Original subtitles

Well, I'm not kind to kiss and tell, but I've been seen with Farrah.

I've never been with anything less than a nine, so fine.

I've been on fire with Sally Field, gone fast with a girl named Bo.

But somehow they just don't end up as mine.

It's a death defying life I lead.

I take my chances.

I die for living in the movies and TV.

But the hardest thing I ever do is watch my leading

ladies kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging my knee.

I might fall from a tall building.

I might roll a brand new car.

Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that made Redfoot such a star.

I've never spent much time in school, but I've taught ladies plenty.

It's true, I hire my body out from bay.

I've gotten burned over Cheryl Teague's blowin' up for Rockin' Welch.

But when I wind up in the hay, it's only hay.

I might jump an open drawbridge or Tarzan from a vine.

Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that makes Eastwood look so fine.

Listen, can't we talk about this?

Ivy, I don't have time to argue.

If I don't leave now, everything I've built will be destroyed.

Built?

Stolen would be more appropriate.

You're not involved, Ivy.

But we were together for six years.

You can't just leave.

You don't fit into the plans.

Once I'm in that air, I'm leaving everything behind, including you.

Give her the keys to the car.

She can have it.

I won't need it.

If you have a brain in your head, you'll take the car.

And forget the last six years ever happened.

Okay, Mr. Vestman.

The computer's all hooked up for you now.

A legal entry.

Robert Vestman's office.

Silent alarm trigger.

Code six.

Mr. Vestman, someone's on the computer.

It's flashing.

Would you step away from that computer?

A lady, if you don't stop, I'm gonna have to use force.

Ivy, she's changed the account numbers.

That's it.

You're under arrest.

Okay, officer.

I didn't get finished, but I got far enough.

The money.

You can get the money.

Not without access to her account numbers.

But I can change the key code.

And she can't get the money either.

Joseph.

When we land, you're gonna take a short trip back to the United States and get Ivy.

She has the account numbers.

Only I've got the key code.

Mexican standoff.

300 million dollars in limbo.

That's why I don't want anything to happen to her.

At least not for now.

You know, Colt and I worked that stunt out together.

We plan all of our stunts together, even if we're not both in them.

Hey, kid, can I see you a minute?

Oh, sure.

Excuse me, Courtney.

Well, this picture's almost over.

When are you gonna ask her out?

Well, she's special.

You can't rush a woman like Courtney.

Rushing is one thing, but sitting on the bench the whole game, that's another.

I think it's time that we get up off the bench.

Would you like to sit someplace else?

No.

I mean, it's time that we get into the game.

Not a game.

I'd like to spend more time with you than just lunch.

How about dinner?

Great.

And all these lunches will make dinner seem really special.

And a whole lot of dinners will make the next step more meaningful.

What step is that?

Breakfast.

Do you believe in snacking between meals?

Hello, Ivy.

Mr. Vestman wanted to express his sincere apologies for treating you rather rudely.

He misses you.

You've got it all wrong, Joseph.

It's not me that he misses.

It's his money.

He wants to talk to you about that.

On his island.

I bet he does.

Okay, take off.

Scream and I'll break it at the shoulder.

Where are you taking me?

On your canceled flight.

Bestman's down there, isn't he?

Waiting, with open arms.

I'll bet he is.

I know exactly why I'm here.

You should give yourself more credit now.

You know I always loved you.

Ivy, you're the only woman I've ever spent more than a weekend with.

You know that's true.

The truth is, I changed the account numbers.

And you don't have a penny.

What do you want, money?

I honestly haven't thought about it.

It's almost enough to know that you can't have it.

Sorry, kid.

The television broke.

Hi, Colt.

Have I got a deal for you.

Well, hi, Terry, and you always do.

Ivy Norris, executive secretary, breaking and entering.

Nice, huh?

Best thing about it, she's in French Polynesia.

She's interesting, but what's she doing there?

She was Robert Vestman's secretary and mistress for the last six years.

Apparently, things went bad.

Word has it that she's been kidnapped and is

being kept on this private island near Tahiti.

Yeah, I can believe that.

I lost my $1,500 retirement fund to that creep.

He stole millions and left the country.

Yeah, wait a minute.

I hope you're not expecting me to bring Vestman

back when our own government couldn't do it.

