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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,000 That's you! 2 00:00:02,540 --> 00:00:03,540 Hey! 3 00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:05,100 What 4 00:00:29,060 --> 00:00:30,120 the hell is going on here? 5 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:31,280 I'm a guest! 6 00:00:31,380 --> 00:00:33,856 Unless someone's sliding you into the building, you are not a guest. 7 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:34,380 Alright, please. 8 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:36,760 Man, I'm counting on you to see my friend. 9 00:00:36,780 --> 00:00:37,836 Don't take that tag with me. 10 00:00:37,860 --> 00:00:38,820 My friend lives here. 11 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:39,340 Please don't put me in this position. 12 00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:40,860 Why are you doing this? 13 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:42,456 I'm gonna have to call the campus police. 14 00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:44,480 No, Jordan, she's my guest. 15 00:00:44,980 --> 00:00:45,720 She's your guest. 16 00:00:45,820 --> 00:00:48,100 Yeah, yeah, she's... Hi, Stephanie. 17 00:00:48,260 --> 00:00:48,560 Yeah. 18 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:50,280 Stephanie, thank you. 19 00:00:51,940 --> 00:00:52,940 Stephanie... 20 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:53,920 Sanders. 21 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:55,556 Stephanie Sanders, right here. 22 00:00:55,580 --> 00:00:56,340 Just take care of her, okay? 23 00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:57,420 Oh yeah, no, I got this. 24 00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:58,300 This is all taken care of. 25 00:00:58,301 --> 00:00:58,920 You don't have to worry about that. 26 00:00:59,320 --> 00:00:59,940 Thank you. 27 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:00,960 Thanks, ma'am. 28 00:01:00,980 --> 00:01:01,320 Thank you. 29 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:01,700 Sorry. 30 00:01:02,340 --> 00:01:03,340 Oh, rock and roll. 31 00:01:03,860 --> 00:01:04,860 What? 32 00:01:05,290 --> 00:01:06,360 I said rock and roll. 33 00:01:06,980 --> 00:01:07,300 Oh. 34 00:01:07,875 --> 00:01:09,380 Alright, this is, uh, this is us. 35 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:11,880 Us. 36 00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:13,300 You're funny. 37 00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:18,860 Nice porn. 38 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:19,460 Uh-huh. 39 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:20,720 Yeah. 40 00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:23,300 Nice panties. 41 00:01:24,660 --> 00:01:25,660 Who are you? 42 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:26,320 I'm Jake. 43 00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:27,700 Lainey. 44 00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:30,236 It's a nickname they give to people named Elaine. 45 00:01:30,260 --> 00:01:31,120 Elaine's a great name. 46 00:01:31,260 --> 00:01:32,260 It's like, Elaine! 47 00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:32,800 Elaine! 48 00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:33,940 Hey. 49 00:01:33,941 --> 00:01:37,940 If you ever even mention the graduate again, I will slit your throat. 50 00:01:38,380 --> 00:01:39,380 Okay, Lainey. 51 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:41,120 Glad we got that cleared up. 52 00:01:43,260 --> 00:01:44,620 Welcome to my Thursday night, huh? 53 00:01:45,215 --> 00:01:47,500 You, uh, you wanna watch porn? 54 00:01:47,810 --> 00:01:48,810 Smoke drugs? 55 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:52,120 This sucks. 56 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:53,480 Mm. 57 00:01:53,620 --> 00:01:54,756 You know what I was gonna do tonight? 58 00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:55,816 Judge him from your outfit? 59 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:56,880 I'd say scale a mountain. 60 00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:58,240 Lose my virginity. 61 00:01:58,340 --> 00:01:58,900 Hold on a second. 62 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:03,240 You were gonna lose your virginity to Matthew Sobacek in 11B at Ween Dormitory? 63 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,260 He's the TA in my pre-med bio class. 64 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,880 I'm deliberately failing to get work sessions with him. 65 00:02:08,060 --> 00:02:08,320 Ugh. 66 00:02:08,700 --> 00:02:11,280 We fool around after he teaches me things I already know. 67 00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:12,080 Jesus. 68 00:02:12,580 --> 00:02:16,153 How Matthew Sobacek managed to bag such a delightfully unhinged 69 00:02:16,154 --> 00:02:18,420 hottie by being the most boring fucking thing I've ever seen. 70 00:02:18,421 --> 00:02:21,560 This fucking guy on this entire floor is beyond me. 71 00:02:23,565 --> 00:02:24,240 Well, I'm in love with him. 72 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:24,680 Come on. 73 00:02:24,740 --> 00:02:28,540 There's no way you love Matthew Sobacek, the Pontiac Aztec of people. 74 00:02:28,890 --> 00:02:33,500 Lainey, you having sex with Matthew Sobacek is basically the same thing as me 75 00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:36,660 telling an Aborigine in the Australian Outback that he's about to listen to The 76 00:02:36,661 --> 00:02:39,300 Beatles for the first time and that I play him Blues Traveler. 77 00:02:39,610 --> 00:02:43,920 That's a cruel joke, for I will have just tricked him into thinking Blues Traveler 78 00:02:44,145 --> 00:02:45,520 is the greatest band of all time. 79 00:02:46,020 --> 00:02:46,460 Okay? 80 00:02:46,890 --> 00:02:48,400 Now, if you were to sleep with Matthew Sobacek, that would be the best. 81 00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:50,612 If you were to sleep with Matthew Sobacek, you would 82 00:02:50,613 --> 00:02:52,881 be addicted to mediocrity for the rest of your life. 83 00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:56,720 And that barely covered vagina of yours deserves better than that. 84 00:02:57,035 --> 00:02:58,660 It doesn't deserve John Popper. 85 00:02:58,890 --> 00:03:00,400 It deserves John Lennon. 86 00:03:00,660 --> 00:03:01,100 Okay? 87 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:02,440 You understand me? 88 00:03:02,665 --> 00:03:05,840 I'm talking about, like, the White Album, not Hook. 89 00:03:08,290 --> 00:03:09,600 Tell me what sex is like. 90 00:03:09,820 --> 00:03:10,680 Oh, my God. 91 00:03:10,780 --> 00:03:12,220 You have got a one-track mind. 92 00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:12,920 Fuck you. 93 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:14,080 Enlighten me. 94 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,220 You want me to tell you what sex is like, huh? 95 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:16,360 Mm-hmm. 96 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:17,400 Tell me. 97 00:03:19,340 --> 00:03:20,460 You'd better be ready. 98 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:22,320 You ready? 99 00:03:22,580 --> 00:03:23,580 Yes. 100 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:27,800 Sex is like, uh, it's like kissing with your entire body. 101 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,240 Very sensual experience. 102 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:36,680 It's like shooting heroine in a controlled, yet moist environment, you know? 103 00:03:36,860 --> 00:03:37,560 You know what it's like? 104 00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:39,280 It's like, it's like Times Square at night, you know? 105 00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:42,840 I mean, just the right tinge of danger. 106 00:03:49,060 --> 00:03:50,540 Oh, my God. 107 00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:52,300 What? 108 00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:54,100 What? 109 00:03:54,180 --> 00:03:55,720 Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're okay. 110 00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,080 Yeah, so I haven't... 111 00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:59,040 technically... 112 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,840 actually really done it yet. 113 00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:03,280 Why are you laughing at me? 114 00:04:03,380 --> 00:04:04,980 That's not... You're so old! 115 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:05,940 Fuck you! 116 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:07,740 I didn't call you an old virgin! 117 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:08,660 I'm not! 118 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:09,620 I'm shocked! 119 00:04:09,740 --> 00:04:10,360 I'm shocked! 120 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,180 You're so cute! 121 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:12,460 Why are you giving me shit? 122 00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:17,700 You can't get the most boring dude in our dorm to sleep with you. 123 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:19,080 You know that? 124 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:20,200 I mean, that's ridiculous. 125 00:04:20,540 --> 00:04:21,840 You're the one that should be... 126 00:04:25,450 --> 00:04:26,530 No, I'm sorry. 127 00:04:27,770 --> 00:04:29,171 I'm... I'm sorry. 128 00:04:29,910 --> 00:04:30,990 I didn't mean to upset you. 129 00:04:31,030 --> 00:04:32,346 I was just joking around with you. 130 00:04:32,370 --> 00:04:33,010 I thought we were joking around. 131 00:04:33,210 --> 00:04:34,210 So I was joking. 132 00:04:37,450 --> 00:04:41,370 This was all almost very romantic and then you just fucked it up. 133 00:04:44,770 --> 00:04:45,770 It was? 134 00:05:14,740 --> 00:05:16,760 I'm so sweaty all of a sudden. 135 00:05:21,420 --> 00:05:22,420 You're incredible. 136 00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:25,660 You're going to drive some guy crazy someday. 137 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:29,960 Okay. 138 00:05:29,961 --> 00:05:30,420 It's alright. 139 00:05:30,900 --> 00:05:31,900 Here we go. 140 00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:34,140 Look, 141 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:20,556 I can do this all the way to Brooklyn. 142 00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:20,940 Fuck you! 143 00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:22,380 Easy, easy. 144 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:23,400 Hey! 145 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:25,676 See if you can get out of that cab, Cindy Bristow style. 146 00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:26,980 Thank God you stopped, okay? 147 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:27,820 Please, please. 148 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:28,240 You're disgusting! 149 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:29,180 I'm okay. 150 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:29,940 Maybe you're right. 151 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:31,600 Look at you fucker dick! 152 00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:35,240 That got me! 153 00:06:35,460 --> 00:06:38,100 What are we doing in the middle of the street? 154 00:06:38,260 --> 00:06:39,780 Because I hope we fucking die! 155 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:41,560 Please, come on! 156 00:06:42,460 --> 00:06:44,120 Just get off the street. 157 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,660 Look, look, look. 158 00:06:46,060 --> 00:06:46,600 Hey, hey, hey. 159 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:48,060 I appreciate your anger. 160 00:06:48,140 --> 00:06:49,000 I really do. 161 00:06:49,140 --> 00:06:50,140 Okay? 162 00:06:50,420 --> 00:06:52,200 And Lord knows I could use the exercise. 163 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,920 But I do believe there are exactly three points we should discuss. 164 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:59,488 First off, in our initial conversations about exclusivity, I 165 00:06:59,489 --> 00:07:02,500 distinctly recall you saying something about staying casual. 166 00:07:02,620 --> 00:07:02,760 Yeah? 167 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:03,880 I only said that because... 168 00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:05,956 Most likely because you thought that's what I wanted to hear, yes? 169 00:07:05,980 --> 00:07:06,340 Yes. 170 00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:09,820 Okay, well, me taking you at your word doesn't make me an asshole. 171 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,420 It does, however, make you a liar. 172 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,040 Ugh, you're such a piece of shit! 173 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,320 Hey, second point, okay? 174 00:07:15,860 --> 00:07:18,400 If you really, actually wanted monogamy, why 175 00:07:18,401 --> 00:07:20,620 have casual sex with me for three months? 176 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:24,400 You know, I mean, if you want to grow flowers, you don't plant them in a closet. 177 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:29,780 So, either you're stupid, or, deep down inside, you don't want monogamy either. 178 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,820 You fucked my best friend! 179 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:33,700 Which brings me to my third and final point. 180 00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:38,800 Your chief complaint is not that I screwed someone, it is who I screwed. 181 00:07:39,180 --> 00:07:40,380 That's what it's about, right? 182 00:07:40,580 --> 00:07:45,460 So, much like your, uh, counterintuitive plan to secure an exclusive relationship 183 00:07:45,461 --> 00:07:48,505 with a guy that you don't actually want to date, moi, 184 00:07:48,506 --> 00:07:51,360 your issue with me and Sarah Do not say her name. 185 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:54,440 Your issue with us is purely driven by societal insecurity. 186 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:59,000 Not to mention a culturally infused female competition. 187 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,140 My heart goes out to you ladies. 188 00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:03,100 Baby, you're a bad liar. 189 00:08:04,060 --> 00:08:05,060 You're not stupid. 190 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,300 And she can't hold a candle to you. 191 00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:10,980 Can we please go home? 192 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:12,960 Please? 193 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:17,220 You know, get out of these wet clothes, dry each other off using friction. 194 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:22,240 Yeah? 195 00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:23,900 Go ahead. 196 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:31,500 Got a girlfriend, Charles? 197 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:32,760 No. 198 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,380 Play in the field? 199 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:36,800 Well, be careful. 200 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:38,900 You know? 201 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:40,240 Why? 202 00:08:41,860 --> 00:08:43,660 I don't know if I have time to answer that. 203 00:08:49,310 --> 00:08:49,710 Wow. 204 00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,750 The bathroom fucking stinks. 205 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:53,610 What are we talking about? 206 00:08:54,610 --> 00:08:55,626 That's why I said you're Jack. 207 00:08:55,650 --> 00:08:56,650 I said Jack. 208 00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:58,880 Melania and I are looking to buy. 209 00:08:59,570 --> 00:09:00,570 Maybe have a kid. 210 00:09:01,825 --> 00:09:03,656 I hope it was okay that I said that, by the way. 211 00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:05,721 I mean, you haven't changed your mind or anything, have you? 212 00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:06,906 Because I know you don't want to get married. 213 00:09:06,930 --> 00:09:08,603 But, you know, I do think it's important we 214 00:09:08,604 --> 00:09:10,230 make some sort of commitment to each other. 215 00:09:10,330 --> 00:09:15,070 And I think buying a place, maybe Kensington, maybe Prospect Heights. 216 00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:16,590 What's up, little nugget? 217 00:09:16,610 --> 00:09:18,090 What are you doing with the notebook? 218 00:09:18,290 --> 00:09:19,650 Sam, I have to read you something. 219 00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:21,750 You've been writing again? 220 00:09:23,610 --> 00:09:23,930 Sweet. 221 00:09:24,050 --> 00:09:24,350 No. 222 00:09:24,490 --> 00:09:25,490 That's great. 223 00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:26,410 I was never writing. 224 00:09:26,510 --> 00:09:26,830 Yes. 225 00:09:26,831 --> 00:09:28,490 That was one short story. 226 00:09:28,491 --> 00:09:29,110 That is great. 227 00:09:29,230 --> 00:09:30,230 No, listen. 228 00:09:30,530 --> 00:09:31,766 Listen, I want to tell you something. 229 00:09:31,790 --> 00:09:32,370 Look at me. 230 00:09:32,470 --> 00:09:33,070 Look at me. 231 00:09:33,350 --> 00:09:33,710 Okay? 232 00:09:33,850 --> 00:09:36,750 I know you love teaching, but that's not a real thing. 233 00:09:36,930 --> 00:09:37,650 I mean, this is great. 234 00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:38,290 This is good. 235 00:09:38,291 --> 00:09:39,906 Can you please just not interrupt me while I read this? 236 00:09:39,930 --> 00:09:41,050 Please, just listen to it. 237 00:09:41,051 --> 00:09:42,411 Just let me get through all of it. 238 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,260 I don't think I interrupt you, but, come on. 239 00:09:44,950 --> 00:09:45,310 Don't. 240 00:09:45,311 --> 00:09:45,850 I don't. 241 00:09:45,890 --> 00:09:46,650 Please don't interrupt me. 242 00:09:46,830 --> 00:09:47,930 I would love to hear it. 243 00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:49,110 Okay, I'm gonna start. 244 00:09:49,370 --> 00:09:50,370 Wow me. 245 00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:52,210 Sam. 246 00:09:52,570 --> 00:09:53,570 Melania. 247 00:09:57,060 --> 00:10:03,720 My therapist suggested that I attend a 12 step program for recovery from a love 248 00:10:03,721 --> 00:10:06,180 addiction and romantic obsession I've been having. 249 00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:08,780 Did we say love addiction? 250 00:10:09,755 --> 00:10:10,755 And romantic obsession. 251 00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:11,820 Sweetie. 252 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:13,200 You might as well face it. 253 00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:14,300 You're addicted to love. 254 00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:14,840 Obsession. 255 00:10:14,940 --> 00:10:15,160 No. 256 00:10:15,420 --> 00:10:16,720 It's Robert Palmer. 257 00:10:16,860 --> 00:10:18,560 That I've had for the last 10 years. 258 00:10:18,580 --> 00:10:22,120 As a result, I've been able to stay faithful to you for the past six months. 259 00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,741 Okay, let me just stop you because I feel 260 00:10:23,742 --> 00:10:26,521 like... Sam, I'm trying to tell you something. 