Original subtitles

Another victory on the cards.

The veteran champions lead 21-9.

Last serve for Retegui who needs only one more point.

Amazing point for the challenger they want to get back in the match.

And another point makes 21-11.

21-15now on the scoreboard.

Now they�re level at21.

The challenger has the serve.

The silence is incredible.

Difficult serve, bounce and22-21

Against all the odds, Beloki is the new champion!

For some the world is blue,

for others it�s much blacker.

Good evening.

Sorry l�m late, fuck.

-l�m Serafin. -We�d given you up.

-Have you brought the money? -Yes, of course.

-Count it. -Just sit down, please.

Right. The money�s all here.

15million pesetas each. The house takes apercentage.

The winner takes 60 million.

You all know the rules?

Who doesn�t?

Alain, if you please.

On the plate on the right...

we have one delicious ��Amanita caesarea�� mushroom.

And on the left, four ��Amanitaphalloides��,

or deathcup mushroom, absolutely deadly.

Now l�m going to make five omelets,

one with the��caesarea�� and four with the ��phalloides��,

which you all have agreed to eat. ��Bon apetit��.

Right. The rules are simple.

The player who survives wins the 60 million.

Good luck, and enjoy your meals.

Remember, you can always pull out...

All you will lose is your money.

l don�t feel very hungry. Thank you.

Only four omelets then.

And only one is harmless.

��Etvoil+��.

Can l start? l like to be first in everything.

l don�t know why l do this. l�m stinking rich.

Son of abitch!

lt�s nothing personal. l�m allergic to mushrooms.

Your health, gentlemen.

Holy shit!

Right, gentlemen, you decide.

Okay, fifty-fifty then?

Come on, let�s see if you�ve got the balls.

Eat, you bastard, it�s equal odds.

What�s a meal without bread and wine?

Where�re you from?

-Logro�o, sir. -Gibraltar more like.

Fill it up.

Fucking great!

l�ve been lucky!

Sorry Serafin, but you can still pull out.

Pull out? And leave this wine?

You crazy? l�m staying because l need the dough.

But you�ve got no chance.

lt looks like this gentleman�s survived.

So what?

l�m a gambler and l never give up.

Right then, if everything�s in order...

one of us should snuff it.

Of course, everything�s in order.

l don�t feel well.

l feel bad, very bad. l think l�m gonna die.

Damned mushrooms, damned chef...

Tough luck!

l�m dying! l�m dying!

l�m sorry, gents...

Can�t stop for coffee.

My chauffeur�s double-parked.

What aprofessional!

My dear friends...

Father Burutxaga...

Thank you for joining me... joining us...

...tonight.

lt seems that it falls to me

to announce the forthcoming marriage

of my daughter, Araceli, baby...

and Juantxo Ortiz deZarate.

Next Saturday, the6th.

Apparently his father, Don Serafin

is unable to be with us tonight.

Pity, isn�t it Bego�a? What a shame.

There is nothing more important for amother...

This rotten cow...!

Hi, Angela!

Christ!What a surprise, Hermengilda.

How are you? Come, sit down with us.

Hi. How are you?

Fine, Angela.

Mom, l�ll be with Konradin.

l was telling the girls...

that Jesus is the patron saint of pimps.

Did he not

get an erection when he saw Mary Magdalene on the cross?

l believe it�s been proved.

lt�s not in the Scriptures because it was censored.

Yes, there�s nothing more important for amother...

...than the wedding of her daughter.

Which is why no expense or sacrifice has been spared.

As you can see from this habit...

There are 20,000 guys our age in this city.

How come my sister�s spent 10 years running after the same dickhead?

l read about it this morning in the ��Guinness��...

l didn�t think it possible...

l want it to be areally special day.

And l�ve had two fabluous diamond rings...

with Colombian emeralds and two lndian rubies...

all set in white gold from South Africa

made by our great Basque artist and designer,

Omar Urretabizkaia.

Thank you, ��habbibi��.

They were rather expensive...

30 million each.

But worth every penny.

Juantxo...

l�m givingyou two jewels.

Treat themwith love and care.

Of course.

Now we�d all love to hear whatyou�ve got to say.

Speech! Speech!

Come on.

My boy.

Marquise...

and other ladies and gentlemen of the jury. l mean, in general...

The concept...

This really is a very important day for me.

-l can only say thank you... -Conceivedwithout sin...

...especially to the marquise,

who is guilty...responsible for...all this.

Thanks to my parents, for everything...

...education, aposition, and alegal practice...

Three Hail Mary�s. l�m busy right now.

Ego te absolvo.

The concept is basically...

l think you could say that

l�m a very lucky guy.

Go for it, San Sebastian!

And finally

...let�s raise our glasses and toast...

That�s it, a toast!

Give me a glass of that. l�m dry.

Good speech, son, just like alawyer.

Now take abreak.

Sorry l�m late. The traffic�s fucking awful.

Startedwithout me, have you? Well done!

Marquise, you look gorgeous.

What�s with the bishop�s outfit?

Not permanent, is it?

-How�s the wine? -Fine, dad.

An �87 Beronia!

Shit! Excellent wine!

l�m not...

very good at this but today is a great day for me.

Jos� Mari and Aurori�s daughter...

is going to marry my boy, the eldest...

Just got his degree at thirty. Took his fucking time!

And now the best bit.

Thirty million, in cash. The way it�s more useful

Dad, it�s too much.

-No it�s not. -You�re tipsy.

Carlos! Champagne all round!

These days men�s balls have shrunk to this size.

You guys missed the pelota game. Boy, was it exciting!

Excitement? There�ll be plenty of that tomorrow.

-Who�s playing? -Us against the Portuguese.

At3 p.m. in my showroom.

