All language subtitles for Sherlock.Gnomes.2018.720p.BluRay.x264-GECKOS

Welcome. You're just in time for
our story. An epic detective adventure.

Sherlock Holmes, the greatest...

- Let's do "Gnomeo and Juliet" instead!
- We've already done that.

- I know! "Game of Gnomes"!
- Or "The Gnome Ranger."

No, we're doing this.

Sherlock Holmes,
the greatest detective of all time.

And ours will be the best ever.

Because our Sherlock is a...

- Let's do "The Twilight Gnome."
- No!

Or "Spider-Man: Gnomecoming."

Or "Indiana Gnomes."

No! Because our Sherlock is a garden gnome!

He's a garden gnome! Okay?

Why didn't you just say that?

Prepare for a tale of suspense,
intrigue, and mystery.

Mystery.

Prepare for "Sherlock Gnomes."

The final clue.
The kidnapped gnomes are in the museum.

And seconds away from being smashed!

We shall see about that.

Show yourself, Moriarty!

Help! I'm stuck!

Oh, Sherlock.
How can I resist a request like that?

Ta-da! Here I am!
Your favorite evil pie mascot.

Though I said "evil," I do cry at sad films.

I'm very complex. Don't try and get me.

Shirley. Could I call you that?

You are just in time
to see these gnomes go extinct.

This stops now, Moriarty.

Be honest, Sherlock.
You enjoy our little game as much as I do.

This is no game. I am the sworn protector
of London's garden gnomes.

If you are the sworn protector
of the city's gnomes,

then I am their sworn destroyer!

And we will keep playing
this little game, Sherlock,

until I crush every last gnome in London.

I'll stop you until the day I die.

Oh, lightbulb moment. What is it?

Yeah, today's that day.

Come, Sherlock. Come dance with me.

Ow!

No!

Fudge buckets.

Sherlock!

Hooray, Sherlock! Yay!

No thanks needed. It is my sworn duty
to protect you. No hugs.

- Oh, Watson.
- Yes, Sherlock?

Yours, I believe.

It's over, Watson.

With Moriarty gone, London is once again
safe for all garden gnomes.

Our new home in London.

Doesn't it look lovely?

It's a long way from Stratford-upon-Avon.

But a lot closer to the grandkids.

We'll feel better
once we get our gnomes in the garden.

London. A brand-new adventure for us...

and our star-crossed lovers,

Gnomeo and Juliet.

Let's go out and buy an expensive coffee.
That's what people do around here.

I've been practicing my order.

A skinny triple shot soy latte, extra dry.

What a dump!

Where's the new garden?

This is the new garden, Fawn.

No, no, I'm going back in the box.

This garden is:

This garden is...

Girls! Language.

I guess it's a... fixer-upper?

Well, I think that it's the most
beautiful garden in the world...

because you're standing in it.

- That was super cheesy.
- Aw, seriously?

I practiced that line in the car
for about ten minutes.

It was, like, awful.

I bet there's a pretty good view up there.

I'll let you know when I get there first.

Right, come here.

You win.

Come here!

Think of all the adventures we're gonna have.

Juliet, come down this instant,
before you fall.

When is he gonna realize
you're the toughest gnome in the garden?

Now that was a good line.

She loves me. She loves me not.
She loves me...

Hi, Nanette.

I think someone's got a crush on someone.

Maybe.

Maybe they have a crush on you back.

Do you really think so?

I don't know. I don't know who it is, do I?

- Gather 'round, everyone.
- Come on, everybody!

Choppity-chop! We have an announcement.

Lord Redbrick and I are officially retiring.

We both think a new garden
is the perfect opportunity

to name new leaders.

Gnomeo and Juliet.

Us?

Hooray for nepotism. Unbelievable.

Gnomeo and Juliet will lead us
in preparing the garden for winter.

As soon as the garden blooms in the spring...

we'll have a Seedling Ceremony to celebrate.

Come along, dear.

Look at this place. Isn't it perfect?

It's awful.

Unbelievably awful. But it is ours.

Yeah, it's ours. And I'm gonna show
this garden who's boss.

Watson! Look what you've done to the globe.

Me? You're the one who kicked it.

Because you ducked. The very reason you're
wearing padding is so I can kick you.

I am not your punching bag!

Don't be absurd. Of course you are.

How I miss having a proper enemy.

Well, I'm sorry I'm not Moriarty.

Sherlock! Watson! Just look at this mess!

How many times have I told you?

If you want to practice fighting,
do it outside!

We're sorry, Mrs. Udderson.

Sherlock Gnomes! Sherlock Gnomes!

And Dr...

Finally, a new case.

- What seems to be the trouble?
- It's my friends.

All my friends. The whole garden.
They've disappeared. They're all gone!

A whole garden?

Watson, gnomes are in danger.
To the scene of the crime.

Breaking news! While London prepares
for its largest fireworks display ever...

something barely newsworthy
is happening in London's gardens.

Someone is stealing innocent gnomes.

Like Barry. Barry was just sitting there,
doing nothing. Now he's gone.

And Barry is just the tip of the iceberg.

Susan, Tim, Brad, gone.

This weird gnome
with his sparkly piano, gone!

These gnomes on a pig.
I hope that's not ham on that pizza.

All gone! The list goes on.

