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That's you!
2
00:00:02,540 --> 00:00:03,540
Hey!
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What
4
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the hell is going on here?
5
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I'm a guest!
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Unless someone's sliding you into the
building, you are not a guest.
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Alright, please.
8
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Man, I'm counting on you to see my friend.
9
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Don't take that tag with me.
10
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My friend lives here.
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Please don't put me in this position.
12
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Why are you doing this?
13
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I'm gonna have to call the campus police.
14
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No, Jordan, she's my guest.
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She's your guest.
16
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Yeah, yeah, she's... Hi, Stephanie.
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Yeah.
18
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Stephanie, thank you.
19
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Stephanie...
20
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Sanders.
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Stephanie Sanders, right here.
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Just take care of her, okay?
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Oh yeah, no, I got this.
24
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This is all taken care of.
25
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You don't have to worry about that.
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Thank you.
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Thanks, ma'am.
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Thank you.
29
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Sorry.
30
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Oh, rock and roll.
31
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What?
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I said rock and roll.
33
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Oh.
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Alright, this is, uh, this is us.
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Us.
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You're funny.
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Nice porn.
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Uh-huh.
39
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Yeah.
40
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Nice panties.
41
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Who are you?
42
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I'm Jake.
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Lainey.
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It's a nickname they give to people named
Elaine.
45
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Elaine's a great name.
46
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It's like, Elaine!
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Elaine!
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Hey.
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If you ever even mention the graduate
again, I will slit your throat.
50
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Okay, Lainey.
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Glad we got that cleared up.
52
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Welcome to my Thursday night, huh?
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You, uh, you wanna watch porn?
54
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Smoke drugs?
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This sucks.
56
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Mm.
57
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You know what I was gonna do tonight?
58
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Judge him from your outfit?
59
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I'd say scale a mountain.
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Lose my virginity.
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Hold on a second.
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You were gonna lose your virginity to
Matthew Sobacek in 11B at Ween Dormitory?
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00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,260
He's the TA in my pre-med bio class.
64
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I'm deliberately failing to get work
sessions with him.
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Ugh.
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We fool around after he teaches me things
I already know.
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Jesus.
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How Matthew Sobacek managed
to bag such a delightfully unhinged
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hottie by being the most boring
fucking thing I've ever seen.
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This fucking guy on this entire floor is
beyond me.
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Well, I'm in love with him.
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Come on.
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There's no way you love Matthew Sobacek,
the Pontiac Aztec of people.
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Lainey, you having sex with Matthew
Sobacek is basically the same thing as me
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telling an Aborigine in the Australian
Outback that he's about to listen to The
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Beatles for the first time and that I play
him Blues Traveler.
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That's a cruel joke, for I will have just
tricked him into thinking Blues Traveler
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is the greatest band of all time.
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Okay?
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Now, if you were to sleep with Matthew
Sobacek, that would be the best.
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If you were to sleep with
Matthew Sobacek, you would
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be addicted to mediocrity
for the rest of your life.
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And that barely covered vagina of yours
deserves better than that.
84
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It doesn't deserve John Popper.
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It deserves John Lennon.
86
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Okay?
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00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:02,440
You understand me?
88
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I'm talking about, like, the White Album,
not Hook.
89
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Tell me what sex is like.
90
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Oh, my God.
91
00:03:10,780 --> 00:03:12,220
You have got a one-track mind.
92
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Fuck you.
93
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Enlighten me.
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You want me to tell you what sex is like,
huh?
95
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Mm-hmm.
96
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Tell me.
97
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You'd better be ready.
98
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You ready?
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Yes.
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00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:27,800
Sex is like, uh, it's like kissing with
your entire body.
101
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Very sensual experience.
102
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It's like shooting heroine in a controlled,
yet moist environment, you know?
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You know what it's like?
104
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It's like, it's like Times Square at
night, you know?
105
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I mean, just the right tinge of danger.
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Oh, my God.
107
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What?
108
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What?
109
00:03:54,180 --> 00:03:55,720
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're okay.
110
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Yeah, so I haven't...
111
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technically...
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actually really done it yet.
113
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Why are you laughing at me?
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That's not... You're so old!
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Fuck you!
116
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I didn't call you an old virgin!
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I'm not!
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I'm shocked!
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I'm shocked!
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You're so cute!
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Why are you giving me shit?
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You can't get the most boring dude in our
dorm to sleep with you.
123
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You know that?
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I mean, that's ridiculous.
125
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You're the one that should be...
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No, I'm sorry.
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I'm... I'm sorry.
128
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I didn't mean to upset you.
129
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I was just joking around with you.
130
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I thought we were joking around.
131
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So I was joking.
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This was all almost very romantic and then
you just fucked it up.
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It was?
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I'm so sweaty all of a sudden.
135
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You're incredible.
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You're going to drive some guy crazy
someday.
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Okay.
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It's alright.
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Here we go.
140
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Look,
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I can do this all the way to Brooklyn.
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Fuck you!
143
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Easy, easy.
144
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:23,400
Hey!
145
00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:25,676
See if you can get out of that cab,
Cindy Bristow style.
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Thank God you stopped, okay?
147
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Please, please.
148
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:28,240
You're disgusting!
149
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I'm okay.
150
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Maybe you're right.
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Look at you fucker dick!
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That got me!
153
00:06:35,460 --> 00:06:38,100
What are we doing in the middle of the
street?
154
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Because I hope we fucking die!
155
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Please, come on!
156
00:06:42,460 --> 00:06:44,120
Just get off the street.
157
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Look, look, look.
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Hey, hey, hey.
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I appreciate your anger.
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I really do.
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Okay?
162
00:06:50,420 --> 00:06:52,200
And Lord knows I could use the exercise.
163
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,920
But I do believe there are exactly three
points we should discuss.
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First off, in our initial
conversations about exclusivity, I
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distinctly recall you saying
something about staying casual.
166
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Yeah?
167
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:03,880
I only said that because...
168
00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:05,956
Most likely because you thought that's
what I wanted to hear, yes?
169
00:07:05,980 --> 00:07:06,340
Yes.
170
00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:09,820
Okay, well, me taking you at your word
doesn't make me an asshole.
171
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,420
It does, however, make you a liar.
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00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,040
Ugh, you're such a piece of shit!
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00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,320
Hey, second point, okay?
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If you really, actually
wanted monogamy, why
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have casual sex with
me for three months?
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00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:24,400
You know, I mean, if you want to grow
flowers, you don't plant them in a closet.
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00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:29,780
So, either you're stupid, or, deep down
inside, you don't want monogamy either.
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You fucked my best friend!
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00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:33,700
Which brings me to my third and final
point.
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00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:38,800
Your chief complaint is not that I screwed
someone, it is who I screwed.
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00:07:39,180 --> 00:07:40,380
That's what it's about, right?
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00:07:40,580 --> 00:07:45,460
So, much like your, uh, counterintuitive
plan to secure an exclusive relationship
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00:07:45,461 --> 00:07:48,505
with a guy that you don't
actually want to date, moi,
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00:07:48,506 --> 00:07:51,360
your issue with me and
Sarah Do not say her name.
185
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:54,440
Your issue with us is purely driven by
societal insecurity.
186
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:59,000
Not to mention a culturally infused female
competition.
187
00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,140
My heart goes out to you ladies.
188
00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:03,100
Baby, you're a bad liar.
189
00:08:04,060 --> 00:08:05,060
You're not stupid.
190
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,300
And she can't hold a candle to you.
191
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:10,980
Can we please go home?
192
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:12,960
Please?
193
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:17,220
You know, get out of these wet clothes,
dry each other off using friction.
194
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:22,240
Yeah?
195
00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:23,900
Go ahead.
196
00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:31,500
Got a girlfriend, Charles?
197
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:32,760
No.
198
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,380
Play in the field?
199
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:36,800
Well, be careful.
200
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:38,900
You know?
201
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:40,240
Why?
202
00:08:41,860 --> 00:08:43,660
I don't know if I have time to answer
that.
203
00:08:49,310 --> 00:08:49,710
Wow.
204
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,750
The bathroom fucking stinks.
205
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:53,610
What are we talking about?
206
00:08:54,610 --> 00:08:55,626
That's why I said you're Jack.
207
00:08:55,650 --> 00:08:56,650
I said Jack.
208
00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:58,880
Melania and I are looking to buy.
209
00:08:59,570 --> 00:09:00,570
Maybe have a kid.
210
00:09:01,825 --> 00:09:03,656
I hope it was okay that I said that,
by the way.
211
00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:05,721
I mean, you haven't changed your mind or
anything, have you?
212
00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:06,906
Because I know you don't want to get
married.
213
00:09:06,930 --> 00:09:08,603
But, you know, I do
think it's important we
214
00:09:08,604 --> 00:09:10,230
make some sort of
commitment to each other.
215
00:09:10,330 --> 00:09:15,070
And I think buying a place, maybe
Kensington, maybe Prospect Heights.
216
00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:16,590
What's up, little nugget?
217
00:09:16,610 --> 00:09:18,090
What are you doing with the notebook?
218
00:09:18,290 --> 00:09:19,650
Sam, I have to read you something.
219
00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:21,750
You've been writing again?
220
00:09:23,610 --> 00:09:23,930
Sweet.
221
00:09:24,050 --> 00:09:24,350
No.
222
00:09:24,490 --> 00:09:25,490
That's great.
223
00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:26,410
I was never writing.
224
00:09:26,510 --> 00:09:26,830
Yes.
225
00:09:26,831 --> 00:09:28,490
That was one short story.
226
00:09:28,491 --> 00:09:29,110
That is great.
227
00:09:29,230 --> 00:09:30,230
No, listen.
228
00:09:30,530 --> 00:09:31,766
Listen, I want to tell you something.
229
00:09:31,790 --> 00:09:32,370
Look at me.
230
00:09:32,470 --> 00:09:33,070
Look at me.
231
00:09:33,350 --> 00:09:33,710
Okay?
232
00:09:33,850 --> 00:09:36,750
I know you love teaching, but that's not a
real thing.
233
00:09:36,930 --> 00:09:37,650
I mean, this is great.
234
00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:38,290
This is good.
235
00:09:38,291 --> 00:09:39,906
Can you please just not interrupt me while
I read this?
236
00:09:39,930 --> 00:09:41,050
Please, just listen to it.
237
00:09:41,051 --> 00:09:42,411
Just let me get through all of it.
238
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,260
I don't think I interrupt you,
but, come on.
239
00:09:44,950 --> 00:09:45,310
Don't.
240
00:09:45,311 --> 00:09:45,850
I don't.
241
00:09:45,890 --> 00:09:46,650
Please don't interrupt me.
242
00:09:46,830 --> 00:09:47,930
I would love to hear it.
243
00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:49,110
Okay, I'm gonna start.
244
00:09:49,370 --> 00:09:50,370
Wow me.
245
00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:52,210
Sam.
246
00:09:52,570 --> 00:09:53,570
Melania.
247
00:09:57,060 --> 00:10:03,720
My therapist suggested that I attend a 12
step program for recovery from a love
248
00:10:03,721 --> 00:10:06,180
addiction and romantic obsession I've been
having.
249
00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:08,780
Did we say love addiction?
250
00:10:09,755 --> 00:10:10,755
And romantic obsession.
251
00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:11,820
Sweetie.
252
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:13,200
You might as well face it.
253
00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:14,300
You're addicted to love.
254
00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:14,840
Obsession.
255
00:10:14,940 --> 00:10:15,160
No.
256
00:10:15,420 --> 00:10:16,720
It's Robert Palmer.
257
00:10:16,860 --> 00:10:18,560
That I've had for the last 10 years.
258
00:10:18,580 --> 00:10:22,120
As a result, I've been able to stay
faithful to you for the past six months.
259
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,741
Okay, let me just
stop you because I feel
260
00:10:23,742 --> 00:10:26,521
like... Sam, I'm trying
to tell you something.
261
00:10:27,780 --> 00:10:27,900
Sam.
262
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,380
I would love to hear what you're telling
me.
263
00:10:29,381 --> 00:10:30,856
Can you listen to what I'm saying to you?
264
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:31,020
I'm trying to...
265
00:10:31,870 --> 00:10:33,420
Yeah, I'm listening.
266
00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:36,540
We want to move forward in our
relationship in an honest way.
267
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:37,280
I know.
268
00:10:37,340 --> 00:10:37,900
Being honest.
269
00:10:38,020 --> 00:10:41,940
Honest, critical appraisal is the
foundation.
270
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:43,160
Sam, I cheated on you.
271
00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,200
Cheated on me?
272
00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:05,100
Baby.
273
00:11:05,860 --> 00:11:06,860
How many times?
274
00:11:06,861 --> 00:11:07,861
How many times?
275
00:11:10,740 --> 00:11:11,740
Sixteen?
276
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,800
I don't even know 16 guys.
277
00:11:19,140 --> 00:11:19,640
Sixteen guys?
278
00:11:19,641 --> 00:11:20,641
No, the same guy.
279
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:22,160
Sixteen times.
280
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:25,240
But who?
281
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:26,160
It doesn't matter.
282
00:11:26,220 --> 00:11:27,640
Tell me who...
It doesn't matter.
283
00:11:27,641 --> 00:11:28,020
My brother?
284
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:29,200
No.
285
00:11:29,380 --> 00:11:30,380
Was it my brother?
286
00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:30,780
No.
287
00:11:30,860 --> 00:11:31,740
Was it my brother?
288
00:11:31,820 --> 00:11:31,960
Stop.
289
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:33,596
You know I'm not attracted to your
brother.
290
00:11:33,620 --> 00:11:34,720
Who's so fucking hot?
291
00:11:35,110 --> 00:11:36,520
Who is better than my brother?
292
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:38,160
I'm not gonna tell you.
293
00:11:38,161 --> 00:11:39,000
I deserve to know.
294
00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:39,560
No, I'm sorry.
295
00:11:39,561 --> 00:11:40,280
I deserve to know.
296
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,400
I've been getting his second fucking
servings.
297
00:11:43,401 --> 00:11:44,521
I've been tasting his sweat.
298
00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:46,440
Whose juices have I tasted?
299
00:11:46,910 --> 00:11:49,640
If I've been drinking his juices,
I want to know who it is.
300
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,220
I'm gonna involve him in this and make
things worse for everyone.
301
00:11:52,221 --> 00:11:56,940
I think you involved my brother when you
fucked him 16 times.
302
00:11:57,020 --> 00:12:00,580
Who can tell with that fucking swarthy
man?
303
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:01,000
What?
304
00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:01,800
Get out of here.
305
00:12:01,980 --> 00:12:02,820
Get out of here.
306
00:12:02,940 --> 00:12:03,940
Please.
307
00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:05,576
Why did you have to do this in public?
308
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:06,880
Were you trying to humiliate me?
309
00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:07,360
Look it.
310
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:07,680
Look it.
311
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:08,160
He's looking.
312
00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:09,260
I'm embarrassed.
313
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:09,760
One.
314
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:10,820
I'm humiliating him.
315
00:12:11,020 --> 00:12:11,820
I thought that you would freak out.
316
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:12,240
Yeah.
317
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:12,580
Oh.
318
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:13,620
Well, you thought right.
319
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:15,540
Get ready for a classic Sam freak out.
320
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:20,040
Wait.
321
00:12:20,041 --> 00:12:20,760
I'm sorry.