What does it say, Angela?

-l bet it�s something bad. -Pako�s idea for sure.

lt�s for Juantxo. Pass it to him.

And for Konrado.

Being arebel today has no meaning.

Serafin, it�s not ajoke. Let�s pay the damn tobacco.

Ye of little faith!

l�ll get this one.

TUESDAY, GRAND STAG PARTY. ��Scandalo��. 10 PM.

��Konrado Volvos.�� Hello.

Fitting an airbag, prick?

l bet you haven�t got the car for tonight.

-Dad, can l borrow a...? -No.

Up yours!

They�ll recognize my car.

Don�t worry. They all look the same in the dark.

Sorry.

You�ll be like a pig in clover, Juantxo.

They�ve got some mulatto girls that are hot stuff, man.

No, guys, l�llwait for you outside.

Don�t be an asshole, it�s your stag night.

-Right. -l�m just not in the mood.

Hey, guys, l�m worried about these spots at the bottom of...

Sometimes the PH of vaginal fluid irritates the mucus.

What do you know about mucus, aristocrat?

Have you brought the money, aristocrat?

Yeah, l�ve brought the money.

And something more important.

-This. -Let�s see the instructions.

Come on.

What do you think?

The harem.

Don�t tell me you�ve been here before.

Sure l have.

Let�s get laid.

l�m going to talk about free love.

And the only professional of that love...

...Jesus.

l can see that all of you are rebels.

He was a rebel too.

And l also want to be one.

Long live free love.

Evening, ladies.

l�ve brought a friend with bags of money.

He�s getting married Saturday.

Right, ��marquis��?

This one�s gonna get his coffee with two sugars.

Ain�t he now?

Gently...You like making love don�tyou?

Gently.

Poor thing.Where did you get that anaconda, big boy?

-You come along with me. -Yes, ladies.

l�m arebel

because the world made me that way.

Because nobody ever showed me love.

Because nobody�s ever listened to me.

Wow. lt�s getting as hard as a rock.

This way.

l�m a rebel because l�ve always been that way.

They refused to give me what l asked for.

They just failed to understand.

l wanted to be

like any other kid,

any other man

who�s happy.

l wanted

to give what�s inside me

in return for friendship.

To live

and dream,

and forget rancour,

and sing

and laugh

and give

only

love.

l�m married.

Aren�t they all, honey?

lt�s just...

Visa card or cash, my love?

Visa or cash?

Ah, now? ln cash, okay?

We�ll sort it out later.

But don�t make it a habit.

Take your clothes off and wash it.

Wash what?

Oh, come on, honey.

Ph all the way!

lt�s freezing!

l�m sorry, it�s a crappy tap. Did l scald it.

l�ll never get the hang of it.

Now with a nice bit of soap.

l don�t like being kissed.

Stop, stop! l�ll touch you.

-Are your hands clean? -Of course.

Oh, honey... it feels like gum.

Well...

Dry yourself.

You gonna give me the money?

lt�s there.

Excuse me.

Araceli de Alda? ls she your wife?

Yeah.Well, not yet, but...

You should have hangers in a place like this.

Well...?

Did you enjoy it?

Yeah, it was wild. Just great.

You�re quite a performer.

Maybe a bit short.

Timewise l mean.

��Short but sweet��, as they say.

You�re so wise, my love.

And so virile.

l do my best.

Was it really too short?

Hey, you�re a romantic.

You�re a sweet guy.

Do you want to do it again?

l think it�s getting a bit late.

Oh, come on, honey.

Talking is nice too.

l love your accent.

Fucking�s not everything. To making love, l mean.

What do you mean ��love��?

You�re nuts. That�s great.

Ask, ask, l�ll tell you.

What would you like to know?

One, two, three...

Four.

Pump in, ventricular,

Pump out, auricular...

Ventricular

Auricular.

Come on.

lnhale, exhale...

Very good. You�re doing great.

Now l think...

What�s wrong, my love?

You don�t like rubbers, do you?

Yes, l have to relax.

Better darling?

l�m relaxing...

Come here, give me your finger.

Suck my finger, darling.

Won�t you do it for me?

-Suck my finger. -No

Cheers! To eternal screwing and UFO�s.

And fucking them till they drop.

To death!

Boy, did l sweat! l fucked her brains out!.

And what apiece of ass, eh Konra?

Yeah, they were great.

She was gorgeous.

Look at him, Konra.

Not a peep out of him. Did you score then?

Well, not exactly. Yes, l did. l mean...

Juantxo, what�s the matter?

Are you OK?

My engagement ring.

Fucking kids! Go kill yourselves!

What happened?

l�m sorry about the ring.

-Why? -Because it was my idea.

Who hit you?

A lot of guys are into violence.

lt turns them on.

lt was my boss.

For not charging a client.

Look, about the ring...

l�m not talking about the damned ring.

Do you like your boss?

Shit!

Wait...

l like you. A lot.

l thought you were Cuban.

l like you too. You�re fantastic.

lt may sound like an excuse but it was my first time.

You were great.

You�re an angel, but l don�t have your ring

l didn�t think so.

Who�s got it?

lt�s dangerous.

Please.

Somebody who�s into violence.

Your boss?

What�s his name? Call him over.

-Why? -l know how to hit too.

Mr Villambrosa isn�t here.

Where is he?

Can you really fight?

Sure.

l�m a karate black belt.

He�s at the ��Kokotxa�� club.

Do you like hitting women?

That�s a shame.

l deserve to be hit.

Poor creature, so full of vice!

Well, thanks, l�ve got to go.

Bye. Take care, karate kid.

Bye, Sweetheart.

They�ll kill me. Guys, it�s all your fault.

-Why did we have to go there? -Cool it.We�ll find it.

