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1
00:00:37,812 --> 00:00:39,024
I'm Dennis.
2
00:00:39,025 --> 00:00:42,956
I live in an ordinary house,
in an ordinary street,
3
00:00:42,957 --> 00:00:44,972
in an ordinary town.
4
00:00:44,973 --> 00:00:47,933
But I feel... different.
5
00:00:53,941 --> 00:00:56,024
I go to an ordinary school.
6
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:00,713
But I feel different there, too.
7
00:01:11,945 --> 00:01:13,977
Put him on an amber alert.
8
00:01:16,156 --> 00:01:17,274
Thank you.
9
00:01:18,021 --> 00:01:22,006
Ah... Lisa James.
The serial offender.
10
00:01:23,945 --> 00:01:26,936
Shall I measure her skirt,
Mr. Hawthorn?
11
00:01:26,937 --> 00:01:29,219
Lisa James
is the coolest girl there.
12
00:01:29,973 --> 00:01:33,005
She's always trying to bring
some style to the school.
13
00:01:33,333 --> 00:01:34,889
Dennis?
14
00:01:35,765 --> 00:01:38,889
Que voulez-vous acheter dans le magasin?
(What do you want to buy in the shop?)
15
00:01:38,914 --> 00:01:39,921
(Bakery)
16
00:01:40,013 --> 00:01:42,201
Um...
17
00:01:42,937 --> 00:01:43,985
Une voiture?
(A car?)
18
00:01:46,343 --> 00:01:49,964
Mais, c'est une boulangerie!
(But, it's a bakery!)
19
00:01:49,965 --> 00:01:53,968
Nous ne vendons pas de voiture dans une
boulangerie. (We don't sell cars in a bakery.)
20
00:01:53,969 --> 00:01:57,968
Ecoutez, Dennis. Ecoutez. Isabel?
(Listen, Dennis. Listen.)
21
00:01:57,969 --> 00:01:58,992
De... je pain
22
00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:02,928
Du. Du pain, oui. Du pain,
du pain. (Bread, bread.)
23
00:02:02,929 --> 00:02:05,961
The teachers moan
that I'm always daydreaming.
24
00:02:06,985 --> 00:02:10,024
Saturdays are the best,
cos that means football.
25
00:02:10,025 --> 00:02:13,992
- All right, Darvesh? - Yep.
- Hi, Jaspreet. Is that a new dupatta?
26
00:02:13,993 --> 00:02:19,940
Yes, thank you Dennis, it is.
Oh, you always notice things!
27
00:02:19,941 --> 00:02:22,004
Wish my son would notice
things like that.
28
00:02:22,005 --> 00:02:24,224
I notice you're embarrassing.
29
00:02:28,632 --> 00:02:30,941
Football is the one thing
I'm good at.
30
00:02:30,941 --> 00:02:31,992
Go on, Dennis!
31
00:02:31,993 --> 00:02:33,949
The one thing that's mine.
32
00:02:37,025 --> 00:02:38,988
Yes! Goal!
33
00:02:38,989 --> 00:02:41,091
But I still don't feel like
I fit in.
34
00:02:43,437 --> 00:02:45,624
Dad doesn't come to watch anymore.
35
00:02:46,009 --> 00:02:49,025
But these days
he has got a lot on his plate.
36
00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:51,861
- Oh! - Back! ...
37
00:02:52,013 --> 00:02:55,009
Oh! I'm knackered
just watching that lot.
38
00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:59,953
Sausages are a bit burnt.
39
00:03:01,957 --> 00:03:04,985
And I forgot to put the hob on
for the peas, but they'll soon melt.
40
00:03:06,961 --> 00:03:09,016
Things aren't easy in my family.
41
00:03:09,017 --> 00:03:11,009
It was better when Mum was around.
42
00:03:14,526 --> 00:03:17,554
When you were with her, you
felt like anything could happen.
43
00:03:19,929 --> 00:03:22,936
Come on, everyone! Don't be boring!
44
00:03:22,937 --> 00:03:24,968
Then one day it did.
45
00:03:24,969 --> 00:03:27,008
She left.
46
00:03:27,009 --> 00:03:31,965
After she'd gone, Dad burned every
single picture we had of her.
47
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,618
But I managed to save one.
48
00:03:52,746 --> 00:03:55,285
- What you doing?
- Ssh!
49
00:03:57,457 --> 00:03:59,375
But Dad being Dad,
50
00:03:59,415 --> 00:04:02,059
he couldn't resist cooking
some sausages at the same time.
51
00:04:05,949 --> 00:04:09,009
I suppose I wanted to escape
to some magical world.
52
00:04:11,941 --> 00:04:14,941
And I found it in the most
unexpected place.
53
00:04:32,527 --> 00:04:34,167
Dennis!
54
00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:42,386
Dennis!
55
00:04:52,929 --> 00:04:54,708
Boys can like Vogue too,
you know...
56
00:04:54,993 --> 00:04:56,052
Ahem!
57
00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:59,847
33 seconds.
That counts as browsing.
58
00:05:20,715 --> 00:05:22,678
Just Match and... Vogue.
59
00:05:24,001 --> 00:05:25,605
Vogue!
60
00:05:26,476 --> 00:05:28,004
The fashionista's Bible.
61
00:05:28,005 --> 00:05:31,016
An unusual choice
for a 12-year-old boy.
62
00:05:31,017 --> 00:05:32,972
Raj, I need to be
getting home, so...
63
00:05:32,973 --> 00:05:36,992
Come to think of it, I've never
had a boy your age buy Vogue.
64
00:05:37,297 --> 00:05:39,952
It's a Christmas present.
For my auntie.
65
00:05:39,953 --> 00:05:42,024
Oh, oh, oh!
Then you will need a card.
66
00:05:42,025 --> 00:05:44,952
- A card?
- To go with the present.
67
00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:47,984
I have Santa, a snowman, reindeers,
68
00:05:47,985 --> 00:05:50,940
with deepest sympathy, ...
69
00:05:50,941 --> 00:05:53,008
No, no, no. That's not right.
- The Santa one is fine.
70
00:05:53,009 --> 00:05:56,976
Then you will want
wrapping paper and sticking tape,
71
00:05:56,977 --> 00:05:58,960
and, oh, oh, oh! A gift tag.
72
00:05:58,961 --> 00:06:00,937
That is nine pounds...
73
00:06:10,949 --> 00:06:13,020
Come on, Dennis. Strike a pose.
74
00:06:33,409 --> 00:06:34,685
- Dennis?
75
00:06:41,169 --> 00:06:42,966
What you doing?
76
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:47,336
Nothing. Just... thinking.
77
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:48,985
What?
78
00:06:50,013 --> 00:06:54,956
You know how when we were little,
we'd dress as pirates and Daleks?
79
00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:56,316
Yeah.
80
00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:57,980
Don't you sort of miss that?
81
00:06:57,981 --> 00:06:59,992
Nah. Got better things to do now.
82
00:06:59,993 --> 00:07:01,976
Like hang around outside the offy?
83
00:07:01,977 --> 00:07:05,013
Nah. That's boring.
We hang around outside the Pound Shop.
84
00:07:43,017 --> 00:07:47,945
- See you later!
- See you very soon.
85
00:07:48,993 --> 00:07:51,008
It's a party!
- I'm not 18 years old!
86
00:07:51,009 --> 00:07:54,446
- Why did you agree to have a party?
- You're acting like I'm not here!
87
00:08:05,937 --> 00:08:07,562
Think it shrunk a bit.
88
00:08:10,953 --> 00:08:12,960
There you go.
- Thanks, Dad.
89
00:08:12,961 --> 00:08:15,988
Right, now. The lorry's being serviced
today, so I've got a bit of time.
90
00:08:15,989 --> 00:08:18,949
I was going to fix that leaky
pipe in your room.
91
00:08:20,211 --> 00:08:23,007
Where you going?
- I forgot my maths book.
92
00:08:36,479 --> 00:08:39,034
- Hiya, Peter!
- Hi, Jaspreet.
93
00:08:41,025 --> 00:08:43,004
Dennis'll be down in a sec.
94
00:08:43,005 --> 00:08:47,012
Oh! Not too soon, I hope.
I do so enjoy our little chats.
95
00:08:47,013 --> 00:08:48,017
Dennis!
96
00:08:50,981 --> 00:08:52,013
Any sec now. Just...
97
00:08:53,961 --> 00:08:56,008
Dennis!
98
00:08:56,009 --> 00:08:58,960
Get down here! Here we are.
