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Good morning, Philadelphia.
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With us today is frank Reynolds,
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local business owner and a man
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with a harrowing story.
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Frank: That's right.
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A few days ago, three thugs
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tried to mug me.
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And I want to be very clear
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about something.
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Um, Mr...
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These pieces of garbage, they
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don't know who the hell they're
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dealing with.
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Mr. Reynolds, excuse me.
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Do you think maybe you could eat
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that sandwich later?
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I'm starving.
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You don't have nothing to eat
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in this show.
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Let's get back to your story.
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Right, so these punks...
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Yes.
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I don't know if they
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wanted money or they wanted
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something more sexual.
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Wow.
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But it's a lucky thing I had
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my pieces.
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Your-your pieces?
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My guns.
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Oh, my.
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Anyway, I started blasting.
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Bah! Bah!
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Now, I don't see so good, so I
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missed, then they ran away, I
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ran after them.
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Okay.
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Bang! Tried to shoot them in
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the back, but I don't run so
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good either.
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Anyway, you guys all think I'm a
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hero, and I'll accept that
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responsibility.
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Now, weren't you concerned
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though that an innocent
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bystander may have...
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Look, crime in this city is
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out of control.
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Mm.
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Thank god I went down to
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Gunther's guns and picked up a
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spare.
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I don't think one would've done
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it.
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I'm gonna go out and buy some
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more.
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Okay.
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And I think you should, too.
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Don't be a victim.
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It's time to fight back.
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Dennis: This is crazy.
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Mac: Completely insane.
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Dee: Oh, it's driving
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me nuts.
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Charlie: The whole gun thing,
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it just makes me really hot.
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Yeah, well, it's a hot issue
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and I'm getting hot about it,
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too.
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This is good, we're all hot
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at the same time.
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We should do something about...
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I mean, our schools aren't
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safe.
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There are people out on the
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streets with assault rifles?
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We're living in constant
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fear!
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Aw, guys, we got to get more
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guns on the streets!
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Yeah!
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Wait, what?
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We got to get more guns onto
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the streets.
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Yeah, we got to get guns in
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the right hands.
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I mean, we're just not safe.
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That's what you guys are hot
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about?
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Yeah, didn't you hear what
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frank said?
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Yeah, what are you hot about?
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There are too many guns on
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the streets as it is.
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Guns off the streets is what we
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need.
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It's way too easy for anybody
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to just walk into a store and
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get a gun.
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No, it's not.
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It getting harder and harder.
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The government's trying to take
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our guns away.
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It's way harder than you think,
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dude.
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Guys, we're hot about the
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complete opposite.
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Shoot.
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Which is a bummer, 'cause I
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thought we were on the same page
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for once.
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(Clicking tongue)
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Still very hot though.
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Yeah.
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Oh, I'm even hotter if I'm
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being honest.
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Still hot.
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Good call on these outfits,
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dude.
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It's the only call.
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You know what I mean?
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Like, you need a guy in a school
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that even from a mile away, the
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school shooter sees that guy
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and says, "uh-uh."
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"I ain't messing with that
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dude."
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"I'm not messing with that
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dude.
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I'm not going near that school."
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Macintyre: Uh, gentlemen, I
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understand that you would
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like to...
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You... how-how did you find me?
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Oh, shit, I know this dude.
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Who-who's this?
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This guy was the principal at
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the high school where I was
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doing the janitor thing.
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Yeah.
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Right, so why are you at a
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middle school now?
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Well, I was... I was
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transferred.
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See, I have tenure, so they
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couldn't actually fire me, which
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was, of course, their first
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choice, thanks to you.
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Well, let's not throw barbs
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at each other.
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Look, we're actually here for a
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good cause.
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We want to protect this school.
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Oh.
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Yeah, we want to be the armed
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security guards.
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Yeah, I brought a piece.
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We're good.
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Hey, hey, hey, no, no!
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Calm yourself.
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No, you got to put... no...
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It's not currently loaded.
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That's not the...
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Just put it away.
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I hear you, buddy.
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I would not want to be around
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this guy with a gun either.
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He has got a hair trigger.
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I mean, one little move and
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he'll just start blasting.
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Uh, bullshit.
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Look, the point is he
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shouldn't have a gun in a school
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in the first place anyway.
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No.
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Guns just do not belong in
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schools.
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No, they do not.
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That is why I brought along a
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saber.
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Aw, Jesus Christ.
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Which is just about the most
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ridiculous thing I've ever seen
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in my life, because how are you
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gonna stop a gunman with that?
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Bro...
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He's gonna get you from a
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distance.
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If I come at you, I'll get to
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you faster.
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We have been arguing about this
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all day.
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Because it's insanity.
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Ooh, maybe you can be
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the judge.
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I don't want... what?
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Here we go.
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I'm gonna holster my weapon,
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he'll holster his weapon.
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No, we, no...
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I'll do, like, a one, two,
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three count, you tell us who
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goes faster.
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Please don't do this in here.
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Look, dude, this is the only
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way to tell, okay?
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And then we can protect your
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school, but we got to go one
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step at a time, all right?
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I mean, for god's sake...
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Whoa, whoa, whoa.
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Sorry, sorry.
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Look out!
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(Gun clicking empty)
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Ah.
