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* it's how you lie to me
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(Dee chewing noisily, moaning)
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* when I'm too blind to see
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and how you used the love
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I give you... *
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Charlie: Dee, what are
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you doing?
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Dee: I'm eating cake.
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I can see that you're
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eating cake, but that's frank's
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cake from, like, a month ago.
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I threw that in the trash!
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Dennis: Oh, my god.
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Seriously?
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Yes!
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Dee, you're eating
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trash cake and smoking?
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I mean, you know what
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you look like?
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You look like...
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Like a bird?
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Yeah. Yeah, of course you
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look like a bird.
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Yeah.
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You always look like a bird.
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But I was gonna say, uh,
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you look like a...
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Like a, like a bird lady
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covered in bird shit
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eating cake?
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Dee, slow down, all right?
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Yeah. Let the man do this.
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Let me do my thing.
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You're jumping on my thing here.
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Mac: You know what she
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looks like?
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She looks like a bird
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that has no...
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A bird with no tits
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and no ass?
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Dee, let us handle...
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Yeah.
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Frank: I got one, I got one.
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Go, go, go, go, go, go!
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She looks like...
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Like a bird.
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That was it.
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Was that it?
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Ah...
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That was it.
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See? That would have
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been funny, Dee.
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Right. Yeah, Dee, don't...
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What are you doing?
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You know, that's not fun.
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Stop. Stop whatever this is.
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I don't like it.
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I'm sorry, you guys.
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I'm sorry.
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Don't apologize.
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That's just sad.
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Fight back at us.
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What's the point?
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The joke's always on me,
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all right?
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I get it.
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Yeah, but it's no fun
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unless you fight back.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, I'm just gonna go home.
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Good, go home.
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I hope you, uh...
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You hope I get hit by a bus?
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Dee, come on, that's...
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What difference does it make?
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I can't get any lower than
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I am already.
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I might as well just throw
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myself in front of a bus
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though, because I'm so ugly
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I can't even get a bus
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to hit on me.
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Well.
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Geez.
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What the hell was that
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all about?
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I'll tell you exactly what
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that was.
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(Dee moaning)
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* there's a diamond ring...
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(Door opens)
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Dee? Dee, are you dead?
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Did you kill yourself,
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Dee, or...?
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Ah.
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Dee, why is your door
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unlocked?
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Do you realize how unsafe
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that is?
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Mm-hmm.
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Okay, Dee, this is
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truly pathetic, and you are
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really bringing us down,
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so we're gonna help you out.
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We realize we may be in some
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ways responsible for the
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state you're in.
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Mm, let's not...
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Yeah, all right, so we got an
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idea though, okay?
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We're gonna sign you up for an
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open mic night at a
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comedy club!
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Yes.
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Right? That's your thing!
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And we're actually gonna support
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you, Dee.
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And now that you don't care
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anymore, you're not gonna
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gag on stage.
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Yeah, you know, you're right
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in that sweet spot between,
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like, suicidal and actually
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dead, where most comedians,
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they thrive there.
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Yeah, what was that thing you
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said about how the joke's always
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on you?
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That could be a catchphrase.
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Dee, look, I don't want to
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pile on here, 'cause you're
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clearly very close to killing
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yourself...
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Yeah.
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But I got to say, I
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totally disagree with the guys
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on this.
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I'm glad you've given up.
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And I want to propose something
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totally different: I would like
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to find you a man.
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Come on.
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Yeah. A man to settle
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down with.
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Now, I'm not talking about a
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smart man, not-not
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a handsome man,
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but a very, very average if not
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below average man to take you
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off of our hands forever.
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Yeah, okay. Go ahead.
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Go with it.
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Go with it?
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Which one?
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You were not clear.
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The thing. Whatever. Both.
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I don't care.
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Let's-let's do my plan.
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The comedy plan.
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Let's do our plan.
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We're gonna do the comedy plan,
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all right?
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Meh.
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(Breathing into microphone)
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(Hushed): Dude, she is gonna
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bomb so hard, and then she's
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gonna feel worse.
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(Hushed): It's okay, dude.
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She'll tell a couple jokes, and
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then we'll, like, fake laugh
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and stuff, you know?
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And tomorrow we can shit
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on her.
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And she'll fight back and
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be happy again.
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Say something!
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(Listlessly): I decided
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to stop showering.
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(Frank laughs)
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Too much, frank, too much.
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That's...
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There was no joke told.
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I just figured,
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"what's the point?
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I'm just a filthy person."
