56:45,126
Hello!
557
00:56:47,876 --> 00:56:51,668
How are things here?
Did I wake you up?
558
00:56:54,626 --> 00:56:57,668
Were you at a party last night?
559
00:57:05,459 --> 00:57:09,126
All right, bye.
See you on Sunday.
560
00:57:31,209 --> 00:57:33,126
There you go.
561
00:57:35,626 --> 00:57:37,543
What's your name?
562
00:57:37,543 --> 00:57:39,209
Mads, was it?
563
00:57:40,168 --> 00:57:42,084
Mads is a super name.
564
00:57:43,126 --> 00:57:45,126
How old are you?
565
00:57:46,543 --> 00:57:48,501
How old are you?
566
00:57:48,501 --> 00:57:49,918
One?
567
00:57:49,918 --> 00:57:52,959
- Answer Christian.
- Two?
568
00:57:52,959 --> 00:57:55,501
You don't have to answer.
569
00:57:56,668 --> 00:57:58,418
Hello!
570
00:57:59,334 --> 00:58:01,084
Hello!
571
00:58:09,543 --> 00:58:11,376
You just spilled some.
572
00:58:46,751 --> 00:58:51,209
My first draft is due
in early December.
573
00:58:55,459 --> 00:58:57,168
Yeah.
574
00:58:58,751 --> 00:59:01,334
No, that didn't work out.
575
00:59:04,334 --> 00:59:07,543
She ended up in bed with Karl.
576
00:59:08,959 --> 00:59:14,668
No, it wasn't like that. They didn't
even know who the other one was.
577
00:59:14,668 --> 00:59:17,168
No, mom.
It isn't...
578
00:59:17,168 --> 00:59:20,543
He doesn't even know her name.
579
00:59:20,543 --> 00:59:23,334
Stop.
It's no big deal.
580
00:59:23,751 --> 00:59:27,126
Anyway, I have met someone else.
581
00:59:28,168 --> 00:59:31,001
Yeah.
Her name is Elisa.
582
00:59:31,501 --> 00:59:33,418
So that's...
583
00:59:33,418 --> 00:59:36,668
Yes, she's very cool.
A very cool girl.
584
00:59:42,751 --> 00:59:45,043
Hey, Karl, come here.
585
00:59:48,501 --> 00:59:50,834
- That looks great.
- What?
586
00:59:50,834 --> 00:59:54,168
You coming out with us tonight?
587
00:59:54,168 --> 00:59:56,751
Elisa and I are meeting Maja.
588
00:59:56,751 --> 01:00:01,084
You've been hanging out for weeks.
Are you an item?
589
01:00:01,501 --> 01:00:03,626
- I don't know.
- What's that mean?
590
01:00:03,626 --> 01:00:07,626
It means we enjoy
each other's company.
591
01:00:07,626 --> 01:00:10,709
Does it have to be more complicated?
592
01:00:11,168 --> 01:00:14,126
- Are you her boyfriend now?
- No.
593
01:00:14,126 --> 01:00:19,626
- You're just getting the hang of this.
- You need at least one more.
594
01:00:20,293 --> 01:00:25,376
Why get continually rejected,
when I can have fun with Elisa?
595
01:00:25,376 --> 01:00:28,751
OK, I have a plan.
Bring Elisa, -
596
01:00:28,751 --> 01:00:32,126
- and score a threesome.
She'll be game.
597
01:00:33,209 --> 01:00:38,584
I don't think she's into that.
And she has her kid this weekend.
598
01:00:39,001 --> 01:00:41,959
- Elisa has a kid?
- How old?
599
01:00:41,959 --> 01:00:43,834
Two, maybe?
600
01:00:44,418 --> 01:00:46,251
Whew!
601
01:00:48,709 --> 01:00:50,418
What?
602
01:00:50,876 --> 01:00:52,334
Hm?
603
01:00:54,376 --> 01:00:56,043
Have you...
604
01:00:57,126 --> 01:00:58,418
When?
605
01:00:58,418 --> 01:01:01,876
Christ, it was like four years ago.
606
01:01:01,876 --> 01:01:06,334
- It was at this crazy after-party.
- You too?
607
01:01:06,334 --> 01:01:09,334
We were wasted, or stoned.