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I guess I do have a hair
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trigger, huh?
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Yeah.
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All right.
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Look at all these maniacs.
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Goddamn bloodthirsty freaks
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walking in off the street.
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So easy for anybody to just
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waltz in and buy a gun.
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Let's do it.
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Let's buy assault rifles and
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just prove to Mac and Charlie
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how easy it is.
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Oh, we're gonna, we're gonna.
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That's what we'll do.
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Hi, how are you, sir?
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Howdy, I'm Gunther.
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What can I do for you?
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Oh, Gunther himself, purveyor
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of destruction.
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I would like to buy a man
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destroyer from you, please.
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Yeah, nice to meet you,
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Gunther.
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Hey, maybe you could recommend
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something that could blow a hole
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through an elephant, you know.
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'Cause I need that for my home
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protection.
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Yeah.
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I guess you're looking at an
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ar-15.
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Oh, look at that.
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Yeah, that's great.
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Now, theoretically, Gunther,
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would I be able to slaughter a
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roomful of innocent people
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with that weapon?
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Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
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Brother, that'd be on you.
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That would be on me, wouldn't
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it?
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Yeah, that wouldn't be on you
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at all.
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But here you go.
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But here you go.
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But here you go.
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Okay, great, we'll take one of
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those, please.
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Yeah, we got it.
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How much would that be?
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Uh, that's $1,500.
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Woof!
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$1,500 for the privilege, okay.
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Hey, what is your, uh, what
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is your return policy there?
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30 days, no charge.
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All right.
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Ooh, 30 days, sounds fair.
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My goodness, Dennis, this feels
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good.
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Feels good in my hands.
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(Both making machine gun noises)
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Oh, good my kids are safe.
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I saved everyone!
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Yeah, my yard's protected.
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So, of course, it feels good,
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you know?
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But that only proves our point
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even more.
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We'll take two of these,
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Gunther.
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Great.
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I'll need your licenses for the
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background checks.
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00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:45,513
Okay, yeah.
292
00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:46,514
Yeah, you can drive, you can
293
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:47,515
kill!
294
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:48,516
(Both laugh)
295
00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:51,051
Oh, Christ, look at this.
296
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,185
Oh, god.
297
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,187
Oh, shit, I love this guy.
298
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:55,331
Become a bit of a local
299
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,323
lightning rod in these gun
300
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,324
debates here.
301
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,492
Exactly.
302
00:05:58,526 --> 00:05:59,703
Gun sales have skyrocketed.
303
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:01,161
We're running out of guns,
304
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,030
and we have to manufacture more
305
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,532
guns; Supply is not meeting
306
00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:05,399
the demand.
307
00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:06,400
Uncle Jack: Can we... can
308
00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:07,234
we cut?
309
00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:08,378
Will my hands look this small on
310
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:09,369
the screen?
311
00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:10,370
Uh, we're live, sir.
312
00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:11,371
I thought the camera would
313
00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:12,449
add ten pounds to my hands, and
314
00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:13,617
I don't like the way they look.
315
00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:15,042
Your hands look fine.
316
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,176
Put them down.
317
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,411
This is Jack Kelly.
318
00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:18,546
He's my attorney.
319
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:20,448
He specializes in constitutional
320
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:21,782
law.
321
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:22,783
Our rights are being
322
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:23,784
infringed upon.
323
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:24,961
And people like my client won't
324
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:26,854
take it anymore.
325
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,388
The constitution guarantees
326
00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:30,257
our second amendment rights.
327
00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:31,792
And these liberals like al Gore,
328
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,427
they're trying to take that away
329
00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:34,762
from us with this global warming
330
00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:35,863
bullshit.
331
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,465
So, you see the two issues as
332
00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:38,699
related somehow?
333
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,233
Damn right.
334
00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:41,969
The government of today has
335
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:43,403
no right telling us how to live
336
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:44,404
our lives, because the
337
00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:45,482
government of 200 years ago
338
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:46,874
already did.
339
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:47,608
Yeah.
340
00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:48,776
Oh, okay.
341
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,644
They also protected us from
342
00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:53,481
tyranny against the seizure of
343
00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:55,549
tasteful, artistic photographs
344
00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:56,917
of beautiful bodies.
345
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,318
Not now, Jack.
346
00:06:58,351 --> 00:06:59,319
That same government wants to
347
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:00,654
come into our home, tell us what
348
00:07:00,688 --> 00:07:02,456
is and what is not art?
349
00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:03,891
That's not right!
350
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:04,892
Okay, well, I'm gonna try
351
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:05,893
and, uh, keep things on track
352
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:06,594
here, so...
353
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:07,595
Yeah.
354
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:08,596
Get out and get those guns
355
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,430
before they run out, and the
356
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:12,165
government changes the laws.
357
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:12,966
(Cheering, applause)
358
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:13,967
All right! Yeah!
359
00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:15,769
These idiots are buying this?
360
00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:16,504
It's crazy.
361
00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:17,771
What is going on?
362
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:18,906
That was fast.
363
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,107
You've been denied.
364
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,108
What?
365
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:21,742
That's ludicrous.
366
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:22,776
Why?
367
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:24,111
It says here you have an
368
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:26,013
extensive history of felonious
369
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:27,515
behavior.