��Nuisance��, 6 letters.

Harass.

And did she use her finger on you, too?

-None of your business. -What do you mean?

lf you like it up the rear...

Up yours, Pako!

That�s what l mean. lt�s not normal.

lt�s not normal? All right, it�s not normal!

Hey, guys, don�t get uptight.

Why don�t we just let fate take its course?

According to the theory of chaos...

Right! You got it.

See, Juantxo, how you get desperate so easily.

That�s what creates chaos.

Just relax Listen to some music.

Relax? You�re gonna fucking kill us!

No fucking way. This car�s what you call life insurance!

Airbags on the driver�s and passenger�s sides.

Great. ln the back it�s my ass that�s on the line.

-Don�t say that word again! -l didn�t say ��ass��.

-Yes, you did. -No, l didn�t.

-You did! -l didn�t!

��Harass��. l said ��harass��.

Konrad!

��Nuisance... six letters.��

��Harass��.

You said it.

-Crash... collision. -How many letters?

Stop!

Shit!

DANGER. BATHlNG PROHlBlTED

Shit! Today is not our day.

l�ve wrecked the car!

Fuck me!

That�s all we needed.

So much for the airbags.

Hell, why didn�t they work?

Driver, passenger, life insurance...

Shut up, will you! All this is for your fucking ring!

And whose idea was it to...

To what? Stick your finger up her ass or yours?

Up your old man�s ass!

Any body hurt?

Not yet, but...

Hey! Are you Villambrosa?

Jesus, do you know me?

No, l don�t. That ring belongs to me.

Where have you been putting your finger?

You should be ashamed of yourself!

Cool it, Juanxto. l�ll handle this.

He�ll tell you.

-l can�t hear you. -He�ll tellyou!

Well, Pako decided to organize a stag party

-By the way, l�m Konrado. -And he�s Pako, the driver.

Shit, Konrado! Cut the chat!

lf you think it�s so easy, you explain it.

Where was l?

Well, when Juantxo stuck his...

The Marquise de Alda gave it to him as her dowry.

Yes, that engagement ring.

So the ring belongs to that young man?

Please give it back. lt�s got huge sentimental value.

What kind of huge value?

l dunno, millions. How much was it, Juanxto?

Hey, you!

Come back!

Shitbag!

Hey!

Thief!

Bastard!

Hey!

Shitbag!

Oh, shit, the airbags!

Just when we needed them.

Pako, will you stop this thing!

Stop this! Shit!

For God�s sake!

l�m suffocating!

Try and breathe.

-l can�t! -Take it easy.

lt�s got limited dimensions and it�s explosion-proof.

Hey, mister!

Stop it!

That�s the way it is!

Let�s go.

l can�t take it anymore.

-The damage doesn�t look too bad! -Are you stupid?

Konra, where�re you going?

There�s a huge chance that it�ll explode.

Why should it explode?

-Like in ��Starsky and Hutch��. -lf you say so.

Shit! run!

Run!

Rats!

Filthy blackmailers!

Some people have got no scruples.

30 million for some crap photos

that are out of focus.

That fucking kid was pretty cute. lncredible!

Hello? Yes, yes. lt�s Mr Villambrosa.

Palomeque, watch the puddle.

What about the briefcase?

l wanted the thirty million here today.

Today, tod..ay!

Look, Mr Candidate, l have business in Portugal.

And l�ve got problems with Souza.

Every time l talk to him my ulcer plays up.

Sir, l think we should call it a day.

l want to master this game before the elections.

There�s still aweek to go.

You�ll have the money tomorrow.

Your money and the ��gift�� you wanted.

Still unopened.

You realize l�m a good investment in your future.

Don�t forget that.

Bye for now ��Mr President��.

Excuse me, sir, we�re at the hole...

l don�t feel very well.

Tourino, call Souza. No more fuck ups.

Listen about ��Russian Omelette��...

Call the Portuguese guy.

You�re right there.Wait.

Pako�s right.

You can�t go back without the ring, Juantxo.

l�ve been away from home for 20 hours.

Yeah, that�s true. Hold on.

His fiancee hasn�t heard from him.

So fucking what?

Wait a second.

You guys are driving me nuts. l�m outta here.

Hey! Kiddos, you, Konrad, we need a car.

And Juantxo, we need money.

No way!

l Copied it exactly.

But the best thing was when they put their glasses on.

l just don�t know.

Glasses!

Hey, Guys!

l dunno.

ALENTEJO, SOUTHERN PORTUGAL.

Joao Villambrosa.

-My friend. How are you? -Fine.

But worse than you for sure.

How�s the ulcer?

Better, thanks.

lt�s been fine for the past few weeks.

ln fact...

Since l last talked to you.

You should control that temper of yours.

l�ll give you a home-made remedy on Friday. At the casino.

Brazilian medicine.

Don�t bother.

On Friday l�ll forget my pains as soon as l see the ��cattle��.

l�m bringing the best girls you�ve ever seen.

Not just because l respect you.

l also have my own motives...

Your cooperation means alot to me.

Yes, in Arosanot only will we sign our partnership

but also seal our friendship.

By the way,

could we not bring the the swap forward to today?

l�ll tell Fatima do Espirito Santo.

-See you on Friday in my casino. -Look after your health.

Thanks. Don�t wor...

l feel worse.

Now l hear you better, Tourino.

We can�t pick up the ��microwaves�� inside.

We don�t have a satellite dish.

Listen, Pazos, we�re not going that way, so listen.

Have you got the ��crabs��?

��Crabs��? No, it�s not the season.

Only in the months with ��r�� in them January, February...

l said ��crabs��. Ten kilos worth.

The coke? Why didn�t you say so?

Yes, the order arrived. Who will pick up the drop?