608
01:01:09,334 --> 01:01:12,459
It was no big deal.
It was just for kicks.
609
01:01:12,459 --> 01:01:17,626
So you and Leo fucked Elisa
at the same time?
610
01:01:17,626 --> 01:01:21,584
- Was anyone else involved?
- No, just us.
611
01:01:21,584 --> 01:01:27,418
- But, shit, she's smoking hot!
- It was just some drunken fun.
612
01:01:38,834 --> 01:01:43,793
She would probably have told you
if she wanted you to know.
613
01:01:43,793 --> 01:01:48,751
"By the way, your buddies
double-penetrated my ass."
614
01:01:48,751 --> 01:01:54,626
"But I'm done with that now.
Let's do it the normal way."
615
01:01:54,626 --> 01:01:56,376
Come on, Christian!
616
01:01:56,376 --> 01:02:01,959
Let's go find the lesbian national
yoga team and have an eightsome.
617
01:02:29,834 --> 01:02:32,918
How many have you had sex with?
618
01:02:34,418 --> 01:02:37,918
What kind of a question is that?
619
01:02:37,918 --> 01:02:40,376
I'm just curious.
620
01:02:40,376 --> 01:02:42,001
OK.
621
01:02:43,584 --> 01:02:45,459
34, I think.
622
01:02:46,168 --> 01:02:49,168
Or 33.
Something like that.
623
01:02:52,543 --> 01:02:55,876
Have you ever been in a threesome?
624
01:02:55,876 --> 01:02:59,043
Why are you asking me that?
625
01:03:03,251 --> 01:03:07,876
Over there, isn't that
that girl you made out with?
626
01:03:09,168 --> 01:03:11,418
Maybe she could join us?
627
01:03:15,501 --> 01:03:19,834
Christ! I thought you were serious
for a second.
628
01:03:19,834 --> 01:03:21,793
What do you mean?
629
01:03:22,918 --> 01:03:25,459
What, are you serious?
630
01:03:29,293 --> 01:03:31,543
- OK.
- OK?
631
01:03:31,543 --> 01:03:35,251
- So you're up for it?
- Yeah, sure.
632
01:03:35,251 --> 01:03:37,001
I don't know.
633
01:03:37,793 --> 01:03:39,543
Or...
634
01:03:39,959 --> 01:03:41,709
No.
635
01:03:42,793 --> 01:03:44,793
Why not?
636
01:03:44,793 --> 01:03:46,418
Because...
637
01:03:46,418 --> 01:03:49,251
Because I don't want to.
638
01:03:53,709 --> 01:03:56,126
How about a foursome?
639
01:03:57,709 --> 01:04:02,668
We can bring in Karl and Leo
and all fuck together.
640
01:04:08,168 --> 01:04:09,709
Listen...
641
01:04:09,709 --> 01:04:13,334
That happened ages ago, Christian.
642
01:04:14,334 --> 01:04:19,084
- Why are you being like this?
- Like what?
643
01:04:19,084 --> 01:04:23,293
- Like a guy who's into threesomes?
- I don't want to.
644
01:04:23,293 --> 01:04:26,709
Why don't you ask
how many I have slept with?
645
01:04:27,209 --> 01:04:30,751
- You know there aren't many.
- I don't care!
646
01:04:30,751 --> 01:04:35,709
- Why didn't you say something?
- I didn't see it as a problem.
647
01:04:35,709 --> 01:04:37,876
This is so typical!
648
01:04:37,876 --> 01:04:42,126
Karl and Leo can fuck around because
they're men, but I'm a woman...
649
01:04:42,126 --> 01:04:47,959
I'm not talking about what you
have done. I'm talking about us.
650
01:04:48,459 --> 01:04:51,626
You're trying to force me
into a fuck orgy!
651
01:04:51,626 --> 01:04:57,293
Fine, since you're beyond all that,
let's move in together.
652
01:04:57,293 --> 01:05:02,918
And I can be Mads' substitute dad,
since he's so crazy about me!
653
01:05:09,168 --> 01:05:11,168
Don't call me.
654
01:09:58,959 --> 01:10:00,459
Out you go.
655
01:10:04,709 --> 01:10:08,209
You and Kevin Danielsen were arrested.
656
01:10:09,418 --> 01:10:13,584
Kevin who?
