All language subtitles for Carter - 02x07 - Harley Wanted To Say Bonspiel.CROOKS.English.HI.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

COMMENTATOR: I didn't see any
urgency in the brushing there.

They kinda all quit
talking at the hog line.

ANNOUNCER: They think they can get this

with a third of a stone
to half a stone...

Excuse me. Sorry.
You are not gonna believe...

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Did you just sextuple shush me?

No talking.

Skip's gotta get the last
brick on the pin for the win.

Staying with it all the way...

(CROWD CHEERING)

MAN: Woo-hoo!

Wha... why are you hugging strangers?

Are you the worst Canadian
ever in the world?

This is the Women's Curling Final!

All right? The skipper had to
put the hammer on the button

for the game and what a win!

Anyways, Bishop hosting this year's

Farquhar Women's Curling Invitational,

which is a qualifier for the Olympics.

Yeah. Winner gets 250K

and it looks like this
is gonna be the year

of my favourite player,

"Round the House" Ronnie Hart!

She's the best. Oh, my God.

She's also the anchor for
my fantasy curling league.

- This is why you're single, man.
- Hey.

I'm married to the sheet.

The ice! The ice surface in curling.
The sheet.

Doesn't matter.

Anyways, her signature
move is "around the house"

and it takes a lot of skill,
so check your tone.

Skill?!

This is just shuffleboard on ice!

- Oh no, you didn't.
- REPORTER: Breaking news.

Olympic curler Camille
DeMello is now being released

- from St. Anthony's Hospital...
- What?

...following a physical attack

last night at Emerald Curling Club.

Okay, well this is interesting.

We go live as rival curler Ronnie Hart

is being brought in for
police questioning.

Don't worry, honey. Be strong!

No.

Hey, I said no comment!

I wanna talk to Harley
Carter, no one else.

- (CROWD REACTIONS)
- Let me go!

What?

People don't talk to you through the TV?

HARLEY: Ronnie Hart.

Thank you for coming, Mr. Carter.

Well, last time I was
called out like that on TV,

I was up for Best Hero
at the MTV Movie Awards.

I didn't attack nobody, okay?
I'm innocent.

Someone's trying to set me up hard-core

to get me out of play in
the upcoming competition.

Any idea who this somebody is?

No! But it's working.

The Curling Federation is
gonna suspend me from play.

They think I actually did this!

I'm guessing that cyber bullying

doesn't fall in line with
the Curling Code of Conduct.

Okay. So what if I tweeted
that Camille was gonna go down,

it was gonna hurt real bad. Whatever.

I was trash talking.
All athletes trash talk,

so why am I being singled out?

I have worked so hard

and I have sacrificed so much.

This is my one chance to
qualify for the Olympics.

My one chance.

Do you have any idea what
losing that would feel like?

I do.

I came within kissing distance

of something very special and...

I blew it.

(SIGHING) You got an
alibi for last night?

I was at home with my husband George.

Can anyone else verify that?

Because husbands tend to cover
for wives and vice versa.

Look, you wanna know the
real reason I'm here?

- Yeah.
- They want me gone.

I'm not the princess they want.

I don't have the right look.
I don't have sponsors.

I'm never gonna be the
face of a cereal box,

but I am the better player.

My life,

and my reputation is
on the line, Harley,

- and only you can clear my name.
- Why me? I-I...

I don't know anything about... cruising?

- Curling.
- Curling.

Because, you got the same raw deal

after your Hollywood blow-up.

The world turned on you for a while.

Twitter... Twitter hated you.

Oh, come on. It wasn't that bad.

It was bad. Oh, yeah. It was...

it was funny, but it was bad.

There were some good comments.

It was hate. It was all hate.

(CLEARING THROAT)

But you know, you've
built yourself back up,

- proved them wrong.
- I did.

It's not easy.

I need you to do that for me, Harley.

- I need a hero.
- Okay.

Ronnie, I'm going to get you

- and your broom...
- Brush.

- ...and your puck...
- Stone.

Whatever.

You called Carter and Carter answered.

I'm gonna take your case.

Oh. So gross.

♪♪

(DYNAMIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

Synced and corrected by Pisuly
www.addic7ed.com

♪♪

HARLEY: I know what this is.

This is the spontaneous,
not-so-spontaneous sit-down,

a little mid-season tête-à-tête,

mano y mano.

Just like Pacino and DeNiro in Heat.

- I didn't see it.
- Seriously?

DiCaprio and Nicholson in The Departed.

Didn't see that either.

Carrey and Daniels in Dumb and Dumber?

Ever heard of premium cable?

It's like ten bucks a month.

Look, uh, Carter...