Do you imagine the security that guy must have around him?

Colt!

Colt, I'm not asking you to bring Vestman back.

I just want a secretary.

And there's a plus.

You see, an insurance company has offered a $250,000 reward.

$250,000?

It's possible she can help return the money.

She may have a set of the computer numbers.

If she does, you get the reward.

All of it?

Well, no, half of it.

We split it 50-50.

Well, what do you know about Vestman?

What do you got on him?

Ah, my research says that he has three weaknesses.

Beautiful women...

Jody, how would you like to go to Tahiti?

I'll have to get a new sarong.

Fine art and gambling.

Kid, didn't you study art somewhere?

Yeah, at the Sorbonne in Paris.

But I'd really rather not go, Colt.

Kid, I mean, if I go, I'll need you.

Who else knows more about beautiful women?

Gambling and fine art.

I see what you mean.

Well, how long would we have to be gone?

Enough games.

What are your terms?

Games.

The last six years have been games.

This is real life.

I want half.

You want $150 million?

Hmm.

It has a nice ring to it.

Don't you find that rather steep for palimony?

Not when you consider the power.

I've never seen you plan an operation so thoroughly, Colt.

Well, if Esmond's not your ordinary billionaire

kid, he's gonna need a lot of convincing.

We're gonna hit him where he lives.

Women, gambling, and fine art.

Okay, there it is.

Pleasure Isle.

Okay, disable us.

Mayday.

Mayday.

Mayday.

We got engine trouble.

Request permission to land.

Negative.

Permission denied.

Negative.

Negative.

Permission denied.

Don't worry, Jody.

Colt's right.

No matter how private an airstrip is, no one can turn away a plane in distress.

There's almost no one.

Mr. Vestman, there are three of them.

Colt Seavers, Stuntman, Howie Munson, Art Director, and Jody Banks.

I guess you're some kind of movie starlet, and I mean some kind.

Make sure that they really had engine trouble, all right?

I've got to be sure that they're not some more bounty hunters looking for me.

I don't think so, sir.

It's a film company.

Movie location.

And a part did blow.

We can get a spare here in a few days.

All right.

Bring them in.

I take it that wasn't Mr. Ork.

And this ain't no fantasy.

I've decided to agree to your terms.

I'll give you half of everything I have.

You must be kidding.

I'm not giving you any numbers while I'm being held here prisoner.

Look, let me out of here.

Somewhere where I can feel safe.

All right.

Go back to the bungalow and pack.

I'll make the necessary arrangements.

You're letting her go?

Send a plane to the mainland for Dr. Mason.

Tell him to bring sodium pentothal.

Truth, sir?

And have Mano guard her.

I've got a bungalow.

No one in or out without my say-so.

What do we do about our guests?

A luau, Joseph.

We'll keep them happy and distracted.

Oh, this place is paradise.

Yeah.

Gun collectors.

Well, it's a good place to get a tan.

You don't have to worry about strap lines.

Hi, Colt Seavers.

We came down here to scout locations.

What we've seen so far, this place looks perfect for a picture.

This is a private island.

It's not for hire.

Oh, well, maybe we can discuss it.

$50,000 is nothing to sneeze at.

Oh, this is Jodi Banks and Howie Munson.

Are you the Stone?

Well, I've done everything I could think of to be one.

I'm Robert Fessman.

The Robert Fessman?

You know, I thought you looked familiar.

Why, he's been on the front page of every newspaper in the country.

Young lady, the one thing I miss about the good old U.S.

of A is going to the movies.

Can't you have cassettes flown in?

I'd rather make my own.

I don't believe it.

All of these Gauguin's are originals.

You know, we don't mean to impose on your hospitality.

The studio gave me a generous budget.

We'd be glad to pay.

While you're here, you'll be my guest.

And I promise you we'll be bored.

Are you kidding?

This is an incredible stroke of luck.

The picture that we came down to do is based loosely on the life of Gauguin.

I'd love to spend a few days with your collection.

You know art?

Well, the studio did send me all the way down here to inspire my art direction.

Well, then you'll appreciate the syncretism of Western and Far Eastern

influence in this particular painting here.

Well, Howie's specialty is more modern.

Well, syncretism, yes.

But I think more than that.