I don't know a Kevin Danielsen.
657
01:10:13,584 --> 01:10:15,959
You called him -
658
01:10:15,959 --> 01:10:20,209
- The Punisher last night.
Do you know him, or not?
659
01:10:20,209 --> 01:10:21,876
I do.
660
01:10:21,876 --> 01:10:28,876
You have been charged with violating
Penal Code section 192-A:
661
01:10:28,876 --> 01:10:33,126
"Sexual intercourse accomplished
by violence or menace."
662
01:10:33,126 --> 01:10:36,501
"Punishable by
up to 10 years in prison."
663
01:10:36,501 --> 01:10:41,751
I suggest you get yourself a lawyer.
You will be released...
664
01:11:34,876 --> 01:11:37,334
- Karl!
- I told you so!
665
01:11:38,251 --> 01:11:39,959
Up you go!
666
01:11:39,959 --> 01:11:42,793
You doubted your cock.
667
01:11:42,793 --> 01:11:46,959
But you've just fucked with that cock,
haven't you?
668
01:11:49,126 --> 01:11:53,584
Five chicks, and it isn't even
Christmas yet. Damn I'm good!
669
01:11:53,584 --> 01:11:57,793
You've become
a goddam fucking machine!
670
01:11:57,793 --> 01:12:00,376
I have to go get laid.
671
01:12:19,001 --> 01:12:20,834
Christian?
672
01:12:23,084 --> 01:12:25,543
Yes.
673
01:12:25,543 --> 01:12:28,043
- Sandwich?
- Excuse me?
674
01:12:28,043 --> 01:12:32,084
- Would you like a sandwich?
- No, thanks.
675
01:12:33,418 --> 01:12:36,418
I've looked at what you gave me.
676
01:12:37,001 --> 01:12:42,376
- This shouldn't be a problem.
- OK. What does that mean?
677
01:12:42,376 --> 01:12:46,793
That means
they don't have enough evidence.
678
01:12:46,793 --> 01:12:50,834
So you'll probably get off scot-free.
679
01:12:52,751 --> 01:12:55,709
What if they do have enough evidence?
680
01:12:55,709 --> 01:12:58,709
Then you risk some years
in the slammer.
681
01:12:59,293 --> 01:13:03,168
Or a fine.
Depending on what they find.
682
01:13:03,709 --> 01:13:06,043
Sure you don't want a sandwich?
683
01:13:35,168 --> 01:13:38,293
Aren't you going to eat?
684
01:13:38,293 --> 01:13:41,001
No, I'm not that hungry.
685
01:13:41,001 --> 01:13:44,459
- Are you sick?
- No, I'm not sick.
686
01:13:46,501 --> 01:13:48,501
You look sick.
687
01:13:48,501 --> 01:13:53,751
It's called a hangover.
That's a grown-up sickness.
688
01:13:55,501 --> 01:13:58,709
How's it going with the ladies?
689
01:14:00,293 --> 01:14:02,334
Fine, I guess.
690
01:14:02,334 --> 01:14:04,751
Do you have a girlfriend?
691
01:14:04,751 --> 01:14:06,543
- No.
- Why not?
692
01:14:08,459 --> 01:14:11,293
Leave Christian alone now.
693
01:14:18,584 --> 01:14:21,501
Hey, how are you really doing?
694
01:14:22,959 --> 01:14:26,084
I'm fine.
Just have a lot on my mind.
695
01:14:26,793 --> 01:14:29,751
- I'm very proud of you.
- Stop it.
696
01:14:29,751 --> 01:14:34,084
I mean it.
You've always been such a sweet boy.
697
01:14:34,084 --> 01:14:39,501
No matter what you do,
I will always be proud of you.
698
01:14:42,834 --> 01:14:48,501
But listen, if something has happened,
you have to be honest.
699
01:14:48,501 --> 01:14:51,668
Then everything will work out.
700
01:14:51,668 --> 01:14:53,918
- Duly noted.
- OK?
701
01:14:57,834 --> 01:15:00,959
Good night.
Sleep tight.
702
01:15:20,543 --> 01:15:22,251
Hey!
703
01:15:22,876 --> 01:15:26,043
Hi, it's you.
I thought...
