All language subtitles for 7x12 - The High School Reunion

[ Mac, Charlie, Dennis]
Reunion! Reunion! Reunion!

Reunion! Reunion! Reunion!
Reunion!

Reunion! Reunion! Reunion!

Chug! Chug!

Oh!
[Laughing]

[All Shouting ]
Yes!

Fight song. Go! [
Both ] Fight song.

♪♪ [ Indistinct]

♪ So let's go, Saint Joe's ♪
Go, Saint Joe's!

Screw it. [Laughs] I
never knew this one.

That's a stupid song. Man, this
reunion is going to be awesome.

I am going to fire
into that school,

and it is gonna propel me
back into the mid-'90s,

when Dennis Reynolds was a golden god.
Oh, yeah.

Oh, I am so excited to show
these douche bags my new back.

No brace, fools.

♪ Uh, baby got back ♪

♪ Qh,Oh;

♪ Uh, baby got back
Oh ♪

Dee, what are you doing?
“Baby Got Back.”

You know that one.
Sir Mix-A-Lot.

♪ Baby got mmm ♪♪

Sir Mix-A-Lot was not
talking about women...

whose backs have recovered from
a horrific: spinal disorder.

He was talking about
gorgeous black women...

and their big,
beautiful black butts.

- Black butts are good.
- They're good, right?

Baby got back, and I can't wait to
shove it into these fools' faces.

- So let's get going.
- Whatever. I don't give a shit.

Let's do what we always did before every
school-sponsored event, and let's-

Smash 'em up?
Let's smash 'em up!

[All Shouting ]

[ Together]
Smash 'em up!

[ Laughing, Chattering ]

I got these. What are you
doing there, Charlie?

Huh? I'm packing a couple
extra pair of underwear...

in case I get
an atomic wedgie.

That's not gonna happen, dude.
We're adults now.

I'm not taking any risks
here, all right?

And if it does happen,
I'm gonna get high.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna huff stuff.

No, Charlie, you don't have to
do things like that anymore.

You don't need to huff shit
or eat weird things...

to get people to like you.
Nah, I think he does.

You guys were pretty much
nothing in high school.

If he wasn't the class clown
and you didn't sell drugs,

you'd definitely
be nothing- nobodies.

If shit happens,
I'm going directly to Plan

We're not gonna have
to do Plan

I'm gonna come right out and
say that I'm not doing Plan

regardless of what happens
with you guys.

I'm only here for Plan
I d0n't give a shit.

Whoa, whoa.
Faculty or alumni?

- Neither one.
- You can't go in.

No, but we're friends. We're buddies.
We hang out together.

- We do everything together.
- I don't care.

I'm gonna go inside because, Frank, I
can't have you ruining this for me.

But what am I gonna do
out here, you know?

Hang out in the parking lot and
drink beer till we're done.

You smashed all the beers. Oh!
No, actually, I have a few more.

[Chattering ]
You guys want one?

You can't bring those inside.

Well, then, uh,
guess\NhaL lguessleFs,uh-

Smash 'em up!
[ Laughing ]

[ Frank Groans]
All right, turkey.

[ Mac] See you, Frank. [
Dee ] See you, jerk jerky.

Oh, yeah, baby. This is great.
This brings me back.

I know. I'm like anxious.
I'm excited.

I can't wait to see the waitress.
Charlie, give it a rest.

But we been clickin' lately. This
is gonna be a good night for us.

Like, remember how
she was the coolest girl in school?

What are you talking about?
No. No.

She was definitely the prettiest
girl in school. You remember that?

She was not. No. Maybe the most
forgettable girl in school.

Which, by the way, is the worst
thing you can be in high school.

Totally insignificant. Either way, good
feelings are gonna get sparked up.

I'm gonna see her. She's gonna see me.
[ Gasps ]

You guys, you guys.
What?

- Brad Fisher. Brad Fisher.
- Oh.

He is not gonna be happy to see
me after that present I gave him.

What present?
Oh, the box of hornets!

[ Dee ] Oh, that acne really
came back, didn't it?

It sure did.
The guy looks like shit.

I'll tell you what. Why don't
you guys sneak past him,

and Mac and I will
pick up the name tags.

- How's that sound?
- Yeah.

- We'll meet you inside.
- Okay.

Go, go, go. Come on.

Hey, hey, hey!
it's Brad Fisher.

All right! How you doin', buddy?

Oh.
Not great.

Yeah, well, the acne
definitely came back in full force.

That's a shame, but I have products
that'd clear that up, man.

It's not acne, actually.
No, no. it's hornet scars.

Ooh! Ouch.

