Original subtitles

Huh?

Here we go.

Sea monster off our bow.

Take the wheel, Captain Dad.

Nah, you got this, Lana. Besides, I got my hands full.

Hey, what’s in this, Dr. Chopov?

Nothing yet.

Order up, Helmet Hugo.

I remember the drill.

A little musical accompaniment, Greta.

Hey, you attacked us!

And that tentacle will grow back, you big baby.

Aha.

Ha!

Wow, we’ve gotten good at questing.

No wonder we’re crushing it on the leaderboard.

It’s like nothing can go wrong for us now.

Lana Longbeard shall lament the day she usurped

the heroic Horatius Hoffenstance.

So much lamenting.

Oh, Horatius.

Maybe try questing instead of ruminating

over being number two.

Also, do something about your hair.

It’s upsetting.

Admiral Lovejoy was right.

It was time for my ultimate quest payback.

Thanks to Lana, I knew the Titans still existed.

And they wanted their stuff back that I possessed,

which I would trade

for the Titans to use their power

to restore me to the top of the leaderboard forever!

Set sail for the Island of Titans.

But Cap’n,

legend says that’s beyond the Mist of Mistrust.

Then I trust you’d better get me there.

But as the journey went on,

I strangely began to mistrust my crew

and decided to continue alone.

To forge my destiny!

Did you make any sense of that?

Maybe he wants to join our Game of Fates.

He did bring back all of our pieces.

Yes! How delightful, Sister.

I’ll prepare the contraption.

Wait! I’m here to make a trade.

Once again, we can play with the fates of the Ten Realms.

Uh...

do you remember what the rules are?

Uh, vaguely.

We’ve been making them up since we were Toddler Titans.

We roll the dice,

pick a card,

spin this little guy,

and watch as we reset the Realms for funsies.

Ah, pretty tricky, Sis.

Looks like the Realms are in for a bit of war.

Huh?

Huh?

We’ll be fine, as long as we stick together, okay?

Whoa.

Pinch me. I’m dreaming.

Happy 12th birthday, Lana.

But I turned 12 months ago, Grammy.

Besides,

I should be questing with my dad right now.

Happy, uh, being 12.

- Huh? - Now get on board.

You got a lot to learn before we go conquer the Ten Realms

for Longbeard glory!

Again, I’ve been 12 for a while now.

And I joined the Guild to explore, not conquer, Dad.

You can explore all you want

after we sink every ship in the Guild.

Dr. Chops, you gotta help.

Everyone’s gone bananas except me!

Doctor? I’m the opposite of that.

Like a doctor who lost their license

for getting to choppy.

That’s me, Choppy Chopov.

Together, we are Warriors of Andar!

Uh, cool.

So, anyone see Boreas?

He’s gotta see some sense.

Boreas?

Whatever you do, don’t say his name thrice.

- Whose name? - Boreas the Merciless?

Oops. Just said it.

Everyone on lookout for a sneak attack.

Ugh.

There must be someone in the Realms

who knows this reality ain’t right.

Psst.

Huh?

Helmut Hugo?

What are you doing up there

when you’re also down there?

It’s me, Horatius.

And I may have made a teeny whoopsie

trying to make a deal with the Titans.

What? Why would you do that?

Long story. No time.

Just rescue me before they throw the Realms into chaos.

Too late. Already happening. And why would I help you?

Because everyone has their nature.

I’m a lovable rogue

and you’re a natural born helper.

So help! The Realms are counting on you.

No, no, no, no.

No guilting me into cleaning up your mess.

Just destroy the Dice of Destiny yourself!

Oh, somebody knows a thing or two about the Game of Fates.

I may have rolled it once. Or twice.

Ha.

Wait. That’s why you and I are the only ones

who know what’s going on.

All the more reason for you to help me defeat them for me.

Oh, fishsticks.

Captain Hiromu, Durango, Sorlak, and...

BoBo?

Why are you on the Golden Goose?

Because it’s my ship.

And I demand to be called Glorious Boreas.

This reality is getting weirder and weirder.

All hail Empress Lovejoy!

All hail Empress Lovejoy!

Hail accepted.

Now battle!

Last ship floating stays in the Guild!

Wait! What is the point of a guild

if we battle each other to the end?

For our entertainment, duh.

Well, I guess some folks never change.

All right.

- Huh? - That’s enough.

If you won’t listen to words,

maybe you’ll listen to a song that I’m making up on the spot.

So no notes.

No. Never stop a Longbeard from making a fool of themself.

♪ Well, I remember you ♪

♪ Though you don’t remember me ♪

♪ So let me tell all you This ain’t reality ♪

♪ We’ve sailed high and low Fighting monsters and foes ♪

♪ To save the Ten Realms Why? Because we’re heroes ♪

♪ Now we can do that again ♪

♪ ’Cause questing Is our passion ♪

♪ And don’t that sound Better than ♪

♪ Mutually-assured Destruction? ♪

I am leaking oil. Am I defective?

No. It’s our hearts that are defective.

Listen to my daughter.

Why is nothing happening?

I’m bored!

You probably didn’t spin the human hard enough.

My turn!

Oh.

Not again. I can’t keep starting over like this.

Happy 12th birthday, Lana.

Thanks, but no time. I gotta prepare for something big.

Yup. By big, I meant Titans.

First, I’d have to try a crazy strategy

I’ve never done before:

Making a plan with steps.

Number one, chart the way to the Titans.

Number two, learn science to avoid the Mist of Mistrust.

Number three, train to not go berserker

while the Titans keep resetting reality,

which they were doing a lot.

One minute, it’s non-stop party time.

Then a pimple pandemic.

And worst of all, giant Gwarts!

But they couldn’t reset my mind,

which was growing as big as Bo’s.

Bo... I miss Bo.

But this time, I’m ready.

Happy 12th birthday, Lana.

Be right back after I destroy the Game of Fates.

Good girl. The Titans will never see us coming.

Unless they roll another reset and we gotta redo this.

Go, go, go!

Did you just destroy the dice that you already lost for eons?

You’re the one who dropped it!

-What took you so long? -Shh.

Oh, the intruder has invited friends.

All the more to play with.

Ow!

No!

No!

It looks like we’ve got a new addition

to our game, Brother Gargantamog.