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I passed out at the park the
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other day, and a couple of kids
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wrote, "wash me" in the filth
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on my vagina.
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(Laughter)
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Gross.
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That was kind of funny, man.
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That was kind of funny.
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It was so gross.
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It was gross.
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Yeah, but that guy over
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there laughed.
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I guess, joke's on me.
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(Laughter)
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There's the catchphrase.
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Yeah, yeah! Ca...
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Yeah, that's like a ca...
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This is ridiculous.
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I'm gonna go select some men
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for Dee.
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This is a waste of time.
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Um, I stepped in front of a
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bus, but it missed me.
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I can't even get a bus
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to hit on me.
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(Laughter)
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People are laughing!
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We love it!
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For real.
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For real?
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Yeah!
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Knock, knock, knock.
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Can we say hi? There she is!
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Comedy star.
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Dee, so funny.
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Really funny.
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Oh, my god, so funny.
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Great! It was
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absolutely great!
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You did the bus joke, and it
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was like...
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They loved the catchphrase.
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They loved the catchphrase!
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And think about this, Dee.
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You didn't even gag once.
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Not one dry heave, nothing.
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I guess I did pretty good.
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Yeah, great!
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"Pretty good," she said!
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Dee, it was one of those shows
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where you're, like, "whoa!"
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Oh, my goodness.
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And then your brain
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goes (Makes explosion sound).
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All right, guys,
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will you stop, okay?
242
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You're not helping.
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Please, go get a drink,
244
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all right?
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Give us a second.
246
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I need to talk to Dee.
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We tried.
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Yeah, you tried.
249
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That was it.
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Thanks, guys.
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All right, listen,
252
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listen to me.
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Your set tonight was terrible.
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It was atrocious.
255
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Every single thing that came
256
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out of your mouth was trash.
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It was filth. It was disgusting.
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That's what really happened,
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okay?
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I want to be very clear
261
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about this.
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Now, listen, I brought some men
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for you to look at, all right?
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I've got some selections.
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Now, they're not great.
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They're not, they're not anybody
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to brag about, but, uh, you
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know, they're men.
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And they're probably willing to
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spend their life with you, so...
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Uh, hey, uh, sorry
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to interrupt.
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My name's snyder, and I'm
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a talent scout.
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And I just caught your last set.
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You were hilarious.
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So I just wanted to give you
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my card.
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Give me a call.
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No, she will not be calling
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you, sir, okay?
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Please do not encourage her.
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Get out of here.
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You're-you're interrupting my
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work, all right?
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You're not on my list
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of chosen men.
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Why would you be?
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What are you...?
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Christ.
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What are you doing?
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Why would you do that?
293
00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:05,032
Come on, Dee.
294
00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:05,999
That guy clearly just lurks
295
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:06,867
around these places pretending
296
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,268
to be a talent scout so he
297
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:09,269
can hit on women.
298
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:10,346
Now look-look at my selects,
299
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,171
all right?
300
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,272
Look at these guys, huh?
301
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:13,106
(Dee gasps)
302
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,041
Yeah, I know.
303
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:15,218
This one's just, like, one
304
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:15,876
big chin.
305
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:17,020
Well, I didn't have a lot
306
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:17,711
to work with.
307
00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:18,846
You know, here we are,
308
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:19,613
and look at you.
309
00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:20,748
I mean, for Christ's sakes,
310
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:21,449
look.
311
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:22,282
Okay, I'm sorry.
312
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:23,383
Look, I want this to work,
313
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:24,117
I really do.
314
00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:25,385
So I know I can do better,
315
00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:26,053
all right?
316
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:27,096
Can you do better, all right?
317
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,131
I'm gonna be at your house
318
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:29,265
tomorrow morning, 10:00 A.M.
319
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,090
Have some new candidates
320
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,024
for you to look at, all right?
321
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:31,625
Okay.
322
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:32,526
This is gonna work.
323
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:33,694
This is not gonna work.
324
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:34,695
Let's get you cleaned up,
325
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:35,395
all right?
326
00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:36,606
God, everything you did tonight
327
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,599
was so gross.
328
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:44,071
Oh! What is this?
329
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:44,772
Dee, open up! Open!
330
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:45,606
You're locking your door
331
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:46,306
all of sudden?
332
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:47,140
What is that? Come on.
333
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:48,108
You care all of a sudden?
334
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:48,742
What? What?
335
00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:49,543
Hey, let me in.
336
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,410
I got selections for you.
337
00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:51,278
Now's not a good time.
338
00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:52,145
I'm right in the middle
339
00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:52,780
of something.