370
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:28,516
Oh, there have been
371
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:29,950
incidents, sure, yeah, a few
372
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,519
minor indiscretions, but,
373
00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:33,253
you know, i-I'm simply a person
374
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,254
of interest in most of those
375
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:35,255
cases, all right?
376
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,490
Being wanted and being "wanted
377
00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:38,425
for questioning" are very, very,
378
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,503
very different things, Gunther.
379
00:07:39,527 --> 00:07:40,360
And you've been
380
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:41,361
institutionalized.
381
00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:42,362
Me?
382
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:43,130
She... she... yeah.
383
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:45,132
What... I mean, one time, for
384
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:46,534
a short period of time.
385
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:47,535
That-that was against my will.
386
00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:48,536
That doesn't even really count.
387
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:49,609
That's the only time it
388
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:50,470
counts, Dee.
389
00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:51,204
Okay, look, it was, like, a
390
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:52,381
teeny thing that happened with a
391
00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:53,373
college roommate.
392
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:54,608
It was really no big deal.
393
00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:55,242
Uh, yeah.
394
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,352
Says here you burned her.
395
00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:57,010
I burned her, yeah.
396
00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:57,611
I burned her.
397
00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:58,812
But... (Laughs)
398
00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:00,447
She was so annoying.
399
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,115
I mean, it...
400
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,517
She deserved it, okay?
401
00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:04,518
She was wearing my stuff, and
402
00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:05,519
she was copying me, and...
403
00:08:05,553 --> 00:08:06,520
You were copying her.
404
00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:07,154
I was copying her, she was
405
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:07,721
copying me...
406
00:08:07,755 --> 00:08:08,656
It doesn't matter.
407
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:09,699
Look, I'm sorry, but I can't
408
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,458
sell you the guns.
409
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,059
Oh, god.
410
00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:13,126
Oh, well, look at you.
411
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,128
Oh, Gunther the morality king.
412
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:16,463
"Hi, I'm Gunther, I've never lit
413
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,965
anybody on fire before."
414
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,332
You know, you light one bitch on
415
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:21,234
fire, and everybody freaks out!
416
00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:22,335
Oh, you son of a bitch.
417
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:23,336
It was one time and one thing,
418
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:24,337
I just...
419
00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:24,905
All right, all right, all
420
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:25,505
right, relax, relax.
421
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:27,474
(Dee yells wildly)
422
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:28,308
Okay, take it easy.
423
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:28,976
Look, there are other ways to
424
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:29,710
buy guns where people don't go
425
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:31,244
snooping around in your past.
426
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:32,646
Listen, pal...
427
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,347
You just made my list.
428
00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:36,149
Your list?
429
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,250
Yeah, I have a...
430
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:38,251
Shh.
431
00:08:38,285 --> 00:08:38,919
Whatever, let's just go.
432
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:39,687
Let's go.
433
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,889
How is that tasteless?
434
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:42,923
It's art.
435
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:43,523
Get that out.
436
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:44,558
Get that out.
437
00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:45,192
You can't even see the
438
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:45,893
child...
439
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:46,727
We'll be right back.
440
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:47,561
Weather, traffic and a trip to
441
00:08:47,595 --> 00:08:49,597
the zoo, coming right up.
442
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:54,868
Okay, Charlie, I'm gonna
443
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:55,769
demonstrate to you how to thwart
444
00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:56,604
an attack.
445
00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:57,605
Mm-hmm.
446
00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:58,338
Now, pretend that this dummy
447
00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:58,906
is a school shooter.
448
00:08:58,939 --> 00:08:59,539
Right.
449
00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:00,340
I want you to stand back,
450
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,174
'cause I don't want you to get
451
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,242
hurt.
452
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:04,244
Before he can draw his weapon...
453
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:05,412
Hie-aught!
454
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:06,413
Hup, hut, hut!
455
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:08,448
Hie!
456
00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:09,850
How awesome was that?
457
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:10,618
Well, yeah, that's-that's
458
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:12,052
pretty awesome, but I feel like
459
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:12,953
he would've shot you from a mile
460
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:13,954
away.
461
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:14,955
No, no, he wouldn't, because
462
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,099
you saw how I was zigzagging
463
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:17,200
like this and making sounds?
464
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,191
It was distracting.
465
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:19,235
Yeah, but did you ever see
466
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:20,427
Indiana Jones, where the guy
467
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:21,194
does the whole sword thing and
468
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:22,029
then he just shoots him dead?
469
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:22,796
Are you asking me if I've
470
00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:23,864
seen Indiana Jones?
471
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,465
Are you seriously asking me?
472
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:26,066
I've seen that movie...
473
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:26,667
That is my...
474
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:27,534
You're not understanding.
475
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,101
Do you remember it?
476
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:29,102
Yes.
477
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:29,803
But if I were to come at you,
478
00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:30,638
it's all about how I...
479
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,039
(Gun clicking empty)
480
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,473
Okay, in that circumstance,
481
00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:34,407
maybe you got there a little bit
482
00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:34,975
faster.
483
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:35,643
I got you.
484
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:36,543
But if I...!
485
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:37,244
Okay.
486
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:37,878
I got you again.
487
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:38,746
But I... what if I zigzag
488
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,714
like this?
489
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:41,414
It's so easy to get you.