704
01:15:26,043 --> 01:15:29,251
Never mind.
I've been thinking.
705
01:15:29,251 --> 01:15:31,584
- About what?
- My case.
706
01:15:31,584 --> 01:15:34,418
Shit, I forgot to tell you!
707
01:15:34,418 --> 01:15:37,084
I got a call a few days ago.
708
01:15:37,084 --> 01:15:40,043
All the charges have been dropped.
709
01:15:40,043 --> 01:15:44,376
She wasn't up for a full trial.
I told you so.
710
01:15:44,376 --> 01:15:48,043
- But I want...
- It's very common.
711
01:15:54,959 --> 01:15:57,459
I want to confess.
712
01:15:57,459 --> 01:16:01,418
- Why?
- Because I can't live with this.
713
01:16:06,834 --> 01:16:11,334
Listen, she said she doesn't want
any more attention.
714
01:16:11,334 --> 01:16:17,543
The police have to drop a rape case
if there's no victim. Case closed.
715
01:16:17,543 --> 01:16:23,418
Don't force her to do something
she doesn't want to do. Again.
716
01:16:24,334 --> 01:16:25,626
OK?
717
01:16:26,334 --> 01:16:29,459
Put it behind you, Christian.
718
01:16:29,459 --> 01:16:31,543
Happy New Year.
719
01:16:54,251 --> 01:16:56,043
Christian?
720
01:16:56,043 --> 01:16:59,251
Can't you come out?
We miss you.
721
01:17:23,126 --> 01:17:25,084
Hi!
722
01:17:25,084 --> 01:17:26,543
What's this?
723
01:17:28,418 --> 01:17:34,751
This is...a prioritized list of girls'
names in case I get a daughter.
724
01:17:34,751 --> 01:17:39,626
- Are you going to be a dad?
- I don't know. Maybe.
725
01:17:39,626 --> 01:17:43,501
You don't have Tone there.
Mind if I add my name?
726
01:18:00,751 --> 01:18:02,084
Hi.
727
01:18:04,126 --> 01:18:05,709
Hi.
728
01:18:07,293 --> 01:18:09,251
How are you doing?
729
01:18:12,376 --> 01:18:13,668
I...
730
01:18:13,668 --> 01:18:15,543
Super.
731
01:18:24,709 --> 01:18:28,876
Has Karl told you
how he lost his virginity?
732
01:18:30,334 --> 01:18:34,918
Up by Lake Sognsvann,
with a girlfriend of mine.
733
01:18:34,918 --> 01:18:36,876
Sounds amazing...
734
01:18:38,001 --> 01:18:42,334
He didn't notice
that his nose started bleeding.
735
01:18:42,334 --> 01:18:44,876
Her face ended up covered in blood.
736
01:18:45,251 --> 01:18:48,626
Number one: Nosebleed Ellen.
737
01:18:51,251 --> 01:18:53,209
Yeah.
738
01:18:53,376 --> 01:18:57,751
- It isn't easy.
- You don't know the half of it.
739
01:19:00,709 --> 01:19:02,834
Here.
740
01:19:13,168 --> 01:19:15,209
- Is this Karl?
- Yes.
741
01:19:15,918 --> 01:19:20,834
So he clearly knows
what it feels like to be rejected.
742
01:19:26,126 --> 01:19:30,084
Listen,
I know Karl can be a total pain.
743
01:19:31,043 --> 01:19:36,251
Personally, I've never been a fan
of his womanizing.
744
01:19:37,793 --> 01:19:39,793
All those girls.
745
01:19:41,168 --> 01:19:46,001
But I let it slide because
it has had a positive effect on him.
746
01:19:46,001 --> 01:19:50,626
That's because
you're in love with him, Maja.
747
01:20:00,084 --> 01:20:01,918
Anyway...
748
01:20:04,168 --> 01:20:08,084
I know those guys can be
intense and irritating.
749
01:20:08,084 --> 01:20:14,626
But staring at the ceiling and
not talking to anyone, is also bad.
750
01:20:15,334 --> 01:20:18,209
If not for them, do it for me.
751
01:20:19,168 --> 01:20:23,709
I need someone to talk to out there
with an IQ over 70.
752
01:20:27,459 --> 01:20:29,501
- Maja?
- Hm?
