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- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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00:00:08,292 --> 00:00:10,329
Previously on No Activity...
3
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This thing with the tortoise.
4
00:00:11,860 --> 00:00:14,583
Was it a romantic situation?
5
00:00:14,584 --> 00:00:16,666
- Get out.
- That's a yes.
6
00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:17,749
That's a little cheese.
7
00:00:17,750 --> 00:00:18,999
For the little mouse.
8
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,582
- Mmm.
- I want to start by saying that, uh...
9
00:00:21,583 --> 00:00:23,199
These corruption stories are true.
10
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:24,791
REPORTER: The disgraced
agent was sentenced
11
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:26,708
- to six years in prison.
- BOTH: Ooh...
12
00:00:26,709 --> 00:00:29,124
Your witness' name
isn't Doris Silva, is it?
13
00:00:29,125 --> 00:00:30,582
Yeah. Actually, it is.
14
00:00:30,583 --> 00:00:32,666
This is awkward. She didn't make it.
15
00:00:32,667 --> 00:00:34,619
Goddamn it!
16
00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:37,619
If you are watching
this, I have flipped.
17
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:38,939
- Fuck.
- [GLASS BREAKING]
18
00:00:38,940 --> 00:00:41,150
- What was that?
- Nothing, Yaya.
19
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,730
[EXHALES]
20
00:00:47,150 --> 00:00:48,499
Okay, come on.
21
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:50,430
Gonna do this.
22
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:54,769
Evening.
23
00:00:54,770 --> 00:00:58,289
I, uh... I need to see the chief.
24
00:00:58,290 --> 00:01:02,239
I'm, uh, possessing some information
25
00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:06,679
that will bring down the
Las Hormigas Cartel.
26
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,599
Okay. Uh, super.
27
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:11,320
Uh, just-just have a seat there.
28
00:01:13,020 --> 00:01:15,579
No, no, no, uh, I don't
think you understand.
29
00:01:15,580 --> 00:01:17,439
This is a big deal.
30
00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:18,779
Mm-hmm. Absolutely.
31
00:01:18,780 --> 00:01:20,839
And we are excited to hear it.
32
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,289
Uh, please take a seat.
33
00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:24,919
We'll get to you as soon as we can.
34
00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:26,179
This is a flip.
35
00:01:26,180 --> 00:01:28,166
Okay.
36
00:01:28,167 --> 00:01:30,208
OFFICER TOBY: Very good, thank you.
37
00:01:30,209 --> 00:01:33,199
Absolutely, I'll send him back.
38
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:34,329
Okay.
39
00:01:34,330 --> 00:01:37,119
Michael, with the noise complaint?
40
00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,319
- You can head back.
- Thanks.
41
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:40,899
What?
42
00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,708
- He just arrived.
- Sir?
43
00:01:42,709 --> 00:01:44,999
He was here. He left and he came back.
44
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:48,042
Come on. Hey, Cop.
45
00:01:49,430 --> 00:01:50,999
Get me a coffee.
46
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,370
Please?
47
00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:58,219
Thank you.
48
00:01:58,220 --> 00:02:00,369
You're welcome.
49
00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:03,059
Oh, God, that smells like shit.
50
00:02:03,060 --> 00:02:04,959
Oh. No, not shit...
51
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:06,059
what, what am I thinking of?
52
00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:09,040
I'm trying to think
of the right analogy.
53
00:02:10,790 --> 00:02:12,479
Oh, great.
54
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,659
There's a hole in my cup...
55
00:02:14,660 --> 00:02:16,749
OFFICER Shots fired! Shots fired!
56
00:02:16,750 --> 00:02:18,875
- OFFICER 2: Take cover! We need medical...
- ♪ On the lone prairie... ♪
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00:02:18,876 --> 00:02:21,359
This is SDPD, North Central Division.
58
00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:23,419
We have an active shooter situation.
59
00:02:23,420 --> 00:02:24,874
[INDISTINCT RADIO TRANSMISSION]
60
00:02:24,875 --> 00:02:26,541
[LOCK BUZZING]
61
00:02:26,542 --> 00:02:27,708
[CELL DOOR OPENING]
62
00:02:27,709 --> 00:02:30,000
GUARD: All right. Let's go.
63
00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:46,839
I'm sorry for keeping you.
64
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:48,333
I was podcasting.
65
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,916
I'm Special Agent Dustin Kasprowicz.
66
00:02:50,917 --> 00:02:53,833
- I'm working on a case...
- Something smells like dogshit.
67
00:02:53,834 --> 00:02:55,916
I don't smell anything.
68
00:02:55,917 --> 00:02:57,869
Well, I do. I smell dogshit.
69
00:02:57,870 --> 00:03:01,417
- [SIGHS]
- Did you step in something?
70
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:05,159
[CLEARS THROAT]
71
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,899
Says a lot about your character
that you had to check.
72
00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:12,139
Well, I wanted to make sure
for your sake that I didn't,
73
00:03:12,140 --> 00:03:14,749
and I'm happy to report
there's nothing there.
74
00:03:14,750 --> 00:03:18,099
- Well, as a fellow big-nosed guy...
- Mm-hmm?
75
00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:20,940
... I could tell you
that you're fibbing.
76
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:23,119
Because I use this one to smell.
77
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,559
[LONG SNIFF]
78
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:28,499
And I smell animal shit.
79
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,958
[SNIFFS] I don't smell anything at all.
80
00:03:30,959 --> 00:03:33,666
- Smell deep. [LONG SNIFF]
- Now keep in mind,
81
00:03:33,667 --> 00:03:35,749
I just came in from outside.
82
00:03:35,750 --> 00:03:38,999
So I'm still smelling,
you know, freedom?
83
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,959
And maybe that's what's clogging it up.
84
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:42,699
Well, I'll tell you what's not inside,
85
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,940
is animals that shit on the floor.
86
00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:46,859
So maybe you stepped on something.
87
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:49,205
- I doubt it.
- So take your fuckin' shoes off
88
00:03:49,206 --> 00:03:50,819
- if you want to continue.
- Excuse me?
89
00:03:50,820 --> 00:03:52,208
Take my shoes off?
90
00:03:52,209 --> 00:03:53,769
I'll wait.
91
00:03:53,770 --> 00:03:55,769
You can hand them to Phil over here.
92
00:03:55,770 --> 00:03:57,980
Phil's my guy.
93
00:03:59,430 --> 00:04:00,829
[SIGHS]
94
00:04:00,830 --> 00:04:03,042
Thank you.