261 00:10:27,780 --> 00:10:27,900 Sam. 262 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,380 I would love to hear what you're telling me. 263 00:10:29,381 --> 00:10:30,856 Can you listen to what I'm saying to you? 264 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:31,020 I'm trying to... 265 00:10:31,870 --> 00:10:33,420 Yeah, I'm listening. 266 00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:36,540 We want to move forward in our relationship in an honest way. 267 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:37,280 I know. 268 00:10:37,340 --> 00:10:37,900 Being honest. 269 00:10:38,020 --> 00:10:41,940 Honest, critical appraisal is the foundation. 270 00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:43,160 Sam, I cheated on you. 271 00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,200 Cheated on me? 272 00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:05,100 Baby. 273 00:11:05,860 --> 00:11:06,860 How many times? 274 00:11:06,861 --> 00:11:07,861 How many times? 275 00:11:10,740 --> 00:11:11,740 Sixteen? 276 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,800 I don't even know 16 guys. 277 00:11:19,140 --> 00:11:19,640 Sixteen guys? 278 00:11:19,641 --> 00:11:20,641 No, the same guy. 279 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:22,160 Sixteen times. 280 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:25,240 But who? 281 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:26,160 It doesn't matter. 282 00:11:26,220 --> 00:11:27,640 Tell me who... It doesn't matter. 283 00:11:27,641 --> 00:11:28,020 My brother? 284 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:29,200 No. 285 00:11:29,380 --> 00:11:30,380 Was it my brother? 286 00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:30,780 No. 287 00:11:30,860 --> 00:11:31,740 Was it my brother? 288 00:11:31,820 --> 00:11:31,960 Stop. 289 00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:33,596 You know I'm not attracted to your brother. 290 00:11:33,620 --> 00:11:34,720 Who's so fucking hot? 291 00:11:35,110 --> 00:11:36,520 Who is better than my brother? 292 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:38,160 I'm not gonna tell you. 293 00:11:38,161 --> 00:11:39,000 I deserve to know. 294 00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:39,560 No, I'm sorry. 295 00:11:39,561 --> 00:11:40,280 I deserve to know. 296 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,400 I've been getting his second fucking servings. 297 00:11:43,401 --> 00:11:44,521 I've been tasting his sweat. 298 00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:46,440 Whose juices have I tasted? 299 00:11:46,910 --> 00:11:49,640 If I've been drinking his juices, I want to know who it is. 300 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,220 I'm gonna involve him in this and make things worse for everyone. 301 00:11:52,221 --> 00:11:56,940 I think you involved my brother when you fucked him 16 times. 302 00:11:57,020 --> 00:12:00,580 Who can tell with that fucking swarthy man? 303 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:01,000 What? 304 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:01,800 Get out of here. 305 00:12:01,980 --> 00:12:02,820 Get out of here. 306 00:12:02,940 --> 00:12:03,940 Please. 307 00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:05,576 Why did you have to do this in public? 308 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:06,880 Were you trying to humiliate me? 309 00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:07,360 Look it. 310 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:07,680 Look it. 311 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:08,160 He's looking. 312 00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:09,260 I'm embarrassed. 313 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:09,760 One. 314 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:10,820 I'm humiliating him. 315 00:12:11,020 --> 00:12:11,820 I thought that you would freak out. 316 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:12,240 Yeah. 317 00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:12,580 Oh. 318 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:13,620 Well, you thought right. 319 00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:15,540 Get ready for a classic Sam freak out. 320 00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:20,040 Wait. 321 00:12:20,041 --> 00:12:20,760 I'm sorry. 322 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:21,300 Please. 323 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:22,400 Please. 324 00:12:22,620 --> 00:12:23,620 I'm sorry. 325 00:12:24,450 --> 00:12:26,020 I want to make this work. 326 00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:27,100 I'm trying to get better. 327 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:28,680 You can't get better. 328 00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:30,260 Lainey. 329 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:31,320 You're not an addict. 330 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:32,760 Okay? 331 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:37,720 You're just a whore. 332 00:12:41,020 --> 00:12:42,020 You're a whore. 333 00:12:45,220 --> 00:12:46,420 You're a fucking whore. 334 00:13:46,230 --> 00:13:48,090 Of all the gin joints. 335 00:13:50,170 --> 00:13:51,170 No way. 336 00:13:52,590 --> 00:13:52,990 Jake. 337 00:13:52,991 --> 00:13:53,991 Yes. 338 00:13:57,710 --> 00:13:58,710 Oh my god. 339 00:13:58,890 --> 00:14:00,730 Were you just in that meeting? 340 00:14:00,930 --> 00:14:01,170 Oh yeah. 341 00:14:01,210 --> 00:14:01,410 Yeah. 342 00:14:01,450 --> 00:14:01,850 Sure was. 343 00:14:01,990 --> 00:14:02,190 Uh huh. 344 00:14:02,310 --> 00:14:02,710 Yeah. 345 00:14:02,990 --> 00:14:04,030 Had to get out of there though. 346 00:14:04,050 --> 00:14:05,210 It was making me super horny. 347 00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:07,670 Wow. 348 00:14:07,870 --> 00:14:08,870 It's been... 349 00:14:09,230 --> 00:14:09,630 What? 350 00:14:09,730 --> 00:14:10,730 Twelve years? 351 00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:12,710 I think it might actually be longer. 352 00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:13,010 Yeah. 353 00:14:13,710 --> 00:14:14,790 You look good. 354 00:14:16,210 --> 00:14:17,210 So do you. 355 00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:18,250 Thank you. 356 00:14:18,730 --> 00:14:19,130 Wow. 357 00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:20,370 The old virgin. 358 00:14:21,810 --> 00:14:23,290 Don't you mean the one that got away? 359 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:24,350 Stop. 360 00:14:24,690 --> 00:14:26,564 The last thing I remember we had that awesome night 361 00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:29,550 together and then you just sort of... You disappeared. 362 00:14:30,010 --> 00:14:30,350 Oh. 363 00:14:30,390 --> 00:14:32,906 Plus you were all hung up on that guy that lived next door to me. 364 00:14:32,930 --> 00:14:33,430 The boring guy. 365 00:14:33,530 --> 00:14:35,610 The uh... Marcus or uh... Matthew. 366 00:14:36,190 --> 00:14:36,390 That's right. 367 00:14:36,510 --> 00:14:37,710 I hear he's a lady doctor now. 368 00:14:37,950 --> 00:14:38,210 Huh? 369 00:14:38,570 --> 00:14:38,930 Yeah. 370 00:14:39,390 --> 00:14:40,390 You ever see him around? 371 00:14:40,550 --> 00:14:42,450 I assume like doctor things. 372 00:14:42,770 --> 00:14:43,770 Aren't you a doctor now? 373 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:44,590 Oh I didn't do that. 374 00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:45,906 I didn't end up going to med school. 375 00:14:45,930 --> 00:14:46,290 Oh. 376 00:14:46,530 --> 00:14:47,090 I teach. 377 00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:47,830 Cool. 378 00:14:48,010 --> 00:14:48,170 No yeah. 379 00:14:48,370 --> 00:14:48,730 Kids. 380 00:14:48,830 --> 00:14:49,050 Great. 381 00:14:49,190 --> 00:14:50,190 Kindergarten. 382 00:14:50,310 --> 00:14:51,310 Alright. 383 00:14:51,570 --> 00:14:51,930 You? 384 00:14:52,150 --> 00:14:52,510 What are you? 385 00:14:52,690 --> 00:14:53,090 What are you? 386 00:14:53,330 --> 00:14:55,744 Uh buddy and I created this CDN and we're selling it 387 00:14:55,745 --> 00:14:57,510 to a digital media provider on your board already? 388 00:14:57,670 --> 00:14:57,830 No. 389 00:14:58,130 --> 00:14:58,670 You just asked me. 390 00:14:58,690 --> 00:14:58,950 I know. 391 00:14:59,050 --> 00:14:59,550 I'm sorry. 392 00:14:59,730 --> 00:15:02,730 I have to... Respond to that booty text I assume right? 393 00:15:03,510 --> 00:15:04,650 Aw come on. 394 00:15:04,690 --> 00:15:05,130 Laney. 395 00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:06,870 I was watching you in there. 396 00:15:07,010 --> 00:15:08,010 I saw you. 397 00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:10,010 Checking your phone every five minutes. 398 00:15:10,390 --> 00:15:11,870 All that tension in your shoulders. 399 00:15:11,990 --> 00:15:12,550 Legs crossed. 400 00:15:12,810 --> 00:15:13,470 Playing with your hair. 401 00:15:13,530 --> 00:15:14,210 Why are you here? 402 00:15:14,490 --> 00:15:14,750 Hmm. 403 00:15:15,010 --> 00:15:16,010 Pick up women? 404 00:15:16,090 --> 00:15:16,310 No. 405 00:15:16,450 --> 00:15:16,730 No. 406 00:15:16,870 --> 00:15:17,350 Heavens no. 407 00:15:17,470 --> 00:15:17,610 No. 408 00:15:17,630 --> 00:15:18,030 Not women. 409 00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:18,330 No. 410 00:15:19,030 --> 00:15:20,370 Just you evidently. 411 00:15:20,470 --> 00:15:21,470 Ha ha ha. 412 00:15:22,030 --> 00:15:23,030 I'll see you around. 413 00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:24,850 Hopefully not here. 414 00:15:25,950 --> 00:15:26,950 Yeah. 415 00:15:27,910 --> 00:15:29,090 Hey I'm on Facebook. 416 00:15:30,590 --> 00:15:31,070 What? 417 00:15:31,450 --> 00:15:33,030 That's a weird thing to say out loud. 418 00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:50,150 You know I have one last question. 419 00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:50,790 Oh come on. 420 00:15:50,791 --> 00:15:51,791 Come on. 421 00:15:52,610 --> 00:15:53,610 Um. 422 00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:58,150 When I sign this what happens to everything that Xander and I worked on? 423 00:15:58,420 --> 00:15:59,970 Like all the content we create? 424 00:16:00,190 --> 00:16:04,410 We dissolve all past and current product and you'll work exclusively for us. 425 00:16:04,710 --> 00:16:05,190 Alright. 426 00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:06,730 Time to settle down. 427 00:16:07,950 --> 00:16:08,550 That's true. 428 00:16:08,790 --> 00:16:11,450 But what if we have... No. 429 00:16:11,451 --> 00:16:15,330 I will straight up murder you if you do not sign this immediately. 430 00:16:15,690 --> 00:16:16,970 Xander I'm looking out for us. 431 00:16:17,050 --> 00:16:17,830 You're looking out for us? 432 00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:18,070 No. 433 00:16:18,150 --> 00:16:19,010 I'm looking out for us. 434 00:16:19,011 --> 00:16:19,770 You're being a dick. 435 00:16:19,810 --> 00:16:20,570 Here's the thing guys. 436 00:16:20,650 --> 00:16:22,930 I don't negotiate but my lawyers do. 437 00:16:23,430 --> 00:16:26,330 So if you want to reopen the terms of the contract that's fine. 438 00:16:26,410 --> 00:16:27,770 I'm just gonna go grab some lunch. 439 00:16:28,670 --> 00:16:29,070 Alright. 440 00:16:29,270 --> 00:16:29,490 Alright. 441 00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:29,750 Alright. 442 00:16:29,890 --> 00:16:30,110 Alright. 443 00:16:30,850 --> 00:16:31,850 Okay. 444 00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:34,450 You don't have to go. 445 00:16:34,530 --> 00:16:34,950 To lunch. 446 00:16:35,150 --> 00:16:35,550 Yet. 447 00:16:36,050 --> 00:16:37,050 Okay. 448 00:16:41,460 --> 00:16:42,200 Congrats boys. 449 00:16:42,340 --> 00:16:43,540 You've officially sold out. 450 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:45,720 Yes! 451 00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:47,500 Oh my god! 452 00:16:48,020 --> 00:16:50,660 I really thought you were gonna fuck this up. 453 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:50,880 Me too. 454 00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:51,660 I really did. 455 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,640 He fucks everything in life up. 456 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,720 I have two beautiful children. 457 00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:59,460 Both are gonna have ridiculously terrible teeth. 458 00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:00,840 So you're getting braces. 459 00:17:01,180 --> 00:17:02,400 You're getting braces. 460 00:17:02,910 --> 00:17:03,960 You're getting braces. 461 00:17:04,820 --> 00:17:05,820 Hey. 462 00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:06,940 You want a lunch? 463 00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:08,120 Can I come with? 464 00:17:09,620 --> 00:17:10,620 Dinner maybe? 465 00:17:10,980 --> 00:17:12,220 How about brunch with my folks? 466 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:12,740 You'll love them. 467 00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:14,580 You're smart, handsome, and now have sex? 468 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,300 Stop investing until 2018. 469 00:17:16,420 --> 00:17:17,920 You can go get any woman you want. 470 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:18,280 Really? 471 00:17:18,460 --> 00:17:19,460 Well I still choose you. 472 00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:19,740 Why? 473 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,400 Does that happen to be in your eye line? 474 00:17:21,630 --> 00:17:22,896 Possibly because you're uninterested. 475 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,916 Most likely because you're stunning and successful. 476 00:17:24,940 --> 00:17:25,220 I'm divorced. 477 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:26,360 His loss? 478 00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:27,040 I have a kid. 479 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:27,960 I love kids. 480 00:17:28,020 --> 00:17:28,520 Kids love me. 481 00:17:28,540 --> 00:17:29,340 I basically am a kid. 482 00:17:29,540 --> 00:17:31,020 And I don't sleep with my employees. 483 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:32,020 I quit! 484 00:17:32,220 --> 00:17:33,220 Goodbye Jacob. 485 00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:34,100 Congrats. 486 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:35,620 Thanks. 487 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:39,440 Paula's something else, huh? 488 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:41,220 Yeah, she really is. 489 00:17:41,221 --> 00:17:43,360 She was vibing me pretty hard in that meeting. 490 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:44,260 Well you're a married man. 491 00:17:44,460 --> 00:17:45,800 Yeah, no I made sure to tell her. 492 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:47,896 Because I was like, I didn't want to embarrass myself. 493 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:48,600 Yeah, that's good. 494 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:49,200 Let her down easy. 495 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:51,640 Good afternoon, Dr. Sobacek's office. 496 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,736 I'm sorry, the doctor is having a really bad night. 497 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:55,760 May I take a message? 498 00:17:57,180 --> 00:17:57,540 Elaine? 499 00:17:57,541 --> 00:17:58,820 Elaine Dalton? 500 00:17:59,540 --> 00:18:00,540 Yes. 501 00:18:02,260 --> 00:18:03,080 Sorry, it's Lainey. 502 00:18:03,260 --> 00:18:04,620 Only my father calls me Elaine. 503 00:18:05,865 --> 00:18:07,105 Dr. Sobacek, we'll see you now. 504 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,320 Thank you. 505 00:18:16,105 --> 00:18:17,700 You didn't have to make an appointment. 506 00:18:19,030 --> 00:18:20,400 This used to be our move. 507 00:18:20,910 --> 00:18:22,110 Me pretending to be a patient. 508 00:18:25,460 --> 00:18:26,460 You look great. 509 00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:28,340 It's been a while. 510 00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,580 I get worried when you disappear. 511 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:34,680 Me too. 512 00:18:35,850 --> 00:18:36,970 It's really good to see you. 513 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,520 What do you want to talk about? 514 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:41,200 I can't see you anymore. 515 00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:42,420 I agree. 516 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:44,960 Yeah. 517 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:46,200 I think... 518 00:18:47,910 --> 00:18:48,910 we need to be over. 519 00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:50,160 I asked Emma to marry me. 520 00:18:51,410 --> 00:18:52,530 And she kept bringing it up. 521 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,440 I thought it was the right thing to do. 522 00:18:58,320 --> 00:18:59,930 You and Emma got back together. 523 00:19:00,290 --> 00:19:01,290 Yes. 524 00:19:01,450 --> 00:19:02,610 Did I not tell you that? 525 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:11,800 How's Sam? 526 00:19:12,420 --> 00:19:13,420 He's... 527 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:15,240 fine. 528 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:16,680 Good. 529 00:19:20,740 --> 00:19:22,140 Glad we ended up face to face. 530 00:19:22,220 --> 00:19:23,320 You were right to come. 531 00:19:29,130 --> 00:19:30,130 Oh. 532 00:19:32,990 --> 00:19:33,900 Will you do me a favor? 533 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,000 Will you... 534 00:19:35,770 --> 00:19:37,050 erase your number from my phone? 535 00:19:39,660 --> 00:19:40,660 I won't be able to do it. 536 00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:35,620 Is this what you want, Elaine? 537 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:37,440 Yes. 538 00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:38,980 I want it all the time. 539 00:20:38,981 --> 00:20:39,981 That's all I think about. 540 00:21:27,370 --> 00:21:27,970 I'm sorry. 541 00:21:28,030 --> 00:21:29,470 The doctor is unavailable right now. 542 00:21:31,530 --> 00:21:32,530 He's getting married. 543 00:21:32,630 --> 00:21:33,850 Who would marry him? 544 00:21:34,010 --> 00:21:35,410 Like, can she consent? 545 00:21:35,610 --> 00:21:36,610 Is she in a coma? 546 00:21:36,770 --> 00:21:38,490 I mean, who is this person? 547 00:21:38,790 --> 00:21:40,050 Where do you find her? 548 00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:44,750 Some sort of, like, website for people who want to have a horrible, painful life? 549 00:21:44,850 --> 00:21:47,690 I think I need to stop having sex altogether for a while. 550 00:21:48,330 --> 00:21:48,730 No. 551 00:21:49,110 --> 00:21:49,510 Right? 552 00:21:49,630 --> 00:21:50,350 The problem isn't sex. 553 00:21:50,590 --> 00:21:52,495 The problem is Captain Amazing has monopolized your 554 00:21:52,496 --> 00:21:54,506 badge for like a decade and now you're a pot person. 555 00:21:54,530 --> 00:21:56,150 Maybe if I'm not having any sex. 556 00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:57,850 And become a sexual anorexic? 557 00:21:57,990 --> 00:21:58,170 No. 558 00:21:58,610 --> 00:21:59,010 What? 559 00:21:59,130 --> 00:22:00,130 Is that a real thing? 560 00:22:00,330 --> 00:22:01,626 Yeah, of course it's a real thing. 561 00:22:01,650 --> 00:22:02,930 It's sexual anorexia. 562 00:22:02,970 --> 00:22:04,503 It's like depriving yourself of sex because of 563 00:22:04,504 --> 00:22:08,230 low self-esteem or abuse or other gnarly shit. 564 00:22:08,310 --> 00:22:08,630 That's great. 565 00:22:08,710 --> 00:22:10,310 That's another dysfunction I have to worry about developing. 