322
00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:21,300
Please.
323
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:22,400
Please.
324
00:12:22,620 --> 00:12:23,620
I'm sorry.
325
00:12:24,450 --> 00:12:26,020
I want to make this work.
326
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:27,100
I'm trying to get better.
327
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:28,680
You can't get better.
328
00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:30,260
Lainey.
329
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:31,320
You're not an addict.
330
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:32,760
Okay?
331
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:37,720
You're just a whore.
332
00:12:41,020 --> 00:12:42,020
You're a whore.
333
00:12:45,220 --> 00:12:46,420
You're a fucking whore.
334
00:13:46,230 --> 00:13:48,090
Of all the gin joints.
335
00:13:50,170 --> 00:13:51,170
No way.
336
00:13:52,590 --> 00:13:52,990
Jake.
337
00:13:52,991 --> 00:13:53,991
Yes.
338
00:13:57,710 --> 00:13:58,710
Oh my god.
339
00:13:58,890 --> 00:14:00,730
Were you just in that meeting?
340
00:14:00,930 --> 00:14:01,170
Oh yeah.
341
00:14:01,210 --> 00:14:01,410
Yeah.
342
00:14:01,450 --> 00:14:01,850
Sure was.
343
00:14:01,990 --> 00:14:02,190
Uh huh.
344
00:14:02,310 --> 00:14:02,710
Yeah.
345
00:14:02,990 --> 00:14:04,030
Had to get out of there though.
346
00:14:04,050 --> 00:14:05,210
It was making me super horny.
347
00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:07,670
Wow.
348
00:14:07,870 --> 00:14:08,870
It's been...
349
00:14:09,230 --> 00:14:09,630
What?
350
00:14:09,730 --> 00:14:10,730
Twelve years?
351
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:12,710
I think it might actually be longer.
352
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:13,010
Yeah.
353
00:14:13,710 --> 00:14:14,790
You look good.
354
00:14:16,210 --> 00:14:17,210
So do you.
355
00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:18,250
Thank you.
356
00:14:18,730 --> 00:14:19,130
Wow.
357
00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:20,370
The old virgin.
358
00:14:21,810 --> 00:14:23,290
Don't you mean the one that got away?
359
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:24,350
Stop.
360
00:14:24,690 --> 00:14:26,564
The last thing I remember
we had that awesome night
361
00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:29,550
together and then you just
sort of... You disappeared.
362
00:14:30,010 --> 00:14:30,350
Oh.
363
00:14:30,390 --> 00:14:32,906
Plus you were all hung up on that guy that
lived next door to me.
364
00:14:32,930 --> 00:14:33,430
The boring guy.
365
00:14:33,530 --> 00:14:35,610
The uh... Marcus
or uh... Matthew.
366
00:14:36,190 --> 00:14:36,390
That's right.
367
00:14:36,510 --> 00:14:37,710
I hear he's a lady doctor now.
368
00:14:37,950 --> 00:14:38,210
Huh?
369
00:14:38,570 --> 00:14:38,930
Yeah.
370
00:14:39,390 --> 00:14:40,390
You ever see him around?
371
00:14:40,550 --> 00:14:42,450
I assume like doctor things.
372
00:14:42,770 --> 00:14:43,770
Aren't you a doctor now?
373
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:44,590
Oh I didn't do that.
374
00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:45,906
I didn't end up going to med school.
375
00:14:45,930 --> 00:14:46,290
Oh.
376
00:14:46,530 --> 00:14:47,090
I teach.
377
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:47,830
Cool.
378
00:14:48,010 --> 00:14:48,170
No yeah.
379
00:14:48,370 --> 00:14:48,730
Kids.
380
00:14:48,830 --> 00:14:49,050
Great.
381
00:14:49,190 --> 00:14:50,190
Kindergarten.
382
00:14:50,310 --> 00:14:51,310
Alright.
383
00:14:51,570 --> 00:14:51,930
You?
384
00:14:52,150 --> 00:14:52,510
What are you?
385
00:14:52,690 --> 00:14:53,090
What are you?
386
00:14:53,330 --> 00:14:55,744
Uh buddy and I created
this CDN and we're selling it
387
00:14:55,745 --> 00:14:57,510
to a digital media provider
on your board already?
388
00:14:57,670 --> 00:14:57,830
No.
389
00:14:58,130 --> 00:14:58,670
You just asked me.
390
00:14:58,690 --> 00:14:58,950
I know.
391
00:14:59,050 --> 00:14:59,550
I'm sorry.
392
00:14:59,730 --> 00:15:02,730
I have to... Respond to that booty text I
assume right?
393
00:15:03,510 --> 00:15:04,650
Aw come on.
394
00:15:04,690 --> 00:15:05,130
Laney.
395
00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:06,870
I was watching you in there.
396
00:15:07,010 --> 00:15:08,010
I saw you.
397
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:10,010
Checking your phone every five minutes.
398
00:15:10,390 --> 00:15:11,870
All that tension in your shoulders.
399
00:15:11,990 --> 00:15:12,550
Legs crossed.
400
00:15:12,810 --> 00:15:13,470
Playing with your hair.
401
00:15:13,530 --> 00:15:14,210
Why are you here?
402
00:15:14,490 --> 00:15:14,750
Hmm.
403
00:15:15,010 --> 00:15:16,010
Pick up women?
404
00:15:16,090 --> 00:15:16,310
No.
405
00:15:16,450 --> 00:15:16,730
No.
406
00:15:16,870 --> 00:15:17,350
Heavens no.
407
00:15:17,470 --> 00:15:17,610
No.
408
00:15:17,630 --> 00:15:18,030
Not women.
409
00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:18,330
No.
410
00:15:19,030 --> 00:15:20,370
Just you evidently.
411
00:15:20,470 --> 00:15:21,470
Ha ha ha.
412
00:15:22,030 --> 00:15:23,030
I'll see you around.
413
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:24,850
Hopefully not here.
414
00:15:25,950 --> 00:15:26,950
Yeah.
415
00:15:27,910 --> 00:15:29,090
Hey I'm on Facebook.
416
00:15:30,590 --> 00:15:31,070
What?
417
00:15:31,450 --> 00:15:33,030
That's a weird thing to say out loud.
418
00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:50,150
You know I have one last question.
419
00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:50,790
Oh come on.
420
00:15:50,791 --> 00:15:51,791
Come on.
421
00:15:52,610 --> 00:15:53,610
Um.
422
00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:58,150
When I sign this what happens to
everything that Xander and I worked on?
423
00:15:58,420 --> 00:15:59,970
Like all the content we create?
424
00:16:00,190 --> 00:16:04,410
We dissolve all past and current product
and you'll work exclusively for us.
425
00:16:04,710 --> 00:16:05,190
Alright.
426
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:06,730
Time to settle down.
427
00:16:07,950 --> 00:16:08,550
That's true.
428
00:16:08,790 --> 00:16:11,450
But what if we have... No.
429
00:16:11,451 --> 00:16:15,330
I will straight up murder you if you do
not sign this immediately.
430
00:16:15,690 --> 00:16:16,970
Xander I'm looking out for us.
431
00:16:17,050 --> 00:16:17,830
You're looking out for us?
432
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:18,070
No.
433
00:16:18,150 --> 00:16:19,010
I'm looking out for us.
434
00:16:19,011 --> 00:16:19,770
You're being a dick.
435
00:16:19,810 --> 00:16:20,570
Here's the thing guys.
436
00:16:20,650 --> 00:16:22,930
I don't negotiate but my lawyers do.
437
00:16:23,430 --> 00:16:26,330
So if you want to reopen the terms of the
contract that's fine.
438
00:16:26,410 --> 00:16:27,770
I'm just gonna go grab some lunch.
439
00:16:28,670 --> 00:16:29,070
Alright.
440
00:16:29,270 --> 00:16:29,490
Alright.
441
00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:29,750
Alright.
442
00:16:29,890 --> 00:16:30,110
Alright.
443
00:16:30,850 --> 00:16:31,850
Okay.
444
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:34,450
You don't have to go.
445
00:16:34,530 --> 00:16:34,950
To lunch.
446
00:16:35,150 --> 00:16:35,550
Yet.
447
00:16:36,050 --> 00:16:37,050
Okay.
448
00:16:41,460 --> 00:16:42,200
Congrats boys.
449
00:16:42,340 --> 00:16:43,540
You've officially sold out.
450
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:45,720
Yes!
451
00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:47,500
Oh my god!
452
00:16:48,020 --> 00:16:50,660
I really thought you were gonna fuck this
up.
453
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:50,880
Me too.
454
00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:51,660
I really did.
455
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,640
He fucks everything in life up.
456
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,720
I have two beautiful children.
457
00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:59,460
Both are gonna have ridiculously terrible
teeth.
458
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:00,840
So you're getting braces.
459
00:17:01,180 --> 00:17:02,400
You're getting braces.
460
00:17:02,910 --> 00:17:03,960
You're getting braces.
461
00:17:04,820 --> 00:17:05,820
Hey.
462
00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:06,940
You want a lunch?
463
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:08,120
Can I come with?
464
00:17:09,620 --> 00:17:10,620
Dinner maybe?
465
00:17:10,980 --> 00:17:12,220
How about brunch with my folks?
466
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:12,740
You'll love them.
467
00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:14,580
You're smart, handsome, and now have sex?
468
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,300
Stop investing until 2018.
469
00:17:16,420 --> 00:17:17,920
You can go get any woman you want.
470
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:18,280
Really?
471
00:17:18,460 --> 00:17:19,460
Well I still choose you.
472
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:19,740
Why?
473
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,400
Does that happen to be in your eye line?
474
00:17:21,630 --> 00:17:22,896
Possibly because you're uninterested.
475
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,916
Most likely because you're stunning and
successful.
476
00:17:24,940 --> 00:17:25,220
I'm divorced.
477
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:26,360
His loss?
478
00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:27,040
I have a kid.
479
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:27,960
I love kids.
480
00:17:28,020 --> 00:17:28,520
Kids love me.
481
00:17:28,540 --> 00:17:29,340
I basically am a kid.
482
00:17:29,540 --> 00:17:31,020
And I don't sleep with my employees.
483
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:32,020
I quit!
484
00:17:32,220 --> 00:17:33,220
Goodbye Jacob.
485
00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:34,100
Congrats.
486
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:35,620
Thanks.
487
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:39,440
Paula's something else, huh?
488
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:41,220
Yeah, she really is.
489
00:17:41,221 --> 00:17:43,360
She was vibing me pretty hard in that
meeting.
490
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:44,260
Well you're a married man.
491
00:17:44,460 --> 00:17:45,800
Yeah, no I made sure to tell her.
492
00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:47,896
Because I was like, I didn't want to
embarrass myself.
493
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:48,600
Yeah, that's good.
494
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:49,200
Let her down easy.
495
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:51,640
Good afternoon, Dr. Sobacek's office.
496
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,736
I'm sorry, the doctor is having a really
bad night.
497
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:55,760
May I take a message?
498
00:17:57,180 --> 00:17:57,540
Elaine?
499
00:17:57,541 --> 00:17:58,820
Elaine Dalton?
500
00:17:59,540 --> 00:18:00,540
Yes.
501
00:18:02,260 --> 00:18:03,080
Sorry, it's Lainey.
502
00:18:03,260 --> 00:18:04,620
Only my father calls me Elaine.
503
00:18:05,865 --> 00:18:07,105
Dr. Sobacek, we'll see you now.
504
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,320
Thank you.
505
00:18:16,105 --> 00:18:17,700
You didn't have to make an appointment.
506
00:18:19,030 --> 00:18:20,400
This used to be our move.
507
00:18:20,910 --> 00:18:22,110
Me pretending to be a patient.
508
00:18:25,460 --> 00:18:26,460
You look great.
509
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:28,340
It's been a while.
510
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,580
I get worried when you disappear.
511
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:34,680
Me too.
512
00:18:35,850 --> 00:18:36,970
It's really good to see you.
513
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,520
What do you want to talk about?
514
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:41,200
I can't see you anymore.
515
00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:42,420
I agree.
516
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:44,960
Yeah.
517
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:46,200
I think...
518
00:18:47,910 --> 00:18:48,910
we need to be over.
519
00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:50,160
I asked Emma to marry me.
520
00:18:51,410 --> 00:18:52,530
And she kept bringing it up.
521
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,440
I thought it was the right thing to do.
522
00:18:58,320 --> 00:18:59,930
You and Emma got back together.
523
00:19:00,290 --> 00:19:01,290
Yes.
524
00:19:01,450 --> 00:19:02,610
Did I not tell you that?
525
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:11,800
How's Sam?
526
00:19:12,420 --> 00:19:13,420
He's...
527
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:15,240
fine.
528
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:16,680
Good.
529
00:19:20,740 --> 00:19:22,140
Glad we ended up face to face.
530
00:19:22,220 --> 00:19:23,320
You were right to come.
531
00:19:29,130 --> 00:19:30,130
Oh.
532
00:19:32,990 --> 00:19:33,900
Will you do me a favor?
533
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,000
Will you...
534
00:19:35,770 --> 00:19:37,050
erase your number from my phone?
535
00:19:39,660 --> 00:19:40,660
I won't be able to do it.
536
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:35,620
Is this what you want, Elaine?
537
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:37,440
Yes.
538
00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:38,980
I want it all the time.
539
00:20:38,981 --> 00:20:39,981
That's all I think about.
540
00:21:27,370 --> 00:21:27,970
I'm sorry.
541
00:21:28,030 --> 00:21:29,470
The doctor is unavailable right now.
542
00:21:31,530 --> 00:21:32,530
He's getting married.
543
00:21:32,630 --> 00:21:33,850
Who would marry him?
544
00:21:34,010 --> 00:21:35,410
Like, can she consent?
545
00:21:35,610 --> 00:21:36,610
Is she in a coma?
546
00:21:36,770 --> 00:21:38,490
I mean, who is this person?
547
00:21:38,790 --> 00:21:40,050
Where do you find her?
548
00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:44,750
Some sort of, like, website for people who
want to have a horrible, painful life?
549
00:21:44,850 --> 00:21:47,690
I think I need to stop having sex
altogether for a while.
550
00:21:48,330 --> 00:21:48,730
No.
551
00:21:49,110 --> 00:21:49,510
Right?
552
00:21:49,630 --> 00:21:50,350
The problem isn't sex.
553
00:21:50,590 --> 00:21:52,495
The problem is Captain
Amazing has monopolized your
554
00:21:52,496 --> 00:21:54,506
badge for like a decade
and now you're a pot person.
555
00:21:54,530 --> 00:21:56,150
Maybe if I'm not having any sex.
556
00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:57,850
And become a sexual anorexic?
557
00:21:57,990 --> 00:21:58,170
No.
558
00:21:58,610 --> 00:21:59,010
What?
559
00:21:59,130 --> 00:22:00,130
Is that a real thing?
560
00:22:00,330 --> 00:22:01,626
Yeah, of course it's a real thing.
561
00:22:01,650 --> 00:22:02,930
It's sexual anorexia.
562
00:22:02,970 --> 00:22:04,503
It's like depriving
yourself of sex because of
563
00:22:04,504 --> 00:22:08,230
low self-esteem or
abuse or other gnarly shit.
564
00:22:08,310 --> 00:22:08,630
That's great.