Let me just cut to the chase, all right?

Why didn't anything ever
happen between you and Shaw?

(SIGHING)

Because Sam's the best.

There is no one else like her.

She's been my best friend forever.

And I wouldn't do anything
to mess with that.

Good. And I agree.

There's no one else like her.
She's, uh...

Shaw's amazing.

As a cop, she outshines a lot.

She's... great confidante,

she's funny... kind.

Lot of adjectives strung together there.

Let me ask you one more question.

You think I'm a bad guy?
Like the villain here?

You know,
the "big bad" in one of your TV shows.

Who's writing the script?

You. Yeah, you and your boy Dave.

Oh no, no, Dave cannot be my co-writer.

He's a terrible typist,
just the two fingers...

Yeah, well I know you both
like to do your research,

digging deep into people's lives.

You find anything?

Well, if I'm writing the J-Boyle biopic

and I'm starting page one, scene one,

I gotta tell you,

I don't think it's the
feel-good movie of the year.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Something you don't
have to wait for... is this.

If any harm or darkness

should ever come to Sam
from you or anyone else,

I would not hesitate to go full

Pacino-DeNiro-Schwarzenegger-Van Damme

on you or anyone else who caused it.

Scratch that.

I'm gonna go full Harley Carter,

the not-safe-for-TV kind.

(LOUD SIPPING) Mmm.

Got the milk and cream ratio just right.

Do you want a sip?

Let's set some ground rules.

No drooling and no gawking,

especially when we talk to the victim.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. No
ground rules required.

I'm not exactly Team Camille.

She and her teammates are
all pretty-faced egomaniacs

in matching stretch pants and UGGs.

They are Cobra Kai to Ronnie's Macchio.

(SCOFFING) You don't have
to worry about me, bud.

I'm nothing short of a
true professional...

Oh, yes!

Perfect Instagram opportunity!

(SHUTTER SNAPPING) Curling, baby!

Super professional, hey!

Oh, I spy with my little eye, Sam.

So, the security guard confirmed
there were no CCTV cameras

in the corridors leading
to the locker room.

So no footage of the attack?

Anyone else getting a
Gillooly vibe with this case?

Mm, more like a Ronda Rousey

- taking out her latest opponent vibe.
- Oh, come on.

Do not tell us you're on the
"Ronnie Hart did it" bandwagon.

No, I don't bandwagon,

but she's got a weak alibi,

she's got a history of
unsportsmanlike conduct,

and she's known as an enforcer

in a sport that has no enforcers.

Sam, the press has it out for her.

She's a champion in underdog's clothing.

All right, I'm just following
the evidence, okay?

If she is guilty,
she's gonna need more of a P.I.,

even if it is Bishop's Best.

Oh, I was hoping for one
of Bishop's Hottest.

(IMITATING SIZZLING)

Practice really hard and one day

you might make the Olympics like me.

- (GIGGLING)
- Miss DeMello,

I am Detective Shaw, Bishop Police.

I'm Harley Carter, P.I.
of the Magnum P.I.s.

This is my Jonathan Higgins.

You are much funnier in
person than you are on TV.

I like you.

And you-I don't know if I like you yet.

Have you arrested Ronnie Hart
for her latest abomination?

She attacked me,

smashed my foot,

shattered my fourth metatarsal.

I can't walk. I certainly can't curl.

Metatarsal sounds like something
you take to stay regular.

I know you're on her side, Harley.

I saw the news,

how she begged you to take her "case".

But trust me,
once you hear all the heinous details,

you will see her for the
monster she really is.

Yeah, the monster who's
breaking your records

- and shattering your streak...
- Okay.

I'm cool! (LAUGHING)

I'm cool. I'm good. I'm walkin' away.

If it's all right with you,

can you take me through the
events of the attack now?

(SIGHING) Certainly.

Sorry.

(SIGHING) Well.

I hate to relive this
horrible night over again.

(SIGHING) But,
I was heading towards the chaise

when I sensed a presence.

Suddenly, a masked intruder
wearing a black hoodie

grabbed me. I screamed,

and that's when the
lights were flicked out.

Ronnie Hart smashed
me with my own trophy

and then fled the scene.

So, this is the assault weapon?

DAVE: That's the Golden Curl...

2013 Ladies Cup Final.

You beat Sweden 9-2.

So what makes you so
sure that it was Ronnie

when you just stated that
the intruder was masked?

'Cause she was been threatening
to hurt me for years.

I told everyone this
would happen and it did.

Ask this guy!

How did you know I would know?

Because you are a grown man

wearing a women's curling jersey.

What's the deal with
all these hotdog buns?

