All language subtitles for 07.05 Death & Taxes

Hey, man, you got a dollar?
You got a dollar, man?

See you later.

Higgins,
you have my word on it,

my absolute
solemn promise,

that the wine cellar
thermostat will be checked

and double-checked
and triple-checked

on a daily basis.

Twice daily will be
quite sufficient.

Will you stop worrying? You've been
going on this junket for five years now...

The annual meeting of poets, playwrights,
editors, essayists, and novelists

can hardly
be called a junket.

For five years now,
and not once

has there ever been a
serious problem at the estate.

Unless you consider the time
it nearly went up in flames.

The only thing that went up in flames
was Rick's vodka teriyaki sauce.

Only a man with your predilection
for Maui chips and beer

could refer to Rick's
inedible sauce as teriyaki.

I think it's a wonderful thing
you're doing for the lads,

taking them
on your trip to Maui.

And thereby relieving you of the
responsibility for their care.

I knew you would appreciate
the gesture.

Higgins, I am not going to
let you ruin my good mood.

Have a safe trip. And don't worry.
Everything will be fine here.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but
isn't this the week of your...

Don't! Don't!
Don't say it. No, please.

Don't say it.

You don't want to
miss your plane.

Good luck, Magnum.

Last chance, Thomas.
You coming with us or not?

I told you. I can't. Leave
the man alone, Orville.

While we're on Lanai, with
the whole island to ourselves,

he'll be in the wine cellar,
babysitting a thermostat.

The only thing
I'll be babysitting is my...

I can't say it.
Say what?

Never mind. I don't want to talk about it.

I'm telling you it's the
Fourth of July weekend.

He always gets like this. This has
nothing to do with the Fourth of July.

Wait a minute.

Isn't this the week of
your... Don't say it, please!

I just don't want to hear
it out loud. Hear what?

Good luck, Thomas.

Just don't let 'em
wear you down.

Thanks.

Tax audit!

There, I said it.

I once had
a paper route in Tidewater.

The Daily Sentinel.

It was my first regular job.
I made $12 a week

and a penny for every
delivered paper.

And I never got nervous
at income tax time

because I knew the IRS
always gave me my money back.

Reluctantly.

Sending in your 1040 form

has always been as much a part
of the American way of life

as hot dogs at the ballpark
on the Fourth of July.

Only now I found myself having
to file a lot more than a 1040,

I wasn't getting
my money back anymore,

and I hadn't been to the
ballpark on the Fourth since...

Well, since before
the paper route.

I told myself
not to feel persecuted.

I told myself that people who
get audited are chosen at random.

I told myself
it was nothing personal.

I knew it.
They're out to get me.

Thomas,
no one's out to get you.

I have to go through
my entire case file

to see if I can figure out which
client goes with which receipt.

They just want a proper accounting
of all your business expenses.

Yeah, well,
that could take days.

They're not paying me
for my time, you know.

Well, from what I can see,
no one else is, either.

It'll just take a few days,
at the most.

Well, just so we're through
by the Fourth.

That's all I care about.

Hello?
Is this Thomas Magnum?

Yes.

Then you should say so when you answer
your phone. It's more professional.

Uh, who is this?

I haven't been
christened yet.

I'm waiting
for the press to do that.

Look, I'm real busy here.

Not as busy
as you're going to be.

"Rub-a-dub-dub,
three men in a tub,

"And who do you
think they be?"

What was that about?

Somebody's idea of a joke.
Now, where were we?

We were discussing
your fiscal timetable.

And I'd like to know where
the dinner you owe me fits in.

Well, any time after
the weekend of the Fourth.

And any place
you wanna go.

Don't worry.
I'll be reasonable.

Hello?

You tried to kill Phillipe,

and then
he killed LaBoule,

one and the same,
he knew they were,

for Magnum is no fool.

Phillipe, come on!

I'll never make it. Go!

No!

What's the matter?

Cat got your tongue?

Who are you?
What do you want?

"Rub-a-dub-dub,

"three men in a tub,

"and who do you think
they be?"

Just say
what you gotta say!

"The butcher, the baker,

"the candlestick maker,

"Turn them out,

"knaves all three."

If this is some kind of game,
I'm not playing.