565
00:22:08,710 --> 00:22:10,310
That's another dysfunction I have to worry
about developing.
566
00:22:10,311 --> 00:22:11,711
There's like enough with this shit.
567
00:22:12,510 --> 00:22:13,330
It's over, Jack.
568
00:22:13,390 --> 00:22:14,390
It's like enough.
569
00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:16,326
I mean, it's like you can do so much
better.
570
00:22:16,350 --> 00:22:20,811
I don't care if it's a woman, if it's
somebody else, just anything but the schmuck.
571
00:22:21,790 --> 00:22:23,270
I feel like people are looking at us.
572
00:22:24,350 --> 00:22:26,810
The guy I lost my virginity to was at my
sex addicts meeting.
573
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:28,360
What do you think that means?
574
00:22:28,770 --> 00:22:29,770
It's a sign.
575
00:22:30,360 --> 00:22:31,970
You should fuck that guy.
576
00:22:32,550 --> 00:22:33,550
A lot.
577
00:22:33,990 --> 00:22:37,950
I don't think everyone should just be
running around fucking willy-nilly, okay?
578
00:22:38,070 --> 00:22:42,370
In your specific case, I do think you
should fuck that sex addict.
579
00:22:50,590 --> 00:22:54,630
You have lipstick on your teeth.
580
00:22:56,550 --> 00:22:57,550
Thank you.
581
00:22:57,950 --> 00:22:58,550
This is my wife.
582
00:22:58,610 --> 00:22:59,610
This is Lainey.
583
00:22:59,950 --> 00:23:00,970
Lainey with an L.
584
00:23:00,990 --> 00:23:03,130
Bring it in here.
585
00:23:03,310 --> 00:23:04,310
Never make it in.
586
00:23:04,370 --> 00:23:06,090
This is Lainey.
587
00:23:06,091 --> 00:23:07,091
Naomi.
588
00:23:07,150 --> 00:23:08,150
This is my wife.
589
00:23:09,030 --> 00:23:09,510
Shots.
590
00:23:09,511 --> 00:23:10,711
I'm getting everybody's shots.
591
00:23:11,570 --> 00:23:14,130
Top shelf, bro, because we're rich as shit
now.
592
00:23:14,390 --> 00:23:15,730
Okay, stop screaming.
593
00:23:15,970 --> 00:23:16,970
Rich as shit.
594
00:23:17,650 --> 00:23:19,890
Someone's gonna murder us if you keep
screaming.
595
00:23:20,010 --> 00:23:20,590
I don't care.
596
00:23:20,870 --> 00:23:21,870
We're in a cool bar.
597
00:23:22,050 --> 00:23:23,570
I just bought a Tesla.
598
00:23:24,690 --> 00:23:25,490
That's not true.
599
00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:27,770
We are borrowing a Tesla to see if we like
it.
600
00:23:27,950 --> 00:23:31,850
Listen, are you guys, um... Are
you guys sleeping with each other?
601
00:23:32,030 --> 00:23:32,310
No.
602
00:23:32,470 --> 00:23:32,810
Oh, good.
603
00:23:32,910 --> 00:23:33,590
Oh my god, good.
604
00:23:33,770 --> 00:23:34,846
What are you guys talking about?
605
00:23:34,870 --> 00:23:36,610
I'm telling her not to have sex with you.
606
00:23:36,890 --> 00:23:37,250
Sorry.
607
00:23:37,570 --> 00:23:40,530
Yeah, well, you're too late because we
lost our virginity to each other.
608
00:23:42,110 --> 00:23:43,190
Are you serious?
609
00:23:43,250 --> 00:23:43,890
You didn't know?
610
00:23:44,150 --> 00:23:44,990
Yeah, I just told him earlier.
611
00:23:45,130 --> 00:23:45,750
We all knew.
612
00:23:45,930 --> 00:23:46,930
You didn't know.
613
00:23:47,170 --> 00:23:48,590
That's a beautiful story.
614
00:23:48,950 --> 00:23:49,950
So romantic.
615
00:23:50,750 --> 00:23:51,650
Here we go.
616
00:23:51,690 --> 00:23:52,250
Bring it in.
617
00:23:52,330 --> 00:23:53,210
To virginity.
618
00:23:53,290 --> 00:23:54,290
To virginity.
619
00:23:54,650 --> 00:23:55,650
Get lost.
620
00:23:57,890 --> 00:23:58,890
There we go.
621
00:24:00,050 --> 00:24:01,050
That's good.
622
00:24:01,510 --> 00:24:03,430
Naomi still has her anal virginity.
623
00:24:03,830 --> 00:24:04,550
That's not true.
624
00:24:04,630 --> 00:24:06,690
A lot of guys have been up there,
just not you.
625
00:24:06,730 --> 00:24:06,830
Oh.
626
00:24:06,930 --> 00:24:07,550
Oh, wait, wait.
627
00:24:07,590 --> 00:24:08,090
Girl, girl, girl.
628
00:24:08,210 --> 00:24:08,490
Laney.
629
00:24:08,670 --> 00:24:09,030
Laney.
630
00:24:09,031 --> 00:24:09,170
Laney.
631
00:24:09,250 --> 00:24:09,470
I'm sorry.
632
00:24:09,550 --> 00:24:09,870
I'm sorry.
633
00:24:09,990 --> 00:24:11,626
Quick question before you walk out the
door.
634
00:24:11,650 --> 00:24:16,010
Are you the reason that my friend Jake here
is, like, the biggest slut in the world?
635
00:24:16,550 --> 00:24:17,470
What are you doing?
636
00:24:17,550 --> 00:24:20,970
I'm saying, like, he puts his dick in,
like, every sticky hole he finds.
637
00:24:21,010 --> 00:24:21,550
That's not true.
638
00:24:21,551 --> 00:24:22,070
It's gross.
639
00:24:22,450 --> 00:24:23,610
But, like, I'm Gels.
640
00:24:23,990 --> 00:24:26,390
No, I'm just kidding.
641
00:24:26,570 --> 00:24:27,370
I'm just kidding.
642
00:24:27,430 --> 00:24:28,270
I know it's not you.
643
00:24:28,390 --> 00:24:29,090
I know it's not you.
644
00:24:29,150 --> 00:24:30,810
I know it's because the dad molested him.
645
00:24:30,850 --> 00:24:31,850
What?
646
00:24:32,170 --> 00:24:33,350
Now everybody knows.
647
00:24:33,550 --> 00:24:34,690
He was a Boy Scout leader.
648
00:24:35,870 --> 00:24:36,870
You're welcome.
649
00:24:37,050 --> 00:24:37,530
You're welcome.
650
00:24:37,670 --> 00:24:39,510
I just set that up for you.
651
00:24:40,410 --> 00:24:41,710
Don't let her get away, man.
652
00:24:41,890 --> 00:24:43,410
Dude, you gotta chase after her.
653
00:24:44,050 --> 00:24:45,850
She's your lobster, man.
654
00:24:47,610 --> 00:24:48,610
She seems...
655
00:24:49,590 --> 00:24:49,990
awesome.
656
00:24:49,991 --> 00:24:50,991
Amazing.
657
00:24:51,650 --> 00:24:52,650
Lainey!
658
00:24:52,850 --> 00:24:53,710
Lainey, what are you doing?
659
00:24:53,850 --> 00:24:54,450
Where are you going?
660
00:24:54,550 --> 00:24:55,550
Sorry, sorry.
661
00:24:55,650 --> 00:24:57,970
I've just... I've got to thank you for
tonight.
662
00:24:58,110 --> 00:24:58,450
It was great.
663
00:24:58,590 --> 00:25:00,910
Just go in and have fun with your friends.
664
00:25:01,130 --> 00:25:05,230
I just Facebooked you because I thought I
should start dating again.
665
00:25:05,270 --> 00:25:06,210
I'm trying to get over this thing.
666
00:25:06,211 --> 00:25:07,451
Was this supposed to be a date?
667
00:25:09,210 --> 00:25:10,350
Oh, shit, it was.
668
00:25:11,730 --> 00:25:12,370
Oh, hell.
669
00:25:12,450 --> 00:25:13,190
I'm an idiot.
670
00:25:13,270 --> 00:25:13,690
I'm sorry.
671
00:25:13,750 --> 00:25:14,130
I'm a dick.
672
00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:15,090
I'm sorry.
673
00:25:15,150 --> 00:25:16,150
I didn't know.
674
00:25:16,690 --> 00:25:18,010
Hey, how about we go on the date?
675
00:25:18,235 --> 00:25:18,850
This is a date now.
676
00:25:18,970 --> 00:25:19,490
We'll go out.
677
00:25:19,570 --> 00:25:20,570
No notes.
678
00:25:21,550 --> 00:25:21,930
I'm just going on a date.
679
00:25:21,970 --> 00:25:22,790
No, this is good.
680
00:25:22,910 --> 00:25:23,450
I'll go inside.
681
00:25:23,550 --> 00:25:24,310
I'm gonna get my jacket.
682
00:25:24,390 --> 00:25:25,270
Then I'll come out.
683
00:25:25,350 --> 00:25:26,350
We'll, uh...
684
00:25:26,810 --> 00:25:27,810
date it up.
685
00:25:28,650 --> 00:25:29,370
Matthew Sobacek?
686
00:25:29,430 --> 00:25:31,770
That guy had all the charm of a broken
Etch-A-Sketch.
687
00:25:32,010 --> 00:25:35,530
It feels so freeing to tell someone about
it who actually knows him.
688
00:25:35,610 --> 00:25:37,106
Okay, you're gonna have to explain this to
me.
689
00:25:37,130 --> 00:25:38,250
I mean, what, is he packing?
690
00:25:38,430 --> 00:25:38,790
Huh?
691
00:25:38,791 --> 00:25:39,350
Is that what's going on?
692
00:25:39,450 --> 00:25:39,710
No?
693
00:25:39,850 --> 00:25:40,810
Is it tipping hundreds?
694
00:25:40,870 --> 00:25:42,386
Read your Polar Express before bedtime?
695
00:25:42,410 --> 00:25:42,710
No.
696
00:25:42,990 --> 00:25:44,190
It's pretty average, actually.
697
00:25:45,170 --> 00:25:46,070
God damn it.
698
00:25:46,071 --> 00:25:47,610
Even his junk is boring.
699
00:25:48,015 --> 00:25:49,090
God damn boring dick.
700
00:25:50,390 --> 00:25:51,250
That's so weird.
701
00:25:51,310 --> 00:25:52,430
I mean, you're a catch, too.
702
00:25:52,990 --> 00:25:53,550
You know?
703
00:25:53,650 --> 00:25:54,190
I'm serious.
704
00:25:54,390 --> 00:25:55,750
You got a strong vocabulary.
705
00:25:56,190 --> 00:25:58,150
You look dynamite in a tank top.
706
00:25:58,270 --> 00:25:59,270
It's just, what gives?
707
00:25:59,620 --> 00:26:00,620
I can't...
708
00:26:04,130 --> 00:26:07,290
I guess I just thought eventually he'd
choose me.
709
00:26:07,610 --> 00:26:08,610
Uh-huh.
710
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:10,230
And so I always chose him.
711
00:26:10,250 --> 00:26:11,910
If he texted, I'd think of an excuse.
712
00:26:12,030 --> 00:26:12,610
I'd lie.
713
00:26:12,710 --> 00:26:13,570
I'd get there.
714
00:26:13,571 --> 00:26:14,571
That's psychotic.
715
00:26:14,790 --> 00:26:15,790
Thanks.
716
00:26:15,970 --> 00:26:17,310
I mean, it's not your fault.
717
00:26:18,090 --> 00:26:19,090
You know?
718
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,760
Little girls are told that someday they're
gonna find the one.
719
00:26:22,390 --> 00:26:25,230
What they don't tell you guys is that the
one might be a complete fucking dickhead
720
00:26:25,231 --> 00:26:28,410
with a boring heroin penis that turns y
'all into a sex addict.
721
00:26:28,490 --> 00:26:29,750
That's what they leave
out of... I'm not a sex addict.
722
00:26:29,930 --> 00:26:34,250
I went to a few meetings because my
therapist suggested that I go,
723
00:26:34,390 --> 00:26:37,270
that it might help, but it didn't,
so I stopped.
724
00:26:37,670 --> 00:26:37,990
Okay.
725
00:26:38,260 --> 00:26:39,260
What's your excuse?
726
00:26:39,790 --> 00:26:40,150
Me?
727
00:26:40,530 --> 00:26:40,890
Yeah.
728
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,086
My girlfriend said if I didn't go,
she'd break up with me.
729
00:26:43,110 --> 00:26:44,210
So I went to a meeting.
730
00:26:44,290 --> 00:26:45,410
She broke up with me anyway.
731
00:26:45,710 --> 00:26:46,710
I'm cured.
732
00:26:46,750 --> 00:26:47,990
Well, why'd she want you to go?
733
00:26:48,290 --> 00:26:49,290
I don't know.
734
00:26:53,790 --> 00:27:00,010
She, some, have suggested that I have a
little bit of a problem staying faithful
735
00:27:00,011 --> 00:27:03,970
for long periods of time, or possibly at
all, I guess.
736
00:27:04,535 --> 00:27:06,490
And it all comes out.
737
00:27:06,550 --> 00:27:10,918
Look, once I come to
the realization that I'm
738
00:27:10,919 --> 00:27:14,430
with the wrong girl, I
don't know how to end it.
739
00:27:14,530 --> 00:27:17,250
So you sabotage it by sleeping with other
people.
740
00:27:17,490 --> 00:27:17,870
Exactly.
741
00:27:18,410 --> 00:27:21,997
Obviously, they get upset,
but then comes the big
742
00:27:22,077 --> 00:27:24,170
old rigmarole of like,
you're afraid to commit.
743
00:27:24,290 --> 00:27:24,790
And it's like, no.
744
00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:26,710
I just don't want to commit to you.
745
00:27:26,740 --> 00:27:27,590
But I can't say that.
746
00:27:27,650 --> 00:27:29,110
That's like mean on top of mean.
747
00:27:29,290 --> 00:27:30,710
It's not you, it's me.
748
00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:33,360
I don't like you.
749
00:27:34,330 --> 00:27:35,190
You know, like that.
750
00:27:35,350 --> 00:27:35,750
Yeah, that's harsh.
751
00:27:35,990 --> 00:27:36,570
That's harsh, right?
752
00:27:36,590 --> 00:27:37,590
You can't say that.
753
00:27:37,740 --> 00:27:41,410
So instead, I'd rather just say something
like, I fucked your sister.
754
00:27:41,690 --> 00:27:42,210
Much better.
755
00:27:42,450 --> 00:27:43,450
But it's honest.
756
00:27:44,430 --> 00:27:46,246
I don't have to fuck the sister in order
for it to work.
757
00:27:46,270 --> 00:27:48,506
It's like I'd rather... Be the bad guy
than tell the truth.
758
00:27:48,530 --> 00:27:48,710
See?
759
00:27:48,850 --> 00:27:49,330
You get it.
760
00:27:49,450 --> 00:27:51,170
Well, yeah, but I'm psychotic.
761
00:27:53,410 --> 00:27:55,290
But like an approachable psychotic.
762
00:27:55,780 --> 00:27:57,206
That's the thing I don't think I mentioned
earlier.
763
00:27:57,230 --> 00:27:57,730
You like it?