340
00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:53,714
They're good selections.
341
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:54,615
Hey, it's the time I said,
342
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:55,583
so it's the time it'll be.
343
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,084
Now let me in. I got selects.
344
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:57,985
I don't care about
345
00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:58,652
your selects.
346
00:06:58,686 --> 00:06:59,319
Go!
347
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:00,153
What are you doing?
348
00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:00,954
Are you hiding something?
349
00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:01,589
No.
350
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:02,389
Is someone in there?
351
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,433
No, no. Don't worry about it.
352
00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:04,634
Let me in or I'll barge in.
353
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:05,669
Hey, everything all right
354
00:07:05,693 --> 00:07:06,594
over there, Dee?
355
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:07,895
Yeah, it's fine.
356
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,930
Oh, no.
357
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,499
Dee, oh... oh!
358
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:12,566
Snyder?
359
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:13,266
Mm-hmm.
360
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:14,234
He's clearly using you.
361
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,411
Or you're using him to further
362
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,770
your nonexistent career.
363
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:17,771
I am not using him.
364
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:18,772
Oh, you're not using him?
365
00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:19,439
Nope.
366
00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:20,307
Oh, good, good, good, good.
367
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:21,008
So, you like him?
368
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:21,642
Mm-hmm.
369
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:22,643
Find him attractive?
370
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:23,644
Absolutely.
371
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:24,645
Describe the ways in which
372
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:25,646
you find him attractive.
373
00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:26,647
(Dee scoffs)
374
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,082
He's got... he's got all of
375
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,918
his skin, still.
376
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:31,952
Well, I would hope so.
377
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:35,489
And that he has plenty of...
378
00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:36,490
Teeth to get...
379
00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:37,658
But not all of them?
380
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:38,826
No, not all of them.
381
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:39,960
Hmm.
382
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,170
Dee, why can't you see that this
383
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:42,429
is the same pattern that you
384
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,697
always fall into?
385
00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:44,865
Some guy uses you or you
386
00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:45,699
use him.
387
00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:46,843
And then you know what happens?
388
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,135
It's use, use, use, fail, fail,
389
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:49,212
fail, and then it's suicide.
390
00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:50,276
You think you can't go any
391
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,271
lower?
392
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,272
Because you can.
393
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,473
Oh, yeah?
394
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:54,975
Well, he got me another gig for
395
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:55,976
tonight, boner.
396
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:57,286
What do you think of about that?
397
00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,047
(Making goofy noises)
398
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,148
What-what is that?
399
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,149
What are you... what are you
400
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:03,150
doing?
401
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:04,351
Sound effects.
402
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:06,319
Oh, goddamn, Dee.
403
00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:08,188
You have no idea what's funny.
404
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:09,523
Don't do sound effects.
405
00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:11,391
(Dee making goofy noises)
406
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:12,502
Don't do... don't... wh-what...
407
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:14,494
Oh, oh, oh.
408
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:20,834
Hey, hey, hey! Oh!
409
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,011
Hey, Dennis, oh, check this
410
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:22,870
place out.
411
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:23,904
This is legit.
412
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,048
Dude, dude, Dee's opening
413
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:26,039
for landslide.
414
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:27,183
That guy's, like, the real deal.
415
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:28,175
I've never heard of him.
416
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:29,176
Mostly diarrhea jokes.
417
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:30,177
Yeah, he's the diarrhea guy,
418
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,178
but it look-looks like this
419
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:32,179
comedy stuff's paying off for
420
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:33,180
her.
421
00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:34,014
Yeah, well...
422
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,015
Hey, you don't get a gig like
423
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:36,016
this by accident.
424
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:37,017
Oh, come on, don't get too
425
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,018
excited, all right?
426
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:39,062
She got the gig 'cause she's
427
00:08:39,086 --> 00:08:40,053
banging some creep.
428
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:41,054
It's not gonna go well.
429
00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:42,055
Who's the nerd?
430
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:43,056
Who, this guy? This is Walt.
431
00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:44,233
Yeah, guy's got no self-esteem,
432
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:45,325
just like Dee, so they're
433
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,426
perfect for each other.
434
00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:47,671
So after she bombs tonight, I'll
435
00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:48,862
put them together, thereby
436
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:49,939
controlling the situation, and
437
00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:51,699
her, as I always have and I
438
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:53,100
always will.
439
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:54,534
What?
440
00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:56,704
Uh... Walt, just Walt-Walt's
441
00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:57,705
the plan.
442
00:08:57,738 --> 00:08:58,706
I'm Walt.