The Portuguese will be there at 6.

The goods are worth 30 million.

Take the money and bring it to Arosa.

Do you think you can manage that?

Come on, boss, just trust me.

l�m an old hand at this.

They�re professionals so try and act like one.

lt�s as easy as peeling abanana.

Give my regards to Mr Villambrosa...

Sorry.

My poor child.

All under control, sir.

Pass me an ��Almax��.

They�re real busy.

No, Konra, that�s showing off.

-Sure this is it, guys? -Yeah, of course it is.

La Kokotxa. Look, prawns!

Afternoon. Mr Villambrosa?

Of course. l�ve just spoken to him.

l dunno, l expected you to have an accent.

Good afternoon.

Excuse me, but we think you have something that belongs to us.

Yes, in aminute.

But have a drink first. You must be tired.

-Yeah. Of going up and down. -We got lost three times.

Well just relax.We�ve got some girls you�re gonna love.

On the house, as usual.

You�re very hospitable.

Very kind. Nice and cool.

By the way, what about Villambrosa?

He�s fine, thanks. l�ll tell him you asked after him.

Now tell me, has your car got airbags?

Driver, passenger and side, just fitted.

Fucking professional. Like aring on a finger.

Mr Villambrosa could be a bit more discreet.

Did he say he was coming?

He�s very definitely coming or not coming.

He was very clear on that matter.

l couldn�t hear him very well.

We�ve had trouble with the imm mobile phone.

Listen.

Mr Villambrosa left the matter in my hands.

So no need to worry Everything will work out o.k.

But now... a concept.

Why don�t you relax and get laid?

We�ve got plenty of time. And l�ll go get organized.

Marquitos! Tonin! Back to work. Fuck!

We�re pushed for time. And feed those fucking hens!

l painted this in my hippy phase.

-What do you think? -Exquisite, colorful.

l�m an artist, man.

l was a sailor, a welterweight, and a sculptor.

But they don�t appreciate me.

Move it!

Nayat! Navratilova!

One�s Arabic, the other�s Chechen.

High class, real pros.

Where�s the fire?

Well, well. Three young �uns.

Great.

Sorry, but l�ve come here to...

No, you take it easy.

You and me are going to have a few drinks.

Us partners have got to get to know one another.

Girls...

Give �em some liposuctions. You know what l mean?

l do indeed.

God, what abunch of wimps!

Palmira, open that bottle of grappa of mine.

-Grappa? -l was keeping it...

for a special occasion.

l can see you�ve got a good eye.

lt�s not the standard Mini-Uzi.

lts the Micro-Uzi SMG. Sub machine Gun.

A killing machine. A real gem.

You�d noticed of course.

-Hold it. -No.

-Hold it! -No.

Hold it for fucksakes!

Holy shit!

And there�s me explaining.

Shit! These foreigners come really prepared.

��So machine gun��, eh?

Palmira, another bottle!

Very professional.

Right, that�s it.

Christ, there are more tourists. coming every day

What a sight!

What a vision!

Don�t get any ideas. She won�t look atyou.

Wanna bet?

Hi.

Smells of gunpowder. l like it.

Were you expecting me?

All my life.

l�m Fatima do Espirito Santo.

l understandyou know about airbags.

Oh no, not again.

My partner�s an expert. He spends all day fitting them.

Fantastic!

l like driving fast.

And l think l�d feel safer with one of those things.

Could you look at my airbags?

We don�t mind, do we Konrad?

Where were we?

l like going fast...

...and coming slow:

Hello. Oh, it�s you.

l have to check the airbags.

Of course. Let�s get out.

After 15 years of marriage,

with the kids at the best schools in ��Cam Ford��...

They had everything.

Now l�m alone. All alone.

Ah, Carmina.

Her in Galicia and me in the Basque country.

l�m sorry, man. lt upsets me.

Go ahead and cry. Let off some steam.

You said it. l�m all choked up.

You understand, don�t you?

Of course.

Damn it all!

Come on ��El Depor��!

You were right

l didn�t listen to you.

l have to accept that

with a glass in front of me.

My head feels heavy

How l suffer.

l swear l need

to return.

There�s a woman all alone waiting for me too.

The hell with it!

All checked, ma�am.

Konra, this is my friend...

Glad to meet you.

��So machine gun��.

l�m leaving.

Now?

l owe you a dance.

What the fuck...

And the ring?

Fucking bitch!

Hey, amigo. Where�s Villambrosa?

Watch your step with Villambrosa.

He�s a son of a bitch.

He�s got money in ��ambulance��,

He�ll be at the ��Big Club��. The best place we�ve got.

Swish place. You ought to see it.

Straight ahead at the intersexual, and you can�t miss it.

Okay, Pazos.

What do we owe you?

-lt�s on the house. -Let�s go then.

My money ain�t good enough for you or what?

Dickhead!

Fucking hell!

l�ll blow your fucking heads off!

A bit of respect, Chrissakes.

Easy, guys. Pazos is a cool dude.

Quit clowning around. Hand over the fucking case.

What case?

The one you got in your hand, fucker.

He�s just goofing around.

Now let�s check the goods.

First something to fire you up.

No, Pazos, amigo. No more firing, please.

We trust each other then.

Between you guys and Villambrosa there�s an important engagement...

-The ring. 30 million pesetas worth. -That�s why we�re here.

30 million. l know. Trust is everything.

Professional. Very professional.

Harder!

Harder!

-Well l�ll be fucked! -Nothing.

Son of abitch. Nobody outsmarts Fatima.

Hey, Mr Tourino. How are you?

Tell the president he�ll have to tighten his belt.

We did the swap. But their case was sort of...

sort of...

sort of e-m-p-t-y!

Empty!