- Hiya.
99
00:08:59,211 --> 00:09:00,262
Bye, Dad.
100
00:09:00,287 --> 00:09:02,297
All the best.
Thanks for taking him again.
101
00:09:02,322 --> 00:09:03,976
Oh, no. Not at all, Peter.
102
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:06,759
And if you need anything,
just call.
103
00:09:06,981 --> 00:09:08,918
Anything at all, day or...
104
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,404
night.
105
00:09:11,762 --> 00:09:13,395
Oh. Yep.
106
00:09:14,933 --> 00:09:16,973
I'll just, er...
107
00:09:19,629 --> 00:09:21,975
There we are, then.
108
00:09:22,365 --> 00:09:23,377
See you later!
109
00:09:26,989 --> 00:09:28,949
Yeah, I'm the captain.
110
00:09:28,949 --> 00:09:30,949
Chief goal scorer,
so I take all the penalties.
111
00:09:30,950 --> 00:09:32,929
He takes all the penalties.
112
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:52,952
Why do we have a school uniform,
Miss James?
113
00:09:52,953 --> 00:09:55,004
To keep the nylon factories
going, sir?
114
00:09:55,005 --> 00:09:59,948
Because a uniform ensures discipline
and without discipline...
115
00:09:59,949 --> 00:10:01,988
Chaos ensues.
116
00:10:01,989 --> 00:10:04,952
Miss Price, I'm capable
of finishing my own...
117
00:10:04,953 --> 00:10:06,944
Sentences.
118
00:10:06,945 --> 00:10:10,004
Sorry, Mr. Hawthorn.
119
00:10:10,372 --> 00:10:12,043
Oi, Simms!
120
00:10:13,170 --> 00:10:15,012
Think you're clever, don't you?
121
00:10:15,810 --> 00:10:17,624
I'm just practising.
122
00:10:17,649 --> 00:10:20,671
Well, let's see
if you've improved, then.
123
00:10:21,957 --> 00:10:23,398
Hit that can.
124
00:10:34,829 --> 00:10:37,235
- I expect everyone at this school
125
00:10:37,260 --> 00:10:39,641
to be dressed immaculately
at all times.
126
00:10:40,651 --> 00:10:41,833
Oh!
127
00:10:42,145 --> 00:10:43,280
Ah...
128
00:10:50,755 --> 00:10:53,184
Ssh! Quiet, please.
129
00:10:53,825 --> 00:10:56,356
This is a detention,
it's not a discotheque.
130
00:11:07,929 --> 00:11:09,288
What are you in for?
131
00:11:11,257 --> 00:11:13,904
I kicked a ball
through the Head's window.
132
00:11:13,929 --> 00:11:16,647
That was you? Respect.
133
00:11:16,997 --> 00:11:20,000
What's your name?
- Dennis Simms.
134
00:11:20,001 --> 00:11:22,961
- John's little brother?
- Yeah.
135
00:11:25,001 --> 00:11:28,826
- I'm Lisa. - I know. You're a legend!
You're the coolest girl in school.
136
00:11:28,851 --> 00:11:32,539
I love the way you dress. Every day
there's a new little twist and...
137
00:11:33,470 --> 00:11:36,000
Don't worry, I'm not obsessed.
138
00:11:36,001 --> 00:11:38,977
No, no. You don't sound it at all!
139
00:11:50,213 --> 00:11:51,556
Vogue!
140
00:11:51,957 --> 00:11:53,988
That's not mine.
I don't know how that got there.
141
00:11:53,989 --> 00:11:55,960
- Can you get on
with your work, please?
142
00:11:55,961 --> 00:11:57,980
I'm trying to buy some
Christmas present...
143
00:11:57,981 --> 00:11:59,949
I meant, I'm doing marking.
144
00:12:04,013 --> 00:12:07,960
I thought I was the only one
round here who read this.
145
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,960
You are, cos,
like I said, it's not mine.
146
00:12:09,961 --> 00:12:13,953
- You into haute couture or
pret-a-porter? - I'm easy.
147
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,977
You're new to all this, aren't you?
148
00:12:18,977 --> 00:12:20,997
Don't Pret make sandwiches?
149
00:12:23,609 --> 00:12:25,976
But some of that stuff
is too mad to wear, surely.
150
00:12:25,977 --> 00:12:28,957
And there's a cardigan on one page
and it says it costs £300.
151
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:30,021
That has got to be a mistake?
152
00:12:30,022 --> 00:12:31,989
So many questions, young Hobbit.
153
00:12:31,989 --> 00:12:34,183
And there was one dress,
and it had shoulders out here.
154
00:12:34,208 --> 00:12:36,180
I mean, how can you
get on the bus in that?
155
00:12:36,180 --> 00:12:39,135
Oh. Well, this is my house. Bye.
156
00:12:39,136 --> 00:12:40,292
Oh, OK.
157
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:41,979
Bye.
158
00:12:45,172 --> 00:12:47,191
- So, you'll come round Saturday, then?
159
00:12:47,192 --> 00:12:50,135
- What for?
- To learn.
160
00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:51,168
Everything.
161
00:13:01,109 --> 00:13:02,191
- Where are you going?
162
00:13:02,192 --> 00:13:04,131
To Lisa James' house.
163
00:13:04,132 --> 00:13:06,188
Oh, yeah.
And I've got a date with Rihanna!
164
00:13:12,148 --> 00:13:13,171
Hey.
165
00:13:13,172 --> 00:13:15,208
- All right?
Come in. Fancy a drink?
166
00:13:15,208 --> 00:13:17,020
- Why not?
167
00:13:17,933 --> 00:13:19,222
Champagne cocktail?
168
00:13:21,164 --> 00:13:22,374
You're under age.
169
00:13:24,124 --> 00:13:25,209
Um Bongo?
170
00:13:28,124 --> 00:13:33,179
- That's gorgeous! - Classic Dior.
Look at this from the '70s.
171
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:36,159
You see how the lines are all
the same?
172
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:40,167
Now, this is Italian Vogue.
My favourite.
173
00:13:40,168 --> 00:13:43,171
- You'd look amazing in that.
- Wouldn't anyone?
174
00:13:43,172 --> 00:13:46,180
My mum loved to dress up.
She always looked great.
175
00:13:48,140 --> 00:13:50,159
What happened to her?
176
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:53,160
She ran off with this guy
who's got his own roofing company.
177
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:56,163
Granny says they've got a baby
together now.
178
00:13:56,164 --> 00:13:58,167
- I'm sorry.
- Me too.
179
00:13:58,168 --> 00:14:01,151
Now I live in a house
full of blokes.
180
00:14:01,152 --> 00:14:03,753
It's just so boring
and grey sometimes.
181
00:14:04,212 --> 00:14:06,180
Can I show you something?
182
00:14:14,140 --> 00:14:16,175
Wow! Who made that?
183
00:14:16,219 --> 00:14:17,362
Me.
184
00:14:17,579 --> 00:14:20,211
I'd do it at school, but the Head
won't let us do fashion tech.
185
00:14:20,212 --> 00:14:24,147
How am I meant to be a designer if I
can't even get any qualifications?
186
00:14:24,148 --> 00:14:25,180
It's beautiful.
187
00:14:26,208 --> 00:14:28,187
Maybe...
188
00:14:28,188 --> 00:14:30,187
you should try it on?
189
00:14:30,188 --> 00:14:32,163
What? No!
190
00:14:32,164 --> 00:14:34,159
- Go on, try it on.
- I can't do that.
191
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,207
Who's going to
have a problem with it?
192
00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,195
Well, let's see...
193
00:14:38,196 --> 00:14:43,195
my dad, my brother, the Head,
the football team,
194
00:14:43,196 --> 00:14:45,191
oh, and everyone else I know.
195
00:14:45,192 --> 00:14:47,116
Not me.
196
00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:51,143
I don't think there should be
any rules.
197
00:14:51,144 --> 00:14:54,155
I think we should all wear...
198
00:14:54,156 --> 00:14:56,167
whatever we like.
199
00:14:56,324 --> 00:14:59,456
Yeah, but whoever heard,
200
00:14:59,843 --> 00:15:01,710
of a boy in a dress?
201
00:15:09,070 --> 00:15:12,143
- We've got the Christmas things
from out the shed. - Oh, right.
202
00:15:12,144 --> 00:15:14,187
Thought we could all do
the tree together.
203
00:15:14,188 --> 00:15:16,156
I used to do that with your mum.