443
00:08:58,739 --> 00:08:59,707
Yeah, shut up, Walt.
444
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:00,708
They know who you are.
445
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:01,709
I'm sorry.
446
00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:02,710
Ladies and gentlemen, sweet
447
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:04,077
Dee Reynolds!
448
00:09:04,111 --> 00:09:06,079
(Crowd cheering)
449
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,784
Sweet Dee!
450
00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:12,786
(Breathing into microphone)
451
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,257
Sweet Dee, joke's on you!
452
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,759
(Laughter)
453
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:19,860
She's got fans now?
454
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,194
Christ, come on.
455
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,296
So I finally broke down and I
456
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:26,133
took a shower the other day.
457
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:27,801
The stink flipped around and now
458
00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:30,470
my soap smells like dirty vag.
459
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:31,471
(Laughter)
460
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:32,806
She said "vagina."
461
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,107
A woman said "vagina."
462
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:35,709
That's what makes it funny!
463
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:36,710
Tasteless.
464
00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:38,712
(Robot voice): Vagina,
465
00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:39,780
vagina.
466
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,114
Vagina, vagina.
467
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:42,716
(Laughter)
468
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,418
(Making fart noises)
469
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:46,562
And the sound effects out of
470
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,554
absolutely nowhere, no setup.
471
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,555
But it's funny!
472
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,556
It's not funny, it's not
473
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,557
funny.
474
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:51,558
It's funny, Dennis.
475
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:52,559
What are you doing?
476
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:53,560
Will you stop laughing, Walt?
477
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,561
Oh, my god, this is the worst.
478
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:55,562
People will laugh at absolutely
479
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:56,563
anything.
480
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,564
This is comedy?
481
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:58,999
(Laughter)
482
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:01,735
So, men are just so hard.
483
00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:03,303
Tell you what, they all walk
484
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:04,437
out on me.
485
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:06,139
Every one of them.
486
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:08,408
I can't even keep crabs in this
487
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,509
vagina.
488
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:10,944
(Laughter)
489
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:12,245
They're all like, "clickety
490
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,246
clackety, clickety clackety,
491
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,347
clickety clackety clack.
492
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:16,283
I got to get out of here!"
493
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:18,151
(Robot voice): Evacuate vagina.
494
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:19,195
"Clickety clackety, clickety..."
495
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:22,455
(Making machine gun noises)
496
00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:23,456
The crabs have machine guns.
497
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:24,457
That makes sense.
498
00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:26,159
All right, well, that's it
499
00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:27,194
for me tonight.
500
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,296
I'd like to say it was fun, but
501
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:30,297
I've had a better time ripping
502
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:31,498
out my own pubes.
503
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:33,000
Shellac, shellac, rip!
504
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,368
(Yelling wildly)
505
00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:37,037
Ping, ping, ping, ow!
506
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,038
(Laughter)
507
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,606
Okay, you guys, well, I'm sweet
508
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,675
Dee, and the joke's on me!
509
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:43,811
(Crowd cheering)
510
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:44,945
What is going on?
511
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,213
This is unbelievable.
512
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:47,347
Let's give it up for
513
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:48,716
landslide!
514
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:51,985
(Crowd cheering)
515
00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:53,821
Well, that was a funny white
516
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,622
bitch, wasn't it? (Laughs)
517
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,024
Skinny though.
518
00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:58,792
I took bigger dumps than her.
519
00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:00,828
(Making fart noises)
520
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:03,130
(Laughter)
521
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,365
It's a landslide!
522
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:06,466
Oh, my god.
523
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,368
I bet his diarrhea is nasty!
524
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:10,303
Nasty!
525
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,338
Oh, butts, vaginas and
526
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:12,339
diarrhea, great.
527
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:13,340
This is what the world's
528
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:14,908
come to.
529
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:16,076
(Charlie laughing)
530
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:17,510
Hey, hey.
531
00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:18,578
You're on the list?
532
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:19,823
The list? I'm-I'm sweet Dee's
533
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:20,814
brother, so we're good.
534
00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:21,815
Can't let you back there
535
00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:22,816
unless you're on the list.
536
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:23,817
We got to be on that list.
537
00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:24,818
This is fantastic.
538
00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:25,819
I'm not on a list for a place
539
00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:26,820
that I don't want to be.
540
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:27,921
You know how that feels?
541
00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:30,157
Hey, Dee? Dee?
542
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,892
Uh, don't play this game, Dee.
543
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:33,360
I-i... we're five feet away from
544
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:34,361
you, I know you hear...