490
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:42,115
And that's... that's not
491
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,316
necessarily...
492
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:44,484
I don't think that that's...
493
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:45,585
Hold-hold on a second.
494
00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:46,787
Look at this kid.
495
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,622
Ooh, he's wearing all black,
496
00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:50,090
he's walking by himself.
497
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:50,824
What do you think he's doing
498
00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:51,659
on that phone?
499
00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:52,325
Oh, I'll tell you exactly
500
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:53,026
what he's doing.
501
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:53,661
He's playing one of those games
502
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:54,628
where you shoot everyone.
503
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:55,672
I'm gonna profile this guy
504
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:56,496
really quick.
505
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:57,130
Excuse us.
506
00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:57,665
Yeah. Hey, kid, kid, kid.
507
00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:58,498
Stop, stop.
508
00:09:58,531 --> 00:09:59,299
Son, son, I'm sorry, hold
509
00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:00,000
up, hold up. (Laughs)
510
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:00,801
What are you doing on the phone
511
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:01,802
there?
512
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:02,803
None of your business.
513
00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:03,637
(Charlie whistles)
514
00:10:03,671 --> 00:10:04,271
A sass-mouth, huh?
515
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:04,838
That's a red flag.
516
00:10:04,872 --> 00:10:05,739
Son, you were asked a
517
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:07,074
question by an adult, okay?
518
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:07,841
You've been asked a question,
519
00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:08,676
all right?
520
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:09,677
We're trying to ensafen your
521
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:10,944
school here, okay?
522
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:12,279
And you're acting like a punk?
523
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:12,913
Let me see the phone.
524
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,147
I want to see.
525
00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:15,683
Oh! He's killing zombies!
526
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:16,349
I'm taking this.
527
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:17,117
What the hell, man?
528
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:17,918
Hey, kid, you're getting off
529
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:18,919
easy!
530
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:19,619
Now get to school.
531
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:20,487
Go to school.
532
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:21,597
Just know we're watching you.
533
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:22,656
Go to class.
534
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:23,356
Be careful.
535
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:24,357
Look.
536
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:25,492
This is a red flag.
537
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:26,765
These are the kids that are the
538
00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:27,695
threats to society, the ones
539
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:28,772
playing the violent video games,
540
00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:30,130
man.
541
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,498
I play violent video games.
542
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:32,265
Well, yeah, I also play
543
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:33,633
violent video games.
544
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:34,707
I watch violent movies.
545
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:35,468
Well, yeah, violent movies
546
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:36,136
are the best movies.
547
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:36,837
And I don't want to kill
548
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:37,838
people.
549
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:38,706
No, I mean...
550
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:39,940
All right, this...
551
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:40,708
Yeah, it's not really the best
552
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:41,641
way to tell, you know, who's
553
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:42,609
gonna be a threat or who's not
554
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:43,610
gonna...
555
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:44,654
What is going on out here?
556
00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:46,346
Nothing, thanks to us, bro.
557
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:47,681
Well, are-are you stealing
558
00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:48,682
kids' cell phones?
559
00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:49,850
Stealing, sir? No.
560
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:50,960
I've been confiscating them as
561
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:51,952
potential evidence.
562
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:52,953
Are you aware that you're
563
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:53,954
holding children up with a gun
564
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:54,955
and-and a sword?
565
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:55,956
You just... you need to stay off
566
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:56,957
of school property.
567
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:57,958
Sir, we are not on the school
568
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:58,959
property, okay?
569
00:10:58,992 --> 00:10:59,727
Yeah, we're outside of the
570
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:00,728
fence by, like...
571
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:01,805
We're on the sidewalk, see?
572
00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:02,662
You need to stay 1,000 yards
573
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,464
away from school property.
574
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:05,232
I mean, we're trying to keep
575
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:06,233
the school safe!
576
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:07,234
I know, well, yeah.
577
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:08,035
Well, yeah, we would all feel a
578
00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:08,836
lot safer if you were further
579
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:09,837
away.
580
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:10,637
All right, I'm taking this
581
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,638
guy out.
582
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,639
Hey, whoa, settle!
583
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,474
Settle, settle, settle!
584
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:15,475
Settle. Settle down.
585
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,476
Would you please stop
586
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,477
pointing that gun at me?
587
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,478
(Gun clicks empty)
588
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,246
The school is safe, thanks
589
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:20,247
to us.
590
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:21,248
Here's the damn phone.
591
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:22,182
Well... please, just... if
592
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:23,050
you could just get away from the
593
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,051
school.
594
00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:25,052
Get away from the children.
595
00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:25,753
Hey!
596
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:26,686
Just-just stay away from the
597
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:27,254
children.
598
00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:28,088
Have a good day, sir.
599
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:28,688
Thank you.
600
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:29,689
Have a good day.
601
00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:30,157
Go.
602
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:30,858
We're leaving!
603
00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:31,825
We're leaving, we're leaving.
604
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:32,893
We're leaving.
605
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,261
You know, Charlie, if we
606
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:36,063
can't be in the school zone,
607
00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:37,064
maybe we need to train somebody
608
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:38,065
who can be.
609
00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:39,833
You know, someone you'd never
610
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:43,070
suspect could stop a shooter.
611
00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:45,105
I got an idea.