566 00:22:10,311 --> 00:22:11,711 There's like enough with this shit. 567 00:22:12,510 --> 00:22:13,330 It's over, Jack. 568 00:22:13,390 --> 00:22:14,390 It's like enough. 569 00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:16,326 I mean, it's like you can do so much better. 570 00:22:16,350 --> 00:22:20,811 I don't care if it's a woman, if it's somebody else, just anything but the schmuck. 571 00:22:21,790 --> 00:22:23,270 I feel like people are looking at us. 572 00:22:24,350 --> 00:22:26,810 The guy I lost my virginity to was at my sex addicts meeting. 573 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:28,360 What do you think that means? 574 00:22:28,770 --> 00:22:29,770 It's a sign. 575 00:22:30,360 --> 00:22:31,970 You should fuck that guy. 576 00:22:32,550 --> 00:22:33,550 A lot. 577 00:22:33,990 --> 00:22:37,950 I don't think everyone should just be running around fucking willy-nilly, okay? 578 00:22:38,070 --> 00:22:42,370 In your specific case, I do think you should fuck that sex addict. 579 00:22:50,590 --> 00:22:54,630 You have lipstick on your teeth. 580 00:22:56,550 --> 00:22:57,550 Thank you. 581 00:22:57,950 --> 00:22:58,550 This is my wife. 582 00:22:58,610 --> 00:22:59,610 This is Lainey. 583 00:22:59,950 --> 00:23:00,970 Lainey with an L. 584 00:23:00,990 --> 00:23:03,130 Bring it in here. 585 00:23:03,310 --> 00:23:04,310 Never make it in. 586 00:23:04,370 --> 00:23:06,090 This is Lainey. 587 00:23:06,091 --> 00:23:07,091 Naomi. 588 00:23:07,150 --> 00:23:08,150 This is my wife. 589 00:23:09,030 --> 00:23:09,510 Shots. 590 00:23:09,511 --> 00:23:10,711 I'm getting everybody's shots. 591 00:23:11,570 --> 00:23:14,130 Top shelf, bro, because we're rich as shit now. 592 00:23:14,390 --> 00:23:15,730 Okay, stop screaming. 593 00:23:15,970 --> 00:23:16,970 Rich as shit. 594 00:23:17,650 --> 00:23:19,890 Someone's gonna murder us if you keep screaming. 595 00:23:20,010 --> 00:23:20,590 I don't care. 596 00:23:20,870 --> 00:23:21,870 We're in a cool bar. 597 00:23:22,050 --> 00:23:23,570 I just bought a Tesla. 598 00:23:24,690 --> 00:23:25,490 That's not true. 599 00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:27,770 We are borrowing a Tesla to see if we like it. 600 00:23:27,950 --> 00:23:31,850 Listen, are you guys, um... Are you guys sleeping with each other? 601 00:23:32,030 --> 00:23:32,310 No. 602 00:23:32,470 --> 00:23:32,810 Oh, good. 603 00:23:32,910 --> 00:23:33,590 Oh my god, good. 604 00:23:33,770 --> 00:23:34,846 What are you guys talking about? 605 00:23:34,870 --> 00:23:36,610 I'm telling her not to have sex with you. 606 00:23:36,890 --> 00:23:37,250 Sorry. 607 00:23:37,570 --> 00:23:40,530 Yeah, well, you're too late because we lost our virginity to each other. 608 00:23:42,110 --> 00:23:43,190 Are you serious? 609 00:23:43,250 --> 00:23:43,890 You didn't know? 610 00:23:44,150 --> 00:23:44,990 Yeah, I just told him earlier. 611 00:23:45,130 --> 00:23:45,750 We all knew. 612 00:23:45,930 --> 00:23:46,930 You didn't know. 613 00:23:47,170 --> 00:23:48,590 That's a beautiful story. 614 00:23:48,950 --> 00:23:49,950 So romantic. 615 00:23:50,750 --> 00:23:51,650 Here we go. 616 00:23:51,690 --> 00:23:52,250 Bring it in. 617 00:23:52,330 --> 00:23:53,210 To virginity. 618 00:23:53,290 --> 00:23:54,290 To virginity. 619 00:23:54,650 --> 00:23:55,650 Get lost. 620 00:23:57,890 --> 00:23:58,890 There we go. 621 00:24:00,050 --> 00:24:01,050 That's good. 622 00:24:01,510 --> 00:24:03,430 Naomi still has her anal virginity. 623 00:24:03,830 --> 00:24:04,550 That's not true. 624 00:24:04,630 --> 00:24:06,690 A lot of guys have been up there, just not you. 625 00:24:06,730 --> 00:24:06,830 Oh. 626 00:24:06,930 --> 00:24:07,550 Oh, wait, wait. 627 00:24:07,590 --> 00:24:08,090 Girl, girl, girl. 628 00:24:08,210 --> 00:24:08,490 Laney. 629 00:24:08,670 --> 00:24:09,030 Laney. 630 00:24:09,031 --> 00:24:09,170 Laney. 631 00:24:09,250 --> 00:24:09,470 I'm sorry. 632 00:24:09,550 --> 00:24:09,870 I'm sorry. 633 00:24:09,990 --> 00:24:11,626 Quick question before you walk out the door. 634 00:24:11,650 --> 00:24:16,010 Are you the reason that my friend Jake here is, like, the biggest slut in the world? 635 00:24:16,550 --> 00:24:17,470 What are you doing? 636 00:24:17,550 --> 00:24:20,970 I'm saying, like, he puts his dick in, like, every sticky hole he finds. 637 00:24:21,010 --> 00:24:21,550 That's not true. 638 00:24:21,551 --> 00:24:22,070 It's gross. 639 00:24:22,450 --> 00:24:23,610 But, like, I'm Gels. 640 00:24:23,990 --> 00:24:26,390 No, I'm just kidding. 641 00:24:26,570 --> 00:24:27,370 I'm just kidding. 642 00:24:27,430 --> 00:24:28,270 I know it's not you. 643 00:24:28,390 --> 00:24:29,090 I know it's not you. 644 00:24:29,150 --> 00:24:30,810 I know it's because the dad molested him. 645 00:24:30,850 --> 00:24:31,850 What? 646 00:24:32,170 --> 00:24:33,350 Now everybody knows. 647 00:24:33,550 --> 00:24:34,690 He was a Boy Scout leader. 648 00:24:35,870 --> 00:24:36,870 You're welcome. 649 00:24:37,050 --> 00:24:37,530 You're welcome. 650 00:24:37,670 --> 00:24:39,510 I just set that up for you. 651 00:24:40,410 --> 00:24:41,710 Don't let her get away, man. 652 00:24:41,890 --> 00:24:43,410 Dude, you gotta chase after her. 653 00:24:44,050 --> 00:24:45,850 She's your lobster, man. 654 00:24:47,610 --> 00:24:48,610 She seems... 655 00:24:49,590 --> 00:24:49,990 awesome. 656 00:24:49,991 --> 00:24:50,991 Amazing. 657 00:24:51,650 --> 00:24:52,650 Lainey! 658 00:24:52,850 --> 00:24:53,710 Lainey, what are you doing? 659 00:24:53,850 --> 00:24:54,450 Where are you going? 660 00:24:54,550 --> 00:24:55,550 Sorry, sorry. 661 00:24:55,650 --> 00:24:57,970 I've just... I've got to thank you for tonight. 662 00:24:58,110 --> 00:24:58,450 It was great. 663 00:24:58,590 --> 00:25:00,910 Just go in and have fun with your friends. 664 00:25:01,130 --> 00:25:05,230 I just Facebooked you because I thought I should start dating again. 665 00:25:05,270 --> 00:25:06,210 I'm trying to get over this thing. 666 00:25:06,211 --> 00:25:07,451 Was this supposed to be a date? 667 00:25:09,210 --> 00:25:10,350 Oh, shit, it was. 668 00:25:11,730 --> 00:25:12,370 Oh, hell. 669 00:25:12,450 --> 00:25:13,190 I'm an idiot. 670 00:25:13,270 --> 00:25:13,690 I'm sorry. 671 00:25:13,750 --> 00:25:14,130 I'm a dick. 672 00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:15,090 I'm sorry. 673 00:25:15,150 --> 00:25:16,150 I didn't know. 674 00:25:16,690 --> 00:25:18,010 Hey, how about we go on the date? 675 00:25:18,235 --> 00:25:18,850 This is a date now. 676 00:25:18,970 --> 00:25:19,490 We'll go out. 677 00:25:19,570 --> 00:25:20,570 No notes. 678 00:25:21,550 --> 00:25:21,930 I'm just going on a date. 679 00:25:21,970 --> 00:25:22,790 No, this is good. 680 00:25:22,910 --> 00:25:23,450 I'll go inside. 681 00:25:23,550 --> 00:25:24,310 I'm gonna get my jacket. 682 00:25:24,390 --> 00:25:25,270 Then I'll come out. 683 00:25:25,350 --> 00:25:26,350 We'll, uh... 684 00:25:26,810 --> 00:25:27,810 date it up. 685 00:25:28,650 --> 00:25:29,370 Matthew Sobacek? 686 00:25:29,430 --> 00:25:31,770 That guy had all the charm of a broken Etch-A-Sketch. 687 00:25:32,010 --> 00:25:35,530 It feels so freeing to tell someone about it who actually knows him. 688 00:25:35,610 --> 00:25:37,106 Okay, you're gonna have to explain this to me. 689 00:25:37,130 --> 00:25:38,250 I mean, what, is he packing? 690 00:25:38,430 --> 00:25:38,790 Huh? 691 00:25:38,791 --> 00:25:39,350 Is that what's going on? 692 00:25:39,450 --> 00:25:39,710 No? 693 00:25:39,850 --> 00:25:40,810 Is it tipping hundreds? 694 00:25:40,870 --> 00:25:42,386 Read your Polar Express before bedtime? 695 00:25:42,410 --> 00:25:42,710 No. 696 00:25:42,990 --> 00:25:44,190 It's pretty average, actually. 697 00:25:45,170 --> 00:25:46,070 God damn it. 698 00:25:46,071 --> 00:25:47,610 Even his junk is boring. 699 00:25:48,015 --> 00:25:49,090 God damn boring dick. 700 00:25:50,390 --> 00:25:51,250 That's so weird. 701 00:25:51,310 --> 00:25:52,430 I mean, you're a catch, too. 702 00:25:52,990 --> 00:25:53,550 You know? 703 00:25:53,650 --> 00:25:54,190 I'm serious. 704 00:25:54,390 --> 00:25:55,750 You got a strong vocabulary. 705 00:25:56,190 --> 00:25:58,150 You look dynamite in a tank top. 706 00:25:58,270 --> 00:25:59,270 It's just, what gives? 707 00:25:59,620 --> 00:26:00,620 I can't... 708 00:26:04,130 --> 00:26:07,290 I guess I just thought eventually he'd choose me. 709 00:26:07,610 --> 00:26:08,610 Uh-huh. 710 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:10,230 And so I always chose him. 711 00:26:10,250 --> 00:26:11,910 If he texted, I'd think of an excuse. 712 00:26:12,030 --> 00:26:12,610 I'd lie. 713 00:26:12,710 --> 00:26:13,570 I'd get there. 714 00:26:13,571 --> 00:26:14,571 That's psychotic. 715 00:26:14,790 --> 00:26:15,790 Thanks. 716 00:26:15,970 --> 00:26:17,310 I mean, it's not your fault. 717 00:26:18,090 --> 00:26:19,090 You know? 718 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,760 Little girls are told that someday they're gonna find the one. 719 00:26:22,390 --> 00:26:25,230 What they don't tell you guys is that the one might be a complete fucking dickhead 720 00:26:25,231 --> 00:26:28,410 with a boring heroin penis that turns y 'all into a sex addict. 721 00:26:28,490 --> 00:26:29,750 That's what they leave out of... I'm not a sex addict. 722 00:26:29,930 --> 00:26:34,250 I went to a few meetings because my therapist suggested that I go, 723 00:26:34,390 --> 00:26:37,270 that it might help, but it didn't, so I stopped. 724 00:26:37,670 --> 00:26:37,990 Okay. 725 00:26:38,260 --> 00:26:39,260 What's your excuse? 726 00:26:39,790 --> 00:26:40,150 Me? 727 00:26:40,530 --> 00:26:40,890 Yeah. 728 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,086 My girlfriend said if I didn't go, she'd break up with me. 729 00:26:43,110 --> 00:26:44,210 So I went to a meeting. 730 00:26:44,290 --> 00:26:45,410 She broke up with me anyway. 731 00:26:45,710 --> 00:26:46,710 I'm cured. 732 00:26:46,750 --> 00:26:47,990 Well, why'd she want you to go? 733 00:26:48,290 --> 00:26:49,290 I don't know. 734 00:26:53,790 --> 00:27:00,010 She, some, have suggested that I have a little bit of a problem staying faithful 735 00:27:00,011 --> 00:27:03,970 for long periods of time, or possibly at all, I guess. 736 00:27:04,535 --> 00:27:06,490 And it all comes out. 737 00:27:06,550 --> 00:27:10,918 Look, once I come to the realization that I'm 738 00:27:10,919 --> 00:27:14,430 with the wrong girl, I don't know how to end it. 739 00:27:14,530 --> 00:27:17,250 So you sabotage it by sleeping with other people. 740 00:27:17,490 --> 00:27:17,870 Exactly. 741 00:27:18,410 --> 00:27:21,997 Obviously, they get upset, but then comes the big 742 00:27:22,077 --> 00:27:24,170 old rigmarole of like, you're afraid to commit. 743 00:27:24,290 --> 00:27:24,790 And it's like, no. 744 00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:26,710 I just don't want to commit to you. 745 00:27:26,740 --> 00:27:27,590 But I can't say that. 746 00:27:27,650 --> 00:27:29,110 That's like mean on top of mean. 747 00:27:29,290 --> 00:27:30,710 It's not you, it's me. 748 00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:33,360 I don't like you. 749 00:27:34,330 --> 00:27:35,190 You know, like that. 750 00:27:35,350 --> 00:27:35,750 Yeah, that's harsh. 751 00:27:35,990 --> 00:27:36,570 That's harsh, right? 752 00:27:36,590 --> 00:27:37,590 You can't say that. 753 00:27:37,740 --> 00:27:41,410 So instead, I'd rather just say something like, I fucked your sister. 754 00:27:41,690 --> 00:27:42,210 Much better. 755 00:27:42,450 --> 00:27:43,450 But it's honest. 756 00:27:44,430 --> 00:27:46,246 I don't have to fuck the sister in order for it to work. 757 00:27:46,270 --> 00:27:48,506 It's like I'd rather... Be the bad guy than tell the truth. 758 00:27:48,530 --> 00:27:48,710 See? 759 00:27:48,850 --> 00:27:49,330 You get it. 760 00:27:49,450 --> 00:27:51,170 Well, yeah, but I'm psychotic. 761 00:27:53,410 --> 00:27:55,290 But like an approachable psychotic. 762 00:27:55,780 --> 00:27:57,206 That's the thing I don't think I mentioned earlier. 763 00:27:57,230 --> 00:27:57,730 You like it? 764 00:27:57,870 --> 00:27:59,790 Yeah, it's like Ted Bundy, you know? 765 00:28:00,340 --> 00:28:02,490 You can't get him into a van by just being a jerk. 766 00:28:02,980 --> 00:28:04,830 You gotta have a certain way about you. 767 00:28:05,750 --> 00:28:06,530 If it takes. 768 00:28:06,570 --> 00:28:08,070 That would be something. 769 00:28:08,450 --> 00:28:09,110 Yes, yes, yes. 770 00:28:09,430 --> 00:28:10,430 I'm hungry again. 771 00:28:10,690 --> 00:28:11,690 Already? 772 00:28:12,430 --> 00:28:14,610 Well, you know, that's dim sum anyway. 773 00:28:14,870 --> 00:28:16,310 I have snacks at home. 774 00:28:16,610 --> 00:28:18,790 This is actually, this is my train. 775 00:28:18,990 --> 00:28:20,010 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 776 00:28:21,030 --> 00:28:23,210 So I'm probably gonna hit the road. 777 00:28:23,750 --> 00:28:25,510 Jake, thank you. 778 00:28:25,730 --> 00:28:26,730 Yeah. 779 00:28:27,770 --> 00:28:28,650 We did it. 780 00:28:28,690 --> 00:28:30,010 That was a good date. 781 00:28:30,270 --> 00:28:30,790 We did the date. 782 00:28:30,910 --> 00:28:34,410 I think it was the first date I've ever been on. 783 00:28:34,510 --> 00:28:35,826 So I don't really have much to compare it to. 784 00:28:35,850 --> 00:28:36,850 But it seems solid. 785 00:28:36,910 --> 00:28:37,270 Good. 786 00:28:37,670 --> 00:28:38,670 Okay. 787 00:28:39,470 --> 00:28:39,830 Shit. 788 00:28:39,831 --> 00:28:40,831 Shit. 789 00:28:41,370 --> 00:28:42,370 What? 790 00:28:43,530 --> 00:28:45,690 I, uh, I want to fuck you. 791 00:28:46,710 --> 00:28:47,110 What? 792 00:28:47,130 --> 00:28:47,530 No. 793 00:28:48,130 --> 00:28:49,130 What do you mean, no? 794 00:28:49,330 --> 00:28:49,670 What? 795 00:28:49,790 --> 00:28:51,890 What did I do? 796 00:28:51,910 --> 00:28:53,130 I mean, are you kidding me? 797 00:28:53,330 --> 00:28:54,450 It's kind of hard. 798 00:28:54,630 --> 00:28:55,230 I mean, look at you. 799 00:28:55,270 --> 00:28:57,110 I mean, you're so pretty and you're vulnerable. 800 00:28:57,270 --> 00:28:58,845 And it's just like, you might as well be wearing a sign 801 00:28:58,846 --> 00:29:00,646 that says, solve my problems with your penis, Jake. 802 00:29:00,670 --> 00:29:02,955 Jake, we just spent the entire evening talking about how 803 00:29:02,956 --> 00:29:04,910 we screw up every sexual relationship we've ever had. 804 00:29:04,911 --> 00:29:05,550 I know, right? 805 00:29:05,730 --> 00:29:07,070 I mean, and yet, here I am. 806 00:29:07,150 --> 00:29:08,530 Like, wanting this now. 807 00:29:08,570 --> 00:29:11,410 So maybe, we gotta just be friends. 808 00:29:11,430 --> 00:29:11,770 Yes. 809 00:29:11,950 --> 00:29:14,370 That is the mature, responsible thing to do. 810 00:29:14,630 --> 00:29:16,650 Uh, for each other and ourselves. 811 00:29:16,950 --> 00:29:17,590 Yes, I agree. 812 00:29:17,690 --> 00:29:19,046 Okay, but then we gotta come up with a system. 813 00:29:19,070 --> 00:29:21,038 If we're gonna be friends, you know, and I want to 814 00:29:21,062 --> 00:29:22,350 be good friends, but we gotta have a system here. 815 00:29:22,370 --> 00:29:27,970 So maybe, we come up with a safe word for if we're having sexual tension and then 816 00:29:27,971 --> 00:29:29,089 we'll stop whatever is creating So if you're 817 00:29:29,090 --> 00:29:30,210 doing something sexy or I'm doing something sexy. 818 00:29:30,330 --> 00:29:31,630 Okay, but it's mutual. 819 00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:32,490 So it is mutual. 820 00:29:32,710 --> 00:29:33,030 The word. 821 00:29:33,170 --> 00:29:34,210 You're saying it's mutual. 822 00:29:34,910 --> 00:29:35,270 It could be mutual. 823 00:29:35,510 --> 00:29:36,070 That's a yes. 824 00:29:36,110 --> 00:29:37,870 I may or may not need to use the word. 825 00:29:37,910 --> 00:29:38,650 We'll have to see in the future. 826 00:29:38,651 --> 00:29:39,170 Okay, well alright. 827 00:29:39,370 --> 00:29:39,870 What happens? 828 00:29:40,270 --> 00:29:41,750 We'll say, yeah, anything. 829 00:29:42,250 --> 00:29:42,870 I'll do anything. 830 00:29:43,070 --> 00:29:44,250 You pick it and yes. 831 00:29:44,450 --> 00:29:44,930 It's avocado. 832 00:29:45,230 --> 00:29:45,350 No. 833 00:29:45,390 --> 00:29:45,890 Can't do that. 834 00:29:45,990 --> 00:29:46,190 No. 835 00:29:46,810 --> 00:29:48,110 It's just immediate veto. 836 00:29:48,450 --> 00:29:49,526 Well, I mean, it's too sexual. 837 00:29:49,550 --> 00:29:50,550 It's too sexual. 838 00:29:50,730 --> 00:29:51,850 Avocado is too sexual. 839 00:29:51,851 --> 00:29:52,270 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 840 00:29:52,310 --> 00:29:54,126 I mean, you gotta see the way I eat an avocado. 841 00:29:54,150 --> 00:29:56,570 You'd be like, that's, you know, do that to me. 842 00:29:56,790 --> 00:29:57,790 That's a Guam. 843 00:29:58,290 --> 00:29:58,610 Guam? 844 00:29:58,710 --> 00:29:59,610 Like the country Guam? 845 00:29:59,630 --> 00:29:59,750 No. 846 00:29:59,970 --> 00:30:02,763 No, I knew a girl whose father was from Guam and she literally 847 00:30:02,764 --> 00:30:04,971 had one of the best natural bodies in her entire life. 848 00:30:05,050 --> 00:30:06,050 Noodle salad. 849 00:30:06,090 --> 00:30:06,730 Noodle salad? 850 00:30:06,750 --> 00:30:07,750 That's a sex thing. 851 00:30:07,870 --> 00:30:08,270 What? 852 00:30:08,570 --> 00:30:11,710 That's a bunch of guys putting flaccid dicks into someone's mouth. 853 00:30:11,810 --> 00:30:13,010 That's called a noodle salad. 854 00:30:13,230 --> 00:30:14,230 That is not a thing. 855 00:30:14,810 --> 00:30:17,010 I mean, it absolutely is a thing. 856 00:30:17,050 --> 00:30:17,590 I know it's a thing. 857 00:30:17,710 --> 00:30:18,990 Go to noodlesalad.org. 858 00:30:19,130 --> 00:30:20,250 Now I feel like you're just trying to find problems. 859 00:30:20,251 --> 00:30:20,810 That's a real story. 860 00:30:21,050 --> 00:30:23,526 I would make the argument that you're just suggesting 861 00:30:23,527 --> 00:30:25,871 only things that can only be perceived as sexual. 862 00:30:25,930 --> 00:30:27,266 Okay, it needs to be more violent. 863 00:30:27,290 --> 00:30:28,290 Something else. 864 00:30:28,450 --> 00:30:29,490 Dick in a mousetrap. 865 00:30:29,690 --> 00:30:30,090 Yikes! 866 00:30:30,130 --> 00:30:30,590 What is that? 867 00:30:30,850 --> 00:30:31,110 Oh! 868 00:30:31,190 --> 00:30:31,810 That's awful. 869 00:30:31,970 --> 00:30:32,530 You don't like it. 870 00:30:32,590 --> 00:30:32,790 No. 871 00:30:32,850 --> 00:30:33,390 That's the one. 872 00:30:33,570 --> 00:30:33,810 What? 873 00:30:33,850 --> 00:30:34,890 We'll shorten it to mousetrap. 874 00:30:34,910 --> 00:30:36,210 Thank you. 875 00:30:36,211 --> 00:30:36,410 Goodbye. 876 00:30:36,650 --> 00:30:37,050 Mousetrap. 877 00:30:37,150 --> 00:30:37,390 Alright. 878 00:30:37,770 --> 00:30:38,770 Goodbye. 879 00:30:38,970 --> 00:30:39,530 I'm going. 880 00:30:39,650 --> 00:30:40,330 I'm going for it. 881 00:30:40,430 --> 00:30:40,710 Yeah. 882 00:30:40,830 --> 00:30:41,510 Live on the edge. 883 00:30:41,730 --> 00:30:41,990 Goodnight. 884 00:30:42,330 --> 00:30:43,330 Careful. 885 00:30:43,650 --> 00:30:44,650 Bye! 886 00:30:45,750 --> 00:30:46,150 Bye! 887 00:30:46,590 --> 00:30:47,590 Bye! 888 00:30:49,150 --> 00:30:50,630 You're happy and you know it. 889 00:30:50,670 --> 00:30:51,670 Clap your hands. 890 00:30:51,890 --> 00:30:52,890 Yay! 891 00:30:53,250 --> 00:30:54,010 Good singing. 892 00:30:54,150 --> 00:30:54,310 Good. 893 00:30:54,430 --> 00:30:54,610 Alright. 894 00:30:54,710 --> 00:30:55,190 Free play. 895 00:30:55,390 --> 00:30:56,390 Everybody play. 896 00:30:56,870 --> 00:30:57,870 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 897 00:30:58,010 --> 00:30:59,230 No, no, no, no. 898 00:31:00,190 --> 00:31:01,610 Alexander had the ball first. 899 00:31:01,810 --> 00:31:03,210 Why didn't you take it from him? 900 00:31:05,110 --> 00:31:06,450 You gotta use your words. 901 00:31:06,530 --> 00:31:07,530 You don't do that. 902 00:31:07,570 --> 00:31:09,690 One of my students reminds me of you. 903 00:31:10,850 --> 00:31:11,970 He's devastatingly handsome. 