Yikes. That-

I don't think I have
any products that'll-

that'll take care
of hornet scars.

That's more of a, uh-
Plastic surgery situation.

Yeah, plastic surgery
would do it though. Yeah.

But lasers-
Lasers would do it.

TheydtMa§Hhose monstrous
things- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- You guys seen Charlie around?
- Charlie Kelly?

Yeah.
No.

No, we don't- We d0n't
associate with him anymore.

All right, I'm gonna take off.
Okay.

Messy .
Hoe-hoe.

Let's stay out of that.
Let's stay out of that.

Let's just grab our name tags.
I d0n't see 'em over here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, here we go.

Okay, we got Charlie.
We got Dee.

I got myself right there.
Yeah.

And, uh,
I'm not seeing yours.

Yeah, I grabbed mine already. it's
in my pocket. Oh, did you grab it?

Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, pop it on.

Uh, I'm probably
not gonna wear mine.

I mean, who wears a name tag, right?
That's not cool.

I'm gonna wear mine. I'm seeing
everybody else wearing their name tags.

Uh-
So just pop that on, buddy.

Nobody calls me this anymore, and I
feel like it's gonna confuse people.

It's not, because everybody
called you that in high school,

so pop it on because
it's definitely a rule,

and they're not gonna
let you inside without it.

It's been so long. it's probably
not even my name legally anymore.

You're gonna have
to pop it on.

[ Sighs 1
Okay.

[ Heart Beating]

[ Chattering ]

Good.

Well, okay, Ronald McDonald.
Don't call me that.

Well, it's your name.

So, Ronald, I'm gonna
take a little lap around,

get people abuzz about my
presence at the reunion,

and, uh, I'll meet up
with you guys later, okay?

[Laughing]

[Dennis Sighing]
Oh, God.

No one-
No one calls me-

♪♪ [ Stereo: Rock ]
♪♪ [ Man Vocalizing]

[ Chattering ]

[ No Audible Dialogue]

Is he looking?
Who? That guy?

Yes. Is he looking at my back?
Do you see the waitress?

Come on. Shut up. He's not
looking at your back.

Are you sure? Why are you
so obsessed with this guy?

It's Adriano Calvanese, Charlie.

It's the guy who coined the name
Aluminum Monster.

Really? That's him?
Yes.

That's cool. I want to meet him.
You have met him, Charlie.

He called you Dirtgrub
and he made you eat spiders.

Oh, that guy!
Yeah.

CDh, I rem- He was, like, so cool.
He was, like, way above me.

Yeah, him and his cronies all thought that
they were way above you and everybody else,

but I've got a plan to get revenge.

I'm gonna sew myself into their inner
circle. Cool. How you gonna do that?

I'm gonna lure 'em in
with my good looks.

Then, as far as I remember, all you really
gotta do to get in with that crowd...

is be really cruel to people.
Right.

I'm gonna gain their trust, and when
the moment's right I'm gonna strike.

Oh, cool. All right.
I'm doing it for us, Charlie.

Oh, okay. Thanks.
Mm-hmm.

[Gasps] Is it- Is it him?
He's coming over.

Do you see a spider I can eat?
No, stop.

Just keep your mouth shut.
Shut up. Keep your mouth shut.

Hey, um, excuse me, but aren't
you the Aluminum Monster?

Yes. I mean, no. People don't
call rne that anymore, but yeah.

Nor should they. I mean-
[Chuckles]

Wow, y0u've, uh- You've really transformed.
You look great.

Really?
Mm-hmm.

Thanks.

Hey. Dirtgrub.
[Laughs] How are you?

That's so cool. You're
so cool, Adriano. Yeah.

Hey, um.

Why don't you smell this?

Oh, well, it's probably
poisonous, right?

Probably, but, you know,
smell it anyway.

Should-Should I smell it?
Smell it.

Aw, well- [ Laughing ] Come on.

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, Charlie!
What are you doing, dude?

Oh, he wanted me
to smell a pen,

and I was gonna smell the
pen, because it's Adriano-

You don't have
to do that anymore.

Hey, Ronald McDonald, right?

[Giggling]
No.No.No.

For your information,
nobody calls me that.

Oh, right, right.
What did we call you?

Ronnie the Rat. Ronnie the Rat!
Yeah, I remember. Yeah, yeah.

Why did we call him that anyway?
'Cause he was a nark and a tattletale,

and he became
the main drug dealer...

when he told on the other main drug dealer.
Right, I remember.

- [ Dee ] Yeah. - Well, looks like the
rat got a little too much cheese, huh'?