I guess you'd rather dip your
hands in the blood of a whore

by this time tomorrow.

Look, uh, why don't you
tell me where you are,

I'll call someone for you.

"Three men in a tub."

Find them
and you'll find me.

Tonight.

Thomas?

Excuse me a minute, Maggie.
I gotta make a phone call.

Welcome to the club, Magnum.

Wow, we get these kind
of calls all the time.

But thanks for reporting it.
We'll look into it.

Why did I come
all the way down here?

You could've ignored my report on the phone.

But then how would you
have signed it?

I mean, you didn't give
us a name, a location.

Just a nursery rhyme.

And the fact that
I heard pedicab bells.

That puts him in Waikiki
or downtown.

Now, I don't want to tell you
how to do your job, Lieutenant.

But that nursery rhyme,
it's a place to start.

Well, did he say anything
else? Anything at all?

Like "Bah, bah, black sheep,
Have you any wool?"

No.

Leave your name, number
and the time you called

and I'll get back as soon
as I can. Wait for the beep.

Maggie? Come on.
You there?

I hate these things,
they make me nervous.

Uh, hi Maggie.

Uh, I'm sorry
I had to leave today.

I'd like to start
an early, uh,

get an early start tomorrow.

Morning, early, thanks.

Fool.

Maggie.
I knew you were there.

Magnum,
Lieutenant Page.

I think you'd better
get down here, right away.

Thomas Magnum.
Lieutenant Page sent for me.

The victim's name
was Laura Stiles.

Coming through.

One of her coworkers
found her.

You didn't
check out my report.

Well, pardon my ignorance,

but what was I supposed to do
with your little nursery rhyme?

"Three men in a tub, the butcher,
the baker, the candlestick maker."

Thomas, maybe we should
do this another day.

No. We have to finish
by the Fourth.

They won't be much longer.
Okay?

We won't be any longer.
The taps are on the phone

and my men
are stationed close by.

Oh, by the way, Magnum,
you're absolutely sure

that this guy didn't say anything
else to you except the nursery rhyme?

Yeah, I'm sure.

Well, let's get
back to work.

I'll be right back.

Lieutenant?

Look,

sorry I've had kind of
a short fuse about all this.

Forget it, Magnum. I know
you had plans for this week.

What else?

Well, this may not be
important, but, uh,

Laura Stiles' killer didn't
exactly pick my name out of a hat.

She was a client of mine.
A client?

Yeah, I don't know how this guy knew
about it or why he was calling me, but...

What else are you
holding back on me?

I'll never make it. Go!

No!

There's no connection.
There couldn't be.

I can't force you
to tell me about it,

I'm gonna leave that
up to you.

Now, look, you got
the reputation of a guy

who likes to do things
on his own.

Well, stick by the phone
on this one, dude.

It's the only thing we got.

Mr. Magnum?

Oh, I'm press, I'm press.

Jeff Spangler,
International Image!

You know, I wouldn't make
a habit of sneaking in here.

There's usually
a couple of dogs around,

and they take a real
exception to trespassers.

Oh, now, wait a second. I just
want to ask you a few questions.

Why? We haven't had
any alien abductions

or voices from the grave, at
least none that I can think of.

No, but you have
had a murder

and you knew about it
in advance.

And the reason
you knew about it

is because the killer told
you it was going to happen.

Out.

I'm right, and you know it.
I'm not gonna talk to you.

Tell me about
The Ripper's nursery rhyme.

That's what I'll be
calling him in my story.

You can tell him that
when he calls again.

What makes you think
I'll ever talk to him again?

Thank you.
You've just confirmed

that you did talk to him
at least once.

I don't know how you know
what you think you know,

but I happen to know
a certain police lieutenant

who'd go to great lengths
to find out.

I haven't worried about the cops
since I read the First Amendment.

Don't wrap yourself
in the Bill of Rights with me.

I know what you're doing.

You're trying to keep the
truth from the American public.

Hey, hey, hold it!
Who the hell are you?

Jeff Spangler,
International Image.

Uh, yeah, well I'm afraid I'm
gonna have to see some sort of ID.

Yeah, hey, come on.
Hit me. Hit me again.

Uh, thank you very much,
Mr. Spangler.