612
00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:56,116
And here we are, Dee, at a
613
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:57,350
gun show, huh?
614
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:58,852
Lowest common denominator.
615
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:00,220
Is that a bazooka?
616
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:01,221
Insanely dangerous, this
617
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:02,289
place is.
618
00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:03,290
It's crazy.
619
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:04,291
Oh, look at this guy right here.
620
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:05,434
He'll probably sell us a gun.
621
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:06,559
Excuse me, sir.
622
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:07,795
Um, I would like to buy a gun
623
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:08,762
from you.
624
00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:10,036
Something that is unnecessarily
625
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,731
powerful, something you would
626
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:12,809
never need in Philadelphia.
627
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:13,910
Yeah, ooh, ooh, but you know
628
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:14,902
what you shouldn't do though,
629
00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:15,903
is look into our very sketchy
630
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:16,804
pasts.
631
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:17,805
No. (Laughs)
632
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:18,806
Uh, it's not a problem.
633
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:19,940
We all got a sketchy past.
634
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:20,974
(Dennis laughs)
635
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:22,442
Oh, genuine creep. Wonderful.
636
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:23,543
Perfect.
637
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,412
Hey, sir, could you please sell
638
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:26,413
us this ar-15?
639
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:27,414
Yeah.
640
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:28,415
Uh, despite, you know, who or
641
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:29,416
what we plan to obliterate
642
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:30,417
with it.
643
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:31,418
And don't ask questions, okay?
644
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:32,419
No.
645
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:33,420
'Cause we just want to prove
646
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:34,421
to our friends how easy it is to
647
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:35,588
buy a high-capacity rifle.
648
00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:36,589
Absolutely.
649
00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:37,590
All right, man, great.
650
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:38,992
Hey, so give this guy his 1,500
651
00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:39,993
bucks, and we'll just saunter
652
00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:41,829
right out of here with a weapon
653
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:42,996
of mass extinction.
654
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:43,997
Three grand.
655
00:12:44,031 --> 00:12:44,998
What? I'm sorry.
656
00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:45,999
That's $3,000.
657
00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:47,000
No, not for this.
658
00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:48,001
No, for this, for this.
659
00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:48,768
No, no. No, no, no, no, no.
660
00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:49,769
At Gunther's it's $1,500.
661
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:50,814
(Laughs): Oh, this ain't
662
00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:51,805
Gunther's.
663
00:12:51,839 --> 00:12:52,806
This a price gouge?
664
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:53,807
Oh, my.
665
00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:54,808
That's illegal.
666
00:12:54,842 --> 00:12:55,608
Oh, you see, I'm a private
667
00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:56,609
seller.
668
00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:57,410
That means I can do whatever I
669
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:58,411
want.
670
00:12:58,445 --> 00:12:58,979
Shit.
671
00:12:59,012 --> 00:12:59,813
Fine. That's fine.
672
00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:00,647
We'll buy it, and we'll
673
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:01,281
return it.
674
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,315
All sales are final.
675
00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:03,016
Come on!
676
00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:04,251
I'll show you what's final,
677
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,252
you redneck son of a bitch!
678
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,362
I will burn you alive like the
679
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,320
last bitch who crossed me!
680
00:13:07,354 --> 00:13:08,497
Okay, all right, all right,
681
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:09,189
Dee.
682
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:09,823
That's not getting us anywhere.
683
00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:10,523
Okay, she's hot.
684
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:11,491
I went... I went hot real
685
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:12,325
fast; It just happened.
686
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:13,326
Well, our whole crew's been
687
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,094
hot lately.
688
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:14,962
We're trying to cool down, but
689
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:16,039
you're not making it any easier.
690
00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:16,930
Mm-mm.
691
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:17,764
All right, listen, I want
692
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:18,431
this gun, pal.
693
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:19,166
Okay, I want it, because it's
694
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:19,933
easy to buy a gun.
695
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:20,934
And I need to prove that to
696
00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:21,869
some people, so give me the gun
697
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,670
at a fair price, and do it now.
698
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:24,371
$4,000.
699
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:25,038
Shit!
700
00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:26,773
Four thou...? $4,000?
701
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:27,774
Really?
702
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:28,541
I'll tell you what.
703
00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:29,342
(Cocks gun)
704
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:30,878
How about I just take it, huh?
705
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:31,879
'Cause I'm a maniac with a
706
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,180
gun, and there's nothing you
707
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:34,982
can do about it. (Chuckles)
708
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:36,950
(Guns cocking)
709
00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:37,951
(Dee gasps)
710
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:39,552
Oh. Oh, oh.
711
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:40,553
Okay.
712
00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:41,554
Oh, okay.
713
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:42,555
Oops. (Laughs)
714
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:44,124
Putting the gun down now.
715
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,159
Okay, this is just a... just an
716
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:48,795
exercise, okay, to prove how
717
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,530
unsafe it is...
718
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,732
For everyone to have guns, okay?
719
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:54,801
But I see now that I was the
720
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,569
maniac with the gun.
721
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:58,838
And you all made it safer...
722
00:13:58,872 --> 00:13:59,873
In here.
723
00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:00,707
Yeah.
724
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:01,408
Good for you.
725
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:02,375
Our bad, our bad for
726
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:04,044
this experiment.
