All language subtitles for Terry Jones - Erik the Viking

Have you done this
sort of thing before?

Me? Of course. I've been looting and
pillaging up and down the coast.

- Looting and pillaging, eh?
- Yes.

- What about the raping?
- Shut up.

Well, it's obvious you haven't
raped anyone in your life.

- Do you like women?
- What?

- Of course I like women. I love 'em.
- You don't love me.

Well, no, I don't.

Mind you, I'm not saying
I couldn't get to like you.

As a matter of fact I actually
prefer it if there's some sort

of mutual feeling
between two people...

- What? Rape? - No. Obviously then
it wouldn't be rape then, would it?

Get it over with.

I don't suppose that you...
No... no.

- What?
- I don't suppose that... you...

- You do like me at all?
- What d'you expect?

You come in here, burn my village,
kill my family, and try to rape me.

- You don't like it, do you? - Well I just
think it's a little bit crude, that's all.

What about all the killing and looting?
That's just as crude, isn't it?

- Well, you have to do them.
- Why?

Why do you have to go around
killing and looting all the time?

- To pay for the next expedition, of course.
- But that's a circular argument!

If the only reason for the expedition
is the killing and looting

and the only reason for
the killing and looting is

to pay for the next expedition,
they cancel each other out.

- Stop talking as if we were married!
- Well you started it.

- I just said I didn't feel like raping you.
- And I was just saying

that rape is no more pointless or
crude than all the killing and looting.

Scream.

Louder.

Aaagh!

- Rape!
- Oh, thanks.

- Rape?
- Where?

He raped me standing up.

- You finished, then?
- I suppose so...

Right!

Leave her alone!

No!

Thanks for saving me from
a fate worse than death.

- I didn't mean to!
- Oh, that's all right then...

It's the thought that counts.

You told them I raped you, why?

I don't know...

you looked so...
vulnerable.

- Why should you care?
- Why... should you care?

Tell me your name?

Tell me, what is it?

ERIK THE VIKING

Subtitle:
Completely fixed: titler

If you ever thought of
converting my dear,

now would be an
ideal opportunity.

- Not now!
- No, of course not...

- But, er, you might not get
another chance. - Go away!

Right.
I'll pray for you my dear.

Yes... That's what I'll do, dear.
I'll pray for you.

Let her go!

- Why?
- Why should we let her go?

We haven't hit a
single braid yet!

- He hit my wife!
- That showed her.

What's the matter?

We're missing the fun. huh?

- What's it all about, grandpa?
- What?

We toil and labour,
we loot and pillage,

- we rape and kill, and yet...
- Why're you talking this piffle, son?

Where does it
all get us, Grandpa?

Who you've been talking to?

- I met this girl...
- Women.

It's always the women who
causes all the trouble.

She got me thinking...

So?
What'd you do to her?

I killed her.

That's my boy!

Freya!

Freya!

Freya!

Freya.

Erik the Viking.

What can you want with me,
Erik the Viking?

I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have come.

Afraid they will
make fun of you

for listening to an
old woman's stories?

Young men only interested
in fighting and killing.

Yes...

...but has it always been like that?
Since the beginning of time?

- What do you see, Erik?
- I see... the world.

Is it night or day, Erik?

- It is day, of course, Freya.
- Is it winter or summer, Erik?

The winter has passed.
It is... summer.

Have you ever seen
the sun, Erik?

No, it's up beyond the
clouds where it always is.

But have you ever seen it, Erik?

Of course not.

Think back.

I remember once as a child...

...a dream.

It was as if the
whole sky were...

blue...

It was blue, Erik...

...once.

The Old Stories tell of an age
that would come such as this...

when Fenrir the Wolf
would swallow the sun,

and a Great Winter
would settle on the world.

It was to be an axe age,
a sword age,

a storm age, when brother
would turn against brother,

and men would fight each other
until the world was finally destroyed.

Then this is the
Age of Ragnarok?

Wait, Freya!

Is there nothing men can do?

The Gods are asleep, Erik.

I will go and wake
them up then!

Tell me what I must do!

Erik...

Far out in the midst of the
Western Ocean there is a land,

men call it Hy-Brasil.

There you will find a horn...

this horn is called Resounding.

You must take the Horn Resounding
and three times you must blow it.

The first note will
take you to Asgaard.

The second note will
awaken the Gods.

And the third note
will bring you home.

But remember, Erik...

once you are in
the spell of the Horn,

hatred will destroy you.

Will the dead
ever return, Freya?

That I cannot tell you.

Oh, come on, Erik!

Erik, what are you doing? Thorfinn just said
that Sven's grandfather died of old age.

- He must fight to the death.
- That's right! Sven must kill me.

Aren't you afraid of death,
Thorfinn Skull-Splitter?