Congratulations. You guys
are really on the ball.

Hello?

Hello, is anybody there?

You won't hang up, Magnum.
I know you better than that.

Do that again

and I'll never let you
catch me.

I guess you don't know me
as well as you think you do.

Maybe not.

But I do value
your opinion.

You're the best there is.

What makes you say that?

Once upon a time,

another Laura and the wine,

you found the truth
for all to see,

a simple case
of infidelity.

What?
Great "A", little "A",

bouncing "B",

the cat's in the cupboard,

and she can't see.

Go on.

I know exactly how long it
takes to trace a call, Magnum,

and you're short by

10 seconds.

Did you get that, guys?

I know what you're
thinking, and you're right.

That little nursery rhyme could
have described any number of places.

So why pick this one?

Because I'd been here before.

And just like the corner
where Laura Stiles was killed,

I'd been here on a case.

One more time, Magnum,

"Great 'A', little 'A's"
Analupa and Son.

"Bouncing 'B"'
is Bart's there.

And "the cupboard" is?

"The cupboard" is the alley.

"The cat," that's our killer,
will come from the alley.

"She won't see him" means
the victim won't see him.

And you figured this
all out by yourself.

Experience, Lieutenant. And
cold hard investigative logic.

Hey!

I'm press, I'm press,

Jeff Spangler,
International Image.

Okay, Lieutenant,

let's start with names
and badge numbers.

I have every intention of
swearing out a brutality complaint.

Will you just calm down,
Mr. Spangler? I am gonna take

you and your men to court.

You don't have to let him
talk to you like this.

Why the hell don't you
just stay out of this?

You and your men
moved in too soon.

I will sue the entire state if I
have to. I'll tell you what I want.

I want to know how you happen to be
in the right place at the wrong time.

Sources, that's how.

Magnum, that's enough.
Sources.

You know where I'll be, Page. By the phone.

Shut up.

He tried to kill Phillipe...

I'll never make it. Go!

No!

And then he killed LaBoule.

As you can see, I survived.

One and the same
he knew them to be.

This isn't Nam.

No.

Why didn't you
come back for me?

Magnum is no fool.

Bravo,
Magnum, bravo!

Your performance last night
was magnificent.

I was watching
the whole wonderful show.

You go to
Bart's Tavern a lot?

You're sounding
bored, Magnum.

And I know why.

Keystone Kops won't let you
play my game by yourself.

Why don't we play
a different game.

We are.

"Girls and boys
come out to play

"The moon doth shine
as bright as day

"Come with a whoop
come with a call

"Come with a good will

"or don't come at all."

"Girls and boys
come out to play,

"the moon doth shine
as bright as day"

"Doth shine"

It's only the pizza man.
Who eats pizza for breakfast?

It's open, Kana.

Small pepperoni, Magnum.
Comes to $5.95.

Well, here's $100.

Keep the change.
Say what?

All right, Magnum!

I'm here.

The true hero.

So dedicated to rescuing
all the innocent prostitutes

from the villain's knife.

Why is that, Magnum?

Why is the villain
so dedicated to killing them?

Because they're whores.

All of them.

Liars, cheaters, thieves.

What do you want from me?

Don't you know?

You're supposed to catch me.

You're supposed to stop me

from slicing up number two
and number three.

Well, you blew it.

Number two was supposed
to be last night.

No, no, no, no, no,
Magnum, you blew it.

Number two was last night.

What are you talking about?

And I really think you're
going to love number three.

Riddle me this.

What has four legs
in the morning

and two legs
in the afternoon,

and three legs
in the evening?

I've heard this.

A man.

The answer's a man.

I was watching
your whole wonderful show.

Once upon a time,
another Laura, and the wine.

Because they're whores,
all of them.

And I really think you're
going to love number three.

A man.

Page.
Page, this is Magnum.

Where the hell
are you, Magnum?

Never mind where I am. You
gotta find Jeff Spangler.

I think
he's our next victim.

Oh? Why would he
go after Spangler?

All his victims
have been women.

But the answer
to the riddle is a man.

What riddle?

Four legs in the morning,
that's a baby,

two in the afternoon
is an adult,

and three in the evening,
that's an old man with a cane.

He's trying to tell us
the next victim is a man.