204
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:21,270
I was on tinsel, she was on baubles.
205
00:15:23,407 --> 00:15:25,387
Let's do it later, yeah?
206
00:15:28,180 --> 00:15:30,191
Why don't you come to the semifinals?
207
00:15:30,192 --> 00:15:34,127
Can't remember the last time
you saw me play footy. - Oh, I can.
208
00:15:34,128 --> 00:15:35,199
She came, too.
209
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,143
It was just before that...
210
00:15:38,144 --> 00:15:41,171
so-and-so came to fix the roof.
211
00:15:42,101 --> 00:15:43,765
I'll get it.
212
00:15:53,308 --> 00:15:54,611
Hello?
213
00:15:54,916 --> 00:15:55,983
Lisa.
214
00:15:56,196 --> 00:15:58,749
Yes, John, it's me.
215
00:16:00,184 --> 00:16:02,175
Is Dennis in?
216
00:16:02,176 --> 00:16:05,660
- Who?
- Your brother, Dennis.
217
00:16:05,685 --> 00:16:07,184
Oh, yeah. Wait there.
218
00:16:27,148 --> 00:16:31,124
He's out all day, but I'll tell you
who's here, and that's me.
219
00:16:33,204 --> 00:16:35,132
Little accident?
220
00:16:37,004 --> 00:16:39,724
I thought we could
hang around outside the chippy?
221
00:16:39,803 --> 00:16:43,162
Throw things in the canal?
Whatever you want to do, babes.
222
00:16:43,758 --> 00:16:45,507
Oh look, he's back.
223
00:16:45,565 --> 00:16:47,752
- You ready?
- Sure. See you later.
224
00:16:54,164 --> 00:16:56,128
Raise your game, son.
225
00:16:59,527 --> 00:17:01,825
I've got something to show you.
226
00:17:01,850 --> 00:17:03,145
Really?
227
00:17:06,925 --> 00:17:08,136
Do you like it?
228
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:12,183
- I love it.
- I've been working on it all night.
229
00:17:12,184 --> 00:17:14,457
I need to make a few adjustments.
230
00:17:14,655 --> 00:17:16,066
Will you... put it on?
231
00:17:16,590 --> 00:17:19,529
- Put on the dress?
- Yeah.
232
00:17:19,819 --> 00:17:22,584
Oh. Unless, of course,
you really don't want to?
233
00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:25,289
No, no! I mean,
if it helps you out...
234
00:17:43,140 --> 00:17:45,132
Why are you laughing?
235
00:17:45,725 --> 00:17:48,793
You look incredible.
236
00:17:49,208 --> 00:17:52,187
- How does it fit?
- Perfectly!
237
00:17:52,528 --> 00:17:53,625
So,
238
00:17:54,296 --> 00:17:56,219
who did you make it for?
239
00:17:57,062 --> 00:17:59,085
- You!
- What?!
240
00:17:59,110 --> 00:18:02,665
Oh, I'm not stupid. I can tell
you really wanted to wear one.
241
00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:05,165
And you could totally
pass for a girl,
242
00:18:05,208 --> 00:18:07,379
with a few extra little touches.
243
00:18:07,404 --> 00:18:10,168
- Do you really think so?
- You could go out in that.
244
00:18:10,169 --> 00:18:12,599
- Where?
- I dunno.
245
00:18:12,624 --> 00:18:16,155
Down the street? Into town?
- How about Raj's shop!
246
00:18:16,156 --> 00:18:18,191
You would get away with it,
I swear.
247
00:18:18,192 --> 00:18:20,124
Yeah, but...
248
00:18:22,156 --> 00:18:24,212
we aren't actually
going to do it, are we?
249
00:18:31,208 --> 00:18:33,123
I'm scared.
250
00:18:33,124 --> 00:18:36,140
Just be confident.
The world is your catwalk.
251
00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:39,183
This isn't a good idea.
Raj knows me.
252
00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:43,132
He knows Dennis.
He's never met Denise.
253
00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:45,952
Who's Denise?
254
00:18:51,156 --> 00:18:54,207
Aha, Lisa, my favourite customer!
255
00:18:54,554 --> 00:18:56,703
Who is your new friend?
256
00:18:56,730 --> 00:19:00,718
This is my French exchange...
person. Girl. Student.
257
00:19:02,701 --> 00:19:04,696
Bonjour.
(Hello.)
258
00:19:04,791 --> 00:19:07,147
Je am... Denise.
(I'm... Denise.)
259
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:11,159
Wilkommen! (Welcome!)
My shop is famous around the world.
260
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:13,184
Surely you've heard of it?
261
00:19:13,184 --> 00:19:16,123
Non, Monsieur Raj.
(No, Mr. Raj.)
262
00:19:16,124 --> 00:19:18,695
You know my name! You must have!
263
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:22,978
How about commemorative postcards
to send to your family back in France?
264
00:19:23,303 --> 00:19:25,338
- They're blank.
- Yes, I know.
265
00:19:26,152 --> 00:19:29,183
You can draw British
landmarks on them with...
266
00:19:29,184 --> 00:19:33,175
this set of colouring pens,
priced just £4.99.
267
00:19:33,176 --> 00:19:35,152
We'll just take this magazine.
268
00:19:37,192 --> 00:19:39,199
Now, Denise, before you leave,
269
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:43,191
you must try our traditional
British delicacies.
270
00:19:43,192 --> 00:19:46,155
These Twixs came in fresh
this morning.
271
00:19:46,226 --> 00:19:47,976
Non, merci.
(No, thank you.)
272
00:19:48,079 --> 00:19:50,822
Le Munch De Monster, s'il vous plaît.
(The Monster of Munch, please.)
273
00:19:50,847 --> 00:19:52,386
Excellent choice, senorita.
274
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,581
- Bye, Raj.
- Bye.
275
00:19:57,926 --> 00:19:59,933
Au revoir.
(Goodbye.)
276
00:20:00,129 --> 00:20:01,612
Ciao!
277
00:20:02,672 --> 00:20:05,701
- Peter. Perfect Peter.
278
00:20:06,148 --> 00:20:08,179
Peter the poppet.
279
00:20:08,180 --> 00:20:10,199
Peter Piper picked a peck
of pickled pepper.
280
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,147
What exactly do you want?
281
00:20:12,148 --> 00:20:14,703
Yeah, is Dennis ready for the semis?
282
00:20:14,728 --> 00:20:17,123
- Well, he's...
- Do you know, Peter,
283
00:20:17,124 --> 00:20:21,187
every time I pop by and accidently
peep through your windows,
284
00:20:21,188 --> 00:20:25,148
- Oh. - I can't help thinking that this
house could do with a woman's touch.
285
00:20:26,196 --> 00:20:29,155
- He's... - So I've bought
you some scatter cushions.
286
00:20:29,156 --> 00:20:31,143
And a couple of photo frames.
287
00:20:31,144 --> 00:20:34,184
And oh, look... who's this?
288
00:20:37,478 --> 00:20:40,441
He's out. With that
Lisa James girl from school.
289
00:20:40,466 --> 00:20:42,381
I will find him.
290
00:20:43,017 --> 00:20:44,491
Stay strong.
291
00:20:57,799 --> 00:20:59,182
That was hilarious!
292
00:20:59,207 --> 00:21:01,541
I know!
So, when do we do it again?
293
00:21:01,808 --> 00:21:03,143
How about never?
294
00:21:03,168 --> 00:21:06,203
- What about the shopping centre?
Tons of people there. - No!
295
00:21:06,204 --> 00:21:08,611
Lisa, where's Dennis?
296
00:21:08,636 --> 00:21:10,353
The semifinals!
297
00:21:10,378 --> 00:21:11,736
Er, Dennis?
298
00:21:12,212 --> 00:21:16,143
He said to tell you, if I saw you,
299
00:21:16,144 --> 00:21:19,139
like, um, I'm seeing you now,
300
00:21:19,140 --> 00:21:20,568
to say that he...
301
00:21:20,593 --> 00:21:23,148
will be home in five minutes.
302
00:21:26,851 --> 00:21:27,887
Well, come on!
303
00:21:34,180 --> 00:21:36,047
How can anyone run in these?
304
00:22:10,196 --> 00:22:12,144
All right, speedy!
305
00:22:16,148 --> 00:22:17,211
Where were you?
306
00:22:17,212 --> 00:22:19,156
Doing weights.
307
00:22:25,484 --> 00:22:28,187
Are you a fan
of the rap music, Dennis?