753
01:20:37,376 --> 01:20:39,209
I have...
754
01:20:43,501 --> 01:20:46,668
Don't worry about it, Christian.
755
01:20:50,918 --> 01:20:54,918
Ladies and gentlemen, friends,
and you there...
756
01:20:54,918 --> 01:20:57,751
I don't know you, but I like you.
757
01:20:57,751 --> 01:21:04,959
It's awesome that so many of you are
still around after all our fuck-ups.
758
01:21:08,334 --> 01:21:15,084
But there is one person who has
made this a fantastic year for me.
759
01:21:15,084 --> 01:21:20,209
One of my favorite people
in the whole fucking world:
760
01:21:20,209 --> 01:21:22,043
Christian!
761
01:21:23,084 --> 01:21:26,918
He has changed my worldview -
762
01:21:26,918 --> 01:21:29,543
- with his naive kindness.
763
01:21:30,293 --> 01:21:35,084
And unbeknownst to him, he has helped
me and Leo write a book -
764
01:21:35,084 --> 01:21:39,876
- that will hopefully help
many desperate jerk-offs.
765
01:21:39,876 --> 01:21:43,376
He has been through
a boot camp from hell -
766
01:21:43,376 --> 01:21:47,501
- that makes the special forces
look like bitches.
767
01:21:47,501 --> 01:21:50,834
It's been hard, dark and miserable, -
768
01:21:50,834 --> 01:21:53,418
- but he rose to the occasion.
769
01:21:53,418 --> 01:21:57,209
Like a fucking phoenix from the ashes!
770
01:21:58,626 --> 01:22:01,918
It is a pick-up guide for men.
771
01:22:01,918 --> 01:22:07,168
How to go from man on the street
to fucking machine.
772
01:22:07,168 --> 01:22:13,459
123 tips, illustrated throughout with
pictures I have drawn of Christian.
773
01:22:14,418 --> 01:22:19,126
I would like to dedicate
the last toast of the year -
774
01:22:19,126 --> 01:22:22,043
- to Christian.
Cheers!
775
01:22:30,834 --> 01:22:34,501
Christian,
don't be such a party pooper.
776
01:22:37,543 --> 01:22:39,793
- Hey!
- What the hell?
777
01:22:43,126 --> 01:22:45,126
Take it easy!
778
01:22:51,834 --> 01:22:53,709
Christian!
779
01:24:31,001 --> 01:24:32,376
Christian!
780
01:25:15,876 --> 01:25:17,626
Hey, boss.
781
01:25:20,793 --> 01:25:22,876
Get lost.
Go away.
782
01:25:23,959 --> 01:25:27,334
I thought I'd try to talk you down.
783
01:25:27,334 --> 01:25:30,376
Just leave me alone.
For once.
784
01:25:31,251 --> 01:25:34,793
I'm not leaving here without you.
785
01:25:37,709 --> 01:25:40,084
OK.
So what is this?
786
01:25:40,834 --> 01:25:44,251
- The final chapter? You save me?
- Please...
787
01:25:44,251 --> 01:25:46,168
Chapter 123:
788
01:25:46,168 --> 01:25:50,043
Karl the Savior
rescues Christian the Pathetic.
789
01:25:50,043 --> 01:25:53,251
What do you think I am?
790
01:25:53,251 --> 01:25:57,501
I think you went behind my back
and wrote a book.
791
01:25:57,501 --> 01:26:02,918
You fucked someone you knew I liked.
You forced me...
792
01:26:02,918 --> 01:26:06,959
Leo and I didn't force you
to do anything.
793
01:26:07,751 --> 01:26:11,001
OK?
You went along voluntarily.
794
01:26:11,001 --> 01:26:16,209
- After you fucked Mylian.
- Yes, I fucked Mylian.
795
01:26:16,209 --> 01:26:21,793
I realized you liked her,
so I fucked her. And it helped.
796
01:26:21,793 --> 01:26:25,334
- It helped?
- Yes. Say what you want.
797
01:26:25,334 --> 01:26:30,418
You are a much better man
than that wimp I met six months ago.
798
01:26:30,418 --> 01:26:36,918
If you keep listening to me, I can
guarantee you an awesome life.
799
01:26:36,918 --> 01:26:41,084
And you know it.