95
00:04:05,130 --> 00:04:06,859
There you go. So...
96
00:04:06,860 --> 00:04:10,167
- I'm working a case that is...
- [TSKING] Let's wait.
97
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,319
What were you gonna say?
98
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,299
Anyway, I'm working on a case
99
00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:17,620
- that I think...
- I... got to tell you
100
00:04:17,630 --> 00:04:18,791
the smell's still there.
101
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,292
I think it's in your socks.
102
00:04:20,293 --> 00:04:22,199
You know what?
103
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,949
Let's just... nip this right in the bud.
104
00:04:24,950 --> 00:04:27,279
Here you go, pal. Thanks.
105
00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:29,439
I think it's "nip this in the butt."
106
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,099
I don't think it is. I think you're...
107
00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:33,959
- that is, you've been misinformed.
- What's a bud?
108
00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:36,579
- A plant?
- Yeah.
109
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,369
You're gonna nip something in the plant?
110
00:04:38,370 --> 00:04:40,499
What, are you gonna nip it in
the butt? What does that mean?
111
00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:41,899
[SNAPS FINGERS]
112
00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:43,179
That's a nip?
113
00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:44,709
Like a kid who's getting out of control.
114
00:04:44,710 --> 00:04:46,159
"I told you again to stop.
115
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,259
Oh, you're gonna keep...
I told you... [SNAPS FINGERS]
116
00:04:48,260 --> 00:04:49,708
I'm gonna nip that in the butt."
117
00:04:49,709 --> 00:04:51,374
- We can agree to disagree.
- Yeah.
118
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:52,834
No doubt. You do look familiar.
119
00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:54,739
- Uh...
- Have we met?
120
00:04:54,740 --> 00:04:56,079
I don't think so.
121
00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:57,666
I mean, we were both in law enforcement,
122
00:04:57,667 --> 00:04:59,583
so, perhaps our paths crossed.
123
00:04:59,584 --> 00:05:00,833
I think I know what it is.
124
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:04,199
- Hmm.
- It was the FBI/DEA joint raid
125
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,959
at the, um, what the fuck was it?
126
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:07,699
Uh, the Pine... the, uh...
127
00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:09,582
- The, the mortuary.
- Resting Pines Mortuary.
128
00:05:09,583 --> 00:05:11,329
- I was at that.
- I was at that, too.
129
00:05:11,330 --> 00:05:12,819
With the little girl with
the, uh, with the, uh...
130
00:05:12,820 --> 00:05:14,208
- BOTH: Missile launcher!
- [CHUCKLING]: Yeah!
131
00:05:14,209 --> 00:05:16,739
I...
132
00:05:16,740 --> 00:05:17,979
I killed that girl's...
133
00:05:17,980 --> 00:05:19,623
I killed that little girl's
father. [CHUCKLES]
134
00:05:19,624 --> 00:05:20,899
- That was you?
- That was me, man.
135
00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:23,499
- Oh, dude. Well done.
- Thanks, man.
136
00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:24,999
You're looking at the guy
that killed her mother.
137
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,542
- Bullshit.
- Absolutely.
138
00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:28,789
Boom. Scoped her.
139
00:05:28,790 --> 00:05:29,809
- Buddy.
- That's cool, man.
140
00:05:29,810 --> 00:05:30,819
- That's really cool.
- Holy cow.
141
00:05:30,820 --> 00:05:32,332
- That's cool. Yeah.
- I am shocked we didn't meet.
142
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:33,819
Hey, I'm sorry I was
fucking with you earlier.
143
00:05:33,820 --> 00:05:35,207
- Hey, man.
- I shouldn't have. You're a cool guy.
144
00:05:35,208 --> 00:05:36,459
We should've figured that
out at the beginning.
145
00:05:36,460 --> 00:05:38,299
- Yeah. Water under the bridge.
- This would've gone a lot smoother.
146
00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:39,309
- Okay, so...
- What can I help you with?
147
00:05:39,310 --> 00:05:40,579
- ... here's what I'm here for.
- Talk to me.
148
00:05:40,580 --> 00:05:42,289
I'm chasing El Chappie
149
00:05:42,290 --> 00:05:43,939
and the Las Hormigas gang.
150
00:05:43,940 --> 00:05:45,873
We've got an in right
now with the Devils,
151
00:05:45,874 --> 00:05:48,279
which is a biker gang that does
a lot of their grunt work,
152
00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:51,159
where this guy comes into play.
153
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:52,820
Recognize him?
154
00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:55,659
Yeah, that's Chief.
155
00:05:55,660 --> 00:05:57,160
- Sweetheart. Good guy.
- Good.
156
00:05:57,170 --> 00:05:59,079
So. Here is a...
157
00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:00,979
- updated picture.
- Aw, ahh...
158
00:06:00,980 --> 00:06:03,399
This is the fifth guy we've
lost in the last year.
159
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:04,582
He was gonna flip.
160
00:06:04,583 --> 00:06:07,164
Now we're fucked. Their
shipment's about to come in,
161
00:06:07,165 --> 00:06:08,199
and once it they get it,
162
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:09,373
- boom, they're ghosts.
- All right, okay.
163
00:06:09,374 --> 00:06:10,659
Oh, well, what you need to do, then,
164
00:06:10,660 --> 00:06:11,949
you need to talk to his partner.
165
00:06:11,950 --> 00:06:13,699
[SCOFFS] I didn't even
know he had a partner.
166
00:06:13,700 --> 00:06:15,019
- That's great.
- Yeah.
167
00:06:15,020 --> 00:06:17,859
Uh, where would I find him,
168
00:06:17,860 --> 00:06:19,791
- and what is his name?
- His partner's name
169
00:06:19,792 --> 00:06:21,099
is, uh... Fuck. What the fuck?
170
00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:23,499
Uh, his partner's name is why
the fuck would I tell you?
171
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:26,179
You're nothing to me.
172
00:06:26,180 --> 00:06:27,879
Put your socks on.
173
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:29,399
And your shoes.
174
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,375
You're embarrassing yourself.
175
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:33,709
I'll wait.
176
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,350
[CLEARS THROAT]
177
00:06:43,420 --> 00:06:45,499
[SIGHS] Okay.
178
00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:48,291
Shoes on, so let's get...
179
00:06:48,292 --> 00:06:50,949
Perfect.
180
00:06:50,950 --> 00:06:54,860
♪
181
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:06,584
[SNORING]
182
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:10,909
DISPATCH: Car 34, please report.
183
00:07:10,910 --> 00:07:13,709
Car 34, no activity.