545
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:35,362
Deandra.
546
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,363
Dee. Dee.
547
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:37,364
Da.
548
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:38,365
Da.
549
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:39,366
Da.
550
00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:40,367
Dah.
551
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:41,368
Dah.
552
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:43,370
Dah. Dah.
553
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:44,371
Dee. Dee.
554
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:45,873
(All chanting different
555
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:48,541
(pronunciations of "Dee")
556
00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:49,542
Yes, yes, yes. What? What?
557
00:11:49,576 --> 00:11:50,543
Oh, hey.
558
00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:51,544
Hi. What?
559
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:52,545
Hey, Dee, can we come back
560
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:53,546
there with you?
561
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:54,547
Yeah, hey, we're, like,
562
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:55,548
you're biggest fans, like, great
563
00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:56,549
show, like, good job, like,
564
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:57,550
shut up, I'm sorry.
565
00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:58,551
We're gonna start a fan club.
566
00:11:58,585 --> 00:11:59,552
Oh, come on, stop kissing her
567
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:00,387
ass.
568
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:01,388
Dee, enough of this, okay?
569
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:02,389
Step over the rope and come meet
570
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:03,390
Walt.
571
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:04,391
Tell you what.
572
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:05,392
You three, you're in.
573
00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:06,393
Dennis, you're out.
574
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,394
Go before she changes her
575
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:08,395
mind, go.
576
00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:09,396
Hey! Faced! Thanks, Dee.
577
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:10,397
Dee, who do you think you
578
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:11,398
are?
579
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:12,399
What is the matter with you,
580
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:13,233
Dennis?
581
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:14,234
You see them?
582
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:15,235
They're supporting me, okay?
583
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:16,636
Because they believe in me.
584
00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:17,805
A fan club could really help
585
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:19,106
further my career.
586
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:20,640
Career? Oh, wow, Dee.
587
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:21,909
See, you don't have a career.
588
00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:22,986
All right? So I need you to stop
589
00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:24,077
all this right now.
590
00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:25,145
It's gone too far.
591
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:26,146
Now, come meet Walt.
592
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:27,214
He is my select.
593
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,215
You know what I think this is
594
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,216
about, Dennis?
595
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,217
I think you're jealous.
596
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,218
I don't think you want me to
597
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,052
succeed.
598
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,053
Dee, let me be very clear
599
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,054
about something.
600
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,655
You will never succeed.
601
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:36,990
Ever.
602
00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:38,458
Instead, you will fly too close
603
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:39,602
to the sun, and you will choke
604
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:40,727
and you will gag in a
605
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:41,995
spectacular manner.
606
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:43,306
So, please, for the love of god,
607
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:44,297
take Walt.
608
00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:45,298
Hi, I'm Walt.
609
00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:46,299
She knows your goddamn name,
610
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:47,300
Walt; I said it, like, a
611
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:48,135
thousand times.
612
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:49,136
Look, you know what?
613
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:50,137
I don't want to be with Walt,
614
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:50,971
okay?
615
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:51,972
And I don't want you to find me
616
00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:52,973
a man.
617
00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:54,150
What I need you to do is stay
618
00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:56,243
out of my way, because sweet Dee
619
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,211
is gonna be a star.
620
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:01,949
(Making machine gun noises)
621
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,951
(Laughter)
622
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:05,953
*
623
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,860
Oh.
624
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:29,877
(Crowd cheering)
625
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:30,878
All right!
626
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:32,880
Here, buddy, everyone else.
627
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:34,547
(Laughter)
628
00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:37,784
(Making machine gun noises)
629
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,486
Right, I'm sweet Dee, and the
630
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,054
joke's on me!
631
00:13:41,088 --> 00:13:43,356
Thank you very much.
632
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:44,391
Good night.
633
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,393
(Crowd cheering wildly)
634
00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:50,573
I don't care that you only have
635
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:51,564
one mic.
636
00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:52,565
Look at me!
637
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:53,566
Dee Reynolds does not use mics
638
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:54,902
that other so-called comedians
639
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:56,303
have spit into, okay?
640
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,837
So get another one.
641
00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:58,972
Dee Reynolds?
642
00:13:59,006 --> 00:13:59,973
Mm-hmm.
643
00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:00,974
Hi, I'm Michael rotenberg.
644
00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:01,975
I'm a talent manager from los
645
00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:02,976
Angeles.
646
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:04,053
I've heard a lot about you.
647
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:05,212
Oh, hi. Well...
648
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:06,255
I've got a proposition for
649
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:07,247
you.