764
00:27:57,870 --> 00:27:59,790
Yeah, it's like Ted Bundy, you know?
765
00:28:00,340 --> 00:28:02,490
You can't get him into a van by just being
a jerk.
766
00:28:02,980 --> 00:28:04,830
You gotta have a certain way about you.
767
00:28:05,750 --> 00:28:06,530
If it takes.
768
00:28:06,570 --> 00:28:08,070
That would be something.
769
00:28:08,450 --> 00:28:09,110
Yes, yes, yes.
770
00:28:09,430 --> 00:28:10,430
I'm hungry again.
771
00:28:10,690 --> 00:28:11,690
Already?
772
00:28:12,430 --> 00:28:14,610
Well, you know, that's dim sum anyway.
773
00:28:14,870 --> 00:28:16,310
I have snacks at home.
774
00:28:16,610 --> 00:28:18,790
This is actually, this is my train.
775
00:28:18,990 --> 00:28:20,010
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
776
00:28:21,030 --> 00:28:23,210
So I'm probably gonna hit the road.
777
00:28:23,750 --> 00:28:25,510
Jake, thank you.
778
00:28:25,730 --> 00:28:26,730
Yeah.
779
00:28:27,770 --> 00:28:28,650
We did it.
780
00:28:28,690 --> 00:28:30,010
That was a good date.
781
00:28:30,270 --> 00:28:30,790
We did the date.
782
00:28:30,910 --> 00:28:34,410
I think it was the first date I've ever
been on.
783
00:28:34,510 --> 00:28:35,826
So I don't really have much to compare it
to.
784
00:28:35,850 --> 00:28:36,850
But it seems solid.
785
00:28:36,910 --> 00:28:37,270
Good.
786
00:28:37,670 --> 00:28:38,670
Okay.
787
00:28:39,470 --> 00:28:39,830
Shit.
788
00:28:39,831 --> 00:28:40,831
Shit.
789
00:28:41,370 --> 00:28:42,370
What?
790
00:28:43,530 --> 00:28:45,690
I, uh, I want to fuck you.
791
00:28:46,710 --> 00:28:47,110
What?
792
00:28:47,130 --> 00:28:47,530
No.
793
00:28:48,130 --> 00:28:49,130
What do you mean, no?
794
00:28:49,330 --> 00:28:49,670
What?
795
00:28:49,790 --> 00:28:51,890
What did I do?
796
00:28:51,910 --> 00:28:53,130
I mean, are you kidding me?
797
00:28:53,330 --> 00:28:54,450
It's kind of hard.
798
00:28:54,630 --> 00:28:55,230
I mean, look at you.
799
00:28:55,270 --> 00:28:57,110
I mean, you're so pretty and you're
vulnerable.
800
00:28:57,270 --> 00:28:58,845
And it's just like, you might
as well be wearing a sign
801
00:28:58,846 --> 00:29:00,646
that says, solve my
problems with your penis, Jake.
802
00:29:00,670 --> 00:29:02,955
Jake, we just spent the entire
evening talking about how
803
00:29:02,956 --> 00:29:04,910
we screw up every sexual
relationship we've ever had.
804
00:29:04,911 --> 00:29:05,550
I know, right?
805
00:29:05,730 --> 00:29:07,070
I mean, and yet, here I am.
806
00:29:07,150 --> 00:29:08,530
Like, wanting this now.
807
00:29:08,570 --> 00:29:11,410
So maybe, we gotta just be friends.
808
00:29:11,430 --> 00:29:11,770
Yes.
809
00:29:11,950 --> 00:29:14,370
That is the mature, responsible thing to
do.
810
00:29:14,630 --> 00:29:16,650
Uh, for each other and ourselves.
811
00:29:16,950 --> 00:29:17,590
Yes, I agree.
812
00:29:17,690 --> 00:29:19,046
Okay, but then we gotta come up with a
system.
813
00:29:19,070 --> 00:29:21,038
If we're gonna be friends,
you know, and I want to
814
00:29:21,062 --> 00:29:22,350
be good friends, but we
gotta have a system here.
815
00:29:22,370 --> 00:29:27,970
So maybe, we come up with a safe word for
if we're having sexual tension and then
816
00:29:27,971 --> 00:29:29,089
we'll stop whatever
is creating So if you're
817
00:29:29,090 --> 00:29:30,210
doing something sexy or
I'm doing something sexy.
818
00:29:30,330 --> 00:29:31,630
Okay, but it's mutual.
819
00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:32,490
So it is mutual.
820
00:29:32,710 --> 00:29:33,030
The word.
821
00:29:33,170 --> 00:29:34,210
You're saying it's mutual.
822
00:29:34,910 --> 00:29:35,270
It could be mutual.
823
00:29:35,510 --> 00:29:36,070
That's a yes.
824
00:29:36,110 --> 00:29:37,870
I may or may not need to use the word.
825
00:29:37,910 --> 00:29:38,650
We'll have to see in the future.
826
00:29:38,651 --> 00:29:39,170
Okay, well alright.
827
00:29:39,370 --> 00:29:39,870
What happens?
828
00:29:40,270 --> 00:29:41,750
We'll say, yeah, anything.
829
00:29:42,250 --> 00:29:42,870
I'll do anything.
830
00:29:43,070 --> 00:29:44,250
You pick it and yes.
831
00:29:44,450 --> 00:29:44,930
It's avocado.
832
00:29:45,230 --> 00:29:45,350
No.
833
00:29:45,390 --> 00:29:45,890
Can't do that.
834
00:29:45,990 --> 00:29:46,190
No.
835
00:29:46,810 --> 00:29:48,110
It's just immediate veto.
836
00:29:48,450 --> 00:29:49,526
Well, I mean, it's too sexual.
837
00:29:49,550 --> 00:29:50,550
It's too sexual.
838
00:29:50,730 --> 00:29:51,850
Avocado is too sexual.
839
00:29:51,851 --> 00:29:52,270
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
840
00:29:52,310 --> 00:29:54,126
I mean, you gotta see the way I eat an
avocado.
841
00:29:54,150 --> 00:29:56,570
You'd be like, that's, you know,
do that to me.
842
00:29:56,790 --> 00:29:57,790
That's a Guam.
843
00:29:58,290 --> 00:29:58,610
Guam?
844
00:29:58,710 --> 00:29:59,610
Like the country Guam?
845
00:29:59,630 --> 00:29:59,750
No.
846
00:29:59,970 --> 00:30:02,763
No, I knew a girl whose father
was from Guam and she literally
847
00:30:02,764 --> 00:30:04,971
had one of the best natural
bodies in her entire life.
848
00:30:05,050 --> 00:30:06,050
Noodle salad.
849
00:30:06,090 --> 00:30:06,730
Noodle salad?
850
00:30:06,750 --> 00:30:07,750
That's a sex thing.
851
00:30:07,870 --> 00:30:08,270
What?
852
00:30:08,570 --> 00:30:11,710
That's a bunch of guys putting flaccid
dicks into someone's mouth.
853
00:30:11,810 --> 00:30:13,010
That's called a noodle salad.
854
00:30:13,230 --> 00:30:14,230
That is not a thing.
855
00:30:14,810 --> 00:30:17,010
I mean, it absolutely is a thing.
856
00:30:17,050 --> 00:30:17,590
I know it's a thing.
857
00:30:17,710 --> 00:30:18,990
Go to noodlesalad.org.
858
00:30:19,130 --> 00:30:20,250
Now I feel like you're just trying to find
problems.
859
00:30:20,251 --> 00:30:20,810
That's a real story.
860
00:30:21,050 --> 00:30:23,526
I would make the argument
that you're just suggesting
861
00:30:23,527 --> 00:30:25,871
only things that can only
be perceived as sexual.
862
00:30:25,930 --> 00:30:27,266
Okay, it needs to be more violent.
863
00:30:27,290 --> 00:30:28,290
Something else.
864
00:30:28,450 --> 00:30:29,490
Dick in a mousetrap.
865
00:30:29,690 --> 00:30:30,090
Yikes!
866
00:30:30,130 --> 00:30:30,590
What is that?
867
00:30:30,850 --> 00:30:31,110
Oh!
868
00:30:31,190 --> 00:30:31,810
That's awful.
869
00:30:31,970 --> 00:30:32,530
You don't like it.
870
00:30:32,590 --> 00:30:32,790
No.
871
00:30:32,850 --> 00:30:33,390
That's the one.
872
00:30:33,570 --> 00:30:33,810
What?
873
00:30:33,850 --> 00:30:34,890
We'll shorten it to mousetrap.
874
00:30:34,910 --> 00:30:36,210
Thank you.
875
00:30:36,211 --> 00:30:36,410
Goodbye.
876
00:30:36,650 --> 00:30:37,050
Mousetrap.
877
00:30:37,150 --> 00:30:37,390
Alright.
878
00:30:37,770 --> 00:30:38,770
Goodbye.
879
00:30:38,970 --> 00:30:39,530
I'm going.
880
00:30:39,650 --> 00:30:40,330
I'm going for it.
881
00:30:40,430 --> 00:30:40,710
Yeah.
882
00:30:40,830 --> 00:30:41,510
Live on the edge.
883
00:30:41,730 --> 00:30:41,990
Goodnight.
884
00:30:42,330 --> 00:30:43,330
Careful.
885
00:30:43,650 --> 00:30:44,650
Bye!
886
00:30:45,750 --> 00:30:46,150
Bye!
887
00:30:46,590 --> 00:30:47,590
Bye!
888
00:30:49,150 --> 00:30:50,630
You're happy and you know it.
889
00:30:50,670 --> 00:30:51,670
Clap your hands.
890
00:30:51,890 --> 00:30:52,890
Yay!
891
00:30:53,250 --> 00:30:54,010
Good singing.
892
00:30:54,150 --> 00:30:54,310
Good.
893
00:30:54,430 --> 00:30:54,610
Alright.
894
00:30:54,710 --> 00:30:55,190
Free play.
895
00:30:55,390 --> 00:30:56,390
Everybody play.
896
00:30:56,870 --> 00:30:57,870
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
897
00:30:58,010 --> 00:30:59,230
No, no, no, no.
898
00:31:00,190 --> 00:31:01,610
Alexander had the ball first.
899
00:31:01,810 --> 00:31:03,210
Why didn't you take it from him?
900
00:31:05,110 --> 00:31:06,450
You gotta use your words.
901
00:31:06,530 --> 00:31:07,530
You don't do that.
902
00:31:07,570 --> 00:31:09,690
One of my students reminds me of you.
903
00:31:10,850 --> 00:31:11,970
He's devastatingly handsome.
904
00:31:13,730 --> 00:31:15,050
He reminds me of us.
905
00:31:15,410 --> 00:31:18,197
He has no one to play with
and gets angry, so nobody
906
00:31:18,198 --> 00:31:20,730
wants to play with him
because he's angry all the time.
907
00:31:22,290 --> 00:31:23,290
No dates, huh?
908
00:31:23,690 --> 00:31:24,690
Haven't met anyone.
909
00:31:24,810 --> 00:31:25,810
I've been busy.
910
00:31:26,230 --> 00:31:27,550
Studying for the MCATs, you know.
911
00:31:28,070 --> 00:31:28,510
You?
912
00:31:28,930 --> 00:31:29,370
Nothing.
913
00:31:29,770 --> 00:31:30,770
Nada.
914
00:31:32,250 --> 00:31:33,450
Have you texted Voldemort?
915
00:31:34,130 --> 00:31:35,570
Trying to distract myself.
916
00:31:36,230 --> 00:31:39,950
Sometimes I dress up in lingerie just to
feel something.
917
00:31:40,350 --> 00:31:40,710
Oof.
918
00:31:41,230 --> 00:31:42,230
Mousetrap.
919
00:31:42,630 --> 00:31:44,390
You should text me what you want to text
him.
920
00:31:45,830 --> 00:31:47,710
I miss your cock in my mouth.
921
00:31:48,030 --> 00:31:50,210
I miss the way you feel on top of me.
922
00:31:50,930 --> 00:31:52,770
I miss making you come.
923
00:31:53,370 --> 00:31:53,810
Oh!
924
00:31:54,310 --> 00:31:56,510
Since when are you a porn star with killer
grammar?
925
00:31:56,750 --> 00:31:57,970
That's how I text with him.
926
00:31:58,310 --> 00:32:01,750
Okay, well you're sending porn star vibes
instead of laney vibes.
927
00:32:02,010 --> 00:32:03,050
You're one to talk.
928
00:32:03,370 --> 00:32:05,970
You're a completely different guy with me
than with other ladies.
929
00:32:06,290 --> 00:32:06,930
That's not true.
930
00:32:07,150 --> 00:32:09,450
If you want someone to fall for you,
you gotta be you.
931
00:32:09,770 --> 00:32:12,530
Yeah, I don't think I like me enough to
introduce him to other people.
932
00:32:13,070 --> 00:32:14,070
Night.
933
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:22,040
That was fun.
934
00:32:23,060 --> 00:32:24,060
Night.
935
00:32:26,300 --> 00:32:27,300
Night.
936
00:32:56,310 --> 00:33:04,310
Treat me like a fool Treat me mean and
cruel But love me.
937
00:33:07,250 --> 00:33:08,250
...
938
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:22,880
Break my faithful heart tear it apart I
would back and stand
939
00:33:26,140 --> 00:33:33,460
Just to feel I would back and stand just
to feel Just to feel Just to feel Just
940
00:33:38,860 --> 00:33:42,680
to feel Treating close to mind He
941
00:33:54,510 --> 00:33:56,170
looked so make me It's normal.
942
00:33:56,610 --> 00:33:58,986
Like he hadn't even noticed that we
stopped sleeping together.
943
00:33:59,010 --> 00:33:59,390
Oh, no, no.
944
00:33:59,450 --> 00:34:00,070
He noticed.
945
00:34:00,270 --> 00:34:02,030
He's just not thinking about it the same
way.
946
00:34:02,590 --> 00:34:02,950
Right.
947
00:34:02,951 --> 00:34:03,310
Right.
948
00:34:03,370 --> 00:34:03,570
Great.
949
00:34:03,670 --> 00:34:05,710
I'm a guilty slut and he gets to be a...
950
00:34:05,711 --> 00:34:09,170
you know, heartless alpha male who fucking
jogs.
951
00:34:09,171 --> 00:34:10,330
No, that's not it at all.
952
00:34:10,530 --> 00:34:11,730
No, to Sobacek, you're like...
953
00:34:12,230 --> 00:34:14,610
you're like the hardest drug at the
coolest party, you know?
954
00:34:14,650 --> 00:34:16,106
Like in a second he has to make a
decision.
955
00:34:16,130 --> 00:34:16,770
Do I go home now?
956
00:34:16,910 --> 00:34:18,410
Or cancel everything tomorrow?
957
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:20,890
You know, no premeditation means no
postmeditation.
958
00:34:21,335 --> 00:34:25,090
It's not like months from now he's thinking,
oh, gosh, I wonder how crack is doing.
959
00:34:25,565 --> 00:34:27,750
Or I hope cocaine isn't mad at me.
960
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:29,466
You know, no dude thinks like that.
961
00:34:29,490 --> 00:34:30,490
Except Aaron Sorkin.
962
00:34:30,730 --> 00:34:32,050
Are you saying I'm crack cocaine?
963
00:34:32,250 --> 00:34:32,530
Yeah.
