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Euro Trip
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00:02:04,650 --> 00:02:07,670
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Congratulations,
Hudson High Class of 2004.
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5
00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:06,980
There she is. Fiona!
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Bye.
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- Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey!
8
00:03:11,770 --> 00:03:13,900
- Hey, you.
9
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:19,390
- Congratulations, graduate.
- Thanks, baby.
10
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,230
And congratulations to you, Cooper.
11
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Aww. Thanks, baby!
12
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,250
- Nice try.
13
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,250
- All right. - See you at Wade's party tonight?
14
00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:28,920
- See you then.
Alright
15
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:34,090
So, it's just you and me
for the entire summer.
16
00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:36,380
Next year you graduate, join me
at college.
17
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Just like we planned.
18
00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:41,250
- Scott, we need to talk.
- Yeah? About what?
19
00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:43,680
About me dumping you.
20
00:03:43,750 --> 00:03:44,920
Huh?
21
00:03:44,970 --> 00:03:46,300
There he is!
22
00:03:46,390 --> 00:03:50,110
The graduate
and his beautiful girlfriend. OK?
23
00:03:50,190 --> 00:03:52,860
Smile, you two!
24
00:03:52,930 --> 00:03:56,030
- Action!
- Dad, Mom, Grandma...
25
00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:57,930
Uncle Moke... uh...
26
00:03:57,980 --> 00:04:00,320
I'm gonna need a minute here, OK?
27
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,370
What do you mean,
you're dumping me?
28
00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:03,950
I just can't take all the
29
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,460
lying
and cheating on each other anymore.
30
00:04:06,540 --> 00:04:09,410
What are you talking about?
Sweetie, I never cheated on you.
31
00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:11,550
I know. That's what makes this so hard.
32
00:04:11,610 --> 00:04:13,380
You're looking good, you guys.
33
00:04:13,450 --> 00:04:15,630
Scotty, it's not you.
34
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,880
It's me.
35
00:04:19,090 --> 00:04:22,220
There I go, lying again.
No, it was you.
36
00:04:22,290 --> 00:04:24,390
You're just so...
37
00:04:24,460 --> 00:04:26,760
...predictable.
- Smile!
38
00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:29,680
So, that's it.
39
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:31,570
Here's your letter jacket back.
40
00:04:31,630 --> 00:04:33,150
Goodbye.
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00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:35,990
This isn't mine.
42
00:04:39,490 --> 00:04:43,160
She's a keeper, huh?
Oh, wow.
43
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,360
Oh, my God.
44
00:04:46,980 --> 00:04:49,030
Fiona!
45
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:50,580
46
00:04:55,540 --> 00:04:57,540
Let's see that again.
47
00:05:00,510 --> 00:05:01,960
Fiona!
48
00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:04,660
- This is just so brutal.
49
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,050
And yet I can't look away.
Bert, play it again. Come on.
50
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,270
- Fiona!
- Bert, get out of here.
51
00:05:12,340 --> 00:05:14,470
OK.See you.
52
00:05:14,530 --> 00:05:17,340
All right. Stay black, Bert.
53
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,350
"Fiona!"
54
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,400
Mail, motherfucker!
55
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,320
Hey, I got one from Mieke.
56
00:05:27,790 --> 00:05:29,570
"Happy Herzlichen."
57
00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:32,910
Still writing that guy?
I thought that was for German class.
58
00:05:32,990 --> 00:05:36,080
Yeah at first, but we're
actually becoming good friends.
59
00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,220
He's a really cool guy.
60
00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:43,720
"Dear Mieke, greetings
from your American pen pal."
61
00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:46,370
Scotty, Girl Scouts have pen pals.
62
00:05:46,420 --> 00:05:48,560
Listen to yourself, all right?
63
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,710
You met a "cool guy" on the "internet."
64
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,980
This is how these sexual predators work.
65
00:05:54,050 --> 00:05:56,900
Next thing you know,
he'll want to "arrange a meeting"
66
00:05:56,980 --> 00:06:00,100
where he will gas you,
stuff you in the back of his van,
67
00:06:00,190 --> 00:06:02,060
and make a wind chime
out of your genitals.
68
00:06:02,110 --> 00:06:05,080
Come on, let's go to Wade's.
69
00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:06,940
All right.
Screw it. Let's go.
70
00:06:07,030 --> 00:06:09,830
I'm not gonna let Fiona
ruin my graduation night.
71
00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:11,830
Auf wiedersehen, Mieke.
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00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:13,730
73
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,340
74
00:06:26,410 --> 00:06:28,220
- What's up, losers?
- What's up, Jenny?
75
00:06:28,270 --> 00:06:29,550
What's up, dude?
76
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,720
Sorry to hear about Fiona.
She's a whore.
77
00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:33,690
That's very sweet of you.
Thanks.
78
00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:35,260
Enough Fiona talk.
79
00:06:35,310 --> 00:06:37,470
Look around.
There's gotta be 100 drunk girls.
80
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,480
We should try to have sex
with every one of 'em.
81
00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,700
Hello? Mixed company?
82
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:43,230
What?
83
00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:45,150
- I'm a girl!
- No, you're not.
84
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,900
- You're just a cool guy with long hair.
85
00:06:46,950 --> 00:06:48,990
- So, where's your evil twin brother?
86
00:06:49,070 --> 00:06:50,950
Jenny!
87
00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:52,490
There he is.
88
00:06:52,570 --> 00:06:55,880
Hey, Jamie.
In fine form, I see.
89
00:06:55,940 --> 00:06:59,280
Why'd you get me
gin and tonic?
90
00:06:59,330 --> 00:07:01,970
- I hate gin.
- You do?
91
00:07:02,050 --> 00:07:04,840
You guys are the worst twins ever!
92
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,950
93
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,260
Chug! Chug!
94
00:07:09,310 --> 00:07:12,060
95
00:07:12,130 --> 00:07:14,510
- When are you guys taking off?
- Tomorrow morning.
96
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,560
Hey, Wade!
Great party, buddy.
97
00:07:17,630 --> 00:07:19,270
98
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,130
Man, I am so excited!
99
00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:23,650
A whole summer,
backpacking around Europe.
100
00:07:23,740 --> 00:07:25,190
You should've come with us
101
00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:27,610
instead of
working for Dr. Dad, Scotty!
102
00:07:27,660 --> 00:07:29,910
It's gonna be so awesome!
103
00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:35,370
Yeah. I planned every detail of the trip
to maximize the fun!
104
00:07:35,450 --> 00:07:37,500
You brought a guidebook to a party?
105
00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:40,650
- Do you wanna see my itinerary?
- Do you wanna see my balls?
106
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:44,210
You guys decide where
you're gonna go first?
107
00:07:44,290 --> 00:07:45,960
Paris! I can't wait.
108
00:07:46,010 --> 00:07:48,330
Two years ago Nicky Jager's sister,
Debbie
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00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:49,800
met a wealthy French guy,
110
00:07:49,850 --> 00:07:52,800
and spent a month sailing
the Mediterranean on his yacht.
111
00:07:52,850 --> 00:07:55,850
Isn't that the most romantic
thing you've ever heard?
112
00:07:55,940 --> 00:07:58,690
Stuck on a boat with a weird French guy?
113
00:08:00,190 --> 00:08:01,560
That sounds a little gay.
114
00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:04,860
It's not gay. I'm a girl.
115
00:08:04,950 --> 00:08:06,700
- Kinda gay.
- A little gay.
116
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,780
I gotta piss like a pregnant woman.
117
00:08:10,850 --> 00:08:12,650
118
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:14,540
Hey, listen up, everybody.
119
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:18,120
Gotta a little special thing
I'd like to do tonight.
120
00:08:18,190 --> 00:08:20,660
Going to play
a little song for you
121
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about the nastiest, freakiest
little sex puppet I know...
122
00:08:26,470 --> 00:08:27,870
Fiona.
123
00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:30,750
124
00:08:34,210 --> 00:08:36,930
This one's for you, baby.
Happy anniversary.
125
00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:39,760
126
00:08:43,070 --> 00:08:45,850
" Scotty doesn't know
That Fiona and me
127
00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:48,570
" Do it in my van every Sunday
128
00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:51,360
" She tells him she's in church
But she doesn't go
129
00:08:51,410 --> 00:08:54,490
" Still she's on her knees
And Scotty doesn't know
130
00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:58,670
" Oh, Scotty doesn't know
131
00:08:58,730 --> 00:09:01,590
" So don't tell Scotty
Scotty doesn't know
132
00:09:01,670 --> 00:09:02,920
" Scotty doesn't know "
133
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,570
I hope we're just as popular
in college
134
00:09:05,620 --> 00:09:07,240
as we were in high school.
135
00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:08,960
- We will be.
- I know.
136
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:12,080
Who needs more Chablis?
137
00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:16,220
- Candy, wanna come with?
- No, I'll stay here.
138
00:09:16,270 --> 00:09:18,270
Hello Candy!
139
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,550
140
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,920
- Whoops!
141
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,780
Holy cow!
142
00:09:25,860 --> 00:09:28,480
Oh, this isn't where
I parked my car!
143
00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:32,870
" I can't believe
He's so trusting
144
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,540
" While I'm right behind you thrusting
145
00:09:38,610 --> 00:09:41,320
" 'Cause Scotty doesn't know
Scotty doesn't know "
146
00:09:41,410 --> 00:09:43,210
Cooper Harris, you're a pig!
147
00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,300
Uh... Candy, before you go
148
00:09:45,380 --> 00:09:47,300
you might wanna clean that off
149
00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:50,120
Clean what off?
150
00:09:50,170 --> 00:09:53,340
It's like a dirt or something...
just go like this...
151
00:09:56,340 --> 00:09:59,980
No... It's kind of under...
and to the side
152
00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:02,230
under
153
00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:04,300
Is this off?
154
00:10:04,350 --> 00:10:07,400
I think that your top is getting in the way
155
00:10:08,570 --> 00:10:11,350
Really?
Trust me
156
00:10:19,810 --> 00:10:22,980
That's better...
Keep rubbing it
157
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:31,510
" I did it with her on his birthday
158
00:10:32,710 --> 00:10:35,330
" Scotty doesn't know
Scotty doesn't know
159
00:10:35,380 --> 00:10:38,520
" Scotty doesn't know
Scotty doesn't know
160
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:42,100
" Don't tell Scotty
Scotty doesn't know "
161
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,360
Mmm-hmm... mmm-hmm...
162
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,170
No, it's just not coming off.
163
00:10:49,530 --> 00:10:51,010
What is it?
164
00:10:51,060 --> 00:10:53,610
- Fine, I'll do it.
Come here.
165
00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:55,370
Oh, my God! Candy!
166
00:10:55,450 --> 00:10:58,150
Cooper!
167
00:10:59,850 --> 00:11:02,120
Hey...
168
00:11:02,190 --> 00:11:05,190
This isn't where I parked my car.
169
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,410
170
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,630
" Scotty doesn't know
171
00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:10,410
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
172
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:17,370
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
173
00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:19,220
Hey
174
00:11:19,310 --> 00:11:23,710
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
175
00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:25,710
This band rocks!
176
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,710
- Yeah!
177
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,230
178
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,410
Mail, motherfucker!
179
00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:02,130
Hey, Mieke.
180
00:12:02,220 --> 00:12:03,630
Hey, Mieke.
181
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:05,470
"I was very sad
182
00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:08,220
to hear about
your lady woman Fiona dumping you.
183
00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:10,360
"Since you no longer have a girlfriend,
184
00:12:10,420 --> 00:12:11,940
maybe I could come to America
185
00:12:12,030 --> 00:12:13,940
"and we could get to know each
other better.
186
00:12:14,030 --> 00:12:16,600
Perhaps we could...
187
00:12:16,650 --> 00:12:18,770
"Zussamen."
188
00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:21,930
What the fuck is "zussamen"?
189
00:12:28,740 --> 00:12:30,280
"Arrange a meeting."
190
00:12:30,330 --> 00:12:33,250
No, no, no! Come on!
Cooper was right.
191
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,420
This guy wants to have sex with me
192
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,120
"Listen, Mieke...
193
00:12:39,170 --> 00:12:41,890
"I don't want to arrange
any meetings with you,
194
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:44,620
"you sick, German freak.
195
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,980
"So please keep your hands
off my genitals,
196
00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:50,100
"and never write to me again,
197
00:12:50,150 --> 00:12:52,130
and don't come to America."
198
00:12:52,650 --> 00:12:54,470
"Goodbye."
199
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,820
200
00:12:57,770 --> 00:12:59,820
Oww.
201
00:12:59,910 --> 00:13:00,870
202
00:13:00,940 --> 00:13:02,460
203
00:13:13,590 --> 00:13:18,170
I'm never drinking again.
Oh, that's nice.
204
00:13:18,260 --> 00:13:20,260
205
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,460
Bert, what are you doing?
206
00:13:23,510 --> 00:13:25,180
Reading your email.
207
00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:27,270
Don't do that.
208
00:13:28,970 --> 00:13:30,820
Why are you wearing my bathrobe?
209
00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:32,860
Oh, I'm sorry...
210
00:13:32,940 --> 00:13:36,360
but somebody pissed
all over mine last night.
211
00:13:38,030 --> 00:13:40,530
Wow. I can't believe this German chick
212
00:13:40,610 --> 00:13:42,580
wants to come here and hook up with you.
213
00:13:42,650 --> 00:13:45,150
I don't think so, buddy.
Mieke's a guy.
214
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,650
No, it says right here,
215
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,200
"Trauriges m dchen."