650
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,248
One of my bigger clients is
651
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:09,249
supposed to do conan tomorrow
652
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:10,426
night, and something came up.
653
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:11,818
They need to fill the spot,
654
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,220
and I brought your name up.
655
00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:14,654
Are you interested?
656
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,823
Conan o...
657
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:17,857
Conan o'brien?
658
00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:18,858
Yeah.
659
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:19,859
I would love to represent you,
660
00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:20,860
too; I think you're amazing.
661
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,095
I can fly you to L.A. tomorrow
662
00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:23,272
on my private jet, and we can go
663
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:24,264
straight to conan.
664
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,265
What do you say?
665
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:26,499
Uh, well, my goodness.
666
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:29,102
This is all... this is all...
667
00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:30,703
This is all... (Gags)
668
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,072
This is all... (Gags)
669
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:33,073
Oh, boy, hold on.
670
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:34,541
Uh, you okay?
671
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:35,708
Oh, yeah, yeah.
672
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:37,044
It's just, uh, just had a
673
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:38,111
little piece of sausage.
674
00:14:38,145 --> 00:14:39,279
Okay, I'm sure you did.
675
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:40,613
Um, now, I'm not stepping on
676
00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:41,614
anyone's toes here, am I?
677
00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:42,615
Do you already have
678
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:43,616
representation?
679
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:44,617
Representation? No.
680
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:45,618
Hey, sweetheart, there you
681
00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:46,619
are.
682
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:47,620
Ew! Mm-mm.
683
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:48,621
Who the hell's that?
684
00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:49,923
This is, uh, my new manager.
685
00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:50,958
What?
686
00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:51,959
Sorry, snyder, I don't need
687
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:52,960
you anymore.
688
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:53,961
This guy's taking me to
689
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:54,962
Hollywood on a private jet.
690
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:55,963
What? Hollywood!
691
00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:56,964
Hollywood!
692
00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:57,965
We're going to Hollywood!
693
00:14:57,998 --> 00:14:58,966
No, no, no!
694
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,033
We're not going anywhere.
695
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:01,077
There's plenty of room if you
696
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,069
want to take your friends.
697
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:03,070
There's no room, okay?
698
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,071
I have no use for you guys
699
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:05,072
anymore.
700
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:06,073
Hey, what do you say we go
701
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:07,150
back to my hotel and have sex?
702
00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:08,208
Absolutely.
703
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,209
Screw you, guys.
704
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,210
What the hell, Dee?!
705
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:11,211
We made you!
706
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,712
I'm sorry, you made me?!
707
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,081
You made me?!
708
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:15,315
I made you!
709
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:16,749
Screw you guys, all right?
710
00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:18,751
(Making goofy noises)
711
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,623
Oh.
712
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:31,898
(Dee laughs)
713
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:32,966
Oh, my.
714
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:33,633
Here we go.
715
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:34,634
Okay.
716
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:35,435
You excited?
717
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:36,103
Am I excited?
718
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:37,437
Y... yes, I am.
719
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:38,105
Yes, I...
720
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:39,139
Dee, wait, wait.
721
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,440
Wait.
722
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:41,741
I made a mistake.
723
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:42,809
All this time, I've been
724
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:43,776
searching for the perfect guy to
725
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:44,777
take you off of my hands
726
00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:46,313
forever, but... I realized
727
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:47,647
something.
728
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,016
The perfect guy's been under my
729
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:52,319
nose the entire time.
730
00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:54,621
It's me, Dee.
731
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,823
I'm the perfect select.
732
00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:57,824
I know, I've spent my entire
733
00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:58,825
life shitting all over your
734
00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:00,627
dreams, and not supporting you,
735
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:01,861
but I was wrong, Dee.
736
00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:03,630
I see that now.
737
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,632
You can succeed.
738
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:07,667
You wi be a star.
739
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,436
You have to take me.
740
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:12,605
I'm your twin brother.
741
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,574
I love you, Dee.
742
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:20,813
Dennis...
743
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:23,483
Suck my dick.
744
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:26,653
(Dennis grunting)
745
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:27,654
Wait.
746
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:28,655
Dee!
747
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,157
No, wait, Dee, wait!
748
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:31,358
Don't do this, Dee!
749
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:32,992
Dee, wait!
750
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,394
Dee, stop!
751
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:35,695
Don't fly away now!
752
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,130
Dee, wait!
753
00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:39,866
Wait!
754
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,501
So when we get to L.A.,
755
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:42,502
you're going straight into the
756
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:43,470
limo and right to conan.