Not death by the sword!

It means I shall drink in Valhalla,
with the great warriors.

You don't believe in this
Valhalla nonsense, do you?

- Go away.
- Right. Fine.

Just checking.

And you, Sven, aren't you afraid of
crossing the Rainbow Bridge to Asgaard?

- I will join my grandfather there.
- He's not in Valhalla!

- He died of old age!
- You liar!

Stop it!
Stop it!

There's only one
way to settle it.

- He must kill me!
- Ya!

- There is another way.
- Who gets killed?

- Nobody gets killed.
- Oh, well...

It'll be dangerous.
Maybe none of us will return.

Ah well, that's much more sensible
than just Thorfinn getting killed.

- Shall we all go and pack now?
- What are you talking about, Erik?

What if we could find Bi-Frost
the Rainbow Bridge?

- Find the Rainbow Bridge?
- Find it, and cross it!

Look! You can't find somewhere
that doesn't exist.

- Shut up!
- Right.

Only the dead
reach Asgaard, Erik.

What's the matter?
Are you afraid to try?

Of course we're not afraid
to try, but...

- But what?
- But, what?

Nobody's ever crossed the
Rainbow Bridge to Asgaard.

- We'd be the first!
- You mean we'd be dead?

No! We'd be the first living men
to set foot in the Halls of the Gods.

But how?

I don't know.

But I'm not afraid to try.

- Well, I'm not afraid of anything.
- Neither am I.

Then you'll come?

Wish you were going too?

Don't.
Too busy.

Ooh, that's a good one!

You could charge Halfdan
fifteen for that one.

Yes, it is good, isn't?
But I told him ten, Loki.

You could charge him
what you like.

You just can't make enough
swords and spears

and knives and daggers
to satisfy the demand.

- You could charge Halfdan twenty
for that and he'd pay it. - Oh!

I couldn't do that!
The Blacksmith's Code says that...

Yes, yes... of course...
the "Blacksmith's Code"...

If this is the Age of Ragnarok,
Keitel Blacksmith, it is good to us.

Can't make enough swords!
Can't make enough axe-heads!

But, Keitel...

if Erik ever finds the
Horn Resounding,

if he ever crosses Bi-Frost,
the Rainbow Bridge,

if he ever wakens the gods...

- They chase Fenrir the Wolf from the sky...
- The Age of Ragnarok ends and...

The bottom falls out
of the sword business!

It's not just your livelihood
at stake but your son's,

and well, the livelihood
of all blacksmiths.

- My brothers blacksmiths.
- That's right.

And the Blacksmith's
code says that we must...

...honor and protect
all Blacksmith's.

Together we stand!

You just can't let Erik do that.

- Got both axes?
- Yes, mother.

- And something to sharpen
them with? - Yes, mum.

And don't forget: Never let
your enemy get behind you.

- No, mother.
- And keep your sword greased.

Yes, mother.

- Goodbye, dad.
- Don't forget to wash,

- you know... all over!
- No, Dad.

And if you have to kill somebody,
kill them! Don't stop to think about it.

I never do.

- It's a tradition.
- I know, Dad. Yout told me...

I was a Berserk for King Harald
Fairhair...

- You went berserk...
- I went berserk,

in every battle I ever
fought for King Harald...

- So did your father...
- So did my father...

- and his father before him.
- But it's a responsibility...

But it's a responsibility,

- being a Berserk.
- I must only let the red rage...

You must only let the
red rage take hold of you

in the thick of battle.

I know!
I've heard it all a thousand times!

No, no, no...
you'll never make a Berserk.

If you let it out now, you'll have
nothing left for battle.

Besides, it's dangerous.

It's the end of a
family tradition.

- Sorry.
- Yah, well...

- You will wait?
- What you'd expect me to do?

Take this for luck.

That's what they call me:
Leif the Lucky.

Please.

You coming? You don't even
believe in Asgaard.

No. But I do hope to do a
little business on the way.

You're wasting your time.

Listen... I have been in
this dump for 16 years

and I have not made a
single convert in all that time.

There was Thorbjorn Vifilsson's wife.
You converted her.

Thorbjorn Vifilsson's wife became
a Buddhist, not a Christian.

Same thing, isn't it?

No, it is not.

Well... we'll be off now...

Say something a little
more than that!

Oh... er... right... um...

Mum...

Don't be sad. You all know
why we're going... so...

don't grieve.

Maybe untold dangers
do lie ahead of us,

and some of you may well be looking
at the one's you love for the last time.

But don't grieve!

You see, even if the Hordes of
Muspel tear us limb from limb or

the Fire Giants burn each and
every one of us to a cinder...

even if we're swallowed by
the Dragon of the North Sea or

fall off the Edge of the World...
don't cry.