When contacted, the police said:

We have no time for this.
Please don't contact us again.

They're clearly swamped.

Some say it's a job for Sherlock Gnomes.

Others say it's a slow news day.

All right, Barbara, time for bed.

Humans are tiresomely naive.

It is an ornamental crime on a scale
we have never seen before.

This garden alone lost ten gnomes today.

Grass, perfectly even. Soil, undisturbed.

Ant colony, thriving.

- Do you see it, Watson?
- Yes, there are no footprints.

Someone kidnapped all the gnomes
from this backyard...

without leaving a single footprint.

A gnome can dream.

Benny.

So, have you talked to the lucky lady yet?
Told your mystery crush you adore her?

Funny you should say that. No.

Why not? Is she that scary? Is she?

She can be.

La vida buena.

Don't work too hard, Mankini. You've only
been lying there for four days.

Sun's out, buns out!

I'm okay.

We said we'd plant these
next to the shed, remember?

Yeah, but they look better there.

Oh, all right. I suppose.

Let me help you with that.

- I feel sick.
- Me, too.

This garden is still missing something.
Something special.

I was just thinking that.
You know what would be great?

Something that will tie
the whole garden together.

What about... a new centerpiece?

I'm gonna throw up.

I've got it. We need a new centerpiece.

That's exactly what I just said.

Never mind, great minds think alike.
Am I right?

There's so much to do.
I better get started on it.

Awkward.

Don't you worry. I know her.

And she was hanging on to your every word.

I think he bought it.

Ever since we took over the garden,

it's like she's not listening to me anymore.

Oh, sorry, I wasn't listening.
But I have got an idea.

You should do a grand romantic gesture.

Something reckless and life-threatening.

This is going to be a terrible idea

Yes

I've got it!

Go to the zoo and steal a lion!
Then fight the lion in front of Juliet.

I am not fighting a lion.

It doesn't have to be a lion.
It could be a tiger, or an angry penguin.

It's either that or flowers.

That's it! I'll get her our special flower
for the centerpiece.

Nanette, you're a genius.

Benny, can you give me a hand with something?

Step into my office.

The previous owners left a bunch
of amazing electronics in here.

Benny and Nanette
Benny and Nanette

It was on the computer when I found it.

Yeah, mate. Yeah, sure it was.

Right. Image search.

All right, type in "Cupid's Arrow Orchid".

You just have to hit it. Just click it.

Just click the thing! You don't have
to type the whole sent... All right.

Tell me when you see it.

That's the one!

First time we met
we was trying to get one of those.

So, we just need to find a flower shop
that sells them.

Zero-point-eight miles.

And looks like there's a massive blue line
on the ground you can follow.

Isn't that handy?

Let's do this.

I'll have eyes and ears on you at all times.

All right, mate? Let's go liberate a flower!

Tiny Dancer, come in, Tiny Dancer.

This is Benny 101 dash brackets the Benlord

closed brackets exclamation mark
smiley-face emoji dollar sign dollar sign.

- You have got to pick another code name.
- There's no time.

Benny, can you...

Benny 101 dash brackets the Benlord
closed brackets exclamation mark

smiley-face emoji dollar sign dollar sign.
Yes?

Can you pull up the shop's blueprints
and show me the best entry points?

Yes, I can.

No, I can't.

You ca... I see a ventilation shaft.
Will that get me inside?

I have no idea. It might. Over.

All right, I'm in.

Nice work, Tiny Dancer.

That must be the burglar alarm.
What's your plan, Tiny D?

Just the usual. Totally wing it, risk life
and limb, escape by the skin of my teeth.

I call it "pulling a Gnomeo."

And... don't call me Tiny D.

Gnomeo? Hey, Benny, have you seen Gnomeo?

No! Well, maybe.

Is that Gnomeo? He left the garden?

- Where is he? What is he doing?
- Oh, no.

Oh, fertilizer.

Next time, remember to have an escape plan.

If there is a next time.

Hurry.

Eight gardens of gnomes vanish into thin air.

No clues. Not so much as a single footprint.

There is only one ornament
evil enough and brilliant enough

to pull off such a diabolical scheme.

Moriarty!

Moriarty? But that's impossible.
Moriarty was smashed. We saw it.

We can't have seen the complete picture.
He's alive.

How could he possibly have survived?

Anyway, Moriarty always left us a clue,
his calling card.

Yes. What am I missing?

Watson, give me your map.

The gnomes that just moved in...
where do they live?

I believe right here.

Do you see, Watson?
Moriarty has left his calling card...

"M!" Hurry, Watson!
Those gnomes are in terrible danger.

Juliet! Wait! Stop! I...

I can explain.

What on earth were you thinking?

I was getting this!

Remember this?

You risked getting smashed for some flower?

Not some flower, our flower.
I did this for you.

You did this for me? For me?

I've got responsibilities.
I don't have time for this!

No, you just don't have time for us.

There will be plenty of time for us
after I get the garden ready.

Unbelievable! What do you care more
about, the garden or me?

- You're being ridiculous!
- That is not an answer.

The garden can't wait and you can!

Gnomeo, help!
There's something here! It's a...

Benny! What's going on?

- Dad!
- Mom!

- Nanette!
- Benny!

Ju, they're all gone.

We're too late.

Please step back.

This is an active crime scene.

Who are you
and what are you doing in our garden?