Well,
a grabbed a bag of buns to defend myself

and I smacked the intruder
until the bag burst.

Oh, Gus, darling!

GUS: Don't wanna disturb.
Just here to clean up.

SAM: Gus Beamer?

The initial police report
said that you were the first

at the scene? You called the police?

Yeah, I got here as fast as I could.

Curling's been my life's work.

Drives my wife nuts.

Now I get to geek out with
my fantasy league pals.

What?

Dude... Fruit of the Broom!

In Living Curler.

- No!
- A pleasure!

You're the guy who took that name!

Okay, well, Gus cannot clean

an active crime scene. Sorry.

That's fine.

Hey, stick around.

We can talk rocks later.

GUS: All right. Rocked and loaded.

So, Gus was the only
one that you spoke to?

No, I had a meeting
right before the attack

with Oscar Farquhar.

The guy who owns the car
dealership in town?

Oh, uh... Oscar Farquhar,
it's great casting.

He looks exactly like you would think

a car dealer would look like.

You'll see it when you meet him.

He's sponsoring the upcoming
Ladies Invitational.

We need his money

but that man has some
serious anger issues.

Are you or any of the other
players afraid of him?

If you ask me, darling,

you already have the
culprit of my attack...

H-A-R-T.

Well, why don't you let me conduct

my own investigation, okay?

Darling?

I'm gonna go question Farquhar.

Camille's teammates are
about to take the ice.

We'll see if we can get
something out of them,

help us crack the case.

Okay, I will see you
back at the station.

Oh, uh, Boyle is having a seafood...

boil, uh, at the Wreck,

and he wanted me to invite you guys.

Something about soft shells and shrimp

and just like a casual hang?

Sorry, my lobster bib
is at the cleaner's.

- What is with the attitude?
- No attitude. It's just,

why is Boyle suddenly playing host?

Yeah. I didn't even know
he had any friends.

I'm not asking you guys
to pal around with him,

but I did think I could count

on my two best friends to be polite

and show up to my boss's party.

What is with you and Boyle?

You know what? Count me in, Sam.
Anything for you.

It would really mean a lot
to me if you would come too.

Fine. You want me there, I'll be there.

I'll bring the "whine".

Sorry, that joke looked a
lot funnier on the page.

(SIGHING)

DAVE: Why are you so
hard on the writers?

What are you looking at?

Ronnie is the one we
should be concentrating on.

What is this article about?

Oh, yeah. That was a
bad game for Camille.

Some new official accused
her of cheating.

150K on the line.

Camille freaked, caused a huge scene.

Did she actually cheat?

Depends on who you ask,
but yeah, she did.

Still won though.

Her team backed it up,

pinned it on a bad call.

Ultimately, the official was fired,

driven out of the game entirely.

That's how powerful this team is.

Seems that Ronnie is not
the only hothead on the ice.

- (SHOUTING)
- Who's that?

That is Portia Quintano,
Camille's second.

Total Mean Girl.

Looks like Portia has been
promoted as the new skip.

It's the understudy that
always has the most to gain

from taking out the star.

I once understudied John Stamos
in a national tour of Cabaret

and I put a little peanut
inside of his Greek salad.

If he had been allergic,
it would've been me

who was "velkomming"
the crowd that night.

I smell motive.

And stale beer... but mostly motive.

Let's go talk to the new skip.

Here.

I had a thousand of those printed,

and now I can't give them away.

You can keep that one.

Why would I spend all that money

if I was gonna take Camille out?

This whole scandal's been
nothing but a money pit for me,

and it's all Hart's fault.

That's where you should be lookin'.

- What makes you say that?
- The whole family's a mess!

I had to repossess her mother's car.

The Harts are having money trouble?

Heck, yeah!

All Ronnie ever talked about

was what she'd do with the prize money.

Knocking out Camille's a
pretty sure-fire way to nab it.

(SIGHING) Sorry to interrupt.

But you should see this.

Oh, yeah.

That's Curl-y Q's curling blog.

Great blog for all things curling.

You got your team stats,
bios, trade information.

The last post was actually
about Camille's attack.

Yeah, but...

Camille was attacked with
her Golden Stone trophy.

That detail was never made public.

Nice catch, Rafalski.

Any idea who this Curl-Y Q is?

Blogger's anonymous.

Not for long.

Harder!

Harder!

Skip directs the sweepers.

Ah, directing.

Now you're talkin' my language. Action!

You gain points by getting your stone

closest to the centre.

Team with the most points wins.

I mean, it's all about
strategy and athleticism!

Athleticism? Still, a
sport where Patton Oswalt

and Paul Giamatti could be champions.