No! No!
Don't cry...

It's all fantasy,
there's no Edge of the World,

there's no Dragon
of the North Sea.

That's what you say.

- What's the matter with them?
- Say something cheerful.

Cheerful...
Right. Right. Um...

Well... cheers everybody!

Don't go!

My son!
I don't want you to go!

- I don't want me to go, either.
- Oh gods! Please, everybody! Keep calm!

Listen, it's not certain
all of us are going to die...

and in any case we may
not die hideous deaths...

- We'd best be going.
- Right.

Farewell, and for the last
time may the gods...

Don't say anything else.

Wait, Erik!

You can't go without me.

Who will sharpen your swords
and mend your shields?

- Oh no!
- Not him too!

What's the matter now?

If Keitel Blacksmith
goes with you...

we'll have no one to do
the things he did for us.

Or sharpen our knives
and mend our pans.

Well you have Loki,
Keitel's assistant to do all that.

Loki?

What's the matter with Loki?
He's become quite good at blacksmithing.

- Well, yes... but...
- He's so small and...

Oh, yes... we've got Loki.
That's true.

Hey, you two!
What's going on?

- I was sitting there.
- No, you weren't!

Leifs sitting here.
I need a bit of luck.

- Look, I bagged it last week.
- It doesn't matter where you sit!

Yes it does!
We could be at sea for months.

Well, what difference does
it make where you're sitting?

I don't want to have to sit
next to Snorri all that time.

Thank you very much indeed.

- Stop it!
- So nice if you're wanted.

Sven, sit back there.

Leif, you better sit here.
And Harald sit here.

- Trust me to get the missionary.
- What are you doing here?

You might need a real Berserk.

- I am one, Dad!
- We haven't got a spare place.

He can have my place.
I don't really want to go anyway.

- Stay where you are!
- He could have Bjorn's place.

- Bjorn's not coming.
- What's the matter with Bjorn?

Halfdan the Black chopped off
both his hands last night.

- He was lucky.
- Well... sit there.

You can't have Sven's dad sitting next
to Sven, they'll argue the whole time.

That's true.

Sven, sit behind Thorfinn.

And you sit there, and you sit there,
and you sit there.

Now you've got all the
big ones on one side.

All right. Um...
Thangbrand sit where Ornulf is.

Ornulf sit where Ulf is.
Ulf sit where Thangbrand was.

Ragnar sit behind Thorfinn.
Thorfinn stay where you are.

- I wanted to sit next to Leif.
- Shut up.

Sven switch with Snorri.
Snorri sit behind Sven.

Keitel sit here, Harald there,
Leif there, Bjarni there.

Now you've got all the ones
with beards on one side

and all the moustaches
on the other.

- That doesn't matter.
- Erik! Wait!

Here, son.

Your father always made sure
he could rest his head at night.

I can't take that
on a voyage.

It was your father's!
It was the pillow he took with him.

He said it once saved his life.
Please!

Thanks, Mum.

Row!

Row!

What's your business?

I wish to speak to Halfdan
The Black.

- He's too busy.
- I have money. See.

Come along, Hecate.

Look, I'm not an unreasonable man, Thord
Andersson, but this is the second chance

- that I've given you.
- But I'm a poor man, Sir.

Yes, but it's not just me, you see.
A lot of people depend on this money.

I really can't give you a third
chance, I'm so sorry.

- Would you please behead him, please?
- Oh no! Take all my sheep, all of them.

Oh, that's a good idea.
Take all his sheep.

If only they'd think ahead.
I really wish they would.

Ah the blacksmith's assistant
from Ravenfjord.

- Garrotte him, would you please.
- Oh, no.

My Lord, Halfdan the Black.

You've brought
me more swords?

I bring more than swords.
I bring a warning from my master.

- A warning?
- No!

- Flay them both alive would you?
- No, it's a mistake.

Erik and the men of Ravensfjord
are setting off to cross

- the Western Ocean.
- Lucky things!

I could do with a holiday, I can tell you.
All this financial work, you know...

The stress really gets you.

Flay him alive, garrotte him
and then behead him.

No, I'm not Hildir Eysteinsson!
I'm Hjalti Skeggjason!

- You've got the wrong man.
- Shh...

They seek to drive Fenrir
the Wolf from the sky

to waken the Gods and to bring
the Age of Ragnarok to an end.

- End Ragnarok?
- Who do they think they are?

- Er, just cut his hand off.
- Oh, thank you my lord.

Thank you,
a million thanks yous.

You can cut them both off if you want.
Thank you very much.

So why should you
tell me all this?

Because, my lord, my livelihood,
depends on Ragnarok.

Like yours.

And of course if anything
should happen to your master

you would become blacksmith
of Ravensfjord.