216
00:13:48,290 --> 00:13:50,920
"I was a sad girl to hear about Fiona."
217
00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:54,930
I'm taking "Intro to German,"
and even I know that.
218
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,260
Come here.
219
00:13:56,330 --> 00:13:58,500
He sent me a picture, retardo.
220
00:13:58,550 --> 00:14:02,340
See? That's a picture of Mieke
and his cute cousin, Jan.
221
00:14:02,390 --> 00:14:04,050
No, retardo.
222
00:14:04,140 --> 00:14:06,560
That's Jan, a man's name,
223
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,020
and that's not "Mike,"
224
00:14:08,110 --> 00:14:10,980
it's "Mieke," a common
German girl's name,
225
00:14:11,030 --> 00:14:12,860
similar to our Michelle.
226
00:14:12,950 --> 00:14:16,530
I hope you wrote her back
and told her to come visit.
227
00:14:18,690 --> 00:14:20,200
You didn't?
228
00:14:20,290 --> 00:14:22,540
You thought she was a guy!
229
00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:25,710
I'm getting the video camera! Ha!
230
00:14:25,790 --> 00:14:28,530
What an asshole!
231
00:14:28,580 --> 00:14:30,160
No.
232
00:14:30,210 --> 00:14:31,410
No.
233
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:34,700
No.
234
00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:40,220
235
00:15:04,950 --> 00:15:07,920
"Address blocked"?
"Email not delivered."
236
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,120
No... come on!!
237
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:13,420
Hey, Mom made waffles.
238
00:15:13,510 --> 00:15:16,960
- What's going on?
- I'm in love with my penpal.
239
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:18,960
I'm in love with Mieke.
240
00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:24,050
OK... OK.
241
00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:28,140
You know what?
I was actually expecting this.
242
00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:29,420
And frankly.. No listen...
243
00:15:29,790 --> 00:15:32,140
I'm flattered that
you picked me to come out to first.
244
00:15:32,230 --> 00:15:35,400
And don't worry about
telling your folks, 'cause...
245
00:15:35,450 --> 00:15:38,360
- I think they already know.
- No, you idiot. Mike is a girl.
246
00:15:38,430 --> 00:15:39,870
No, no, I get it. Yeah.
247
00:15:39,930 --> 00:15:41,780
He's the girl, and you're the girl,
248
00:15:41,870 --> 00:15:44,700
and sometimes you're both the girl.
249
00:15:44,770 --> 00:15:46,490
Right?
250
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,940
Right? That's hot.
251
00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:52,300
But you know... whatever works for you.
I'm not gonna judge it.
252
00:15:52,380 --> 00:15:55,500
Will you stop? Look, come here.
Look at this picture.
253
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,620
Wow. Who's the hot chick?
254
00:15:58,670 --> 00:16:01,790
That's "Mike." I mean, Mieke.
255
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:04,810
That's Mieke? That's who you've been writing to
all this time?
256
00:16:04,890 --> 00:16:07,010
No! Until last night,
when I took your advice
257
00:16:07,090 --> 00:16:09,850
and told her to keep her
"hands off my genitals."
258
00:16:09,930 --> 00:16:13,730
Given what we know now, that seems like
the exact opposite of what you want.
259
00:16:14,970 --> 00:16:16,440
260
00:16:16,490 --> 00:16:18,190
This is a total disaster.
261
00:16:18,270 --> 00:16:20,320
Oh, come on. It's not that bad.
262
00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:22,810
Though she is really hot.
263
00:16:22,860 --> 00:16:26,160
You're not listening.
I don't even care what she looks like.
264
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:29,530
Mieke and I had this incredible bond.
265
00:16:29,620 --> 00:16:31,780
I told her things
I couldn't even tell you.
266
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:34,750
Like what?
267
00:16:34,820 --> 00:16:36,870
- Nothing. It's a figure of speech.
268
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,790
- No, seriously. What?
- Nothing. The point...
269
00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:40,760
- You like me better, right?
Would ya stop.. listen
270
00:16:40,830 --> 00:16:45,093
This girl is not only smart and funny,
and stunningly beautiful,
271
00:16:45,094 --> 00:16:45,160
but
272
00:16:45,220 --> 00:16:47,220
until I screwed up, she actually wanted to
273
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:49,470
to come all the way to America just to be with me.
274
00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:52,670
- So do something about it.
- What can I do?
275
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:56,110
She blocked her email account,
her phone number's not listed.
276
00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:58,280
The only thing I know
is she lives in Berlin.
277
00:16:58,350 --> 00:16:59,810
So go to Berlin.
278
00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:03,650
I can't just go to Berlin, Coop.
279
00:17:03,700 --> 00:17:05,790
- Why not?
- Because...
280
00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:07,790
I just can't, OK?
281
00:17:07,850 --> 00:17:09,570
I'm supposed
to work for my dad this summer.
282
00:17:09,660 --> 00:17:11,960
It looks good on
my med school application.
283
00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:13,880
Oh, Jesus, Scotty!
284
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:17,050
Man, Fiona was right.
You're so predictable.
285
00:17:26,710 --> 00:17:29,040
- I'm going to Germany.
- No...
286
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:31,480
We're going to Germany.
287
00:17:39,070 --> 00:17:41,100
How are we going
to get to Germany?
288
00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:43,720
Don't worry. I've got it covered.
289
00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:47,530
- We're going to be couriers?
290
00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:49,330
- Best way to get a cheap flight.
291
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,250
All we have to carry their packages,
then
292
00:17:51,330 --> 00:17:53,000
drop them off when we get there.
293
00:17:53,070 --> 00:17:54,670
- My cousin did it going to India.
294
00:17:54,730 --> 00:17:56,040
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
295
00:17:56,090 --> 00:17:59,590
Of course, he ended up using
a public restroom in New Delhi
296
00:17:59,670 --> 00:18:03,130
and they had to cut off his leg.
You know...
297
00:18:03,210 --> 00:18:05,930
but he got there cheap,
is what I'm saying.
298
00:18:06,010 --> 00:18:09,220
OK, I don't have anything
to Germany for a week.
299
00:18:09,270 --> 00:18:13,420
But I can get you both
to London today for $118.
300
00:18:13,470 --> 00:18:16,110
Anything else?
Europe is the size of the Eastwood Mall.
301
00:18:16,190 --> 00:18:18,270
We can walk to Berlin from there.
302
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:20,690
- Cooper, England's an island.
303
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,780
- OK, swim. Whatever.
304
00:18:23,860 --> 00:18:25,310
We'll take it.
305
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,610
Hey.
306
00:18:41,670 --> 00:18:43,300
Thanks for coming with me.
307
00:18:43,380 --> 00:18:45,620
I know you had that internship
at the law firm this summer.
308
00:18:45,670 --> 00:18:48,050
Well, forget about the law firm.
309
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:51,840
And don't thank me.
I should be thanking you.
310
00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:54,890
This trip is
a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me
311
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:56,900
to broaden my sexual horizons.
312
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,400
What are you talking about?
313
00:18:59,470 --> 00:19:01,730
I'm talking about crazy European sex.
314
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,270
Ah.
315
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,360
You know America was founded by prudes.
bởi những người đàn bà đoan trang.
316
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,940
Prudes who left Europe,
because they hated
317
00:19:09,990 --> 00:19:14,200
it all the kinky, steamy
European sex that was going on.
318
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:17,820
And now I, Cooper Harris,
319
00:19:17,870 --> 00:19:20,950
will return to the land
of my perverted forefathers
320
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,660
and claim my birthright,
which is a
321
00:19:24,710 --> 00:19:28,330
series of erotic and sexually
challenging adventures.
322
00:19:30,010 --> 00:19:33,350
You've really thought a lot
about this, haven't you?
323
00:19:33,430 --> 00:19:35,180
It's my passion.
324
00:19:35,270 --> 00:19:40,390
325
00:19:49,650 --> 00:19:51,780
Come on, come on!
326
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,520
- The adventure begins.
327
00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:58,370
- Welcome to jolly old England.
328
00:19:58,460 --> 00:20:01,990
Yeah, breathe that sweet,
sexy, European air.
329
00:20:02,050 --> 00:20:03,580
330
00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:05,000
- Oh.
- What is that?
331
00:20:05,050 --> 00:20:07,630
It's the phone they gave me
at the law firm.
332
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:09,340
Yeah, it's pretty neat, huh?
333
00:20:09,390 --> 00:20:11,090
- Works anywhere.
- Yeah?
334
00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:12,870
Excuse me.
335
00:20:13,970 --> 00:20:15,810
Cooper here.
336
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:17,810
Hello, Mr. Walters.
337
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:21,010
Yes, sir, I'm down in file storage.
338
00:20:21,060 --> 00:20:22,900
Um, hang on one second.
339
00:20:28,410 --> 00:20:31,240
No, sir, I can't find
the Gutterman file anywhere.
340
00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:32,990
Yes, sir, I'll keep looking.
341
00:20:33,060 --> 00:20:34,890
I don't rest until I find it.
342
00:20:36,230 --> 00:20:38,330
Didn't tell your boss
you were leaving the country?
343
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,830
They would've stopped paying me.
It seemed easier.
344
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:44,200
- So, where to?
- I don't know.
345
00:20:44,250 --> 00:20:46,290
First bus to Berlin doesn't leave
till tomorrow.
346
00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,710
What do you wanna do?
Got the Tower of London...
347
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,240
there's Buckingham Palace.
348
00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:53,430
- Uh...
- There's no drinking age.
349
00:20:53,510 --> 00:20:55,380
Đi thôi!
Khẩn trương nào.
350
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:59,550
- Hey!"The Fiesty Goat."
351
00:21:01,590 --> 00:21:03,520
352
00:21:03,590 --> 00:21:04,920
All right!
353
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,810
What do you wanna...
354
00:21:17,490 --> 00:21:20,710
Soccer hooligans.
355
00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:24,160
356
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,750
Hey, this isn't where
I parked my car!
357
00:21:27,780 --> 00:21:29,080
Oy!
358
00:21:29,970 --> 00:21:32,280
Who the bloody hell are you?
359
00:21:33,420 --> 00:21:35,170
This is a private members bar,
360
00:21:35,260 --> 00:21:37,720
exclusively for the supporters
361
00:21:37,790 --> 00:21:40,640
of the greatest
football team in the world...
362
00:21:40,730 --> 00:21:43,300
Manchester United.
363
00:21:43,350 --> 00:21:46,570
Now please, enlighten me.
364
00:21:46,630 --> 00:21:48,150
Who the fuck are you?!
365
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,970
That is a good question,
366
00:21:50,020 --> 00:21:52,150
and... Scotty?
367
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:53,810
Huh?
368
00:21:56,360 --> 00:22:00,310
We're the Manchester United fan club...
369
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,150
from Ohio.
370
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,950
If you're Manchester United
supporters...
371
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,700
sing the Manchester United song.
372
00:22:07,790 --> 00:22:09,540
Excuse me, I'm sorry.
373
00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:11,170
I'm not much of a singer...
374
00:22:11,260 --> 00:22:14,180
- Sing!!
" My baby takes
375
00:22:14,260 --> 00:22:16,330
♪ " The morning train ♪
376
00:22:16,380 --> 00:22:21,600
♪ " He works from 9 to 5 and then he ♪
377
00:22:21,670 --> 00:22:25,470
♪ " takes another home again ♪
378
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:27,940
♪ " To find me... ♪
379
00:22:29,310 --> 00:22:33,230
♪ " watching the Manchester United
football team! " ♪
380
00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:34,850
Eh?
381
00:22:34,900 --> 00:22:39,400
The best freakin' team
in all the land! Whoo-hoo!
382
00:22:45,910 --> 00:22:47,380
Pretty good.
383
00:22:47,460 --> 00:22:49,710
- Pretty dang good, lads!
- Yeah!
384
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:51,500
385
00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:53,880
386
00:22:53,970 --> 00:22:55,050
387
00:22:57,220 --> 00:23:01,640
♪ " My baby takes the morning train ♪
388
00:23:01,710 --> 00:23:05,760
♪ " He works from 9 to 5 and then ♪
389
00:23:05,850 --> 00:23:09,400
♪ " He takes another home again ♪
390
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:13,270
♪ " To find me waiting for him ♪
391
00:23:13,350 --> 00:23:17,860
♪ " He's always
on that morning train " ♪
392
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,780
I've unblocked
your email address,
393
00:23:22,860 --> 00:23:25,830
but this Scott is not responding.
394
00:23:27,870 --> 00:23:30,090
He was the one.
395
00:23:32,070 --> 00:23:34,340
I was going to give myself to him.
396
00:23:35,590 --> 00:23:38,380
Perhaps you should give
yourself to someone else...
397
00:23:41,470 --> 00:23:43,580
Frulein.
398
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:52,810
399
00:24:04,290 --> 00:24:06,770
I'm never drinking again.
400
00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:08,410
Coop, wake up.
401
00:24:08,460 --> 00:24:11,130
Oh, man, that was a wild night.
402
00:24:13,830 --> 00:24:15,460
You think?
403
00:24:15,550 --> 00:24:18,800
404
00:24:22,970 --> 00:24:25,170
Scotty, where the hell are we going?
405
00:24:25,260 --> 00:24:27,590
Don't worry. If anything
bad happens
406
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,180
my parents will find us.
407
00:24:29,260 --> 00:24:32,260
Honey, where's Scotty?
408
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:35,270
- Cooper said they were going camping.
409
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,270
- Oh, that's nice.