Your garden? Where were the two of you
when this happened?

Oh, they were having a lovers' quarrel.

See how she's facing away from him?
She's angry with him.

The flower in his hand was intended
as a romantic gesture,

a desperate act that predictably backfired.

Oi!

Watson, search the west quadrant.

If that fiend is behind this,
he will have left his calling card.

What's this?

- Let me see that.
- Tell me what it is.

It's a clue. It will lead us
to our next destination.

If you ever want to see your friends
and family again, you'll hand it over.

The nine.

There is a slight crack in its leg.

Where have I seen
this particular nine before?

Nine, nine, nine, nine...

Nine! I've got it!

To Chinatown, Watson.

The game is afoot.

Mate, you're going nowhere...

Stay here! We're on the case.

- What a complete and total...
- Get up. We're going after them.

Wait!

Wait!

All ahead full, Watson.

No, wait for us!

Hold on!

Forget them! We can handle this ourselves.

Or do the exact opposite. Your call.

Keep those tablets coming, Watson.

The water level. It's dropping.

Cut the engines!

Now tell us what happened to our family.

We don't have time for this.
Will you please step aside?

Not until you tell us what's going on.

- Too late.
- What's too late?

Oh, here they come.

And now we have a rat problem,
thanks to these meddlesome amateurs.

If you don't want to get trampled,
I suggest you help Watson pull.

Come on! Give me a hand.

Oh, phew.

"Phew"? Young gnome,

what exactly do you think
those rats were running from?

Oh, no.

There! That's our way out!

Sherlock! Hold on!

Are you okay?

You were saying something about
"meddlesome amateurs"?

I stand by that assessment.

But if you insist on meddling, perhaps
you could supplement Watson's efforts.

How thoughtful.

- What did you say your names were?
- We didn't.

- I'm Gnomeo.
- Juliet.

I'm Sherlock Gnomes,
the world's first consulting detective

and sworn protector
of London's garden gnomes.

- And I am...
- No time for that now, Watson.

To the surface! We've not a moment to lose.

Look, now we're on the team,
how about you tell us what's going on?

Starting with this.

The "M" stands for
Sherlock's archenemy, Moriarty.

Moriarty's pies
The taste that makes you smile

Filled with goobarb syrup
Makes you eat it all the while

Some ornaments are just manufactured evil.

And Moriarty was the most evil of the lot.

For years, Moriarty terrorized
the ornamental world...

until he met his match in Sherlock Gnomes.

Suddenly he had a worthy opponent.

And beating Sherlock became his obsession.

So Moriarty began to play his terrible game.

He would kidnap gnomes...

leave a trail of clues
as to their location...

and challenge us to find them
within 24 hours or he'd smash them.

- He's gonna smash our friends and family?
- So, how do we stop him?

We play his game. For now.

We follow his trail of clues
and find the gnomes.

The nine with a crack in its leg.

Just as I remembered. Curly Fu's Emporium.

Let's go 'round the back.

The next clue will be inside.

If you recall, the last time we were here
it was a bit of a catastrophe.

Yes. I have a memory
of some slight unpleasantness.

Put these on so we don't get spotted.

Now, just act natural.

- I think that suits you.
- Shh. Focus.

There, you see? We're blending in perfectly.

I'm fairly sure we've been spotted.

Her Highness,
the Grand Empress dowager Pom-Pom!

Empress Pom-Pom remembers you,
Sherlock Gnomes.

Oh, good, good.

Not fondly.

Well, that's less good, isn't it?

I see you got the orchid I sent
to apologize for our last encounter.

A gracious gift.

But you are not the one
who offended the Empress, Sherlock is.

As such, I'm afraid
I must ask you all to leave.

Shake it, shake it, shake it. Out, out, out!

He's very sorry.

Tell her how sorry you are.

I'm sorry that I wasted my time
solving your case.

Now, technically, that was an apology.

Dozens of gnomes are in danger,

so would you kindly step aside
and let me continue my investigation?

No.

Please. We just need to take
a look around. It's very important.

Wait, wait, wait. Let me explain.

Wait. I'm warning you. Back off!

Guards!

Watson, you fend them off.
I'm going clue hunting.

Right. Here we go again.

You help Watson, I'll help Sherlock.

- Oh, great.
- You can handle it.

I was always more of a dog person anyway.

- What are you looking for?
- An assistant who asks fewer questions!

- Are you always this rude?
- That's a question.

That should not be here.

A clock is a terribly offensive gift
in Chinese culture.

How cryptic.

Classic Moriarty.

- A plane? Is that the clue?
- "NV."

All part of Moriarty's game.

Curious. A different pattern.

What's that supposed to mean?
Let me see that.

Miss Juliet, you must trust me.

My methods may be unconventional,
but I will find your family and friends.

We should go.

Other way!

Suction cups.

Paper lanterns. That might work.

Gnomeo!

This way. Hurry up.

Watson, that lamp across the street.

Put these on. Follow me! Quickly now.

You may want to go faster.

Thanks for the tip.

Come on!

Come on! Bring your lanterns.

Get ready with those suction cups.
On my mark.

Wait, what are we doing?

Jumping, of course.

Have you solved the clue?
Where are we going next?

I'll explain later. Right now, just hold on.

We'll have to jump onto that tree!

The Natural History Museum.