I did all that to open your eyes.
800
01:26:41,084 --> 01:26:46,043
To give you a chance
to avoid being constantly rejected.
801
01:26:46,043 --> 01:26:47,834
Open my eyes?
802
01:26:49,584 --> 01:26:52,834
You are so fucking stupid.
803
01:26:52,834 --> 01:26:57,251
Just tell me what's wrong,
and I'll help you.
804
01:26:58,043 --> 01:27:01,209
We raped a girl, Karl.
805
01:27:01,209 --> 01:27:03,334
Me and The Punisher.
806
01:27:04,709 --> 01:27:07,668
So fuck "being rejected."
807
01:27:09,876 --> 01:27:14,376
- Shit, I...
- You didn't think that would happen?
808
01:27:14,376 --> 01:27:17,126
Of course not.
You're an idiot.
809
01:27:17,126 --> 01:27:19,918
You have wasted half your life.
810
01:27:19,918 --> 01:27:22,126
Pissed it away.
811
01:27:23,251 --> 01:27:27,459
You claim I don't know
how the world works.
812
01:27:27,459 --> 01:27:32,334
You're the one who's forgotten
how the world works.
813
01:27:48,293 --> 01:27:50,334
Don't touch me!
814
01:28:38,168 --> 01:28:43,043
Hi. We have an appointment
with Christian Lunde.
815
01:29:03,168 --> 01:29:06,293
- Hey, Chris.
- Hi, boss.
816
01:29:12,293 --> 01:29:14,251
How's it going?
817
01:29:15,376 --> 01:29:17,209
Fine.
818
01:29:19,751 --> 01:29:21,293
And with you?
819
01:29:29,876 --> 01:29:32,459
Let's go find the bathroom.
820
01:29:39,834 --> 01:29:42,668
Seriously?
You and Maja?
821
01:29:43,751 --> 01:29:45,918
Pretty sick, huh?
822
01:29:47,543 --> 01:29:49,793
How did that happen?
823
01:29:49,793 --> 01:29:54,834
We argued for, like, three days.
She didn't believe me, so...
824
01:29:54,834 --> 01:29:56,626
I proposed.
825
01:30:15,584 --> 01:30:18,418
So how are you really doing?
826
01:30:20,084 --> 01:30:22,251
The doctor thinks -
827
01:30:23,168 --> 01:30:26,543
- I should stay a couple more weeks.
828
01:30:26,543 --> 01:30:29,209
But...I am doing fine.
829
01:30:31,918 --> 01:30:34,793
Have you gotten some diagnosis?
830
01:30:34,793 --> 01:30:38,001
Just your average depression.
831
01:30:39,918 --> 01:30:42,751
24 out of 30 on the scale.
832
01:30:52,543 --> 01:30:55,168
Listen, I would never...
833
01:30:56,126 --> 01:31:00,084
I would never have pushed you
if I had known...
834
01:31:01,834 --> 01:31:03,626
It's OK.
835
01:31:08,043 --> 01:31:10,834
You said lots of things that...
836
01:31:17,751 --> 01:31:19,876
I just wanted to...
837
01:31:21,418 --> 01:31:23,251
I don't know.
838
01:31:26,959 --> 01:31:29,959
I just want to apologize.
839
01:31:32,751 --> 01:31:34,501
Thank you.
840
01:31:37,334 --> 01:31:41,459
Anyway, I talked to our publisher.
841
01:31:41,459 --> 01:31:45,084
We decided to can the entire book.
842
01:31:45,084 --> 01:31:47,501
This is the last copy.
843
01:31:48,376 --> 01:31:51,459
Let me know, and I'll delete it.
844
01:31:51,459 --> 01:31:53,459
Could I have it?
845
01:31:56,793 --> 01:31:58,751
Are you sure?
846
01:31:58,751 --> 01:32:02,168
I thought it might be interesting.
847
01:32:05,126 --> 01:32:08,793
To see things from your perspective.
848
01:32:08,793 --> 01:32:12,793
Fuck it. Take it.
Do with it as you please.
849
01:32:15,501 --> 01:32:16,876
Thanks.
850
01:32:16,876 --> 01:32:20,959
There's probably
a lot of porn on there.
851
01:32:20,959 --> 01:32:24,084
I mean, we're talking shitloads.