410
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:39,140
And where's Bert?
411
00:24:39,190 --> 00:24:41,490
Fuck if I know.
412
00:24:41,580 --> 00:24:45,310
413
00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:47,530
414
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:55,170
Hey!
How are you, you scalawag!
415
00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:57,710
Look, given the current
geopolitical climate,
416
00:24:57,790 --> 00:25:00,880
all European countries should
have a seat at the table.
417
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,500
- Right.
- Except those fucking Ities.
418
00:25:03,550 --> 00:25:05,830
I hate them Italian bastards.
419
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:07,830
- You know what I mean?
-
420
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:09,270
Hello, boyo!
421
00:25:09,340 --> 00:25:11,100
- What the hell happened last night?
422
00:25:11,170 --> 00:25:13,560
- You got steamed up, pissed as a fart.
.
423
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:15,390
Too much sauce, son.
424
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:16,730
Don't worry.
425
00:25:16,810 --> 00:25:19,680
We come and got ya,
so you wouldn't miss the trip.
426
00:25:19,730 --> 00:25:21,560
What trip?
427
00:25:21,650 --> 00:25:23,180
- Where are we going?
428
00:25:23,230 --> 00:25:24,900
- What do you mean, where are we going?
429
00:25:24,990 --> 00:25:28,040
We're going to see the Mighty
Reds do the frogs in Paris.
430
00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:29,020
Aren't we, boys?
431
00:25:29,070 --> 00:25:31,790
Yeah!
432
00:25:31,860 --> 00:25:33,530
Why are you yelling at me?
433
00:25:33,580 --> 00:25:36,190
So I tell the swamp donkey
to sock it
434
00:25:36,250 --> 00:25:39,050
before I give her a trunky
in the tradesman's entrance
435
00:25:39,130 --> 00:25:41,530
and have her lick me yardballs!
436
00:25:43,540 --> 00:25:45,200
Wow.
437
00:25:45,260 --> 00:25:48,310
You guys are on a completely
different level of swearing over here.
438
00:25:48,370 --> 00:25:51,390
Coop? Cooper,
we're going to Paris.
439
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:53,400
I know. Cecil told me.
440
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,050
Mieke's in Berlin.
We're not going to Berlin.
441
00:25:56,100 --> 00:25:57,770
What are we gonna do?
We need a plan.
442
00:25:57,850 --> 00:26:01,550
See what I'm talking about?
This is predictable Scotty talking.
443
00:26:01,610 --> 00:26:04,520
Relax. Paris is practically a suburb
of Berlin.
444
00:26:04,770 --> 00:26:06,410
It's a nothing commute.
445
00:26:06,490 --> 00:26:08,830
That's why France and Germany
have always been allies.
446
00:26:08,900 --> 00:26:10,110
Allies
447
00:26:12,700 --> 00:26:15,070
The twins.
The twins are in Paris, right?
448
00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:18,340
We give 'em a call. They could help us out.
Let me see your phone. I'll give 'em a call
449
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:21,590
Alright, but I'm only supposed
to use this for business calls.
450
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,460
Hey, don't...
451
00:26:25,850 --> 00:26:27,510
452
00:26:27,580 --> 00:26:30,130
453
00:26:37,310 --> 00:26:39,390
454
00:26:40,810 --> 00:26:42,780
You're on the wrong side of the road,
455
00:26:42,860 --> 00:26:44,760
you snail-eating puffs.
456
00:26:44,810 --> 00:26:48,820
Fuck off! Go on, you Gaelic
fucking garlic-breath tossers!
457
00:26:48,900 --> 00:26:51,100
Piss off!
Get in here and say that,
458
00:26:51,150 --> 00:26:53,490
you froggy Itie shities!
459
00:26:56,330 --> 00:26:58,790
- Fucking beep!
460
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,950
We'll beep, you bastard,
all over your fucking nose!
461
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,050
Get out of the way! Piss off!
462
00:27:12,060 --> 00:27:13,340
Hey, lads!
463
00:27:13,430 --> 00:27:16,060
That wanker's got
a frog football shirt on!
464
00:27:16,130 --> 00:27:18,400
Let's give this nancy
a fucking good kicking!
465
00:27:18,460 --> 00:27:21,020
Come on, lads, he's going off!
466
00:27:21,100 --> 00:27:23,650
467
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:39,030
All right. Twins said
they'd meet us here.
468
00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:40,040
Look at that!
469
00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:41,920
There they are. Come on. Jenny!
470
00:27:41,990 --> 00:27:44,320
- Jamie!
- Hey!
471
00:27:44,370 --> 00:27:45,320
Come here!
472
00:27:45,380 --> 00:27:46,490
No, no. No, no, no!
473
00:27:46,540 --> 00:27:49,130
- Scott, bienvenu a Paris.
- Thank you.
474
00:27:49,180 --> 00:27:51,830
- What is that? A new camera?
- It isn't just a camera,
475
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,830
This is a Leica M7.
476
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,000
Uber-sensitive exposure settings,
477
00:27:56,050 --> 00:27:57,840
legendary cloth shutter system.
478
00:27:57,890 --> 00:28:00,560
- Let me see that thing.
- No can do.
479
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,680
I spent four years tutoring
lacrosse players to pay for it,
480
00:28:03,730 --> 00:28:06,700
so nobody touches my camera but me.
481
00:28:06,780 --> 00:28:08,980
- It's like your wiener.
- No, it's not...
482
00:28:09,030 --> 00:28:11,230
- Jenny...
- Cooper, leave him alone.
483
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,790
Wow, I can't believe you came
all the way to Europe for a girl.
484
00:28:14,850 --> 00:28:16,570
Wait, not just any girl.
485
00:28:16,660 --> 00:28:18,360
Show her the picture, Scotty.
486
00:28:18,410 --> 00:28:21,130
She makes girls in our high school
look like walruses.
487
00:28:21,190 --> 00:28:23,360
I'm a girl from your high school.
488
00:28:23,410 --> 00:28:24,860
No, I mean "girl" girls.
489
00:28:24,910 --> 00:28:27,750
Guys, we're wasting the whole day here.
We're in Paris!
490
00:28:27,830 --> 00:28:29,200
Hãy tới Viện bảo tàng Louvre!
491
00:28:29,250 --> 00:28:31,170
To the Louvre!
492
00:29:05,670 --> 00:29:07,290
So, you guys wanna stay here,
493
00:29:07,370 --> 00:29:10,410
should we check out
the huge line at the Eiffel Tower?
494
00:29:10,460 --> 00:29:11,910
Here's a fun fact. Voltaire
495
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,410
contracted
syphilis two blocks from here.
496
00:29:14,460 --> 00:29:16,630
- Should we go?
- Can we please get out of here?
497
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,920
- This guy's really creeping me out.
- Who, robot man?
498
00:29:19,970 --> 00:29:22,770
He's just trying to feed
his robot family.
499
00:29:22,860 --> 00:29:25,110
- I really don't like him.
- Why?
500
00:29:25,190 --> 00:29:28,430
Because he's doing this?
501
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,310
OK, seriously, don't do that.
502
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,700
Cooper.
Do not hate me.
503
00:29:35,620 --> 00:29:37,570
I am familiar with
over 600 dance moves
504
00:29:37,620 --> 00:29:39,770
and I am programmed to get...
505
00:29:39,820 --> 00:29:42,270
506
00:29:43,830 --> 00:29:46,040
freaky.
507
00:29:48,610 --> 00:29:49,630
508
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,080
509
00:29:57,790 --> 00:30:00,390
You're just upset because
people like me better.
510
00:30:00,460 --> 00:30:01,390
It's okay.
511
00:30:01,460 --> 00:30:02,460
512
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:05,680
513
00:30:26,950 --> 00:30:28,200
Oh!
514
00:30:32,260 --> 00:30:34,630
515
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:43,800
Fight! Fight!
516
00:30:47,110 --> 00:30:49,470
Break the leg shot!
517
00:30:57,230 --> 00:30:58,980
518
00:30:59,690 --> 00:31:01,120
Ha! Ha! Ha!
519
00:31:06,130 --> 00:31:08,240
Don't look in his eyes, Scotty.
520
00:31:13,580 --> 00:31:16,130
- Ohhh!
- That was not cool.
521
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:19,140
Ha! Ha! Ha!
522
00:31:23,210 --> 00:31:24,380
523
00:31:24,430 --> 00:31:27,760
524
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,990
Arghhhhh!
525
00:31:41,490 --> 00:31:44,110
Oh!
526
00:31:47,530 --> 00:31:49,030
Guys, let's go. Come on.
527
00:31:49,090 --> 00:31:50,420
528
00:31:53,010 --> 00:31:56,430
Error! Error! Error!
529
00:31:56,510 --> 00:31:59,260
How cool is this?
530
00:31:59,350 --> 00:32:02,080
It's a shame we only get
to spend one day together.
531
00:32:02,130 --> 00:32:04,600
Why don't you come to Berlin?
- Umm, no.
532
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:07,800
Jamie, come on. In a few months,
we go to different colleges.
533
00:32:07,890 --> 00:32:11,810
This could be the last chance the four
of us are together like this.
534
00:32:11,890 --> 00:32:13,760
Plus, we're in Europe. Huh?
535
00:32:13,810 --> 00:32:15,940
This should be the trip of a lifetime.
536
00:32:16,030 --> 00:32:18,150
There's no way we should split up.
537
00:32:18,230 --> 00:32:21,870
All right, this table
is now Europe, OK?
538
00:32:22,900 --> 00:32:24,200
Excuse me.
539
00:32:24,270 --> 00:32:27,540
We are right here, in Paris,
540
00:32:27,610 --> 00:32:29,790
and I have got to get to Mieke,
541
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:32,290
who is over here, in Berlin.
542
00:32:32,380 --> 00:32:34,330
And Jamie...If you come with us,
I'm sure there's a
543
00:32:34,410 --> 00:32:36,630
ton of great stuffs that you could see along the way.
544
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:40,550
- We can go to Denmark.
- I love Denmark.
545
00:32:40,620 --> 00:32:43,140
- We gotta hit Amsterdam.
- Definitely.
546
00:32:43,220 --> 00:32:46,140
And the cathedral at Cameret!
547
00:32:47,340 --> 00:32:49,310
- Yeah...
- Maybe. We'll see.
548
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:51,850
- Whatever.
- If there's time.
549
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:55,970
Come on! I really want you
to be there when I meet Mieke.
550
00:32:56,020 --> 00:32:57,940
Fine.
551
00:32:57,990 --> 00:32:59,660
- Excellent!
- All right!
552
00:32:59,740 --> 00:33:02,810
- A toast!
- Yes!
553
00:33:02,860 --> 00:33:04,990
- To Mieke!
- To Europe!
554
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:06,500
To Europe!
555
00:33:06,580 --> 00:33:08,250
Merci.
556
00:33:09,530 --> 00:33:12,250
- Berlin, here we come!
- All right.
557
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:13,920
you better let me hold onto those.
558
00:33:18,590 --> 00:33:21,930
- What the hell is that?
- It's a traveler's money belt.
559
00:33:21,990 --> 00:33:24,300
Frommer's says
if you have one of these,
560
00:33:24,350 --> 00:33:26,100
no one can rob you of anything.
561
00:33:26,170 --> 00:33:27,680
Except your dignity.
562
00:33:27,770 --> 00:33:30,340
No, you just put that in your...
563
00:33:30,390 --> 00:33:31,720
wait, what?
564
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,220
Come on, guidebook. Let's go.
565
00:33:36,810 --> 00:33:38,280
Check it out.
566
00:33:38,340 --> 00:33:40,860
European ass.
567
00:33:42,850 --> 00:33:44,530
What's up?
568
00:33:47,350 --> 00:33:50,740
Jesus, Jenny.
I thought you were some...
569
00:33:50,820 --> 00:33:53,460
girl. Come on. Platform 4.
570
00:33:53,530 --> 00:33:55,660
Thanks.
571
00:33:57,030 --> 00:33:58,250
Damn!
572
00:34:02,030 --> 00:34:04,090
I believe this is yours.
573
00:34:07,370 --> 00:34:09,420
Pleased to meet you.
574
00:34:09,510 --> 00:34:11,060
My name is Christoph.
575
00:34:11,140 --> 00:34:13,930
- Jenny, let's go!
- Move it!
576
00:34:14,010 --> 00:34:17,320
Those are my friends.
We're supposed to go to Berlin...
577
00:34:17,380 --> 00:34:19,600
- Jenny!
- I'm coming!!
578
00:34:19,690 --> 00:34:23,110
So, it was really nice
to meet you.
579
00:34:23,190 --> 00:34:25,110
The pleasure was all mine...
580
00:34:26,740 --> 00:34:28,660
Jennifer.
581
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:43,180
582
00:34:51,550 --> 00:34:57,310
583
00:35:12,490 --> 00:35:15,120
" Scotty doesn't know
That Fiona and me "
584
00:35:15,210 --> 00:35:18,130
" Do it in my van on Sundays "
585
00:35:18,210 --> 00:35:20,630
" Tells him she's... "
What?
586
00:35:20,710 --> 00:35:24,170
You gotta admit,
it's a really catchy tune.
587
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:29,550
" Tells him she's in church
But she doesn't go "
588
00:35:29,620 --> 00:35:33,010
" Still she's on her knees
And Scotty doesn't know "
589
00:35:33,090 --> 00:35:34,640
" Scotty doesn't know "
590
00:35:34,730 --> 00:35:37,760
- " Scotty doesn't... "
- Buongiorno.