Have a good look. That's the last
we shall see of old Norway.

Goodbye home...
goodbye loved ones...

- goodbye lunch...
- Oh! Shut up.

You know, my son,
our lord said...

- Your lord.
- Quite...

my lord said: The Prayer of Faith
shall save the sick.

I hope the Dragon of North Sea
gets you and your lord.

Darkness and ignorance.

Darkness and ignorance.

You all right?

No, I'm not.

You don't need to feel bad about
being sea-sick, you know.

How can you help feeling
bad when you're sea-sick?

- I mean, many of the greatest sailors
were pukers. - I know. I know.

Olaf Tryggvason used to throw up
on every single voyage.

The whole time. Non-stop.
Puke... puke... puke.

Look!
I don't feel bad about it.

I just feel ill.

- He used to puke in his sleep.
- Oh, bastard.

Thorfinn.

- No, no. Put it away. Break out the oars.
- What are you talking about?

- Break out the oars! Come on, move it!
- We've only just started cooking supper.

- It's Halfdan the Black!
- I know. Snorre, get your oar out.

Do you suppose he wants
to stop us waking the Gods?

- What do you think?
- How could he know... unless...

So, you're gonna run away
from him are you, Erik?

Row, Thorfinn Skull-Splitter.

And you, Keitel Blacksmith.

I gave an order.
Or didn't you hear?

We don't get
anywhere if we fight.

Row!

Faster.

We can't keep this up!

Row, row, row, row.

And up!

- The Gates of the World...
- What?

We have passed through the
Gates of the World.

No we are in the Unknown...

Look!

I never thought I should live
to see the sun again.

Where?

So that is what
the sun looks like!

Should the sun do that?

Excuse me.
What are you looking at?

Look out!

- It's not the sun!
- It's not the sun!

It's not the sun!

- What is it?
- It's the Dragon of the North Sea!

Ah!
That's why I can't see it.

Some dragon!
Ooh!

What a hell...

Look out!

Row!

Row!

What's all the panic about?

- The Dragon...
- Children afraid of the dark.

- Slower. Nobody can row
at that speed. - Oh sorry.

- Man overboard!
- Slower!

In! Out!
In! Out!

We're... being... attacked!

No, no Sven...

We... must... kill!

Kill!

No good going berserk
against a dragon!

Faster!

Make up your mind.

Keep up the strike!

Stop it!

Row!
Row!

Keep rowing!

- What are you doing?
- It saved my father!

- Erik!
- Row! Keep rowing!

His dad was the same. Used to take
forty winks in the middle of a battle.

Just shut up!

Has anyone told him we've got
a dragon eating our boat?

He done!

Death to dragons!

Red mist!

Barmy!

Take a deep breath!

It's at time like this that
this book is most useful.

I'll take that.
Shut up and row you idiot!

Breathe in, you cod-brain!

Hold on tight!

Urgh!
What's it been eating?

Get back!
Look out!

Get back!

Look out!

- Who was that?
- Leif the Lucky.

I can't hang on!

- Let me go, Sven.
- What are you talking about?

I'm not worth you're
risking your life for!

I've got you, Keitel Blacksmith!
If you go... I go too...

Hang on!

First we're flying
now we're sinking!

Who are we fooling?
This is hopeless!

Let's all sing something!

Anyone know any good
drowning songs?

Listen!
Maybe we won't get to Hy-Brasil!

Maybe we won't find
the Horn Resounding,

but at least we've tried...

and at least we shall
have died like men.

- Like fish.
- Shut up.

Erik's right!
We'll all meet in Valhalla.

I don't want to die!

Isn't there anybody who'd like to
be christened before we go down?

It can't do you any harm.

- What do we have to do?
- Nothing at all.

I simply immerse
you in water...

- Get lost!
- Right.

Don't let me drown, Thorfinn!

Oh, Odin! Not me, I'm too young.
Please not me.

Perhaps I'd rather drown.

Till we meet in Valhalla.

- How deep is the ocean?
- Very deep...

usually.

Wait, wait wait!
Nobody kill anybody!

What is it?

- It's the Dragon again!
- No... no, it isn't.

- The sun! That's it!
- The sky's blue.

The sun!

Erik!

Look.

- She's got no clothes on!
- It's disgusting.

Get her weapons.

She hasn't got any.

- She must have a knife or something...
- What kind of place is this?

Maybe they've got weapons
we haven't even dreamed of...

- Let's hack her to pieces.
- No.

Well, what else do we do?

- How about making friends?
- "Friends"?

What's wrong with
making friends?

You don't go through all the hardships
of an ocean voyage to make "friends".

- We can make "friends" at home.
- Welcome!

- What did you say?
- I said you're welcome.

- Welcome? - Well, of course.
We always welcome friends.