308
00:22:28,188 --> 00:22:30,120
Just say no.
309
00:22:36,004 --> 00:22:37,321
And your bikini.
310
00:22:37,992 --> 00:22:39,343
Come and see me.
311
00:22:40,091 --> 00:22:41,148
See me.
312
00:22:42,093 --> 00:22:43,834
So easily. Ooh...
313
00:22:44,210 --> 00:22:46,186
Please, don't do that.
314
00:22:47,506 --> 00:22:49,068
Eh eh eh-eh!
315
00:22:55,184 --> 00:22:57,183
Ah ha. Look at him!
316
00:22:57,184 --> 00:22:59,156
Oh, go back to Hogwarts.
317
00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:04,429
Darv, is it weird
wearing a patka on your head?
318
00:23:04,628 --> 00:23:06,417
Nah, it's just a Sikh thing.
319
00:23:06,442 --> 00:23:09,199
Yeah, I know, but you're the
only boy at school who wears one.
320
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:10,832
It's no big deal.
321
00:23:10,857 --> 00:23:13,611
And it would be boring if we were
all the same, wouldn't it?
322
00:23:15,935 --> 00:23:19,013
- So, you're playing St Kenneth's.
323
00:23:19,678 --> 00:23:23,171
Private school, state-of-the-art
sports facilities,
324
00:23:23,196 --> 00:23:26,092
and, let's face it,
a better gene pool.
325
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,879
Now, on paper,
things don't look very good.
326
00:23:31,383 --> 00:23:34,255
And, looking at you now,
it's a lot worse.
327
00:23:35,827 --> 00:23:38,858
You're always out of breath,
you've got chubby legs,
328
00:23:38,967 --> 00:23:41,696
and most of you are still waiting
for your growth spurt.
329
00:23:41,825 --> 00:23:43,432
Sorry, son, it's been and gone.
330
00:23:44,366 --> 00:23:46,964
Right, come on.
Put your hands in the middle.
331
00:23:52,176 --> 00:23:53,184
Now lift them up.
332
00:23:53,184 --> 00:23:55,151
Whoosh.
333
00:23:55,152 --> 00:23:58,199
That's supposed to help.
I've got no idea how.
334
00:23:58,756 --> 00:24:00,004
Come on, then.
335
00:24:07,116 --> 00:24:11,160
Whoo! Come on, football!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
336
00:24:13,132 --> 00:24:16,191
- It's tails.
- Yes! Won the toss.
337
00:24:16,192 --> 00:24:19,135
Once again, the captain leads
from the front.
338
00:24:19,136 --> 00:24:21,339
Gareth, we were all
talking about penalties...
339
00:24:21,364 --> 00:24:23,487
I'm the captain, I'm taking them.
340
00:24:24,618 --> 00:24:26,046
- Change ends!
341
00:24:47,983 --> 00:24:49,292
- Fuckin ace.
342
00:24:54,144 --> 00:24:55,187
- Dennis.
343
00:24:55,188 --> 00:24:56,196
To me.
344
00:24:57,661 --> 00:24:58,794
Good luck.
345
00:25:05,964 --> 00:25:07,346
Come on, Gareth!
346
00:25:29,759 --> 00:25:31,173
Bad luck!
347
00:25:44,900 --> 00:25:45,951
- Strike it!
348
00:25:46,172 --> 00:25:47,180
Yes!
349
00:25:52,196 --> 00:25:54,119
What's happened?
350
00:25:54,120 --> 00:25:55,183
We won.
351
00:25:55,184 --> 00:25:57,164
- Really?
- Yes.
352
00:25:58,196 --> 00:25:59,204
Pretty good.
353
00:26:02,717 --> 00:26:04,350
You should stick to quidditch.
354
00:26:12,196 --> 00:26:14,199
Dad! We won!
355
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,172
That's great. Well done.
356
00:26:18,539 --> 00:26:22,164
So, you didn't get
a chance to put up the tree?
357
00:26:23,196 --> 00:26:24,594
Oh. Sorry, son.
358
00:26:25,838 --> 00:26:29,002
We're not doing Christmas this year.
I just can't face it.
359
00:26:29,818 --> 00:26:33,400
Dad, sometimes I think
you choose to be miserable.
360
00:26:33,695 --> 00:26:35,412
- Dennis!
- He does!
361
00:26:35,437 --> 00:26:38,196
It's like you made a rule,
you can never forget about Mum.
362
00:26:38,196 --> 00:26:40,139
Well, it's not that easy.
363
00:26:40,140 --> 00:26:43,127
- You have to break the rules
sometimes. - You can talk!
364
00:26:43,128 --> 00:26:46,140
- What? - He's got a picture
of Mum under his mattress.
365
00:26:56,975 --> 00:26:58,592
Bring it here now.
366
00:27:29,989 --> 00:27:32,199
I thought I said no reminders
of your mum in this house.
367
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:35,147
- But, Dad... - This is going
in the bin where it belongs.
368
00:27:35,148 --> 00:27:36,273
It's my only one.
369
00:27:39,744 --> 00:27:40,956
I don't care.
370
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,124
I'm going out!
371
00:28:06,439 --> 00:28:07,947
Dennis?
372
00:28:08,854 --> 00:28:11,837
Are you OK? - I want
to wear the dress again.
373
00:28:11,924 --> 00:28:13,927
What? Go back to Raj's?
374
00:28:13,952 --> 00:28:18,007
No. I want to do something
much bigger. Something crazy.
375
00:28:18,212 --> 00:28:19,906
How crazy?
376
00:28:20,595 --> 00:28:22,000
Really crazy.
377
00:28:30,540 --> 00:28:31,540
You ready?
378
00:28:52,124 --> 00:28:53,159
Who's this?
379
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,645
My French exchange student.
380
00:28:57,607 --> 00:28:58,747
Bonjour.
(Hello.)
381
00:28:58,772 --> 00:29:00,403
Je m'appelle
(My name)
382
00:29:00,551 --> 00:29:01,630
Denise.
383
00:29:02,196 --> 00:29:04,124
She's from Paris.
384
00:29:05,132 --> 00:29:08,139
I thought all the exchanges
were from Marseille.
385
00:29:08,140 --> 00:29:12,127
She's from Rue de Paris
in Marseille.
386
00:29:12,128 --> 00:29:15,113
Even if she is, nobody enters
387
00:29:15,138 --> 00:29:18,095
this school,
of which I'm the secretary,
388
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:20,147
without written permission.
389
00:29:20,148 --> 00:29:22,195
Oh, I cleared it with the Head.
390
00:29:22,196 --> 00:29:25,159
Then let's go
to the office and check.
391
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:26,196
Now.
392
00:29:28,132 --> 00:29:30,195
Sure. No problem.
393
00:29:30,196 --> 00:29:34,163
I mean, it will look like
you're questioning his authority,
394
00:29:34,164 --> 00:29:36,143
but you know best.
395
00:29:36,144 --> 00:29:39,167
Lisa James, you can talk to me
until you're blue in the face,
396
00:29:39,168 --> 00:29:42,119
but none of that is going
to change the fact that I've
397
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:45,449
just decided it's all fine.
398
00:29:45,975 --> 00:29:47,370
Off to your lessons.
399
00:29:51,192 --> 00:29:53,143
How long are you staying?
400
00:29:53,144 --> 00:29:55,159
Cool bangle. Is it from France?
401
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,143
Is it hard having to speak
French all day?
402
00:29:58,144 --> 00:29:59,179
Non.
(No.)
403
00:29:59,180 --> 00:30:01,124
Sit down, shut up.
404
00:30:05,192 --> 00:30:07,115
You're new.
405
00:30:07,116 --> 00:30:08,172
She's from France.
406
00:30:08,173 --> 00:30:10,180
Oh, bonjour.
(Oh, hello.)
407
00:30:13,128 --> 00:30:15,119
No, that's all I've got.
408
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:17,135
I'm Mr. Norris.
409
00:30:17,136 --> 00:30:19,119
I teach PE, but
410
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:22,119
they also make me take history.
411
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:23,211
You know much history?
412
00:30:23,814 --> 00:30:24,853
No.
413
00:30:24,959 --> 00:30:26,775
Good. Then you'll fit right in.
414
00:30:27,007 --> 00:30:31,030
Start of the First World War. 1914.
415
00:30:31,148 --> 00:30:33,164
The Prime Minister
416
00:30:33,744 --> 00:30:35,773
was Winston Churchill.