964
00:34:32,850 --> 00:34:33,890
Don't sell yourself short.
965
00:34:33,950 --> 00:34:35,506
We wouldn't have the West Wing without
you.
966
00:34:35,530 --> 00:34:37,170
What is wrong with me?
967
00:34:37,450 --> 00:34:38,290
Nothing's wrong with you.
968
00:34:38,310 --> 00:34:38,730
Are you kidding me?
969
00:34:38,870 --> 00:34:39,450
You're great.
970
00:34:39,610 --> 00:34:40,310
I mean, you're funny.
971
00:34:40,530 --> 00:34:41,030
You're sexy.
972
00:34:41,190 --> 00:34:42,730
You're cool.
973
00:34:43,010 --> 00:34:44,010
Like...
974
00:34:44,870 --> 00:34:45,270
What?
975
00:34:45,271 --> 00:34:46,470
You run out of compliments?
976
00:34:46,770 --> 00:34:46,970
Yeah.
977
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:48,640
No, do you remember that girl,
Renee?
978
00:34:48,850 --> 00:34:50,770
I had a spectacular time with you last
night.
979
00:34:50,910 --> 00:34:51,910
I'm at lunch.
980
00:34:52,450 --> 00:34:53,450
Just try calling you.
981
00:34:53,590 --> 00:34:55,430
Have you ever thought about taking a road
trip?
982
00:34:55,690 --> 00:34:57,790
At least respond so I know you're alive
and okay.
983
00:34:57,990 --> 00:34:59,030
GIF of a panda dancing.
984
00:34:59,450 --> 00:35:00,450
Seriously, are you okay?
985
00:35:00,570 --> 00:35:01,250
I was on the subway.
986
00:35:01,330 --> 00:35:01,890
Did you text me?
987
00:35:01,990 --> 00:35:02,830
Fuck me, then ignore me.
988
00:35:03,010 --> 00:35:03,710
Nice one, Jake.
989
00:35:03,890 --> 00:35:05,990
Photo of a dog dressed as a Nazi.
990
00:35:06,230 --> 00:35:06,950
I have chlamydia.
991
00:35:07,190 --> 00:35:08,310
Okay, I was joking.
992
00:35:08,490 --> 00:35:11,490
I do have HPV, though, and I hope it's the
one that gives you dick cancer.
993
00:35:11,990 --> 00:35:12,990
Emoji of a heart.
994
00:35:13,210 --> 00:35:14,210
XXX, Renee.
995
00:35:15,890 --> 00:35:16,550
Well, that's sort of normal.
996
00:35:16,750 --> 00:35:18,150
You actively stalked someone today.
997
00:35:18,210 --> 00:35:20,390
Your perception of normal might be a
little skewed, my dear.
998
00:35:20,410 --> 00:35:21,850
Okay, you slept with her.
999
00:35:22,050 --> 00:35:22,310
Mm-hmm.
1000
00:35:22,450 --> 00:35:23,570
You rocked her face.
1001
00:35:23,950 --> 00:35:24,190
Mm-hmm.
1002
00:35:24,230 --> 00:35:24,990
Yes, with my body.
1003
00:35:25,030 --> 00:35:26,030
You didn't call her.
1004
00:35:26,060 --> 00:35:27,570
I lost my phone in a cab.
1005
00:35:27,650 --> 00:35:29,350
And you unleashed her Khaleesi.
1006
00:35:29,945 --> 00:35:32,190
Wait, you mean like Game of Thrones
Khaleesi?
1007
00:35:32,430 --> 00:35:32,650
Yes.
1008
00:35:33,380 --> 00:35:38,690
Either A, we make multiple babies with
you, or B, we cut your dick off.
1009
00:35:40,290 --> 00:35:40,730
Jesus.
1010
00:35:40,731 --> 00:35:43,170
I got my fingers crossed out here for an
option C.
1011
00:35:43,690 --> 00:35:45,910
C, you appease her.
1012
00:35:46,310 --> 00:35:47,790
And how do you appease your Khaleesi?
1013
00:35:48,140 --> 00:35:49,910
I spend about a month's rent on this.
1014
00:35:54,010 --> 00:35:55,010
What do you think?
1015
00:35:55,070 --> 00:35:55,510
Yeah.
1016
00:35:56,070 --> 00:35:58,250
I mean, you should definitely wear stuff
over it.
1017
00:35:58,450 --> 00:35:59,450
Nice, Neg.
1018
00:35:59,750 --> 00:36:00,750
Mousetrap.
1019
00:36:07,790 --> 00:36:15,790
Dashing through the snow In a one-horse
open sleigh Hey, you've reached Lainey.
1020
00:36:15,890 --> 00:36:16,890
It's a message.
1021
00:36:17,070 --> 00:36:18,110
Hey, dude, it's me.
1022
00:36:18,230 --> 00:36:20,013
Haven't heard from you in a
while, so I'm gonna guess you
1023
00:36:20,014 --> 00:36:23,030
either finally fucked Jake
or you got into med school.
1024
00:36:23,270 --> 00:36:25,070
Either way, mazel tov.
1025
00:36:25,110 --> 00:36:25,810
Happy Hanukkah.
1026
00:36:25,811 --> 00:36:26,986
Whatever the fuck you're into.
1027
00:36:27,010 --> 00:36:27,610
Okay, call me back.
1028
00:36:27,650 --> 00:36:29,770
Just pick a TV and we'll get out of here.
1029
00:36:29,870 --> 00:36:30,870
So tell me what happened.
1030
00:36:31,170 --> 00:36:31,730
Oh, right.
1031
00:36:31,830 --> 00:36:32,210
Okay, yeah.
1032
00:36:32,270 --> 00:36:33,670
So I've been seeing this gal, Thea.
1033
00:36:34,350 --> 00:36:35,350
She's black.
1034
00:36:35,590 --> 00:36:36,911
And... Wait, stop.
1035
00:36:37,070 --> 00:36:39,370
Does this story end with you doing
something super racist?
1036
00:36:40,430 --> 00:36:41,490
Oh my God, no.
1037
00:36:42,150 --> 00:36:43,570
Why are you telling me she's black?
1038
00:36:45,190 --> 00:36:46,190
I don't know.
1039
00:36:46,350 --> 00:36:47,646
I'm just trying to give you a mental
picture.
1040
00:36:47,670 --> 00:36:48,670
That's all.
1041
00:36:49,810 --> 00:36:50,810
Okay, racist.
1042
00:36:51,250 --> 00:36:52,250
Keep going.
1043
00:36:52,590 --> 00:36:54,770
Okay, well, we go see a movie during the
day.
1044
00:36:54,771 --> 00:36:58,210
And she's super smart and cool and also
gorgeous, but I do what we talked about.
1045
00:36:58,310 --> 00:36:59,470
I do not sleep with her.
1046
00:37:00,130 --> 00:37:01,130
You're so strong.
1047
00:37:01,450 --> 00:37:02,450
I'm so proud.
1048
00:37:02,570 --> 00:37:04,970
Hey, not all of us can remain celibate for
a year, all right?
1049
00:37:05,110 --> 00:37:06,410
I was waiting for the right guy.
1050
00:37:07,170 --> 00:37:08,170
The white guy?
1051
00:37:08,330 --> 00:37:09,330
Who's racist now?
1052
00:37:10,070 --> 00:37:11,170
The right guy?
1053
00:37:11,590 --> 00:37:12,270
Oh, the right guy.
1054
00:37:12,410 --> 00:37:13,886
Oh, the one you waited for ten years?
1055
00:37:13,910 --> 00:37:14,490
That right guy?
1056
00:37:14,630 --> 00:37:15,430
You know, he's married now?
1057
00:37:15,530 --> 00:37:15,810
That one?
1058
00:37:16,460 --> 00:37:17,706
What are we doing in this aisle?
1059
00:37:17,730 --> 00:37:19,290
Can I finish my story, please?
1060
00:37:19,790 --> 00:37:22,570
I wait four days and I call her and we go
out again.
1061
00:37:22,870 --> 00:37:23,310
Mm-hmm.
1062
00:37:23,311 --> 00:37:23,950
All right?
1063
00:37:24,130 --> 00:37:24,710
No sex.
1064
00:37:24,910 --> 00:37:27,450
I mean, we hook up, but I don't,
like, finger her or anything.
1065
00:37:27,750 --> 00:37:28,070
Awesome.
1066
00:37:28,370 --> 00:37:30,566
So, I call her last night,
and I'm like, hey, do
1067
00:37:30,567 --> 00:37:32,410
you want to go see the
new Wes Anderson movie?
1068
00:37:32,670 --> 00:37:33,670
Ugh.
1069
00:37:33,990 --> 00:37:34,310
What?
1070
00:37:34,850 --> 00:37:37,490
Well, and then she's like...
Jake, what are you doing?
1071
00:37:37,770 --> 00:37:39,150
And I'm like, oh, of course.
1072
00:37:39,210 --> 00:37:42,310
Wes Anderson's such a stupid white guy
thing to suggest, you know?
1073
00:37:42,610 --> 00:37:44,810
Okay, racist and also done, yes.
1074
00:37:44,910 --> 00:37:45,090
Mm-hmm.
1075
00:37:45,210 --> 00:37:46,210
You two need any help?
1076
00:37:46,770 --> 00:37:47,830
Uh, no, no, we're good.
1077
00:37:47,870 --> 00:37:49,550
She just takes a while to make a decision.
1078
00:37:49,810 --> 00:37:50,130
Okay.
1079
00:37:50,190 --> 00:37:50,950
Yeah, you get it.
1080
00:37:51,010 --> 00:37:51,270
Yeah.
1081
00:37:51,271 --> 00:37:53,590
So, I'm like, well, do you want to go see
something else?
1082
00:37:53,710 --> 00:37:56,190
And then she says... Why
haven't we had sex yet?
1083
00:37:56,390 --> 00:37:57,630
Do you just want to be friends?
1084
00:37:57,910 --> 00:37:59,810
Because, honestly, I have enough friends.
1085
00:38:00,630 --> 00:38:01,630
Where are you right now?
1086
00:38:02,290 --> 00:38:03,290
Oh.
1087
00:38:03,990 --> 00:38:04,990
Oh.
1088
00:38:05,450 --> 00:38:06,450
Oh.
1089
00:38:06,990 --> 00:38:07,990
That was awesome.
1090
00:38:08,490 --> 00:38:09,510
Oh, my God.
1091
00:38:11,290 --> 00:38:12,290
Oh, golly.
1092
00:38:13,730 --> 00:38:15,170
Oh, sorry if I was too noisy.
1093
00:38:15,171 --> 00:38:16,171
I was like...
1094
00:38:16,490 --> 00:38:17,490
Oh, got in.
1095
00:38:17,910 --> 00:38:18,910
Hey.
1096
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:21,200
Did you, uh...
1097
00:38:22,510 --> 00:38:22,990
No.
1098
00:38:23,310 --> 00:38:23,630
Oh.
1099
00:38:24,310 --> 00:38:25,470
But don't take it personally.
1100
00:38:25,830 --> 00:38:27,470
I don't know orgasm during sex that much.
1101
00:38:28,850 --> 00:38:29,330
So?
1102
00:38:29,870 --> 00:38:31,650
Lots of women don't come during sex.
1103
00:38:32,110 --> 00:38:32,490
So?
1104
00:38:32,990 --> 00:38:33,670
No, no, no.
1105
00:38:33,730 --> 00:38:35,206
That has never happened to me before.
1106
00:38:35,230 --> 00:38:36,350
What positions did you do?
1107
00:38:36,490 --> 00:38:37,030
Mm, no.
1108
00:38:37,170 --> 00:38:37,870
We did everything.
1109
00:38:38,150 --> 00:38:38,330
Why?
1110
00:38:38,350 --> 00:38:39,050
What's your favorite position?
1111
00:38:39,230 --> 00:38:39,770
I don't know.
1112
00:38:39,930 --> 00:38:40,930
The regular one.
1113
00:38:41,110 --> 00:38:42,190
The regular one?
1114
00:38:42,191 --> 00:38:43,191
Come on.
1115
00:38:43,890 --> 00:38:44,890
From behind.
1116
00:38:45,170 --> 00:38:45,610
Exactly.
1117
00:38:45,810 --> 00:38:46,550
Because you hate your dad.
1118
00:38:46,810 --> 00:38:47,810
Oh, my God.
1119
00:38:48,610 --> 00:38:49,090
Mousetrap.
1120
00:38:49,330 --> 00:38:49,970
All set?
1121
00:38:50,330 --> 00:38:50,630
Mm-hmm.
1122
00:38:50,631 --> 00:38:50,850
All set.
1123
00:38:50,870 --> 00:38:54,450
And can I just say, we think you two are
the coolest married couple ever.
1124
00:38:54,850 --> 00:38:55,850
Mm-hmm.
1125
00:38:56,150 --> 00:38:57,590
That's... We don't
get that enough.
1126
00:38:57,630 --> 00:38:57,810
It's so sweet.
1127
00:38:57,870 --> 00:38:58,450
Thank you.
1128
00:38:58,530 --> 00:38:59,070
It's really sweet.
1129
00:38:59,270 --> 00:38:59,670
Happy holidays.
1130
00:38:59,690 --> 00:38:59,970
Let's go, hon.
1131
00:38:59,971 --> 00:39:00,490
Happy holidays.
1132
00:39:00,510 --> 00:39:00,750
Yes.
1133
00:39:00,870 --> 00:39:02,990
We'll just... I will just meet
you out by our minivan.
1134
00:39:03,190 --> 00:39:03,710
I'll meet you out front.
1135
00:39:03,830 --> 00:39:04,270
Okay, great.
1136
00:39:04,350 --> 00:39:05,110
We have to move the car seat.
1137
00:39:05,270 --> 00:39:05,590
Mm-hmm.
1138
00:39:05,630 --> 00:39:06,850
And then there will
be... The whole thing.
1139
00:39:06,930 --> 00:39:07,930
Plenty of room.
1140
00:39:09,150 --> 00:39:09,710
Car seat?
1141
00:39:09,810 --> 00:39:10,810
You already have a kid?
1142
00:39:11,370 --> 00:39:13,750
You know, it's just like... I
mean, when do you orgasm?
1143
00:39:13,870 --> 00:39:14,950
When does it happen to you?
1144
00:39:14,990 --> 00:39:15,910
When I'm with Matthew.
1145
00:39:15,911 --> 00:39:17,070
Yeah, yeah, okay.
1146
00:39:17,410 --> 00:39:18,410
And that's it.
1147
00:39:19,890 --> 00:39:20,890
That's it?
1148
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:23,526
Okay, well, that just explained
everything.
1149
00:39:23,550 --> 00:39:26,210
That, that's, I mean, you haven't had an
orgasm in a year?
1150
00:39:28,630 --> 00:39:31,850
I think it's a little bit weird that a
straight dude had to tell you that.
1151
00:39:31,890 --> 00:39:33,110
I think it's sort of great.
1152
00:39:33,510 --> 00:39:34,970
I mean, he's, he's actually dating.
1153
00:39:35,130 --> 00:39:38,430
He's not cheating, and I hardly think
about Matthew, like, ever.
1154
00:39:38,690 --> 00:39:40,706
Yeah, because you're in a relationship
with each other.
1155
00:39:40,730 --> 00:39:41,730
No, we're not.