Gauguin's Tahitian horses are a paraphrase, or better still, maybe a

translation, since an imaginative transposition is

involved from the horses in the Pantheon frieze.

You know, that's very interesting.

I never saw it that way, but it's obvious.

That's brilliant.

Well, I prefer brilliant to obvious.

Would you mind if I paint it while I'm down here?

Why, not at all.

I think you'll appreciate the visuals as much as I do.

Would you like to see the garden?

Sure.

Excuse me.

Would you mind if I sketched you?

You see, there's a syncretism to this piece, but

more importantly, Gauguin's Tahitian horses are...

Yeah, this is just about as southern as southern hospitality can get.

Well, you're welcome to stay as long as you like.

Even after your friends have left.

Now, a Picasso, of course, will...

Well, you may find the script I planned for you more interesting.

And the rewards for winning the part even greater.

Look, we struggling actresses have a pretty bad reputation.

Well deserved, I might add.

But it's going to take a lot more motivation to get me into the big love scene.

Know what I mean?

Well, I'll be looking for the next act of our play.

Who are you?

Sorry to barge in.

Colt Seavers.

I never could resist anything that looked like it was off limits.

Well, you have good instincts.

What are you doing here?

You must be the stuntman from the plane.

That's right, but that still doesn't tell me why you're off limits.

Because Robert Vestman wants me that way.

He gets whatever he wants, one way or the other.

You mean you're his prisoner?

Yes.

And if you want to leave this island in one piece, I

suggest that you stop snooping around and play by his rules.

Look, you'd better go and forget that you ever saw me.

I'll be back.

Courtney, I feel wonderful.

I'm painting nature in its most beautiful form.

Howie, you sound nervous.

What?

Nervous?

I'm not nervous.

Well, I'm always a little nervous when I'm this close.

To the international date line.

Well, Howie, what's going on?

No, no, nothing's happening.

Just sitting around, wishing we were together.

Don't do that.

My great-grandmother posed for Gauguin.

I pose for you.

Well, don't, don't, don't do that.

You want to touch?

To paint?

Put that back on.

Howie, who's there?

Nobody, it's just the maid.

She keeps taking the tops off of my paints.

Well, what does she look like?

Oh, bad teeth.

What do you mean, bad teeth?

Look, Courtney, I can't talk right now.

I'll have to call you back a little bit later.

But don't worry.

There's one thing that I could do is...

keep my nose out of trouble.

Howie?

Howie?

Howie, are you there?

Goodbye.

Now I know what they mean when they say paradise.

Water, water everywhere.

Not a drop to drink.

You know, kid, I'm not trying to tell you what

to do, but, you know, you just met this Courtney.

And this isn't going to be available next week.

Girls?

There's always girls here out.

There's never been a Courtney.

I'm not just talking about girls.

I'm talking about life.

I mean, don't let it pass you by.

Based on one dinner.

Yeah, and nearly a breakfast.

Best man doesn't know you're here, does he?

I don't see why you should get half the money.

Or he should get it all.

We're going to go somewhere.

Where you can tell me all those pretty numbers.

Best man is too smart and powerful.

You will never get away with this.

You think you were going to get away with it?

There's a doctor on his way here to shoot you full of truth serum.

Let's go.

I'll never tell you those numbers.

Sure you will.

Excuse me.

Hurry, jump.

You all right?

Oh, I don't know.

Tell me.

I thought you were great.

You're a regular stuntwoman.

I don't see how you can keep doing that sort of thing over and over.

Well, I hear it's a lot like childbirth.

You can remember you'd never want to do it again.

I need your help.

Well, I suppose you want me to help you get off the islet and get away from Vestman.

Uh -huh.

Tell me what happened between you two.

I wasn't interested in the money.

Well, then what?

Revenge.

Hate.

Love.

Perhaps they all seem the same thing to me now.

Look, I can help you if you trust me.

Trust doesn't come easily.

Well,

then you better go along with Vestman for the moment.

Take Ivy back to her quarters.

You'll have to accept my apologies, Mr. Severs.

Ivy's a rather delicate woman.

She's here on the island recovering from a nervous breakdown.

Yeah, well, where was Joseph taking her?

Well, he's taking her over to Tahiti to see a doctor.