184
00:07:13,710 --> 00:07:15,539
Copy that.
185
00:07:15,540 --> 00:07:17,399
I think the rain has
scared the business away,
186
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:18,999
and the girls have called it a night.
187
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,719
Pretty boring.
188
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:22,839
Well, my grandpa always
said that the best way
189
00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:25,460
to get rid of boredom is
to split it with a friend.
190
00:07:25,470 --> 00:07:27,539
Yeah, that'd be great,
except my friend here
191
00:07:27,540 --> 00:07:29,539
is, uh, fast asleep.
192
00:07:29,540 --> 00:07:30,899
Moses is sleeping?
193
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:32,579
[LAUGHS] That guy's hilarious.
194
00:07:32,580 --> 00:07:34,079
Let me ask you, does he have his pillow?
195
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:36,059
Yeah. Yeah, he brought his own pillow.
196
00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:37,791
Who brings their own pillow to work?
197
00:07:37,792 --> 00:07:39,439
What kind of message does that send?
198
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,160
Hey, he's a character, that's for sure.
199
00:07:41,170 --> 00:07:44,119
All right, well, I'm always here
if you want to chew the fat.
200
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:45,739
Well, actually, uh,
while I got you there,
201
00:07:45,740 --> 00:07:46,939
do you have any information
202
00:07:46,940 --> 00:07:50,219
on the, uh, the Doris Silva case?
203
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,819
Doris Silva.
204
00:07:51,820 --> 00:07:55,123
Uh, extradited prisoner,
murdered earlier this month.
205
00:07:55,124 --> 00:07:56,879
Yeah. Is there any update on that?
206
00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:58,639
Anything you can tell me, like, uh,
207
00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:01,259
where the detectives are looking or... ?
208
00:08:01,260 --> 00:08:03,749
Sorry, friend. I can't share anything
209
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:05,679
on the, uh, Silva case. I'm sorry.
210
00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,499
- I know that's tough.
- Oh, man,
211
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:10,119
you have no idea.
I used to be a detective.
212
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,239
You know, I'm trying to climb
my way back up, so if you have
213
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:14,479
any kind of information,
it could really help me.
214
00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:15,839
Please, man. Please.
215
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,309
If you could give me anything at all,
216
00:08:17,310 --> 00:08:19,659
I would just owe you big-time.
217
00:08:19,660 --> 00:08:21,439
Oh, man, I... [SIGHS]
218
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:24,229
I know shouldn't, but... all right.
219
00:08:24,230 --> 00:08:25,239
All right. Let me see what I can do.
220
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:26,559
Thank you, man. Thank you so much.
221
00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:28,439
I would really appreciate that.
222
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:29,839
I really appreciate it. Thanks, man.
223
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:32,319
I'll talk to you soon. Thank you.
224
00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:35,439
- [SNORING]
- Sorry, man. Was I talking too loud?
225
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:38,929
Just let me know if I'm
interrupting your...
226
00:08:38,930 --> 00:08:40,709
Just doing some police work.
227
00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:48,119
[LOCK BUZZES]
228
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:51,259
You know, sometimes I think...
229
00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:53,079
maybe I wanted to get caught.
230
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,919
Then other times, I think...
231
00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:57,708
- no, I didn't.
- What is this?
232
00:08:57,709 --> 00:09:00,289
What transaction are we even doing here?
233
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:02,399
I need your help. Give me the name,
234
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,458
and you won't have to see me anymore.
235
00:09:04,459 --> 00:09:06,541
- What, are you begging?
- I'm not gonna beg.
236
00:09:06,542 --> 00:09:08,165
Okay? Are you gonna
give me the name or not?
237
00:09:08,166 --> 00:09:10,291
'Cause I don't like a beggar, and
if you beg, it's not gonna work.
238
00:09:10,292 --> 00:09:12,374
It's weakness.
239
00:09:12,375 --> 00:09:14,399
But if you were my friend, I don't know.
240
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:15,519
I do things for my friends.
241
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:17,208
I like friendship.
242
00:09:17,209 --> 00:09:18,529
So, if you were my
friend, maybe I'd help,
243
00:09:18,530 --> 00:09:19,579
but if you're not my
friend, I don't know,
244
00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:21,624
but I got to tell you, I'm a
pretty good friend to have.
245
00:09:21,625 --> 00:09:23,579
- Ain't that right, Phil?
- You're my best friend.
246
00:09:23,580 --> 00:09:24,709
Not best friends.
247
00:09:24,710 --> 00:09:26,416
He said you were his best friend.
248
00:09:26,417 --> 00:09:27,709
He's not my best friend. Phil?
249
00:09:27,710 --> 00:09:29,791
- To me, you are.
- To me, you're not, though.
250
00:09:29,792 --> 00:09:31,919
I've told you that. And
stop saying that, man.
251
00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,589
You make me look like a fucking weirdo.
252
00:09:33,590 --> 00:09:35,084
Understood.
253
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,579
He's definitely not my best friend.
254
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:42,333
Hey, sounds like you guys
need to work this out.
255
00:09:42,334 --> 00:09:44,469
He hangs near my cell a
lot, but I can't leave.
256
00:09:44,470 --> 00:09:46,119
- Uh-huh.
- So I hear a lot of his stuff,
257
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,299
but I don't give him my stuff.
258
00:09:47,300 --> 00:09:48,499
- All right.
- So it's a one-sided friendship.
259
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:50,249
- Ah.
- If I was on the outside...
260
00:09:50,250 --> 00:09:51,989
and I'm not afraid to say this to him,
261
00:09:51,990 --> 00:09:54,208
'cause I have said it to him...
he wouldn't be my friend.
262
00:09:54,209 --> 00:09:57,249
But, Phil, would he still
be your best friend?
263
00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:58,749
Inside or out, you're my best friend.
264
00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:01,449
So, inside, he's in my group of friends.
265
00:10:01,450 --> 00:10:02,699
- Mm-hmm.
- Outside...
266
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:03,789
A real zero.
267
00:10:03,790 --> 00:10:05,039
I wouldn't want anything to do with him.
268
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:06,709
- Yeah. Got it.
- He's not my kind of guy.
269
00:10:06,710 --> 00:10:07,834
Gotcha.
270
00:10:08,620 --> 00:10:10,499
But friendship's an important thing.
271
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:11,999
'Cause you can give
friendship to somebody,
272
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,059
and they can do whatever
they want with it.
273
00:10:13,060 --> 00:10:14,958
And that's what this is about...
it's about friendship to me.
274
00:10:14,959 --> 00:10:16,249
Do you mind turning around?