That's not- [ Dee ] Fat.

That's not funny. I've put on mass.
We eat a lot of cheese.

To put on mass. Didn't you
also give everybody ringworm?

No! No.
That was a rumor.

I only gave ringworm
to Charlie.

I got it
from my dog Poppins,

and then Charlie and I were
wrestling every day...

because we were trying out for the
wrestling team, and then, you know,

we just passed it back and forth.
We passed it back and forth.

Although then we did try out
for the wrestling team,

and then I do think a couple of
the guys got it on the team.

- So, yeah, you're right, You're right.
- Wow, yeah. Yeah,

No, that is really gross.
I mean, that is-

Yeah, that's about as low
as it gets.

They probably still have it, 'cause
they're so gay together. Totally.

Hey, Dee, why don't you come back to
our table? You know, have a drink?

Oh, yeah. Okay.
Yeah?

That sounds cool.

See you later,
Dirtgrub and Ronnie the Rat.

Hope you suck each other's rotten
peckers until you get mouth cancer.

[ Laughing ]
Mouth cancer.

- Can I come to the table?
- [Adriano ] No!

[ Whispers ] For some reason,
homophobia- it's awesome to these guys.

I'm sewing myself in.
I'm doing this for us. Okay?

What the hell
is she talking about?

She's going to strike when the momenfs
right. She's doing it for us, dude.

Really?
Yeah.

Did you thank her? Of course
I thanked her. Absolutely.

Oh, what's up, boys?
Hey.

- All right, I got your name tags.
- Oh.

- Hey, did you get on Mac: about his?
- Yeah, he's got-

it's not that- it's not funny.
That's so funny.

- Adriano came over and blasted him
about it. - Oh, he did? Oh, good.

So Adriano's probably gonna
tell everybody about it.

That's going to get around
the whole reunion.

Get going round and round. Probably not.
Probably getting old already.

So, guys, this is where
we part ways, all right?

So do not talk to me
for the rest of the night,

and I won't be talking to you,
because you lower my stock.

You guys get it. I'm going to go post
up one of these tables around here.

Let my loyal subjects come
and kiss my ring. [Laughs]

Listen, don't laugh
when people make fun of me.

Yo! Stash. Stash.

What's up, brother?
It's Dennis.

Here, s-sit down, man. Let's-Let's
catch up a little bit.

Yeah, okay. All right.
I'll c-catch you later, man.

If you see any of the old crew, let
them know I'm posted up over here.

I don't think they
know I'm- I'm here.

Dennis. [Chuckling]
What are you-

I snuck right by
that security prick.

Look. I got myself a name tag.
I'm Nicki Potnick. Mmm.

Remember the time you crashed
my car into the tree?

You went crazy and the tire
went- We had such a good time.

Okay, Frank, first off, Nicki
Potnick is a girl, okay?

And secondly,
she's not 65 years old.

I don't want to talk to you. I don't want
to be around you. Go find Mao and Charlie.

Go, go, go. Why- Why are you
sitting at a table with no people?

I thought you were cool. I am cool.
Coolest kid here. I'm just-

I'm posting up, and they're
going to come to me.

I don't know
what's going on.

Hello, Dennis.

Ooh.
Oh, goddamn.

You're late on your alimony.

Can we not talk about
alimony payments right now?

We're at our reunion. Didn't think
you'd run into your ex-wife, huh?

No, I didn't think about it, Maureen,
because I don't think about you.

Really?
No.

What do you think about this?

Ho! Ho!

It wafted over here.
The dead tooth-

It's burning my nose. It stinks.

What is that supposed to be? That's
where your monthly payments are going.

That's a diamond tooth, Dennis.

A dead tooth, Maureen.
With a diamond in it.

Put a diamond on anything that's
dead, and it's still dead, Maureen.

It's rotting.
Get it out of your face.

Look, I don't want to talk
about these things.

I don't want to talk to old men
who are pretending to be women,

and-and ex-wives,
all right?

I can't be seen like this.

[ Slurring ] Hello, bitches.
Oh, for-

That's right. I'm off the wagon.
Yeah.

You know what, Dennis?

I went to go find my name tag-
They didn't have one for me.

Oh, really?

All right,
see you later.

Yeah, I went to go find my name tag.
They didn't even have one.

It's like- it's like what?
I never existed?

[ Laughing ] I mean, who
cares though, right?

'Cause it's high school.
Who cares?

Hmm.

[Laughing] Here we go.
Here we go. Grab it.

Oh, yes! Shots for everybody.
Shots for the cool ta-

Oh! Rickety Cricket,
everybody.