904 00:31:13,730 --> 00:31:15,050 He reminds me of us. 905 00:31:15,410 --> 00:31:18,197 He has no one to play with and gets angry, so nobody 906 00:31:18,198 --> 00:31:20,730 wants to play with him because he's angry all the time. 907 00:31:22,290 --> 00:31:23,290 No dates, huh? 908 00:31:23,690 --> 00:31:24,690 Haven't met anyone. 909 00:31:24,810 --> 00:31:25,810 I've been busy. 910 00:31:26,230 --> 00:31:27,550 Studying for the MCATs, you know. 911 00:31:28,070 --> 00:31:28,510 You? 912 00:31:28,930 --> 00:31:29,370 Nothing. 913 00:31:29,770 --> 00:31:30,770 Nada. 914 00:31:32,250 --> 00:31:33,450 Have you texted Voldemort? 915 00:31:34,130 --> 00:31:35,570 Trying to distract myself. 916 00:31:36,230 --> 00:31:39,950 Sometimes I dress up in lingerie just to feel something. 917 00:31:40,350 --> 00:31:40,710 Oof. 918 00:31:41,230 --> 00:31:42,230 Mousetrap. 919 00:31:42,630 --> 00:31:44,390 You should text me what you want to text him. 920 00:31:45,830 --> 00:31:47,710 I miss your cock in my mouth. 921 00:31:48,030 --> 00:31:50,210 I miss the way you feel on top of me. 922 00:31:50,930 --> 00:31:52,770 I miss making you come. 923 00:31:53,370 --> 00:31:53,810 Oh! 924 00:31:54,310 --> 00:31:56,510 Since when are you a porn star with killer grammar? 925 00:31:56,750 --> 00:31:57,970 That's how I text with him. 926 00:31:58,310 --> 00:32:01,750 Okay, well you're sending porn star vibes instead of laney vibes. 927 00:32:02,010 --> 00:32:03,050 You're one to talk. 928 00:32:03,370 --> 00:32:05,970 You're a completely different guy with me than with other ladies. 929 00:32:06,290 --> 00:32:06,930 That's not true. 930 00:32:07,150 --> 00:32:09,450 If you want someone to fall for you, you gotta be you. 931 00:32:09,770 --> 00:32:12,530 Yeah, I don't think I like me enough to introduce him to other people. 932 00:32:13,070 --> 00:32:14,070 Night. 933 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:22,040 That was fun. 934 00:32:23,060 --> 00:32:24,060 Night. 935 00:32:26,300 --> 00:32:27,300 Night. 936 00:32:56,310 --> 00:33:04,310 Treat me like a fool Treat me mean and cruel But love me. 937 00:33:07,250 --> 00:33:08,250 ... 938 00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:22,880 Break my faithful heart tear it apart I would back and stand 939 00:33:26,140 --> 00:33:33,460 Just to feel I would back and stand just to feel Just to feel Just to feel Just 940 00:33:38,860 --> 00:33:42,680 to feel Treating close to mind He 941 00:33:54,510 --> 00:33:56,170 looked so make me It's normal. 942 00:33:56,610 --> 00:33:58,986 Like he hadn't even noticed that we stopped sleeping together. 943 00:33:59,010 --> 00:33:59,390 Oh, no, no. 944 00:33:59,450 --> 00:34:00,070 He noticed. 945 00:34:00,270 --> 00:34:02,030 He's just not thinking about it the same way. 946 00:34:02,590 --> 00:34:02,950 Right. 947 00:34:02,951 --> 00:34:03,310 Right. 948 00:34:03,370 --> 00:34:03,570 Great. 949 00:34:03,670 --> 00:34:05,710 I'm a guilty slut and he gets to be a... 950 00:34:05,711 --> 00:34:09,170 you know, heartless alpha male who fucking jogs. 951 00:34:09,171 --> 00:34:10,330 No, that's not it at all. 952 00:34:10,530 --> 00:34:11,730 No, to Sobacek, you're like... 953 00:34:12,230 --> 00:34:14,610 you're like the hardest drug at the coolest party, you know? 954 00:34:14,650 --> 00:34:16,106 Like in a second he has to make a decision. 955 00:34:16,130 --> 00:34:16,770 Do I go home now? 956 00:34:16,910 --> 00:34:18,410 Or cancel everything tomorrow? 957 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:20,890 You know, no premeditation means no postmeditation. 958 00:34:21,335 --> 00:34:25,090 It's not like months from now he's thinking, oh, gosh, I wonder how crack is doing. 959 00:34:25,565 --> 00:34:27,750 Or I hope cocaine isn't mad at me. 960 00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:29,466 You know, no dude thinks like that. 961 00:34:29,490 --> 00:34:30,490 Except Aaron Sorkin. 962 00:34:30,730 --> 00:34:32,050 Are you saying I'm crack cocaine? 963 00:34:32,250 --> 00:34:32,530 Yeah. 964 00:34:32,850 --> 00:34:33,890 Don't sell yourself short. 965 00:34:33,950 --> 00:34:35,506 We wouldn't have the West Wing without you. 966 00:34:35,530 --> 00:34:37,170 What is wrong with me? 967 00:34:37,450 --> 00:34:38,290 Nothing's wrong with you. 968 00:34:38,310 --> 00:34:38,730 Are you kidding me? 969 00:34:38,870 --> 00:34:39,450 You're great. 970 00:34:39,610 --> 00:34:40,310 I mean, you're funny. 971 00:34:40,530 --> 00:34:41,030 You're sexy. 972 00:34:41,190 --> 00:34:42,730 You're cool. 973 00:34:43,010 --> 00:34:44,010 Like... 974 00:34:44,870 --> 00:34:45,270 What? 975 00:34:45,271 --> 00:34:46,470 You run out of compliments? 976 00:34:46,770 --> 00:34:46,970 Yeah. 977 00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:48,640 No, do you remember that girl, Renee? 978 00:34:48,850 --> 00:34:50,770 I had a spectacular time with you last night. 979 00:34:50,910 --> 00:34:51,910 I'm at lunch. 980 00:34:52,450 --> 00:34:53,450 Just try calling you. 981 00:34:53,590 --> 00:34:55,430 Have you ever thought about taking a road trip? 982 00:34:55,690 --> 00:34:57,790 At least respond so I know you're alive and okay. 983 00:34:57,990 --> 00:34:59,030 GIF of a panda dancing. 984 00:34:59,450 --> 00:35:00,450 Seriously, are you okay? 985 00:35:00,570 --> 00:35:01,250 I was on the subway. 986 00:35:01,330 --> 00:35:01,890 Did you text me? 987 00:35:01,990 --> 00:35:02,830 Fuck me, then ignore me. 988 00:35:03,010 --> 00:35:03,710 Nice one, Jake. 989 00:35:03,890 --> 00:35:05,990 Photo of a dog dressed as a Nazi. 990 00:35:06,230 --> 00:35:06,950 I have chlamydia. 991 00:35:07,190 --> 00:35:08,310 Okay, I was joking. 992 00:35:08,490 --> 00:35:11,490 I do have HPV, though, and I hope it's the one that gives you dick cancer. 993 00:35:11,990 --> 00:35:12,990 Emoji of a heart. 994 00:35:13,210 --> 00:35:14,210 XXX, Renee. 995 00:35:15,890 --> 00:35:16,550 Well, that's sort of normal. 996 00:35:16,750 --> 00:35:18,150 You actively stalked someone today. 997 00:35:18,210 --> 00:35:20,390 Your perception of normal might be a little skewed, my dear. 998 00:35:20,410 --> 00:35:21,850 Okay, you slept with her. 999 00:35:22,050 --> 00:35:22,310 Mm-hmm. 1000 00:35:22,450 --> 00:35:23,570 You rocked her face. 1001 00:35:23,950 --> 00:35:24,190 Mm-hmm. 1002 00:35:24,230 --> 00:35:24,990 Yes, with my body. 1003 00:35:25,030 --> 00:35:26,030 You didn't call her. 1004 00:35:26,060 --> 00:35:27,570 I lost my phone in a cab. 1005 00:35:27,650 --> 00:35:29,350 And you unleashed her Khaleesi. 1006 00:35:29,945 --> 00:35:32,190 Wait, you mean like Game of Thrones Khaleesi? 1007 00:35:32,430 --> 00:35:32,650 Yes. 1008 00:35:33,380 --> 00:35:38,690 Either A, we make multiple babies with you, or B, we cut your dick off. 1009 00:35:40,290 --> 00:35:40,730 Jesus. 1010 00:35:40,731 --> 00:35:43,170 I got my fingers crossed out here for an option C. 1011 00:35:43,690 --> 00:35:45,910 C, you appease her. 1012 00:35:46,310 --> 00:35:47,790 And how do you appease your Khaleesi? 1013 00:35:48,140 --> 00:35:49,910 I spend about a month's rent on this. 1014 00:35:54,010 --> 00:35:55,010 What do you think? 1015 00:35:55,070 --> 00:35:55,510 Yeah. 1016 00:35:56,070 --> 00:35:58,250 I mean, you should definitely wear stuff over it. 1017 00:35:58,450 --> 00:35:59,450 Nice, Neg. 1018 00:35:59,750 --> 00:36:00,750 Mousetrap. 1019 00:36:07,790 --> 00:36:15,790 Dashing through the snow In a one-horse open sleigh Hey, you've reached Lainey. 1020 00:36:15,890 --> 00:36:16,890 It's a message. 1021 00:36:17,070 --> 00:36:18,110 Hey, dude, it's me. 1022 00:36:18,230 --> 00:36:20,013 Haven't heard from you in a while, so I'm gonna guess you 1023 00:36:20,014 --> 00:36:23,030 either finally fucked Jake or you got into med school. 1024 00:36:23,270 --> 00:36:25,070 Either way, mazel tov. 1025 00:36:25,110 --> 00:36:25,810 Happy Hanukkah. 1026 00:36:25,811 --> 00:36:26,986 Whatever the fuck you're into. 1027 00:36:27,010 --> 00:36:27,610 Okay, call me back. 1028 00:36:27,650 --> 00:36:29,770 Just pick a TV and we'll get out of here. 1029 00:36:29,870 --> 00:36:30,870 So tell me what happened. 1030 00:36:31,170 --> 00:36:31,730 Oh, right. 1031 00:36:31,830 --> 00:36:32,210 Okay, yeah. 1032 00:36:32,270 --> 00:36:33,670 So I've been seeing this gal, Thea. 1033 00:36:34,350 --> 00:36:35,350 She's black. 1034 00:36:35,590 --> 00:36:36,911 And... Wait, stop. 1035 00:36:37,070 --> 00:36:39,370 Does this story end with you doing something super racist? 1036 00:36:40,430 --> 00:36:41,490 Oh my God, no. 1037 00:36:42,150 --> 00:36:43,570 Why are you telling me she's black? 1038 00:36:45,190 --> 00:36:46,190 I don't know. 1039 00:36:46,350 --> 00:36:47,646 I'm just trying to give you a mental picture. 1040 00:36:47,670 --> 00:36:48,670 That's all. 1041 00:36:49,810 --> 00:36:50,810 Okay, racist. 1042 00:36:51,250 --> 00:36:52,250 Keep going. 1043 00:36:52,590 --> 00:36:54,770 Okay, well, we go see a movie during the day. 1044 00:36:54,771 --> 00:36:58,210 And she's super smart and cool and also gorgeous, but I do what we talked about. 1045 00:36:58,310 --> 00:36:59,470 I do not sleep with her. 1046 00:37:00,130 --> 00:37:01,130 You're so strong. 1047 00:37:01,450 --> 00:37:02,450 I'm so proud. 1048 00:37:02,570 --> 00:37:04,970 Hey, not all of us can remain celibate for a year, all right? 1049 00:37:05,110 --> 00:37:06,410 I was waiting for the right guy. 1050 00:37:07,170 --> 00:37:08,170 The white guy? 1051 00:37:08,330 --> 00:37:09,330 Who's racist now? 1052 00:37:10,070 --> 00:37:11,170 The right guy? 1053 00:37:11,590 --> 00:37:12,270 Oh, the right guy. 1054 00:37:12,410 --> 00:37:13,886 Oh, the one you waited for ten years? 1055 00:37:13,910 --> 00:37:14,490 That right guy? 1056 00:37:14,630 --> 00:37:15,430 You know, he's married now? 1057 00:37:15,530 --> 00:37:15,810 That one? 1058 00:37:16,460 --> 00:37:17,706 What are we doing in this aisle? 1059 00:37:17,730 --> 00:37:19,290 Can I finish my story, please? 1060 00:37:19,790 --> 00:37:22,570 I wait four days and I call her and we go out again. 1061 00:37:22,870 --> 00:37:23,310 Mm-hmm. 1062 00:37:23,311 --> 00:37:23,950 All right? 1063 00:37:24,130 --> 00:37:24,710 No sex. 1064 00:37:24,910 --> 00:37:27,450 I mean, we hook up, but I don't, like, finger her or anything. 1065 00:37:27,750 --> 00:37:28,070 Awesome. 1066 00:37:28,370 --> 00:37:30,566 So, I call her last night, and I'm like, hey, do 1067 00:37:30,567 --> 00:37:32,410 you want to go see the new Wes Anderson movie? 1068 00:37:32,670 --> 00:37:33,670 Ugh. 1069 00:37:33,990 --> 00:37:34,310 What? 1070 00:37:34,850 --> 00:37:37,490 Well, and then she's like... Jake, what are you doing? 1071 00:37:37,770 --> 00:37:39,150 And I'm like, oh, of course. 1072 00:37:39,210 --> 00:37:42,310 Wes Anderson's such a stupid white guy thing to suggest, you know? 1073 00:37:42,610 --> 00:37:44,810 Okay, racist and also done, yes. 1074 00:37:44,910 --> 00:37:45,090 Mm-hmm. 1075 00:37:45,210 --> 00:37:46,210 You two need any help? 1076 00:37:46,770 --> 00:37:47,830 Uh, no, no, we're good. 1077 00:37:47,870 --> 00:37:49,550 She just takes a while to make a decision. 1078 00:37:49,810 --> 00:37:50,130 Okay. 1079 00:37:50,190 --> 00:37:50,950 Yeah, you get it. 1080 00:37:51,010 --> 00:37:51,270 Yeah. 1081 00:37:51,271 --> 00:37:53,590 So, I'm like, well, do you want to go see something else? 1082 00:37:53,710 --> 00:37:56,190 And then she says... Why haven't we had sex yet? 1083 00:37:56,390 --> 00:37:57,630 Do you just want to be friends? 1084 00:37:57,910 --> 00:37:59,810 Because, honestly, I have enough friends. 1085 00:38:00,630 --> 00:38:01,630 Where are you right now? 1086 00:38:02,290 --> 00:38:03,290 Oh. 1087 00:38:03,990 --> 00:38:04,990 Oh. 1088 00:38:05,450 --> 00:38:06,450 Oh. 1089 00:38:06,990 --> 00:38:07,990 That was awesome. 1090 00:38:08,490 --> 00:38:09,510 Oh, my God. 1091 00:38:11,290 --> 00:38:12,290 Oh, golly. 1092 00:38:13,730 --> 00:38:15,170 Oh, sorry if I was too noisy. 1093 00:38:15,171 --> 00:38:16,171 I was like... 1094 00:38:16,490 --> 00:38:17,490 Oh, got in. 1095 00:38:17,910 --> 00:38:18,910 Hey. 1096 00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:21,200 Did you, uh... 1097 00:38:22,510 --> 00:38:22,990 No. 1098 00:38:23,310 --> 00:38:23,630 Oh. 1099 00:38:24,310 --> 00:38:25,470 But don't take it personally. 1100 00:38:25,830 --> 00:38:27,470 I don't know orgasm during sex that much. 1101 00:38:28,850 --> 00:38:29,330 So? 1102 00:38:29,870 --> 00:38:31,650 Lots of women don't come during sex. 1103 00:38:32,110 --> 00:38:32,490 So? 1104 00:38:32,990 --> 00:38:33,670 No, no, no. 1105 00:38:33,730 --> 00:38:35,206 That has never happened to me before. 1106 00:38:35,230 --> 00:38:36,350 What positions did you do? 1107 00:38:36,490 --> 00:38:37,030 Mm, no. 1108 00:38:37,170 --> 00:38:37,870 We did everything. 1109 00:38:38,150 --> 00:38:38,330 Why? 1110 00:38:38,350 --> 00:38:39,050 What's your favorite position? 1111 00:38:39,230 --> 00:38:39,770 I don't know. 1112 00:38:39,930 --> 00:38:40,930 The regular one. 1113 00:38:41,110 --> 00:38:42,190 The regular one? 1114 00:38:42,191 --> 00:38:43,191 Come on. 1115 00:38:43,890 --> 00:38:44,890 From behind. 1116 00:38:45,170 --> 00:38:45,610 Exactly. 1117 00:38:45,810 --> 00:38:46,550 Because you hate your dad. 1118 00:38:46,810 --> 00:38:47,810 Oh, my God. 1119 00:38:48,610 --> 00:38:49,090 Mousetrap. 1120 00:38:49,330 --> 00:38:49,970 All set? 1121 00:38:50,330 --> 00:38:50,630 Mm-hmm. 1122 00:38:50,631 --> 00:38:50,850 All set. 1123 00:38:50,870 --> 00:38:54,450 And can I just say, we think you two are the coolest married couple ever. 1124 00:38:54,850 --> 00:38:55,850 Mm-hmm. 1125 00:38:56,150 --> 00:38:57,590 That's... We don't get that enough. 1126 00:38:57,630 --> 00:38:57,810 It's so sweet. 1127 00:38:57,870 --> 00:38:58,450 Thank you. 1128 00:38:58,530 --> 00:38:59,070 It's really sweet. 1129 00:38:59,270 --> 00:38:59,670 Happy holidays. 1130 00:38:59,690 --> 00:38:59,970 Let's go, hon. 1131 00:38:59,971 --> 00:39:00,490 Happy holidays. 1132 00:39:00,510 --> 00:39:00,750 Yes. 1133 00:39:00,870 --> 00:39:02,990 We'll just... I will just meet you out by our minivan. 1134 00:39:03,190 --> 00:39:03,710 I'll meet you out front. 1135 00:39:03,830 --> 00:39:04,270 Okay, great. 1136 00:39:04,350 --> 00:39:05,110 We have to move the car seat. 1137 00:39:05,270 --> 00:39:05,590 Mm-hmm. 1138 00:39:05,630 --> 00:39:06,850 And then there will be... The whole thing. 1139 00:39:06,930 --> 00:39:07,930 Plenty of room. 1140 00:39:09,150 --> 00:39:09,710 Car seat? 1141 00:39:09,810 --> 00:39:10,810 You already have a kid? 1142 00:39:11,370 --> 00:39:13,750 You know, it's just like... I mean, when do you orgasm? 1143 00:39:13,870 --> 00:39:14,950 When does it happen to you? 1144 00:39:14,990 --> 00:39:15,910 When I'm with Matthew. 1145 00:39:15,911 --> 00:39:17,070 Yeah, yeah, okay. 1146 00:39:17,410 --> 00:39:18,410 And that's it. 1147 00:39:19,890 --> 00:39:20,890 That's it? 1148 00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:23,526 Okay, well, that just explained everything. 1149 00:39:23,550 --> 00:39:26,210 That, that's, I mean, you haven't had an orgasm in a year? 1150 00:39:28,630 --> 00:39:31,850 I think it's a little bit weird that a straight dude had to tell you that. 1151 00:39:31,890 --> 00:39:33,110 I think it's sort of great. 1152 00:39:33,510 --> 00:39:34,970 I mean, he's, he's actually dating. 1153 00:39:35,130 --> 00:39:38,430 He's not cheating, and I hardly think about Matthew, like, ever. 1154 00:39:38,690 --> 00:39:40,706 Yeah, because you're in a relationship with each other. 1155 00:39:40,730 --> 00:39:41,730 No, we're not. 1156 00:39:42,130 --> 00:39:43,450 Hell, you're not out there. 1157 00:39:43,610 --> 00:39:45,890 I mean, this Jay guy is hitting up the most people in the world. 1158 00:39:45,910 --> 00:39:48,830 It's emotional real estate that could be occupied by a real option, okay? 1159 00:39:48,950 --> 00:39:52,970 You lease this space out to Matthew, rent free I might add, and now you just 1160 00:39:52,971 --> 00:39:55,950 replace him with another unavailable avoidant breeder. 1161 00:39:56,030 --> 00:39:57,030 You don't fuck. 1162 00:40:00,590 --> 00:40:01,590 You got a minute? 1163 00:40:01,950 --> 00:40:02,950 Not really. 1164 00:40:03,010 --> 00:40:04,570 I'm kind of in the middle of something. 1165 00:40:05,350 --> 00:40:06,070 I was thinking. 1166 00:40:06,350 --> 00:40:07,350 Oh yeah? 1167 00:40:07,630 --> 00:40:10,350 Do you want to come to Henry's birthday party this weekend? 1168 00:40:11,770 --> 00:40:12,170 Really? 1169 00:40:12,570 --> 00:40:12,970 Yep. 1170 00:40:13,345 --> 00:40:16,550 Xander, in the eight years I've known you as a father, you have never once invited 1171 00:40:16,551 --> 00:40:18,066 me to any function involving your children. 1172 00:40:18,090 --> 00:40:18,490 Hear me out. 1173 00:40:18,690 --> 00:40:22,630 I was thinking maybe you and Lainey could come by. 1174 00:40:22,631 --> 00:40:23,250 I knew it. 1175 00:40:23,251 --> 00:40:23,410 No. 1176 00:40:24,070 --> 00:40:25,326 See, Lainey and I are not dating. 1177 00:40:25,350 --> 00:40:25,890 I know that. 1178 00:40:26,030 --> 00:40:26,230 Do you understand that? 1179 00:40:26,231 --> 00:40:27,671 I'm not saying you have to date her. 1180 00:40:27,715 --> 00:40:29,236 I'm not saying you have to come as a couple. 1181 00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:31,510 I'm just saying arrive at the party together. 1182 00:40:32,150 --> 00:40:34,790 Come as friends or whatever this fucked up thing you guys are doing is. 1183 00:40:34,791 --> 00:40:35,350 We're best friends. 1184 00:40:35,590 --> 00:40:36,590 No, we're best friends. 1185 00:40:36,690 --> 00:40:37,690 That's not true. 1186 00:40:37,730 --> 00:40:38,730 What? 1187 00:40:39,190 --> 00:40:42,830 Look, she's my best friend and I would say by circumstance and certainly duration, 1188 00:40:43,380 --> 00:40:44,666 you would be my next best friend. 1189 00:40:44,690 --> 00:40:44,850 Okay. 1190 00:40:45,090 --> 00:40:45,810 You know what? 1191 00:40:45,811 --> 00:40:46,811 I'll even allow that. 1192 00:40:47,020 --> 00:40:48,470 You're my last single friend. 1193 00:40:48,550 --> 00:40:49,950 I can't have you... So what? 1194 00:40:50,030 --> 00:40:51,370 ...add these things mingling single. 1195 00:40:51,371 --> 00:40:52,430 Hey, talk about... Yes? 1196 00:40:52,860 --> 00:40:54,406 We've been meeting with group sales in 20. 1197 00:40:54,430 --> 00:40:55,090 Are you two prepared? 1198 00:40:55,390 --> 00:40:55,530 Huh? 1199 00:40:55,670 --> 00:40:56,250 Not at all. 1200 00:40:56,460 --> 00:40:59,270 Should I reschedule the meeting when you are ready? 1201 00:40:59,390 --> 00:41:00,476 Five or six months from now? 1202 00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:02,090 I would make it a cool seven. 1203 00:41:02,250 --> 00:41:02,610 Yeah. 1204 00:41:02,870 --> 00:41:03,490 Seven, at least. 1205 00:41:03,650 --> 00:41:04,850 Shoot, I'm not available then. 1206 00:41:04,910 --> 00:41:05,910 Oh, well, I tried. 1207 00:41:06,210 --> 00:41:07,210 See you in 20? 1208 00:41:07,550 --> 00:41:08,550 You got it, boss. 1209 00:41:09,250 --> 00:41:10,250 Oh, you... 1210 00:41:10,510 --> 00:41:10,870 Mousetrap. 1211 00:41:11,170 --> 00:41:12,170 What the fuck is that? 1212 00:41:12,330 --> 00:41:13,030 That was repartee. 1213 00:41:13,250 --> 00:41:15,070 This is exactly why I can't have you at the party. 1214 00:41:15,071 --> 00:41:16,970 Because you have repartee with everybody. 1215 00:41:17,570 --> 00:41:18,570 You love repartee. 1216 00:41:19,070 --> 00:41:21,201 All you want to do is flit around the party, 1217 00:41:21,202 --> 00:41:24,091 flirt with the moms, and then they all get mad. 1218 00:41:24,130 --> 00:41:25,450 And then they turn on each other. 1219 00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:26,560 Then they yell at Naomi. 1220 00:41:26,905 --> 00:41:28,070 Then Naomi yells at me. 1221 00:41:28,475 --> 00:41:30,395 Then they won't let their kids play with my kids. 1222 00:41:30,770 --> 00:41:33,330 Then I have to play with my kids because my kids have no friends. 1223 00:41:33,450 --> 00:41:36,290 I'm raising friendless children because of you. 1224 00:41:36,390 --> 00:41:36,850 Do you understand? 1225 00:41:37,230 --> 00:41:40,990 I... It is a cascading shitstorm that is your creation. 