1156
00:39:42,130 --> 00:39:43,450
Hell, you're not out there.
1157
00:39:43,610 --> 00:39:45,890
I mean, this Jay guy is hitting up the
most people in the world.
1158
00:39:45,910 --> 00:39:48,830
It's emotional real estate that could be
occupied by a real option, okay?
1159
00:39:48,950 --> 00:39:52,970
You lease this space out to Matthew,
rent free I might add, and now you just
1160
00:39:52,971 --> 00:39:55,950
replace him with another unavailable
avoidant breeder.
1161
00:39:56,030 --> 00:39:57,030
You don't fuck.
1162
00:40:00,590 --> 00:40:01,590
You got a minute?
1163
00:40:01,950 --> 00:40:02,950
Not really.
1164
00:40:03,010 --> 00:40:04,570
I'm kind of in the middle of something.
1165
00:40:05,350 --> 00:40:06,070
I was thinking.
1166
00:40:06,350 --> 00:40:07,350
Oh yeah?
1167
00:40:07,630 --> 00:40:10,350
Do you want to come to Henry's birthday
party this weekend?
1168
00:40:11,770 --> 00:40:12,170
Really?
1169
00:40:12,570 --> 00:40:12,970
Yep.
1170
00:40:13,345 --> 00:40:16,550
Xander, in the eight years I've known you
as a father, you have never once invited
1171
00:40:16,551 --> 00:40:18,066
me to any function involving your
children.
1172
00:40:18,090 --> 00:40:18,490
Hear me out.
1173
00:40:18,690 --> 00:40:22,630
I was thinking maybe you and Lainey could
come by.
1174
00:40:22,631 --> 00:40:23,250
I knew it.
1175
00:40:23,251 --> 00:40:23,410
No.
1176
00:40:24,070 --> 00:40:25,326
See, Lainey and I are not dating.
1177
00:40:25,350 --> 00:40:25,890
I know that.
1178
00:40:26,030 --> 00:40:26,230
Do you understand that?
1179
00:40:26,231 --> 00:40:27,671
I'm not saying you have to date her.
1180
00:40:27,715 --> 00:40:29,236
I'm not saying you have to come as a
couple.
1181
00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:31,510
I'm just saying arrive at the party
together.
1182
00:40:32,150 --> 00:40:34,790
Come as friends or whatever this fucked up
thing you guys are doing is.
1183
00:40:34,791 --> 00:40:35,350
We're best friends.
1184
00:40:35,590 --> 00:40:36,590
No, we're best friends.
1185
00:40:36,690 --> 00:40:37,690
That's not true.
1186
00:40:37,730 --> 00:40:38,730
What?
1187
00:40:39,190 --> 00:40:42,830
Look, she's my best friend and I would say
by circumstance and certainly duration,
1188
00:40:43,380 --> 00:40:44,666
you would be my next best friend.
1189
00:40:44,690 --> 00:40:44,850
Okay.
1190
00:40:45,090 --> 00:40:45,810
You know what?
1191
00:40:45,811 --> 00:40:46,811
I'll even allow that.
1192
00:40:47,020 --> 00:40:48,470
You're my last single friend.
1193
00:40:48,550 --> 00:40:49,950
I can't have you... So what?
1194
00:40:50,030 --> 00:40:51,370
...add these things mingling single.
1195
00:40:51,371 --> 00:40:52,430
Hey, talk about... Yes?
1196
00:40:52,860 --> 00:40:54,406
We've been meeting with group sales in 20.
1197
00:40:54,430 --> 00:40:55,090
Are you two prepared?
1198
00:40:55,390 --> 00:40:55,530
Huh?
1199
00:40:55,670 --> 00:40:56,250
Not at all.
1200
00:40:56,460 --> 00:40:59,270
Should I reschedule the meeting when you
are ready?
1201
00:40:59,390 --> 00:41:00,476
Five or six months from now?
1202
00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:02,090
I would make it a cool seven.
1203
00:41:02,250 --> 00:41:02,610
Yeah.
1204
00:41:02,870 --> 00:41:03,490
Seven, at least.
1205
00:41:03,650 --> 00:41:04,850
Shoot, I'm not available then.
1206
00:41:04,910 --> 00:41:05,910
Oh, well, I tried.
1207
00:41:06,210 --> 00:41:07,210
See you in 20?
1208
00:41:07,550 --> 00:41:08,550
You got it, boss.
1209
00:41:09,250 --> 00:41:10,250
Oh, you...
1210
00:41:10,510 --> 00:41:10,870
Mousetrap.
1211
00:41:11,170 --> 00:41:12,170
What the fuck is that?
1212
00:41:12,330 --> 00:41:13,030
That was repartee.
1213
00:41:13,250 --> 00:41:15,070
This is exactly why I can't have you at
the party.
1214
00:41:15,071 --> 00:41:16,970
Because you have repartee with everybody.
1215
00:41:17,570 --> 00:41:18,570
You love repartee.
1216
00:41:19,070 --> 00:41:21,201
All you want to do is
flit around the party,
1217
00:41:21,202 --> 00:41:24,091
flirt with the moms, and
then they all get mad.
1218
00:41:24,130 --> 00:41:25,450
And then they turn on each other.
1219
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:26,560
Then they yell at Naomi.
1220
00:41:26,905 --> 00:41:28,070
Then Naomi yells at me.
1221
00:41:28,475 --> 00:41:30,395
Then they won't let their kids play with
my kids.
1222
00:41:30,770 --> 00:41:33,330
Then I have to play with my kids because
my kids have no friends.
1223
00:41:33,450 --> 00:41:36,290
I'm raising friendless children because of
you.
1224
00:41:36,390 --> 00:41:36,850
Do you understand?
1225
00:41:37,230 --> 00:41:40,990
I... It is a cascading
shitstorm that is your creation.
1226
00:41:40,991 --> 00:41:44,830
There's a tremendous amount of Malcolm
Gladwellian logic junk... Well, you spent...
1227
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:47,990
10,000 hours fucking my life up.
1228
00:41:48,310 --> 00:41:49,530
So bring Lainey to the party.
1229
00:41:49,670 --> 00:41:50,170
Okay, fine.
1230
00:41:50,310 --> 00:41:55,430
I will, uh... You know, on behalf of
your children and Naomi, I will, uh...
1231
00:41:55,431 --> 00:41:56,746
I'll talk to Lainey and see what we can
do.
1232
00:41:56,770 --> 00:41:59,130
Listen, I'm not saying you and Lainey need
to date.
1233
00:42:00,250 --> 00:42:03,991
I'm just saying for
the first time, I'm a little
1234
00:42:03,992 --> 00:42:07,210
bit optimistic you might
not become that creepy guy.
1235
00:42:08,390 --> 00:42:09,390
But he's got a point.
1236
00:42:09,530 --> 00:42:11,330
I'm gonna be the creepy old dude.
1237
00:42:11,590 --> 00:42:12,690
Like, that sucks.
1238
00:42:12,950 --> 00:42:15,050
And then what happens when my dick doesn't
get as hard as yours?
1239
00:42:15,051 --> 00:42:15,690
Okay?
1240
00:42:15,910 --> 00:42:16,690
Because that's gonna happen.
1241
00:42:16,730 --> 00:42:17,590
It's gonna happen.
1242
00:42:17,630 --> 00:42:17,990
It's inevitable.
1243
00:42:18,210 --> 00:42:20,010
And young chicks don't put up with that
shit.
1244
00:42:20,110 --> 00:42:21,146
They have no time for that.
1245
00:42:21,170 --> 00:42:25,590
And older women are gonna be no way near
into my nonsense, okay?
1246
00:42:25,730 --> 00:42:27,210
Just not into it at all.
1247
00:42:27,590 --> 00:42:28,966
It's like, at that point, what do I do?
1248
00:42:28,990 --> 00:42:30,950
I just buy the fedora, move to Miami,
right?
1249
00:42:31,210 --> 00:42:33,090
Make a golf cart my only mode of
transportation?
1250
00:42:33,390 --> 00:42:34,650
I can't believe it.
1251
00:42:34,790 --> 00:42:35,190
You're spinning.
1252
00:42:35,191 --> 00:42:36,030
You're spinning and honestly...
1253
00:42:36,031 --> 00:42:38,387
I'm gonna have to get
lucky and happy about, you
1254
00:42:38,388 --> 00:42:40,350
know, bachelor parties
for people's third marriages.
1255
00:42:40,550 --> 00:42:41,110
Like, that's...
1256
00:42:41,210 --> 00:42:41,910
What is that?
1257
00:42:42,090 --> 00:42:43,090
That's crazy.
1258
00:42:44,310 --> 00:42:44,830
It's him.
1259
00:42:45,190 --> 00:42:46,190
Him who?
1260
00:42:47,350 --> 00:42:48,190
He never calls.
1261
00:42:48,250 --> 00:42:48,990
He always texts.
1262
00:42:49,250 --> 00:42:49,610
Oh, hey.
1263
00:42:49,670 --> 00:42:49,810
No.
1264
00:42:49,830 --> 00:42:50,570
Don't answer that.
1265
00:42:50,571 --> 00:42:50,850
Jake.
1266
00:42:50,890 --> 00:42:51,270
Don't answer it.
1267
00:42:51,271 --> 00:42:51,290
Jake.
1268
00:42:51,510 --> 00:42:51,570
No.
1269
00:42:51,670 --> 00:42:51,950
No.
1270
00:42:52,430 --> 00:42:52,790
Absolutely.
1271
00:42:52,791 --> 00:42:53,791
Baby, what are you doing?
1272
00:42:53,870 --> 00:42:53,990
Hey!
1273
00:42:54,090 --> 00:42:55,750
You don't do this anymore, okay?
1274
00:42:55,850 --> 00:42:56,150
Remember?
1275
00:42:56,510 --> 00:42:57,010
We're okay.
1276
00:42:57,170 --> 00:42:57,590
I'm sorry.
1277
00:42:57,690 --> 00:42:57,810
Yeah.
1278
00:42:57,970 --> 00:42:58,930
You gotta breathe, baby.
1279
00:42:58,990 --> 00:42:59,250
Please.
1280
00:42:59,310 --> 00:42:59,410
Please.
1281
00:42:59,430 --> 00:43:00,430
Is there a problem?
1282
00:43:00,470 --> 00:43:00,830
Yeah.
1283
00:43:01,150 --> 00:43:02,830
My wife, she's prone to panic attacks.
1284
00:43:02,970 --> 00:43:04,266
It's this guy she's sleeping with.
1285
00:43:04,290 --> 00:43:04,830
It's all right.
1286
00:43:05,170 --> 00:43:05,530
Okay.
1287
00:43:06,090 --> 00:43:07,650
Dude, get the fuck out of here!
1288
00:43:07,710 --> 00:43:08,710
I got it!
1289
00:43:14,830 --> 00:43:15,110
Will you?
1290
00:43:15,210 --> 00:43:15,550
Okay?
1291
00:43:15,890 --> 00:43:16,290
Okay?
1292
00:43:16,310 --> 00:43:16,470
Here.
1293
00:43:16,510 --> 00:43:16,810
Come on.
1294
00:43:16,811 --> 00:43:17,150
Sit down.
1295
00:43:17,430 --> 00:43:18,190
You're gonna be okay.
1296
00:43:18,390 --> 00:43:18,790
It's all right.
1297
00:43:18,890 --> 00:43:19,590
You gotta breathe.
1298
00:43:19,710 --> 00:43:20,110
Please.
1299
00:43:20,450 --> 00:43:21,450
Okay?
1300
00:43:21,670 --> 00:43:22,670
Okay?
1301
00:43:23,410 --> 00:43:23,810
Yeah.
1302
00:43:24,270 --> 00:43:25,270
There you go.
1303
00:43:25,550 --> 00:43:26,750
Lainey, this is just fear.
1304
00:43:27,290 --> 00:43:27,690
Right?
1305
00:43:27,750 --> 00:43:30,110
A really, really large dose of fear.
1306
00:43:33,030 --> 00:43:34,110
That's all that's going on.
1307
00:43:34,490 --> 00:43:35,490
A little adrenaline.
1308
00:43:35,610 --> 00:43:36,270
In the bad way.
1309
00:43:36,490 --> 00:43:37,490
Does that make sense?
1310
00:43:40,630 --> 00:43:41,630
Also...
1311
00:43:42,570 --> 00:43:42,970
Mousetrap.
1312
00:43:43,310 --> 00:43:44,810
A complete mess.
1313
00:43:44,811 --> 00:43:46,410
Total mousetrap right now.
1314
00:43:46,510 --> 00:43:47,510
Oh my god.
1315
00:43:47,950 --> 00:43:48,350
Stop.
1316
00:43:48,550 --> 00:43:49,710
You're so fucked up.
1317
00:43:49,810 --> 00:43:50,670
I'm fucked up?
1318
00:43:50,690 --> 00:43:51,470
What are you talking about?
1319
00:43:51,670 --> 00:43:54,770
You... You and Kathy Bates in
misery in the middle of Central Park.
1320
00:43:54,930 --> 00:43:55,150
You know?
1321
00:43:55,550 --> 00:43:56,450
Come on.
1322
00:43:56,530 --> 00:43:57,490
Maybe we're both fucked up.
1323
00:43:57,510 --> 00:43:58,110
At least give me that.
1324
00:43:58,470 --> 00:43:58,950
Come on.
1325
00:43:58,970 --> 00:43:59,550
You wanna get out of here?
1326
00:43:59,770 --> 00:44:00,170
Yeah.
1327
00:44:00,270 --> 00:44:01,270
Central Park sucks.
1328
00:44:01,510 --> 00:44:03,910
I mean, it's just a goddamn bird toilet
anyway.
1329
00:44:04,730 --> 00:44:05,730
Anyway, that's...
1330
00:44:07,830 --> 00:44:08,890
Just one more.
1331
00:44:11,810 --> 00:44:12,490
Just one more.
1332
00:44:12,690 --> 00:44:13,510
Just one more.
1333
00:44:13,511 --> 00:44:13,670
Just one more.
1334
00:44:13,671 --> 00:44:14,070
Just one more.
1335
00:44:14,290 --> 00:44:14,790
Just one more.
1336
00:44:14,791 --> 00:44:16,271
This is the greatest movie ever made.
1337
00:44:16,655 --> 00:44:17,726
Yeah, of course you love it.
1338
00:44:17,750 --> 00:44:18,430
I mean, look at it.
1339
00:44:18,570 --> 00:44:19,570
God, I love you.
1340
00:44:19,750 --> 00:44:20,750
That's you, baby.
1341
00:44:20,950 --> 00:44:21,950
I love you!
1342
00:44:22,050 --> 00:44:23,610
I'm gonna murder you while I love you!
1343
00:44:25,110 --> 00:44:26,630
It's the second time you've said that.
1344
00:44:26,810 --> 00:44:27,810
Said what?
1345
00:44:28,695 --> 00:44:32,070
You called me baby just now, and you said
it the other day, too.
1346
00:44:33,530 --> 00:44:34,150
I'm sorry.
1347
00:44:34,410 --> 00:44:34,790
It's okay.
1348
00:44:34,910 --> 00:44:36,550
No, I mean, it was a total accident.
1349
00:44:36,590 --> 00:44:39,531
I don't know why I would... Huh.
1350
00:44:40,370 --> 00:44:41,370
Yeah.