You wanna help me out, Dave? Here we go.

It's not that slippery.

- Here we go.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Oh! Ow!
- Practice is in session.

Clear the ice!

Uh, we actually wanted to
talk to you about the attack.

Oh, are you the police?

Uh, no. We're private investigators.

Well, I'm a private investigator.
He's just a fan.

Well, if you're not the police

then I don't have to
answer any questions.

So, please.

Get out of my eyeline. I am busy

trying to get my team
ready for the championship.

Come on, girls!

Thought you said this was
an honour-based sport.

That is pure ire decked
out in Tiffany studs.

Did you notice how she's calling it
"her" team already?

Mm-hm. Portia would never
progress if Camille was playing.

She doesn't have the talent.

She's curling's Anna Kournikova.

Looking like my understudy
theory is bang-on.

Mm-hm.

HARLEY: Black hoodie.
We have to get ready

- to follow our new suspect.
- Yeah, let's go.

- Help me out.
- What? Come on.

- Please Dave.
- Come on. It's not that slippery.

What are you doing?

So that's the house that curling built.

More like the house that cheating built.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hey, Sam. What's goin' on with Farquhar?

I got a lead from him
on this blogger Curl-Y Q

who had insider information
about the crime.

I had an ISP provider get me the address

assigned to the internet connection.

All right, let me just
grab a pen and paper.

What is this, 1995?

No, that's the year I claim I was born.

You know what?
Dave's gonna write it down. Shoot.

The home address connected to
the blog is 1405 Windsor Lane.

We just followed Camille's
teammate Portia

to that exact home address.

Sam, this is the moment in the episode

where the two separate leads converge

in a glorious win. Cue the music!

Okay. Whew.

Alright.

- Start with some questioning...
- Mm-hm.

And then we'll ask if
we can use the bathroom.

Actually, you know what?

Let's ask if we can use the bathroom

and then we'll go into the questioning.

Sorry, I drank a lot
of that sports drink

in one of those sports bottles.

I just wanna know why all of the options

have you and me sharing a bathroom.

Wow.

You really have nothing
better to do than stalk me?

Look who it is... the new skip

who tried to skip out
on our questioning.

Well, you can't skip out on
us this time. (CHUCKLING)

Unless you know how to double-Dutch,

which is something I never learned.

Look, Portia, we know
you attacked Camille

in that same black hoodie

and then you came home and
you bragged about it online.

Yep. We traced the Curl-Y Q blog

to a computer working from this address.

That is actually insane
because Camille is my mentor.

- I would never hurt her.
- Leave the acting to me.

I didn't do it. I don't "blog".

Mom, I defrosted your
beef bourguignon...

Maybe you don't blog,

but I'm gonna bet your daughter does.

Suzy.

Look, no one in here

believes you're behind the attack, okay?

We just have a few questions
that we need you to answer,

so don't be nervous.

Why would I be nervous
to answer questions

from a cop who clearly
spends more time in the gym

than on the job?

The pecs gave it away.

It was leg day.

Could I have a try? I speak kid.

Have at it.

Yeah, gettin' hot in here, isn't it?

You want your little Hello Kitty pen?

Maybe you're getting thirsty,
want a juice box.

You know what?

Enough small talk.

You say you write your
blog and not your mommy.

- Yes.
- Well, it's a pretty big girl blog

for such a little girl to be writing.

Where'd you learn to write like that?

School. Duh!

Oh, well you used some big girl words

like "calamity", "intermittent",

"non... 'shall'ance"?

It's pronounced "nonchalance".

Aren't you an actor?

Weren't you privately tutored on set?

(SEETHING)

Okay. Uh, Suzy,

how did you know that Camille
got injured by her trophy?

Because we never made
that detail public.

I ain't divulging my sources.
Snitches get stitches.

She has a point.

You cannot keep critical information

about a violent attack to yourself.

So, either somebody told you
about the trophy, or you saw it.

Wait, Suzy, how did you know?

Were you at the rink?

Did you sneak out of your
father's house again last night?

Tell me right now

or you can kiss your
laptop goodbye for a month.

It was Ronnie!

She told me and said not to tell anyone.

So what-now you're saying I'm a liar?

Yeah, you're calling my wife a liar?

What I'm saying is I
have faith in my clients,

but that faith gets rattled when
I find out they've been lying

and you lied.

You were not home last night.

We have an eye witness
that puts you at the rink

at the time of the attack.

Well, why don't you tell them
why you were there yesterday?

Oh, wait.

What was it you didn't
want me to tell the cops?

(SIGHING)

- Was that eye witness Suzy Quintano?
- Mm-hm.

Ronnie, help me out here and
we can meet you halfway.