591
00:35:41,150 --> 00:35:43,970
Buongiorno.
592
00:35:50,530 --> 00:35:53,700
You know, there are a lot
of other empty compartments.
593
00:35:53,780 --> 00:35:55,330
Huh?
594
00:35:55,410 --> 00:35:57,530
Ah! Si...
595
00:35:57,620 --> 00:35:59,200
Si.
596
00:36:32,020 --> 00:36:33,550
Pardon me.
597
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:34,750
Eh?
598
00:36:35,970 --> 00:36:37,720
Ohhh...
599
00:36:37,770 --> 00:36:39,270
Scusi.
600
00:36:40,230 --> 00:36:42,310
Mi scusi.
601
00:36:47,430 --> 00:36:48,900
602
00:37:06,590 --> 00:37:08,120
Hi.
603
00:37:08,170 --> 00:37:09,840
Buongiorno.
604
00:37:21,430 --> 00:37:25,150
- What the hell are you doing?
- Mi scusi, mi scusi.
605
00:37:25,240 --> 00:37:26,570
No! No, no, no!
606
00:37:29,140 --> 00:37:30,740
- Uh-oh.
- What?
607
00:37:30,810 --> 00:37:31,830
Big tunnel.
608
00:37:35,310 --> 00:37:39,000
Who's touching me?
Scotty, is that you?
609
00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:40,950
Ai sờ mó tao thế?!
Scotty!
610
00:37:46,380 --> 00:37:50,050
Oh!
611
00:37:50,130 --> 00:37:51,930
Mi Scusi.
612
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,980
Crans Sur Mer.
We change trains here.
613
00:38:11,780 --> 00:38:14,450
Well, we got a couple
of hours to kill.
614
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:16,200
What's there to see in this town?
615
00:38:16,290 --> 00:38:19,360
Hello? The Monument des Poissonieres.
616
00:38:19,410 --> 00:38:22,690
It's a monument to all the local
fishermen who were lost at sea.
617
00:38:22,750 --> 00:38:25,880
Frommer's says it's supposed
to be..."quite moving."
618
00:38:25,970 --> 00:38:28,800
What the hell is wrong with you, C-3PO?
619
00:38:28,870 --> 00:38:31,700
We're here to see Europe,
not some crappy statue.
620
00:38:31,750 --> 00:38:33,760
I'm taking a nap.
621
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,890
Wake me up when the train gets here.
622
00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:39,140
Hmm. Says here this town
has a famous nude beach.
623
00:38:39,210 --> 00:38:41,760
All right, we can't all
just lie around all day.
624
00:38:41,850 --> 00:38:44,650
We gotta get out there and experience
the culture firsthand.
625
00:38:44,720 --> 00:38:47,100
Let's go exploring!
626
00:38:49,740 --> 00:38:52,190
So, what's the etiquette on boners?
627
00:38:52,240 --> 00:38:54,110
Do I roll over and dig out
a hole for it,
628
00:38:54,190 --> 00:38:57,250
or is it cool to just let my flag fly?
629
00:38:57,330 --> 00:38:59,830
Wait, wait.
630
00:38:59,900 --> 00:39:02,450
Does "nude beach" mean
we have to get naked, too?
631
00:39:02,540 --> 00:39:04,240
Of course.
632
00:39:04,290 --> 00:39:05,700
Do you think you can go an hour
633
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:07,910
without your currency colostomy bag?
634
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:11,180
Hey! Hey! As long as this thing has
our money and passports in it,
635
00:39:11,240 --> 00:39:14,850
it's not coming off, and
my trunks won't come off, either.
636
00:39:14,910 --> 00:39:16,180
Come on, Jamie
637
00:39:16,250 --> 00:39:18,420
You came all the way to Europe.
638
00:39:18,470 --> 00:39:20,300
Can't wimp out now.
639
00:39:22,420 --> 00:39:23,520
OK.
640
00:39:23,590 --> 00:39:25,360
All right, on the count of three.
641
00:39:25,420 --> 00:39:26,520
Here we go.
642
00:39:26,590 --> 00:39:28,190
3,2,1...
643
00:39:28,260 --> 00:39:31,060
Look at Jamie's penis!
644
00:39:31,110 --> 00:39:32,950
Very funny. Very funny.
645
00:39:33,030 --> 00:39:34,270
All right.
646
00:39:35,950 --> 00:39:38,940
Let the crazy European
sex odyssey begin.
647
00:39:38,990 --> 00:39:39,990
- Here we go.
- Really?
648
00:39:40,070 --> 00:39:41,540
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
649
00:39:44,810 --> 00:39:48,210
- Hello, ladies!
650
00:39:53,420 --> 00:39:56,500
- Ladies?
- Bitches?
651
00:39:56,590 --> 00:39:59,560
Eww! What a rip!
There's no nude girls here,
652
00:39:59,630 --> 00:40:01,760
Just guys like us
looking for nude girls.
653
00:40:01,810 --> 00:40:04,060
I don't understand.
654
00:40:04,130 --> 00:40:07,400
"Crans Sur Mer has one of the best
nude beaches on the continent.
655
00:40:07,470 --> 00:40:08,970
"However...
656
00:40:12,240 --> 00:40:14,160
"during the summer,
the European women
657
00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:16,490
"are chased away
by gawking male tourists,
658
00:40:16,580 --> 00:40:18,830
"so Europe's most nubile exhibitionists
659
00:40:18,910 --> 00:40:20,610
head to the deserted beach
660
00:40:20,660 --> 00:40:23,000
" right next to the Monument des Poissonieres."
661
00:40:25,820 --> 00:40:28,150
662
00:40:39,130 --> 00:40:42,000
There's so many penises.
663
00:40:42,050 --> 00:40:45,520
Frommer's tried to tell you,
but you just didn't listen.
664
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:47,860
This is the biggest
sausage fest on earth.
665
00:40:47,940 --> 00:40:50,440
It's the international house of sausage.
666
00:40:50,510 --> 00:40:51,860
Hey!
667
00:40:53,530 --> 00:40:56,730
- Thanks for waiting.
- You're not missing anything.
668
00:40:56,820 --> 00:40:58,280
It's all guys.
669
00:40:58,350 --> 00:41:01,290
At least the sun's out.
670
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:05,910
671
00:41:05,990 --> 00:41:08,410
♪ Dreams come true ♪
672
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:23,090
♪ I made my dreams come true ♪
673
00:41:23,180 --> 00:41:26,040
♪ My dreams come true ♪
674
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:30,400
Holy crap!
675
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:33,490
What? I thought this was a nude beach.
676
00:41:33,550 --> 00:41:36,550
No!!!
677
00:41:40,390 --> 00:41:41,910
- Huh? No.
- What? What are you doing?
678
00:41:41,990 --> 00:41:45,030
- Jenny, you gotta cover up.
679
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:46,900
Girl?
680
00:41:46,950 --> 00:41:48,080
Girl!
681
00:41:48,170 --> 00:41:53,000
Ooh, girl.
Girl... girl.
682
00:41:53,070 --> 00:41:55,910
Girl... girl...
683
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:57,240
Run!
684
00:41:57,290 --> 00:41:59,630
685
00:42:03,820 --> 00:42:05,220
- I'm not gonna make it.
686
00:42:05,270 --> 00:42:07,890
- Go on without me.
- All right. See ya.
687
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:13,060
Chica! Chica!
688
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:23,480
Chica! Chica!
689
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:29,410
690
00:42:33,210 --> 00:42:35,250
Reading Mieke's old emails again?
691
00:42:35,300 --> 00:42:36,830
Yeah.
692
00:42:38,500 --> 00:42:42,300
I have no idea what I'm going
to say to that girl when I see her.
693
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:46,840
You know, she said
I might be the one?
694
00:42:46,930 --> 00:42:48,390
That's huge.
695
00:42:48,460 --> 00:42:51,930
I've never been "the one" before.
696
00:42:51,980 --> 00:42:55,980
Thought I was "the one" with Fiona,
but turns out I was, what, 101?
697
00:42:56,070 --> 00:42:58,600
- 200.
- 200!
698
00:42:58,650 --> 00:43:00,990
Look, you got nothing to worry about.
699
00:43:01,070 --> 00:43:04,580
You'll show up and sweep her
off her German feet.
700
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:07,860
Thanks.
701
00:43:14,990 --> 00:43:17,340
Yeah.
702
00:43:17,420 --> 00:43:19,540
I will, won't I?
703
00:43:22,490 --> 00:43:24,760
I'm so sad and lonely.
704
00:43:24,830 --> 00:43:27,460
I just wish someone
would show up
705
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:30,000
and sweep me off
my German feet.
706
00:43:30,050 --> 00:43:32,770
Mieke! I'm here.
707
00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:34,440
Scotty!
708
00:43:34,510 --> 00:43:36,520
About that last email.
I'm so sorry...
709
00:43:36,610 --> 00:43:39,690
The past is the past.
You're here now.
710
00:43:39,780 --> 00:43:43,450
I've been saving myself for you.
711
00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:47,120
Let us make love
for one whole month.
712
00:43:50,070 --> 00:43:53,660
Touch me, Scotty.
713
00:43:55,710 --> 00:43:57,300
OK.
714
00:43:57,360 --> 00:44:02,130
715
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:05,300
716
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:18,320
Oh, Scott...
717
00:44:18,380 --> 00:44:21,220
- Honey
718
00:44:21,270 --> 00:44:23,020
- Honey
719
00:44:23,070 --> 00:44:25,560
- Honey
720
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:29,560
- Honey
721
00:44:29,610 --> 00:44:31,610
- Honey
722
00:44:31,700 --> 00:44:34,830
723
00:44:38,170 --> 00:44:39,240
Mi scusi.
724
00:44:39,290 --> 00:44:42,870
725
00:44:42,930 --> 00:44:45,840
Mi scusi!
726
00:44:45,910 --> 00:44:49,180
♪ " Hot stuff baby this evening " ♪
727
00:44:49,250 --> 00:44:51,250
♪ " Gotta have some hot stuff " ♪
728
00:44:51,300 --> 00:44:54,350
♪ " Gotta have some love tonight " ♪
729
00:44:54,420 --> 00:44:56,640
♪ " Hot stuff " ♪
730
00:45:12,870 --> 00:45:15,440
Guys, our train
doesn't leave till morning.
731
00:45:15,490 --> 00:45:16,990
- Are we gonna sleep tonight?
732
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:18,460
- What do you mean, sleep?
733
00:45:18,540 --> 00:45:20,880
We can sleep on the train tomorrow.
734
00:45:20,950 --> 00:45:23,950
This is the best that could've happened.
We're in Amsterdam!
735
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:26,330
This is the drug and
sex capital of Europe!
736
00:45:27,470 --> 00:45:28,470
Take a look at this.
737
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:33,960
"Club Vandersexxx."
738
00:45:34,010 --> 00:45:37,100
"The red light district's
hottest sex club."
739
00:45:37,150 --> 00:45:39,900
We have to check it out.
Who's with me?
740
00:45:39,970 --> 00:45:41,350
I'll go.
741
00:45:41,430 --> 00:45:44,320
Fine. Since no one else
is willing to go,
742
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:46,070
I'll just go myself.
743
00:46:00,990 --> 00:46:03,840
♪ " I see " ♪
744
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:06,370
♪ " You're waiting for me " ♪
745
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:11,260
This is definitely
where I parked my car.
746
00:46:13,380 --> 00:46:15,350
Hello there.
747
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,270
Welcome to Club Vandersexxx...
748
00:46:19,340 --> 00:46:22,270
Amsterdam's most erotic club,
749
00:46:22,340 --> 00:46:25,610
where your every fantasy
will be fulfilled.
750
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:28,530
Also says I get
a free T-shirt with flyer.
751
00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:33,070
He's American.
752
00:46:33,150 --> 00:46:38,210
How sad for you to grow up
in a country founded by prudes.
753
00:46:38,290 --> 00:46:42,880
A country overrun
with crime and illiteracy.
754
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:45,630
A country where a man
is forced to make sex
755
00:46:45,700 --> 00:46:47,630
to only one woman at a time,
756
00:46:47,700 --> 00:46:50,550
and one must learn
the woman's name beforehand.
757
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:54,220
- It was horrible.
- I know.
758
00:46:54,310 --> 00:46:56,370
But you can come with me...
759
00:46:56,430 --> 00:46:59,510
and let the Vandersexxx begin.
760
00:47:02,050 --> 00:47:03,710
761
00:47:03,770 --> 00:47:07,690
♪ " Marijuana in my soul " ♪
762
00:47:07,740 --> 00:47:09,720
♪ " Your iguana in my hall " ♪
763
00:47:09,770 --> 00:47:11,610
I can't believe
we're doing this.
764
00:47:11,690 --> 00:47:16,190
Don't worry.
Hash brownies are totally legal here.
765
00:47:16,250 --> 00:47:20,230
You're gonna enjoy these, man.
These are magical.
766
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:23,750
" I like to smoke marijuana "
767
00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:26,570
- You wanna do this?
- Yeah.
768
00:47:28,240 --> 00:47:30,120
769
00:47:31,790 --> 00:47:33,340
- Hi.
- Hi.
770
00:47:33,410 --> 00:47:35,550
I need a new battery for my camera,
771
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:37,970
and while you're at it,
it could use a cleaning.
772
00:47:38,050 --> 00:47:39,550
Wow.
773
00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:42,690
Is that a Leica M6?
774
00:47:42,750 --> 00:47:44,190
Actually, it's an M7.