852
01:32:24,084 --> 01:32:30,209
If you find any shemale stuff,
that was downloaded ironically.
853
01:32:38,876 --> 01:32:43,376
Leo eventually found
the woman of his dreams...
854
01:32:43,959 --> 01:32:47,626
A ten of spades
and billionaire heiress.
855
01:32:51,209 --> 01:32:53,668
Stop, you little shit!
856
01:32:56,126 --> 01:33:02,043
Unfortunately her mother
was also a solid nine of clubs.
857
01:33:07,626 --> 01:33:11,876
Leo insists he'll soon give up
the single lifestyle.
858
01:33:16,709 --> 01:33:22,418
Karl got into architecture school
and married Maja.
859
01:33:26,501 --> 01:33:32,834
Their love has blossomed
since she became number 123.
860
01:33:37,459 --> 01:33:41,626
They have two daughters.
861
01:33:43,418 --> 01:33:49,501
To Karl's great relief, he believes
he has spied lesbian tendencies.
862
01:33:58,626 --> 01:34:00,876
And Christian?
863
01:34:00,876 --> 01:34:02,959
Well...
864
01:34:05,918 --> 01:34:10,543
Our next guest wrote a book
about Oslo's pickup scene.
865
01:34:10,543 --> 01:34:13,876
It has already sold
over 100,000 copies.
866
01:34:13,876 --> 01:34:19,084
Please welcome social worker
and author Christian Lunde!
867
01:34:25,084 --> 01:34:27,501
Hi there!
868
01:34:27,501 --> 01:34:29,543
Hi, Christian.
Welcome!
869
01:34:33,334 --> 01:34:36,918
Hi.
It's great to have you here.
870
01:34:36,918 --> 01:34:39,168
- How are you?
- Great.
871
01:34:39,168 --> 01:34:43,168
You had some scores to settle
with yourself.
872
01:34:43,168 --> 01:34:47,668
I sure did.
It was the only right thing to do.
873
01:34:48,584 --> 01:34:52,334
I had scores to settle with myself.
874
01:34:52,334 --> 01:34:55,293
And with others
who had been affected.
875
01:34:55,751 --> 01:34:58,751
It has to do with attraction...
876
01:34:58,751 --> 01:35:00,334
Christian?
877
01:35:00,709 --> 01:35:02,376
Christian!
878
01:35:03,126 --> 01:35:05,376
I'll call you back.
879
01:35:05,376 --> 01:35:07,668
- Hi.
- Hi!
880
01:35:08,876 --> 01:35:11,709
- Long time, no see.
- Truly.
881
01:35:11,709 --> 01:35:14,751
- And now you're on TV.
- Yeah.
882
01:35:16,709 --> 01:35:19,168
- How are you?
- I'm great.
883
01:35:19,168 --> 01:35:23,418
Listen, I have an appointment.
It was great seeing you.
884
01:35:23,418 --> 01:35:26,793
Don't you have two minutes
to talk to me?
885
01:35:26,793 --> 01:35:30,084
Was there something in particular?
886
01:35:30,084 --> 01:35:32,084
Not really.
887
01:35:32,084 --> 01:35:34,918
That is, I just...
888
01:35:35,584 --> 01:35:39,501
I've been wondering
if you feel that I...
889
01:35:39,501 --> 01:35:44,043
Was I mean?
Did I take advantage of you somehow?
890
01:35:44,459 --> 01:35:46,501
Listen.
891
01:35:46,501 --> 01:35:50,376
You have nothing
to feel guilty about, OK?
892
01:35:50,376 --> 01:35:53,543
OK.
That was a huge relief.
893
01:35:53,543 --> 01:35:58,918
Except that you're the reason
I tried to commit suicide.
894
01:36:04,918 --> 01:36:09,501
You should have seen your face.
See you later!
895
01:36:11,751 --> 01:36:14,793
Hey, Christian.
Hang on!
896
01:36:16,126 --> 01:36:18,168
Where are you headed?
897
01:36:18,168 --> 01:36:22,126
Actually, what I'm doing
is going home -
898
01:36:22,126 --> 01:36:24,876
- for a nice, long wank.
898
01:36:25,305 --> 01:36:31,536
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from SubtitleDB.org
67170
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.