Look at this.
Rickety Crickety. Rickety-

[ Babbling 1

Rickety Cricket!

Hi, Cricks. How are you?

All cleaned up, huh?
Except for that tooth.

Is it? Well, actually
it's Father Mara again.

I cleaned up, yes, and I was
welcomed back into the cloth.

God had a plan for me.

Took me into a deep valley, but
now I'm soaring on eagle's wings.

So praise Him.
'Yeah,yeah,yeah, yeah,yeah.

All that, street rat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[ Cackles ]
So I tell you what, Crick.

Should I put my balls on your
ohin now or later, huh? Huh,huh?

Down the hatch, everybody. Down the
hatch, everybody- but you, Father.

All right, well, nonetheless,
I say to you peace.

Peace be to you, Deandra, okay?
That's weird.

And peace be to you,
my lady.

And to you, my son.
Peace be to you.

1Y>you. [[Dee] Bofing.

Hey! Hey, everybody.
Remember me?

Probably not.

Sat behind you
in Spanish.

Remember? Sat- Sat right
next to you in Algebra 1.

Who the hell is that? I don't know.
I've never seen her before in my life.

Dee. Dee, you know me, Dee.

I know Dee.
Me and Dee, we go way back.

Ugh! Bad choice on the
dress, know what I mean?

I know you, bitch.
I know you, bitch.

Wow. Oh, hey.

More shots. More shots. More shots.
More shots! More shots! More shots!

I'm the queen
of the night!

I'm the queen of the night.
Right, cool table?

I.” [Disco]

Wow! I just shook
your dead-tooth wife.

I mean, I had to wash
my hands and face.

I am trying to shake you, Frank.
It just smells so bad.

Please go away from me.
Please get away.

Yo, Dennis!

Oh, shit.
it's Tim Murphy.

Son of a bitch.
Who's Tim Murphy?

Tim Murphy is the asshole
that slept with my prom date.

Dennis Reynolds.
What's up, man?

Oh, hey, Tim.

This is my wife, Christie. Dennis and
I used to be really good friends.

Oh! Hi. Nice to meet you.

Nicki Potnick.
Shut up.

Oh, hey, honey?
Yeah?

Let's go dance.
Why don't you go ahead?

I'm going to hang for a bit.
Oh, okay.

Nice to meet you both.

Uh-oh.

Va va voom.

Anyhow, I saw you standing
over here alone.

I wanted to invite you over
to our table.

Oh, I won't be going
anywhere with you, Tim.

Okay, Why?

Don't you play coy with me,
you little bitch.

I'm going to stay right here, and I'm
going to wait for my minions to swarm me.

And swarm they will, Tim.

Alone you'll be.

[ Chuckles ] Such sad little...
games we play.

Right, Tim?

Right.

Same old Dennis Reynolds.
[Chuckles]

You look good, Nicki.

Thank you, Tim!
Mmm.

Thank you.
Seems like a nice guy.

He's not. Go! Go away from me!
All right.

We just got to get our mojo back.
it's all about the confidence.

Yeah. Get some drinks
in us, and- Yeah.

Six beers for the two of us,
please.

Drink tickets
for the two of us, please.

All right.
Here.

Dude, this is only four.

That's all they gave us, bozo.

Well, that's only two
per person, bozo.

Well, how am I supposed to get
drunk off of only four beers?

Is there any way
you can work something out?

- Two tickets per person, guy.
- I didn't ask you, pretty boy.

It's a conversation
between me and the longhair.

Okay. None for him
or the fat bitch.

[Laughing] You're making
this about weight?

He's gained a lot of weight.

I'm not going to take some shit
from some bartender.

You're a bartender.
He doesn't know that!

Hey, did you guys see
Ronald McDonald's his name?

Hey! Eight beers, my friends.

What's up, buddy? How are you?
Boom!

Whoa. I thought it was
only two per person!

Went to the computer lab. Printed
out like a hundred of them.

Way- Way more than I need.

That's awesome. Can we get a few of them?
No. No way.

I'm- I'm sorry I brought it up.
Yeah.

Hey, Adriano, can I get some more of
those tickets? Yeah, you bet. Here.

Son of a bitch! He just
gave them to that guy.

Well, that guy's cool,
so-

[ Sighs 1
Okay.

I got an excellent plan. We're
going to get everything we need.

We're going to get our confidence back, and
we're going to fire back into this room.

You ready?
Okay, good.

Here we go. I want
those guys to like us.

Follow my lead.
Okay.

Adriano made fake tickets!
Those tickets are fake!

Don't rat on him!

He made fake ones. He gets to drink
and we don't. That's not fair!