775
00:47:44,260 --> 00:47:46,440
It's got the built-in light meter.
776
00:47:47,140 --> 00:47:48,690
It's so beautiful.
777
00:47:49,530 --> 00:47:52,110
So sleek, so powerful.
778
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:54,280
How's the new lens system?
779
00:47:54,370 --> 00:47:58,320
Makes the Nikon
look like a disposable.
780
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:00,870
You really know your cameras.
781
00:48:02,370 --> 00:48:03,820
And you're very cute.
782
00:48:03,910 --> 00:48:06,290
Me? Really?
783
00:48:06,380 --> 00:48:08,580
I'm going on break.
784
00:48:08,630 --> 00:48:11,500
I was going to step out back
and have a cigarette.
785
00:48:11,580 --> 00:48:13,250
Would you like to join me?
786
00:48:13,300 --> 00:48:16,050
I don't smoke.
787
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:18,340
Neither do I.
788
00:48:25,510 --> 00:48:27,100
Hold on, hold on.
789
00:48:27,150 --> 00:48:28,820
What is it?
790
00:48:28,900 --> 00:48:30,400
This is great!
791
00:48:30,470 --> 00:48:32,600
You're so innocent.
792
00:48:34,140 --> 00:48:36,570
Let's change that... shall we?
793
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:40,830
What would you like me to do?
794
00:48:40,910 --> 00:48:43,410
Well... I don't really know...
795
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:45,480
I guess I really
haven't done that much.
796
00:48:45,530 --> 00:48:49,320
I haven't really found the time,
with all my extracurriculars,
797
00:48:49,370 --> 00:48:53,340
and model U.N., advanced placement
classes, after-school tutor...
798
00:48:53,430 --> 00:48:56,040
...ing! Ah!
799
00:48:56,130 --> 00:48:59,710
Gosh, you really like cameras!
800
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:03,680
Sometimes, we find our clients are
so overwhelmed with the pleasure,
801
00:49:03,770 --> 00:49:06,500
that they sometimes scream out,"no,"
802
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:09,390
when really they mean,"yes."
803
00:49:09,470 --> 00:49:12,810
And this is why we have the safe word.
804
00:49:12,860 --> 00:49:15,610
The "safe word"?
805
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,870
If at any time the ecstasy
gets too great,
806
00:49:18,950 --> 00:49:21,200
you just use the safe word.
807
00:49:22,450 --> 00:49:25,710
Until we hear the safe word,
we will not stop.
808
00:49:25,790 --> 00:49:28,410
Yeah, right. Stop.
All right.
809
00:49:28,490 --> 00:49:31,550
We're going to start slowly,
810
00:49:31,630 --> 00:49:36,170
teasing you with a little
light erotic foreplay.
811
00:49:36,220 --> 00:49:38,870
Whee!
812
00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:41,310
Oh, yes, ladies!
813
00:49:41,370 --> 00:49:44,090
On, on, vandersexxx!
814
00:49:45,140 --> 00:49:48,010
815
00:49:51,150 --> 00:49:53,320
Hans! Gruber!
816
00:49:53,390 --> 00:49:56,550
817
00:49:57,190 --> 00:49:58,410
Hi.
818
00:50:09,230 --> 00:50:12,590
So, are the girls coming back?
819
00:50:12,670 --> 00:50:15,290
Administer the testicle clamps!
820
00:50:15,370 --> 00:50:17,290
- Huh? What? Hey!
821
00:50:17,380 --> 00:50:20,040
822
00:50:23,630 --> 00:50:25,600
Safe word!
823
00:50:32,970 --> 00:50:35,810
What is that?!
That's not a word, it's a...
824
00:50:35,860 --> 00:50:38,650
"Fluggen-kliggin-kien?"
825
00:50:38,700 --> 00:50:41,280
826
00:50:41,330 --> 00:50:43,170
Fluggen!!!
827
00:50:43,250 --> 00:50:48,860
828
00:50:48,940 --> 00:50:50,860
OK, mister, don't move.
- Excuse me?
829
00:50:50,940 --> 00:50:52,660
Shut the hell up!
830
00:50:52,740 --> 00:50:54,700
Oh, brother! Please don't hurt me.
831
00:50:54,780 --> 00:50:57,820
Oh, no... you're fine.
That's good. You're fine.
832
00:50:57,870 --> 00:50:59,950
Give me cash? You got cash?
833
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,250
Take it all, you dirty girl.
834
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:03,650
What?
835
00:51:03,710 --> 00:51:06,120
Your wallet! Focus!
836
00:51:07,210 --> 00:51:09,490
- Give it to me.
- Oh!
837
00:51:09,540 --> 00:51:11,380
Oh, I love you!
838
00:51:11,460 --> 00:51:14,000
I love you!
839
00:51:14,050 --> 00:51:18,770
I love you! I looove you!
840
00:51:20,170 --> 00:51:23,360
841
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:27,140
842
00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:29,850
843
00:51:30,650 --> 00:51:32,650
What's so funny?
844
00:51:32,700 --> 00:51:35,790
845
00:51:40,990 --> 00:51:44,210
I'm really hungry.
I think I've got the munchies.
846
00:51:44,300 --> 00:51:46,960
- Excuse me.
- Huh?
847
00:51:47,030 --> 00:51:50,670
It's hot in here. You hot?
'Cause I'm really hot.
848
00:51:50,720 --> 00:51:53,140
- So good.
- OK, I can't breathe! God!
849
00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:54,710
Tao điên lên đây!
850
00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:56,920
I think we got
a bad batch 'cause I'm freaking out.
851
00:51:57,010 --> 00:51:59,090
I can't... I can't do this.
852
00:51:59,180 --> 00:52:02,730
I saw a gay porno once.
I didn't know until halfway in.
853
00:52:02,810 --> 00:52:06,900
The girls never came.
The girls never came!
854
00:52:06,990 --> 00:52:09,900
I am freaking out!!
855
00:52:09,990 --> 00:52:13,720
- Everything all right with you?
- No, nothing's all right.
856
00:52:13,780 --> 00:52:15,830
You sold us a bad batch
of ash brownies.
857
00:52:15,890 --> 00:52:17,900
You're a bad Rastafarian.
858
00:52:17,950 --> 00:52:20,560
These are not ash brownies.
859
00:52:20,620 --> 00:52:22,000
Hmm?
860
00:52:23,620 --> 00:52:26,920
- What was that?
- We do not sell hash brownies.
861
00:52:27,010 --> 00:52:29,210
We're a simple Dutch bakery!
862
00:52:33,180 --> 00:52:35,850
Now put your clothes back on, white boy!
863
00:52:37,020 --> 00:52:39,800
Ow! Ow! Ow!
864
00:52:39,890 --> 00:52:41,640
"Fluggengegeholen!"
865
00:52:41,720 --> 00:52:43,140
866
00:52:43,220 --> 00:52:45,810
Did you say fluggegecheimen?
867
00:52:45,890 --> 00:52:46,940
Yes! Yes!
868
00:52:47,030 --> 00:52:49,640
For the love of god,
fluggengecheimen!
869
00:52:49,730 --> 00:52:51,400
Are you sure?
870
00:52:51,450 --> 00:52:52,700
Yes, please.
871
00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:54,900
As you wish.
872
00:52:56,270 --> 00:52:58,490
Bring on
the fluggegecheimen!
873
00:53:01,540 --> 00:53:03,820
Wait... what?
874
00:53:03,910 --> 00:53:05,880
Uh-oh.
875
00:53:05,940 --> 00:53:09,160
No, no, no!
I didn't say fluggegecheimen,
876
00:53:09,250 --> 00:53:10,330
I said, uh...
877
00:53:10,420 --> 00:53:14,390
878
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000
879
00:53:17,790 --> 00:53:19,140
880
00:53:30,350 --> 00:53:32,100
What'd you do last night?
881
00:53:34,310 --> 00:53:36,360
I don't want to talk about it.
882
00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:37,740
What did you guys do?
883
00:53:37,810 --> 00:53:39,990
Don't want to talk about it.
884
00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:46,120
- What is that?
- Free T-shirt.
885
00:53:50,590 --> 00:53:52,260
Hey, guys.
886
00:53:53,210 --> 00:53:55,210
What happened to you?
887
00:53:55,290 --> 00:53:56,930
I got robbed.
888
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,180
It was awesome!
889
00:54:00,770 --> 00:54:03,100
Our money, passports, tickets...
890
00:54:03,470 --> 00:54:05,270
Everything, gone!
891
00:54:06,610 --> 00:54:08,440
How the hell could this happen?
892
00:54:08,510 --> 00:54:11,610
We all go to Amsterdam, and
Jamie's the one who hooks up!
893
00:54:12,860 --> 00:54:14,810
For shame!
894
00:54:16,900 --> 00:54:19,120
895
00:54:23,410 --> 00:54:25,910
Oh, that's me.
896
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:30,690
Coop here. Sorry.
897
00:54:30,750 --> 00:54:33,630
Hello, Mr. Walters..
898
00:54:35,300 --> 00:54:37,220
You never got the Gutterman file?
899
00:54:37,300 --> 00:54:39,220
I told Humphrey to give it to you.
900
00:54:39,300 --> 00:54:43,540
That's hogwash. I handed it
to him myself yesterday.
901
00:54:43,590 --> 00:54:46,710
I'll tell Humphrey to report
to your office immediately.
902
00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:48,810
Bye.
903
00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:53,270
This job's killing me.
904
00:55:00,940 --> 00:55:03,890
905
00:55:03,950 --> 00:55:06,400
- Uh...
- Let me handle this.
906
00:55:06,450 --> 00:55:08,780
I speak bad German.
907
00:55:32,090 --> 00:55:34,810
- What did he say?
- He said he's driving.
908
00:55:34,890 --> 00:55:36,190
- Oh.
- Something.
909
00:55:36,260 --> 00:55:38,030
Jah.
910
00:55:41,650 --> 00:55:42,900
Berlin?
911
00:55:52,380 --> 00:55:54,550
Berlin?
Berlin!
912
00:55:59,830 --> 00:56:02,090
- He's going to Berlin!
- Awesome!
913
00:56:04,390 --> 00:56:15,800
- All right! Berlin!
- Come on, let's go!
914
00:56:15,850 --> 00:56:18,150
Next stop, Berlin!
915
00:56:18,240 --> 00:56:20,240
916
00:56:21,610 --> 00:56:24,140
917
00:56:28,310 --> 00:56:30,860
918
00:56:40,260 --> 00:56:43,540
Beautiful!
We made it to Berlin.
919
00:56:43,630 --> 00:56:45,680
Jah. Berlin!
920
00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:52,350
- Bratislava?
- Yeah.
921
00:56:52,440 --> 00:56:54,440
Bratislava!
922
00:56:54,510 --> 00:56:56,440
923
00:57:00,150 --> 00:57:03,200
Dear sweet mother of God.
924
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:05,350
We're in Eastern Europe.
925
00:57:05,400 --> 00:57:07,850
926
00:57:07,900 --> 00:57:09,120
Eww!
927
00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:19,000
928
00:57:24,800 --> 00:57:26,720
Excuse me.
929
00:57:27,670 --> 00:57:29,470
Do you speak any English?
930
00:57:29,540 --> 00:57:32,540
You are Americans?
931
00:57:32,590 --> 00:57:33,930
Yeah.
932
00:57:34,010 --> 00:57:35,930
I love America.
933
00:57:37,020 --> 00:57:40,270
We just get "Miami Vice" on television.
934
00:57:40,350 --> 00:57:43,650
Amen!
"Miami Vice" is number one new show.
935
00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:45,060
Yeah.
936
00:57:45,110 --> 00:57:48,740
Listen, we're trying
to get to Berlin, Germany.
937
00:57:48,830 --> 00:57:51,080
Do you know if there's
a train coming anytime soon?
938
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:54,700
Oh, yes, very soon.
They are building it now.
939
00:57:58,450 --> 00:58:01,070
Stop! Hammer time!
940
00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:03,340
Enjoy Bratislava!
941
00:58:03,410 --> 00:58:05,790
It's good you came in summer.
942
00:58:05,880 --> 00:58:10,300
In winter, it can get very depressing.
943
00:58:10,380 --> 00:58:13,520
We gotta figure something out.
How much money do we have?
944
00:58:13,580 --> 00:58:15,350
945
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:20,560
Frommer's travel tip.
946
00:58:22,090 --> 00:58:23,640
I don't have anything.
947
00:58:23,730 --> 00:58:26,060
What? I got noth... fine.
948
00:58:32,740 --> 00:58:35,370
$1.83 American.
949
00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:37,240
What are we gonna get with that?
950
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:46,580
Gotta love that exchange rate!
951
00:58:47,640 --> 00:58:49,220
Ta.
952
00:58:52,060 --> 00:58:53,890
Dinner is served
953
00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:56,460
Would the masters care
for anything else?
954
00:58:56,510 --> 00:58:58,310
Think we're good. Thanks.
955
00:58:59,810 --> 00:59:02,430
Ah! A nickel!
956
00:59:04,570 --> 00:59:05,770
You see this?
957
00:59:06,770 --> 00:59:10,190
- I quit!
958
00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:12,990
I open my own hotel!
959
00:59:20,650 --> 00:59:23,150
So, we got 27 cents left.
960
00:59:23,200 --> 00:59:25,370
What is there to do in this town?