275
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:18,289
Copy.
276
00:10:18,290 --> 00:10:19,599
I don't want to be friends with him,
277
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:21,416
- but I want to be friends with you.
- Here's the thing.
278
00:10:21,417 --> 00:10:23,791
You're my kind of cop.
You got shit done.
279
00:10:23,792 --> 00:10:26,041
- Yeah.
- You're the kind of cop that I want
280
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,479
having my back out there.
281
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:28,699
And right now,
282
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:30,299
you have an opportunity
283
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:33,039
- to have my back, okay?
- Go ahead.
284
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,539
You give me this name,
your life gets better,
285
00:10:35,540 --> 00:10:38,499
my life gets better, our
friendship gets stronger.
286
00:10:38,500 --> 00:10:41,041
The kind of friendship we
would... become pen pals?
287
00:10:41,042 --> 00:10:42,629
I would love nothing more
288
00:10:42,630 --> 00:10:44,399
than to drop you a note
every once in a while.
289
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:45,840
Hell, I'll keep you updated
290
00:10:45,850 --> 00:10:47,999
on how the case is going.
Just so you feel
291
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,009
- a little bit of that juice.
- Fuck the case.
292
00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:50,759
- I don't want the case.
- Fuck the case, then.
293
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:52,239
I'll tell you about stuff I'm up to.
294
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:54,291
- Dates and stuff?
- Yeah, sure.
295
00:10:54,292 --> 00:10:56,449
I mean, I'm just getting
over a thing right now,
296
00:10:56,450 --> 00:10:58,579
so I'm kind of hibernating.
297
00:10:58,580 --> 00:11:01,379
Tell me the story, but would
you mind it in letter form?
298
00:11:01,380 --> 00:11:04,250
- Oh, I'll write it to you.
- Like, "Dear... " No, like, do... Yeah.
299
00:11:05,460 --> 00:11:07,160
[SIGHS]
300
00:11:07,170 --> 00:11:08,639
Dear Josh:
301
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:10,539
Hey, it's me, Dustin.
302
00:11:10,540 --> 00:11:11,666
That's one of my best friends.
303
00:11:11,667 --> 00:11:13,123
I want to just tell you
304
00:11:13,124 --> 00:11:15,979
a quick story, like I mentioned
when I saw you in prison,
305
00:11:15,980 --> 00:11:19,329
about the... love that I just lost.
306
00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:21,319
Ah, shit, I've been waiting
to hear about this.
307
00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:22,869
I met her on a case,
308
00:11:22,870 --> 00:11:24,139
chasing El Chappie.
309
00:11:24,140 --> 00:11:26,999
I ended up having to infiltrate a...
310
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,920
I'm not gonna lie... the
letter's getting boring.
311
00:11:30,870 --> 00:11:33,039
Well, anyhow, man...
312
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,039
- I'm into this, okay?
- Great.
313
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:37,279
And I'm getting close to
wanting to help you out,
314
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,292
but here's what I'm afraid of.
315
00:11:38,293 --> 00:11:40,239
- Yeah.
- I'm afraid you're telling me
316
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,579
what I want to hear,
but you don't mean it.
317
00:11:42,580 --> 00:11:44,629
Doesn't it seem like that?
You can turn around, man.
318
00:11:44,630 --> 00:11:46,124
I didn't realize you were
still facing the corner.
319
00:11:46,125 --> 00:11:47,166
Thank you, sir.
320
00:11:47,167 --> 00:11:48,666
Doesn't it kind of feel that way, Phil?
321
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:49,791
It does feel like that.
322
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,509
- Shut the fuck up, Phil.
- Here's what I feel like.
323
00:11:51,510 --> 00:11:54,083
Feels like it's prom night
and you're my date.
324
00:11:54,084 --> 00:11:55,639
And I'm excited about the date,
325
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,664
and you've given me a lot of promises.
326
00:11:57,665 --> 00:12:00,079
So I got myself ready.
I got my nails did.
327
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,399
I got my hair perfect. I got a dress.
328
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:04,291
I spent money, son.
329
00:12:04,292 --> 00:12:06,416
And, finally, for the first time,
330
00:12:06,417 --> 00:12:08,541
I'm comfortable showing my body.
331
00:12:08,542 --> 00:12:09,919
- [CHUCKLES]
- But I'm afraid
332
00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:11,749
you're gonna stand me up.
Is that what's gonna happen?
333
00:12:11,750 --> 00:12:13,499
Are you gonna stand me up on prom night?
334
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,119
Let's cut the shit.
335
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,399
We both know, if you help me,
336
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,333
I can snap my fingers, get
you transferred out of here
337
00:12:20,334 --> 00:12:23,083
into a nice minimum-security prison.
338
00:12:23,084 --> 00:12:24,644
There's one that has a badminton court.
339
00:12:25,850 --> 00:12:27,739
Hmm... [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
340
00:12:27,740 --> 00:12:28,791
My answer is no.
341
00:12:28,792 --> 00:12:30,708
[SIGHS]
342
00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:33,292
♪
343
00:12:38,667 --> 00:12:42,041
CLINT: Please, please,
that's so not necessary.
344
00:12:42,042 --> 00:12:44,909
We have great news, babies.
345
00:12:44,910 --> 00:12:46,919
The data has come back to us
346
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,869
on the first rollout of the BopBots,
347
00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:53,019
and we are very, very encouraged.
348
00:12:53,020 --> 00:12:55,833
Mission accomplished!
349
00:12:55,834 --> 00:12:58,179
Guys, come on. Come on, please.
350
00:12:58,180 --> 00:12:59,249
However...
351
00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:01,449
every up has a down.
352
00:13:01,450 --> 00:13:03,099
And that's just not me talking.
353
00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:04,679
That's Sir Isaac Newton,
354
00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:06,419
regarded by many as
the father of physics;
355
00:13:06,420 --> 00:13:10,333
a lifelong virgin and predictor
of the 2060 apocalypse.
356
00:13:10,334 --> 00:13:15,039
And yes, the hat was a tribute to him.
357
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,299
I-I wasn't gonna ask about the hat.
358
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:20,409
- You said there was a down?
- Yes, indeed.
359
00:13:20,410 --> 00:13:23,839
With the BopBots being such
an unmitigated success,
360
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:26,124
we will, unfortunately,
have to let a few of you go.
361
00:13:26,125 --> 00:13:28,041
- EMPLOYEES: What?
- Yeah, but don't worry.
362
00:13:28,042 --> 00:13:29,666
You'll be fairly compensated.