I'll have to fly the doctor here now.

However, this is none of your affairs, Severs.

You're my guest, unlike your companions and yourself, to attend a luau this evening.

Is that an invitation or an order?

Well, it's my island.

Sounds like I accept.

Then Ivy does know the computer numbers.

While I keep Vestman busy, you get the fireworks ready.

Yeah.

But we're gonna need a big distraction to get her off the island.

Think 4th of July.

Make a lot of noise, but don't blow up the island.

Okay,

Howie, let's get to it.

Can I come in?

Come on in.

I just thought I would stop by and thank you for being so generous.

I'm sure my studio will repay you for your kindness.

That's unnecessary.

Now, why did you really stop by?

You got trouble, and I figured maybe I could help you out.

The day Robert Vestman needs help from a second-rate stuntman, I'll let you know.

I'm a very busy man, Mr. Severs.

Please leave me alone.

Uh...

I wouldn't be too busy for a friend of the game, would you?

With you?

You've had one too many falls, Severs.

My stakes are too rich for your blood.

Oh, I don't know.

As long as I can't use the $50,000 to rent your

island, I may as well put it to better use.

The $50,000?

Mm-hmm.

Well, don't you have to account for the missing funds?

Oh, you see, that's my ace in the hole.

There's not a person in the whole world that wouldn't

believe that you, Mr. Robert Vestman, ripped me off.

Well...

You know, maybe we can do business.

On that level, anyway.

It'll give us something to do before the luau.

Close that door!

Colt said the Fourth of July, but I'm going for Chinese New Year's.

You think we got enough fireworks?

Are you kidding?

Speaking of fireworks, I wonder what Courtney's doing right now.

Oh, well, she's probably sitting right by the phone, finding a way for you.

Do you think so?

I mean, is that what you'd do?

Oh, well, it's hard to say, Howie.

I mean, I never met a guy like you before.

Yeah.

Well, three of a kind.

Bet's another thousand.

And I warn you, Colt Seavers never bluffs.

Call.

I guess you didn't stack the deck.

And then again, maybe I wanted to give you incentive to play more than one hand.

This is becoming more fun than I thought, cowboy.

We can continue this later.

Why don't you go enjoy the luau after all you are on Pleasure Island?

Well, you're the boss.

What's the damage?

Seventy-five hundred.

Seventy-five hundred.

You're lucky.

Colt, this is fascinating.

The women are congratulating the men on the large amount of fish.

That they caught.

You mean you know what this stuff means?

Oh, yeah.

I studied primitive anthropology at the University of Kansas.

Well, don't stop now.

What did they say?

Well, they're inviting them and promising to reward them with food and...

And what?

I can't tell you.

There are women present.

Kid, women are saying it.

No, thanks.

I'm not surprised.

That was the Samoan mating ritual.

That's nice.

Nice?

I'd say congratulations is more in order.

But I do.

You promised to be Manu's woman before the next sunset.

Okay, it's Fourth of July time, kid.

Look, will you excuse me a minute?

I'll see you later, all right?

I can hardly wait.

Wait till the last second.

After Howie starts the fireworks, then make a run for the jeep.

Want to have a little pork?

It's a nice piece right here.

You look like a hungry guy.

And I think you get back to work.

Please try to relax.

Music Music Music Great, Howie.

Let's get to Ivy's cottage, quick.

Music

Your guards went to see the fireworks.

Music Come on, Ivy.

Don't worry, we'll get you out of here.

Music Music Music

Nothing like a backup plan, but one spare part.

I wish I'd known you guys were so ingenious.

You probably could have gotten the key code.

You mean the number's on and off?

Without the key code, it's worthless.

That money could stay in limbo forever.

Put it back.

Well, why?

Fact is, we won't be getting the reward money,

and this operation cost a small fortune.

Going in the hole never bothered you before.

Thousands of Americans are missing their retirement funds.

Well, I lost 1,500 bucks, but I can make that up again.

I think Ivy's right.

Cole, what are you really thinking?

We're going to show Vestman that three -second rate stunts are real.

He's got people at his secretary who can play this game better than he can.

We're going to nail him.

Music Music Music All right, Howie's had time to reach the villa.

Do your stuff, Ivy.

Help.

Someone.

Anyone.