The site of our last showdown with Moriarty.

Of course!
That's where the clue is leading us.

Oh, don't be absurd. Moriarty would
never choose such an obvious location.

All right, smart guy, what's your plan?

Well, if you must know, we are going
to the De Jong Modern Art Gallery.

I haven't cracked the latest clue yet,
and the art helps me ruminate.

That's your plan? Art and thinking?

The museum's right there.
Let's just go check it out.

Mate, think about it. You beat this guy
in the museum, and now he wants revenge.

Don't you get it? He's waiting for you
at the museum, he wants a rematch.

Plus, we can get in right there.

Are you...? Is he even listening to me?
He's not listening. Look.

Oh, good, you stopped talking.
Now we can go to the gallery.

You know what? Good luck with that.
We're going to the museum.

Let's just go to the gallery.

Are you serious?
You're seriously choosing him over me?

I'm not choosing anyone. Sherlock knows
this Moriarty guy and you don't.

We're supposed to be a team.
Gnomeo and Juliet, remember?

We are a team.

It doesn't feel like it. It hasn't
felt like it since we moved here.

Oh, Gnomeo.

Are you with me or not?

Don't do this.

And there it is.

Good. Now we can go to the gallery.

- Should we go after him?
- No! No, we should not.

But you may.

Oh, Sherlock Gnomes.

Don't worry. I'll get him back.

Gnomeo!

Gnomeo?

Oh, don't make me say it.

Wherefore art thou, Gnomeo?

- You all right, mate?
- Oh! Cheese and crackers!

Oh, it's just you.

We were hoping you'd join us at the gallery.

Not gonna happen, mate. We are right
about the museum. Let's show 'em.

Why do you keep looking back?
He just severed your partnership.

We didn't break up. It was just a fight.

- Hmm.
- What exactly does "Hmm" mean?

It means you were young and in love,

but your new garden duties were too much
for a young couple to handle.

Likelihood of a breakup: 99%.

99%?

I rounded down.

Look, you just focus on finding my friends
and family. Gnomeo and I will be fine.

- Did you see that?
- No footprints. Of course.

Oh, no. Quickly.

Look, I know you're angry.

How would you feel? It's like
she doesn't even care about me!

A partner who takes you for granted.
Can't think of what that's like.

I don't know how you put up with that gnome.

If we had six months,
I'd list all his faults.

But despite them,
he is a brilliant detective.

We all have our good sides and bad sides.

Sherlock, Miss Juliet...

me.

Do you know what, mate? You're right.
I shouldn't have left her.

I need to go back. I need to make this right.

What is that?

I'm a gargoyle, mate!
Also, your worst nightmare!

Come here!

Go on. Run.

You're never gonna get away
on those stubby little legs!

Up there!

Oi, ugly! Over here!

Go!

Ugly, am I?

Gotcha.

Do you know up close
you're actually quite handsome?

Now. Let's go.

Gnomeo!

Watson.

No.

Come along, Miss Juliet.

We must keep going.

All those gnomes are depending on us.

Sherlock, I don't know what to say.
I can't imagine what you're feeling.

This is the darkest day of my career.

I cannot believe that Moriarty
is working with gargoyles!

Wait, what?

As soon as this case is over,
I must retrieve Watson's map.

That's what you care about?
Gargoyles and some stupid map?

It's one of a kind. In the wrong hands...

Gnomeo got taken. He is gone!

And Watson just got smashed.
Why aren't you sad or angry?

Sadness and anger will not help me
save one single gnome.

Emotion is the enemy of logic.

That is not an answer.

The case can't wait. You can.

Oh, Gnomeo.

Oi! Ronnie!

This one's a handful.

What, I got to babysit?

And you get to do all the creeping
and the kidnapping and fun stuff?

Two words, Reggie: un... fair.

The boss likes me more than he likes you.
I can't help that.

Let me out, you big...

- Gnomeo.
- Mum!

Oh, thank goodness.
Did those awful monsters hurt you?

Mum, I'm fine.

Juliet's not with you.
Where is she? Is she okay?

I don't know. She's still out there.
We split up and I need to get back to her.

She dumped you. I knew it!

I don't know why you thought you could
fix things with a grand romantic gesture.

That is just dumb.

Talk about pulling a Gnomeo!

She didn't dump me, no thanks to you.

Wait. "Pulling a Gnomeo"
means doing something cool.

Oh, yeah. Right. That's totally
how we all use that phrase.

What's going on here?

Apparently gnomes were going missing.
These guys got worried about us.

So they brought us here for safekeeping.

They're gonna take us home
after this Fireworks Night thingy.

Yeah, they even promised us a "big surprise."

They did that when they said it,
which I thought seemed a bit ominous.

Like we weren't gonna get a big surprise...

or if we do, it's gonna be something
really unspeakably horrific.

But it might just be balloons!

Oh, that's great, guys. You go have fun.

Hola, Gnomeo.

We're in trouble.

We know, dear.
We didn't want to worry the others.

How bad is it?

This guy Moriarty,
he's gonna smash us all tomorrow night.

We're going to be smashed?

This guy said we're all going to be
smashed tomorrow!

Smashed?

That's not a very good surprise.

Quiet down... now.

You're giving me a headache.
And I'm not very nice with a headache.

Come on. Miss Juliet, I've got it!
I've cracked...