417
00:30:41,212 --> 00:30:44,159
Gareth. Gareth Small.
418
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:45,778
Captain of the football team.
419
00:30:45,803 --> 00:30:47,230
Bonjour, Gareth.
(Hello, Gareth)
420
00:30:47,255 --> 00:30:48,667
Je too enjoy le football.
421
00:30:49,192 --> 00:30:52,195
So, do you score all the goals?
422
00:30:52,196 --> 00:30:55,171
I can't lie, babes. Yes, I do.
423
00:30:55,172 --> 00:30:57,155
Yeah, he does. What of it?
424
00:30:57,156 --> 00:31:00,148
Because I heard
it is a boy called...
425
00:31:00,866 --> 00:31:01,947
Dennis.
426
00:31:02,788 --> 00:31:04,167
Don't know who told you that.
427
00:31:04,168 --> 00:31:06,119
Yeah, who told you that?
428
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:07,163
Everyone says it.
429
00:31:07,164 --> 00:31:12,123
Yes, they say you, are the one
who miss all the penalties.
430
00:31:12,148 --> 00:31:14,325
No, no, babes,
I'm the star player.
431
00:31:14,350 --> 00:31:16,187
You must come and watch a game.
432
00:31:16,188 --> 00:31:19,127
Don't come and watch a game.
433
00:31:19,128 --> 00:31:20,168
Come on, Gareth!
434
00:31:25,808 --> 00:31:27,089
Hey, Denise!
435
00:31:28,422 --> 00:31:30,500
- Denise!
- Hey, Denise!
436
00:31:33,003 --> 00:31:35,135
- This is just the best.
- I know.
437
00:31:44,827 --> 00:31:46,275
- Dennis?
- Ssh!
438
00:31:46,629 --> 00:31:48,026
What on earth are you doing?
439
00:31:48,051 --> 00:31:49,440
I'm just being
someone else for the day.
440
00:31:49,465 --> 00:31:51,448
- Are you nuts?
- It's fun.
441
00:31:51,449 --> 00:31:53,476
It's not going to be fun
when everyone finds out.
442
00:31:53,477 --> 00:31:56,417
You'll never live this down.
- Only you've recognised me.
443
00:31:56,417 --> 00:31:58,417
So far!
You've got to get changed.
444
00:31:58,418 --> 00:32:01,421
Relax!
I've got it all under control.
445
00:32:06,481 --> 00:32:08,413
So, what's next?
446
00:32:09,489 --> 00:32:11,436
Double French.
447
00:32:11,437 --> 00:32:13,437
What?
I'm getting out of here.
448
00:32:17,429 --> 00:32:18,464
Bonjour!
(Hello!)
449
00:32:18,465 --> 00:32:20,816
Bonjour, Madame.
450
00:32:20,841 --> 00:32:24,239
- Mademoiselle. (Miss.)
- Mademoiselle Windsor.
451
00:32:24,869 --> 00:32:26,526
Asseyez-vous.
(Sit down.)
452
00:32:30,211 --> 00:32:32,079
Et vous, qui etes-vous?
(And you, who are you?)
453
00:32:34,296 --> 00:32:35,718
Who are you?
454
00:32:36,461 --> 00:32:41,464
This is Denise,
she's my German pen pal, Miss.
455
00:32:41,465 --> 00:32:44,453
I thought you said
she was from France.
456
00:32:46,108 --> 00:32:48,160
Good point. Thank you.
457
00:32:49,473 --> 00:32:51,489
French pen pal.
458
00:32:53,473 --> 00:32:56,405
Ah, soyez la bienvenue!
(Ah, welcome!)
459
00:32:57,457 --> 00:33:00,416
Quel grand plaisir
(What a delight)
460
00:33:00,441 --> 00:33:02,635
de vous accueillir parmi nous
(to welcome you among us)
461
00:33:02,660 --> 00:33:04,408
dans notre humble classe!
(in our humble class!)
462
00:33:04,433 --> 00:33:07,416
C'est tout simplement merveilleux!
(This is just wonderful!)
463
00:33:07,417 --> 00:33:09,448
J'ai tellement de questions à vous poser.
(I have so many questions to ask you.)
464
00:33:09,449 --> 00:33:11,476
De qu'elle région de France venez-vous?
(From which part of France are you coming?)
465
00:33:11,477 --> 00:33:13,931
Comment sont les écoles dans votre région?
(How are the schools in your area?)
466
00:33:13,956 --> 00:33:15,930
Quel est votre passe temps favori?
(What's your favorite hobby?)
467
00:33:15,955 --> 00:33:17,489
Que font vos parents?
(What do your parents do?)
468
00:33:17,514 --> 00:33:19,729
Faites nous part de vos premières
(Tell us about your first)
469
00:33:19,754 --> 00:33:21,582
passion de l'Angleterre?
(passion of England?)
470
00:33:25,151 --> 00:33:28,526
May I speak...
in English for one moment?
471
00:33:29,057 --> 00:33:30,077
Yes, of course.
472
00:33:31,461 --> 00:33:35,476
How can I put this,
how you say, politely?
473
00:33:35,477 --> 00:33:37,473
Poliment! Poliment!
(Politely! Politely!)
474
00:33:39,626 --> 00:33:41,677
- Madame Windsor.
- Mademoiselle.
475
00:33:42,226 --> 00:33:46,237
I'm very sorry,
but I'm not understanding
476
00:33:46,363 --> 00:33:48,339
anything you are saying...
477
00:33:48,861 --> 00:33:51,832
because of your very poor
French accent.
478
00:34:04,449 --> 00:34:06,456
Do you need a tissue?
479
00:34:06,457 --> 00:34:09,480
I'll be fine.
I've just got something in my eye.
480
00:34:09,481 --> 00:34:12,551
I'll step outside for a minute.
My eye. L'oreille! (The ear!)
481
00:34:23,654 --> 00:34:25,045
What was all that about?
482
00:34:25,445 --> 00:34:28,460
Ms Windsor's one of the nice ones
and you totally humiliated her.
483
00:34:28,461 --> 00:34:31,396
You could have told me
you had double French today.
484
00:34:31,397 --> 00:34:32,448
I forgot. Sorry.
485
00:34:32,449 --> 00:34:34,448
- There's nothing I can do now.
- Look out!
486
00:34:34,449 --> 00:34:36,400
I don't know where he is.
487
00:34:36,401 --> 00:34:37,484
He left the house this
morning before me.
488
00:34:37,485 --> 00:34:39,440
Bunking off, I presume.
489
00:34:39,441 --> 00:34:42,436
That's not like Dennis.
I'm worried about him.
490
00:34:42,437 --> 00:34:44,456
I shall have to call your father.
491
00:34:44,457 --> 00:34:46,629
Just let me have a quick look
round first? - Oh!
492
00:34:58,885 --> 00:35:00,452
What do you think you're doing?
493
00:35:00,453 --> 00:35:02,444
Coming over here,
stealing our boyfriends?
494
00:35:02,445 --> 00:35:04,440
I'm not liking le Gareth in that way.
495
00:35:04,441 --> 00:35:06,413
You lying French tart!
496
00:35:07,417 --> 00:35:09,416
Girls fight over me all the time.
497
00:35:09,417 --> 00:35:11,469
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
498
00:35:21,453 --> 00:35:24,424
Oh, my days.
499
00:35:24,425 --> 00:35:25,457
Dennis?
500
00:35:47,304 --> 00:35:48,340
Silence!
501
00:36:00,425 --> 00:36:01,468
You.
502
00:36:01,469 --> 00:36:04,420
The boy in the dress.
- Sir, it's not his fault, I...
503
00:36:04,421 --> 00:36:05,704
I said, silence.
504
00:36:17,461 --> 00:36:20,405
Would you care
to explain yourself, boy?
505
00:36:22,465 --> 00:36:25,469
Why did you come to school
today dressed in a...
506
00:36:27,649 --> 00:36:28,685
dress?
507
00:36:30,433 --> 00:36:31,437
Don't know, sir.
508
00:36:32,050 --> 00:36:33,323
Don't know, sir.
509
00:36:35,078 --> 00:36:37,086
Dennis Simms, you are a disgrace.
510
00:36:38,975 --> 00:36:41,257
But, then, what can we expect
of a boy from a...
511
00:36:43,889 --> 00:36:44,913
broken home?
512
00:36:49,810 --> 00:36:50,983
You are expelled!
513
00:36:52,477 --> 00:36:54,844
- But, sir...
- There are no buts, boy!