1226 00:41:40,991 --> 00:41:44,830 There's a tremendous amount of Malcolm Gladwellian logic junk... Well, you spent... 1227 00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:47,990 10,000 hours fucking my life up. 1228 00:41:48,310 --> 00:41:49,530 So bring Lainey to the party. 1229 00:41:49,670 --> 00:41:50,170 Okay, fine. 1230 00:41:50,310 --> 00:41:55,430 I will, uh... You know, on behalf of your children and Naomi, I will, uh... 1231 00:41:55,431 --> 00:41:56,746 I'll talk to Lainey and see what we can do. 1232 00:41:56,770 --> 00:41:59,130 Listen, I'm not saying you and Lainey need to date. 1233 00:42:00,250 --> 00:42:03,991 I'm just saying for the first time, I'm a little 1234 00:42:03,992 --> 00:42:07,210 bit optimistic you might not become that creepy guy. 1235 00:42:08,390 --> 00:42:09,390 But he's got a point. 1236 00:42:09,530 --> 00:42:11,330 I'm gonna be the creepy old dude. 1237 00:42:11,590 --> 00:42:12,690 Like, that sucks. 1238 00:42:12,950 --> 00:42:15,050 And then what happens when my dick doesn't get as hard as yours? 1239 00:42:15,051 --> 00:42:15,690 Okay? 1240 00:42:15,910 --> 00:42:16,690 Because that's gonna happen. 1241 00:42:16,730 --> 00:42:17,590 It's gonna happen. 1242 00:42:17,630 --> 00:42:17,990 It's inevitable. 1243 00:42:18,210 --> 00:42:20,010 And young chicks don't put up with that shit. 1244 00:42:20,110 --> 00:42:21,146 They have no time for that. 1245 00:42:21,170 --> 00:42:25,590 And older women are gonna be no way near into my nonsense, okay? 1246 00:42:25,730 --> 00:42:27,210 Just not into it at all. 1247 00:42:27,590 --> 00:42:28,966 It's like, at that point, what do I do? 1248 00:42:28,990 --> 00:42:30,950 I just buy the fedora, move to Miami, right? 1249 00:42:31,210 --> 00:42:33,090 Make a golf cart my only mode of transportation? 1250 00:42:33,390 --> 00:42:34,650 I can't believe it. 1251 00:42:34,790 --> 00:42:35,190 You're spinning. 1252 00:42:35,191 --> 00:42:36,030 You're spinning and honestly... 1253 00:42:36,031 --> 00:42:38,387 I'm gonna have to get lucky and happy about, you 1254 00:42:38,388 --> 00:42:40,350 know, bachelor parties for people's third marriages. 1255 00:42:40,550 --> 00:42:41,110 Like, that's... 1256 00:42:41,210 --> 00:42:41,910 What is that? 1257 00:42:42,090 --> 00:42:43,090 That's crazy. 1258 00:42:44,310 --> 00:42:44,830 It's him. 1259 00:42:45,190 --> 00:42:46,190 Him who? 1260 00:42:47,350 --> 00:42:48,190 He never calls. 1261 00:42:48,250 --> 00:42:48,990 He always texts. 1262 00:42:49,250 --> 00:42:49,610 Oh, hey. 1263 00:42:49,670 --> 00:42:49,810 No. 1264 00:42:49,830 --> 00:42:50,570 Don't answer that. 1265 00:42:50,571 --> 00:42:50,850 Jake. 1266 00:42:50,890 --> 00:42:51,270 Don't answer it. 1267 00:42:51,271 --> 00:42:51,290 Jake. 1268 00:42:51,510 --> 00:42:51,570 No. 1269 00:42:51,670 --> 00:42:51,950 No. 1270 00:42:52,430 --> 00:42:52,790 Absolutely. 1271 00:42:52,791 --> 00:42:53,791 Baby, what are you doing? 1272 00:42:53,870 --> 00:42:53,990 Hey! 1273 00:42:54,090 --> 00:42:55,750 You don't do this anymore, okay? 1274 00:42:55,850 --> 00:42:56,150 Remember? 1275 00:42:56,510 --> 00:42:57,010 We're okay. 1276 00:42:57,170 --> 00:42:57,590 I'm sorry. 1277 00:42:57,690 --> 00:42:57,810 Yeah. 1278 00:42:57,970 --> 00:42:58,930 You gotta breathe, baby. 1279 00:42:58,990 --> 00:42:59,250 Please. 1280 00:42:59,310 --> 00:42:59,410 Please. 1281 00:42:59,430 --> 00:43:00,430 Is there a problem? 1282 00:43:00,470 --> 00:43:00,830 Yeah. 1283 00:43:01,150 --> 00:43:02,830 My wife, she's prone to panic attacks. 1284 00:43:02,970 --> 00:43:04,266 It's this guy she's sleeping with. 1285 00:43:04,290 --> 00:43:04,830 It's all right. 1286 00:43:05,170 --> 00:43:05,530 Okay. 1287 00:43:06,090 --> 00:43:07,650 Dude, get the fuck out of here! 1288 00:43:07,710 --> 00:43:08,710 I got it! 1289 00:43:14,830 --> 00:43:15,110 Will you? 1290 00:43:15,210 --> 00:43:15,550 Okay? 1291 00:43:15,890 --> 00:43:16,290 Okay? 1292 00:43:16,310 --> 00:43:16,470 Here. 1293 00:43:16,510 --> 00:43:16,810 Come on. 1294 00:43:16,811 --> 00:43:17,150 Sit down. 1295 00:43:17,430 --> 00:43:18,190 You're gonna be okay. 1296 00:43:18,390 --> 00:43:18,790 It's all right. 1297 00:43:18,890 --> 00:43:19,590 You gotta breathe. 1298 00:43:19,710 --> 00:43:20,110 Please. 1299 00:43:20,450 --> 00:43:21,450 Okay? 1300 00:43:21,670 --> 00:43:22,670 Okay? 1301 00:43:23,410 --> 00:43:23,810 Yeah. 1302 00:43:24,270 --> 00:43:25,270 There you go. 1303 00:43:25,550 --> 00:43:26,750 Lainey, this is just fear. 1304 00:43:27,290 --> 00:43:27,690 Right? 1305 00:43:27,750 --> 00:43:30,110 A really, really large dose of fear. 1306 00:43:33,030 --> 00:43:34,110 That's all that's going on. 1307 00:43:34,490 --> 00:43:35,490 A little adrenaline. 1308 00:43:35,610 --> 00:43:36,270 In the bad way. 1309 00:43:36,490 --> 00:43:37,490 Does that make sense? 1310 00:43:40,630 --> 00:43:41,630 Also... 1311 00:43:42,570 --> 00:43:42,970 Mousetrap. 1312 00:43:43,310 --> 00:43:44,810 A complete mess. 1313 00:43:44,811 --> 00:43:46,410 Total mousetrap right now. 1314 00:43:46,510 --> 00:43:47,510 Oh my god. 1315 00:43:47,950 --> 00:43:48,350 Stop. 1316 00:43:48,550 --> 00:43:49,710 You're so fucked up. 1317 00:43:49,810 --> 00:43:50,670 I'm fucked up? 1318 00:43:50,690 --> 00:43:51,470 What are you talking about? 1319 00:43:51,670 --> 00:43:54,770 You... You and Kathy Bates in misery in the middle of Central Park. 1320 00:43:54,930 --> 00:43:55,150 You know? 1321 00:43:55,550 --> 00:43:56,450 Come on. 1322 00:43:56,530 --> 00:43:57,490 Maybe we're both fucked up. 1323 00:43:57,510 --> 00:43:58,110 At least give me that. 1324 00:43:58,470 --> 00:43:58,950 Come on. 1325 00:43:58,970 --> 00:43:59,550 You wanna get out of here? 1326 00:43:59,770 --> 00:44:00,170 Yeah. 1327 00:44:00,270 --> 00:44:01,270 Central Park sucks. 1328 00:44:01,510 --> 00:44:03,910 I mean, it's just a goddamn bird toilet anyway. 1329 00:44:04,730 --> 00:44:05,730 Anyway, that's... 1330 00:44:07,830 --> 00:44:08,890 Just one more. 1331 00:44:11,810 --> 00:44:12,490 Just one more. 1332 00:44:12,690 --> 00:44:13,510 Just one more. 1333 00:44:13,511 --> 00:44:13,670 Just one more. 1334 00:44:13,671 --> 00:44:14,070 Just one more. 1335 00:44:14,290 --> 00:44:14,790 Just one more. 1336 00:44:14,791 --> 00:44:16,271 This is the greatest movie ever made. 1337 00:44:16,655 --> 00:44:17,726 Yeah, of course you love it. 1338 00:44:17,750 --> 00:44:18,430 I mean, look at it. 1339 00:44:18,570 --> 00:44:19,570 God, I love you. 1340 00:44:19,750 --> 00:44:20,750 That's you, baby. 1341 00:44:20,950 --> 00:44:21,950 I love you! 1342 00:44:22,050 --> 00:44:23,610 I'm gonna murder you while I love you! 1343 00:44:25,110 --> 00:44:26,630 It's the second time you've said that. 1344 00:44:26,810 --> 00:44:27,810 Said what? 1345 00:44:28,695 --> 00:44:32,070 You called me baby just now, and you said it the other day, too. 1346 00:44:33,530 --> 00:44:34,150 I'm sorry. 1347 00:44:34,410 --> 00:44:34,790 It's okay. 1348 00:44:34,910 --> 00:44:36,550 No, I mean, it was a total accident. 1349 00:44:36,590 --> 00:44:39,531 I don't know why I would... Huh. 1350 00:44:40,370 --> 00:44:41,370 Yeah. 1351 00:44:53,140 --> 00:44:54,300 Do you want to talk about it? 1352 00:44:57,800 --> 00:44:58,800 Talk about what? 1353 00:45:00,990 --> 00:45:02,840 We're not a couple, but we act like one. 1354 00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:10,680 Yeah. 1355 00:45:10,681 --> 00:45:11,360 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1356 00:45:11,700 --> 00:45:12,700 Um... 1357 00:45:14,220 --> 00:45:17,480 I mean, I guess I've been putting this conversation off for a while. 1358 00:45:17,620 --> 00:45:18,180 We don't have to. 1359 00:45:18,220 --> 00:45:19,060 No, no, no, no, no. 1360 00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:19,420 It's good. 1361 00:45:19,460 --> 00:45:19,720 It's good. 1362 00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:20,760 We should. 1363 00:45:20,860 --> 00:45:21,860 Um... 1364 00:45:24,260 --> 00:45:25,340 Okay, well... 1365 00:45:28,430 --> 00:45:32,120 You take this risk when you start sleeping with people. 1366 00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:33,320 You know, you, uh... 1367 00:45:34,310 --> 00:45:35,430 You risk losing them, right? 1368 00:45:36,750 --> 00:45:40,080 For me, you know, I've never slept with someone I wasn't willing to lose. 1369 00:45:43,510 --> 00:45:44,510 Except one time. 1370 00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:47,520 And, um... 1371 00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:52,760 And it kills me that you're probably gonna go to Michigan. 1372 00:45:54,260 --> 00:45:55,861 And it kills me that I can't ask you to stay 1373 00:45:55,885 --> 00:45:58,060 because I have no right to, you know, and... 1374 00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:00,700 So I just want to... 1375 00:46:01,980 --> 00:46:04,300 Spend as much time with my best friend as I possibly can... 1376 00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:07,560 Before I lose her again. 1377 00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:12,560 I'm sorry. 1378 00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:13,200 I'm being selfish. 1379 00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:14,240 I know it's like... No. 1380 00:46:14,670 --> 00:46:15,670 You're telling the truth. 1381 00:46:18,220 --> 00:46:19,220 Yeah. 1382 00:46:29,890 --> 00:46:30,890 So what now? 1383 00:46:53,570 --> 00:46:54,570 Will you... 1384 00:46:58,330 --> 00:47:00,650 Take Molly with me and go to a kid's birthday party? 1385 00:47:02,090 --> 00:47:04,090 I literally thought you'd never ask. 1386 00:47:05,170 --> 00:47:06,530 You thought I'd never get to this? 1387 00:47:06,630 --> 00:47:08,150 I thought you would never get to this. 1388 00:47:08,410 --> 00:47:10,450 You... Where have you been all my life? 1389 00:47:10,550 --> 00:47:11,550 I've... 1390 00:47:12,430 --> 00:47:13,550 Right over your shoulder. 1391 00:47:15,230 --> 00:47:17,150 Waiting... For the right moment. 1392 00:47:17,570 --> 00:47:18,190 For the right moment. 1393 00:47:18,590 --> 00:47:19,630 Is that a yes or a no? 1394 00:47:23,170 --> 00:47:24,170 Happy birthday! 1395 00:47:25,630 --> 00:47:26,510 Look who it is. 1396 00:47:26,550 --> 00:47:26,910 Look at this. 1397 00:47:26,911 --> 00:47:28,111 What a human we are, isn't it? 1398 00:47:28,170 --> 00:47:28,390 Hello. 1399 00:47:28,690 --> 00:47:29,490 Happy birthday. 1400 00:47:29,550 --> 00:47:29,790 Hi. 1401 00:47:29,791 --> 00:47:30,470 Happy birthday. 1402 00:47:30,490 --> 00:47:30,930 It's your birthday. 1403 00:47:30,931 --> 00:47:31,350 It's your birthday. 1404 00:47:31,490 --> 00:47:33,170 Actually, it's, uh... It's Henry. 1405 00:47:33,290 --> 00:47:33,690 He's seven. 1406 00:47:34,070 --> 00:47:35,070 She's not seven. 1407 00:47:35,150 --> 00:47:35,410 Oh. 1408 00:47:35,430 --> 00:47:35,650 Oh my god. 1409 00:47:35,651 --> 00:47:36,666 I'm so happy you guys are here. 1410 00:47:36,690 --> 00:47:37,690 Oh my god. 1411 00:47:38,670 --> 00:47:39,370 Hi, you guys. 1412 00:47:39,430 --> 00:47:39,690 Hi. 1413 00:47:39,950 --> 00:47:40,950 We're actually rolling. 1414 00:47:41,570 --> 00:47:41,950 Ecstasy? 1415 00:47:42,130 --> 00:47:42,310 Yeah. 1416 00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:44,520 You know, that's how actually Henry was conceived. 1417 00:47:44,670 --> 00:47:44,990 No kidding. 1418 00:47:45,230 --> 00:47:45,490 Yeah. 1419 00:47:45,910 --> 00:47:46,610 Well, that explains a lot. 1420 00:47:46,611 --> 00:47:47,050 It's a full circle. 1421 00:47:47,270 --> 00:47:47,550 Yeah. 1422 00:47:47,570 --> 00:47:48,650 Don't have a baby, guys. 1423 00:47:49,090 --> 00:47:50,890 No offense, but seriously, just... 1424 00:47:51,310 --> 00:47:51,610 Yeah. 1425 00:47:51,770 --> 00:47:52,330 Be safe. 1426 00:47:52,510 --> 00:47:53,050 You know what I mean? 1427 00:47:53,390 --> 00:47:54,626 But I'm so happy you guys are here. 1428 00:47:54,650 --> 00:47:54,850 Okay. 1429 00:47:54,870 --> 00:47:56,050 It's so good to see you. 1430 00:47:56,051 --> 00:47:56,250 Oh. 1431 00:47:56,650 --> 00:47:58,290 Transformer guy didn't show up, so... Are you kidding? 1432 00:47:58,370 --> 00:47:58,870 No, no, no. 1433 00:47:58,990 --> 00:47:59,990 Oh my god. 1434 00:48:00,050 --> 00:48:00,570 Just kidding. 1435 00:48:00,730 --> 00:48:01,030 No. 1436 00:48:01,230 --> 00:48:01,530 Okay. 1437 00:48:01,970 --> 00:48:02,270 No. 1438 00:48:02,430 --> 00:48:03,858 And so there's a little bit of a meltdown, so it's 1439 00:48:03,882 --> 00:48:05,310 a little bit of a crisis, so I'm glad you're here. 1440 00:48:05,510 --> 00:48:06,510 Oh, is this for Henry? 1441 00:48:06,610 --> 00:48:06,850 Yeah. 1442 00:48:06,970 --> 00:48:07,850 Oh, great. 1443 00:48:07,950 --> 00:48:09,970 He loves New York ladies flip flops. 1444 00:48:09,990 --> 00:48:10,330 Oh, no, no. 1445 00:48:10,331 --> 00:48:10,710 Those are mine. 1446 00:48:10,770 --> 00:48:11,230 Those are for me. 1447 00:48:11,270 --> 00:48:13,350 Those are for me. 1448 00:48:13,351 --> 00:48:13,670 Great. 1449 00:48:13,770 --> 00:48:14,770 Okay. 1450 00:48:14,810 --> 00:48:15,570 That'll be nice. 1451 00:48:15,650 --> 00:48:17,250 Are those hot pads also for me? 1452 00:48:17,290 --> 00:48:17,530 Yes. 1453 00:48:17,690 --> 00:48:18,130 Okay. 1454 00:48:18,131 --> 00:48:19,291 But can I just hold them now? 1455 00:48:19,890 --> 00:48:20,330 Sure. 1456 00:48:20,430 --> 00:48:20,750 Okay. 1457 00:48:20,810 --> 00:48:21,390 Come in. 1458 00:48:21,490 --> 00:48:21,830 Okay. 1459 00:48:21,970 --> 00:48:23,770 Hopefully she goes down for the nap. 1460 00:48:24,790 --> 00:48:25,230 Okay. 1461 00:48:25,330 --> 00:48:26,370 Oh my god. 1462 00:48:26,450 --> 00:48:26,670 Oh, man. 1463 00:48:26,671 --> 00:48:27,030 It's Carlton. 1464 00:48:27,470 --> 00:48:28,070 Oh, wow. 1465 00:48:28,130 --> 00:48:28,350 This is way hard. 1466 00:48:28,351 --> 00:48:29,351 That kid has a hose. 1467 00:48:29,490 --> 00:48:29,650 Huh? 1468 00:48:29,770 --> 00:48:30,070 Oh. 1469 00:48:30,130 --> 00:48:31,290 That kid has a hose. 1470 00:48:31,350 --> 00:48:32,350 You guys made it, huh? 1471 00:48:32,410 --> 00:48:33,870 Welcome to the hellscape. 1472 00:48:33,871 --> 00:48:35,210 It is my son's birthday party. 1473 00:48:36,210 --> 00:48:37,210 It's birth control. 1474 00:48:37,350 --> 00:48:37,590 Okay. 1475 00:48:37,650 --> 00:48:38,650 Why don't I say hello? 1476 00:48:38,690 --> 00:48:39,690 You're 1477 00:48:43,090 --> 00:48:44,790 Ms. Dalton, so you say hi. 1478 00:48:45,030 --> 00:48:46,250 Hi, Ms. Dalton. 1479 00:48:47,310 --> 00:48:47,590 Oh, yeah. 1480 00:48:47,591 --> 00:48:47,910 Great. 1481 00:48:47,950 --> 00:48:48,150 Okay. 1482 00:48:48,190 --> 00:48:49,206 Who wants to learn a dance? 1483 00:48:49,230 --> 00:48:49,390 Me. 1484 00:48:49,790 --> 00:48:50,190 Yeah. 1485 00:48:50,510 --> 00:48:50,910 Okay. 1486 00:48:50,970 --> 00:48:51,770 Everybody go out to the ground. 1487 00:48:51,970 --> 00:48:58,240 Naomi put on track seven on my workout fix. 1488 00:48:58,600 --> 00:48:59,000 Wait. 1489 00:48:59,040 --> 00:48:59,400 Hey, Lainey. 1490 00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:00,980 You don't have to do this. 1491 00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:02,300 It's not your responsibility. 1492 00:49:02,500 --> 00:49:02,860 Okay. 1493 00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:04,200 Relax. 1494 00:49:04,660 --> 00:49:05,660 We do this for a living. 1495 00:49:05,830 --> 00:49:09,440 Also, two minutes ago, I accepted my body for the first time. 1496 00:49:10,300 --> 00:49:10,800 Atta girl. 1497 00:49:11,220 --> 00:49:11,620 Okay. 1498 00:49:11,860 --> 00:49:13,380 She dances for a living? 1499 00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:14,440 No. 1500 00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:15,080 It deals with kids. 1501 00:49:15,200 --> 00:49:18,720 She told me to relax and the word lasted for like four seconds. 1502 00:49:19,700 --> 00:49:21,300 Okay, okay, great. 1503 00:49:21,460 --> 00:49:23,300 All right, are you guys ready to learn a dance? 1504 00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:23,660 Yeah! 1505 00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:24,480 Yes! 1506 00:49:24,481 --> 00:49:28,600 Okay, this is good because everybody likes a person that can dance. 1507 00:49:28,740 --> 00:49:30,940 And this dance, you can do anywhere. 1508 00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:34,181 All you need is your... Body! 1509 00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:34,760 Yes! 1510 00:49:35,100 --> 00:49:37,240 And, and just a little... Feet! 1511 00:49:37,720 --> 00:49:38,080 Yes! 1512 00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:40,240 Okay, you guys ready to learn the moves? 1513 00:49:40,340 --> 00:49:41,496 You ready to learn the moves? 1514 00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:41,780 Yes! 1515 00:49:41,940 --> 00:49:43,680 Okay, let's do this! 1516 00:49:51,900 --> 00:49:53,140 My way to stay in. 1517 00:50:12,720 --> 00:50:17,300 Ugh, I miss drugs. 1518 00:50:17,380 --> 00:50:18,840 Why don't we do drugs? 1519 00:50:18,900 --> 00:50:22,280 Because we have to control these lives that we gave birth to. 1520 00:50:23,060 --> 00:50:24,860 First of all, I gave birth to. 1521 00:50:25,020 --> 00:50:26,400 We gave birth to? 1522 00:50:42,790 --> 00:50:47,610 I have not felt that free, maybe, my whole life. 1523 00:50:47,870 --> 00:50:48,110 What? 1524 00:50:48,350 --> 00:50:51,670 I don't want that. 1525 00:50:51,810 --> 00:50:52,070 Here we go. 1526 00:50:52,150 --> 00:50:53,150 What are you doing? 1527 00:50:53,670 --> 00:50:55,790 Okay, okay, he's gonna put his dog to it. 1528 00:50:55,970 --> 00:50:59,290 Hey, all right, hey, now we're gonna, now it's time to freestyle. 1529 00:50:59,550 --> 00:51:00,630 Who knows how to freestyle? 1530 00:51:00,770 --> 00:51:00,910 Me! 1531 00:51:01,190 --> 00:51:02,606 All right, all right, grab your folks. 1532 00:51:02,630 --> 00:51:03,630 Who's the choreographer? 1533 00:51:03,690 --> 00:51:05,150 Oh, that's Jake's friend, Laney. 1534 00:51:05,430 --> 00:51:07,990 Jake's friend, Laney, who he really wants to fuck. 1535 00:51:08,110 --> 00:51:08,210 Yeah. 1536 00:51:08,450 --> 00:51:10,510 He really wants to get deep, deep up in there. 1537 00:51:10,710 --> 00:51:10,750 Like, bad. 1538 00:51:10,751 --> 00:51:11,070 Like, gross. 1539 00:51:11,270 --> 00:51:11,630 Mm-hmm. 1540 00:51:11,830 --> 00:51:12,830 So, is he single? 1541 00:51:12,870 --> 00:51:13,570 Oh, 100%. 1542 00:51:13,571 --> 00:51:14,571 Yeah. 1543 00:51:33,900 --> 00:51:35,340 This was an awful idea. 1544 00:51:37,100 --> 00:51:38,520 Oh, wow, that's weird. 1545 00:51:38,580 --> 00:51:40,380 I can hear my mom's voice when I'm underwater. 1546 00:51:40,820 --> 00:51:42,340 Oh, this is good stuff. 1547 00:51:42,620 --> 00:51:43,620 Excuse me. 1548 00:51:44,020 --> 00:51:44,680 I'm Chris. 1549 00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:45,840 This is Paul. 1550 00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:46,880 Laney. 1551 00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:47,520 Jake. 1552 00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:49,160 Ah, hi, you two. 1553 00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:50,200 Are you guys married? 1554 00:51:50,860 --> 00:51:51,840 This is my son. 1555 00:51:51,860 --> 00:51:52,080 Hi. 1556 00:51:52,780 --> 00:51:53,000 I'm going to do this with you. 1557 00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:54,020 Didn't you, buddy? 1558 00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:56,560 Dude, are you really using your kid to hit on my friend? 1559 00:51:56,740 --> 00:51:57,200 Shut up. 1560 00:51:57,460 --> 00:51:57,960 Ignore him. 1561 00:51:58,020 --> 00:51:58,560 He's on drugs. 1562 00:51:58,740 --> 00:51:58,980 Ah. 1563 00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:00,440 Aw, nice to meet you. 1564 00:52:00,720 --> 00:52:04,300 We're heading out, but here's my info in case you feel like you might need it. 1565 00:52:05,220 --> 00:52:05,820 Come on, buddy. 1566 00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:06,700 You can drive. 