I believe I've cracked the clue.

Right up the back of my nose.

The circle on the toy plane is a symbol
used by the Royal Air Force.

And the squadron code "NV" said quickly
form the word "envy,"

as in "green with envy".

Which gives us "royal" and "green".

The plane itself
is the last piece of the puzzle...

for the planatus tree, or "plane tree,"
is the most common tree

in Royal Green Park!

It's nearly 9:00. We're running
out of time to save those gnomes.

Sherlock, it's broad daylight.

How are we supposed to get around a park
without anyone seeing us?

Fear not. I am not just
a master of deduction.

I am also a master of disguise.

Sorry.

Come on, let's go.

Left, right. Left, right. Now scurry.

Stop!

Careful.

Now wag your tail. Go on, wag it. Quickly.

Wag it!

Just when I think
you couldn't get more annoying.

Oh, that is the least realistic
tail-wagging I have ever seen.

Forgive me. I've never been
the back end of a squirrel before.

You should have told me that
before I took you on as my assistant.

I'm not your...

Do you hear that?

That's not a bird.

That's the call
of the Peruvian snapping turtle.

Where is it?

Aha!

The Peruvian snapping turtle
is famous for burying its eggs.

He must have buried the clue.

Oh. It's been dug up by...

Don't move.

It's just a dog.

That is no mere dog.

That, my dear, is the hound
owned by the Baskervilles.

And, in this very park,
that very hound bit me!

And I'm siding with the dog here.

First Chinatown, now this fleabag.

This is no coincidence.

Careful. The clue is stuck to a squeaky toy.

Easy does it.

Gently.

Got it.

Quietly now.

And whatever you do, don't...

Good doggy! Good doggy!

- This way!
- No, this way.

Now hold on tight.

Let go!

Who's... a... good... doggy?

Just grab the clue!

Got it!

There. That wasn't so...

bad!

Miss Juliet, for future reference,

that's not how a squirrel wags its tail.

This is.

Do you see what I'm doing? See? Do you see?

Yes, you're acting like a rear end.
Can we check out the clue?

Of course this would be next.

Moriarty, you monster!
Forcing me to face my greatest fears!

A button? Really?

Very well. If he wants to dance,
then dance we shall.

Right. He's asleep.

There must be a way out of here.

The door is locked,
so the only way out is the skylight.

But there's no way to get up there.

There has to be.

I'll do whatever it takes to get us out
and back to Juliet.

I've got an idea. I just need a...

Good boy, Shroom.

All right.

I could scale those bricks,
use the Goons to swing to the beam,

tightrope walk across it,
reach the skylight, get around the door,

open it from the other side
and lead everyone to...

Freedom!

Yeah, thanks, Nanette.

If you're going to escape,
we'll need to create a distraction.

What's going on?

He looks like a fairy-tale princess.
I like fairy tales. Don't tell Reggie.

I believe we've just found our distraction.

What?

The button belongs
to my most formidable rival,

the boss of the scariest dive in London.

The Doll Museum?

The Doll Museum!

Gregson.

You sure you want to come in here?

I need to speak to your boss.

Your funeral.

Yikes! Is that the boss?

Not him.

Nope, not him.

Her.

Sherlock Gnomes.

My favorite arm.

You got a lot of nerve
showing your face around here.

Hello, Irene.

Well, you're looking... well.

A letter!
You ended our engagement in a letter.

You two were engaged?

And now, after months of silence,

you show up with this cheap porcelain thing?

I beg your pardon!

She's just my assistant.

I am not your assistant.

Better get your stories straight.

Irene, this is important.
This is one of yours, isn't it?

I don't know, Sherlock. There's
an awful lot of buttons in this city.

Irene, please, just hand over the clue.

Of course. You're only here on work.

But your case can wait. It's showtime.

See if you can deduce who this song is about.

Do I look like I need you?

I'm super deluxe, new improved

Better shape, better off

Stronger than I ever was

Whispers tell a lie
Starts a rumor, makes you cry

It's out there poster size

It's no secret you're no prize

I'd never, ever take you back
I'd walk on fire and broken glass

It's sister time, I'm here to say

I never really liked you

I never really liked you anyway!

You know you're not messing with me
You know you're not messing with me

You know you're not messing with me
You know you're not messing with me

Get on out, it's no man's land

Gonna set you straight, gotta understand

I'm the queen bee because

I'm stronger than I ever...

Stronger than I ever was!

You know you're not messing with me
You know you're not messing with me

No, no!

You know you're not messing with me
You know you're not messing with me

I'd never, ever take you back
I'd walk on fire and broken glass

It's sister time, I'm here to say

I never really liked you

I never really liked you anyway!

Well, that was rather unpleasant.

Really? I thought she made some good points.

Irene will need
at least one hour to cool down.

We don't have an hour.
Gnomeo is still out there.

Listen up, doll! You've got something I need,

and I'm not leaving here without it.

Are you insane?
You cannot provoke Irene like that.

There's no telling what she'll...

You can come in.

You can't.

Oh, hello.

I thought garden gnomes
were all overweight and bearded.

But you're actually...

cute. Hardly any facial hair at all.

Would you like some tea?

No, thank you. I just want...

I've often wondered
what it's like to be a gnome.

Wearing the same red dress every day
would be like a fashion prison for me.