You haven't answered my
question. Why Spangler?

I'm not sure
of all the reasons.

I guess this guy admires me.

Maybe he wants my approval.

He knows
I don't like the guy.

Whatever his reason...

Maybe Spangler wants you to
think Spangler's the next victim.

Lieutenant...

Let me read you something.

There's no time! It's a
police psychiatrist's report.

"In cases where the multiple
killer contacts the authorities

"and provides them
with elaborate clues,

"the subject is often
classified as an A-type achiever,

"with high motivation,
crippled by low self-esteem.

"More than anything, the subject
needs recognition for his achievements,

"for without it, his own
deep feelings of inadequacy

"are confirmed."

Now doesn't that
sound like Spangler?

No. Well, I've got an APB out on him.

He's not the killer.

Well, that's exactly
what he wants you to think.

Now, if you want to help
with this investigation,

just follow orders and leave the
thinking to us. Thank you, bye-bye.

What has four
legs in the morning,

and two legs in the afternoon

and three legs
in the evening?

At the Kapiolani Park War
Memorial Swimming Pool 1982.

Four legs in the morning, the
four individual heats I'd entered.

Two legs in the afternoon,
two legs of a medley relay,

the prelim and the final.

But the event I hadn't counted on
was the three legs in the evening.

The freestyle relay
I took over

when one of our teammates
pulled a muscle.

Four legs in the morning,
two legs in the afternoon,

three legs in the evening.

I couldn't move
for a week after that.

Although The Ripper called
for our clandestine meeting,

he has yet to show himself.

You found me.

I knew you'd find me.

Why don't you
put that knife down.

That's not part of the plan.

What is?

It's me.

Surprised?

I don't know you.

Don't play games
with me, Magnum.

Of course you do.

No, I don't.

I really don't.

You have to.

Well, I'm sorry.

I just can't remember every
single face I come across.

Some of them

just aren't that memorable.

You have to remember.

You did me a favor.

Now I'm doing you one.

I'm helping you
get rid of all the scum.

I'm doing this for you.

No, you're doing this
for yourself.

You just wanna
get your face in the paper.

Then people will remember you,
won't they?

Then you won't be
a nobody anymore.

Don't make me hurt you,
too, Magnum.

Why don't you
come here and try.

Now, you better shut up now,
or I will.

Then you can put my picture
up in your room,

paint the face all red.

You broke into my room!

Oh, I get it.

I see what
you're trying to do.

You're trying to save him.

Well, it won't work.

Don't make me shoot you.

You can't win, Magnum.

If you don't shoot me,

he dies,

and I win.

If you do shoot me,

I still win.

Don't do it.

How did you know
about LaBoule?

"A wise old owl
lived in an oak

"The more he saw
the less he spoke

"The less he spoke
the more he heard

"Why can't we all be
like that wise old bird?"

One shot.
You got him with one shot.

This is it.

This is my ticket.
My move to a real paper.

My own byline, maybe.

It's goodbye, Atlanta,
hello, Hawaii.

Just do me one favor,
Spangler.

You saved my life.
Name it.

Don't mention my name.

You've got my word on it,
Magnum.

Milton Collins.

Even after I heard his name,
I still couldn't remember him.

I didn't have a record of him
in my case file.

But something did show up
in my appointment book.

I'd had a meeting at the club
one day with a Milton Collins

who wanted to know if his
wife was cheating on him.

I only had to tail her
once to find out

the guy he thought
she was seeing

was only painting a portrait
of her for their anniversary.

It was so easy I couldn't
even take his money.

That must have been the favor
he thought I had done for him.

And then I forgot
all about Milton Collins.

I guess he felt
a lot of people did.

And maybe he felt he had
to do something about that.

I don't know.

I guess that's what
bothered me most,

I'd never know why.
Why he killed.

How he knew about Phillipe.

Maggie found out that he was stationed in Nam

at the same time I was, but
so were a lot of other guys.

I guess he was right.

At least in his mind,
he did still win.

He died with all the secrets.

It wasn't the first time
I'd had to accept

that sometimes
there were no answers.

I don't know why
I started feeling the need

to be by myself
on the Fourth of July

the day my dad died.

Or why I still feel
the need to this day.

I just do.