1351
00:44:53,140 --> 00:44:54,300
Do you want to talk about it?
1352
00:44:57,800 --> 00:44:58,800
Talk about what?
1353
00:45:00,990 --> 00:45:02,840
We're not a couple, but we act like one.
1354
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:10,680
Yeah.
1355
00:45:10,681 --> 00:45:11,360
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1356
00:45:11,700 --> 00:45:12,700
Um...
1357
00:45:14,220 --> 00:45:17,480
I mean, I guess I've been putting this
conversation off for a while.
1358
00:45:17,620 --> 00:45:18,180
We don't have to.
1359
00:45:18,220 --> 00:45:19,060
No, no, no, no, no.
1360
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:19,420
It's good.
1361
00:45:19,460 --> 00:45:19,720
It's good.
1362
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:20,760
We should.
1363
00:45:20,860 --> 00:45:21,860
Um...
1364
00:45:24,260 --> 00:45:25,340
Okay, well...
1365
00:45:28,430 --> 00:45:32,120
You take this risk when you start sleeping
with people.
1366
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:33,320
You know, you, uh...
1367
00:45:34,310 --> 00:45:35,430
You risk losing them, right?
1368
00:45:36,750 --> 00:45:40,080
For me, you know, I've never slept with
someone I wasn't willing to lose.
1369
00:45:43,510 --> 00:45:44,510
Except one time.
1370
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:47,520
And, um...
1371
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:52,760
And it kills me that you're probably gonna
go to Michigan.
1372
00:45:54,260 --> 00:45:55,861
And it kills me that I
can't ask you to stay
1373
00:45:55,885 --> 00:45:58,060
because I have no
right to, you know, and...
1374
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:00,700
So I just want to...
1375
00:46:01,980 --> 00:46:04,300
Spend as much time with my best friend as
I possibly can...
1376
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:07,560
Before I lose her again.
1377
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:12,560
I'm sorry.
1378
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:13,200
I'm being selfish.
1379
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:14,240
I know it's like... No.
1380
00:46:14,670 --> 00:46:15,670
You're telling the truth.
1381
00:46:18,220 --> 00:46:19,220
Yeah.
1382
00:46:29,890 --> 00:46:30,890
So what now?
1383
00:46:53,570 --> 00:46:54,570
Will you...
1384
00:46:58,330 --> 00:47:00,650
Take Molly with me and go to a kid's
birthday party?
1385
00:47:02,090 --> 00:47:04,090
I literally thought you'd never ask.
1386
00:47:05,170 --> 00:47:06,530
You thought I'd never get to this?
1387
00:47:06,630 --> 00:47:08,150
I thought you would never get to this.
1388
00:47:08,410 --> 00:47:10,450
You... Where have
you been all my life?
1389
00:47:10,550 --> 00:47:11,550
I've...
1390
00:47:12,430 --> 00:47:13,550
Right over your shoulder.
1391
00:47:15,230 --> 00:47:17,150
Waiting... For the right moment.
1392
00:47:17,570 --> 00:47:18,190
For the right moment.
1393
00:47:18,590 --> 00:47:19,630
Is that a yes or a no?
1394
00:47:23,170 --> 00:47:24,170
Happy birthday!
1395
00:47:25,630 --> 00:47:26,510
Look who it is.
1396
00:47:26,550 --> 00:47:26,910
Look at this.
1397
00:47:26,911 --> 00:47:28,111
What a human we are, isn't it?
1398
00:47:28,170 --> 00:47:28,390
Hello.
1399
00:47:28,690 --> 00:47:29,490
Happy birthday.
1400
00:47:29,550 --> 00:47:29,790
Hi.
1401
00:47:29,791 --> 00:47:30,470
Happy birthday.
1402
00:47:30,490 --> 00:47:30,930
It's your birthday.
1403
00:47:30,931 --> 00:47:31,350
It's your birthday.
1404
00:47:31,490 --> 00:47:33,170
Actually, it's,
uh... It's Henry.
1405
00:47:33,290 --> 00:47:33,690
He's seven.
1406
00:47:34,070 --> 00:47:35,070
She's not seven.
1407
00:47:35,150 --> 00:47:35,410
Oh.
1408
00:47:35,430 --> 00:47:35,650
Oh my god.
1409
00:47:35,651 --> 00:47:36,666
I'm so happy you guys are here.
1410
00:47:36,690 --> 00:47:37,690
Oh my god.
1411
00:47:38,670 --> 00:47:39,370
Hi, you guys.
1412
00:47:39,430 --> 00:47:39,690
Hi.
1413
00:47:39,950 --> 00:47:40,950
We're actually rolling.
1414
00:47:41,570 --> 00:47:41,950
Ecstasy?
1415
00:47:42,130 --> 00:47:42,310
Yeah.
1416
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:44,520
You know, that's how actually Henry was
conceived.
1417
00:47:44,670 --> 00:47:44,990
No kidding.
1418
00:47:45,230 --> 00:47:45,490
Yeah.
1419
00:47:45,910 --> 00:47:46,610
Well, that explains a lot.
1420
00:47:46,611 --> 00:47:47,050
It's a full circle.
1421
00:47:47,270 --> 00:47:47,550
Yeah.
1422
00:47:47,570 --> 00:47:48,650
Don't have a baby, guys.
1423
00:47:49,090 --> 00:47:50,890
No offense, but seriously, just...
1424
00:47:51,310 --> 00:47:51,610
Yeah.
1425
00:47:51,770 --> 00:47:52,330
Be safe.
1426
00:47:52,510 --> 00:47:53,050
You know what I mean?
1427
00:47:53,390 --> 00:47:54,626
But I'm so happy you guys are here.
1428
00:47:54,650 --> 00:47:54,850
Okay.
1429
00:47:54,870 --> 00:47:56,050
It's so good to see you.
1430
00:47:56,051 --> 00:47:56,250
Oh.
1431
00:47:56,650 --> 00:47:58,290
Transformer guy didn't show
up, so... Are you kidding?
1432
00:47:58,370 --> 00:47:58,870
No, no, no.
1433
00:47:58,990 --> 00:47:59,990
Oh my god.
1434
00:48:00,050 --> 00:48:00,570
Just kidding.
1435
00:48:00,730 --> 00:48:01,030
No.
1436
00:48:01,230 --> 00:48:01,530
Okay.
1437
00:48:01,970 --> 00:48:02,270
No.
1438
00:48:02,430 --> 00:48:03,858
And so there's a little
bit of a meltdown, so it's
1439
00:48:03,882 --> 00:48:05,310
a little bit of a crisis,
so I'm glad you're here.
1440
00:48:05,510 --> 00:48:06,510
Oh, is this for Henry?
1441
00:48:06,610 --> 00:48:06,850
Yeah.
1442
00:48:06,970 --> 00:48:07,850
Oh, great.
1443
00:48:07,950 --> 00:48:09,970
He loves New York ladies flip flops.
1444
00:48:09,990 --> 00:48:10,330
Oh, no, no.
1445
00:48:10,331 --> 00:48:10,710
Those are mine.
1446
00:48:10,770 --> 00:48:11,230
Those are for me.
1447
00:48:11,270 --> 00:48:13,350
Those are for me.
1448
00:48:13,351 --> 00:48:13,670
Great.
1449
00:48:13,770 --> 00:48:14,770
Okay.
1450
00:48:14,810 --> 00:48:15,570
That'll be nice.
1451
00:48:15,650 --> 00:48:17,250
Are those hot pads also for me?
1452
00:48:17,290 --> 00:48:17,530
Yes.
1453
00:48:17,690 --> 00:48:18,130
Okay.
1454
00:48:18,131 --> 00:48:19,291
But can I just hold them now?
1455
00:48:19,890 --> 00:48:20,330
Sure.
1456
00:48:20,430 --> 00:48:20,750
Okay.
1457
00:48:20,810 --> 00:48:21,390
Come in.
1458
00:48:21,490 --> 00:48:21,830
Okay.
1459
00:48:21,970 --> 00:48:23,770
Hopefully she goes down for the nap.
1460
00:48:24,790 --> 00:48:25,230
Okay.
1461
00:48:25,330 --> 00:48:26,370
Oh my god.
1462
00:48:26,450 --> 00:48:26,670
Oh, man.
1463
00:48:26,671 --> 00:48:27,030
It's Carlton.
1464
00:48:27,470 --> 00:48:28,070
Oh, wow.
1465
00:48:28,130 --> 00:48:28,350
This is way hard.
1466
00:48:28,351 --> 00:48:29,351
That kid has a hose.
1467
00:48:29,490 --> 00:48:29,650
Huh?
1468
00:48:29,770 --> 00:48:30,070
Oh.
1469
00:48:30,130 --> 00:48:31,290
That kid has a hose.
1470
00:48:31,350 --> 00:48:32,350
You guys made it, huh?
1471
00:48:32,410 --> 00:48:33,870
Welcome to the hellscape.
1472
00:48:33,871 --> 00:48:35,210
It is my son's birthday party.
1473
00:48:36,210 --> 00:48:37,210
It's birth control.
1474
00:48:37,350 --> 00:48:37,590
Okay.
1475
00:48:37,650 --> 00:48:38,650
Why don't I say hello?
1476
00:48:38,690 --> 00:48:39,690
You're
1477
00:48:43,090 --> 00:48:44,790
Ms. Dalton, so you say hi.
1478
00:48:45,030 --> 00:48:46,250
Hi, Ms. Dalton.
1479
00:48:47,310 --> 00:48:47,590
Oh, yeah.
1480
00:48:47,591 --> 00:48:47,910
Great.
1481
00:48:47,950 --> 00:48:48,150
Okay.
1482
00:48:48,190 --> 00:48:49,206
Who wants to learn a dance?
1483
00:48:49,230 --> 00:48:49,390
Me.
1484
00:48:49,790 --> 00:48:50,190
Yeah.
1485
00:48:50,510 --> 00:48:50,910
Okay.
1486
00:48:50,970 --> 00:48:51,770
Everybody go out to the ground.
1487
00:48:51,970 --> 00:48:58,240
Naomi put on track seven on my workout
fix.
1488
00:48:58,600 --> 00:48:59,000
Wait.
1489
00:48:59,040 --> 00:48:59,400
Hey, Lainey.
1490
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:00,980
You don't have to do this.
1491
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:02,300
It's not your responsibility.
1492
00:49:02,500 --> 00:49:02,860
Okay.
1493
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:04,200
Relax.
1494
00:49:04,660 --> 00:49:05,660
We do this for a living.
1495
00:49:05,830 --> 00:49:09,440
Also, two minutes ago, I accepted my body
for the first time.
1496
00:49:10,300 --> 00:49:10,800
Atta girl.
1497
00:49:11,220 --> 00:49:11,620
Okay.
1498
00:49:11,860 --> 00:49:13,380
She dances for a living?
1499
00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:14,440
No.
1500
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:15,080
It deals with kids.
1501
00:49:15,200 --> 00:49:18,720
She told me to relax and the word lasted
for like four seconds.
1502
00:49:19,700 --> 00:49:21,300
Okay, okay, great.
1503
00:49:21,460 --> 00:49:23,300
All right, are you guys ready to learn a
dance?
1504
00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:23,660
Yeah!
1505
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:24,480
Yes!
1506
00:49:24,481 --> 00:49:28,600
Okay, this is good because everybody likes
a person that can dance.
1507
00:49:28,740 --> 00:49:30,940
And this dance, you can do anywhere.
1508
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:34,181
All you need is your... Body!
1509
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:34,760
Yes!
1510
00:49:35,100 --> 00:49:37,240
And, and just a little... Feet!
1511
00:49:37,720 --> 00:49:38,080
Yes!
1512
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:40,240
Okay, you guys ready to learn the moves?
1513
00:49:40,340 --> 00:49:41,496
You ready to learn the moves?
1514
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:41,780
Yes!
1515
00:49:41,940 --> 00:49:43,680
Okay, let's do this!
1516
00:49:51,900 --> 00:49:53,140
My way to stay in.
1517
00:50:12,720 --> 00:50:17,300
Ugh, I miss drugs.
1518
00:50:17,380 --> 00:50:18,840
Why don't we do drugs?
1519
00:50:18,900 --> 00:50:22,280
Because we have to control these lives
that we gave birth to.
1520
00:50:23,060 --> 00:50:24,860
First of all, I gave birth to.
1521
00:50:25,020 --> 00:50:26,400
We gave birth to?
1522
00:50:42,790 --> 00:50:47,610
I have not felt that free, maybe,
my whole life.
1523
00:50:47,870 --> 00:50:48,110
What?
1524
00:50:48,350 --> 00:50:51,670
I don't want that.
1525
00:50:51,810 --> 00:50:52,070
Here we go.
1526
00:50:52,150 --> 00:50:53,150
What are you doing?
1527
00:50:53,670 --> 00:50:55,790
Okay, okay, he's gonna put his dog to it.
1528
00:50:55,970 --> 00:50:59,290
Hey, all right, hey, now we're gonna,
now it's time to freestyle.
1529
00:50:59,550 --> 00:51:00,630
Who knows how to freestyle?
1530
00:51:00,770 --> 00:51:00,910
Me!
1531
00:51:01,190 --> 00:51:02,606
All right, all right, grab your folks.
1532
00:51:02,630 --> 00:51:03,630
Who's the choreographer?
1533
00:51:03,690 --> 00:51:05,150
Oh, that's Jake's friend, Laney.
1534
00:51:05,430 --> 00:51:07,990
Jake's friend, Laney, who he really wants
to fuck.
1535
00:51:08,110 --> 00:51:08,210
Yeah.
1536
00:51:08,450 --> 00:51:10,510
He really wants to get deep, deep up in
there.
1537
00:51:10,710 --> 00:51:10,750
Like, bad.
1538
00:51:10,751 --> 00:51:11,070
Like, gross.
1539
00:51:11,270 --> 00:51:11,630
Mm-hmm.
1540
00:51:11,830 --> 00:51:12,830
So, is he single?
1541
00:51:12,870 --> 00:51:13,570
Oh, 100%.
1542
00:51:13,571 --> 00:51:14,571
Yeah.
1543
00:51:33,900 --> 00:51:35,340
This was an awful idea.
1544
00:51:37,100 --> 00:51:38,520
Oh, wow, that's weird.
1545
00:51:38,580 --> 00:51:40,380
I can hear my mom's voice when I'm
underwater.
1546
00:51:40,820 --> 00:51:42,340
Oh, this is good stuff.
1547
00:51:42,620 --> 00:51:43,620
Excuse me.
1548
00:51:44,020 --> 00:51:44,680
I'm Chris.
1549
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:45,840
This is Paul.
1550
00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:46,880
Laney.
1551
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:47,520
Jake.
1552
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:49,160
Ah, hi, you two.
1553
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:50,200
Are you guys married?
1554
00:51:50,860 --> 00:51:51,840
This is my son.
1555
00:51:51,860 --> 00:51:52,080
Hi.
1556
00:51:52,780 --> 00:51:53,000
I'm going to do this with you.
1557
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:54,020
Didn't you, buddy?
1558
00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:56,560
Dude, are you really using your kid to hit
on my friend?
1559
00:51:56,740 --> 00:51:57,200
Shut up.
1560
00:51:57,460 --> 00:51:57,960
Ignore him.
1561
00:51:58,020 --> 00:51:58,560
He's on drugs.