And living outdoors must be awful!

Standing outside in the rain
and the freezing cold. Like a dog.

I don't really have time for this.
My family are in danger.

Please just hand over the clue.

Work, work, work.
Now I see why Sherlock chose you.

Sherlock didn't "choose" me.

And he never will. With Sherlock,
work always comes first.

There's always another case to crack,
another mystery to solve,

another backyard of gnomes to rescue.

- You don't understand.
- Oh, I understand perfectly.

Enough!

I don't care about Sherlock!

He is the single most annoying gnome
I've ever met.

I wouldn't date Sherlock
if he were the last gnome on earth.

I already have a partner,
and he's nothing like Sherlock.

Gnomeo is reckless and emotional.

And he doesn't treat me like an assistant.
He treats me like I'm...

the toughest gnome in the garden.

He believes in me.
He loves me with all his heart.

And if you asked him to choose
between me and work, or anything really...

he'd choose me.

Every time.

A man doesn't make you strong.

You're right, a man doesn't make you strong.

But the right partner can make you stronger.

But I've let mine down.
And now I need to make it right.

All right. I'll give you what you want.

But only on two conditions. First...

you tell Sherlock this had
absolutely nothing to do with him.

And second?

After you save the day,
you come back and tell me all about it.

Well, you got a deal.

"You already know it's all about you.

So what is the pattern in the final clue?"

The patterns.

Where are they leading us?

I've got it!

Traitors' Gate at the Tower of London,
where Watson and I solved our first case.

But it's on the other side of the city.
We're running out of time!

Let's go!

Ladies and gentle-monsters.

What's going on? What are you guys doing?

What's happening?

All right, lads, let's do this.

The Royal Gnome Theater Company proudly
presents "The Princess and the Frog."

Move out of the way. Let me see.

Hello! Princess Benny is here!

I love fairy tales.

Written and directed by me.
Stage design by me. Lighting by...

Keep going.

Once upon a time, a beautiful princess
tiptoed through the forest

when she came across a prince
who had been cursed by an evil witch.

Alas, cursed am I! Transformed into a frog.

Wait a second,
what is wrong with being a frog?

Oi, Meryl Streep, just read the lines.

This is so frogist.

What can lift this terrible spell?

- You can tell a frog didn't write this.
- Actors. Honestly.

The only way to break the curse
was with a kiss.

Great, they're gonna kiss.

Oh, no, I can't.

Kiss the frog!

Kiss the frog!

Why can't you kiss me?

If you love someone, you only want to
kiss them if they want to kiss you back.

But this isn't the girl you love.
It's just me! Me!

Go on! Kiss the frog!

It is just me. Me!

Me, me, me!

Me! Wait. Oh!

Kiss the frog!

What was that?

Just then, a very handsome suitor arrived.

Who are you?

I am Captain Love, AKA The Love Machine,
AKA Baron Von Kissy-Kissy.

Bunnies, give me a beat.

Watch these moves! Whoo!

Come on, bunnies! Let's party!

Dance with me!

All right.

And whatever you do, don't look behind you.

Yes.

- Oh, no.
- Hurry!

Whoo! Party time!

Ronnie, what is going on?

They're putting on a show.

Showtime's over. Bag them up!

Boss says it's time for their big surprise.

We're too late.

Where are the gnomes?

Show yourself, Moriarty!

No, Sherlock. Not Moriarty.

Watson?

But... that's impossible.

Not impossible. Merely improbable.

It wasn't an M. It was a W, for Watson.

But I knew you'd miss that.
Because it had to do with me.

This was my game.

But we saw you fall! We saw you get smashed!

No. You heard me get smashed.

I caught myself before I landed.

As for the sound you heard...

just a flowerpot.

What have you done with the gnomes?
What have you done with Gnomeo?

They're all fine.
They're right behind that door.

Miss Juliet, I am sorry
I had to involve your garden.

But this was the only way
to get through to Sherlock.

You did all this?

But why?

Because we used to be a team.

Sherlock and Watson, friends,
partners in crime-solving.

But over time, you stopped respecting me.

The only ornament you respected was Moriarty.

There was only one way
I could prove myself to you:

I had to pretend to be Moriarty.

I orchestrated this game.
I challenged you to a battle of wits.

And you won. You beat me.

That's all I wanted to hear.

And now you and I are finished.

Maybe you'll treat your next partner
a little better.

Yeah, when you two have quite finished,
can we please free the gnomes now?

Of course. With my apologies.

Since my friends live here at Traitors' Gate,

this was the best place to ensure
the gnomes would be safe.

I designed the room to be
as pleasant as possible.

They've even got mini-golf.

Gnomeo! Dad! Nanette!

Where are they?

Not here. Never were.

What do you mean? What's going on?

Ronnie, why don't you enlighten
our small friend.

Here's the thing, mate.
We don't actually work for you.

What are you talking about?

Sherlock! Do something!

Look at you.

What a loser.

No. No! You can't do this.

What's happening? Where are they taking us?

I don't know. The gnomes,
they were supposed to be there!

Sherlock. Sherlock!

For goodness sake,
will you please just say something?

Limestone.

- He meant say something useful.
- I just did.

The substance on my shoe, it's limestone.

The gargoyles lied.
They are not from Traitors' Gate.

So, if we can deduce
where they're really from...