You�ll have the goods, Mr Souza. Leave it to me in a few minutes.

No, l didn�t know.

How was l to know it was a jack in the box?

Travelling with your buddies.

Money in your pocket and the tank full of gas.

And alot of road ahead.

200 km to the ��Big Club��.

The world is red.

lt�s blue.

lt�s all black to me. The ring. Son of abitch.

Don�t stop. They look like punks.

-Who? -Those hitchhikers.

Holy Christ and all the saints in abarrel!

Stop after the bend!

We�ll wait further on.

Was that good luck, corporal or bad luck?

What do you mean, lieutenant?

Three cars almost run us down in a few seconds.

That�s bad luck.

But they didn�t. So that�s good luck.

lt�s a dilemma.

lt depends how you look at it.

Sir, aren�t you going to question them?

Of course.

Afternoon.

Why didn�t you brake before?

Do you mean ��before�� in space or in time?

Good question.

The 1st would be that seeing you, l should have braked before.

The 2nd would mean that having braked

the car wouldn�t stop in time.

lnteresting.

So the ultimate question would be: who�s to blame, car or driver?

Guilty.

l understand. Another dilemma.

So ask the question again properly this time.

Konrad, cut the chat.

Allow me, lieutenant.

Afternoon. The car�s papers.

-Konrad, where are they? -l�ll get them.

Sorry.

l�m alawyer, eh?

Get him to specify which papers.

Listen, smartasses.

Get the papers out of the fucking car right now...

Or l�ll throw the fucking book atyou.

-Don�t hit the car, it�s new. -So what!

So fuckingwhat?

Didn�t l tellyou l was a lawyer, you clown?

Flathead!

-He�s drunk. -Get out.

Don�t hit the car, please.

Get out of the car.

Right...

now!

What the fuck are you doing?

Stop that!

Follow them! l�ll call the station.

No, we�ll both call the station.

We�ll both call. That way we�ll make absolutely sure.

l smell ��crabs��.

Your driving turns me on, you bastard.

Come on, step on it. They�re ours.

l told you they were terrorists, lieutenant.

Get out! Get out!

Will you listen to me, damn it! Let the lawyer speak.

Fuck! l can�t remember why...

But l am not going in there

-No way! -No chance!

-This is aparadise. -Paradise.

We shouldn�t forget why we�re here.

We won�t.

-We�ll just check out the place. -Let�s go.

-Evening, gentlemen. -Evening.

Monica!

She�ll fit the bracelets and explain the rules.

Hi.

-Welcome to the ��Big Club.�� -Thanks.

Services are registered here.

Please come with me, gentlemen.

Shallwe go in?

What goes in must come out.

Two, four and six.

Pazos!

What the fuck�s going o~?

Lieutenant Llorente.

Great to see you in the club again:

What the hell was all that shooting?

And those alarms... and guns.

We thought we heard screams but it was a false alarm.

Get ready for an inspection downstairs.

Sorry.

Pazitos, Pazitos.

Come on, boys.

Let�s go.

Ladies and gentlemen, The Big Club

Will be closing its door in a few minutes.

Don�t forget our special offer for Easter.

Thank you for your visit.

Smallworld, isn�t it?

-He�s not here. -The next one then:

Okoito.

-What�s that? -Bad PH.

Lt�s war. Hey, any cash left?

A bit.

Four more.

L pass.

-Do you like it, mom? -You look great.

Beautiful, dear.

Lt�s the same as the one on Thursday, but worse...

Help yourselves. There�s more than enough.

Mom, ��Obsolete Love�� has started.

Episode 2005

Jose Alberto, my love, what�s the real reason?

l�m beginning to think you don�t want to marry me.

All right, Esmeralda, l�ll tell you my secret.

When l find my real father l�ll come back

and marry you.

And you know why?

-Because l love you. -Yes.

That�s arelief.

Of course l do.

He won�t come back.

Come on, Araceli, please don�t cry.

You�ll get us all going.

lt�s probably just a childish prank.

lt�s all Pako�s fault. l know it.

lf they don�t show up tonight...

that bitch and her bastard will know what�s good for them.

lt�s the wedding of the year and nobody will wreck it.

Don�t worry.

lf anything had happened we�d have heard by now.

They�re not in any hospital and l checked with the morgue.

Grave accusations of corruption and association with criminals

have affected the candidate�s latest public appearances.

The voters have seen what the opposition�s up to...

slandering me, connecting me with undesirables.

Perhaps because of my fight against drugs,

juvenile delinquency,

and uncontrolled immigration.

Is that why?

So let them prove their charges if they can.

That�s how the meeting in the Basque country

of the presidential candidate Santiago Paino ended.

He�s the leading candidate in the presidential race

according to all the polls.

Pako, the window.

According to the girls

we should be close. Konra, how much more?

Loads, but that�s my last. Or second last.

You�re out of it. Juantxo, how much more?

I told you yesterday. There are some bills left.

To hell with you! I�m all alone. Man is all alone.

Vanesita...

She didn�t charge me.

Look at him. He�s crying like ababy.

Guys...

What are we doing? I�m a drug addict.

I�ve wrecked my life.

And your wedding, Juantxo...

Don�t worry. We�ll sort it out.

Take it easy, okay?

Sir, if there�s gang warfare it�ll ruin the campaign.

We musn�t be connected with any...

Don�t get my balls in an uproar!

I pay you to solve problems not to fuck me around.

-Do you want awood...? -A club. A clubbing...

We have to avoid scandals.

Okay... Call Villambrosa.

He always calls us.

What an honour. What a surprise.

Marquise...

Allow me.

I received

your very generous donation to the party. Thanks.

The interests of a country are above

small personal sacrifices.

Just what I like to hear.