How d'you know
we're "friends"?

Well, everyone is friends
here on Hy-Brasil.

Hy-Brasil?
Is this Hy-Brasil?

Well, of course.

Please, please,
what are those?

- What are what?
- Those things in your hands.

These? What are these? - Yes.
- They're swords.

Oh no! No! Put them down!
Please, please put them down!

- What's the matter? - Please!
You don't know what you're doing!

- Make them put them down.
- Why?

Yes, why?

Why?

Yes.

But surely you know?

- No.
- Know what?

Well, the wonderful blessing under
which we live here on Hy-Brasil!

- No... we don't.
- The Gods decreed

that if ever swords spilled
human blood upon these shores,

the whole of Hy-Brasil would
sink beneath the waves.

That's terrible!

- You mean if just one person gets killed?
- This whole place would sink?

Yes!

- You mean, you can't kill anybody?
- Right! Isn't it wonderful?

- What? Not being able to kill anybody?
- Well, of course.

But how?

Well... for a start...
there's no killing.

Well obviously
there's no killing.

- But how d'you take revenge?
- How do you punish people?

- How do you defend yourselves?
- We don't have to.

We're all terribly
nice to each other.

- All the time?
- Well, of course! We have to be.

Being nice to each other
is what it's all about.

You see, we're terribly
nice to each other.

We're friendly bold and free.

We never say anything
nasty 'cause we dare not.

No, sirreeeee!

Would you like us
to sing to you?

Sing?

Well, that's very kind of you,
but we're in a hurry and...

What's the matter? Don't you
want to hear our singing?

Oh, yes of course. It's just we're looking
for the Horn Resounding and...

You don't think our singing's
going to be good enough for you?

No, no, no, no,
it's just the Horn Resounding...

A lot of people like
our singing, you know.

- Well, I'm sure it's lovely.
- But you don't want to hear it.

No, no, no. We'd love to hear it,
wouldn't we?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Well, you'll have to
ask us really nicely.

Er, well, we'd be terribly grateful
if you would sing for us.

- You're just saying that.
- Well, of course he is!

Of course we're not. We would
genuinely like to hear you sing.

- Really?
- Really.

And you're not just saying that
because you think we want you to?

No.

Summon the musicians! We'll do the one
that goes... tum-tum-tum-tum-ti-tum-tum.

But it's not the
one we're best at.

- Couldn't we do the one that goes
"Tum-ti-tum-ti-tum-ti-tum"?

Not when we've got visitors.

Ah!
The musicians!

Oh dear, I'm sure you're
not going to like this.

It's, it's just no good,
we are not a musical nation.

No, no, no it was,
it was very... nice.

Really?

Now, I want you to be absolutely,
totally, genuinely honest with me.

Did you really, truly,
honestly like it?

No.

They didn't like it.
Oh, my God. I want to die!

Your Majesty, we come from
a world where there is no music.

Where Fenrir the Wolf
covers the sun.

A world where men live and die
by the axe and by the sword.

- Well, how do you think I feel?
- We must find the Horn Resounding!

Is it here on Hy-Brasil?

- I'll tell you what.
- Yes?

We'll do the one that goes
"Tum-tum-tum-tum-ti-tum-tum".

Perhaps you'll like
that one better.

Have you ever felt like this
about anyone else?

You mean got into
bed with them?

No.

Of course not, silly.

I mean...
felt like this about them?

You mean you have got into
bed with somebody else?

No, I mean... have you ever felt
that for the first time in your life,

you've met someone you really can
believe in with your whole heart?

Someone whose goals suddenly
seem to be your goals.

Whose dreams become
your dreams.

Have you ever been to
bed with anyone else?

Why do you go
on about that?

You've felt like this before.

It, it was different.

What was she like?

Well, I didn't know
her very well...

But, but you loved her
all the same?

- We never went to bed together.
- Why do you go on about that?

You have been to bed with
somebody else, haven't you?

- I've never loved anybody!
- I've never been to bed with anybody!

- Aud? Open up!
- It's my father.

I know you're in there.

Aud?
Do you hear me?

Oh no!
Halfdan!

- I would walk right in and surprise you.
- Throw this over you.

Right!

Well...
Where is he?

- Who father?
- Who?

- Who, whoever you've got in here of course!
- But there is no one, father.

I smell one of those foreigners.
That's who it is, isn't it?

- He's the fifth one this week.
- Fifth?

- All right, where is he? - There's no
one here, father. Look for yourself.

He wouldn't
be a midget, Father!

Ah! So you admit there could be
someone here.

- Ah, you're losing your temper!
- Of course I'm not, my dear.

I'd never lose my temper.

Oh dear, more visitors!

Ah-ha, right!

Come on! Come out of there!
Come out like a man. I know you're in there.