363
00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:30,829
How many is a few?
364
00:13:30,830 --> 00:13:31,919
- Exactly half.
- [EMPLOYEES MURMURING]
365
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,499
- Oh, my God!
- What did I tell you all?
366
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:36,079
They're replacing us.
367
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:40,359
This list has been
e-mailed to all of you.
368
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,659
If your name is not on the list,
369
00:13:43,660 --> 00:13:46,139
your contract here has expired.
370
00:13:46,140 --> 00:13:47,189
[EMPLOYEES GROANING]
371
00:13:47,190 --> 00:13:48,699
JANICE: Quick, Fats, am I on the list?
372
00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:50,539
- Am I on the list? Hurry up.
- Okay, wait, I'm looking. I'm looking.
373
00:13:50,540 --> 00:13:52,499
- I'm looking.
- Look faster.
374
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:53,999
Yeah, you're on there.
375
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,583
- You're safe.
- [SIGHS]
376
00:13:55,584 --> 00:13:57,708
- But I'm fired.
- Oh.
377
00:13:57,709 --> 00:13:59,999
- Them's the breaks, kiddo.
- I'm fired?
378
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,999
That doesn't make any sense.
379
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,959
I'm the one who welcomed BopBot.
380
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,560
I'm the one in favor of new technology.
381
00:14:06,570 --> 00:14:09,869
Yeah, well, like my mom always told me,
382
00:14:09,870 --> 00:14:11,279
if you're gonna fuck a snake,
383
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,719
don't cry when you get
bit on the mouse pouch.
384
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:14,749
You got bit.
385
00:14:14,750 --> 00:14:16,240
You got bit bad.
386
00:14:16,250 --> 00:14:19,339
CLINT: Apologies, everyone.
Reverse that.
387
00:14:19,340 --> 00:14:22,624
If your name is on the list,
388
00:14:22,625 --> 00:14:25,833
your employment here
is over. Sorry, guys.
389
00:14:25,834 --> 00:14:28,541
Human error... which is exactly
why we need the BopBots.
390
00:14:28,542 --> 00:14:30,369
Are you fucking kidding me?
391
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:34,479
Please contact your BopBot
for a reference, Janice.
392
00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:35,624
Adiós.
393
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:37,839
I don't know, Chief.
We're pretty outnumbered.
394
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:40,779
- Are you sure you want to go in?
- [POWER WINDOW WHIRRING]
395
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,880
Yes? You're saying yes?
396
00:14:44,140 --> 00:14:45,659
Are you sure? It's a suicide mission.
397
00:14:45,660 --> 00:14:48,860
Are you 100% positive?
398
00:14:48,870 --> 00:14:51,100
You're a crazy motherfucker, aren't you?
399
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,414
- Okay. Let's do it.
- [SNORING]
400
00:14:55,415 --> 00:14:57,720
Ready to go? On the count of three.
401
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,039
One...
402
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:03,334
You don't have to nod every
time I say something.
403
00:15:03,335 --> 00:15:06,667
Please stop nodding.
I'm trying to focus.
404
00:15:08,260 --> 00:15:09,859
[SIGHING]: Fuck me.
405
00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:11,999
What am I doing?
406
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,039
Then you get into the politics of:
407
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:17,791
what days which group
gets to run the TV.
408
00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:20,789
The inner politics...
beyond fascinating.
409
00:15:20,790 --> 00:15:22,099
Who decides on what?
410
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:23,359
Oh, I'm sorry. Are you bored?
411
00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,179
- [YAWNING] Yeah, no.
- Is this story boring to you?
412
00:15:25,180 --> 00:15:27,160
Then why don't you ask me what I want,
413
00:15:27,170 --> 00:15:28,399
so I can give it to you
414
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:29,939
so we can move on with our fucking day?
415
00:15:29,940 --> 00:15:31,879
'Cause I don't like this, and
you're not doing anything
416
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,119
for the conversation.
I got to tell all the stories.
417
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:35,199
Is there something you want?
418
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,439
Well, isn't that what this is about?
419
00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:37,499
Isn't that the game?
420
00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:38,779
I do this, you do that,
421
00:15:38,780 --> 00:15:40,789
then finally you say,
"What is it that you want?"
422
00:15:40,790 --> 00:15:42,919
And I tell you what I want,
and then you give it to me
423
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:44,958
and I give you the name?
'Cause there is something I want.
424
00:15:44,959 --> 00:15:46,499
Great. All right, see?
425
00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:47,739
Now we're talking.
426
00:15:47,740 --> 00:15:49,125
- Yeah.
- What do we got?
427
00:15:49,126 --> 00:15:52,079
I miss, uh, the feeling...
428
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,249
of, uh, pine needles under my feet.
429
00:15:54,250 --> 00:15:56,458
- [SIGHS]
- I miss the feeling
430
00:15:56,459 --> 00:16:00,699
of rubbing my face against a
newborn kitten's whiskers.
431
00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:02,375
Especially when they're just days old.
432
00:16:02,376 --> 00:16:06,059
You know, I also miss the
sounds of dogs barking.
433
00:16:06,060 --> 00:16:07,339
Phil, would you mind?
434
00:16:07,340 --> 00:16:09,239
[BARKING]
435
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:10,659
[CHUCKLES] Thanks.
436
00:16:10,660 --> 00:16:12,167
Now I don't miss that anymore.
437
00:16:12,170 --> 00:16:14,499
Okay. I've listened to you drone on.
438
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:15,705
Now you're gonna listen to me.
439
00:16:15,706 --> 00:16:17,339
You're up for parole in eight months.
440
00:16:17,340 --> 00:16:19,123
I'm either gonna go to that parole board
441
00:16:19,124 --> 00:16:21,169
and I'm gonna whisper
sweet nothings in their ear,
442
00:16:21,170 --> 00:16:24,879
or I'm gonna whisper sour,
toxic nothings in their ear,
443
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:28,084
and you're gonna stay here
a lot longer than you think.
444
00:16:28,085 --> 00:16:29,519
[MOCK WHIMPERING]
445
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,579
[LAUGHS]
446
00:16:32,580 --> 00:16:34,659
You trying to scare me
into telling you the name
447
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,039
so I can leave jail?
448
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:37,583
I'm just telling you what's up.
449
00:16:37,584 --> 00:16:39,541
Let me tell you what's
up... I fucking love jail.
450
00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:41,332
I could do 20 more years
standing on my head,
451
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:42,639
and not for the reasons you think.
452
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,419
Yes, I've made friends, and
yes, the food is pretty good,
453
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:46,439
but that's not the reason.