Positive people...

people in favour of things.

Speaking of favours... I came here to ask one of you.

A favour.

My dear, no favours.

From you I only take orders.

I�m like a fox terrier, a dobermann,

awild orangutan trained to serve you.

At your service...

to the end.

Golf isn�t your game, is it?

I prefer cards. All that ��swing�� and ��green�� and ��tee��.

It�s sissy stuff.

Exactly.

Stick your butt out.

��Little house on the prairie��

You want the money but not to get even with Souza.

And that ain�t easy, Paino.

l know reading�s notyour thing,

but it�s the second time this week

I�ve seen your name next to mine.

So the problem with Souza can wait.

All right...

there�ll be no war.

You�ll have alot to thank me for, ��Mr President��.

I like the sound of that.

Tourino.

Call Souza.

Your men have got the 30 million.

But we haven�t seen one single gram.

War!

That�s the last thing aman my age wants.

I trust Fatima.

Tell me where and when.

My men will be there.

Unarmed.

We musn�t endanger our alliance.

I�ll see you at your new casino,

my old friend.

Tourino.

Tell Pazos to be at the stadium at seven.

To fix things with the Portuguese.

No weapons.

-But he�ll have to talk. -Then he�ll have to learn.

-Hello, what�s your name? -Rosana.

When do I start work?

Poor princess in captivity.

Can I call home now?

You�ll soon have your own phone.

Let them go! But step on it!

We�ll gain an hour and a quarter.

You don�t know where the fuck we are.

Cool it, this is a great short cut.

God! Like in Angola!

This way we�ll get them head on.

Fire!

Fools!

Hopeless idiot!

Too bumpy!

Bastard!

It�s Mr Souza, ma�am.

Mr Souza.

Yes, sir.

What, sir? Make peace?

No weapons?

No weapons.

I understand, Mr. Souza.

But, sir...

Yes, sir.

What the hell are you doing?

-From now on l�ll drive. -Cocaine makes you aggressive.

Anxiety, right? Anxiety.

Your driving�s too jerky.

I feel awful, guys.

No more of that shit for me.

You can drive...

after the short cut.

Congratulations, Mrs or is it Miss?

Not all your men are here, but congratulate them.

They�re real pros.

It�s Miss.

You�re very kind but I think you�re wrong.

I�d have liked to see all your men here, too.

And one in particular.

Congratulate them from me.

Let�s not get into hieroglyphics.

We�re hear to clarify a couple of concepts.

Our bosses insist we get along together...

so l�ll make an effort.

lf you tell us where our money is.

When you give us what�s ours...

we�ll discuss that concept in order to discuss it.

I see.

That�s as clear as you can get.

Look, baby. Here we have a question.

The concept is the concept.

That�s the question.

For example, you�re

an educated woman.

And l don�t object in respective to that because I�m broad minded.

I don�t go around saying all women are bitches in heat...

even if I think so.

But what about the concept?

I ��defer�� to the facts.

Very impressive.

I haven�t given you so much thought.

And the concept?

No, I already said that.

Oh, fuck! What does it say here?

Well, let�s try and get on together...

or alot of blood could be shed.

Mr Souzais respected all over Portugal.

In your country too. For two good reasons.

(a) he never double-crosses anyone and b)

he hates being double-crossed.

(a) and (b), huh?

Mr Villambrosa, who is a ��jentlemen��.

Told me to sort this out with pacifism.

So, a)Just as l could say one thing l could say another.

And b)...

Watch it, cos maybe you�ll get a ...

Mine�s longer than yours.

Hello.

l told you not to call me at work.

And me too... Pumpkin Pie.

lt�s going to be a grand night.

Just aroulette or two to fix up, that�s all.

-Get it ready for tonight. -Mr Paino

said he had to speak to you. About the meeting

with the Portuguese.

The board room is ready

for you to sign the agreement with Mr Souza.

Have you heard from Pazos?

Not a thing, sorry sir.

-Come on, Roxanne. -Rosana, ma�am.

Locked away, asking for help. l think she�s looking at me.

He�s got a temperature.

l don�t like the look of that bleeding.

Lack of sleep, too much coke. The body�s an enigma.

We have to call home.

-We agreed not to. -To Pako�s place.

Herme will understand.

Just say we�re okay. We�re heading back.

The wedding�s the day after tomorrow.

We agreed we�d get the ring.

Fuck the ring!

Don�t talk bullshit! Head for the next harem.

Get a hair of the dog that bit you!

Get the map out, Konra, hell!

Straight on to the ��House on the prarie��.

But first we need a...

��Reanimator��, the drink with ginseng.

SPAIN

Killings?

-Which gang was it? -Three experts.

Experts?

They�re not freelance.

They�re Villambrosa�s men.

l can smell it.

Dos Barros, tell the boys.

Fantastic.

Pity she�s going to that politician.

Fonseca would have got much more out of her.

-Something went wrong. -What do you mean?

There was another gang. Three guys in a Volvo. Pros.

So, another bunch of jokers.

At the worst possible moment.

Those boys have made abig mistake.

Obsolete Love.

Episode 2006

l don�t know aboutyou, but l�ve made up my mind.

The police should be involved as soon as possible:

And if not, we�ll call the Government representative.

Well, l think...

Tere, please.

You�re not going to report my son missing

like some lost Pekinese.

We must reach an agreement.

Then decide if we call the police or the army or...

That�s it, the army.

They�re probably just out on the town.

We did the same before we got married.

You fool, the wedding�s in sixteen hours.

Maybe he�s smarter than we were and...

Don�t be an idiot! How dare you in front of Bego�a and...

Peace, Aurori. Peace, for God�s sake.

My dears, l think you�re all abit touchy.