727
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:10,250
Thank you for joining us.
728
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:11,851
I know you may not see yourself
729
00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:13,253
as a solution to a
730
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:14,221
national problem.
731
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:15,722
You might not think you have
732
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:17,490
the ability, but, uh, believe
733
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,192
me, you were... you were
734
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:20,393
carefully selected.
735
00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:21,694
And with a little hard work
736
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:23,196
and a whole lot of training, we
737
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:24,497
can help you keep your
738
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:25,232
school safe.
739
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:26,533
Are there any questions?
740
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:27,834
Yo, can I get some beer?
741
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:28,435
No beer.
742
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:29,602
No. We said it, like,
743
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:30,403
a million times.
744
00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:31,680
Guys, guys, how many times do
745
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,040
we have to be through this?
746
00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:33,873
No beer, okay?
747
00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:34,918
All right, you know, you
748
00:14:34,942 --> 00:14:35,708
can't drink beer and be
749
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:36,409
effective.
750
00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:37,844
But you guys had, like, five.
751
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,346
Don't count beers, Carlos.
752
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,213
Not cool.
753
00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:41,457
Yeah. And by the way, Carlos,
754
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:42,749
I've had six.
755
00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:44,251
And I've had seven.
756
00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:45,685
So don't be a rat, okay?
757
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,454
And if you are gonna be a
758
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:48,688
rat, get it right.
759
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:49,923
No more questions.
760
00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:51,058
In fact, no more questions.
761
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:52,359
You guys are the ones that
762
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:53,260
asked for the questions.
763
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:54,427
Shut up, Carlos!
764
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:56,063
Carlos, shut up!
765
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:56,930
The time for questions
766
00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:57,864
is over.
767
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:58,865
It's now time for learning.
768
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,300
Okay? You're-you're impeding
769
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:01,701
on your own safety.
770
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,236
Okay, now my friend and I
771
00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:04,972
have been arguing all day about
772
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:06,974
the efficacy of swords
773
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,408
versus guns.
774
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:09,776
Okay? So we met in
775
00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:10,377
the middle.
776
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,644
Now if you look under your
777
00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,046
seat, you'll see that each of
778
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,257
you has been provided a weapon
779
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:16,049
that you could easily find in
780
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:17,417
your own classroom.
781
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:18,885
Some of you may have
782
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,988
compasses, others,
783
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,055
sharp pencils.
784
00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:22,956
Okay, there are forks in
785
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:24,958
the cafeteria, there's piano
786
00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:26,826
wire from the music room.
787
00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,795
You need to learn how to make
788
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,163
every single item in your
789
00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:31,164
school a potentially
790
00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:32,132
life-threatening weapon.
791
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,100
Look at the person
792
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:33,933
sitting next to you.
793
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:35,135
That person wants to take
794
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:36,069
you out.
795
00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:37,004
Guys, safety is the name
796
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:37,971
of the game.
797
00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:38,972
It's all about safety.
798
00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:39,906
Let's take it slow.
799
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,084
We're gonna take this in a
800
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,010
safe and orderly fashion.
801
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:45,912
Are you ready to begin?
802
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:46,613
Okay.
803
00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:48,115
And, guys, let's have
804
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:50,150
a little fun.
805
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:53,153
(Kids yelling)
806
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,154
Shut it, shut it, shut it!
807
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,022
Those-those kids are maniacs!
808
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,165
Oh, my god, I think they're
809
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:57,200
all in gangs or something!
810
00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:58,301
There's a lot of score settling
811
00:15:58,325 --> 00:15:59,192
going on in there!
812
00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:00,427
Oh, yeah, dude, we created
813
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,361
a hunger games-type scenario
814
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:02,029
in there.
815
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:03,130
Imagine if they had guns!
816
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:04,264
Oh, it'd be a disaster!
817
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:04,964
An absolute disaster!
818
00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:05,965
These kids are all too violent.
819
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,110
It's, like, ingrained in them
820
00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:07,800
or something.
821
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:08,944
Oh, my god, dude, we've been
822
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:09,936
singing the wrong tune.
823
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:10,803
Society is getting more savage.
824
00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:11,938
We need to get the weapons
825
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:12,705
out of their hands!
826
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:13,706
Maybe we should call the
827
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:14,950
cops, the only people who should
828
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:15,542
have guns!
829
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:16,176
They got to come in here,
830
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:17,044
they got to calm this down!
831
00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:17,877
(Door banging)
832
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:19,150
Oh! Oh, shit, Charlie, I got
833
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,380
to admit something, dude.
834
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:21,514
I'm bleeding pretty bad.
835
00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:22,949
One of the kids got you?
836
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,384
I nicked myself back in the
837
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,494
principal's office just trying
838
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:26,519
to unholster my weapon.
839
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:27,220
Jesus, man.
840
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:28,397
I didn't want to say anything
841
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:29,522
'cause it was a little bit
842
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:29,989
embarrassing.
843
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:30,990
(Door bangs)
844
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:32,325
All right, can I go to
845
00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:32,959
the hospital?
846
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:33,526
Yeah, let's go.
847
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,129
Go, go, go, go, go.
848
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:37,397
Frank (Over radio): First
849
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:38,565
they disarm us, then they
850
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:39,332
oppress us.