454
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,859
The reason is, is 'cause
I've learned skills in here.
455
00:16:48,860 --> 00:16:50,139
- Oh, really?
- Oh, really.
456
00:16:50,140 --> 00:16:52,079
- Like what?
- Like close-up magic.
457
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:54,549
- Oh, no.
- Oh, yeah.
458
00:16:54,550 --> 00:16:55,579
I know magic.
459
00:16:55,580 --> 00:16:58,125
[SIGHS] I don't have time
for this. I'll be hon...
460
00:16:58,126 --> 00:17:00,160
Oh. Wow.
461
00:17:00,167 --> 00:17:01,416
Hmm.
462
00:17:01,417 --> 00:17:03,999
- Whew.
- Do me a favor.
463
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,039
Pick a card.
464
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,084
Seven of diamonds.
465
00:17:10,050 --> 00:17:12,209
[CHUCKLES] Hey. That was it. Yeah.
466
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,159
But when you consider
467
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,819
how much time you have on your hands,
468
00:17:16,820 --> 00:17:19,167
it's actually not that impressive.
469
00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:20,759
- Pick another one.
- Listen to me.
470
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,999
I want that name, and I
want that name right now.
471
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,699
It's getting a little tense, isn't it?
472
00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:27,540
- Phil, how about a tune?
- [PHIL CLEARS THROAT]
473
00:17:28,540 --> 00:17:32,039
♪ Ave ♪
474
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:36,900
♪ Maria... ♪
475
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:41,579
DISPATCH: Car 34, come in.
476
00:17:41,580 --> 00:17:43,559
Car 34. No activity.
477
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:46,569
- Uh, any news?
- Uh, bad news, I'm afraid.
478
00:17:46,570 --> 00:17:48,999
I really wanted to help,
but the case is tied up
479
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,479
with the Las Hormigas
Cartel; it's all top secret.
480
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,779
The boss would kill me
if I shared any details.
481
00:17:53,780 --> 00:17:55,959
I'm sorry, Cullen.
I really wanted to help.
482
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,159
Yeah, copy that.
483
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,139
Anyway, I appreciate you
trying to help me out.
484
00:17:59,140 --> 00:18:01,489
Uh, I didn't catch
your name, by the way.
485
00:18:01,490 --> 00:18:03,460
You can call me Bob.
486
00:18:03,470 --> 00:18:06,374
Bob? You're not Reynolds's
little brother, are you?
487
00:18:06,375 --> 00:18:08,579
You can call me Bob.
488
00:18:08,580 --> 00:18:10,799
Yeah, what's your, what's
your last name, though?
489
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:12,000
You can call me Bob.
490
00:18:16,070 --> 00:18:18,739
Bob, you're not a robot are you?
491
00:18:18,740 --> 00:18:21,219
Ha, ha. That's crazy. I'm Bob.
492
00:18:21,220 --> 00:18:22,417
Can you hear me okay?
493
00:18:22,418 --> 00:18:26,579
Yeah, I can hear you. I'm
asking you: Are you a robot?
494
00:18:26,580 --> 00:18:29,541
Ha, ha. That's crazy. I'm Bob.
Can you hear me okay?
495
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:31,909
JANICE: Do you really
think these sentient tubes
496
00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:33,999
of bullshit are gonna improve anything?
497
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,124
They already have.
498
00:18:35,125 --> 00:18:36,541
The numbers don't lie.
499
00:18:36,542 --> 00:18:38,208
No, but jerk-offs like you do.
500
00:18:38,209 --> 00:18:41,499
Simon, grab me an extra
large vanilla ChapStick.
501
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:43,499
The more you control the BopBots,
502
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:46,699
the more programmed
it is to fuck us over.
503
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:47,749
You know what? I'll be pretty annoyed
504
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:49,559
if I've been talking
all night to a robot.
505
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,669
- Are you a robot?
- DISPATCH: No way.
506
00:18:51,670 --> 00:18:55,559
Okay, if you're not, just say
the words, "I am not a robot."
507
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:58,619
Ha, ha. That's crazy. I'm Bob.
Can you hear me okay?
508
00:18:58,620 --> 00:19:00,119
Yes, I can hear you perfectly.
509
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:03,019
Now just repeat after
me, "I am not a robot."
510
00:19:03,020 --> 00:19:05,029
You and I should get
food together sometime.
511
00:19:05,030 --> 00:19:06,549
Do you enjoy pizza?
512
00:19:06,550 --> 00:19:08,499
JANICE: You think you're
such a wizard man,
513
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:11,082
so smart putting all these
people out of work.
514
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:13,819
It's progress, Janice. We
got to keep moving forward.
515
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,624
But I know what the endgame is. Hmm?
516
00:19:15,625 --> 00:19:18,319
All it's about is a bunch
of guys sitting around
517
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:19,459
wanting to fuck robots.
518
00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:21,519
And the problem is?
519
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:23,259
Admit to me that you're a robot.
520
00:19:23,260 --> 00:19:24,699
DISPATCH: You are sounding upset.
521
00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:26,373
Is there anything I can do to help?
522
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:27,959
Janice, please leave. You're fired.
523
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,374
Let's get security up here.
524
00:19:29,375 --> 00:19:32,166
You can't fire me because I quit.
525
00:19:32,167 --> 00:19:35,249
But everybody just saw
you get fired, so nah.
526
00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:37,199
Oh, okay, I'm fired.
527
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,579
- I better take this with me.
- No.
528
00:19:38,580 --> 00:19:40,120
- Janice, please.
- It's gonna be my new keychain.
529
00:19:40,125 --> 00:19:42,589
- [GRUNTING]
- Janice. No, don't.
530
00:19:42,590 --> 00:19:44,629
JANICE: That's you at night.
531
00:19:44,630 --> 00:19:46,124
Please, I beg you.
532
00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:48,249
- Everybody watching?
- Janice, no. Don't you dare.
533
00:19:48,250 --> 00:19:49,319
Yeah, I'm fucking upset.
534
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:50,919
I've been talking to a
fucking robot all night.
535
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:51,999
You're worse than this fucking guy.
536
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,874
You're overreacting, Janice.
Just, like, chill out.
537
00:19:53,875 --> 00:19:55,819
CLINT: No, no, no, no, Janice, no! No!
538
00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:59,124
[FEEDBACK, STATIC]
539
00:19:59,125 --> 00:20:01,458
Good morning.
540
00:20:01,459 --> 00:20:03,119
[SIGHS]
541
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:09,459
[CLINT CRYING]
542
00:20:11,417 --> 00:20:14,124
Oh. I didn't realize I...