There is something l wanted to say.

l wasn�t going to, but we�re all one big family.

Yesterday l was worried about

Juantxo and the boys,

so l decided to take action.

l went to see Presidential Candidate Paino.

His security service is looking for the boys.

This evening we�ll have all the information.

You know me.

Always a step ahead.

Look, look.

A democrat on TV

A decision which could be described as surprising.

After receiving certain indecent photos,

Judge Rueda ordered

the imprisonment of Presidential Candidate Santiago Paino.

He is accused of illegal financing, association with criminals

and paedophilia.

lt�s all apack of lies, aplot, a trick.

How was l to know she was only ten?

The parents are to blame...

for dressing them up like whores...

Oh, my God,

What are we going to do?

-Back to square one. -Worse.

ln this country imprudence has a high price.

Pako is to blame. He�s abad egg and so�s his mother.

We�re going to make a fool of ourselves tomorrow.

-Pako once asked me for a fellatio. -A what?

-Me too. -ln your dreams!

That�s it.

l�m going to call the police and look for that old slut, Herme.

And see what she has to say.

She�ll be gadding about as usual.

What apitiful woman.

Whether she likes it or not, she�ll have to explain.

Whenever you want, my dear.

Sorry ma�am. She wouldn�t wait.

l�ve been waiting outside for awhile.

Long enough.

What awful cakes.

From the local store, aren�t they?

l�ve never really felt the need

to talk to you as a group. But now�s a good time.

We were going to call you,

But we thought you wouldn�t come.

Being invited is less fun.

This is ridiculous.

We all think Pako�s to blame.

He�s a bad influence on them.

That�s true. l�m tired of all this hypocrisy.

What frankness, ladies!

l feel obliged to reply.

The truth is l was getting worried about Pako.

Too many hours with your boys.

l feared he was becoming like them.

An imbecile.

How dare you!

But after what�s happened

l�ve discovered that

fortunately, they�re just like their fathers.

You don�t mean your husband. He left you 15 years ago.

Joao...

lt was l who left that son of abitch.

Look, the wedding�s tomorrow

and we�ve got a serious problem.

lt�s your sons who have the problem, not you.

And that problem is their parents.

Serafin, are you going to let this slut insult us?

Serafin will say nothing

to this slut because he�s a gambler and whore monger.

What?

Herme... dear... don�t stir things up.

Or do, or l don�t know.

AndJose Mari,

and Konrado are demanding clients,

almost fussy, but exceedingly generous.

You slanderous slut!

Did it never occur to you

that all these cheap bankers and politicians

you sleep with

Come later to my clubs.

And they talk.

And notvery nicely, my poor Jose Mari.

You�re despicable.

Get out of my house or l�ll call...

My best customers? Yes, l know.

Take it easy, dear.

l�m afraid l can�t stay.

My masseur charges by the hour.

By the way,

l�ve got news from the boys.

They�re...

they�re fine.

Don�t worry about the wedding. lt�ll all turn out fine.

Goodbye...

��ladies��.

Jose Alberto, l�m your real father.

Bingo, that bastard�s Cadillac!

What a joint, guys.

Well, we�re here then.

We can�t fail now.

That bastard�s got the ring but it�s not going to be easy.

He may well have a bodyguard.

How do you feel then?

Fucking great!

All set to go.

We have to stick together.

We�ll try and play it cool

lf that doesn�t work...

We�ll improvise.

Yeah, improvise.

As usual.

Well it looks like he ain�t here.

We�ll have to look elsewhere. So let�s split up, OK?

l�ll stick around here. No need to worry about me.

Okay, Konrad.

What about you, Pako?

l�ll check out the bar.

You know, bartenders remember people�s faces.

l�ll go on my own then.

And be careful...

with the PH.

Could you give me arough idea of how to play this game?

Of course, sir.

Mr Villambrosa?

Excuse me.

What did you say?

Good evening, kind man.

l was just telling Einstein here...

that l want to speak to Mr Villambrosa.

For what purpose?

Look... l lost my engagement ring

up a mulatto girl�s ass.

Mr Villambrosa chanced upon it.

And l�ve been following him from one brothel to the next.

So l guess he�s expecting me.

Come in, come in.

What a joker!

Hurry up, the game�s starting.

Here l am.

l know you, don�t l?

Yes, we have met once before.

Excuse me, sir.

What is it?

Nothing serious, sir. Can you come please?

lf you�ll excuse me for a moment, please.

-How are you, sir? -What is it?

l didn�t realize at first

but unless l�m very mistaken

the empty case those bastards gave me at the club is

identical to the one we gave to the Basque who ruined the ��Russian Omelet��.

And what the hell does that mean?

Not a fucking clue, boss.

Excuse me.

A small concept.

Do you play with wild cards?

Of course not.

The concept, that is the question.

Hey, Pazos!

What a surprise!

-Sir? -Yes.

He�s one of the professionals.

The worst, the most dangerous.

Come on, El Deportivo!

Gentlemen,

l�m afraid the game is off.

Right now,

Mr Villambrosa.

l have to point out that that ring,

as you well know, is not yours,

but mine.

Now l remember.

You were in the crashed car.

And before that with Vanessa.

We have the same tastes, young man.

Do we really?

Like hell we do.

A small interruptus.

What�s your father�s name?

Serafin. Why?

The father takes our money and the son the cocaine.

Damned Basques! Sons of...

Wait aminute.

What money?

l�m sorry but we haven�t robbed anybody.

That ring is mine.

What�s your game?

Well, young man...

As you can see,

this is aplace for gambling, so if you want the ring,

and you don�t have my money to pay for it...

we�ll gamble for it.

Your father seems to enjoy gambling.

And he�s got balls.

Let�s see if you�re his son

or the postman�s.