Call Mr. Vestman.

This is Ivy.

Ivy?

Ivy.

Clear all channels.

This is Vestman.

Thank God it's you.

Can you hear me?

Colt's gone crazy.

He wants the numbers and he's going to kill me.

Vestman, Ivy and I are on the other side of the lagoon.

I take it you didn't come to Pleasure Island to scout locations.

Or play poker.

I'll be here by 10 o'clock or Ivy dies.

Look, don't be a maniac.

Why kill her?

Leverage.

The numbers die with her.

You better get here fast.

Come alone.

No guards.

Let's go.

Colt!

You and every gun follow Colt.

Don't go close by in the jeep, all right?

But far enough back not to be discovered.

But ready to move in.

You understand that?

Mr. Vestman, you're crazy to go.

If anything happens to Ivy before I get those numbers, I'm ruined.

I want that stuntman dead.

Okay, Jody, hunch your shoulders a little bit.

Yeah, that's a perfect Ivy.

The cliff near the waterfall.

Hurry.

Ivy, don't.

Don't drop her, Colt.

I didn't realize she meant that much to you.

Come on, let's go.

Don't shoot, he's got Ivy.

That makes good business sense.

Since I've got the numbers, we don't need Ivy anymore.

You wouldn't.

Told you, I don't fluff.

What do you want?

I'll give you half the money.

Sounds fair.

The key code.

Insurance.

Van Gogh.

The key code's Van Gogh.

Now, what's the numbers?

Van Gogh, Howie.

Try Van Gogh.

Roger, Colt.

Van Gogh's no good, Colt.

No offense, Gauguin.

I know you and Van Gogh were pals.

Try again, Vestman.

How do I know you've got the numbers?

Five, six, forty-five mean anything to you?

That's my birthday.

It's also the first set of numbers.

What's the key code?

Looks like we're at a Mexican standoff, cowboy.

Only I've got the tons.

I've got the time.

Colt, come in.

I got it.

The key code is Gauguin.

It's funny how the odds change.

It won't matter to you, Seuss.

Oh?

Race you for the computer?

Get him!

Don't hurt him.

Just get him.

Don't let him get back to the villa.

Come on.

Now get to the jet.

Install the part and then take off.

What about you and Howie?

Don't worry.

I'll handle it.

Now go.

Come on.

Come on.

Where did he go?

Okay, split up.

You guys take off there.

He can't be far.

You come with me.

Let's go.

Okay, do you remember where the spare part's hidden?

Yeah, but what about... Manu, don't worry.

I'll take care of him.

I hope.

Hey, tag the guy.

You're it.

Come catch me.

Hi there, Manu.

Oh, come on, big guy.

Where are you?

Ah, yeah, there you go.

Bella.

Okay, give me the part.

You can fix engines?

I'm a woman, aren't I?

Now you're gonna get me out of here, young man.

Sure, just take it easy.

All right, best man.

Just hand your gun to Howie carefully.

Remember, I don't bluff.

Bang.

Let's go.

Keep going.

Up there.

Come on.

Jody, you're a stuntwoman, a mechanic, a pilot.

You can do everything.

That's what you think.

You should see my sewing.

Hey, drop it!

Do as he says.

Get him to the seaplane.

What about Jody?

She's on her way home with Ivy.

Drop it, Munson.

Remind me to give you a raise, Kenny.

There he is.

Don't shoot.

Don't shoot.

Stay there.

Just stay there.

Get in there.

Oh, I wanted to do that for a long time.

Hurry up.

He's headed for the other dock.

Hurry up.

He's headed for the other dock.

Out of the helm.

Me!

You have all the fun.

See, there's still time.

I'll make you a rich man.

Now you're broke.

Why are you so fidgety, kid?

Courtney called.

She's coming over.

Come in.

Wow, what's wrong?

Howie, I don't know how to tell you this.

You see, I was dating this other guy before I met you.

And while you were gone, we kind of got back together.

I didn't want to upset you, so I thought it

would be best to wait until you got back home.

Well, an axe is an axe whenever it falls.

I'm really sorry.

What are you doing?

Well, I thought I'd try and sell one of these and go back to Tahiti.

What do you think of this one?

Look, seriously, Colt.

I'm trying, kid.

I'm trying.