961
00:59:27,590 --> 00:59:30,590
962
00:59:32,330 --> 00:59:35,220
♪ - " My Scotty "
- " Scotty, Scotty " ♪
963
00:59:35,300 --> 00:59:38,940
♪ " Scotty doesn't know " ♪
964
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:40,940
♪ " Don't tell Scotty " ♪
965
00:59:42,610 --> 00:59:44,940
♪ - " Scotty doesn't know " ♪
966
00:59:45,010 --> 00:59:47,060
This song sounds familiar.
967
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:53,280
Jenny, lemme check your coat.
968
00:59:57,660 --> 00:59:59,690
- Hey!
- Jenny!
969
00:59:59,740 --> 01:00:03,040
That outfit is horrible!
Just take it off... now!
970
01:00:04,730 --> 01:00:07,910
No, but I will let you
buy me a drink.
971
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:09,250
Excuse me!
972
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:13,870
You are the woman from the Paris
train station, aren't you?
973
01:00:13,920 --> 01:00:15,710
- My name is...
- Christoph.
974
01:00:15,760 --> 01:00:17,390
Yes.
975
01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:19,090
What are you doing here?
976
01:00:19,180 --> 01:00:23,260
This is my place. My family owns
many nightclubs in Europe.
977
01:00:23,350 --> 01:00:25,680
I'd be honored if you'd join me
in my V.I.P.Room for a drink.
978
01:00:25,730 --> 01:00:27,650
Mmm-kay.
979
01:00:30,100 --> 01:00:31,360
Bye, Cooper.
980
01:00:38,530 --> 01:00:40,910
- What's that?
- It's absinthe.
981
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:42,920
Frommer's says it's
illegal in the States
982
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:45,590
because it makes you
hallucinate and go crazy.
983
01:00:45,670 --> 01:00:47,870
They call it "the green fairy."
984
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:57,550
My family has a yacht in the Aegean.
985
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:00,930
Come with me, Jennifer.
We will sail away together.
986
01:01:01,020 --> 01:01:02,970
Oh, my God!
987
01:01:03,050 --> 01:01:06,270
We will swim with dolphins,
and sip champagne by moonlight.
988
01:01:06,360 --> 01:01:08,940
Oh, my God!
989
01:01:09,030 --> 01:01:12,030
We will spend the day
sunbathing, drinking wine.
990
01:01:12,100 --> 01:01:14,400
My wife makes the best sangria.
991
01:01:14,450 --> 01:01:16,400
Wait... what?
992
01:01:16,450 --> 01:01:18,040
Sangria.
993
01:01:18,100 --> 01:01:19,820
You take a good Spanish Rioja,
994
01:01:19,900 --> 01:01:22,110
and you put in slices of orange, and...
995
01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:24,830
No, wait.
You said you were married?
996
01:01:26,710 --> 01:01:29,780
You go around Europe
sleeping with every woman you meet?
997
01:01:29,830 --> 01:01:32,220
No, please, Jennifer.
It is not like that.
998
01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:34,170
I also sleep with men.
999
01:01:38,340 --> 01:01:40,960
I gotta say, I'm not feeling anything.
1000
01:01:41,010 --> 01:01:42,430
Me neither.
1001
01:01:42,480 --> 01:01:44,260
Sober as a judge.
1002
01:01:45,980 --> 01:01:47,060
How 'bout you?
1003
01:01:47,130 --> 01:01:49,070
Tôi chẳng cảm thấy chó gì.
1004
01:01:49,130 --> 01:01:51,800
This absinthe is bullshit!
1005
01:01:51,850 --> 01:01:53,470
I hear you, my brother.
1006
01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:55,410
I'm outta here.
1007
01:01:55,470 --> 01:01:56,940
Excuse me.
1008
01:01:56,990 --> 01:02:00,280
- Hey, so where's Christoph?
- Shut up.
1009
01:02:02,410 --> 01:02:04,280
1010
01:02:21,850 --> 01:02:23,880
- Europe!
- Europe!
1011
01:02:23,970 --> 01:02:27,600
- Whoo!
- Europe!
1012
01:02:27,670 --> 01:02:29,170
So, tomorrow, Berlin.
1013
01:02:29,220 --> 01:02:31,110
Tomorrow, Mieke!
1014
01:02:38,120 --> 01:02:39,070
Check it out.
1015
01:02:39,150 --> 01:02:41,450
No way!
1016
01:02:41,520 --> 01:02:44,790
Jamie's hooking up with another girl?
Goddamn it!
1017
01:02:44,860 --> 01:02:48,240
It's just so unfair.
I've been all over,
1018
01:02:48,260 --> 01:02:51,460
looking for crazy European sex,
and he's the one who ends up getting...
1019
01:02:51,530 --> 01:02:53,630
- Oh, my God!
1020
01:02:56,880 --> 01:03:00,750
That is some pretty fucked-up shit.
1021
01:03:10,230 --> 01:03:12,880
1022
01:03:12,930 --> 01:03:17,020
They really are the worst twins ever.
1023
01:03:17,070 --> 01:03:18,740
(Both screaming)
1024
01:03:43,910 --> 01:03:46,300
That was a pretty wild night, eh?
1025
01:03:47,390 --> 01:03:50,190
Yep. Pretty wild, pretty wild.
1026
01:03:52,760 --> 01:03:54,690
I know I was out of control.
1027
01:03:54,760 --> 01:03:56,280
How about you guys?
Did you...?
1028
01:03:56,360 --> 01:03:59,200
All right, look.
We were really drunk,
1029
01:03:59,260 --> 01:04:01,700
và làm vài việc điên rồ,
và Jamie...
1030
01:04:01,770 --> 01:04:04,650
kissed me.
1031
01:04:04,740 --> 01:04:06,570
Let's just forget about it, 'kay?
1032
01:04:06,620 --> 01:04:09,040
OK, fine. I'll give it a rest.
1033
01:04:11,410 --> 01:04:14,790
Jamie, could I borrow your Frommer's?
1034
01:04:18,880 --> 01:04:20,630
Oh, here it is. Bratislava.
1035
01:04:20,720 --> 01:04:23,000
Hmm. Capital of Slovakia.
1036
01:04:23,090 --> 01:04:25,260
Oh, here's a fun fact.
1037
01:04:26,590 --> 01:04:28,560
You made out with your sister, man!
1038
01:04:28,630 --> 01:04:31,760
- Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
- Like two dogs in heat.
1039
01:04:31,810 --> 01:04:35,020
1040
01:04:35,100 --> 01:04:37,900
My friends, where is the beef?
1041
01:04:37,970 --> 01:04:39,990
1042
01:04:40,070 --> 01:04:42,860
You go to Berlin?
I'm your ride.
1043
01:04:42,940 --> 01:04:44,410
Hop in.
1044
01:04:47,250 --> 01:04:51,650
" "99 Red Balloons"
1045
01:05:11,140 --> 01:05:13,940
Okay. This is Mieke's
apartment building.
1046
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:16,240
Wish me all sorts of luck, guys.
1047
01:05:17,960 --> 01:05:19,390
You'll do great, Scotty.
1048
01:05:21,480 --> 01:05:23,080
Thanks.
1049
01:05:43,050 --> 01:05:46,690
I came all this way.
I'm not gonna miss this.
1050
01:05:48,890 --> 01:05:51,020
1051
01:05:52,680 --> 01:05:55,480
- Dude, Mieke's hideous! Run!
- Stop.
1052
01:05:56,900 --> 01:06:01,320
1053
01:06:07,580 --> 01:06:09,360
Hi, my name is Scott Thomas.
1054
01:06:09,410 --> 01:06:11,630
I'm from America,
and I'm here to see Mieke.
1055
01:06:11,700 --> 01:06:14,130
I'm sorry, but Mieke's not here.
1056
01:06:14,200 --> 01:06:15,630
Do you know where she is?
1057
01:06:15,700 --> 01:06:17,750
She's gone for the summer.
1058
01:06:21,590 --> 01:06:23,920
1059
01:06:31,380 --> 01:06:35,900
My daughter had intended
to spend the summer in America,
1060
01:06:35,940 --> 01:06:37,890
looking at colleges
visiting some friends.
1061
01:06:37,940 --> 01:06:40,690
But several days ago,
she suddenly changed her mind.
1062
01:06:40,740 --> 01:06:42,660
She would not tell me why.
1063
01:06:42,730 --> 01:06:45,830
I think I know why.
1064
01:06:47,230 --> 01:06:49,570
1065
01:06:49,620 --> 01:06:50,920
1066
01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:54,500
This is Heinrich.
He's Mieke's stepbrother.
1067
01:06:54,570 --> 01:06:57,620
As I was saying,
she packed up her bag and left.
1068
01:06:57,710 --> 01:07:00,990
- It was all very sudden.
- Do you know where she is now?
1069
01:07:01,080 --> 01:07:03,800
As you know she's always been
very interested in the classics,
1070
01:07:03,880 --> 01:07:06,280
Greek and Roman literature, history,
1071
01:07:06,530 --> 01:07:08,060
and she's always enjoyed the ocean,
1072
01:07:08,080 --> 01:07:11,190
so she found a program that
combines all her interests.
1073
01:07:11,260 --> 01:07:12,920
Do you know where she is?
1074
01:07:13,930 --> 01:07:17,440
She enrolled in a summer at sea
program, based in Rome.
1075
01:07:18,730 --> 01:07:20,200
Rome.
1076
01:07:20,660 --> 01:07:22,950
OK, then I guess we'll go to Rome, then.
1077
01:07:23,030 --> 01:07:25,870
Well hold on. Unfortunately, Mieke's only
in Rome for orientation.
1078
01:07:25,940 --> 01:07:29,210
Tomorrow her group boards a boat
and she'll be gone for the summer.
1079
01:07:29,270 --> 01:07:32,410
And she'll be quite unreachable.
1080
01:07:33,280 --> 01:07:34,790
Unreachable.
1081
01:07:41,670 --> 01:07:44,750
Mieke's tour group goes
to the Vatican tomorrow,
1082
01:07:44,770 --> 01:07:46,670
then she gets on that boat
and she's gone.
1083
01:07:47,260 --> 01:07:48,260
So, it's over?
1084
01:07:50,630 --> 01:07:54,480
Hey! Thanks for sticking with me
through this, guys, but...
1085
01:07:54,870 --> 01:07:56,950
you should probably call your parents,
1086
01:07:57,130 --> 01:08:00,020
have them wire you
some money and go home.
1087
01:08:00,100 --> 01:08:01,800
What are you gonna do?
1088
01:08:01,860 --> 01:08:07,810
I'm going to Rome.
I'll walk, I'll hitchhike,
1089
01:08:07,860 --> 01:08:10,830
I'll swim if I have to,
but I'll get to Mieke somehow.
1090
01:08:15,540 --> 01:08:17,150
Maybe that'll help.
1091
01:08:17,200 --> 01:08:18,620
Where'd you get all that?
1092
01:08:18,670 --> 01:08:21,590
Wait. Where's your Leica?
1093
01:08:21,660 --> 01:08:23,430
Sold it.
1094
01:08:23,490 --> 01:08:25,160
What?
1095
01:08:26,710 --> 01:08:29,520
You sold your Leica?
But you loved that thing.
1096
01:08:29,600 --> 01:08:32,190
What about your photo tour of Europe?
What about the chateaus?
1097
01:08:32,270 --> 01:08:34,850
Chateaus have been there
for 300 years.
1098
01:08:34,940 --> 01:08:36,770
Mieke's gone in 12 hours.
1099
01:08:40,010 --> 01:08:42,150
Come on let's go! Frommer's says you're supposed to
1100
01:08:42,180 --> 01:08:44,350
check in three
hours before international flights.
1101
01:08:44,580 --> 01:08:46,320
Come here, guidebook!
1102
01:08:46,370 --> 01:08:49,320
Whoo! We're going to Rome.
We're going to Rome!
1103
01:08:59,880 --> 01:09:01,500
♪ " Be my girl " ♪
1104
01:09:01,550 --> 01:09:04,720
♪ " Be my girl " ♪
1105
01:09:04,800 --> 01:09:06,690
♪ " Are you gonna be my " ♪
1106
01:09:06,770 --> 01:09:09,220
♪ " Girl, yeah " ♪
1107
01:09:09,310 --> 01:09:11,170
♪ " Be my girl " ♪
1108
01:09:11,230 --> 01:09:13,760
♪ " Be my girl " ♪
1109
01:09:13,840 --> 01:09:16,900
♪ " Are you gonna be my girl " ♪
1110
01:09:21,650 --> 01:09:23,550
All right, summer at sea group.
1111
01:09:23,600 --> 01:09:25,720
Our tour begins in the Vatican museum.
1112
01:09:25,770 --> 01:09:27,770
This way, please.
1113
01:09:35,200 --> 01:09:37,700
There it is.
1114
01:09:39,570 --> 01:09:43,070
1115
01:09:43,120 --> 01:09:46,630
This entrance is
for private tour groups only.
1116
01:09:48,460 --> 01:09:51,200
Oh... but we are
a private tour group.
1117
01:09:51,380 --> 01:09:53,300
We've come all the way from America.
1118
01:09:55,970 --> 01:09:59,020
That guy in the orange jacket
is mentally retarded.
1119
01:10:03,440 --> 01:10:08,530
Si, I can tell.
How very, very sad.
1120
01:10:08,600 --> 01:10:10,600
Yes, it is.
1121
01:10:10,650 --> 01:10:12,970
But if you are a tour,
where is your guide?
1122
01:10:13,140 --> 01:10:15,320
We've got a fantastic tour guide.
1123
01:10:15,410 --> 01:10:17,990
- Right here.
- What? No...