We'll find the gnomes.

That's why I kicked him. To see
quite literally what he was made of.

The gargoyles also reeked of salt.
Here, taste my shoe.

No. Just keep going.

So the gargoyles must live close to water.

Now, place your hands on this wall.
Do you feel that?

That is the steady thrum of
a marine propulsion engine, meaning...

- We're on a ship.
- The HMS Nimrod, to be precise.

We've just set sail, headed east,

directly towards a structure
which is both on the water

and protected by limestone gargoyles.

Tower Bridge!
The gnomes must be hidden inside.

Oh, no. Now I understand
why he put us on this ship.

Wait. What? Who put us on this ship?

That's impossible. He was smashed. I saw it.

Surprise, Sherlock!

Sorry to not be in touch.
I was pretending to be dead.

Oh, also, I hate you.

Moriarty, how awful to see you.

So how have I been? I've been just peachy!

Took up fishing. Gave up fishing.
It's really boring.

But I did plot your destruction
with the help of my friends here.

Of course,
they were actually working for me!

I mean, I came up with the Sistine Chapel
of evil plans.

It's got a double-cross, a triple-cross,
I was smashed, he was smashed.

I mean, to be fair,
it is needlessly complicated,

but that's what supervillains do!

I know you like it
when you think I don't understand,

but this time I really don't understand.

What happened at the Natural History Museum?

Well, now that's a funny story.

You thought I was deaded.

But I've always been a lucky pie,
and that was my luckiest day ever.

Not only did I not get squished...

in that moment I saw how I could
finally bring you down, Sherlock.

- Yours, I believe.
- I saw how you treated Watson.

Poor old miserabubble Watson.
He looked so sad.

So I thought, I'll use that.

I sent the gargoyles to you, Watson,
and they let you think you were in charge.

As if!

Know what your problem is, Watson?
You're too nice, too trusting.

Too...

Never trust a gargoyle
or prunes past their sell-by date.

While you were playing at supervillains,
I saw your map.

Then I could carry out
the real plan, my plan!

Capturing every single gnome in London.

Selfie time!

Oh, no.

Oh, yes!

They didn't have to be glued down
in a giant M,

but it's the little touches that make
a plan really evil, you know?

He's not there.

Can you guess what happens next?
Here, I'll show you.

Screen share, screen share.
How do I screen...?

This is where we stored
the kidnapped gnomes on the bridge.

Then we brought them to this room here,
for the main event.

And when your warship arrives,

the bridge will rise up
and the 500-ton counterweight will fall...

crushing the gnomes,
making you the very instrument

of their demise.

Yes, you, Sherlock,

will be the unwitting executioner
of every single gnome in London.

So, how do I get out of screen share?

Oh, aha! Oh, Sherlock,
I can see all the cogs turning in there,

trying to work out how to stop me.
But it's too late.

Your pretty boat is nearly here.

The bridge will open
Smashing all the gnomes

And what will you do, Sherlock
When all the gnomes are gone?

I don't know. You tell me.

So the game is not afoot, or a hand,
or a leg. It's just over.

And you lose.

Bye!

So, Watson, on a scale of 1 to 10,
how well do you think this is going?

I never meant for any gnome
to get hurt. You know that.

Hey, knock it off, both of you.

- Watson screwed up, but you did, too.
- What did I do?

The same thing I did. We took our best
friends for granted, we stopped listening.

We stopped giving them
the respect they deserve.

They were the last thing we were thinking
about, they should have been the first.

I suppose somewhere within that
haystack of emotional twaddle

there may lie a thin needle of truth.

One last case.

One last case.

Good.

Now let's get off this ship
and save those gnomes.

Let's go.

It's all clear.

Follow me.

We need that soap.

Of course, to unstick the gnomes
from the pie filling.

Perfect deduction, Watson. Now we need
to find a way to get to Tower Bridge.

I'll drive.

Miss Juliet, maybe we should slow down!

What are we doing up here?
Shouldn't we be saving the gnomes?

The only way to save the gnomes

is to find a way to stop the bridge
from opening.

Clear the bridge. Clear the bridge.

All pedestrians behind the barriers.

HMS Nimrod, this is Tower Bridge.

Commencing your 20:43 bridge lift.

We got to make them think there's still
people on the bridge. Can you handle that?

Absolutely, definitely.
Positively. Piece of cake.

Yes! I must go down and help the others.

- So, what are we doing?
- I don't know.

Well, we got to do something.

Well, we are on a river.

Five, six, seven, eight!

Bloomin' heck!
There's still people on the bridge.

Nimrod, stop your approach.

There are some people on the bridge...
Riverdancing!

Sherlock!

And this is why you don't make
the gloating phone call

until after all the gnomes are smashed.

Can you be a lamb and get me a weapon?
Something lethal but... fun!

Look! Someone must have stopped the bridge!

Gnomeo.

"Move to the city," they said.
"It'll be fun," they said.

Sherlock!

Surely you didn't think
it would be that easy...

Who the heck are you?

- I'm the gnome that's gonna...
- No!

This is my show! I do the one-liners.
You don't get one-liners.

It seems we have a party crasher.
Would you two show him the door?

It'll be our pleasure, guv'nor.
This is too easy.

- He's mine.
- No, he's mine.

Wait. What are you doing?