851
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:40,833
So I want you to get
852
00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:42,735
every gun you can buy and bring
853
00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:45,572
it to 17th and jfk, and we're
854
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,340
gonna march on city hall.
855
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:49,342
And bring whatever guests
856
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:51,211
you want, regardless of age or
857
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:52,212
whatever restriction the
858
00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:53,346
government puts on our
859
00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:54,547
expression of beauty.
860
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:55,548
Just get the guns and bring
861
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:56,549
them down to city hall.
862
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:57,550
Well, you better believe I'll
863
00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:58,551
be there.
864
00:16:58,585 --> 00:16:59,152
I know you'll be there.
865
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:00,153
Bring your kid.
866
00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:01,154
You have kids?
867
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:03,056
Yes, of course, of course.
868
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:04,224
Bring them.
869
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:04,991
I mean, come on.
870
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,035
He's really going off the deep
871
00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:06,459
end, Dee.
872
00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:07,160
I don't know.
873
00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:08,061
I hate to admit it, Dennis, but
874
00:17:08,095 --> 00:17:09,062
he's got a point, you know.
875
00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:10,063
It doesn't seem like it's all
876
00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:11,064
that easy to buy an assault
877
00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:11,664
rifle.
878
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:12,665
No, no, no, no, no.
879
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:13,666
Don't you start with that shit,
880
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:14,234
Dee.
881
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:15,235
Well, I'm sorry.
882
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:16,236
It is incredibly easy to buy
883
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:17,237
an assault rifle, and I'm gonna
884
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:18,438
prove to you how easy it is
885
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:19,439
right now.
886
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:20,440
Okay, here comes our guy.
887
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:23,343
Mm, mm. No.
888
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:24,611
Hi.
889
00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:25,912
Uh, you got my money?
890
00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:26,913
(Scoffs) You got my
891
00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:27,914
people-killer?
892
00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:28,915
Right here.
893
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:29,916
Oh, ho, ho, ho.
894
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:31,050
That's the stuff, baby.
895
00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:32,452
Now, I got $1,500, which is the
896
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:34,087
fair asking price.
897
00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:36,889
I hope that's okay.
898
00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:38,125
Yeah. Give it to me.
899
00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:40,059
All right. There you go.
900
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,237
All right, now, I'm not really
901
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,229
totally comfortable rolling the
902
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:43,230
window down.
903
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,231
I'm sure you understand why, so
904
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:45,232
I'm just gonna pop the trunk and
905
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:46,233
you can, uh, you can throw it
906
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:47,234
in there, all right?
907
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,067
Back there?
908
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:49,068
Yeah.
909
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:50,069
In the trunk?
910
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:50,637
Yeah.
911
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:51,638
Okay, I got you.
912
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:52,639
You see how easy that is,
913
00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:53,640
Dee?
914
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:55,108
You just give a man $1,500 and
915
00:17:55,142 --> 00:17:56,109
he gives you an assault rifle.
916
00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:57,110
Uh-oh. Ooh, ooh. Ooh, ooh.
917
00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:58,111
What? Where's he going?
918
00:17:58,145 --> 00:17:59,112
Well, he appears to be
919
00:17:59,146 --> 00:18:00,113
sauntering off.
920
00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:00,980
Well, don't do... no.
921
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:01,981
Well, sir, I gave you the
922
00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:03,082
$1,500.
923
00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:04,083
Don't saunter away. I'm try...
924
00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:05,084
That's not fair!
925
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,085
No, it's not fair!
926
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,086
You stop right now!
927
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,588
Listen, you stop in your tracks!
928
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:09,656
Uh, Dennis, go stop him.
929
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,324
Denni... go stop...?
930
00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:12,325
The man has an assault rifle!
931
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:13,326
What am I supposed to do?!
932
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:14,327
Shit!
933
00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:15,328
I can't buy one!
934
00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:16,329
The only thing that stops a
935
00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:17,330
bad guy with a gun is a good guy
936
00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:19,332
with a gun, which we can't get!
937
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:20,800
Goddamn son of a bitch frank,
938
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:21,801
you were right!
939
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:22,969
Frank was right!
940
00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:23,570
Shit!
941
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:26,173
(Tires screech)
942
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,174
(Door opens)
943
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:28,074
Where's frank? We're hot.
944
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,176
We're coming in super hot!
945
00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:30,009
Where is frank?!
946
00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:30,610
Oh, you guys hot?
947
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:31,278
You guys are still hot?
948
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:32,179
The whole thing's hot, man!
949
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:33,180
Oh, yeah, I'm burning up
950
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:34,181
right now!
951
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:35,182
It's a crazy situation!
952
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:36,416
We're on your side now!
953
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:37,617
We got to get these guns off
954
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:38,618
the streets!
955
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:39,619
Boo-yah!
956
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:40,620
Wait, what? No, no.
957
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:41,621
Off the streets?
958
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:42,622
What are you, crazy?
959
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:43,832
We need the guns on the streets!
960
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:44,824
Everyone needs to have guns!
961
00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:45,825
We need to flood the streets
962
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:46,826
with guns!
963
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:47,827
To stay safe.
964
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:48,828
Aw, shit.
965
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,197
I mean, I think, uh...