514
00:36:54,869 --> 00:36:57,266
But, Mr Hawthorn,
you didn't expel Karl Bates
515
00:36:57,406 --> 00:36:59,413
and he ate the school goldfish.
516
00:36:59,438 --> 00:37:02,114
You are on a final warning,
Lisa James.
517
00:37:03,148 --> 00:37:06,671
Please, sir, I don't want
to let my friends down.
518
00:37:07,603 --> 00:37:09,642
It's the cup final on Saturday.
519
00:37:09,753 --> 00:37:13,244
But, Dennis Simms,
you will not play on Saturday
520
00:37:13,651 --> 00:37:14,901
or any other day.
521
00:37:16,661 --> 00:37:18,931
You are no longer a pupil
at this school.
522
00:37:20,895 --> 00:37:22,863
Leave the premises at once.
523
00:37:45,324 --> 00:37:46,344
- Expelled?
524
00:37:47,462 --> 00:37:48,941
For wearing a dress?
525
00:37:50,395 --> 00:37:51,606
And a wig.
526
00:37:53,477 --> 00:37:55,485
Oh, and some earrings.
527
00:37:57,253 --> 00:37:59,276
I thought
I brought you up to be men
528
00:37:59,433 --> 00:38:01,347
and this is
how you pay me back?
529
00:38:02,082 --> 00:38:03,534
I've failed.
530
00:38:03,944 --> 00:38:07,191
I'll never wear a dress,
so you've only half failed.
531
00:38:09,979 --> 00:38:11,065
Why?
532
00:38:12,477 --> 00:38:14,409
I just want to know why.
533
00:38:15,994 --> 00:38:16,998
I guess...
534
00:38:18,339 --> 00:38:19,623
it made me happy.
535
00:38:25,441 --> 00:38:27,472
Go to your room
and do your homework.
536
00:38:27,473 --> 00:38:30,246
I've been expelled.
I haven't got any homework.
537
00:38:30,271 --> 00:38:31,879
Then just go to your room.
538
00:38:35,485 --> 00:38:37,453
You can check my cupboard,
if you like.
539
00:38:37,453 --> 00:38:39,457
Just jeans and hoodies and...
540
00:38:49,246 --> 00:38:51,217
He can't
talk to you now, Darvesh.
541
00:38:51,242 --> 00:38:53,755
Please, can you tell Dennis
he's still my friend?
542
00:38:53,780 --> 00:38:55,424
Your son always stuck up for me
543
00:38:55,425 --> 00:38:58,057
and it's very important he knows
that, whatever's happened,
544
00:38:58,082 --> 00:38:59,453
he'll always be my friend.
545
00:39:39,401 --> 00:39:42,143
Right, you're getting
home-schooled from now on.
546
00:39:42,168 --> 00:39:43,854
- But it's Saturday.
- I don't care.
547
00:39:43,879 --> 00:39:46,436
I've circled Deal Or No Deal.
That's your maths.
548
00:39:46,461 --> 00:39:48,420
Pointless, general knowledge.
549
00:39:48,421 --> 00:39:51,440
Antiques Roadshow, history,
and I want them all watched
550
00:39:51,441 --> 00:39:53,485
by the time I get
back from the depot, thank you.
551
00:40:01,250 --> 00:40:02,633
Oh, no.
552
00:40:02,728 --> 00:40:03,789
Peter!
553
00:40:04,967 --> 00:40:07,061
Can we please talk about Dennis?
554
00:40:07,086 --> 00:40:08,788
You've got between here
and the lorry.
555
00:40:08,813 --> 00:40:11,848
Dennis is...
He's such a special boy.
556
00:40:12,050 --> 00:40:14,057
I do hope you're not being
too hard on him.
557
00:40:14,082 --> 00:40:16,237
What if it was your son
who went to school in a dress?
558
00:40:16,300 --> 00:40:20,456
Oh, I don't think Darvesh
would go to school in a dress.
559
00:40:20,481 --> 00:40:22,464
He'd probably wear a salwar kameez.
560
00:40:22,465 --> 00:40:24,452
Yeah, all right, a salwar kameez!
561
00:40:24,453 --> 00:40:26,710
Well, you know, I'd...
562
00:40:27,289 --> 00:40:28,796
Well, I'd...
563
00:40:29,006 --> 00:40:31,370
See! You wouldn't like it either.
564
00:40:31,485 --> 00:40:33,448
Peter, please, listen!
565
00:40:33,449 --> 00:40:35,472
No, you listen to me for once!
566
00:40:35,473 --> 00:40:38,480
All right, these are my boys
and I'll bring them up my way.
567
00:40:38,481 --> 00:40:41,420
And I don't need your stupid
scatter cushions
568
00:40:41,421 --> 00:40:43,444
and I certainly don't need
your advice.
569
00:40:43,469 --> 00:40:45,866
But you love your son
whatever he does.
570
00:40:48,108 --> 00:40:49,336
Don't you?
571
00:41:09,425 --> 00:41:12,473
The Under-16s School Cup Final
will kick off in 15 minutes.
572
00:41:12,473 --> 00:41:14,429
15 minutes to kick off.
573
00:41:15,445 --> 00:41:18,489
If they're under 16
then I'm Angelina blooming Jolie.
574
00:41:31,425 --> 00:41:33,456
Mr. Hawthorn,
I need to talk to you about Dennis.
575
00:41:33,457 --> 00:41:35,480
Lisa James,
I'm not interested in your pleading.
576
00:41:35,481 --> 00:41:39,880
- But, sir... - One more word
and I will expel you too.
577
00:41:42,485 --> 00:41:46,448
- So, here we are. Cup Final day.
578
00:41:46,449 --> 00:41:48,744
Yeah! Yes!
579
00:41:48,769 --> 00:41:52,698
All right. I want you all
to remember what got you here.
580
00:41:54,622 --> 00:41:55,771
Luck,
581
00:41:56,641 --> 00:41:59,000
and a lad in a frock
who got kicked out.
582
00:41:59,489 --> 00:42:04,031
Now, the other lot, they've won
the Cup the last three years
583
00:42:04,839 --> 00:42:07,011
and I'm going to be honest,
584
00:42:07,740 --> 00:42:09,222
they play dirty.
585
00:42:11,003 --> 00:42:15,184
They'll hack you down,
they'll elbow you in the face.
586
00:42:16,913 --> 00:42:19,805
I'm just glad it's you
and not me out there.
587
00:42:21,038 --> 00:42:23,045
But remember one thing,
588
00:42:23,070 --> 00:42:26,803
win or lose, you made it
to a Cup Final,
589
00:42:26,828 --> 00:42:29,823
which looks great on my CV.
590
00:42:29,967 --> 00:42:31,298
Now get out there.
591
00:42:31,323 --> 00:42:33,464
With their main weapons
knocked out of commission,
592
00:42:33,489 --> 00:42:36,417
the platoon now faced
a far superior enemy force.
593
00:42:36,994 --> 00:42:39,245
The odds seemed insurmountable.
594
00:42:53,051 --> 00:42:54,466
Hiya, gang!
595
00:42:54,701 --> 00:42:56,720
Got some bad news for you.
596
00:42:56,878 --> 00:42:59,557
The referee has sprained his ankle.
597
00:42:59,582 --> 00:43:02,096
Now, the stand-in referee's
cat's died
598
00:43:02,214 --> 00:43:04,197
and he's very upset.
Sad face.
599
00:43:04,222 --> 00:43:08,662
But the good news is you've got me!
Yay! Happy face!
600
00:43:08,878 --> 00:43:11,897
Now, I don't know if you know me.
I actually teach drama.
601
00:43:12,186 --> 00:43:15,177
To be honest with you, I don't
know a huge amount about football,
602
00:43:15,234 --> 00:43:19,293
but I've seen a couple of games
on TV and how hard can it be?
603
00:43:19,489 --> 00:43:22,860
Right. Heads or tails?
604
00:43:22,964 --> 00:43:24,262
Heads.
605
00:43:24,893 --> 00:43:26,527
Oh, heads it is!
606
00:43:27,490 --> 00:43:29,609
Elm Forest to serve!
607
00:43:30,269 --> 00:43:31,733
Oh, exciting!
608
00:43:32,043 --> 00:43:33,844
- Come on!
- Come on!
609
00:43:58,784 --> 00:44:00,751
We've got no chance without Dennis.
610
00:44:00,776 --> 00:44:02,776
Shut up. We don't need him.