757
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:44,371
I'm gonna whisk you right
758
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:45,305
backstage, and we go straight
759
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,139
on.
760
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:46,973
This is the big-time, Dee.
761
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:47,840
You're not in Philadelphia
762
00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:48,475
anymore, okay?
763
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,176
Mm-hmm.
764
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:50,009
People are gonna be screaming
765
00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:50,910
your name, there's gonna be
766
00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:51,578
paparazzi.
767
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,012
Papa... whew.
768
00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:53,846
(Gagging): Paparazzi, huh?
769
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:54,847
Yes.
770
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:55,682
I tipped them off.
771
00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:57,350
It's all about image.
772
00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:58,351
It's great!
773
00:16:58,385 --> 00:16:59,018
It's all great.
774
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:00,019
It's all super sudden though,
775
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:00,720
isn't it?
776
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:01,721
(Gags)
777
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:02,722
Ooh.
778
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:03,590
There's a real smell to
779
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:04,357
that one.
780
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:05,024
Yeah, that...
781
00:17:05,058 --> 00:17:05,658
Are you okay?
782
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:06,526
That one was... came...
783
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:07,527
Started deep, that's all.
784
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:08,361
This is your moment, Dee.
785
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:09,062
(Dee sighs)
786
00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:10,029
If you nail this, we're talking
787
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:11,398
sitcoms, movie deals, the whole
788
00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:12,065
nine yards.
789
00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:12,865
Yeah.
790
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:13,733
So let's get focused.
791
00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:14,734
Yes.
792
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:15,535
All right.
793
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:16,536
Yeah.
794
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:17,570
Let's focus.
795
00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:19,005
Focus.
796
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,973
*
797
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:24,677
* don't call it a comeback
798
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,113
I've been here for years
799
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:27,114
I'm rockin' my peers
800
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,548
* puttin' suckers in fear
801
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:29,616
I'm gonna take this
802
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,618
itty bitty world by storm
803
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:32,885
and I'm just gettin' warm *
804
00:17:32,919 --> 00:17:33,886
(Dee retching)
805
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:34,921
* I'm gonna knock you out
806
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:35,922
huh!
807
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:37,090
Mama said knock you out
808
00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:38,091
* huh!
809
00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:39,559
I'm gonna knock you out
810
00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:40,560
huh!
811
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:41,861
* mama said knock you out
812
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:42,862
huh!
813
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:43,863
I'm gonna knock you out
814
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:44,864
(Dee retching)
815
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,099
* mama said knock you out
816
00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:46,766
huh! *
817
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:47,600
welcome to Los Angeles.
818
00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:48,235
Are you ready?
819
00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,068
Okay.
820
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:49,902
Here we go.
821
00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:50,703
* mama said knock
822
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:51,738
you out... *
823
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:52,739
(cameras clicking)
824
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,741
(Reporters shouting)
825
00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:58,711
This is insane.
826
00:17:58,745 --> 00:17:59,546
Driver, take the canyons.
827
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:00,713
Don't go on the highway.
828
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:01,714
Let's see...
829
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,583
(Gags)
830
00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:04,451
You're gonna be great!
831
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:05,318
You're gonna be great!
832
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:06,085
(Tires screeching)
833
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,420
Here we go again.
834
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:08,588
You ready?
835
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:12,091
(Reporters shouting)
836
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:12,925
Okay, Dee is here, Dee
837
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:13,760
Reynolds is here!
838
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:14,594
Well, you're late.
839
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:15,428
Hair and makeup!
840
00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:16,163
We got to go.
841
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:17,164
The announcer's gonna call your
842
00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:18,131
name, you're gonna walk right
843
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:18,998
through those curtains and do
844
00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:19,632
your routine.
845
00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:20,433
This is your moment.
846
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:21,334
This is your moment, you got to
847
00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:22,169
grab it, jump on it, okay?
848
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:23,170
I'll be very... (Gags)
849
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:24,171
Good. You're gonna be great.
850
00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:24,971
You're gonna be great.
851
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:25,605
You made it, Dee.
852
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:26,573
Dee, Dee, you're gonna be a
853
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,240
star, all right?
854
00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:28,007
I made it, I made it.
855
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:28,641
You made it.
856
00:18:28,675 --> 00:18:29,476
I made it, I can do this.
857
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:30,310
Okay, calm down, you can do
858
00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:30,977
this.
859
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:31,811
You did this all by yourself,
860
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:32,445
you can do this.
861
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:33,146
Okay.
