Original subtitles

Hmm.

Looking for this,

my barnacle bud?

You read my mind, old pal of mine.

Hey, Admiral Lovejoy. Heard of any cool quests lately?

An admiral knows all the cool quests.

I've got the perfect one for your daughter and cabin orc.

They make an impressive team.

Uh, is she talking about us?

Well, I am a cabin orc and you are a daughter.

Impressive team at your service.

Oh, too close.

Your mission is to restore peace

in a village about to tear itself apart.

Hey, fun. I'll hammer some sense into them. Vamoose!

No, this one's a Lana and Boreas exclusive.

The rest of you need some serious team building.

Also, is your metal man sinking?

Dream team solo quest!

Uh, we can stop here, Dad.

Why? Embarrassed about your old man dropping you off?

Yes.

Besides, my Viking blood will keep me warm.

I've got the perfect peace plan. Reverse psychology.

We make the villagers think that we think

that they'll never get along

so they'll prove us wrong by actually--

Don't overthink it when we can just wing it.

We got this, Bo-Bo.

Thank you for coming all the way to our humble village.

Welcome to the greatest town in the tundra.

It's the only town, Hulda.

And that is not our official greeting.

Well, it's better than yours, Alwind.

Okay, new plan.

We make them swap shoes and walk a mile in them

until they see common ground.

Greetings, Hulda. Greetings, Alwind.

I'm sure Bo and I can help you be friends like us.

Welcome, children of the sea,

on this journey of unity.

Hey, aren't you that evil ogre that terrorizes villagers?

"Was" that evil ogre.

Now I am become Jeff,

builder of teams.

Okiedokes. Let's go around the trust circle

and say one nice thing about each other,

starting on my strum.

Psst. Half the villagers hate round houses,

so maybe we should try a trust trapezoid.

Or is that too square-adjacent?

Those colors really suit your personality.

Like a rainbow exploded. Boom.

And thank you for bringing frozen mushrooms

to village pizza night.

Cause that's what you need in the snow:

Cold pizza.

I like cold pizza.

You like everything, Yarn.

Pick a side. Yarn.

Time-out! Okay, let me show you.

Bo, I love how passionate you are about learning.

Now you go.

Sure. Um...

Your singing is great

at making gwarts flee the ship.

Thank you. Wait, are you making fun of me?

Your compliment is hurting my brain.

Just like your riddles.

Well, here's one.

What's pig-headed and pink all over?

Hmm?

Is it Lana Longbeard?

Zip it, Yarn. Nobody asked you, Yarn.

Um, is this still part of the exercise?

Yeah, except Bo's doing it wrong.

You need to follow my lead.

Or mine. I've got a 42-step peace plan,

which is 42 more than Lana.

I like cold pizza.

Our first team building exercise is trust falls.

Simply release yourself into your partner's arms.

Oh, watch where you're falling, Captain.

You're supposed to catch him, strange metal man.

Try again.

So, what about, you know, establishing peace?

No peace until the enemy apologizes.

So what do y'all do for fun?

Well, normally, tonight,

we'd all make pizza from scratch and argue over toppings,

like olives, sweet corn, pineapple.

Pineapple? Weird, but doesn't matter.

Hoard the stores, my peeps,

for pizza night shall be ours alone.

Um, how? And also, aren't I the leader of these peeps?

Yes, so dig into enemy territory!

And that's when the great pizza war began.

Over toppings.

What was considered pizza-worthy and who got what.

Pizzas were sliced in horrific ways,

just like our community was torn asunder,

led by two strangers who seemed friendly at first,

but then yelled for no surrender.

Ow!

What's happening?

Emergency protocol. We need to cool Lana down.

She's going berserker.

Lucky, the great snowball battle was delayed

on account of Lana evaporating all the snow.

But just like the steady drum beat of war,

I, Yarn, knew that the dawn would bring more drama.

So, hey, can we go home now? Yarn's got the sleepies.

The sleepies, Yarn?

You're thinking about sleep right now, Yarn?

Don't you get what we're fighting for, Yarn?

We're fighting for our way of life.

Our right to wear flashy clothes!

For square houses your furniture fits into just right!

To stop ex-besties making snarky comments for no reason.

For true friends to listen to you,

even if they don't like it.

At dawn, everything changes.

Seriously, just catch him. Like this.

Fine! You're united in failing.

Now leave my peaceful haven!

Let this battle decide who gets to decide stuff.

Well, I decide...

Attack!

Huh?

Uh, the time for trust circles is over.

Here's one thing we agree on.

You two are the worst mediators in the Ten Realms.

You're staying here while we have our pizza party.

What? But you're the ones

who've been arguing this whole time.

What are you even so mad about?

Well, now that I think back,

I'm still mad that Alwind stood me up

at the ice rink all those years ago.

Ice rink?

But I was waiting at Rice Inc.,

your favorite restaurant.

You mean, all this time wasted,

when we could've been together?

-Having pizza. -With pineapple?

I hate pineapple. But I'll change for you.

Let's have some now!

-Lukewarm? -You know it.

Ah, quest accomplished.

Huh? What do you mean?

Now that we're united as a crew,

let's show off to Lana and Boreas.

So that's why I made fun of your singing:

To start a fake war

to show everyone how ridiculous fighting is

and make them unite against us.

So you riled me up on purpose.

Why didn't you just tell me your plan?

Um, cause when I told you my plans, you shut me down.

'Cause they're too complicated. They never work, unlike mine.

But you never plan. You just wing it,

which only works 'cause I'm here to add more steps.

Which I simplify so you don't trip up on all your own ideas.

No, we need to work together.

Yes, 'cause we make a great team, remember?

I think we agree. Even though we're yelling at each other.

Okay, how about we figure out how to get out of here together?

You, overthinker.

You got it. Any ideas, hothead?

Ha! Well, we can't go out, but we can go under.

Let's dig a scramming hole.

Orcs dig best,

but you can distract Yarn with your soothing pipes.

♪ Oh, for Yarn ♪

♪ Anything goes It goes, it goes ♪

♪ He's not the one To turn up his nose ♪

♪ His nose ♪

♪ The only thing Makes Yarn morose ♪

♪ Is seeing that friends Have turned to foes ♪

♪ Now the fighting's close ♪

♪ It's time for Yarn's repose ♪

Quest complete! Let's go!

Uh, is that a mob of angry villagers running towards us?

Yeah, but it's a mob of united angry villagers. Am I right?

Now go, go, go!

And so the great Pizza War ended,

leaving us with tomato sauce stains and peace.

Which is really hard to wash out.

Tomato sauce, not peace.

Which we hope stays, unlike those two warmongers.

Hmm, wonder what they're up to now.

Let's toast to a united team.

What?