543
00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:16,458
Ken, grab me another one, would you?
544
00:20:16,459 --> 00:20:17,999
JANICE: Oh, you motherfucker.
545
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,749
Fuck all of you!
546
00:20:19,750 --> 00:20:21,291
I am out of here!
547
00:20:21,292 --> 00:20:22,369
And, hey,
548
00:20:22,370 --> 00:20:24,739
you all know he fucked
a tortoise, right?
549
00:20:24,740 --> 00:20:26,083
You fucked a tortoise.
550
00:20:26,084 --> 00:20:28,699
[LAUGHS] You fucked it.
551
00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:30,279
Wow, what time is it?
552
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:33,084
Uh, it's about 45 minutes
before the end of our shift.
553
00:20:33,085 --> 00:20:34,619
So congratulations,
554
00:20:34,620 --> 00:20:37,333
you've managed to
sleep the entire shift.
555
00:20:37,334 --> 00:20:40,300
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
556
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:42,249
How do you do it, man?
557
00:20:42,250 --> 00:20:44,209
- I bring a pillow.
- No, I mean,
558
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:46,099
how do you not care?
559
00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:48,439
I... And I don't mean that
as a judgement, I mean,
560
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,199
I want to know how do you do your job
561
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,166
and just not care so much?
562
00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:55,083
You just catch the fish you need.
563
00:20:55,084 --> 00:20:57,374
What is that supposed to mean?
564
00:20:57,375 --> 00:20:59,099
Well, you're asking me why I'm sleeping,
565
00:20:59,100 --> 00:21:02,329
why I'm not still out
there catching the fish.
566
00:21:02,330 --> 00:21:04,699
Oh, okay, is this a fable and
in the fable we're fishermen?
567
00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:06,916
It's a parable, and,
yeah, we're fishermen.
568
00:21:06,917 --> 00:21:09,279
- Uh-huh. That wasn't clear.
- What are the fish to you?
569
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:10,659
Is it success?
570
00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:12,219
Is it money?
571
00:21:12,220 --> 00:21:14,219
Yeah, I like those fish, sure.
572
00:21:14,220 --> 00:21:16,199
For me, it's just, right now,
573
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,084
- in my... in my brain, they're fish.
- Okay.
574
00:21:19,085 --> 00:21:21,259
- So?
- But what would I do
575
00:21:21,260 --> 00:21:22,559
with all those fish?
576
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:25,999
You say, I can sell the
fish and make some money
577
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,789
and buy a big boat, and then, you know,
578
00:21:28,790 --> 00:21:31,259
sail out to deeper
waters, colder waters,
579
00:21:31,260 --> 00:21:32,914
where, you know, it gets dangerous.
580
00:21:32,915 --> 00:21:34,519
- Mm.
- And with all those fish,
581
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:35,999
you could sell 'em
582
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,041
- for lots and lots of money.
- Right.
583
00:21:38,042 --> 00:21:41,999
And then hire a crew, just
do all the catching for you.
584
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,416
But then what am I gonna do?
585
00:21:44,417 --> 00:21:46,709
Well, I guess you're a
very successful fisherman,
586
00:21:46,710 --> 00:21:50,419
so you would, uh, sit back, relax,
587
00:21:50,420 --> 00:21:53,292
enjoy your... fishing success.
588
00:21:55,770 --> 00:21:57,790
Yeah.
589
00:21:57,810 --> 00:21:58,909
Yeah.
590
00:21:58,910 --> 00:22:00,559
- [SIGHS]
- I see.
591
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,949
That's... You're relaxing now.
592
00:22:02,950 --> 00:22:08,125
It's a very... circular... parable.
593
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,429
Come on, man.
594
00:22:12,430 --> 00:22:14,199
Just... try it out.
595
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:15,639
- Oh, no.
- It's the cool side.
596
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,958
- Yeah, that's...
- Just a few minutes.
597
00:22:17,959 --> 00:22:19,829
You know you want to.
598
00:22:19,830 --> 00:22:21,374
I don't really want to.
599
00:22:21,375 --> 00:22:23,049
Just try. You...
600
00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:24,625
Just try.
601
00:22:28,250 --> 00:22:30,690
[SIGHS]
602
00:22:39,780 --> 00:22:44,950
[GENTLE MELODY PLAYS]
603
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:53,919
PHIL: ♪ ... never even knew ya ♪
604
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,583
♪ Ah-ah-ah-vay ♪
605
00:22:56,584 --> 00:22:58,458
♪ Mari... ♪
606
00:22:58,459 --> 00:23:00,180
♪ Ee-ee-ee ♪
607
00:23:00,209 --> 00:23:02,699
♪ Ee-ee-ee ♪
608
00:23:02,700 --> 00:23:05,449
- ♪ Ah. ♪
- Phil,
609
00:23:05,450 --> 00:23:07,369
that... was... gorgeous.
610
00:23:07,370 --> 00:23:09,791
Those are not the words
to that song, though.
611
00:23:09,792 --> 00:23:11,499
"Ave Maria, I never really knew ya"?
612
00:23:11,500 --> 00:23:13,208
- I was just going with it.
- Well,
613
00:23:13,209 --> 00:23:15,909
this has been fun, but I got to go.
614
00:23:15,910 --> 00:23:17,500
You want to know what I want?
615
00:23:22,667 --> 00:23:26,899
I want you... to contact my wife Tammy.
616
00:23:26,900 --> 00:23:28,291
She's okay with this.
617
00:23:28,292 --> 00:23:30,479
And I want you to go in our sauna.
618
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:32,539
We have a sauna in our house.
619
00:23:32,540 --> 00:23:34,079
And she knows how hot to make it.
620
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:35,583
You just follow her rules.
621
00:23:35,584 --> 00:23:38,689
You guys are gonna drink
two bottles of Chardonnay.
622
00:23:38,690 --> 00:23:40,291
Then you're gonna have sex.
623
00:23:40,292 --> 00:23:42,749
She's gonna be on top,
she's gonna do all the work.
624
00:23:42,750 --> 00:23:45,309
So you're gonna have her smell all over.
625
00:23:45,310 --> 00:23:47,849
Then you're gonna drive straight here,
626
00:23:47,850 --> 00:23:50,205
and I'm gonna smell
you from knees to tits,
627
00:23:50,206 --> 00:23:52,439
front and back, for
ten straight minutes,
628
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:53,659
no talking.