Bro, I'm sorry.

If those are fake, you can't
get any of these beers.

- Come on. - Ha, ha! You got in
trouble. You got in trouble!

Wow. Ronnie the Rat
strikes again, huh?

Thanks a lot, douche bag.

You're the worst, Dirtgrub.
Yeah.

I didn't have anything to
do- Don't sell me out.

- See what you did, man? - We're supposed
to be on the same team, Charlie.

See, high school sucks! I'm going to find
stuff to huff. I'm going to get high.

- If I'm the Dirtgrub, I'm going
to be the Dirtgrub. - [ Groans]

Ahh! We're going to go
into Plan

because I brought Dee's old back
brace, and I got it in the car.

So, we can implement-
Not now, Frank!

A little rehearsal or something.

No, Charlie. Dude, you
don't have to do this.

- We can find another way.
- Yes, I do, dude.

I'm just the Dirtgrub, okay?

Everyone wants the Dirtgrub,
I'll give 'em the Dirtgrub.

I'll get high. I'll get sad. People can
laugh at me. I hate high school, man!

Charlie. Charlie, don't put the
bleach and the ammonia together!

It's going to knock
the shit out of you.

Don't tell me how to mix my own inhalants.
I know how to do inhalants.

Charlie, it's going to
knock you unconscious.

I know how to do my own inhalants, okay?
I don't need that from-

Whoops-a-daisy.
That's it.

Well, let's just wait till
he wakes up, and then we'll-

Oh, well.
What have we got here?

Ronnie the Rat and, uh-

Hey, look, everyone. Nicki
Potnick made it to the reunion.

Hello.

Looks like you had a rough
couple of years there, Nicki.

Uh, yeah. I'm a guy now.

Mmm.
Mmm. Right. Yeah.

What are you guys doing, perving
out on Dirtgrub over there?

[ Snickers ]
Yeah, probably.

That's what
these gay guys do.

They just knock each
other out with poppers,

and then find some kinda
rabies-infested rodent...

to tickle each other's
taints with.

- [Laughing]
- No.

No, that's not
what we're doing, all right?

We are grown adults. We are
respected businessmen now.

You did kind of
rat me out there, Ronnie.

Yeah, so I guess it's time
to pay the piper, Rat,

and,uh,
old man I don't know.

Whoa! No, no!
[ Shouting ]

[All Shouting ]

Ow!

I've been waiting
a long time for this.

You-You know me, bitch! Oh, God!

I'm a grown goddamn man!

Ow! My balls!
Aaah!

♪♪ [ Hip-hop, Faint]

[ Man On Stereo] ♪ Do the ladies
want to battle with me? ♪

You should stay away
from those people.

I mean, they-they will ruin your
life like they tried to ruin mine.

A-oh!

You guys just missed something
so awesome that we did. [Laughs]

Heed my warning.

Hey, how you guys doing?
Yeah. I'm here.

Can you believe I came to this thing?
I was posted up over there.

You guys probably didn't see me.
No, we saw you.

Oh, did you? Oh, okay, well,
no reason to be intimidated.

You know?
I'm a human being, after all.

You know,
just a-just a man.

- Actually, we're good.
- Uh, no, Tim. We're not good.

And you're definitely not good,

'cause you haven't had a chance
to hang out with me yet.

Um, my wallet's missing.

Oh, my God,
my necklace is missing.

Oh, come on!
My gold chain's gone.

- [ Indistinct]
- Where's my wallet?

Oh, my.
And with all the security.

The fact you even need it-

Wait a second, Mara. What
is that around your neck?

Hmm?

Oh, that's, uh, probably
just a scar that-

What the hell?
Aaah.

[Crowd Gasps]

Aaah! I've sinned!

My God, you are covered
in ringworm.

It's her fault.
She told me she loved me.

We were supposed
to be together forever.

- Calm down, Cricks. - What's he talking
about? Dee, were you two together?

No! Me, with him?
I- What, are you crazy? No!

Yeah, I told him I loved him once,
but that was four years ago.

You two probably
have ringworm together, don't you?

No! No, of course I don't have-
No, no, stay away from me!

To think I was going
to let you jack me off.

- Wait, wait. You were?
- Unbelievable.

Let's get this asshole out of here.
Come on.

No, no, no!
Come on.

Move. Come on! [ Dee] No, no, no.
You guys-

We don't have ringworm.
I don't have ringworm.

No, no. We're cool!
Yeah, we're like the-

Oh-
Oh, really?

Son of a bitch.
[Groans]

[ Voices Speaking Backwards]

English - US - PSDH