1124
01:10:20,580 --> 01:10:24,500
The Vatican has been used
as a papal residence
1125
01:10:24,580 --> 01:10:26,420
ever since the time
of Constantine the Great
1126
01:10:26,430 --> 01:10:28,130
the Great in the 5th century A.D.!
1127
01:10:30,000 --> 01:10:32,010
Let them in
1128
01:10:32,090 --> 01:10:35,930
OK... um... if you'll
all follow me, please.
1129
01:10:39,650 --> 01:10:42,600
Have a very special day
1130
01:10:42,650 --> 01:10:46,770
for a very special little man.
1131
01:10:46,820 --> 01:10:48,470
OK.
1132
01:10:50,240 --> 01:10:52,990
I can't believe that guy let us in.
1133
01:10:53,080 --> 01:10:54,810
What a retard!
1134
01:10:54,860 --> 01:10:56,500
- Okay. Let's find Mieke.
- Scusate.
1135
01:10:58,150 --> 01:11:01,180
One of our English-speaking
tour guides has called in sick.
1136
01:11:01,350 --> 01:11:04,340
Could you please take
these peoples also?
1137
01:11:06,160 --> 01:11:10,160
- How big is Vatican City?
- 0.5 square kilometers.
1138
01:11:10,210 --> 01:11:14,660
- Who built the colonnades?
- Gianlorenzo Bernini, 1656.
1139
01:11:14,710 --> 01:11:17,330
- Where are the bathrooms?
- Floors 2,6 and 7.
1140
01:11:17,580 --> 01:11:20,820
Next I'll take you to where the
College of Cardinals elects a new pope.
1141
01:11:20,980 --> 01:11:23,860
When this happens, white smoke
is sent up from the Vatican.
1142
01:11:23,870 --> 01:11:26,680
- Here's a fun fact...
- Mieke must be around here somewhere.
1143
01:11:27,530 --> 01:11:28,230
Đi nào.
1144
01:11:37,190 --> 01:11:40,280
Behind me is the appartamento papale,
1145
01:11:40,290 --> 01:11:43,460
or "papal apartment."
We're obviously not permitted.
1146
01:11:44,500 --> 01:11:47,380
Excuse me, miss. What is this?
1147
01:11:47,460 --> 01:11:49,080
That is the bell of San Marco.
1148
01:11:49,170 --> 01:11:51,930
When the pope dies,
the Cardinal Vicar of Rome
1149
01:11:51,950 --> 01:11:54,140
rings this bell to notify
the people of Rome.
1150
01:11:54,200 --> 01:11:57,920
Next we will view the Sistine Chapel.
Follow me, please.
1151
01:12:01,240 --> 01:12:03,680
Come on. I think I hear them.
1152
01:12:03,830 --> 01:12:04,730
Which way did they go?
1153
01:12:04,820 --> 01:12:07,350
That way. I'd stake
my reputation on it.
1154
01:12:07,400 --> 01:12:08,940
Good enough for me.
1155
01:12:09,020 --> 01:12:12,790
Hey, check it out!
I wonder what this does.
1156
01:12:12,960 --> 01:12:16,560
It doesn't do anything,
it's a rope. Come on, let's go.
1157
01:12:16,610 --> 01:12:18,700
They got a lot
of old stuff here.
1158
01:12:18,750 --> 01:12:24,030
1159
01:12:26,240 --> 01:12:27,570
Dio mio!
1160
01:12:28,260 --> 01:12:30,570
The bell of San Marco!
1161
01:12:32,290 --> 01:12:34,210
The pope is dead!
1162
01:12:34,260 --> 01:12:35,930
1163
01:12:38,250 --> 01:12:39,380
Whoa.
1164
01:12:41,920 --> 01:12:44,100
She's not in here.
1165
01:12:44,190 --> 01:12:46,640
Đi thôi. Chúng ta không thể ở đây lâu.
1166
01:12:46,720 --> 01:12:48,940
Hey, check this out!
1167
01:12:49,030 --> 01:12:51,440
- I'm the pope!
- Cooper...
1168
01:12:51,530 --> 01:12:54,100
take off the pope hat.
1169
01:12:54,150 --> 01:12:58,400
- Oh, no. It's OK.I'm catholic.
- Take it off, goddamnit!
1170
01:12:58,450 --> 01:13:01,480
Oh, you took
the Lord's name in vain!
1171
01:13:01,610 --> 01:13:03,890
Only I can forgive
you now, my son.
1172
01:13:04,170 --> 01:13:05,410
Take that fudging thing off!
1173
01:13:05,760 --> 01:13:07,710
The pope breaks an open-field tackle.
1174
01:13:07,780 --> 01:13:10,330
It's a Hail Mary,
he catches at the 40...
1175
01:13:10,410 --> 01:13:13,000
thứ 30, thứ 20, thứ 10...
1176
01:13:13,050 --> 01:13:15,050
Sờ thử đi!
1177
01:13:16,170 --> 01:13:19,010
The pope makes a two-point conversion.
1178
01:13:19,090 --> 01:13:21,860
oh, my Lord!
It's the Pope, eight,
1179
01:13:21,930 --> 01:13:23,310
and the heathens, nothing!
1180
01:13:23,360 --> 01:13:25,600
nothing!
1181
01:13:25,650 --> 01:13:28,300
How's you, sucka?
1182
01:13:28,350 --> 01:13:30,570
1183
01:13:30,930 --> 01:13:32,570
Cooper, the hat! The hat!
1184
01:13:32,940 --> 01:13:34,020
The hat is on fire!
1185
01:13:34,400 --> 01:13:36,160
" We don't need no water
let the m... "
1186
01:13:36,540 --> 01:13:38,120
I'm not kidding! Look!
1187
01:13:38,660 --> 01:13:40,110
Oh, holy shit!
1188
01:13:41,280 --> 01:13:42,410
I don't want this!
1189
01:13:42,480 --> 01:13:44,780
Fireplace! Fireplace!
Go, go!
1190
01:13:46,370 --> 01:13:48,330
Whoa!
1191
01:13:55,330 --> 01:13:57,660
White smoke!
1192
01:13:57,710 --> 01:14:01,000
They've elected the new pope!
1193
01:14:03,520 --> 01:14:05,990
I'm coming to you live
from Vatican Square
1194
01:14:06,030 --> 01:14:08,590
where the College of Cardinals,
in a surprise move,
1195
01:14:08,670 --> 01:14:13,480
has just elected a new pope.
The crowd is very excited.
1196
01:14:13,530 --> 01:14:15,020
This is so strange.
1197
01:14:15,210 --> 01:14:18,680
Usually they wait 15 days
to elect a new pope.
1198
01:14:18,730 --> 01:14:21,030
We could be seeing
history in the making!
1199
01:14:21,320 --> 01:14:23,520
We could be seeing an arrest
in the making.
1200
01:14:23,570 --> 01:14:25,660
1201
01:14:31,530 --> 01:14:33,880
There she is. Mieke!
1202
01:14:36,470 --> 01:14:38,250
Hey! Stupid curtain!
1203
01:14:39,420 --> 01:14:41,300
Let me out!
1204
01:14:44,370 --> 01:14:46,390
Mieke!
1205
01:14:46,480 --> 01:14:48,540
It's the new pope!
1206
01:14:48,600 --> 01:14:50,900
1207
01:15:14,790 --> 01:15:17,710
What the hell...?
1208
01:15:22,380 --> 01:15:23,960
Mieke!
1209
01:15:24,050 --> 01:15:26,750
1210
01:15:26,800 --> 01:15:28,270
Hold on!
1211
01:15:34,090 --> 01:15:36,480
This is one crazy pope.
1212
01:15:37,310 --> 01:15:40,530
1213
01:15:42,900 --> 01:15:44,400
1214
01:15:45,120 --> 01:15:46,940
You!
1215
01:15:46,990 --> 01:15:50,120
Ferma! Stop! You!
1216
01:15:51,490 --> 01:15:55,600
You... and your retarded friend,
1217
01:15:55,680 --> 01:15:57,750
you're in big, big trouble.
1218
01:15:57,800 --> 01:15:59,000
Oy!
1219
01:15:59,080 --> 01:16:01,920
1220
01:16:01,970 --> 01:16:04,450
Take your mitts off them boys!
1221
01:16:04,500 --> 01:16:06,670
They're with me!
1222
01:16:08,390 --> 01:16:11,730
I've just about had enough
of you fuckin' ities!
1223
01:16:12,700 --> 01:16:14,180
But I am Swiss!
1224
01:16:15,430 --> 01:16:17,020
Them, too!
1225
01:16:22,910 --> 01:16:24,070
Now, bud...
1226
01:16:24,140 --> 01:16:27,080
you get in there, and you
say what you got to say.
1227
01:16:28,830 --> 01:16:30,750
Mieke. I'm here.
1228
01:16:30,990 --> 01:16:32,250
I made it.
1229
01:16:35,420 --> 01:16:37,320
Who are you?
1230
01:16:37,370 --> 01:16:38,920
1231
01:16:38,990 --> 01:16:41,170
1232
01:16:41,260 --> 01:16:44,840
What a fucking loser!
I'm gonna videotape this.
1233
01:16:46,160 --> 01:16:48,430
I'm Scott.
1234
01:16:48,500 --> 01:16:49,880
From Ohio?
1235
01:16:49,970 --> 01:16:53,670
Scott? Scott Thomas?
1236
01:16:53,720 --> 01:16:57,390
- Yes.
- From Ohio?
1237
01:16:57,470 --> 01:17:00,530
- What are you doing in Rome?
- I came here to be with you.
1238
01:17:00,610 --> 01:17:03,310
Listen, I just traveled
all the way across Europe.
1239
01:17:03,360 --> 01:17:05,780
I got chased by naked men.
1240
01:17:05,850 --> 01:17:09,350
I ate brownies with absolutely
no drugs in them.
1241
01:17:09,400 --> 01:17:13,520
I watched a brother
and sister make out.
1242
01:17:13,570 --> 01:17:17,660
I kicked a robot in the balls,
but I did it all so that...
1243
01:17:17,710 --> 01:17:19,880
so I could tell you one thing.
1244
01:17:22,580 --> 01:17:24,580
I love you, Mieke.
1245
01:17:24,670 --> 01:17:27,140
Aww...
1246
01:17:27,200 --> 01:17:29,870
We're perfect for each other.
What do you think?
1247
01:17:29,920 --> 01:17:32,930
I think...
1248
01:17:48,610 --> 01:17:51,490
Oh, Mike... Mieke!
1249
01:17:54,580 --> 01:17:57,670
1250
01:18:04,340 --> 01:18:06,840
Forgive me, Father,
for I have sinned.
1251
01:18:06,910 --> 01:18:08,510
I have cheated on my husband.
1252
01:18:08,580 --> 01:18:11,350
Do you think God will ever forgive me?
1253
01:18:11,410 --> 01:18:13,180
Oh, yes!
1254
01:18:14,850 --> 01:18:15,920
- Father?
1255
01:18:17,770 --> 01:18:20,560
- Father?
1256
01:18:26,030 --> 01:18:27,810
This sucks.
1257
01:18:27,900 --> 01:18:31,600
I can't believe I'm the only one
who didn't hook up while we were here.
1258
01:18:31,650 --> 01:18:34,540
Europe is officially
the worst country on Earth.
1259
01:18:34,600 --> 01:18:36,070
I know.
1260
01:18:36,120 --> 01:18:39,740
I thought I'd at least get to
have some crazy European sex.
1261
01:18:43,460 --> 01:18:44,660
What?
1262
01:18:50,950 --> 01:18:53,510
1263
01:18:53,590 --> 01:18:55,760
- Scott, I have to go.
- OK.
1264
01:18:56,560 --> 01:18:59,230
My boat is leaving.
1265
01:18:59,300 --> 01:19:01,730
I still can't believe
you came all the way here,
1266
01:19:01,800 --> 01:19:03,320
just for me.
1267
01:19:03,400 --> 01:19:06,740
What can I say?
I'm very unpredictable.
1268
01:19:06,800 --> 01:19:09,490
Keep writing to me, Scott, OK?
1269
01:19:09,570 --> 01:19:11,110
Yeah, I will.
1270
01:19:29,790 --> 01:19:32,430
Yes! Yes! Yes!
1271
01:19:32,480 --> 01:19:35,130
Whoo-hoo!
1272
01:19:35,180 --> 01:19:38,770
Hey, guys, I'm so glad we got
to take this trip together.
1273
01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:41,220
This was the best time of my life.
1274
01:19:44,940 --> 01:19:46,780
Excuse me.
1275
01:19:46,990 --> 01:19:50,310
You're the young man who gave me
that tour of the Vatican, aren't you?
1276
01:19:52,680 --> 01:19:55,730
- Listen, I'm very sorry...
- I just wanted to thank you.
1277
01:19:55,820 --> 01:19:59,540
You were the most knowledgeable,
albeit idiosyncratic,
1278
01:19:59,620 --> 01:20:01,190
tour guide I've ever had.
1279
01:20:01,240 --> 01:20:02,960
Thanks.
1280
01:20:03,230 --> 01:20:05,210
But I'm not actually a tour guide.
1281
01:20:05,300 --> 01:20:08,160
I've just read Frommer's
enough to have it memorized.
1282
01:20:08,520 --> 01:20:11,050
Although I threw in a few things
Frommer's didn't know about.
1283
01:20:11,130 --> 01:20:12,890
How would you like to add them?
1284
01:20:12,970 --> 01:20:14,390
Excuse me?