629
00:23:53,660 --> 00:23:55,999
Then you're gonna leave, and
we're never gonna discuss it,
630
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,199
and we will never make eye contact.
631
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,699
You do that... I give you the name.
632
00:24:01,700 --> 00:24:04,119
I just miss the smell of that woman.
633
00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:06,041
That's the air I breathe,
that's my freedom.
634
00:24:06,042 --> 00:24:08,249
- Deal.
- [CHUCKLES]
635
00:24:08,250 --> 00:24:11,159
- Great.
- Oh, yes!
636
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:12,916
- [SIGHS]
- Or...
637
00:24:12,917 --> 00:24:15,699
I could just arrange for her to
come in for a conjugal visit.
638
00:24:15,700 --> 00:24:17,139
They don't... they don't do
those anymore. Those are...
639
00:24:17,140 --> 00:24:19,249
That's just an idea from the
movies. It's not a real thing.
640
00:24:19,250 --> 00:24:21,659
- Oh, it's a very real thing.
- No, it isn't.
641
00:24:21,660 --> 00:24:24,167
- Phil told me they don't exist.
- No, they've stopped doing those.
642
00:24:24,170 --> 00:24:27,299
I don't know who gave Phil that
information, but he's wrong.
643
00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:29,199
There's a fuck box right
behind this prison.
644
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,179
I want to go in the fuck box with Tammy.
645
00:24:31,180 --> 00:24:33,539
Done.
646
00:24:33,540 --> 00:24:36,083
You promise that I can trust you?
647
00:24:36,084 --> 00:24:38,459
I do.
648
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:44,199
This is me writing down
Chief's partner's name,
649
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,499
and if you can get that
done, then this is yours.
650
00:24:46,500 --> 00:24:47,749
- We have a deal?
- Absolutely.
651
00:24:47,750 --> 00:24:48,959
- Okay, good.
- Great.
652
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:50,279
- Then this is yours.
- Great.
653
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:51,909
Great. Magic.
654
00:24:51,910 --> 00:24:54,249
- [SIGHS]
- Phil, do you mind coming over here?
655
00:24:54,250 --> 00:24:57,010
- On my way.
- Thanks.
656
00:24:58,830 --> 00:25:01,759
Do you mind putting two
fingers into Phil's mouth
657
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:02,959
and seeing what you find?
658
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,719
Ugh.
659
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:07,789
Oh. Really?
660
00:25:07,790 --> 00:25:08,999
I insist.
661
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,200
You'll want to.
662
00:25:11,209 --> 00:25:13,209
Oh.
663
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:15,869
[GROANS]
664
00:25:15,870 --> 00:25:17,167
- Ugh.
- Deeper.
665
00:25:18,500 --> 00:25:21,084
No. Don't tell me. No!
666
00:25:22,020 --> 00:25:24,329
"Gary Westbrook." Hmm.
667
00:25:24,330 --> 00:25:25,459
Thank you very much, Haldeman.
668
00:25:25,460 --> 00:25:26,749
- [LAUGHS]
- Magic.
669
00:25:26,750 --> 00:25:28,759
- Thank you about the Tammy thing.
- It's been a pleasure.
670
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,859
- Very excited to have sex with her.
- And thank you, Victor.
671
00:25:30,860 --> 00:25:32,459
- Of course. Yeah.
- Great work.
672
00:25:32,460 --> 00:25:33,779
Oh!
673
00:25:33,780 --> 00:25:37,079
Turns out Phil's real
name is Victor. [LAUGHS]
674
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:38,699
See... [GROANS]
675
00:25:38,700 --> 00:25:41,919
... down at the bureau, they've
got this crazy department
676
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:45,169
that just does focus groups
and psychological testing.
677
00:25:45,170 --> 00:25:46,759
You know, in this case, to find out
678
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:49,084
what names people find trustworthy.
679
00:25:49,085 --> 00:25:52,339
Turns out, Phil is a
very trustworthy name.
680
00:25:52,340 --> 00:25:56,019
Victor... not so much.
Duplicitous, secretive.
681
00:25:56,020 --> 00:25:57,599
People don't trust Victors.
682
00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:00,460
They do trust Phils.
683
00:26:00,470 --> 00:26:02,705
[LAUGHING]: When you threw my boots,
684
00:26:02,706 --> 00:26:04,519
- oh, my God.
- [LAUGHS] Well...
685
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,619
- That was amazing.
- That was just off the top of my head. I...
686
00:26:06,620 --> 00:26:08,239
All right, eat shit, asshole.
687
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:09,839
[BOTH LAUGH]
688
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:10,979
Oh, man.
689
00:26:10,980 --> 00:26:13,780
It was so good. It was so good.
690
00:26:15,780 --> 00:26:17,419
I'm sorry.
691
00:26:17,420 --> 00:26:18,792
It got real for me, too.
692
00:26:18,793 --> 00:26:22,100
- DUSTIN: Victor!
- I'm coming. I'm sorry.
693
00:26:24,700 --> 00:26:27,659
WOMAN [OVER RADIO]: The
victim, Gavin "Chief" Reed, Jr.,
694
00:26:27,660 --> 00:26:28,899
was a known felon
695
00:26:28,900 --> 00:26:30,519
who was apparently turning witness
696
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,859
against the Las Hormigas Cartel
697
00:26:32,860 --> 00:26:34,939
when he was shot dead by a sniper
698
00:26:34,940 --> 00:26:38,259
in the foyer of the San
Diego Police Department.
699
00:26:38,260 --> 00:26:44,834
♪
700
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:49,579
[SIGHS]
701
00:26:49,580 --> 00:26:54,499
♪
702
00:26:54,500 --> 00:26:58,079
♪ I see saints ♪
703
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:02,179
♪ I see angels ♪
704
00:27:02,180 --> 00:27:05,859
♪ Reaching out ♪
705
00:27:05,860 --> 00:27:09,739
♪ To touch my hand ♪
706
00:27:09,740 --> 00:27:13,499
♪ But I will not ♪
707
00:27:13,500 --> 00:27:18,039
♪ Be forsaken ♪
708
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:21,099
♪ To live and die ♪
709
00:27:21,100 --> 00:27:25,699
♪ In sugarland ♪
710
00:27:25,700 --> 00:27:28,699
♪ To live and die ♪
711
00:27:28,700 --> 00:27:33,539
♪ In sugarland ♪
712
00:27:33,540 --> 00:27:36,499
♪ To live and die ♪
713
00:27:36,500 --> 00:27:40,539
♪ In sugarland. ♪
714
00:27:40,540 --> 00:27:45,440
[VOCALIZING]
51872
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