I was at the rink last night

giving Suzy private
curling lessons, okay?

But sometimes we just
like, talk, though.

She needed an ear that
wasn't always her mom

and she... she told me
I was her role model

and it sort of like, melted me.

I know her parents are going through
a really crappy divorce right now

and I wanted to give the kid an outlet

because I think she's got talent.

I didn't tell you guys earlier
because I knew saying I was at the rink

made it look worse for me.

Hey, why wouldn't anyone want
Ronnie teaching their kid?

You know, she's like
Bishop's LeBron James.

- Stop.
- Except, you know,

shorter, and a lady, and a curler.

Well, not like LeBron.

How did you know that the
trophy was the assault weapon?

I overheard security talking about it

when they searched the venue.

And that was during the lesson?

No. We'd already finished.

Suzy had to use the little girls' room
and I was waiting for her

so I could drive her back to her dad.

All right, so that should clear her!

Actually,
that puts her at the scene of the crime

with an opportunity to slip off
of the rink, hurt Camille,

and then make it back
unseen to drive Suzy home.

We know you have the
means and the motive.

Now we can add opportunity.

Just waiting on our smoking gun.

Gun? What?

Detective Shaw doesn't believe me,
huh, Harley?

I can't stand the world
thinking I'm guilty.

I might be able to help you with that.

That is a great question
and here is a great answer.

Hell, yes!

I have been ready for this
since I was 12 years old.

My team is Olympic ready and I am...

Whoa, whoa, hey!

What's up, everybody!

No, no, no. This is my press conference.

I don't think you had dibs.
Hey, everybody!

You all know me, Harley Carter.

(CHEERING)

I'm here to tell you that my client,

Ronnie Hart, has been doubted,

her name dragged through the mud.

- Yep.
- We're gonna clear her name.

Ronnie's gonna get back on the ice,

and then Ronnie's gonna win!

Ladies and gentlemen,

let me introduce to you,

the one, the only,

Round the House Ronnie!

(CHEERING)

Harley didn't even know Ronnie's
nickname until I taught him.

(CHUCKLING) Nice work.

I have to remind my wife of the players'
names every game!

- CROWD: Ronnie! Ronnie!
- Stop!

Okay. No questions.

- All right, one question.
- Any comment on the rumours

Keegan-Michael Key is
on the new short list

- to take over Call Carter?
- And no more questions!

I have a question.

Why doesn't Ronnie just admit

that she attacked Camille
to win the Invitational?

I don't need to make cheap shots to win,

unlike you, who had to take Camille out

to finally make skip.

(SCOFFING)

Maybe we should leave Suzy's lessons

to someone more qualified.

If someone landed a shot rock
over a hogged stone, I would.

- What did you just say?!
- (CROWD REACTIONS)

(YELLING OVER EACH OTHER)

Dave, Dave a little help? This is
turning into an episode of GLOW!

- Help, please.
- Let me go!

You're dead. You hear me? Dead!

You don't wanna be
shouting things like that.

They usually come back to
bite you in the next act.

♪♪

Hello?

(URGENTLY) Hello?

(THUMPING)

(SCREAMING) Ow! My leg!

Portia is in the hospital after
being attacked last night,

and this was found at the crime scene,

your fingerprints all over it.

Your initials etched on the handle
is not really helping either.

I have no idea how my lucky brush

ended up on the ice last night, okay?

It's like I've said this entire time.

Someone is trying to frame me.

What more proof do you need?

Where were you last night, Ronnie?

I was at home, cold calling.

I work part-time selling
reusable cat litter

- to help pay the bills.
- At home?

That is exactly what you told us

after Camille was attacked and
that turned out to be a lie,

so, nice touch with the cat
litter, but I'm not buying it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I wanna hear more

about this reusable kitty
litter before you shoot it down.

I meant I'm not buying the story.

Hey. What's the plan, Harley?

How are you gonna get me outta this?

In my experience,

when you really want
someone to be innocent,

you tend to let your feelings
get in the way of the facts.

At this point,
you are not helping her by helping her.

I made a promise.

Ronnie, if it wasn't you,

who else had access to your equipment?

(ROCKABILLY MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, oh, oh.

Uh... what are you doing?

What do you say we sashay on over there

and go hustle this guy?

I didn't come here to watch you

act out scenes from The Color of Money.

Oh. I do a pretty good Tom Cruise.

- (SNICKERING)
- That's not bad.

HARLEY: What's up, Georgie?

SAM: Hiya.

Hey... Mr. Carter.

I'd actually...

I'd prefer to be alone.

My wife just got arrested.

Mmm, we are aware.