862
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:34,013
Conan: Ladies and gentlemen,
863
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:35,124
a very funny woman, miss sweet
864
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:37,083
Dee Reynolds.
865
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,319
Dee Reynolds is a star.
866
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:41,388
(Music playing, crowd cheering)
867
00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:45,124
The joke's on you!
868
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:46,826
(Noisemakers blaring)
869
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:49,162
(Crowd cheering)
870
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:57,970
(Landslide whooping)
871
00:18:58,004 --> 00:18:58,971
(Chanting): Speech, speech,
872
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:00,507
speech, speech, speech...
873
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:02,509
(Chanting continues)
874
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:04,444
Shh, shh, shh!
875
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,012
What...
876
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:07,680
What is going on?
877
00:19:07,714 --> 00:19:08,515
We got you, Dee!
878
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:09,449
We tricked you, we tricked
879
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:10,116
you, we tricked you!
880
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:10,983
We set the whole thing up!
881
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:11,618
You know?
882
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:12,219
Yeah!
883
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:13,019
None of that was real.
884
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:13,986
All of these people are actors.
885
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:15,054
I chartered a jet.
886
00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:16,656
We flew all over Philadelphia
887
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,024
for six hours.
888
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:19,459
And I'm a garbage man.
889
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:20,527
He's a garbage man!
890
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:21,661
He's your garbage man!
891
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:22,529
You've met him.
892
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:23,496
None of this is real, Dee!
893
00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:24,364
None of it!
894
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:25,198
Hey, hey, some of it was
895
00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:25,832
real.
896
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:26,833
Yeah!
897
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,000
You banged that guy!
898
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:29,469
(Laughter)
899
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,470
Hey, best part?
900
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:31,471
Dennis wasn't even in on any
901
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:32,972
of it!
902
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,741
(Laughs) I was and I wasn't.
903
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:35,875
I was and I wasn't.
904
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,009
He wasn't, he wasn't.
905
00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:37,744
No, no, no.
906
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:38,854
No, we knew we had to drag him
907
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:39,712
through the mud, make it seem
908
00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:40,713
legit.
909
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:41,648
It was great, it was great.
910
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:42,649
The joke's on him, too!
911
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:43,483
Yeah, joke's on him!
912
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:44,150
(Noisemakers blare)
913
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:44,851
Well, it was good.
914
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:45,585
It was a good joke.
915
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:46,386
It was a good joke.
916
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:47,254
Good joke, guys, I love jokes.
917
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:48,154
She's got more to say.
918
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:48,821
Oh.
919
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:49,722
She's got more to say.
920
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:50,690
Why would you do this?
921
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:51,834
Oh, well, you know, you were
922
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:53,192
being all mopey and annoying...
923
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:54,193
Yeah.
924
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:55,027
Complaining and stuff.
925
00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:56,363
We wanted to show you that
926
00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:57,264
you could sink lower.
927
00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:58,064
Talking about killing
928
00:19:58,097 --> 00:19:58,865
yourself, ugh.
929
00:19:58,898 --> 00:19:59,942
Some things you just don't
930
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:00,767
joke about, okay?
931
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:01,434
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
932
00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:02,235
You took it too far.
933
00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:02,902
Right.
934
00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:03,570
Too far.
935
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:04,571
Yeah.
936
00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:05,905
I took it too far?
937
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:06,773
That's what I said.
938
00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:08,775
Oh... I took... I took it
939
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:10,877
too far?
940
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:15,682
Oh, god, you sons of bitches!
941
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:19,619
(Roaring)
942
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:21,053
And there she goes!
943
00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:22,054
She's back!
944
00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:23,089
(Laughter)
945
00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:24,123
I... no!
946
00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:25,234
All right, so we got Dee
947
00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:26,959
back, and I think we may have
948
00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:27,794
broke Dennis.
949
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:28,795
Broke me?
950
00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:29,862
Nah, come on, I'm good.
951
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,197
(Laughs) I love all this.
952
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,198
This is great.
953
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,242
I'm gonna pop out for a little
954
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:34,233
while.
955
00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:35,935
(Laughing)
956
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:36,769
He's not loving it.
957
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:37,437
He's not.
958
00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:38,271
He's not loving it.
959
00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:39,105
No, he's not. (Yells)
960
00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:40,607
He might go kill himself.
961
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,809
(Noisemakers blare)
962
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:46,813
Captioned by
963
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:47,814
media access group at wgbh
964
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:50,617
access.Wgbh.Org
965
00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:22,148
(trio chanting backwards)
57059
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