It's all in your
own mind, father.

It's you who is always imagining that
I'm up here with some man or other.

I don't know how
you do it, Aud...

I sometimes think you've got some
of your mother's magic in you.

There's no magic, father.
My mother had no magic.

She did, I tell you! She could blind me
as easily as the night the day.

- Oh, it's your fantasy.
- But I'll catch you.

Like I caught her.

"The Cloak Invisible".
It was my mother's parting gift.

Fifth one this week?

- Can I have my shirt back please?
- Oh for goodness' sake!

And I thought you said it
was something special.

Oh, Erik, that's just what I
am trying to tell you, you are.

- Five this week, how many the week before?
- Oh! You're as bad as my father.

- And the week before that?
- Erik!

- Erik!
- Yes?

I just want to help you
to get to Asgaard.

- I mustn't let him land!
- Who?

Halfdan the Black.

I feel strange.

What?
Sort of wobbly and excited?

- Sort of.
- Oh, that's fear.

Thorfinn doesn't know
the meaning of fear.

Is it sort of like a sinking
feeling in your stomach?

- That's it! - But you're not
even afraid of death, Thorfinn!

- I know, I know.
- It's magic.

What magic?

I've heard of a magic that strikes fear
into the heart so you cannot fight.

- Yes! I can feel it.
- I always feel like this!

- It's not magic! It's just a trick!
- Don't you feel it?

All right. If they're using magic,
we'll use magic of our own!

Aud!

Why didn't you come
up by the stairs?

- Just give me a hand.
- I mean, you could have killed yourself.

- Where's the Cloak Invisible?
- Why?

I can't see it! Have you got
another man in here already?

It's in that chest.

- There isn't another man. Oh no, no.
- I'll bring it back.

- No, Erik, you don't understand.
- No. It's you who doesn't understand.

Halfdan the Black has
come to kill and destroy.

We brought him here.
We must stop him.

- You don't realize...
- Goodbye, Aud.

- Thanks!
- No, wait, Erik.

The Cloak Invisible, it only
seems to work on my father!

- And a sort of slightly sick feeling?
- That's right!

And you keep wanting
to go to the toilet.

Oh, yes.
I noticed that.

Shut up, you two.
You're making us all nervous.

So, Halfdan the Black's
using magic, is he?

Well, I have here a magic
to match his!

- What is it?
- A magic dish cloth.

To the oars!

Row!

Row!

Row!
Row!

You incomprehensible,

horizontal eyed Western
trouser-wearers!

Row!

You all look the same to me!

Row!

Row!

How I abominate your milk drinking
and your lack of ancestor worship...

and your failure...

to eat your lunch
out of little boxes!

I don't think it would be so bad,
if we knew what he was saying.

Silence!

Unceremonious...

rice pudding eaters!

How I despise your
lack of subtlety,

and your joined up writing.

You who have
never committed...

ritual suicide in your life!

Erik!

- What magic have you brought?
- You'll see!

Open wide.

All right!
Here it is.

Here is the magic from
the King's daughter!

- How did he do that then?
- Do what?

- Vanish.
- He hasn't.

Where is he then?

He's there!

Oh, dear!

I've done it.

Oh, yes.

Oh! Scary, scary,
don't we look mean?

You can't see me!
But I can see you!

Your big breasted women give me no
pleasure with their warmed up fish...

What's the matter? Haven't you
seen anybody fight before?

- No. They're usually too scared of us.
- Kill him!

There, that's a true Berserk.

Well I'm...
I'm just building up to it, Dad.

The fear's gone!

Kill!

Now you see me...
Now you don't.

What?

- Well, come on!
- I... I...

Hang the Blacksmith's Code!

I am the air!
I am the wind!

Fight damn you, fight!

- Well go on, go berserk!
- Oh give us a chance, dad!

- What about you, why don't you go berserk?
- Got to keep my eye on him.

This is the life, eh?

Erik!
Kill!

Thorfinn!
Look out!

Now row.
Row, you moron!

Thorfinn!

You can't die!

I'm not frightened
of anything.

You'll see my grandfather
in Valhalla.

No... he's not... not there.

Tell him I'm coming.

No! Wait, wait, Erik.
Erik, wait.

Loki.
What are you doing here?

Halfdan wanted to stop
you waking the Gods so,

I disguised myself to
sabotage their plans.

- To save you, Erik.
- But...

It, it was my master Keitel's idea.
Wasn't it, Keitel?

Well I...

Yes.
I thought that...

But...

How is it that you can see me?
You can all see me?

- What do you mean?
- Why shouldn't we see you?

- Well, I'm wearing the Cloak Invisible.
- Oh, there you are.

You mean you could all
see me this whole time?