1567 00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:07,920 Oh, boy. 1568 00:52:08,060 --> 00:52:09,600 In case you might need it? 1569 00:52:09,660 --> 00:52:11,180 Why would you need his info? 1570 00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:13,040 You're jealous. 1571 00:52:14,270 --> 00:52:17,320 I'm going to assume it's because you're coming down with a powerful drug. 1572 00:52:17,420 --> 00:52:18,820 First part false, second part true. 1573 00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:19,880 Chris Smith. 1574 00:52:20,240 --> 00:52:21,240 Hold on, what? 1575 00:52:21,740 --> 00:52:22,540 His name's Chris Smith? 1576 00:52:22,541 --> 00:52:23,541 Is that it? 1577 00:52:23,940 --> 00:52:24,940 It is? 1578 00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:27,440 As in Chris Smith tree? 1579 00:52:28,540 --> 00:52:29,620 As in Chris Smith girl? 1580 00:52:29,860 --> 00:52:30,100 No. 1581 00:52:30,580 --> 00:52:31,580 Holy smokes. 1582 00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:33,880 I always thought you'd be heavier with a beard. 1583 00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:34,700 He's a little old. 1584 00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:35,380 I love it. 1585 00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:35,700 It's great. 1586 00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:36,400 OK. 1587 00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:37,706 I'm going to try again, all right? 1588 00:52:37,730 --> 00:52:39,236 Just see if any of the water goes down. 1589 00:52:39,260 --> 00:52:40,020 I'm going to see how much I can drink. 1590 00:52:40,180 --> 00:52:41,180 Here we go. 1591 00:52:45,900 --> 00:52:47,420 I love those rush hour movies. 1592 00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:48,480 Oh, my God. 1593 00:52:48,720 --> 00:52:50,880 Anything that that African-American guy says. 1594 00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:51,680 Anything at all. 1595 00:52:51,720 --> 00:52:52,180 And I'm laughing. 1596 00:52:52,181 --> 00:52:52,620 You know? 1597 00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:52,900 Oh. 1598 00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:53,580 Uh-huh. 1599 00:52:53,980 --> 00:52:54,540 Yeah. 1600 00:52:54,980 --> 00:52:56,140 That was dumb. 1601 00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:56,920 No, crisp. 1602 00:52:57,180 --> 00:52:57,940 It's fine. 1603 00:52:58,140 --> 00:52:58,680 They're great. 1604 00:52:58,720 --> 00:52:59,720 They're such good movies. 1605 00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:01,500 I was married for eight years. 1606 00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:05,800 I just haven't done this in a while. 1607 00:53:06,760 --> 00:53:07,760 Me neither. 1608 00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:10,880 You okay? 1609 00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:12,560 Yeah. 1610 00:53:12,900 --> 00:53:13,900 Yeah. 1611 00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:15,040 Ugh. 1612 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:25,560 Be rude to him. 1613 00:53:30,770 --> 00:53:31,770 Yeah. 1614 00:53:32,630 --> 00:53:33,630 Yeah. 1615 00:53:34,870 --> 00:53:35,870 Yeah. 1616 00:53:36,530 --> 00:53:37,530 Oh. 1617 00:53:37,730 --> 00:53:38,730 Oh. 1618 00:53:40,470 --> 00:53:41,950 That was ridiculous. 1619 00:53:45,115 --> 00:53:46,210 The dirty DJ was our thing. 1620 00:53:46,590 --> 00:53:47,590 Okay? 1621 00:53:47,730 --> 00:53:48,170 Jay. 1622 00:53:48,310 --> 00:53:48,830 That was our thing. 1623 00:53:49,010 --> 00:53:51,030 Okay, let me be super clear here. 1624 00:53:51,190 --> 00:53:51,390 Mm-hmm. 1625 00:53:51,410 --> 00:53:51,830 Please. 1626 00:53:52,090 --> 00:53:54,650 We don't have things that are sexual. 1627 00:53:55,110 --> 00:53:56,530 We don't sleep with each other. 1628 00:53:56,930 --> 00:53:58,730 So we don't have things. 1629 00:53:59,210 --> 00:54:00,630 Okay, but you know what I mean. 1630 00:54:00,790 --> 00:54:01,310 All right? 1631 00:54:01,330 --> 00:54:02,330 Alright? 1632 00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:04,390 I taught you that as a gift to you. 1633 00:54:04,430 --> 00:54:07,110 That was not a Chris Smith gift, okay? 1634 00:54:07,230 --> 00:54:09,626 So I don't get mad when you bring other chicks to our restaurant? 1635 00:54:09,650 --> 00:54:10,650 Our restaurant? 1636 00:54:10,810 --> 00:54:12,270 Oh, thank you, yeah. 1637 00:54:12,350 --> 00:54:13,350 Our restaurant. 1638 00:54:13,610 --> 00:54:15,570 I didn't know we put a down payment on this place. 1639 00:54:15,850 --> 00:54:16,510 Come on. 1640 00:54:16,690 --> 00:54:20,510 You know, I love that you get ownership over a randomly selected dumpling spot, 1641 00:54:20,670 --> 00:54:21,090 but me? 1642 00:54:21,190 --> 00:54:23,958 I can't share with you the slightest disappointment 1643 00:54:23,959 --> 00:54:25,830 over you co-opting an original idea of mine. 1644 00:54:26,030 --> 00:54:29,890 Okay, first of all, you're not the Mark Zuckerberg of vaginas. 1645 00:54:29,891 --> 00:54:30,906 No, I don't know who that is. 1646 00:54:30,930 --> 00:54:36,030 And secondly, do not gaslight me with SAT words and sliding scale morality. 1647 00:54:36,290 --> 00:54:37,110 I'm not one of your dates. 1648 00:54:37,170 --> 00:54:37,930 That is very true. 1649 00:54:38,070 --> 00:54:39,286 No, you are not one of my dates. 1650 00:54:39,310 --> 00:54:39,610 And I'm glad. 1651 00:54:39,710 --> 00:54:41,790 No, the lady doesn't need it. 1652 00:54:41,791 --> 00:54:42,350 She doesn't deserve it. 1653 00:54:42,450 --> 00:54:43,450 We appreciate that. 1654 00:54:43,451 --> 00:54:43,510 I would like that, please. 1655 00:54:43,511 --> 00:54:44,410 I actually would like the water, please. 1656 00:54:44,411 --> 00:54:45,790 Sir, I can't stress enough. 1657 00:54:45,970 --> 00:54:47,670 If we give her water, I don't know what happens. 1658 00:54:47,671 --> 00:54:47,870 Give me the water. 1659 00:54:47,871 --> 00:54:48,490 You need to give me this water. 1660 00:54:48,491 --> 00:54:48,850 See, she's addicted. 1661 00:54:49,110 --> 00:54:49,670 She's addicted. 1662 00:54:49,671 --> 00:54:50,671 This is an addict. 1663 00:54:50,750 --> 00:54:52,550 I've seen it a hundred times with her. 1664 00:54:52,810 --> 00:54:53,810 You gotta trust me. 1665 00:54:53,990 --> 00:54:55,910 You have lost your mind. 1666 00:54:56,190 --> 00:54:57,990 Well, you have lost your water. 1667 00:54:58,350 --> 00:54:58,710 God. 1668 00:54:58,790 --> 00:54:59,790 So? 1669 00:55:00,015 --> 00:55:01,230 I guess we're tied. 1670 00:55:02,590 --> 00:55:05,050 I want to be able to talk to you about this kind of thing. 1671 00:55:05,210 --> 00:55:05,970 I sense that. 1672 00:55:06,050 --> 00:55:06,590 That's obvious. 1673 00:55:06,730 --> 00:55:07,370 I just don't know why. 1674 00:55:07,610 --> 00:55:09,710 You talk to me about Chicks Who Screw all the time. 1675 00:55:09,890 --> 00:55:10,890 That's different. 1676 00:55:13,050 --> 00:55:13,430 Why? 1677 00:55:13,770 --> 00:55:14,970 Because I'm going inside them. 1678 00:55:15,030 --> 00:55:16,630 You're talking about someone inside you. 1679 00:55:17,330 --> 00:55:17,710 Stop. 1680 00:55:18,330 --> 00:55:19,330 Grody. 1681 00:55:20,690 --> 00:55:24,270 This is the beater contract that has to go to legal for comments. 1682 00:55:24,710 --> 00:55:25,290 Knock, knock. 1683 00:55:25,510 --> 00:55:26,510 Hey, you got a minute? 1684 00:55:27,930 --> 00:55:28,930 I mean... 1685 00:55:29,350 --> 00:55:29,970 A real minute? 1686 00:55:30,270 --> 00:55:30,890 New York minute? 1687 00:55:30,990 --> 00:55:31,210 I don't know. 1688 00:55:31,250 --> 00:55:31,850 Yeah, a real minute. 1689 00:55:31,890 --> 00:55:32,370 Sixty seconds. 1690 00:55:32,790 --> 00:55:33,070 Sure. 1691 00:55:33,570 --> 00:55:34,570 Okay. 1692 00:55:34,610 --> 00:55:35,610 Um... 1693 00:55:35,900 --> 00:55:36,690 What was the other thing? 1694 00:55:36,730 --> 00:55:38,026 Oh, yeah, buzz me for the three o'clock. 1695 00:55:38,050 --> 00:55:38,410 And that's it. 1696 00:55:38,710 --> 00:55:38,990 Okay. 1697 00:55:39,050 --> 00:55:40,050 Yeah, don't fuck that up. 1698 00:55:42,370 --> 00:55:43,190 You don't let them have it. 1699 00:55:43,350 --> 00:55:45,050 Hey, will you sign this for me, please? 1700 00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:47,126 Well, I have to know what it is first. 1701 00:55:47,150 --> 00:55:48,790 It's a nullification of my contract. 1702 00:55:49,700 --> 00:55:52,690 It says I resign and forfeit any vesting stock options to Xander. 1703 00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:55,200 And why would you do that? 1704 00:55:56,510 --> 00:55:56,790 Oh. 1705 00:55:57,050 --> 00:55:57,330 Right. 1706 00:55:57,390 --> 00:55:57,510 No. 1707 00:55:57,570 --> 00:55:59,170 Because I want to go on a date with you. 1708 00:55:59,350 --> 00:55:59,710 Silly. 1709 00:56:00,210 --> 00:56:01,526 Uh, you can just sign the back here. 1710 00:56:01,550 --> 00:56:02,230 Three places. 1711 00:56:02,470 --> 00:56:03,790 You can use my pen if you'd like. 1712 00:56:04,195 --> 00:56:06,610 And as you can see, I've executed my half, so... 1713 00:56:07,070 --> 00:56:09,830 You stand to make over five million dollars in the next two years. 1714 00:56:09,930 --> 00:56:10,230 Oh, shit. 1715 00:56:10,550 --> 00:56:11,550 Wow. 1716 00:56:11,830 --> 00:56:12,830 That's great. 1717 00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:16,280 Uh, but I mean, I never really factor in money in my decision-making, so... 1718 00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:18,520 It doesn't change what I'm doing. 1719 00:56:18,570 --> 00:56:21,890 I appreciate the hardball, but obviously I can't take a request like this seriously. 1720 00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:25,160 But the seriousness of my request is reflected in the hardball. 1721 00:56:26,050 --> 00:56:27,050 So I don't... 1722 00:56:27,170 --> 00:56:29,380 I mean... I don't know what we do here. 1723 00:56:32,790 --> 00:56:35,590 Okay, I'll go on one date with you if you answer a question truthfully. 1724 00:56:35,790 --> 00:56:36,610 Like the Sphinx. 1725 00:56:36,690 --> 00:56:37,090 I love it. 1726 00:56:37,110 --> 00:56:37,270 Yeah. 1727 00:56:37,735 --> 00:56:39,335 I answer all questions truthfully, but... 1728 00:56:39,590 --> 00:56:40,590 Fire away. 1729 00:56:41,380 --> 00:56:44,510 What on earth makes you think that I'm worth five million dollars? 1730 00:56:45,325 --> 00:56:46,630 What makes you think you're not? 1731 00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:53,280 Get out of here. 1732 00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:54,040 Get back to work. 1733 00:56:54,220 --> 00:56:54,660 I'm on break. 1734 00:56:54,700 --> 00:56:55,380 Take this. 1735 00:56:55,381 --> 00:56:55,780 I'm on break. 1736 00:56:55,781 --> 00:56:56,781 And get out of my office. 1737 00:56:57,440 --> 00:56:58,440 Okay. 1738 00:56:59,420 --> 00:57:00,420 Alright, to be continued. 1739 00:57:03,260 --> 00:57:04,260 TTFN. 1740 00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:05,680 Um... 1741 00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:08,581 You know, I mean... Ta-ta for now. 1742 00:57:09,140 --> 00:57:10,760 My ex has my son this weekend. 1743 00:57:12,180 --> 00:57:14,140 And I know a place with cheap tequila. 1744 00:57:14,430 --> 00:57:15,180 Well, we should go there. 1745 00:57:15,300 --> 00:57:16,560 That sounds great. 1746 00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:18,000 Can you keep your mouth shut? 1747 00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:20,460 Yeah, I mean, not once we get there. 1748 00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:22,340 Tequila makes me so chatty. 1749 00:57:22,500 --> 00:57:23,500 In a good way, I think. 1750 00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:24,960 You mean out here? 1751 00:57:25,140 --> 00:57:25,520 Just, yes. 1752 00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:26,640 Mouth shut, please. 1753 00:57:26,820 --> 00:57:27,760 I'm not gonna say a peep. 1754 00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:28,800 Get out of here. 1755 00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:32,280 Back to work, you. 1756 00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:35,080 Yes! 1757 00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:38,720 Here you are. 1758 00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:41,000 Hey, thanks for coming, Lainey. 1759 00:57:41,420 --> 00:57:43,340 Partners always have to do these bullshit events. 1760 00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:46,478 I hope your heels are comfortable because you're gonna 1761 00:57:46,479 --> 00:57:49,280 be standing and talking to boring people all night. 1762 00:57:49,500 --> 00:57:49,600 Hey, Chris. 1763 00:57:49,601 --> 00:57:50,640 I'm having a great time. 1764 00:57:51,050 --> 00:57:52,120 Thank you for inviting me. 1765 00:57:52,740 --> 00:57:54,260 And these shoes are still comfortable. 1766 00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:58,000 Lain. 1767 00:57:59,020 --> 00:57:59,740 Hi, Matthew. 1768 00:57:59,940 --> 00:58:00,940 Good to see you. 1769 00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:02,020 This is Chris. 1770 00:58:02,380 --> 00:58:03,120 Nice to meet you. 1771 00:58:03,180 --> 00:58:04,220 Nice to meet you, Matthew. 1772 00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:06,560 Matthew and I were at Columbia around the same time. 1773 00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:07,800 Oh. 1774 00:58:08,060 --> 00:58:09,060 Your name's Lain? 1775 00:58:09,900 --> 00:58:10,900 Lainey is the nickname. 1776 00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:12,320 Didn't know that. 1777 00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:13,480 Oh, Lain. 1778 00:58:13,780 --> 00:58:15,260 You've never met my wife, have you? 1779 00:58:15,340 --> 00:58:15,760 I haven't. 1780 00:58:15,780 --> 00:58:16,540 Let me introduce you. 1781 00:58:16,620 --> 00:58:16,820 Emma. 1782 00:58:17,600 --> 00:58:18,600 Come here. 1783 00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:21,120 This is Lain. 1784 00:58:21,740 --> 00:58:22,940 So nice to meet you, Emma. 1785 00:58:22,941 --> 00:58:23,260 Oh. 1786 00:58:23,380 --> 00:58:24,040 This is Chris. 1787 00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:24,740 Hi. 1788 00:58:24,860 --> 00:58:25,100 Hi. 1789 00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:26,160 When are you due? 1790 00:58:26,540 --> 00:58:26,960 October. 1791 00:58:27,420 --> 00:58:28,420 Congratulations. 1792 00:58:28,780 --> 00:58:29,520 Your first? 1793 00:58:29,740 --> 00:58:30,060 Yes. 1794 00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:31,200 It's a boy. 1795 00:58:31,480 --> 00:58:32,620 We're so excited. 1796 00:58:33,780 --> 00:58:35,240 Matthew will be delivering him. 1797 00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:37,340 Oh. 1798 00:58:37,341 --> 00:58:37,760 OBGYN? 1799 00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:38,180 Yes. 1800 00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:38,600 You? 1801 00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:40,520 A partner over at Garrison and Shinkle. 1802 00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:41,680 Man of the law. 1803 00:58:41,880 --> 00:58:42,100 Yeah. 1804 00:58:42,340 --> 00:58:45,160 I worked with you guys when I was a mediator on Thorpe v. 1805 00:58:45,180 --> 00:58:45,560 Bronwyn. 1806 00:58:45,680 --> 00:58:45,820 Sure. 1807 00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:47,240 Elaine, what is it that you do? 1808 00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:48,680 I teach kindergarten. 1809 00:58:49,040 --> 00:58:49,460 That's right. 1810 00:58:49,500 --> 00:58:50,500 I think I knew that. 1811 00:58:50,860 --> 00:58:51,920 Would you excuse me? 1812 00:58:51,921 --> 00:58:53,601 I'm just going to run to the ladies' room. 1813 00:58:56,140 --> 00:58:57,140 Okay. 1814 00:58:59,900 --> 00:59:00,980 Can I cut to the chase? 1815 00:59:01,100 --> 00:59:01,560 I love that. 1816 00:59:01,680 --> 00:59:02,800 I love cutting to chases. 1817 00:59:02,900 --> 00:59:03,280 Do it. 1818 00:59:03,380 --> 00:59:03,660 Okay. 1819 00:59:04,060 --> 00:59:05,060 So you're a womanizer. 1820 00:59:05,260 --> 00:59:06,260 Hey. 1821 00:59:06,460 --> 00:59:07,460 How did you know that? 1822 00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:08,520 Everybody knows that. 1823 00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:09,000 Everybody? 1824 00:59:09,120 --> 00:59:10,820 Your nerds call you Jumpback Jake. 1825 00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:11,480 I have a nickname? 1826 00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:12,000 A nickname. 1827 00:59:12,180 --> 00:59:13,240 That's how bad it is. 1828 00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:14,360 Isn't that bad? 1829 00:59:14,520 --> 00:59:14,620 I... 1830 00:59:15,020 --> 00:59:16,280 Or that's how good it is. 1831 00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:16,640 Right. 1832 00:59:16,740 --> 00:59:17,856 Well, see, that's what I'm saying. 1833 00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:19,436 I mean, I assume they would speak about me. 1834 00:59:19,460 --> 00:59:21,280 But I thought it was going to be something more along the lines of like... 1835 00:59:21,281 --> 00:59:22,281 Stellar Yelp reviews? 1836 00:59:22,320 --> 00:59:22,440 Yeah. 1837 00:59:23,220 --> 00:59:23,960 Stellar Yelp reviews. 1838 00:59:24,060 --> 00:59:24,840 So can I ask? 1839 00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:25,260 Yeah. 1840 00:59:25,380 --> 00:59:26,380 How do I stop you? 1841 00:59:28,580 --> 00:59:29,960 Were you a fat teenager? 1842 00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:32,300 Do you... No, seriously. 1843 00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:33,916 Did you not get along with your mother? 1844 00:59:33,940 --> 00:59:35,720 Do you just... Do you not like women? 1845 00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:38,680 Do you feel suffocated by them as students? 1846 00:59:38,681 --> 00:59:38,860 Yeah. 1847 00:59:38,861 --> 00:59:39,220 I mean, no. 1848 00:59:39,260 --> 00:59:40,300 It's none of those things. 1849 00:59:40,380 --> 00:59:42,120 God, those are all felt bad. 1850 00:59:42,160 --> 00:59:43,160 No, I think it was... 1851 00:59:46,020 --> 00:59:50,000 I think it's because I was like a late bloomer. 1852 00:59:50,001 --> 00:59:50,520 Really? 1853 00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:51,000 Yeah. 1854 00:59:51,080 --> 00:59:52,080 Me too. 1855 00:59:52,480 --> 00:59:52,960 Mm. 1856 00:59:52,961 --> 00:59:53,961 Mm-hmm. 1857 00:59:54,180 --> 00:59:55,180 That's amazing. 1858 00:59:55,260 --> 00:59:55,620 Oh, shit. 1859 00:59:55,700 --> 00:59:57,260 Well, I mean, it's different for women. 1860 00:59:57,300 --> 00:59:58,840 I waited till my wedding night. 1861 01:00:01,040 --> 01:00:02,160 Did you grow up in America? 1862 01:00:02,940 --> 01:00:04,000 Holy shit. 1863 01:00:04,200 --> 01:00:07,284 I don't think I've ever... No, I've never met 1864 01:00:07,285 --> 01:00:09,820 anybody that actually waited until their wedding day. 1865 01:00:09,900 --> 01:00:11,900 That's like Bobby Fischer kind of scarcity. 1866 01:00:12,120 --> 01:00:12,300 Okay. 1867 01:00:12,340 --> 01:00:14,580 Well, I grew up very, very religiously. 1868 01:00:14,581 --> 01:00:15,581 What is your excuse? 1869 01:00:15,780 --> 01:00:16,780 Hmm. 1870 01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:18,160 Yeah, my excuse. 1871 01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:19,620 Well, I think it's, uh... 1872 01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:22,480 I... I thought it was something that should be special. 1873 01:00:24,080 --> 01:00:28,220 I think I literally sprouted a vagina when I said that. 1874 01:00:29,020 --> 01:00:29,420 Check. 1875 01:00:29,500 --> 01:00:31,880 There's a Georgia O'Keeffe painting in my pants. 1876 01:00:32,840 --> 01:00:33,840 They're a worse thing. 1877 01:00:34,100 --> 01:00:35,100 That's true. 1878 01:00:35,740 --> 01:00:36,140 Pollock. 