Well, shouldn't you be working her case?

Because Ronnie didn't do anything.

Who did? Any thoughts?

What do ya say we rack these babies up

and then nutshell this?

Yeah! Talk over some leads.

You know, Jorge, I was married once.

Didn't end too well. Cost me a fortune.

But there are two things

you gotta know when
you're in a marriage.

The first... self-grooming.

Muy importante.

The second, communication.

If you're gonna be late,

you gotta let your spouse know.

They appreciate it.

You didn't do that last night, did you?

(CLATTER, GLASS SHATTERING)

- MAN: Oh! Nice job, buddy!
- I'm sorry?

Ronnie said that you
were out late last night

and never said where you went.

Where'd you go, Georgie?

Think before you answer.

Okay, here we go. Corner pocket!

Wait, what's going in the corner pocket?

The pool ball.

- Actually, it was my turn?
- That it is.

Where were you, George?

Questions only get
harder as we go along.

I love my wife.

You've made that crystal clear.

You'd do anything for her.

Wait... what do you two
think you think you know?

What do you think we
think we think we know?

I think you think...

You think we're thinking

of something totally different
than you're thinking of.

- Well, what?
- Think about this.

Our minds were thinking of you

thinking about what you
were gonna think about

- what you were gonna think.
- I think you think

that I took Ronnie's curling brush

and did something with
it, which I didn't.

We've spent a lot of time thinking about

what you were gonna be thinking about

and it made us think...

(WHISPERING) ...what
were you thinking about?

Okay. Enough. All right?

Ronnie told us, George.

Come on. Your wife does not want you

to get into any more trouble
than you're already in.

I'm sorry.

Okay, I... I did it.

Nobody was supposed to get hurt!

I was just supposed to
give him the brush!

SAM AND HARLEY: Who's him?

It's the day of the
Invitationals, Oscar.

The Federation always
gives out the trophies,

not the sponsor.

But Madame Commissioner, don't you think

that given the chunk of
money that I personally...

- SAM: Sorry to interrupt.
- I'm not sorry.

We are here on behalf of my client,

Ronnie Hart, who is 100% innocent,

because we now know the
identity of the real attacker.

As the late, great,
Koji Yasuda once said,

"follow the money".
Isn't that right, Farquhar?

I'm not behind these attacks!

Publicity gets drummed up,
ticket sales go up,

and you get a hefty percentage
of those ticket sales,

don't you, Farquhar?

What are you talking about?

Did you not ask George Hart

to bring you Ronnie's curling brush?

It was a business opportunity!

I told George to leave her
brush for me in her locker.

The silver lining, I thought,

was selling the thing!

You know,

people pay top dollar
for sports memorabilia

- that belongs to a convicted athlete.
- Hey!

No one's been convicted, Pinstripes.

Okay, I'm not the enemy here, okay?

I never even saw the brush!

When I got to her locker,
it wasn't there.

Well, how many people do you think
had access to Ronnie's locker?

Day of the championship?
More than Farquhar.

(WRAPPING ON TABLE)

- Whoa! Judge Judy!
- This is the last straw.

Miss Hart, in light of no
new evidence or suspect,

I have no choice but
to activate your ban.

You will not compete
in today's bonspiel.

No, no, no.

Please reconsider, Madame.

It is tough enough out
there for female athletes

when fans care more about our
looks than our skills sometimes.

All I wanted was to be taken seriously

for who I am and my talent.

Please.

Miss Hart...

you will not represent our sport

on our sheets or any other sheets today.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have a lot to do before
the competition begins.

I think I'm gonna pass out.

I'm so sorry, Ronnie.

We gotta go back to the scene.

We have to reinvestigate,

see if we missed something.

No, no, no. It's too late,
Harley. We tried.

But this is my fate. Okay? I'm done.

I've got no more fight left in me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

That's no way for a soon-to-be
Olympian to be talking.

I want you to grab your gear

and I want you to go wait by the ice,

because you are going to play in the...

schp... schpull buh.

What?

The spielball.

Oh, the bonspiel.

Bonspiel.

I'm sorry, I wanted to say
that word all episode.

Goooood afternoon, Bishop,

and welcome to the Farquhar
Women's Curling Invitational!

I'm Wes Holmes,

Bishop's resident forensic expert

and son of Manitoba's eight-time
women's curling champion,

Madge Holmes.

Wow, what a claim to fame, Wes.

And I'm Delilah Halsey,
and I was roped into this

because I'm mouthy, hot to trot,

and a glutton for punishment.

WES: Coin tosses are underrated.

Yes!

Looks like Team Camille has won the toss

and we are off to the races!

So much controversy
surrounding these ladies.