611
00:44:04,858 --> 00:44:08,139
With no protection offered by
the inexperienced commander,
612
00:44:08,465 --> 00:44:12,440
the platoon was quickly crushed
by the superior firepower
613
00:44:12,441 --> 00:44:14,429
of a German panzer division.
614
00:44:22,908 --> 00:44:24,911
Red card!
615
00:44:24,936 --> 00:44:27,479
Now, that wasn't nice, was it?
616
00:44:27,897 --> 00:44:29,100
Say sorry.
617
00:44:29,374 --> 00:44:30,377
Sorry.
618
00:44:30,402 --> 00:44:34,371
Good boy. Now, deep breath.
619
00:44:34,697 --> 00:44:36,449
Let out the anger.
620
00:44:38,653 --> 00:44:39,685
Oh.
621
00:45:03,073 --> 00:45:06,581
It's a massacre.
You're the captain, do something.
622
00:45:07,481 --> 00:45:08,485
You're right.
623
00:45:11,495 --> 00:45:12,495
Sir...
624
00:45:12,948 --> 00:45:15,202
You boys
are bringing shame on us all.
625
00:45:15,227 --> 00:45:17,578
We need Dennis.
He's our best player.
626
00:45:17,603 --> 00:45:19,102
I will not have that
627
00:45:19,127 --> 00:45:21,170
cross-dressing miscreant
representing my school.
628
00:45:21,195 --> 00:45:22,946
But we need him!
629
00:45:22,971 --> 00:45:26,003
Get back out there
and play, Gareth Small.
630
00:45:29,686 --> 00:45:33,682
Without reinforcements,
defeat was imminent.
631
00:45:39,167 --> 00:45:40,174
Oh.
632
00:45:40,815 --> 00:45:42,874
And that's the game.
Well done, gang.
633
00:45:43,390 --> 00:45:45,649
It's half-time!
634
00:45:46,261 --> 00:45:48,284
Sorry. My mistake. Interval!
635
00:45:48,473 --> 00:45:50,783
The score is four points to nil.
636
00:45:50,876 --> 00:45:52,555
The troops were
on the verge of surrender,
637
00:45:52,580 --> 00:45:54,580
but, at the last minute,
a message arrived
638
00:45:54,605 --> 00:45:56,040
from the high command.
639
00:46:17,733 --> 00:46:19,729
Going to miss
the Bake Off at this rate.
640
00:46:48,304 --> 00:46:49,304
Oh!
641
00:46:50,268 --> 00:46:52,260
Darvesh, you look gorgeous!
642
00:47:03,003 --> 00:47:06,007
Dennis! Come on, Dennis!
643
00:47:10,900 --> 00:47:12,346
Go get them, girls.
644
00:47:14,151 --> 00:47:16,026
Small! Get over here!
645
00:47:20,317 --> 00:47:22,513
What on earth do you think
you're doing, boy?
646
00:47:22,538 --> 00:47:25,185
Sir, you expelled Dennis
for wearing a dress,
647
00:47:25,210 --> 00:47:27,164
but you can't expel us all.
648
00:48:00,309 --> 00:48:01,785
Are they wearing dresses?
649
00:48:08,965 --> 00:48:10,676
Look after these. Thank you.
650
00:48:55,272 --> 00:48:56,319
Peter!
651
00:48:57,122 --> 00:48:58,169
Peter!
652
00:48:58,326 --> 00:49:02,346
Oh! - Jaspreet.
- Oh, Peter!
653
00:49:02,494 --> 00:49:05,440
- I... - You have...
- I have... - You have to...
654
00:49:05,465 --> 00:49:07,452
I have been thinking
about what you said.
655
00:49:07,453 --> 00:49:09,480
You have to come with me.
656
00:49:09,481 --> 00:49:13,489
- What? Now? - Yes. Now!
Something wonderful's happened.
657
00:49:13,489 --> 00:49:14,840
Come on, John!
658
00:49:23,900 --> 00:49:25,263
Oh, here we go again.
659
00:49:27,234 --> 00:49:30,413
Peter, just look
at your beautiful son.
660
00:49:31,187 --> 00:49:32,749
Look at what he can do.
661
00:49:41,543 --> 00:49:42,598
Go on!
662
00:49:45,809 --> 00:49:46,809
Yes!
663
00:49:52,638 --> 00:49:53,673
4-4.
664
00:49:54,111 --> 00:49:55,474
Oh, the drama!
665
00:50:10,823 --> 00:50:12,851
Come on, Dennis.
Score one for me!
666
00:50:15,804 --> 00:50:17,673
Penalty! Penalty.
667
00:50:17,808 --> 00:50:18,808
- Penalty.
668
00:50:22,647 --> 00:50:24,225
Come on, Dennis.
669
00:50:24,250 --> 00:50:27,624
Come on, you can do it.
Come on, Dennis
670
00:50:29,388 --> 00:50:32,388
Hey.
- Dad, you came!
671
00:50:36,827 --> 00:50:38,523
Go get 'em, son.
672
00:50:42,677 --> 00:50:44,099
Good luck, Gareth.
673
00:50:44,124 --> 00:50:47,044
It's yours, mate,
if you're up to it.
674
00:51:38,370 --> 00:51:40,405
Oh, my word, it's Elm Forest!
675
00:51:54,050 --> 00:51:55,769
Did we win?
676
00:51:56,250 --> 00:51:57,394
We won?!
677
00:51:58,376 --> 00:52:02,359
Yes! Yes! I knew it!
678
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:05,320
I knew you could do it! Yeah!
679
00:52:09,208 --> 00:52:11,083
Somebody should sign that lad.
680
00:52:19,356 --> 00:52:21,153
This is my son.
681
00:52:23,575 --> 00:52:25,097
This is my boy.
682
00:52:25,999 --> 00:52:28,687
That's my brother, that is.
683
00:52:29,176 --> 00:52:30,570
And I love him...
684
00:52:32,934 --> 00:52:34,622
more than I can ever say.
685
00:52:37,877 --> 00:52:40,495
How did you get to be so good, son?
686
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:42,698
How did you get so ruddy good?
687
00:52:45,776 --> 00:52:46,828
How beautiful.
688
00:52:48,669 --> 00:52:52,231
Not you, boy.
You're not an Elm Forest pupil.
689
00:52:53,179 --> 00:52:54,198
But I thought...
690
00:52:54,223 --> 00:52:55,933
Well, you thought wrong.
691
00:52:55,968 --> 00:52:57,731
Now get off the
pitch this instant.
692
00:52:57,756 --> 00:52:58,756
Hey,
693
00:52:59,927 --> 00:53:02,583
you wouldn't have that cup
if it wasn't for my Dennis.
694
00:53:03,337 --> 00:53:04,337
Your son,
695
00:53:05,143 --> 00:53:08,572
came to school, wearing a dress.
696
00:53:10,376 --> 00:53:12,340
He is an appalling specimen.
697
00:53:21,933 --> 00:53:23,905
I couldn't be prouder of him.
698
00:53:25,234 --> 00:53:26,286
We all are.
699
00:53:28,332 --> 00:53:30,566
Come on, love, let's go home.
700
00:53:54,222 --> 00:53:55,871
Have you found a new school yet?
701
00:53:55,896 --> 00:53:58,957
Not yet. I'm going to miss you.
702
00:53:59,729 --> 00:54:01,303
I'm going to miss you too.
703
00:54:03,364 --> 00:54:07,676
Come on, the new Vogue's out today.
I'll buy you one as a present.
704
00:54:11,300 --> 00:54:13,375
Aha, my favourite customers!
705
00:54:13,376 --> 00:54:16,516
A very merry Christmas to you both.
706
00:54:16,541 --> 00:54:18,588
Merry Christmas, Raj.
707
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:20,000
Dennis,
708
00:54:20,539 --> 00:54:23,712
I'm so sorry
to hear about your expulsion.
709
00:54:23,737 --> 00:54:27,222
- Thanks. - What is so wrong
with wearing a dress, huh?
710
00:54:27,565 --> 00:54:30,088
I often like to dress
entirely in red Lycra
711
00:54:30,113 --> 00:54:32,010
and pretend I'm on Strictly!
712
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:38,086
It's no biggie!
713
00:54:38,780 --> 00:54:41,807
Now, if only there was a way to
reason with your headmaster.
714
00:54:41,832 --> 00:54:46,151
- I've tried everything.
- Hmm. You could talk to his sister.
715
00:54:46,604 --> 00:54:48,635
- His sister?
- Yes.