1879 01:00:36,300 --> 01:00:37,300 Oof. 1880 01:00:39,920 --> 01:00:40,320 Yeah. 1881 01:00:40,460 --> 01:00:41,856 But that was... That's why... Yeah. 1882 01:00:41,880 --> 01:00:45,000 I mean, I had a bunch of friends that had done it, and it just... I don't know. 1883 01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:47,485 At some point, I realized it wasn't gonna be 1884 01:00:47,486 --> 01:00:49,700 special, and so I just wanted to get it over with. 1885 01:00:49,701 --> 01:00:52,420 And it's never been special ever since. 1886 01:00:53,280 --> 01:00:54,420 So who was the girl? 1887 01:00:54,740 --> 01:00:55,740 Hmm. 1888 01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:57,040 Do you remember? 1889 01:00:57,940 --> 01:00:58,940 Hmm. 1890 01:00:59,040 --> 01:01:00,040 You need to get back. 1891 01:01:00,260 --> 01:01:01,640 No, no, no. 1892 01:01:01,680 --> 01:01:02,300 It's just a friend. 1893 01:01:02,660 --> 01:01:05,360 You can still get the phone and have a... I don't want to get the phone. 1894 01:01:05,380 --> 01:01:05,900 It's just a friend. 1895 01:01:05,980 --> 01:01:06,980 It's no big deal. 1896 01:01:08,950 --> 01:01:11,180 Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice... 1897 01:01:26,340 --> 01:01:27,700 Are you one of Matthew's patients? 1898 01:01:29,160 --> 01:01:29,560 No. 1899 01:01:29,660 --> 01:01:30,660 I went to Columbia. 1900 01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:32,600 I'm surprised Matthew hasn't mentioned you. 1901 01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:34,480 Oh, well. 1902 01:01:34,640 --> 01:01:36,780 I haven't seen him in a long time. 1903 01:01:37,680 --> 01:01:40,360 It shouldn't bother me, but I don't like meeting his patients. 1904 01:01:41,680 --> 01:01:44,600 It's so weird meeting someone when your husband has seen her. 1905 01:01:45,500 --> 01:01:46,500 You know. 1906 01:01:47,140 --> 01:01:48,140 Of course. 1907 01:01:48,920 --> 01:01:50,040 Yeah, I feel the same way. 1908 01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:56,200 Lainey. 1909 01:01:56,580 --> 01:01:57,580 Everything okay? 1910 01:01:57,620 --> 01:01:58,400 Oh, I gotta go. 1911 01:01:58,500 --> 01:01:59,380 Chris, I'm so sorry. 1912 01:01:59,480 --> 01:01:59,740 I'm leaving. 1913 01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:00,360 I'm sick. 1914 01:02:00,640 --> 01:02:01,260 Oh, no. 1915 01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:02,456 Well, let me drive you home. 1916 01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:03,000 No, please. 1917 01:02:03,140 --> 01:02:04,461 You're just... Is everything alright? 1918 01:02:05,240 --> 01:02:06,280 I'm just not feeling well. 1919 01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:06,960 Oh. 1920 01:02:07,540 --> 01:02:08,600 We should take our driver. 1921 01:02:09,380 --> 01:02:11,880 No, Emma and I are gonna stick around for another hour or so. 1922 01:02:12,040 --> 01:02:14,280 But we can drop you off and be back in 20 minutes. 1923 01:02:14,340 --> 01:02:14,520 Easy. 1924 01:02:15,080 --> 01:02:16,200 You don't know where I live. 1925 01:02:16,320 --> 01:02:17,040 That's so nice. 1926 01:02:17,300 --> 01:02:18,300 Are you sure? 1927 01:02:18,540 --> 01:02:18,860 Yeah. 1928 01:02:18,940 --> 01:02:20,296 She'll never get a cab at this hour. 1929 01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:20,660 It's no trouble. 1930 01:02:20,700 --> 01:02:20,880 No. 1931 01:02:21,460 --> 01:02:24,560 Look, I'm really supposed to mingle a bit, but if you want me to come... It's fine. 1932 01:02:24,900 --> 01:02:25,900 I'll call you tomorrow. 1933 01:02:26,460 --> 01:02:26,780 Okay. 1934 01:02:26,781 --> 01:02:27,500 Oh, yeah, yeah. 1935 01:02:27,520 --> 01:02:27,800 You're sick. 1936 01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:28,640 Feel better. 1937 01:02:28,860 --> 01:02:29,380 Bye, Chris. 1938 01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:30,740 Thank you so much for tonight. 1939 01:02:32,300 --> 01:02:32,920 It's no trouble. 1940 01:02:32,980 --> 01:02:33,980 Thank you. 1941 01:02:36,780 --> 01:02:37,940 So, it's a black town car. 1942 01:02:38,020 --> 01:02:38,620 It's across the street. 1943 01:02:38,621 --> 01:02:39,480 I know what your car looks like. 1944 01:02:39,500 --> 01:02:40,060 I don't need it. 1945 01:02:40,400 --> 01:02:41,200 I like your date. 1946 01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:41,800 He seems nice. 1947 01:02:41,940 --> 01:02:42,460 Fuck you, Matt. 1948 01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:44,320 Why haven't you returned any of my calls? 1949 01:02:44,660 --> 01:02:45,660 I blocked your number. 1950 01:02:45,740 --> 01:02:45,900 Why? 1951 01:02:46,280 --> 01:02:47,640 Because I'm not an asshole. 1952 01:02:48,500 --> 01:02:49,500 Okay. 1953 01:03:00,260 --> 01:03:00,780 No, no. 1954 01:03:00,960 --> 01:03:01,780 Just... No, no. 1955 01:03:01,940 --> 01:03:02,940 What? 1956 01:03:03,540 --> 01:03:04,580 There's something in here. 1957 01:03:08,520 --> 01:03:09,700 What do you want me to do? 1958 01:03:09,840 --> 01:03:10,840 I want you to do nothing. 1959 01:03:13,100 --> 01:03:18,360 I want you to do exactly what you don't normally do. 1960 01:03:18,720 --> 01:03:19,720 Okay? 1961 01:03:20,100 --> 01:03:21,100 Okay. 1962 01:03:38,760 --> 01:03:39,760 Fuck. 1963 01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:44,520 Shit. 1964 01:04:31,330 --> 01:04:31,820 Fuck. 1965 01:04:32,310 --> 01:04:32,610 Come back. 1966 01:04:32,611 --> 01:04:33,611 Okay. 1967 01:04:34,850 --> 01:04:36,810 Oh, fuck. 1968 01:04:38,480 --> 01:04:41,780 Oh, Ling... 1969 01:04:42,055 --> 01:04:49,090 Oh, sh.. 1970 01:04:55,960 --> 01:04:57,000 Oh, shit. 1971 01:04:57,880 --> 01:05:00,840 Oh, fuck. 1972 01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:04,580 Oh, fuck. 1973 01:05:04,581 --> 01:05:05,581 Fuck. 1974 01:05:05,940 --> 01:05:06,940 Who's Lainey? 1975 01:05:12,820 --> 01:05:13,980 It's a long story. 1976 01:05:19,140 --> 01:05:20,580 Want to tell me about it? 1977 01:05:25,780 --> 01:05:26,780 Yes. 1978 01:05:48,580 --> 01:05:49,960 She tried calling you. 1979 01:05:51,220 --> 01:05:52,420 My phone died. 1980 01:05:54,620 --> 01:05:56,740 So, how was your day? 1981 01:05:58,660 --> 01:05:59,300 Swell. 1982 01:05:59,301 --> 01:06:00,301 Swell. 1983 01:06:02,340 --> 01:06:03,340 Well... 1984 01:07:23,970 --> 01:07:24,970 It's over. 1985 01:07:25,530 --> 01:07:27,190 He didn't choose me. 1986 01:07:28,530 --> 01:07:30,630 You never told him to make a choice, you know. 1987 01:07:36,400 --> 01:07:37,540 That was Paula. 1988 01:07:42,850 --> 01:07:43,930 That was a mess. 1989 01:07:47,170 --> 01:07:48,610 Is she nice to you? 1990 01:07:51,690 --> 01:07:52,690 Yes. 1991 01:08:32,150 --> 01:08:33,910 What are we gonna do about it? 1992 01:08:42,960 --> 01:08:43,400 Hey, Lainey. 1993 01:08:43,401 --> 01:08:44,401 What do you wanna do? 1994 01:09:01,910 --> 01:09:03,570 I love you for free, Lainey. 1995 01:09:07,700 --> 01:09:09,300 I love you for free, Jake. 1996 01:10:00,540 --> 01:10:03,920 I guess I can't talk you into a road trip to Ann Arbor. 1997 01:10:05,200 --> 01:10:06,480 Tempting, but no. 1998 01:10:07,180 --> 01:10:09,100 Paula and I are taking Oliver upstate tomorrow. 1999 01:10:10,380 --> 01:10:12,180 Do you want me to grab the rest of the boxes? 2000 01:10:12,500 --> 01:10:12,800 No. 2001 01:10:12,801 --> 01:10:14,536 Cara and George are shipping it to me on Monday. 2002 01:10:14,560 --> 01:10:14,940 Cool. 2003 01:10:15,000 --> 01:10:15,480 All right. 2004 01:10:15,580 --> 01:10:15,880 I'm good. 2005 01:10:16,380 --> 01:10:17,020 I'm good. 2006 01:10:17,021 --> 01:10:24,480 All right, well, last chance to ditch med school and run away with me, huh? 2007 01:10:24,600 --> 01:10:25,240 Come on, what do you say? 2008 01:10:25,440 --> 01:10:25,800 Let's go. 2009 01:10:26,060 --> 01:10:27,720 You just sneak in here and I'll drive? 2010 01:10:28,080 --> 01:10:32,800 You know, unfortunately, I don't sleep with men in relationships anymore. 2011 01:10:33,600 --> 01:10:34,960 It's a new crazy thing. 2012 01:10:35,200 --> 01:10:36,820 No, that's okay, that's okay. 2013 01:10:36,940 --> 01:10:39,080 I stopped cheating anyway, so bad timing. 2014 01:10:39,460 --> 01:10:41,020 What happened to us? 2015 01:10:42,460 --> 01:10:44,120 We're getting a chance to start over. 2016 01:10:44,460 --> 01:10:45,460 That's true. 2017 01:10:45,700 --> 01:10:46,880 It's just in time. 2018 01:10:46,980 --> 01:10:47,160 Oh yeah. 2019 01:10:47,500 --> 01:10:48,460 If you ask me. 2020 01:10:48,500 --> 01:10:50,220 Oh yeah, yeah, before things got really bad. 2021 01:10:50,400 --> 01:10:51,400 And weird. 2022 01:10:55,600 --> 01:10:58,340 All right, well, goodbye forever. 2023 01:10:59,480 --> 01:11:00,480 Goodbye forever. 2024 01:11:01,020 --> 01:11:02,020 Again. 2025 01:11:03,700 --> 01:11:04,880 Up top, there you go. 2026 01:11:06,020 --> 01:11:07,020 Yep. 2027 01:11:12,660 --> 01:11:13,660 Thank you, Jake. 2028 01:11:15,740 --> 01:11:16,740 For what? 2029 01:11:19,300 --> 01:11:21,000 For teaching me how to love someone. 2030 01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:27,000 Anytime. 2031 01:11:31,100 --> 01:11:32,280 Uh, I'll get this for you. 2032 01:11:32,360 --> 01:11:33,220 Yeah, you gotta close this. 2033 01:11:33,300 --> 01:11:34,300 Yeah. 2034 01:11:36,340 --> 01:11:39,220 It'd be kind of cool, though, if she'd just hang on in the back. 2035 01:11:39,640 --> 01:11:42,240 Eddie Murphy at the beginning of Beverly Hills Cop, remember that? 2036 01:11:42,380 --> 01:11:43,380 Cigarette truck, that. 2037 01:11:44,500 --> 01:11:45,620 Uh, all right, drive safe. 2038 01:11:46,340 --> 01:11:47,340 Okay. 2039 01:11:47,780 --> 01:11:48,140 Go. 2040 01:11:48,300 --> 01:11:49,300 Bye. 2041 01:11:51,650 --> 01:11:52,650 Don't be a hotshot. 2042 01:12:06,540 --> 01:12:07,540 Hi, babe, it's me. 2043 01:12:07,620 --> 01:12:10,000 Um, I hope the goodbye went well. 2044 01:12:10,700 --> 01:12:12,100 Oliver and I are on our way. 2045 01:12:12,380 --> 01:12:12,700 Okay. 2046 01:12:12,760 --> 01:12:13,760 See you soon. 2047 01:12:15,580 --> 01:12:16,580 Nice job, Oliver. 2048 01:12:16,640 --> 01:12:18,160 You're a whirling dervish, out there. 2049 01:12:18,200 --> 01:12:19,200 A whirling dervish. 2050 01:12:19,340 --> 01:12:19,660 Nice job, Henry. 2051 01:12:19,900 --> 01:12:20,500 There you go, Henry. 2052 01:12:20,900 --> 01:12:21,420 Right through. 2053 01:12:21,580 --> 01:12:22,360 How's that feel, blue? 2054 01:12:22,460 --> 01:12:22,620 Good pass. 2055 01:12:22,621 --> 01:12:22,660 Good pass. 2056 01:12:22,661 --> 01:12:23,360 How's that feel, blue? 2057 01:12:23,380 --> 01:12:24,380 There you go. 2058 01:12:25,120 --> 01:12:26,860 Yeah, L.A., but they move fast. 2059 01:12:27,140 --> 01:12:28,140 Get it, get it, get it. 2060 01:12:28,540 --> 01:12:28,880 Reverse it. 2061 01:12:28,980 --> 01:12:29,320 Reverse it. 2062 01:12:29,400 --> 01:12:30,400 Yeah. 2063 01:12:30,680 --> 01:12:31,680 Nice pass! 2064 01:12:32,680 --> 01:12:34,780 I'm just a passionate fan, man. 2065 01:12:35,480 --> 01:12:36,020 I'm sorry. 2066 01:12:36,120 --> 01:12:36,580 Go play soccer! 2067 01:12:36,740 --> 01:12:38,060 What are you doing talking to me? 2068 01:12:38,700 --> 01:12:39,780 You're embarrassing me. 2069 01:12:39,800 --> 01:12:41,000 The kid's having a great game. 2070 01:12:41,220 --> 01:12:42,420 Come on, Henry! 2071 01:12:43,020 --> 01:12:44,020 Come on, Henry! 2072 01:12:44,540 --> 01:12:45,540 How's that feel, Blue? 2073 01:12:45,980 --> 01:12:47,000 How's that feel, Blue? 2074 01:12:48,060 --> 01:12:49,460 My love is conditional! 2075 01:12:55,560 --> 01:12:59,280 When we were kids, we had orange slices after the game. 2076 01:12:59,281 --> 01:13:00,281 Thank you. 2077 01:13:00,420 --> 01:13:02,760 That's like $400 worth of frozen yogurt. 2078 01:13:02,960 --> 01:13:03,900 A ton of toppings. 2079 01:13:03,940 --> 01:13:06,700 She just said it's every topping, every flavor. 2080 01:13:07,660 --> 01:13:08,660 Hey, what's up, dude? 2081 01:13:08,840 --> 01:13:10,840 Is it okay if I go where Henry used to go swimming? 2082 01:13:11,640 --> 01:13:12,320 It's cool with me. 2083 01:13:12,321 --> 01:13:12,680 Cool with you. 2084 01:13:12,780 --> 01:13:13,780 At my house? 2085 01:13:13,840 --> 01:13:15,096 You're gonna come swimming to my house? 2086 01:13:15,120 --> 01:13:15,540 Yes, I am. 2087 01:13:15,620 --> 01:13:16,620 Uh-oh. 2088 01:13:16,970 --> 01:13:18,000 Let me think about it. 2089 01:13:18,120 --> 01:13:18,500 What do you say? 2090 01:13:19,000 --> 01:13:19,500 All right. 2091 01:13:19,740 --> 01:13:20,400 I'll allow it. 2092 01:13:20,635 --> 01:13:22,996 You sure you don't want to come to brunch with me and your mom? 2093 01:13:23,020 --> 01:13:25,520 We're gonna have some Eggs Benedict and frittatas. 2094 01:13:25,800 --> 01:13:27,740 Yeah, because that's what kids want to do. 2095 01:13:27,860 --> 01:13:28,580 They don't want to go swimming. 2096 01:13:28,680 --> 01:13:29,260 They want to go to the beach. 2097 01:13:29,280 --> 01:13:29,520 They want to go to brunch. 2098 01:13:30,100 --> 01:13:31,100 Thanks, Jake. 2099 01:13:31,380 --> 01:13:32,380 There you go. 2100 01:13:34,200 --> 01:13:36,240 You have really changed, my friend. 2101 01:13:36,420 --> 01:13:36,860 Yes, sir. 2102 01:13:36,880 --> 01:13:38,120 I have to say, I don't mind it. 2103 01:13:38,660 --> 01:13:41,149 I don't know what that whole thing was with Lainey, 2104 01:13:41,150 --> 01:13:43,461 but it really turned you around in the right direction. 2105 01:13:44,760 --> 01:13:45,760 How's she doing? 2106 01:13:46,600 --> 01:13:46,960 Lainey? 2107 01:13:47,200 --> 01:13:48,200 Yeah. 2108 01:13:48,700 --> 01:13:49,300 I don't know. 2109 01:13:49,500 --> 01:13:50,660 We haven't talked in a while. 2110 01:13:53,640 --> 01:13:54,640 Look at her. 2111 01:13:54,800 --> 01:13:55,800 Passing out toppings. 2112 01:13:57,720 --> 01:13:58,720 She's just like a dealer. 2113 01:13:59,400 --> 01:13:59,760 What? 2114 01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:00,680 You're mad. 2115 01:14:00,840 --> 01:14:01,900 No, but are you? 2116 01:14:02,120 --> 01:14:02,620 You're both. 2117 01:14:02,800 --> 01:14:03,800 You're crazy. 2118 01:14:03,920 --> 01:14:04,360 Are you Matt? 2119 01:14:04,400 --> 01:14:04,740 You're Mappy. 2120 01:14:04,880 --> 01:14:05,600 We'll just say you're Mappy. 2121 01:14:05,680 --> 01:14:06,320 I can't help it. 2122 01:14:06,360 --> 01:14:07,440 I know. 2123 01:14:07,460 --> 01:14:08,120 It's a birthday gift. 2124 01:14:08,200 --> 01:14:08,760 Can you go to France? 2125 01:14:08,920 --> 01:14:09,160 Okay. 2126 01:14:09,260 --> 01:14:09,940 Do whatever you want. 2127 01:14:09,941 --> 01:14:11,759 Because I'm pretty sure there's going to be a very 2128 01:14:11,760 --> 01:14:14,080 nice suite at a five-star hotel just waiting for you. 2129 01:14:14,380 --> 01:14:14,940 But you're right. 2130 01:14:14,980 --> 01:14:15,460 It's a bad idea. 2131 01:14:15,540 --> 01:14:16,120 Maybe you shouldn't go. 2132 01:14:16,240 --> 01:14:18,272 But I've got to find someone now with your exact 2133 01:14:18,273 --> 01:14:21,041 name that can go to Europe and use that room. 2134 01:14:21,180 --> 01:14:22,180 Anybody here named Paula? 2135 01:14:23,540 --> 01:14:24,740 Are you crazy? 2136 01:14:25,080 --> 01:14:25,620 Said a lot of people. 2137 01:14:25,640 --> 01:14:26,300 No, not at all. 2138 01:14:26,480 --> 01:14:28,000 I think this is a great idea. 2139 01:14:28,001 --> 01:14:29,260 How did you get this good? 2140 01:14:30,120 --> 01:14:31,740 I spent a long time being bad. 2141 01:14:34,440 --> 01:14:37,040 I just, I mean, I just, just, I mean... 2142 01:14:38,200 --> 01:14:39,200 What? 2143 01:14:42,360 --> 01:14:43,380 Um... I'm sorry. 2144 01:14:43,500 --> 01:14:46,260 I just... I know this guy from somewhere. 2145 01:14:46,800 --> 01:14:47,800 With the glasses? 2146 01:14:48,190 --> 01:14:49,520 I can't put my finger on it. 2147 01:14:49,580 --> 01:14:50,000 From work? 2148 01:14:50,260 --> 01:14:51,260 No. 2149 01:14:53,940 --> 01:14:54,620 A neighbor? 2150 01:14:54,940 --> 01:14:57,860 No, I... I feel like he had longer hair. 2151 01:14:58,480 --> 01:14:59,480 Maybe he's an actor. 2152 01:15:00,700 --> 01:15:01,860 Maybe I knew him at Columbia. 2153 01:15:04,180 --> 01:15:05,180 Columbia. 2154 01:15:09,310 --> 01:15:09,870 You know what? 2155 01:15:09,970 --> 01:15:12,326 I'm... I'm... You mind if I run over there and just see if it's him? 2156 01:15:12,350 --> 01:15:12,770 Okay, babe. 2157 01:15:13,110 --> 01:15:13,590 All right. 2158 01:15:13,890 --> 01:15:14,890 Be right back. 2159 01:15:18,880 --> 01:15:20,240 Well, we can talk about it. 2160 01:15:21,220 --> 01:15:21,580 Okay. 2161 01:15:21,700 --> 01:15:22,700 So, we check? 2162 01:15:24,160 --> 01:15:25,160 Yeah. 2163 01:15:25,800 --> 01:15:26,160 Ah! 2164 01:15:26,580 --> 01:15:27,580 Oh, you're pregnant? 2165 01:15:27,780 --> 01:15:28,920 Oh, my God! 2166 01:15:29,320 --> 01:15:30,320 Ah! 2167 01:15:43,810 --> 01:15:44,210 Sorry! 2168 01:15:44,290 --> 01:15:44,470 Sorry! 2169 01:15:44,770 --> 01:15:45,770 Ah! 2170 01:15:46,270 --> 01:16:03,920 Boring piece of shit! 2171 01:16:04,160 --> 01:16:05,160 Fucking whore! 2172 01:16:05,240 --> 01:16:06,240 Oh, my God! 2173 01:16:07,320 --> 01:16:07,720 Fine. 2174 01:16:07,940 --> 01:16:08,220 Fine. 2175 01:16:08,260 --> 01:16:08,440 Fine. 2176 01:16:08,900 --> 01:16:09,700 Get up. 2177 01:16:09,720 --> 01:16:10,040 Let's go. 2178 01:16:10,060 --> 01:16:10,260 Ah! 2179 01:16:10,460 --> 01:16:11,460 Get up! 2180 01:16:12,620 --> 01:16:13,620 No! 2181 01:16:13,960 --> 01:16:14,360 No! 2182 01:16:14,720 --> 01:16:15,720 No! 2183 01:16:15,800 --> 01:16:15,860 No! 2184 01:16:16,200 --> 01:16:17,260 Matthew, my water bottle! 2185 01:16:17,380 --> 01:16:18,380 Honey! 2186 01:16:18,460 --> 01:16:18,860 Honey! 2187 01:16:19,160 --> 01:16:19,720 Where is she? 2188 01:16:19,780 --> 01:16:20,400 We need a doctor! 2189 01:16:20,680 --> 01:16:20,980 Wait. 2190 01:16:21,040 --> 01:16:21,520 I'm a doctor. 2191 01:16:21,540 --> 01:16:22,180 I'm her doctor. 2192 01:16:22,300 --> 01:16:22,720 Hold on. 2193 01:16:22,780 --> 01:16:23,100 Hold on. 2194 01:16:23,101 --> 01:16:23,340 Hold on. 2195 01:16:23,620 --> 01:16:24,980 I'm her husband. 2196 01:16:25,120 --> 01:16:25,260 Honey! 2197 01:16:25,280 --> 01:16:26,040 That is my wife. 2198 01:16:26,041 --> 01:16:26,760 And that's my baby. 2199 01:16:26,880 --> 01:16:28,020 And this motherfucker! 2200 01:16:28,021 --> 01:16:29,320 I don't even know. 2201 01:16:29,500 --> 01:16:29,500 Come on. 2202 01:16:29,501 --> 01:16:29,520 Let's go. 2203 01:16:29,660 --> 01:16:30,560 What are you doing? 2204 01:16:30,680 --> 01:16:31,720 Get off of me! 2205 01:16:31,721 --> 01:16:32,721 Fucking maniac! 2206 01:16:32,800 --> 01:16:33,520 Get off! 2207 01:16:33,700 --> 01:16:34,900 No, no, no! 2208 01:16:35,520 --> 01:16:36,080 No! 2209 01:16:36,120 --> 01:16:37,120 No! 2210 01:16:37,280 --> 01:16:38,280 No! 2211 01:16:41,040 --> 01:16:42,040 No! 2212 01:16:44,420 --> 01:16:44,980 No! 2213 01:16:45,400 --> 01:16:46,400 No! 2214 01:16:47,100 --> 01:16:47,660 No! 2215 01:16:47,840 --> 01:16:48,220 No! 2216 01:16:48,221 --> 01:16:48,280 No! 2217 01:16:48,281 --> 01:16:48,560 No! 2218 01:16:48,561 --> 01:16:48,760 No! 2219 01:16:49,240 --> 01:16:49,800 Hey! 2220 01:16:49,940 --> 01:16:50,420 Hey! 2221 01:16:50,580 --> 01:16:50,820 Hey! 2222 01:16:50,821 --> 01:16:51,480 Can't you do anything? 2223 01:16:51,720 --> 01:16:53,600 We were just having fun, didn't you? 2224 01:16:53,900 --> 01:16:54,460 Fucker! 2225 01:16:54,461 --> 01:16:54,560 Look! 2226 01:16:54,561 --> 01:16:56,820 The heli comes out of nowhere and gets him! 2227 01:16:57,060 --> 01:16:58,080 The heli went! 2228 01:16:58,260 --> 01:16:59,260 Bullshit, motherfucker! 2229 01:16:59,980 --> 01:17:00,980 Oh my God! 2230 01:17:01,040 --> 01:17:02,040 This isn't happening! 2231 01:17:02,120 --> 01:17:03,160 I'd like to see Romeo! 2232 01:17:19,810 --> 01:17:21,330 They're going to book you for assault. 2233 01:17:21,590 --> 01:17:22,030 What? 2234 01:17:22,230 --> 01:17:22,550 Why? 2235 01:17:22,970 --> 01:17:23,250 What? 2236 01:17:23,350 --> 01:17:24,350 Like... 2237 01:17:25,930 --> 01:17:26,370 Sorry. 