Both teams playing new skips.

But that's all behind us now

as both teams take the ice!

Well, my money is on the mean girls

'cause they look feisty.

(AUDIENCE SHOUTING)

Lay off the rock,

let's see where this stone will land.

Who knows and who cares,

'cause in my mind, I'm already at home

with a big bowl of Jamoca Almond Fudge

and maybe some ice cream.

- Oh, and it hits the button!
- (CHEERING)

Dead centre! The perfect start

for the reason we're all alive today!

Folks, I work with this guy

in a very dark room with
some very dead bodies, so...

And we're also sort of a couple.

Oh, we are not a couple.

Well, intimacy has a way
of rearing its head

- in delicate ways.
- All right.

Action!

Camille walks toward the chaise lounge.

I, intruder, enter,

come up behind Camille,

struggle ensues...

Okay, so if you're
coming through the door,

then you're able to grab a hold of me,

so you probably grab my
shoulder with one hand,

and then your other hand

to the small of my back
so you can spin me around.

(BREATHLESSLY) Oh.

Harley, come on.

Put your hand right here.

Spin me around.

And then the lights go out.

- SAM: Dave?
- DAVE: Yeah?

This is a re-enactment.

You don't actually have
to turn the lights off.

(CROWD NOISES FROM RINK)

HARLEY: Who do you think's
winning right now?

(CHEERING)

Ooh, they cannot be happy

with that release or that sweep!

You know, I am confused and bored,

but that looks like a
major blunder, Wes.

I gotta tell ya, Delilah,

Team Hart could really use

some of that Ronnie Hart
magic right about now.

(GASPING) That's it.

What if Camille wasn't the
only person on the ground?!

What if in the dark,
the intruder slipped,

fell, hit the deck?

And Camille wouldn't know about it

because the lights were off,

so it wouldn't be in her testimony.

Okay, look.

The buns, the buns, look at the buns.

The buns.

Buns, buns...

Buns. The buns.

Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh!

I know who did it!

Who?

Oh, hello?

Oh, what's that?

You don't want me to tell them

until after the commercial break?

(CHUCKLING)

Okay. Cut. Print.

WES: Team Camille take
the lead nine to six.

Team Hart now possess the last stone.

Oh, my stars and garters! (CHUCKLING)

Garters, yeah. I knew
there was some cake

- behind all that vanilla.
- I'm officially uncomfortable

- and a little turned on.
- Mission accomplished.

Whoa!

Oh-ho! Stop the game.

- Delilah, hit me.
- We speak the language.

Oh! Wow! Thank you, Delilah.

There's no such thing
as a perfect crime,

even if it is six years in the making.

Isn't that right, handyman Gus?

(SUSPENSE CUE PLAYING)

You know, Gus,

you said something super weird to me.

Curling's been my life's work.

It was a really odd thing
for a handyman to say,

but you weren't always a handyman,
were you, Gus?

Let's take a walk down Memory Lane.

Yeah, goin' down Memory Lane.

(CHUCKLING) Oh, yeah!

He's got the moves, right?

He should move off of the rink.

Ha-ha!

Six years ago,
Gus was rockin' a really sweet moustache

and he was also a curling official.

The last match he officiated
was the Golden Curl.

This rock is out of play!

He made a call... a good call.

- It was a burnt rock.
- Zero points...

Camille disputed it.
Portia backed her up.

Gus was fired.

The girls stood to lose $150,000

if that call stood. It was overturned,

your career was ruined,

and they didn't even break a nail.

Let's see that Golden Curl trophy!

You're kind of a "Golden Curled"...

I can't hear you when he's here.

This is also the trophy

that was used to break Camille's...

mm... meta-scorpal?

- Metatarsal.
- Marsupial.

- "Meta"...
- Meta?

...tarsal.

- He's not gonna get it.
- He'll get it.

Meh... metar...

ALL: Metatarsal!

- Metatarsal!
- DELILAH: You got it.

Thank you.

Gus, you took Ronnie's lucky brush

and used it to attack Portia.

They took away your
dreams of officiating.

You were gonna ruin their Olympic career

by making sure they would not be able

to compete in this qualifier.

And Ronnie was the perfect fall guy.

I'm sorry... fall person.

Let's talk about your wife for a second.
The old ball and chain.

Harley didn't even know Ronnie's
nickname until I taught him!

(CHUCKLING) Oh, nice job.

I have to remind my wife of the players'
names every game!

Oh, yeah. Okay. You know what?

Let's take a look at Gus's wedding ring.

Come on, cameraperson. Get in close.

Here, if you look up to your monitors,

you will see that it's not
actually a wedding ring at all.