1285
01:20:14,470 --> 01:20:17,510
That's my guidebook.
1286
01:20:22,730 --> 01:20:24,480
I'm Arthur Frommer.
1287
01:20:26,520 --> 01:20:28,250
Ngạc nhiên chưa!
1288
01:20:28,300 --> 01:20:32,550
Frommer's is going to pay me to see
every museum and cathedral in Europe.
tượng đài ở châu Âu.
1289
01:20:32,810 --> 01:20:35,770
- That sounds so exciting...
1290
01:20:35,860 --> 01:20:38,690
for you.
1291
01:20:38,750 --> 01:20:41,000
I figured, since you're
going to be staying,
1292
01:20:41,060 --> 01:20:43,450
you might need this.
1293
01:20:43,530 --> 01:20:46,340
- A disposable camera.
- That's right.
1294
01:20:46,400 --> 01:20:47,590
Thanks, Scotty.
1295
01:20:47,670 --> 01:20:49,240
That's from both of us.
1296
01:20:49,290 --> 01:20:52,960
Scotty doesn't know
1297
01:20:57,460 --> 01:20:59,080
Hello, Mr. Walters.
1298
01:20:59,130 --> 01:21:00,770
I see.
1299
01:21:00,850 --> 01:21:03,520
Fired? Well, I...
1300
01:21:03,590 --> 01:21:07,520
Well, if that's what you want,
I understand. I just...
1301
01:21:07,590 --> 01:21:10,360
goodbye, sir.
1302
01:21:10,430 --> 01:21:12,380
They had to catch you
eventually, right?
1303
01:21:12,460 --> 01:21:14,280
- No, they fired Humphrey.
- Shut up!
1304
01:21:14,360 --> 01:21:15,730
I got his office and a raise.
1305
01:21:15,780 --> 01:21:17,370
- No!
1306
01:21:17,430 --> 01:21:21,040
Flight 341
from Rome to Cleveland...
1307
01:21:21,100 --> 01:21:22,290
That's you guys.
1308
01:21:22,370 --> 01:21:24,820
- Have a good flight, everybody.
- Come here.
1309
01:21:27,580 --> 01:21:29,110
Be good.
1310
01:21:30,460 --> 01:21:32,610
- Oh! OK...
1311
01:21:32,870 --> 01:21:35,450
- Cooper, have a good flight.
- Be good.
1312
01:21:35,500 --> 01:21:36,590
Thanks.
1313
01:22:10,040 --> 01:22:11,590
I'm on it.
1314
01:22:17,790 --> 01:22:20,510
1315
01:22:20,800 --> 01:22:23,330
This still
counts as Europe, right?
1316
01:22:32,360 --> 01:22:33,940
"Dear Mieke,
1317
01:22:34,010 --> 01:22:36,780
"Greece sounds incredible.
1318
01:22:36,850 --> 01:22:39,050
"I just moved into my dorm room today,
1319
01:22:39,300 --> 01:22:41,670
"but I can't wait to see you
over Christmas break.
1320
01:22:41,950 --> 01:22:44,720
"This time I think
I'll fly to Berlin direct."
1321
01:22:51,240 --> 01:22:53,710
- Hello?
- Hey, buddy, how's college?
1322
01:22:53,800 --> 01:22:56,920
I just got here. My roommate
hasn't even showed up yet.
1323
01:22:56,980 --> 01:22:59,170
Do they room all you
pre-med geeks together?
1324
01:22:59,220 --> 01:23:01,100
I'm not sure I'm going pre-med.
1325
01:23:01,170 --> 01:23:02,920
I'm thinking about majoring in German.
1326
01:23:03,010 --> 01:23:05,260
German? I've got a better idea.
1327
01:23:05,340 --> 01:23:07,540
Why don't you major
in not being such a woman?
1328
01:23:07,590 --> 01:23:09,010
So, how's Jenny?
1329
01:23:09,060 --> 01:23:11,380
Jenny... Jenny who?
1330
01:23:11,550 --> 01:23:13,880
I know a lot of ladies
named Jenny, they're all...
1331
01:23:13,930 --> 01:23:15,270
Ow!
1332
01:23:16,890 --> 01:23:18,520
Hey, Scotty, what's up?
1333
01:23:18,570 --> 01:23:19,890
Hi, Jenny!
1334
01:23:19,940 --> 01:23:22,380
Have you heard from Jamie?
How's he doing with Frommer?
1335
01:23:22,480 --> 01:23:23,330
Oh, no.
1336
01:23:23,390 --> 01:23:27,500
1337
01:23:27,560 --> 01:23:29,450
Hold on.
1338
01:23:29,530 --> 01:23:31,420
Come here, robot!
1339
01:23:31,500 --> 01:23:33,570
Cooper, not again!
1340
01:23:33,620 --> 01:23:34,620
1341
01:23:34,700 --> 01:23:36,510
Hold on, this could be
my new roommate.
1342
01:23:42,960 --> 01:23:45,250
What's the freak look like?
1343
01:23:45,300 --> 01:23:48,750
Is he a dork or is he cool?
Better not be cooler than me.
1344
01:23:48,800 --> 01:23:50,850
Is he bigger than me?
1345
01:23:50,920 --> 01:23:53,760
I just got your last email.
What are you doing here?
1346
01:23:53,810 --> 01:23:55,970
Going to college.
1347
01:23:56,060 --> 01:23:58,480
You're going to college here?
1348
01:23:59,950 --> 01:24:01,980
- What dorm?
- This one.
1349
01:24:02,170 --> 01:24:04,280
Room 214.
1350
01:24:07,450 --> 01:24:09,320
How is this possible?
1351
01:24:09,410 --> 01:24:12,710
I guess they thought I was a guy.
1352
01:24:12,780 --> 01:24:16,660
Now who would be dumb enough
to make a mistake like that?
1353
01:24:25,260 --> 01:24:27,420
Do I hear kissing?
1354
01:24:27,470 --> 01:24:30,630
Are you making out with
your new roommate, Scotty?
1355
01:24:30,680 --> 01:24:33,480
1356
01:24:33,560 --> 01:24:35,100
Scotty?
1357
01:24:35,150 --> 01:24:37,900
Scotty? Scotty!
1358
01:24:37,970 --> 01:24:41,200
" Scotty doesn't know
that Fiona and me "
1359
01:24:41,220 --> 01:24:42,910
This happy ending is bullshit.
1360
01:24:43,470 --> 01:24:46,440
When does the fairy get laid?
I'm outta here.
1361
01:24:46,490 --> 01:24:49,760
" Still she's on her knees
And Scotty doesn't know "
1362
01:24:49,830 --> 01:24:53,480
" Oh, Scotty doesn't know "
1363
01:24:53,530 --> 01:24:56,090
- Catchy tune.
- Fuckin'-a, man.
1364
01:25:00,370 --> 01:25:03,760
" Fiona says she's out shopping "
1365
01:25:05,300 --> 01:25:10,000
" But she's under me
And I'm not stopping "
1366
01:25:10,050 --> 01:25:14,140
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
1367
01:25:14,190 --> 01:25:15,660
Scotty doesn't know!
1368
01:25:15,670 --> 01:25:17,120
Hello
1369
01:25:17,160 --> 01:25:21,480
and welcome to Amsterdam's finest and most
luxurious youth hostel.
1370
01:25:21,510 --> 01:25:22,860
Sounds great.
1371
01:25:22,950 --> 01:25:25,480
There is no bathroom,
nor is there one nearby.
1372
01:25:25,550 --> 01:25:29,030
" I can't believe
He's so trusting "
1373
01:25:31,660 --> 01:25:35,860
" While I'm right behind you thrusting "
1374
01:25:35,910 --> 01:25:37,830
- Get it?
- She got it.
1375
01:25:37,880 --> 01:25:41,330
If you do not wish to have
your valuables stolen,
1376
01:25:41,380 --> 01:25:45,280
I suggest destroying them
or discarding them right now.
1377
01:25:45,370 --> 01:25:48,850
You can also try hiding
your valuables...
1378
01:25:48,990 --> 01:25:50,390
in your anus.
1379
01:25:51,270 --> 01:25:52,040
Drink?
1380
01:25:57,400 --> 01:26:00,270
I'm gonna rip away his pants
and look at his dick, OK?
1381
01:26:00,350 --> 01:26:02,400
- Ready? Quit. Shut up.
1382
01:26:02,490 --> 01:26:05,050
Sorry. I know I fucked it up.
1383
01:26:05,100 --> 01:26:07,360
Yes! You take her hair...
1384
01:26:07,410 --> 01:26:10,910
and one strand at a time,
pull it out!
1385
01:26:10,990 --> 01:26:13,660
Use her like a humping post!
1386
01:26:13,730 --> 01:26:15,960
Jenny, this is Europe.
1387
01:26:16,030 --> 01:26:18,200
They have orange juice ads
with lesbians and dildos.
1388
01:26:19,740 --> 01:26:23,120
"Happy juice."
1389
01:26:23,210 --> 01:26:25,090
You gotta show them something they haven't seen.
1390
01:26:25,180 --> 01:26:29,290
♪ " Fiona's got him on the phone " ♪
1391
01:26:29,380 --> 01:26:32,460
♪ " And she's trying not to moan " ♪
1392
01:26:32,550 --> 01:26:36,270
♪ " It's a three Way call
And he knows nothing " ♪
1393
01:26:36,350 --> 01:26:38,270
♪ " Nothing, Scotty doesn't know " ♪
1394
01:26:38,350 --> 01:26:41,300
♪ " Scotty doesn't know
Scotty doesn't know " ♪
1395
01:26:41,330 --> 01:26:45,180
♪ Should a fire occur,
due to our faulty wiring, ♪
1396
01:26:45,260 --> 01:26:49,940
♪ or the fireworks factory upstairs,
you will be incinerated, ♪
1397
01:26:49,960 --> 01:26:52,930
♪ along with the valuables
you have hidden in your anus. ♪
1398
01:26:52,990 --> 01:26:55,920
♪ " So don't tell Scotty
Scotty doesn't know " ♪
1399
01:26:56,110 --> 01:26:56,940
♪ " Really want to go " ♪
1400
01:26:56,990 --> 01:26:59,770
♪ " Scotty doesn't know
Scotty doesn't know " ♪
1401
01:26:59,830 --> 01:27:03,000
♪ " Scotty doesn't know " ♪
1402
01:27:03,880 --> 01:27:07,620
♪ " The parking lot, why not? " ♪
1403
01:27:07,670 --> 01:27:10,170
♪ " It's so cool when you're on top " ♪
1404
01:27:10,250 --> 01:27:13,120
1405
01:27:13,370 --> 01:27:15,850
" Life is so hard
'Cause Scotty doesn't know "
1406
01:27:15,890 --> 01:27:17,480
" Scotty doesn't know "
1407
01:27:17,560 --> 01:27:20,430
Fuck off! Get out of it, you wankers!
1408
01:27:20,480 --> 01:27:24,070
Go on, you gaelic fucking
garlic-breath tossers!
1409
01:27:24,130 --> 01:27:26,550
Piss off! Get in here
and say that, mate!
1410
01:27:26,640 --> 01:27:28,970
Come on! Fucking come and have it!
1411
01:27:29,160 --> 01:27:30,870
You fucking beep?!
1412
01:27:30,940 --> 01:27:33,840
We'll beep, you bastard,
all over your fucking nose!
1413
01:27:33,890 --> 01:27:34,910
Fuck off!
1414
01:27:34,980 --> 01:27:36,950
Go on, you French bastards!
1415
01:27:37,000 --> 01:27:39,950
Get on the other side
of the road, you pricks!
1416
01:27:40,020 --> 01:27:41,420
Go on out of it!
1417
01:27:41,480 --> 01:27:42,950
Fuck off!
1418
01:27:43,000 --> 01:27:44,670
I'm nackered.
1419
01:27:44,750 --> 01:27:46,840
League supporters.
1420
01:27:46,920 --> 01:27:49,590
" Scotty doesn't know
Scotty doesn't know "
1421
01:27:49,660 --> 01:27:52,260
- No, wait...
1422
01:27:57,800 --> 01:28:01,270
Hey! Check these out!
I'm 18 years old.
1423
01:28:02,440 --> 01:28:04,910
♪ " Gonna tell Scotty
Gonna tell myself " ♪
1424
01:28:04,960 --> 01:28:07,940
♪ " Scotty has to know
Scotty has to know " ♪
1425
01:28:08,010 --> 01:28:10,530
♪ " Scotty has to
Scotty has to go " ♪
1426
01:28:10,680 --> 01:28:12,847
♪ " Scotty doesn't know
Scotty doesn't know " ♪
1427
01:28:13,706 --> 01:28:16,153
♪ " Scotty doesn't know
Scotty doesn't know " ♪
1428
01:28:16,180 --> 01:28:18,540
♪ " Scotty doesn't know
Scotty doesn't know " ♪
1429
01:28:18,620 --> 01:28:23,330
♪ " Scotty doesn't Scotty doesn't Scotty doesn't..." ♪
1430
01:28:23,380 --> 01:28:26,760
♪ Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know! ♪
1431
01:28:26,810 --> 01:28:29,800
♪ Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know! ♪
1432
01:28:29,870 --> 01:28:34,590
♪ Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know! ♪
1433
01:28:35,070 --> 01:28:36,560
♪ Scotty's gotta go! ♪
1434
01:29:36,980 --> 01:29:39,300
Is it off yet?
1435
01:29:39,440 --> 01:29:40,900
No. Keep rubbing it.
1436
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000
98252
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