2238 01:17:26,570 --> 01:17:27,570 Bad joke. 2239 01:17:29,220 --> 01:17:31,026 So you're going to need someone to bail you out. 2240 01:17:31,050 --> 01:17:31,330 Aw. 2241 01:17:31,470 --> 01:17:32,610 Come on, Paula. 2242 01:17:34,610 --> 01:17:36,030 I don't need a hard ball. 2243 01:17:36,190 --> 01:17:37,190 My girl? 2244 01:17:37,650 --> 01:17:38,050 Who's your girl? 2245 01:17:38,051 --> 01:17:39,051 What? 2246 01:17:39,890 --> 01:17:40,510 What are you... 2247 01:17:40,810 --> 01:17:41,850 Michael, who's your girl? 2248 01:17:43,090 --> 01:17:44,090 Well, I can explain that. 2249 01:17:44,130 --> 01:17:45,471 That's just like... Who's your girl, Jake? 2250 01:17:46,480 --> 01:17:48,916 I was... That guy's a fucking asshole who was 2251 01:17:48,917 --> 01:17:51,010 really shitty to a good friend of mine, okay? 2252 01:17:51,170 --> 01:17:52,070 You can't even say it. 2253 01:17:52,110 --> 01:17:54,230 You can't even look at me and just say her name. 2254 01:17:57,470 --> 01:17:59,150 I don't even... Give me the courtesy. 2255 01:17:59,250 --> 01:18:00,230 What are you talking about? 2256 01:18:00,250 --> 01:18:03,310 Like, I haven't even spoken to her since she left. 2257 01:18:03,311 --> 01:18:06,410 I didn't do anything wrong here, okay? 2258 01:18:06,750 --> 01:18:08,050 You've been playing house. 2259 01:18:08,110 --> 01:18:09,770 Oh shit, what are you talking about? 2260 01:18:10,010 --> 01:18:10,810 I let my son fall in love with you. 2261 01:18:10,930 --> 01:18:11,670 Oh, come on. 2262 01:18:11,671 --> 01:18:12,671 That is not true. 2263 01:18:12,750 --> 01:18:12,790 I'm lying. 2264 01:18:12,830 --> 01:18:13,690 I'm not lying. 2265 01:18:13,730 --> 01:18:14,510 I have not lied. 2266 01:18:14,750 --> 01:18:18,130 I would not lie to you, to him, okay? 2267 01:18:19,330 --> 01:18:20,510 I wasn't trying to hurt you. 2268 01:18:20,850 --> 01:18:23,370 Wow, you're really, you're really... Really what? 2269 01:18:23,770 --> 01:18:24,790 Two different people, mister. 2270 01:18:24,810 --> 01:18:25,810 Oh, come on. 2271 01:18:26,210 --> 01:18:27,550 I am not, okay? 2272 01:18:27,710 --> 01:18:28,790 You're gonna figure it out. 2273 01:18:29,250 --> 01:18:30,250 Figure what? 2274 01:18:30,430 --> 01:18:31,430 What are you doing? 2275 01:18:32,390 --> 01:18:33,050 You're gonna get... 2276 01:18:33,310 --> 01:18:34,310 You're just gonna go? 2277 01:18:35,830 --> 01:18:36,830 Okay. 2278 01:18:37,190 --> 01:18:37,770 Great. 2279 01:18:38,190 --> 01:18:39,190 Great, okay. 2280 01:18:40,950 --> 01:18:41,950 Great. 2281 01:18:44,610 --> 01:18:45,610 Wonderful. 2282 01:18:46,450 --> 01:18:47,450 Fuck it. 2283 01:18:49,230 --> 01:18:50,230 Oh. 2284 01:18:58,920 --> 01:18:59,920 Hey, baby. 2285 01:19:00,330 --> 01:19:01,330 Jake? 2286 01:19:01,620 --> 01:19:02,790 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 2287 01:19:02,870 --> 01:19:03,870 How you doing? 2288 01:19:05,870 --> 01:19:07,030 Um, I'm fine. 2289 01:19:07,290 --> 01:19:08,850 Where are you calling me from? 2290 01:19:09,510 --> 01:19:12,790 Hey, did you know they don't have a separate jail for cool people who fucked up? 2291 01:19:13,430 --> 01:19:14,830 Just one big old jail for everyone? 2292 01:19:15,005 --> 01:19:17,090 Jake, what happened? 2293 01:19:18,690 --> 01:19:22,530 Well, I, uh, I ran into our old college buddy, Matthew Sovacek. 2294 01:19:25,750 --> 01:19:26,750 Baby, what did you do? 2295 01:19:27,800 --> 01:19:33,150 Well, I, uh, I, uh, sort of beat the shit out of him. 2296 01:19:33,760 --> 01:19:35,350 Fucked up his life a little bit. 2297 01:19:35,490 --> 01:19:35,930 What it was? 2298 01:19:35,931 --> 01:19:37,436 He beat the shit out of his wife twice. 2299 01:19:37,460 --> 01:19:38,460 Why did you do that? 2300 01:19:40,080 --> 01:19:41,080 I, um... 2301 01:19:43,100 --> 01:19:44,130 Well, I just, um... 2302 01:19:46,935 --> 01:19:47,935 I just really miss you. 2303 01:19:50,130 --> 01:19:52,570 You know, I think about you, like, all the time. 2304 01:19:53,510 --> 01:19:54,130 You know what? 2305 01:19:54,131 --> 01:19:57,430 The word think is wrong, because I don't actively do anything. 2306 01:19:57,570 --> 01:19:59,490 You're just...here. 2307 01:20:05,150 --> 01:20:07,030 But I didn't... I didn't think I'd remember you. 2308 01:20:07,180 --> 01:20:10,390 You know, I thought I'd forget about all of it, and I, uh, I didn't. 2309 01:20:11,570 --> 01:20:12,570 You know, I just, uh... 2310 01:20:13,210 --> 01:20:16,510 I know we're no good at this shit, and that's why we agreed to stop seeing 2311 01:20:16,511 --> 01:20:18,231 each other so we wouldn't fuck it up, but... 2312 01:20:19,970 --> 01:20:21,090 But I want you to come back. 2313 01:20:22,230 --> 01:20:23,230 I need you to. 2314 01:20:25,050 --> 01:20:26,050 Because, uh... 2315 01:20:28,860 --> 01:20:33,130 Because I'd rather fail with you than win with anyone else. 2316 01:20:40,180 --> 01:20:41,180 Hello? 2317 01:20:44,040 --> 01:20:45,160 Lainey, are you still there? 2318 01:20:46,560 --> 01:20:47,280 Just...keep talking. 2319 01:20:47,360 --> 01:20:49,460 I love hearing your voice. 2320 01:20:49,640 --> 01:20:51,060 I love hearing you say my name. 2321 01:20:51,120 --> 01:20:51,380 You do? 2322 01:20:51,700 --> 01:20:52,060 Jake. 2323 01:20:52,240 --> 01:20:52,600 Lainey. 2324 01:20:52,860 --> 01:20:53,220 Jake. 2325 01:20:53,320 --> 01:20:53,620 Lainey. 2326 01:20:53,960 --> 01:20:54,320 Jake. 2327 01:20:54,520 --> 01:20:55,580 I love you so much. 2328 01:20:55,581 --> 01:20:56,320 I love you. 2329 01:20:56,321 --> 01:20:56,940 Lainey, Lainey, Lainey. 2330 01:20:56,941 --> 01:20:57,800 I love you. 2331 01:20:57,940 --> 01:20:59,080 Lainey, I love you so much. 2332 01:20:59,081 --> 01:20:59,720 I love you. 2333 01:20:59,721 --> 01:21:00,280 I love you. 2334 01:21:00,281 --> 01:21:01,281 I love you, Jake. 2335 01:21:01,640 --> 01:21:02,240 Lainey, Lainey. 2336 01:21:02,300 --> 01:21:03,300 What are you doing? 2337 01:21:03,860 --> 01:21:04,840 Fucking take it off. 2338 01:21:04,860 --> 01:21:06,976 Okay, honey, you're on speakerphone in a police station. 2339 01:21:07,000 --> 01:21:08,080 Be very careful what you say. 2340 01:21:08,081 --> 01:21:09,081 No, please! 2341 01:21:09,820 --> 01:21:10,820 I love you! 2342 01:21:10,960 --> 01:21:11,680 I love you! 2343 01:21:11,681 --> 01:21:11,720 I love you! 2344 01:21:11,800 --> 01:21:13,480 Don't, don't hurt or harm me! 2345 01:21:13,481 --> 01:21:13,840 Easy! 2346 01:21:14,120 --> 01:21:14,560 Easy! 2347 01:21:14,900 --> 01:21:15,740 Watch it! 2348 01:21:15,860 --> 01:21:16,440 Back off! 2349 01:21:16,560 --> 01:21:17,560 Back off! 2350 01:21:17,900 --> 01:21:18,900 Elaine! 2351 01:21:19,240 --> 01:21:20,240 Elaine! 2352 01:21:20,700 --> 01:21:21,700 Elaine! 2353 01:21:34,630 --> 01:21:35,630 Yes. 2354 01:21:36,810 --> 01:21:37,810 Yes. 2355 01:21:39,340 --> 01:21:40,580 I will communicate the message. 2356 01:21:42,910 --> 01:21:45,050 Mr. Sobocik will not be joining us. 2357 01:21:45,650 --> 01:21:46,770 We will have to postpone. 2358 01:21:46,990 --> 01:21:47,730 Come on! 2359 01:21:47,850 --> 01:21:49,070 This is the third time! 2360 01:21:50,030 --> 01:21:53,810 Look, we have made a generous offer to settle this lawsuit. 2361 01:21:54,300 --> 01:22:00,890 I forgot 2362 01:22:06,110 --> 01:22:11,420 that Pinkerton was an alias of yours. 2363 01:22:11,995 --> 01:22:13,275 You never caught that reference. 2364 01:22:16,460 --> 01:22:17,540 Madame Butterfly? 2365 01:22:19,465 --> 01:22:22,425 Just because I don't applaud your intellect doesn't mean I don't notice it. 2366 01:22:31,360 --> 01:22:31,800 Matthew. 2367 01:22:31,980 --> 01:22:36,160 I need you to swear that you didn't plan this. 2368 01:22:36,420 --> 01:22:37,420 I didn't plan this. 2369 01:22:38,420 --> 01:22:41,460 Jake's offering you a lot of money to settle this emotional distress lawsuit, 2370 01:22:41,680 --> 01:22:43,400 so just take it. 2371 01:22:43,650 --> 01:22:44,260 Or what? 2372 01:22:44,420 --> 01:22:45,620 Are you threatening me? 2373 01:22:45,800 --> 01:22:47,220 I don't need to threaten you. 2374 01:22:47,380 --> 01:22:47,800 Let me guess. 2375 01:22:47,880 --> 01:22:50,280 I drop it or you tell Emma we slept together. 2376 01:22:50,920 --> 01:22:51,920 Tell her what I know. 2377 01:22:52,080 --> 01:22:53,080 Which is what? 2378 01:22:56,230 --> 01:22:58,860 I know that you stop breathing when you kiss. 2379 01:23:00,900 --> 01:23:03,840 That when you lean in to whisper, you put your 2380 01:23:03,841 --> 01:23:06,621 lips right against the back of my earlobe. 2381 01:23:07,580 --> 01:23:11,080 That you kiss the back of my neck before you slip my coat over my shoulders. 2382 01:23:14,480 --> 01:23:16,940 I remember every compliment you ever gave me. 2383 01:23:18,710 --> 01:23:20,460 Everything you ever did to me in bed. 2384 01:23:23,020 --> 01:23:24,196 And the day you made me yours. 2385 01:23:24,220 --> 01:23:30,740 The day you said, Elaine, I wish I could have known you when you were a little girl. 2386 01:23:31,200 --> 01:23:33,601 So that I could have been your... Could have been your true love. 2387 01:23:35,760 --> 01:23:37,300 I remember too, you know. 2388 01:23:39,670 --> 01:23:41,260 Would any of it sound familiar to Emma? 2389 01:23:43,820 --> 01:23:44,820 Some, yeah. 2390 01:23:45,530 --> 01:23:47,552 I don't think she needs to know the things she holds 2391 01:23:47,553 --> 01:23:49,640 close to her heart were rehearsed on someone else. 2392 01:23:53,460 --> 01:23:54,460 Goodbye, Matthew. 2393 01:24:04,710 --> 01:24:06,026 So is he going to drop the charges? 2394 01:24:06,050 --> 01:24:07,126 Am I allowed to leave the state? 2395 01:24:07,150 --> 01:24:07,610 He will. 2396 01:24:07,830 --> 01:24:08,330 You may. 2397 01:24:08,670 --> 01:24:09,670 Good. 2398 01:24:09,950 --> 01:24:11,990 Because I booked us a flight back to Michigan at 10 a.m. 2399 01:24:11,991 --> 01:24:12,490 tomorrow morning. 2400 01:24:12,570 --> 01:24:12,810 Great. 2401 01:24:13,110 --> 01:24:14,230 I have a final at 3. 2402 01:24:14,530 --> 01:24:14,850 Excellent. 2403 01:24:15,070 --> 01:24:15,750 I'll help you study. 2404 01:24:15,770 --> 01:24:16,770 I'll make flashcards. 2405 01:24:17,210 --> 01:24:18,210 So no honeymoon? 2406 01:24:18,470 --> 01:24:18,830 Oh, no, no. 2407 01:24:18,910 --> 01:24:20,146 There's going to be a honeymoon. 2408 01:24:20,170 --> 01:24:22,926 I got us the penthouse suite down at the plaza right down the road here. 2409 01:24:22,950 --> 01:24:23,270 Nice. 2410 01:24:23,770 --> 01:24:26,650 But first I got to take you downtown and make an honest woman out of you. 2411 01:24:27,050 --> 01:24:28,050 Rings? 2412 01:24:28,150 --> 01:24:29,150 Shit. 2413 01:24:29,570 --> 01:24:29,890 Kidding. 2414 01:24:30,470 --> 01:24:31,470 Xander's daughter. 2415 01:24:33,090 --> 01:24:37,810 I can't believe we lost our virginity to each other and saved ourselves for marriage. 2416 01:24:38,030 --> 01:24:38,230 Yeah. 2417 01:24:38,570 --> 01:24:39,390 It was pretty great. 2418 01:24:39,530 --> 01:24:40,250 You were proud of us. 2419 01:24:40,270 --> 01:24:40,770 Nicely done. 2420 01:24:40,970 --> 01:24:42,810 I mean, not like we hadn't done it. 2421 01:24:42,830 --> 01:24:43,170 Of course. 2422 01:24:43,390 --> 01:24:44,150 I know what it looks like. 2423 01:24:44,170 --> 01:24:44,470 Yeah, yeah. 2424 01:24:44,530 --> 01:24:45,110 It's been a while. 2425 01:24:45,370 --> 01:24:47,390 But I know what your situation is down there. 2426 01:24:47,550 --> 01:24:47,930 Oh, really? 2427 01:24:48,330 --> 01:24:48,730 Yeah. 2428 01:24:48,810 --> 01:24:49,810 How's my situation? 2429 01:24:50,890 --> 01:24:51,890 Are you kidding? 2430 01:24:53,070 --> 01:24:54,070 It's perfect. 2431 01:24:57,550 --> 01:24:59,730 Well, I'm pretty much a dream come true. 2432 01:25:03,530 --> 01:25:04,530 That was great. 2433 01:25:07,230 --> 01:25:08,770 We don't really have to... No, we don't. 2434 01:25:09,190 --> 01:25:10,190 Say that. 2435 01:25:10,390 --> 01:25:12,170 Well, from safe word to code word, I guess. 2436 01:25:13,830 --> 01:25:16,210 We should probably... Let's go fuck first, then we'll meet them down there. 2437 01:25:16,211 --> 01:25:16,550 We gotta do it now. 2438 01:25:16,830 --> 01:25:17,190 Yeah, yeah. 2439 01:25:17,270 --> 01:25:17,890 But let's be quick. 2440 01:25:18,090 --> 01:25:18,350 Yeah, yeah. 2441 01:25:18,410 --> 01:25:18,550 Of course. 2442 01:25:18,551 --> 01:25:19,110 Will you call Xander? 2443 01:25:19,130 --> 01:25:19,870 Tell him we're going to be late? 2444 01:25:19,930 --> 01:25:20,210 Absolutely. 2445 01:25:20,330 --> 01:25:21,406 How long should I tell him we're going to be? 2446 01:25:21,430 --> 01:25:22,430 A couple hours. 2447 01:25:22,570 --> 01:25:22,850 Really? 2448 01:25:23,010 --> 01:25:23,250 Lucky. 2449 01:25:23,330 --> 01:25:24,330 Getting married or not. 2450 01:25:24,550 --> 01:25:25,866 Yeah, then we'll still go get married. 2451 01:25:25,890 --> 01:25:26,170 Absolutely. 2452 01:25:26,450 --> 01:25:26,530 Yeah. 2453 01:25:27,030 --> 01:25:27,630 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 2454 01:25:27,750 --> 01:25:28,430 I forgot something. 2455 01:25:28,610 --> 01:25:29,610 What? 2456 01:25:33,570 --> 01:25:34,570 Better. 2457 01:25:35,450 --> 01:25:36,450 Better, right? 2458 01:25:37,930 --> 01:25:39,550 So we just got 20 blocks. 2459 01:25:39,750 --> 01:25:40,866 Why didn't you take the bus? 2460 01:25:40,890 --> 01:25:41,550 Oh, that's a good point. 2461 01:25:41,790 --> 01:25:42,790 Should we get on the bus? 2462 01:25:43,370 --> 01:25:45,610 I wonder if we can find that roof where we first did it. 2463 01:25:45,730 --> 01:25:46,910 Oh, you're such a romantic. 2464 01:25:47,290 --> 01:25:49,290 I just left my sweatshirt up there, thank you. 2465 01:25:49,430 --> 01:25:50,210 I love you. 2466 01:25:50,390 --> 01:25:51,390 I love you too. 2467 01:26:21,620 --> 01:26:23,860 Um, they're gonna be here in like 90 minutes. 2468 01:26:24,260 --> 01:26:25,940 When have you ever had sex for 90 minutes? 2469 01:26:26,040 --> 01:26:26,300 With you? 2470 01:26:26,760 --> 01:26:27,420 With anybody. 2471 01:26:27,620 --> 01:26:28,740 Oh, many times. 2472 01:26:28,741 --> 01:26:30,000 Please, you have not had sex for 90 minutes. 2473 01:26:30,020 --> 01:26:33,000 I have had, like, actual intercourse for 90 minutes. 2474 01:26:33,001 --> 01:26:34,656 I bet they're counting, like, foreplay and stuff. 2475 01:26:34,680 --> 01:26:34,800 No. 2476 01:26:35,100 --> 01:26:36,140 But maybe they are. 2477 01:26:37,700 --> 01:26:39,540 Frankly, I'd be shocked if they made it at all. 2478 01:26:39,880 --> 01:26:41,460 I bet this sex thing is a ruse. 2479 01:26:41,780 --> 01:26:42,260 For what? 2480 01:26:42,460 --> 01:26:43,140 They're having trouble. 2481 01:26:43,440 --> 01:26:44,820 Cold feet, second thoughts. 2482 01:26:45,580 --> 01:26:46,280 Second thoughts? 2483 01:26:46,281 --> 01:26:48,060 They literally just got back together. 2484 01:26:48,260 --> 01:26:48,540 I know. 2485 01:26:48,600 --> 01:26:50,520 But now they have to have this whole sex thing. 2486 01:26:51,180 --> 01:26:51,760 I don't know. 2487 01:26:52,040 --> 01:26:56,480 First of all, we had sex at the last minute right before we got married. 2488 01:26:56,660 --> 01:26:57,720 I don't think that's true. 2489 01:26:58,280 --> 01:26:58,680 Really? 2490 01:26:58,860 --> 01:27:01,440 You don't remember someone sneaking into my room right before? 2491 01:27:01,740 --> 01:27:01,920 Ooh. 2492 01:27:02,620 --> 01:27:03,800 Ooh, I'm murdering you. 2493 01:27:04,200 --> 01:27:06,960 Text us if you're gonna do this, and we'll be there. 2494 01:27:07,020 --> 01:27:08,560 I've got the rings, the whole deal. 2495 01:27:08,740 --> 01:27:11,780 So just, uh... We're gonna go have sex for nine minutes. 2496 01:27:11,920 --> 01:27:13,080 We're gonna have sex... Yes. 2497 01:27:13,180 --> 01:27:14,676 We're gonna have sex for nine minutes. 2498 01:27:14,700 --> 01:27:16,260 Now I... Now I'm super happy. 2499 01:27:16,280 --> 01:27:17,620 Super happy with four to six. 2500 01:27:17,940 --> 01:27:18,940 Four to six minutes? 2501 01:27:18,960 --> 01:27:19,220 Yeah. 2502 01:27:19,221 --> 01:27:20,221 Or four to six inches? 2503 01:27:20,720 --> 01:27:21,120 Both. 2504 01:27:21,540 --> 01:27:23,300 I can get to like six and a quarter. 2505 01:27:23,740 --> 01:27:25,160 I'll show you right now. 2506 01:27:25,440 --> 01:27:25,600 Move it. 2507 01:27:25,601 --> 01:27:25,780 All right. 2508 01:27:25,781 --> 01:27:26,781 It is so cold. 2509 01:27:26,940 --> 01:27:28,260 I can't get hard right now. 2510 01:27:28,360 --> 01:27:28,400 Too short. 2511 01:27:28,600 --> 01:27:29,680 I can't get hard right now. 2512 01:27:29,900 --> 01:27:30,500 All right. 2513 01:27:30,501 --> 01:27:31,200 Ooh, I wanna though. 2514 01:27:31,420 --> 01:27:31,680 Here. 2515 01:27:32,000 --> 01:27:33,680 If they're gonna be 90 minutes... You wanna tell? 2516 01:27:33,820 --> 01:27:34,140 Yeah. 2517 01:27:34,220 --> 01:27:35,480 Ooh, that's doing... Shit. 2518 01:27:35,520 --> 01:27:36,520 That's doing something. 2519 01:27:38,000 --> 01:27:39,680 Ooh, there's a kid looking at me. 2520 01:27:39,760 --> 01:27:41,340 The kid's locked eyes with me. 2521 01:27:41,860 --> 01:27:42,260 Hey. 2522 01:27:42,680 --> 01:27:43,680 We made it work. 2523 01:27:44,020 --> 01:27:45,020 Twelve years. 2524 01:27:45,180 --> 01:27:46,080 Who would've thought? 2525 01:27:46,200 --> 01:27:46,400 I won't say twelve years. 2526 01:27:46,600 --> 01:27:46,900 Twelve years. 2527 01:27:46,901 --> 01:27:47,220 Who would've thought? 2528 01:27:47,260 --> 01:27:47,700 I bet... 2529 01:27:47,800 --> 01:27:49,580 I bet my brother seven and I'd be out. 2530 01:27:49,950 --> 01:27:51,660 I had to give him $5,000. 2531 01:27:52,080 --> 01:27:52,200 What? 2532 01:27:52,340 --> 01:27:52,560 Yeah. 2533 01:27:52,640 --> 01:27:53,260 Five years ago. 2534 01:27:53,340 --> 01:27:54,380 I gave him $5,000. 2535 01:27:54,600 --> 01:27:54,940 Remember? 2536 01:27:55,120 --> 01:27:55,680 You were so mad? 2537 01:27:55,940 --> 01:27:56,340 Yeah. 2538 01:27:56,580 --> 01:27:56,840 Yeah. 2539 01:27:57,020 --> 01:27:59,620 I paid him that because I lasted longer. 2540 01:27:59,860 --> 01:28:01,580 You said you got in a car accident. 2541 01:28:02,740 --> 01:28:04,660 It's weird to look at you for this long. 2542 01:28:04,920 --> 01:28:05,580 What do you mean? 2543 01:28:05,900 --> 01:28:06,920 I never look at you. 2544 01:28:08,040 --> 01:28:09,441 It's... Get a good gander. 2545 01:28:13,240 --> 01:28:13,920 What are you doing? 2546 01:28:14,060 --> 01:28:15,060 Don't dance. 2547 01:28:15,260 --> 01:28:16,060 Don't dance. 2548 01:28:16,061 --> 01:28:16,260 I'm not dancing. 2549 01:28:16,261 --> 01:28:17,261 I like to dance. 2550 01:28:17,820 --> 01:28:18,620 I just love to dance. 2551 01:28:18,621 --> 01:28:18,860 I don't like dancing. 2552 01:28:18,861 --> 01:28:18,920 I don't like it. 2553 01:28:19,120 --> 01:28:21,760 What are you... What are you... Don't grind up on me. 2554 01:28:21,920 --> 01:28:22,320 What? 2555 01:28:22,321 --> 01:28:22,880 You weirdo. 2556 01:28:22,881 --> 01:28:23,580 There is not even music. 2557 01:28:23,720 --> 01:28:24,100 Really? 2558 01:28:24,480 --> 01:28:25,020 What is this? 2559 01:28:25,021 --> 01:28:26,180 There's music in my body. 2560 01:28:26,300 --> 01:28:27,376 Okay, now something's happening. 2561 01:28:27,400 --> 01:28:28,320 Let's get out of here. 2562 01:28:28,420 --> 01:28:29,500 Let's go back to the hotel. 2563 01:28:29,700 --> 01:28:31,260 I want to do stuff to your body. 2564 01:28:31,720 --> 01:28:32,720 Upstairs, downstairs. 2565 01:28:32,940 --> 01:28:33,400 All right? 2566 01:28:33,860 --> 01:28:34,260 Yeah. 2567 01:28:34,580 --> 01:28:35,580 All right. 2568 01:28:37,580 --> 01:28:38,580 I love you honey. 2569 01:28:38,620 --> 01:28:39,620 I love you. 2570 01:28:40,420 --> 01:28:41,420 Let's go. 2571 01:28:46,360 --> 01:28:48,900 Lately I feel like a fool. 2572 01:29:15,580 --> 01:29:21,240 A little pause... I'm lost in my head. 2573 01:29:21,420 --> 01:29:24,660 It's way too real out there. 2574 01:29:24,800 --> 01:29:27,240 I'm lost in a daydream. 2575 01:29:27,280 --> 01:29:28,700 I don't care. 2576 01:29:28,820 --> 01:29:30,500 I'm oblivious. 2577 01:29:31,320 --> 01:29:32,320 Yeah. 2578 01:29:37,180 --> 01:29:40,100 Spaced out in a daze. 2579 01:29:40,101 --> 01:29:42,340 I couldn't hear you. 2580 01:29:43,200 --> 01:29:48,440 The music drowned you out. 164588