- Weren't we supposed to?
- Oh! I feel a little er...

Erik, we are grateful to
you and to your men.

- Yes, we are. - And there is only
one way we know to repay you.

Musicians!

We would love to hear
you sing again, but,

what we'd really appreciate would be,
if you could see your way to lending

not giving of course,
but just lending us the... um...

well, to be quite blunt,
the Horn Resounding.

It's yours.

- Is that it? - Is there something
the matter with it?

No, no, it's just I didn't
expect it to be quite so big.

Well, it's not called Horn
Resounding for nothing, you know.

- You do know how to play
the horn, do you? - What?

- You do know how to play the
horn, do you? - Yes, sir, yes.

Then I expect you'll be leaving
first thing in the morning, eh?

Keitel.

Keitel Blacksmith.

Let's talk, Keitel Blacksmith.

Have you forgotten why
you came on this voyage?

Do you want Erik to
wake the Gods?

How can we stop him now?

Take this. And throw it from
the cliff heights.

They'll never be able to make the
Horn Resounding sound without it.

Why me?
Why don't you do it?

Hurry!

Surely you haven't forgotten
your Blacksmith's Oath?

Hurry!

Or I might have to tell Erik why
you really came on this voyage.

Who's that?

It's only me.

I was just going out
to water the dragon.

Clumsy idiot.

The Blacksmith's Code.

- Keitel!
- What?

- What are you doing, Keitel Blacksmith?
- Get away, Snorri.

- What have you got there?
- Get off!

Snorri... get back...

Oh, no!

Oh, Gods!

What have we done?

Stay calm!
This is not happening.

What did he say?

Now, I know what some
of you must be thinking,

the day has come we're
all going down, etc, etc.

But let's get away from the
fantasy and look at the facts.

We, er, do seem to be going down
quite fast, Your Majesty.

Not trying to contradict you,
of course.

Oh no, no, of course you're not, citizen.
But let's stick to the facts.

The threat of total destruction has
kept the peace here in Hy-Brasil,

for one thousand years.

So whatever else is happening,
you can rest assured,

Hy-Brasil is not sinking.

Repeat: Not sinking!

May I just make a point in support
of what King Arnulfs just said?

Oh, we, we'd be delighted,
wouldn't we?

Yes, we'd certainly like to hear
what one of us has got to say.

Save yourselves!
Hy-Brasil is sinking.

Ah, but you don't know
our safety precautions.

- It can't happen.
- But it is, look!

I've already appointed the
Chancellor as chairman of

a full committee of inquiry
into exactly what is going on,

- and in the meantime, I suggest
we have a sing-song! - Good idea!

I can't swim!

Relax!
Relax!

Relax?
I'm drowning!

Help!
I can't swim!

Help!

- Let go!
- Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Excuse me!

You hit him!

Well, that's what
you're supposed to do.

- Isn't it?
- Look!

Aud!

- You know, I think we're getting better.
- How can you tell?

Father!

It's all right,
it's not happening!

- Father, it is!
- Get on board!

- No thanks!
- Who do you think you are?

- Panic-mongers!
- Come on over here!

- Leave us alone!
- Yeah. Leave 'em alone.

- It's sinking! Hy-Brasil is sinking!
- Well, my dear, I think

you'll find it's all a question of
what you want to believe in

and I happen to have more experience
of these matters than you do I think.

Father.

It's times like this my child,
when this book and I... right.

We must blow
the first note.

The note that will
take us to Asgaard.

Over the Edge of the World.

We are going where only
the dead have been before.

Here, let me have a go.

- It's all so hard. - You're
not using the right technique.

No!
No, I'm doing it!

- Look, you're always telling me...
telling me... - Stop it!

Why can't you let me do
something for myself?

- Just the once!
- No!

Don't fight! We're never going to get
where we want to go if you fight.

Um, don't blow it, you don't
know what might happen.

It has not spoken for
a thousand years.

You must bring it to life...

with a kiss.

Help!

- What are you doing?
- What do you think we're doing? Help!

Somebody help us?

- Shut up!
- She wants to kill us!

She wants to take us over
the Edge of the World!

There is no Edge of the World.
There is no dragon... Right!

- You do want to get to Asgaard, don't you?
- How do we know that's the way?

- We blew the Horn Resounding.
- She blew the Horn Resounding!

Don't you see, Erik!
She wants revenge!

- What are you talking about?
- Shut up!

- She knows it was our fault!
- Shut your mouth, Keitel!

No, Loki!

- I should never have listened to you!
- You've lost your mind!

We came to stop you
waking the Gods, Erik!

But I didn't want
anyone to get hurt!

You fool!

- I should have got rid of you long ago!
- Like you got rid of Snorri?

No!

No!
We are in the spell of the Horn!