966
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:51,198
You know, I think we crossed
967
00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:52,199
right past each other like ships
968
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:53,200
in the night, man.
969
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:53,833
We flip-flopped.
970
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:54,801
Yeah, 'cause we're on the
971
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:55,802
opposite side now.
972
00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:56,803
That side makes no more sense
973
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:57,804
to me.
974
00:18:57,837 --> 00:18:58,805
If we could've just met up,
975
00:18:58,838 --> 00:18:59,406
like, two hours ago...
976
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:00,373
Oh, oh, there's frank.
977
00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:01,374
Hey, frank!
978
00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:02,485
Frank, is that a box of guns?
979
00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:03,476
What is that?
980
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:04,877
Guns? No.
981
00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:06,946
Water filters.
982
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,147
Water filters?
983
00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:09,516
All right, guys, load 'em in.
984
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:10,683
Very nice.
985
00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:11,684
Hey, frank, why do you have a
986
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:12,685
truck full of water filters?
987
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:13,686
Uh, you know what, I don't give
988
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:14,687
a shit.
989
00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:15,688
Let's get down to that rally,
990
00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:16,289
man.
991
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:17,123
Rally?
992
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:17,724
Yeah.
993
00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:18,291
Yes, the freedom rally.
994
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:19,292
The one you organized.
995
00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:20,293
Ooh, shit, I'm not gonna go
996
00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:21,294
down there.
997
00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:22,295
It's gonna be a bunch of nuts
998
00:19:22,329 --> 00:19:23,296
with guns.
999
00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:24,297
Too dangerous.
1000
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:25,298
Wait, hold on a second.
1001
00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:26,132
What's going on?
1002
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,133
I thought you were into guns.
1003
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,134
You know, why have you been on
1004
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,135
TV talking about all that shit?
1005
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,136
I bought a stake in Gunther's
1006
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,137
guns.
1007
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,138
I got everybody angry and
1008
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,139
scared.
1009
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,140
They bought the guns, I made a
1010
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,141
fortune.
1011
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,319
Oh, my god. This is crazy.
1012
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:37,310
So you don't give a shit about
1013
00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:38,311
the gun issue at all?
1014
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:39,312
Uh, uh...
1015
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:40,313
I mean, what the hell?
1016
00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:41,314
You're like the nra.
1017
00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:42,315
Yeah, a little bit like
1018
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:43,316
the nra.
1019
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:44,317
Little tiny bit.
1020
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:45,918
But i-i think of myself more
1021
00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:47,153
like al Gore.
1022
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,154
You know, he got everybody
1023
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,822
worked up over global warming.
1024
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:51,258
Then he made millions.
1025
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,359
Huh?!
1026
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:53,826
Yeah. Everybody does it.
1027
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,228
Liberals, conservatives, doesn't
1028
00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:56,229
matter.
1029
00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:57,230
This is America: You're either a
1030
00:19:57,264 --> 00:19:59,399
duper or a dupee.
1031
00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:00,533
I'm a duper.
1032
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,535
You guys are the dupees.
1033
00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:04,170
I got to go.
1034
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:07,173
Where you going now?
1035
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,741
With us now is local
1036
00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:10,176
community activist, frank
1037
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,378
Reynolds, with a terrifying
1038
00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:12,379
statistic.
1039
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:13,380
Frank?
1040
00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:15,014
Yes. Thank you, Chet.
1041
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,015
You're welcome.
1042
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,885
Do you know that 90% of your
1043
00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:21,388
water is 100% toxins?
1044
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,356
Who knows what the other 10% is?
1045
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,357
It's probably far worse, I
1046
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:25,358
would imagine.
1047
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:26,359
It's really worse.
1048
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,194
I have a water filter for you
1049
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,229
that you need to put in every
1050
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:31,798
single home.
1051
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:32,799
It will protect you and your
1052
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:34,434
entire family.
1053
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:35,478
You can even give that water to
1054
00:20:35,502 --> 00:20:36,969
your babies.
1055
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,271
Wow.
1056
00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:40,239
Well, babies, look out, because
1057
00:20:40,273 --> 00:20:41,441
this next segment is just for
1058
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:42,642
you.
1059
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:43,776
Don't turn that channel.
1060
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,312
Your life may depend upon it.
1061
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:46,379
Got to give it to him.
1062
00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:47,314
He is good.
1063
00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:48,315
That son of a bitch.
1064
00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:49,316
Goddamn.
1065
00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:50,317
Yeah.
1066
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:51,318
(Dee sighs)
1067
00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:52,319
I think I'm gonna get one of
1068
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:53,320
those water filters.
1069
00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:54,321
I do kind of want one, right?
1070
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:55,322
For safety, for safety.
1071
00:20:55,355 --> 00:20:56,323
I mean, he does make some
1072
00:20:56,356 --> 00:20:57,324
good points.
1073
00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:57,924
Yeah.
1074
00:20:57,957 --> 00:20:58,925
The water's toxic.
1075
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:00,493
I mean, it is. Yeah.
1076
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:04,597
Captioned by
1077
00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:05,598
media access group at wgbh
1078
00:21:05,632 --> 00:21:08,335
access.Wgbh.Org
1079
00:21:36,663 --> 00:21:39,632
(trio chanting backwards)
65312
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