Jumping, of course.

Gotcha.

Oh, Gnomeo, I'm so sorry.
I thought I'd lost you.

That's never gonna happen.

Look!

Ah, yes. Not good. Would you take care
of them so we can save the gnomes?

Leave it with us. Good luck.

Fertilizer face! Remember me?

Come here, pipsqueak!

Wait till I get hold of you!

My name is Moriarty
You like to eat my pies

I'll draw his fire, you rescue the gnomes.

You trust me to save the gnomes?

Well, of course. You're Watson.

Sherlock!

Surely you didn't think
it would be that... easy... to...

You know what? It doesn't feel organic
anymore. Look, I'm just gonna smash you.

Ha! A miss! The first of many.

It's my favorite bit. The chase.
Ready or not, here I come!

Cheese and crackers!

Look! It's that guy that hangs around
with Sherlock.

Yes, I'm the guy that hangs around
with Sherlock.

And I'm here to get you out.

Here we go.

Hey! Why is he pouring soap on us?

I don't know. Still, we'll smell nice.

He's trying to get us loose.

Everyone get ready to move.

Everyone link arms and pull!

Foam party!

It pains me to do this, Sherlock.

No one is forcing you, Moriarty.

You're the only one who gets me.

And I know you feel the same way about me!

Not true!

I know you, Sherlock.

Because I know me. We are the same.

You are the sun and I am the moon!

Those aren't the same.

They're both round things...
Look, you know what I mean.

They've got to be here somewhere.

There!

Don't just stand there! Get her!

She's trapped.

Oh, dear. You've got
nowhere else to go, twinkletoes.

Now!

What was that?

Point the searchlight at the bridge.

The humans! They've seen us! Freeze!

- This is your fault.
- No, it's your fault.

Two garden gnomes versus
two giant stone gargoyles.

Hey, we're Gnomeo and Juliet.
They didn't stand a chance.

You've got to be kidding me.

False alarm, Nimrod.

Someone had stuck three garden gnomes
on the... bridge.

Looked like they were dancing.
It doesn't matter.

Stand by for bridge reopening.

Oh, no.

Yeah, we didn't even get
to do our big finale. What?

Nimrod, recommencing bridge opening now.

Don't worry, I'll get you out of here.

Oh, my hero.

Be brave, my love. Be brave!

This way! The door's here!

Come on, quickly now!

Help! Help! I'm stuck!

Well, of course it would be that guy.

Whoa! Keep me level!

Come on, this way. Out, everybody.

Thank you, Dr. Watson.

- Thank you, Dr. Watson.
- You're my hero, Dr. Watson.

I don't need you, Sherlock. I've got lots
of people who want me as an archenemy.

They're queuing up!

I'm popular and bubbly.

I'm a pie about town.

You know, you're very needy for a villain.

The bridge is up. The gnomes are smashed.

And I guess this is the end
of our little story, Sherlock.

Come now, Moriarty.

I think there's one more twist in the tale.

No!

You're past your sell-by date, Moriarty.

You saved them? My life's work ruined?

The Sistine Chapel of evil plans

and you just spray-painted
a cartoon cat all over it!

Well, then, sir, my hat's off to you.

Literally.

No!

Brace yourselves!

Oh, Sherlock. You look tired.

Why don't you have a little lie-down
while I go and chat to your friends.

Yeah. Back in a sec.

And lift!

Again!

Watson, behind you!

Hello!

Poor old miserabubble Watson.

- Okay, bye-bye!
- No, Moriarty. Please.

Give it up, Sherlock.
What you gonna do, depress me to death?

This is where our story ends.

Come, Moriarty. Come dance with me.

Oh, big hairy bums!

Sherlock!

Ow!

Sherlock Gnomes, I shall...

This water is disgusting. Oh, it's going
in my mouth! It's going in my mouth!

Oh, no, my phone!

You'd give your life for me?

Of course.

Because you're the sworn protector
of London's garden gnomes.

No. Because we are the sworn protectors
of London's garden gnomes.

Watson and Sherlock, partners and friends.

And I promise
to treat my partner a lot better.

That is, of course, if you'll have me back.

Watson and Sherlock.
I rather like the sound of that.

So, Benny, you know how you said

you only want to kiss someone
if they want to kiss you back?

Well, now is that time.

Where did you learn to kiss like that?

The Internet.

Not bad for our first week in London.

You're the one who wanted an adventure.

Yeah, with you. Always with you.

What a perfect spring day.

The garden looks absolutely glorious.

It truly does. Juliet, I am so proud of you.

Thanks, Dad.

Watson!

Oh, Sherlock. I didn't even see you there.

Yes. I suppose I deserve that.

This is nice!

Yes

When do we attack?

On this day, the first day of spring,

we are here to celebrate our new leaders...

Gnomeo and Juliet.

Is this what I think it is?

A Cupid's Arrow Orchid. Our flower.

So I guess this is officially our garden now.

It is. And I'll never forget the most
important thing in this garden is you.

That was super cheesy.

No, it was extremely romantic.

- Grade-A cheddar.
- Will you shut up and kiss me?

What?

Watson, do you see
how they look at one another?

Recalculating likelihood of breakup at 0%.

Could that possibly be right?

Elementary, my dear Sherlock. Elementary.

Ow!

I hate you, Sherlock Gnomes.