- Hatred will destroy us.
- That's right!

Hatred will destroy you.

He killed Snorri! He caused the
land of Hy-Brasil to sink!

- She knew!
- I didn't know!

Now she wants to take us over
the Edge of the World!

Well, how else do you think
we're going to get to Asgaard?

Do you know the way to Asgaard,
Keitel Blacksmith?

Do you, Sven?
There is only one road before us...

and it leads over
the Edge of the World.

No! Don't look over the Edge!
Don't!

- Let me see!
- No. Don't look.

- The abyss will suck away your strength.
- I must look! Keitel! Hold this!

What do they see?

- You still want to go to Asgaard?
- Of course.

Do you believe I love you?
You don't have to love me.

Just...
you believe I love you?

Yes, I do.

Then let go!

- I'm still seeing stars.
- We're all seeing stars.

No!
I was hit on the head.

Wake up!

Don't sleep!

Wake up!

Bi-Frost...

The Rainbow Bridge.

Wake up.
Wake up!

Are we dead?

Asgaard!

- Where?
- Up there, you fathead.

Look at it.

It's real.

Hallucinations are real.

Blow the second note.

The second note.

The note to wake the Gods.

Gently.

Erik! You've done
what you came to do?

Not quite.

Blow the third note.
The note to take you home.

There is something
I must ask the Gods.

No living man has ever
entered the Halls of Asgaard.

The Gods will never
let you return.

I came to find
my grandfather.

I have to go...

- Then I shall come too.
- No... no...

I don't want to
live without you.

Oh, Aud, I guess...

I... I came here to find...
someone.

I'm sorry.

I really am.

Valhalla!

There, you see?

- It's solid!
- It's real.

Now do you believe us?

There's nothing there.

If you see...

Ha, ha, ha!

You're all having me on,
aren't you?

It's Valhalla.

Where the warriors
slain in battle go.

It doesn't exist for him.

He hasn't got an
ounce of faith in him!

Right.

Listen!

Oh, good,
it's Mr. Wonderful!

I've come to take you back
to the land of the living.

What a stupid idea.

Why?

Well, what's the point of being
dead in the land of the living?

I'll ask the Gods to
give you life again!

Who is he talking to?
Right.

Have you ever tried asking
the Gods for anything?

No.

- Odin!
- I'm busy.

Odin?

He's busy.

- Is that Odin? - You'll have to
wait till he's finished his game.

Odin!

We come from the
world of Midgard.

Clear off.

No, wait, Thor.

- You have to help us.
- We don't have to help anybody.

Fenrir the Wolf covers the Sun.
Men fight and kill each other all the time.

This is ridiculous.

Why should we care?

- Because you're the Gods.
- So?

So bring the Age of Ragnarok to an end
and stop all this fighting and bloodshed.

Erik the Viking, the things
you seek are not in our power.

We don't make men love each other,
or hate each other.

But, you're the Gods.

Look Erik...

Dad?

How can you tell?

I'll never forget him.

- The bastard!
- Dad.

- He drove me mad!
- Easy, Dad!

All his "You'll never be a berserk
if you lose your temper!"

- I hate you!
- Dad!

- I hate you!
- Dad!

You won, Sven.

What right have you to try and
stop men fighting, Erik the Viking?

There is glory in battle.
Riches to be made and won.

Made by you, Loki!

By you, Keitel Blacksmith.

Don't you know, Erik,
that's why he went with you.

Ragnarok was good
for his business.

It's not my business any more!

Fenrir the Wolf is gone, Erik.

But will men cease fighting each other?
That is not in our power.

I have one more request,
before we return.

Return? You have set your foot
in the Halls of Asgaard, Erik.

- You cannot return.
- But it's all in your imagination.

- Whatever it is.
- You're the only one who can do it.

Please.

Oh, allright.

You mean we must
stay here forever?

Stay here? This is Valhalla.
This is reserved for those slain-in-battle.

- Yeah, we're the lucky ones!
- Yeah, it's better than dying of old age.

For you there is only
the Pits of Hell.

Son!
My son!

- Get lost!
- Dad!

- Grandfather!
- Sven!

- I tried to save you.
- Why should you care?

I don't know!
I just did!

- Erik!
- No. Let go, Snorri!

- I've got you!
- Hold on!

I've got you!

I've got you, Sven!

Listen!
Listen!

The third note!

I want to go home.

I don't believe it!
It brought us home!

- But who blew it!?
- Well, who cares, we're home!

- Mum! Dad!
- We're home!

Throw down your weapons
or we kill the children.

Get 'em back!

Well, now we'll kill
the children anyway.

Mind your heads!

Harald!

Mum! Mum!
Hello, mum!

My boy!
My boy!

Look!

Subtitle:
Completely fixed: titler