It's actually Gus's ceremonial
curling officials ring.

The exact imprint of this ring

was found on a hotdog bun
at the scene of the crime.

- AUDIENCE: Ooh!
- What?!

How is that not in an evidence bag?
He should have an evidence bag.

You're an evidence bag.

WOMAN IN AUDIENCE: Whoa!

- You okay?
- Yep.

Why Gus? Why?

Because of a lost job?

I had to stop them!

They know they cheated.

And they needed to pay the price.

Should Ronnie have paid that price, Gus?

No. She shouldn't have.

Not too much. Watch out for the suede.
Watch out for the suede.

- Sorry.
- Okay.

Hey, ladies and gentlemen,

I wanna introduce to you

the newly innocent Round
the House Ronnie!

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

Okay, the Federation's Commissioner

is allowing Ronnie Hart
to play the hammer!

Be still, my beating heart!

- Was that a reference to me?
- That is not you.

Oh, my gosh!

She'll need to pull off
her signature move.

Can she do it, folks?

AUDIENCE: Ronnie! Ronnie! Ronnie!

Shh, shh!

Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry!

Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry,
hurry, hurry, hurry!

Stop!

♪♪

(CHEERING)

She did it!

(CHEERING)

Ronnie Hart has just come back
from the brink of disaster

and won the Farquhar Women's
Curling Invitational!

(CHEERING)

- Yeah!
- Woo!

♪ I don't know, what I'm gonna find ♪

This is quite the spread.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Old family recipe.

I'm really glad you made it out tonight.

Me too.

And don't worry about Harley and Dave.
They will show.

Fashionably late, but they will be here.

That's, um... that's Harley.

Aye-yeah! Come on!

Hurry! Harder!

- I'm curling!
- Harder!

You're curling!

Aah!

(LAUGHING)

It ain't easy.

- (IMITATING GUITAR SOLO)
- I told you.

All right, take it down a notch,

Fruit of the Broom.

You don't wanna pull something.

We'd better head over to Boyle's place.

We're heading into
fashionably late time.

(DOOR OPENING LOUDLY)

Which one of you is Dave Leigh?

Dave Leigh that left me a message

regarding one Joyce Warwick Boyle?

You're a hard guy to track down.

Fortunately for you, I'm a cop.
And a good one.

Marco Ciccone of the 52nd.

Dave, you wanna tell me how you know

an extra from The Shield?

Harley Carter, this is Marco Ciccone.

This is Boyle's ex-partner.

I put a phone call in,
tried to track him down.

Oh. Welcome to Bishop.

Yeah, well,
this isn't the kind of conversation

you can have over the phone.

Joyce Boyle is not to be trusted.

Let me tell ya a little story.

Boyle and I, we worked
homicide together.

We get tipped off.

There's this case we're working

that intersects with
this large drug bust.

Boyle's a bit of a hotshot.

He wants to get in there
before the backup hits.

What we walk into... ambush.

Set-up.

I get shot in the leg,
another cop gets shot dead,

and a boat-load of drug money
never makes it into evidence.

So Boyle's a dirty cop.

What would you think if
you had to work a limp

for the rest of your life,

bury a cop... a good friend...

and your partner of seven years

is the only thing that
gets off scot-free,

without a scratch?

So that's what his sealed
disciplinary hearing was about?

I tried to get more information

but everything's been redacted.

You mean buried.

Joyce doesn't work for ten months,

and then he shows up here in Bishop,

as the Chief of Police.

You've gotta ask yourselves,

what is he runnin' from?

You know, I've been
tryin' to track him down

ever since he skipped town.

And when I got that
message from you I thought...

maybe he knows somethin'.

Maybe you found the money,

or... or something else
that can pin this on him.

So he's here in Bishop laundering money?

All the arrows seem to be
pointing in one direction.

And if it was up to me,

I would look in his office.

My gut?

That's where you're gonna find the thing

that links him to this crime.

They haven't found the
gun that shot me yet.

Why don't the three of
us reconnect in the A.M.?

Concoct a plan to bring this bum down?

Yeah.

♪ Please don't let me down ♪

(GIGGLING)

♪ I got better things to do ♪

♪ Than let you hang around ♪

♪ When you don't know
what you should do ♪

♪ Please don't think you've found ♪

♪ Someone who will rescue you ♪

♪ I don't need your crown ♪

♪ I don't need your shades of blue ♪

Synced and corrected by Pisuly
www.addic7ed.com

♪ I got so many ways to
keep my hands clean ♪

♪ I got so many ways
to keep myself free ♪

♪ It's gonna take a
lot more than you ♪

♪ To convince me... ♪