Your turn.

Right on!

What apro!

Goddamn kid!

You got balls, kiddo.

You sure do.

But what good are they if you�re a looney?

Not too smart either. There�s only one bullet left.

And as l�m the generous type, l would like you to accept it.

l�m sorry.

l couldn�t let you go.

Bye.

Holy shit, awoman!

Christ! Angela!

My daughter!

What?

Come on, Angelita, my darling.

l�m your father.

He�s her father.

A present for you, dad.

They have a family thing.

They say he tried to get his leg over her.

And if that happens in a family, it�s bad news.

Yep.

No, not this one.

So you had my money.

A thief who�s robbed...

deserved it anyway.

Court is adjourned. Let�s go.

Submachine gun.

Don�t worry about it.

Gentlemen,

we can�t stay for coffee.

That�s 5,650,000 pesetas.

On the same number. 13.

Have you been playing long,

Almost an hour.

Got it! Let�s go!

Don�t spoil the streak, Juantxo. Look at this.

Are you crazy? l was born to play this game.

What�s going on?

Why the hell are you dressed up like that, Angela?

Come on, we�re are leaving.

Even if l have to dragyou out.

Security!

What have you done, guys?

Guns! Dozens of them!

Think of something, Konra.

Where they least expect it. The front door.

-All right! -Logical. l love you, Konra.

l saw it in ��Starsky and Hutch��.

They�re thieves!

They�ve stolen the takings.

-Don�t give them the ring. -No way!

l don�t think they want it.

4 Thieves Killed

by the security services

of the Arosa Casino.

There�re dozens of witnesses.

They�re citizens, and this city belongs to me.

And the judges too.

Everything could also be yours,

my children.

Your son? How?

Pako, this is papa.

Yes, Jos� Francisco...

You don�t remember because you were studying abroad,

paid for by me.

lt can�t be true.

Son of abitch!

Listen, Jose Francisco.

Fuck you, dad!

lt was all a...

-set up. -Yes, a set up.

Pure slander.

Your mother

couldn�t prove it.

l wasn�t allowed to testify in court.

But now l will.

That�s enough!

l gave you one last chance.

They�re all yours.

So much for Starsky and Hutch, eh Konra!

-Konra? -Hey, guys, this way!

Pako!

Pako!

Come on! ldiot!

Come on!

lt�s locked.

Shoot at the door.

The world is blue.

Let�s go!

Konra, that�s not style.

-lt�s showing off. -l was improvising.

Come on, this way.

What�s wrong?

-Leave me alone, l�m O.K. -So let�s go.

Go and start the car!

Fuck! l don�t get it.

Pako!

Trust me and start the car for Chrissake!

You owe me a dance.

Sorry, precious, you took too long.

A shame. Bye, darling.

Bye.

ls that mine?

That motherfucking pretty boy.

They�ve got the money and the coke.

They mustn�t escape.

l hate to admit you�re right.

Tires are flat, let�s use the Dodge.

There�s no room for you, fool!

lf you squeeze over:

They�re getting away!

They won�t get far.

Fatima, you always surprise me.

Give me that!

Carmina?

l�m quitting this.

lt�s too stressing.

No, not interesting, stressing.

Hey, Carmina.

You were right.

But l wouldn�t listen

l have to admit it

with a glass in front of me

and my head feels heavy,

how l suffer.

l swear l need to return.

Thank you

for coming, Governor, it�s a great honor.

Thank you.

What a tragedy.

He went and did it.

l can�t believe it. My own son.

l have to say it.

We can�t wait any longer.

The shame of it! l want to die.

l�m going to say a few words.

Quiet, quiet please.

Quiet.

Quiet!

Ladies and gentlemen,

as you can see

it�s 12:30 and everything�s ready.

But l regret to tell you

that the wedding

will not take place.

Will not take place

exactly on time.

l�m sorry for the slight delay. Thank you.

Juantxo, that�s no style, lt�s just showing off.

All right. All right.

-Hello, Sweetheart. -You had me worried, idiot!

Such a fool.

-What in God�s name... -Shut up.

You had me worried to death.

For Christsake, mom.

-Watch your language. -Fuck!

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered here today to join together

Juantxo

Ortiz deZarate

and Araceli de Alda.

Oh, Lord,

grant them eternal rest.

What took you so long?

A few problems with your ex.

Yes, l heard about it on the radio.

No, that�s the funeral rites...

Ah yes, dearly beloved, it�s true...

Juan Jose Ortiz deZarate...

Juan Jose Ortiz deZarate!

What?

Do you take Araceli de Alda

to be your lawful wife

in sickness and in health,

for better or worse, till death do you part?

l do.

The rings.

The other one.

Just amoment.

But it must be here.

lt must be somewhere.

What... My God!

has joined together

let no man put asunder.

Your attention!

This is arevelation!

A sinful present.

Hey, Juantxo, there�s amessage from God for you,

Bless you, don�t worry, you can sin with this chick.

Sugar daddy, come with me, l�ll go with you andwe�ll be happy.

Goodvices with me will be the best

but badvices are bad for your nose.

Forget the powder and about money, you don�t need it to be happy.

Listen to this song, blessed be...

...those who sin to be happy.

Be good to her, she�s a fine girl, a gift given to you by God.

Saintly Creature. You�re delicious.

Long live the mother who gave you birth.

lt seems God has earthly troubles, his celestial channel has no coverage.

He told me l�m his prophet, a bringer of good news to man.

Enjoy life and carnal sin,

there�s nothing more sacred than reaching paradise

dancing. lf it can be enjoyment, singing, dancing, singing,...

Don�t worry, my love.

You haven�t lost anything.

That�s my boy.

Or isn�t it?

ls it? Oh, how should l know!