716
00:54:49,090 --> 00:54:53,043
She comes here first thing every
Sunday morning to buy her newspaper.
717
00:54:53,472 --> 00:54:54,941
You could ask her to speak to him.
718
00:54:56,034 --> 00:54:57,597
I guess it's worth a try.
719
00:54:58,277 --> 00:55:03,280
Now, would you like to buy
some of my special ice cream soup?
720
00:55:03,857 --> 00:55:05,880
What's ice cream soup?
721
00:55:05,905 --> 00:55:09,884
Something I invented while waiting
for the freezer repair man to come.
722
00:55:09,909 --> 00:55:12,905
It also has oven chips
and fish fingers in it.
723
00:55:28,456 --> 00:55:29,933
This is silly.
724
00:55:30,336 --> 00:55:33,348
Who needs to go to
the shops this early?
725
00:55:40,246 --> 00:55:41,457
Think that's her?
726
00:55:42,460 --> 00:55:45,199
She could be his sister.
She's very tall.
727
00:55:45,551 --> 00:55:49,093
And she's got enormous feet.
728
00:55:51,380 --> 00:55:53,348
You don't think?
729
00:55:54,380 --> 00:55:56,364
Mr. Hawthorn!
730
00:55:57,794 --> 00:55:59,347
Do you mean my brother?
731
00:55:59,388 --> 00:56:04,332
Erm, he's at home dining on toast
and eggs this fine morning.
732
00:56:04,828 --> 00:56:06,473
It is you!
733
00:56:06,718 --> 00:56:09,257
Children, my name is
Harriet Hawthorn!
734
00:56:09,384 --> 00:56:12,320
Pleased to make your acquaintance.
- We know it's you.
735
00:56:14,042 --> 00:56:17,062
Oh, all right.
I'm Mr Hawthorn. What of it?
736
00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:19,924
You're in... You're in a dress.
737
00:56:21,015 --> 00:56:24,039
How dare you?!
This is a blouse and skirt ensemble.
738
00:56:24,064 --> 00:56:26,063
All right, a blouse and skirt!
739
00:56:26,088 --> 00:56:30,043
Listen, being a headmaster
is an extremely stressful job.
740
00:56:30,316 --> 00:56:34,383
If I want to relax in my time off
wearing clothes I find... comfortable,
741
00:56:34,384 --> 00:56:36,339
well, that's my business.
742
00:56:36,340 --> 00:56:38,376
I was comfortable in a dress
until you expelled me.
743
00:56:38,376 --> 00:56:41,367
Yes, but you were breaking a school
rule. It's completely different.
744
00:56:41,368 --> 00:56:46,363
Oh, yeah, I bet all the kids
at school will see it the same way,
745
00:56:46,364 --> 00:56:47,368
when we tell them.
746
00:56:49,043 --> 00:56:51,990
- Are you trying
to blackmail me? - No.
747
00:56:52,328 --> 00:56:55,372
- Er, yes.
- Sorry, yes.
748
00:56:57,066 --> 00:56:58,368
What do you want?
749
00:57:11,364 --> 00:57:14,352
Dennis Simms.
What do you think you're doing here?
750
00:57:15,372 --> 00:57:19,886
Look at this. It's a monstrosity.
751
00:57:19,911 --> 00:57:21,786
It's still school uniform.
752
00:57:21,811 --> 00:57:23,700
I just gave it a little re-edit.
753
00:57:23,725 --> 00:57:27,069
In all my years,
I've never seen anything quite...
754
00:57:27,094 --> 00:57:31,265
So..., very creative. Please.
755
00:57:39,579 --> 00:57:40,759
What?
756
00:57:45,529 --> 00:57:48,787
That's a very pretty frock you're
wearing today, Miss Price.
757
00:57:48,812 --> 00:57:49,812
Oh,
758
00:57:51,834 --> 00:57:53,083
thank you.
759
00:57:55,047 --> 00:57:59,047
It's, er, just from the shop
on the high street.
760
00:58:02,340 --> 00:58:05,645
Do they stock it for the...
761
00:58:06,997 --> 00:58:08,442
larger lady?
762
00:58:16,938 --> 00:58:20,157
- You're back? - Yeah.
- What about Hawthorn?
763
00:58:20,340 --> 00:58:23,360
He, erm, came round
to my way of thinking.
764
00:58:25,300 --> 00:58:26,371
I'll see you later.
765
00:58:26,372 --> 00:58:28,801
Oh, right, good luck.
766
00:58:29,824 --> 00:58:32,770
- Miss?
- Oh. Oh, you're back.
767
00:58:33,185 --> 00:58:35,801
I'm sorry I said
you had a bad French accent.
768
00:58:35,826 --> 00:58:38,785
You've actually got the best
French accent out there,
769
00:58:38,810 --> 00:58:40,480
and that includes all
the ones in France.
770
00:58:40,505 --> 00:58:42,215
Oh, do you really think so?
771
00:58:42,240 --> 00:58:44,205
Merci beaucoup, Dennis.
(Thank you, Dennis.)
772
00:58:44,230 --> 00:58:47,233
I must say, you pulled off that
dress rather well.
773
00:58:47,258 --> 00:58:48,934
Tres a la mode.
(Very fashionable.)
774
00:58:48,959 --> 00:58:50,363
Thanks, Miss.
775
00:58:50,364 --> 00:58:54,323
I've, er, I've written
a play for the spring term
776
00:58:54,324 --> 00:58:56,817
and there's a perfect
part for you in it.
777
00:58:56,842 --> 00:58:58,335
It's called Joan of Arc.
778
00:58:58,336 --> 00:59:00,372
Can you guess
who I want you to play?
779
00:59:00,373 --> 00:59:03,610
- Joan? - Correctement!
(Correctly!) Yes!
780
00:59:03,635 --> 00:59:05,845
You see, she was a girl that
wore boys' clothes.
781
00:59:05,870 --> 00:59:09,833
So you would be a boy
dressed as a girl dressed as a boy.
782
00:59:09,858 --> 00:59:13,170
That would really make people think,
wouldn't it? - I suppose.
783
00:59:13,195 --> 00:59:16,123
Très bien. (Very well.)
It's all in French, by the way.
784
00:59:29,340 --> 00:59:30,352
- Hey.
785
00:59:33,336 --> 00:59:34,708
This is yours.
786
00:59:38,340 --> 00:59:39,372
I'm sorry.
787
00:59:41,238 --> 00:59:42,613
I miss her too.
788
00:59:48,967 --> 00:59:52,006
John, you're not going to eat
all that, yeah? - Why not?
789
00:59:52,031 --> 00:59:55,061
Well, because we've got guests
coming for our little Christmas party.
790
00:59:55,086 --> 00:59:57,726
- Who?
- Just some friends and, er,
791
00:59:58,995 --> 01:00:00,459
a lady friend.
792
01:00:06,590 --> 01:00:08,566
Happy Christmas!
793
01:00:09,145 --> 01:00:10,468
Happy Christmas to you, too.
794
01:00:14,372 --> 01:00:16,348
Aren't you
going to ask us in, then?
795
01:00:16,349 --> 01:00:19,045
Oh, of course, come in,
come in, come on. Through there.
796
01:00:19,070 --> 01:00:21,287
- Hi Darvesh. - All right?
- A surprise.
797
01:00:21,359 --> 01:00:22,359
Peter!
798
01:00:23,228 --> 01:00:25,037
You bad, bad boy!
799
01:00:25,368 --> 01:00:26,372
Eh?
800
01:00:28,649 --> 01:00:31,150
- Ooooh!
- Come on!
801
01:00:34,364 --> 01:00:37,324
- Wow! - Perfect, Peter.
- Yeah, don't start that.
802
01:00:37,325 --> 01:00:40,360
Peter, OK, I'm starving.
Got any mince pies?
803
01:00:40,360 --> 01:00:42,048
Put that down!
804
01:00:43,226 --> 01:00:44,735
- Merry Christmas!
805
01:00:53,631 --> 01:00:54,890
I'm Dennis.
806
01:00:55,608 --> 01:00:59,412
I live in an ordinary house,
in an ordinary street,
807
01:00:59,613 --> 01:01:01,601
in an ordinary town.
808
01:01:02,432 --> 01:01:06,705
I feel different.
But, then, doesn't everyone?
809
01:01:09,381 --> 01:01:11,416
Merry Christmas!
810
01:02:07,797 --> 01:02:09,013
The End
811
01:02:09,038 --> 01:02:11,000
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