1562
00:51:58,740 --> 00:51:58,980
Ah.
1563
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:00,440
Aw, nice to meet you.
1564
00:52:00,720 --> 00:52:04,300
We're heading out, but here's my info in
case you feel like you might need it.
1565
00:52:05,220 --> 00:52:05,820
Come on, buddy.
1566
00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:06,700
You can drive.
1567
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:07,920
Oh, boy.
1568
00:52:08,060 --> 00:52:09,600
In case you might need it?
1569
00:52:09,660 --> 00:52:11,180
Why would you need his info?
1570
00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:13,040
You're jealous.
1571
00:52:14,270 --> 00:52:17,320
I'm going to assume it's because you're
coming down with a powerful drug.
1572
00:52:17,420 --> 00:52:18,820
First part false, second part true.
1573
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:19,880
Chris Smith.
1574
00:52:20,240 --> 00:52:21,240
Hold on, what?
1575
00:52:21,740 --> 00:52:22,540
His name's Chris Smith?
1576
00:52:22,541 --> 00:52:23,541
Is that it?
1577
00:52:23,940 --> 00:52:24,940
It is?
1578
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:27,440
As in Chris Smith tree?
1579
00:52:28,540 --> 00:52:29,620
As in Chris Smith girl?
1580
00:52:29,860 --> 00:52:30,100
No.
1581
00:52:30,580 --> 00:52:31,580
Holy smokes.
1582
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:33,880
I always thought you'd be heavier with a
beard.
1583
00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:34,700
He's a little old.
1584
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:35,380
I love it.
1585
00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:35,700
It's great.
1586
00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:36,400
OK.
1587
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:37,706
I'm going to try again, all right?
1588
00:52:37,730 --> 00:52:39,236
Just see if any of the water goes down.
1589
00:52:39,260 --> 00:52:40,020
I'm going to see how much I can drink.
1590
00:52:40,180 --> 00:52:41,180
Here we go.
1591
00:52:45,900 --> 00:52:47,420
I love those rush hour movies.
1592
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:48,480
Oh, my God.
1593
00:52:48,720 --> 00:52:50,880
Anything that that African-American guy
says.
1594
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:51,680
Anything at all.
1595
00:52:51,720 --> 00:52:52,180
And I'm laughing.
1596
00:52:52,181 --> 00:52:52,620
You know?
1597
00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:52,900
Oh.
1598
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:53,580
Uh-huh.
1599
00:52:53,980 --> 00:52:54,540
Yeah.
1600
00:52:54,980 --> 00:52:56,140
That was dumb.
1601
00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:56,920
No, crisp.
1602
00:52:57,180 --> 00:52:57,940
It's fine.
1603
00:52:58,140 --> 00:52:58,680
They're great.
1604
00:52:58,720 --> 00:52:59,720
They're such good movies.
1605
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:01,500
I was married for eight years.
1606
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:05,800
I just haven't done this in a while.
1607
00:53:06,760 --> 00:53:07,760
Me neither.
1608
00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:10,880
You okay?
1609
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:12,560
Yeah.
1610
00:53:12,900 --> 00:53:13,900
Yeah.
1611
00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:15,040
Ugh.
1612
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:25,560
Be rude to him.
1613
00:53:30,770 --> 00:53:31,770
Yeah.
1614
00:53:32,630 --> 00:53:33,630
Yeah.
1615
00:53:34,870 --> 00:53:35,870
Yeah.
1616
00:53:36,530 --> 00:53:37,530
Oh.
1617
00:53:37,730 --> 00:53:38,730
Oh.
1618
00:53:40,470 --> 00:53:41,950
That was ridiculous.
1619
00:53:45,115 --> 00:53:46,210
The dirty DJ was our thing.
1620
00:53:46,590 --> 00:53:47,590
Okay?
1621
00:53:47,730 --> 00:53:48,170
Jay.
1622
00:53:48,310 --> 00:53:48,830
That was our thing.
1623
00:53:49,010 --> 00:53:51,030
Okay, let me be super clear here.
1624
00:53:51,190 --> 00:53:51,390
Mm-hmm.
1625
00:53:51,410 --> 00:53:51,830
Please.
1626
00:53:52,090 --> 00:53:54,650
We don't have things that are sexual.
1627
00:53:55,110 --> 00:53:56,530
We don't sleep with each other.
1628
00:53:56,930 --> 00:53:58,730
So we don't have things.
1629
00:53:59,210 --> 00:54:00,630
Okay, but you know what I mean.
1630
00:54:00,790 --> 00:54:01,310
All right?
1631
00:54:01,330 --> 00:54:02,330
Alright?
1632
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:04,390
I taught you that as a gift to you.
1633
00:54:04,430 --> 00:54:07,110
That was not a Chris Smith gift,
okay?
1634
00:54:07,230 --> 00:54:09,626
So I don't get mad when you bring other
chicks to our restaurant?
1635
00:54:09,650 --> 00:54:10,650
Our restaurant?
1636
00:54:10,810 --> 00:54:12,270
Oh, thank you, yeah.
1637
00:54:12,350 --> 00:54:13,350
Our restaurant.
1638
00:54:13,610 --> 00:54:15,570
I didn't know we put a down payment on
this place.
1639
00:54:15,850 --> 00:54:16,510
Come on.
1640
00:54:16,690 --> 00:54:20,510
You know, I love that you get ownership
over a randomly selected dumpling spot,
1641
00:54:20,670 --> 00:54:21,090
but me?
1642
00:54:21,190 --> 00:54:23,958
I can't share with you the
slightest disappointment
1643
00:54:23,959 --> 00:54:25,830
over you co-opting an
original idea of mine.
1644
00:54:26,030 --> 00:54:29,890
Okay, first of all, you're not the Mark
Zuckerberg of vaginas.
1645
00:54:29,891 --> 00:54:30,906
No, I don't know who that is.
1646
00:54:30,930 --> 00:54:36,030
And secondly, do not gaslight me with SAT
words and sliding scale morality.
1647
00:54:36,290 --> 00:54:37,110
I'm not one of your dates.
1648
00:54:37,170 --> 00:54:37,930
That is very true.
1649
00:54:38,070 --> 00:54:39,286
No, you are not one of my dates.
1650
00:54:39,310 --> 00:54:39,610
And I'm glad.
1651
00:54:39,710 --> 00:54:41,790
No, the lady doesn't need it.
1652
00:54:41,791 --> 00:54:42,350
She doesn't deserve it.
1653
00:54:42,450 --> 00:54:43,450
We appreciate that.
1654
00:54:43,451 --> 00:54:43,510
I would like that, please.
1655
00:54:43,511 --> 00:54:44,410
I actually would like the water,
please.
1656
00:54:44,411 --> 00:54:45,790
Sir, I can't stress enough.
1657
00:54:45,970 --> 00:54:47,670
If we give her water, I don't know what
happens.
1658
00:54:47,671 --> 00:54:47,870
Give me the water.
1659
00:54:47,871 --> 00:54:48,490
You need to give me this water.
1660
00:54:48,491 --> 00:54:48,850
See, she's addicted.
1661
00:54:49,110 --> 00:54:49,670
She's addicted.
1662
00:54:49,671 --> 00:54:50,671
This is an addict.
1663
00:54:50,750 --> 00:54:52,550
I've seen it a hundred times with her.
1664
00:54:52,810 --> 00:54:53,810
You gotta trust me.
1665
00:54:53,990 --> 00:54:55,910
You have lost your mind.
1666
00:54:56,190 --> 00:54:57,990
Well, you have lost your water.
1667
00:54:58,350 --> 00:54:58,710
God.
1668
00:54:58,790 --> 00:54:59,790
So?
1669
00:55:00,015 --> 00:55:01,230
I guess we're tied.
1670
00:55:02,590 --> 00:55:05,050
I want to be able to talk to you about
this kind of thing.
1671
00:55:05,210 --> 00:55:05,970
I sense that.
1672
00:55:06,050 --> 00:55:06,590
That's obvious.
1673
00:55:06,730 --> 00:55:07,370
I just don't know why.
1674
00:55:07,610 --> 00:55:09,710
You talk to me about Chicks Who Screw all
the time.
1675
00:55:09,890 --> 00:55:10,890
That's different.
1676
00:55:13,050 --> 00:55:13,430
Why?
1677
00:55:13,770 --> 00:55:14,970
Because I'm going inside them.
1678
00:55:15,030 --> 00:55:16,630
You're talking about someone inside you.
1679
00:55:17,330 --> 00:55:17,710
Stop.
1680
00:55:18,330 --> 00:55:19,330
Grody.
1681
00:55:20,690 --> 00:55:24,270
This is the beater contract that has to go
to legal for comments.
1682
00:55:24,710 --> 00:55:25,290
Knock, knock.
1683
00:55:25,510 --> 00:55:26,510
Hey, you got a minute?
1684
00:55:27,930 --> 00:55:28,930
I mean...
1685
00:55:29,350 --> 00:55:29,970
A real minute?
1686
00:55:30,270 --> 00:55:30,890
New York minute?
1687
00:55:30,990 --> 00:55:31,210
I don't know.
1688
00:55:31,250 --> 00:55:31,850
Yeah, a real minute.
1689
00:55:31,890 --> 00:55:32,370
Sixty seconds.
1690
00:55:32,790 --> 00:55:33,070
Sure.
1691
00:55:33,570 --> 00:55:34,570
Okay.
1692
00:55:34,610 --> 00:55:35,610
Um...
1693
00:55:35,900 --> 00:55:36,690
What was the other thing?
1694
00:55:36,730 --> 00:55:38,026
Oh, yeah, buzz me for the three o'clock.
1695
00:55:38,050 --> 00:55:38,410
And that's it.
1696
00:55:38,710 --> 00:55:38,990
Okay.
1697
00:55:39,050 --> 00:55:40,050
Yeah, don't fuck that up.
1698
00:55:42,370 --> 00:55:43,190
You don't let them have it.
1699
00:55:43,350 --> 00:55:45,050
Hey, will you sign this for me,
please?
1700
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:47,126
Well, I have to know what it is first.
1701
00:55:47,150 --> 00:55:48,790
It's a nullification of my contract.
1702
00:55:49,700 --> 00:55:52,690
It says I resign and forfeit any vesting
stock options to Xander.
1703
00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:55,200
And why would you do that?
1704
00:55:56,510 --> 00:55:56,790
Oh.
1705
00:55:57,050 --> 00:55:57,330
Right.
1706
00:55:57,390 --> 00:55:57,510
No.
1707
00:55:57,570 --> 00:55:59,170
Because I want to go on a date with you.
1708
00:55:59,350 --> 00:55:59,710
Silly.
1709
00:56:00,210 --> 00:56:01,526
Uh, you can just sign the back here.
1710
00:56:01,550 --> 00:56:02,230
Three places.
1711
00:56:02,470 --> 00:56:03,790
You can use my pen if you'd like.
1712
00:56:04,195 --> 00:56:06,610
And as you can see, I've executed my half,
so...
1713
00:56:07,070 --> 00:56:09,830
You stand to make over five million
dollars in the next two years.
1714
00:56:09,930 --> 00:56:10,230
Oh, shit.
1715
00:56:10,550 --> 00:56:11,550
Wow.
1716
00:56:11,830 --> 00:56:12,830
That's great.
1717
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:16,280
Uh, but I mean, I never really factor in
money in my decision-making, so...
1718
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:18,520
It doesn't change what I'm doing.
1719
00:56:18,570 --> 00:56:21,890
I appreciate the hardball, but obviously I
can't take a request like this seriously.
1720
00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:25,160
But the seriousness of my request is
reflected in the hardball.
1721
00:56:26,050 --> 00:56:27,050
So I don't...
1722
00:56:27,170 --> 00:56:29,380
I mean... I don't
know what we do here.
1723
00:56:32,790 --> 00:56:35,590
Okay, I'll go on one date with you if you
answer a question truthfully.
1724
00:56:35,790 --> 00:56:36,610
Like the Sphinx.
1725
00:56:36,690 --> 00:56:37,090
I love it.
1726
00:56:37,110 --> 00:56:37,270
Yeah.
1727
00:56:37,735 --> 00:56:39,335
I answer all questions truthfully,
but...
1728
00:56:39,590 --> 00:56:40,590
Fire away.
1729
00:56:41,380 --> 00:56:44,510
What on earth makes you think that I'm
worth five million dollars?
1730
00:56:45,325 --> 00:56:46,630
What makes you think you're not?
1731
00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:53,280
Get out of here.
1732
00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:54,040
Get back to work.
1733
00:56:54,220 --> 00:56:54,660
I'm on break.
1734
00:56:54,700 --> 00:56:55,380
Take this.
1735
00:56:55,381 --> 00:56:55,780
I'm on break.
1736
00:56:55,781 --> 00:56:56,781
And get out of my office.
1737
00:56:57,440 --> 00:56:58,440
Okay.
1738
00:56:59,420 --> 00:57:00,420
Alright, to be continued.
1739
00:57:03,260 --> 00:57:04,260
TTFN.
1740
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:05,680
Um...
1741
00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:08,581
You know, I mean...
Ta-ta for now.
1742
00:57:09,140 --> 00:57:10,760
My ex has my son this weekend.
1743
00:57:12,180 --> 00:57:14,140
And I know a place with cheap tequila.
1744
00:57:14,430 --> 00:57:15,180
Well, we should go there.
1745
00:57:15,300 --> 00:57:16,560
That sounds great.
1746
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:18,000
Can you keep your mouth shut?
1747
00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:20,460
Yeah, I mean, not once we get there.
1748
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:22,340
Tequila makes me so chatty.
1749
00:57:22,500 --> 00:57:23,500
In a good way, I think.
1750
00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:24,960
You mean out here?
1751
00:57:25,140 --> 00:57:25,520
Just, yes.
1752
00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:26,640
Mouth shut, please.
1753
00:57:26,820 --> 00:57:27,760
I'm not gonna say a peep.
1754
00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:28,800
Get out of here.
1755
00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:32,280
Back to work, you.
1756
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:35,080
Yes!
1757
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:38,720
Here you are.
1758
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:41,000
Hey, thanks for coming, Lainey.
1759
00:57:41,420 --> 00:57:43,340
Partners always have to do these bullshit
events.
1760
00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:46,478
I hope your heels are
comfortable because you're gonna
1761
00:57:46,479 --> 00:57:49,280
be standing and talking
to boring people all night.
1762
00:57:49,500 --> 00:57:49,600
Hey, Chris.
1763
00:57:49,601 --> 00:57:50,640
I'm having a great time.
1764
00:57:51,050 --> 00:57:52,120
Thank you for inviting me.
1765
00:57:52,740 --> 00:57:54,260
And these shoes are still comfortable.
1766
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:58,000
Lain.
1767
00:57:59,020 --> 00:57:59,740
Hi, Matthew.
1768
00:57:59,940 --> 00:58:00,940
Good to see you.
1769
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:02,020
This is Chris.
1770
00:58:02,380 --> 00:58:03,120
Nice to meet you.
1771
00:58:03,180 --> 00:58:04,220
Nice to meet you, Matthew.
1772
00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:06,560
Matthew and I were at Columbia around the
same time.
1773
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:07,800
Oh.
1774
00:58:08,060 --> 00:58:09,060
Your name's Lain?
1775
00:58:09,900 --> 00:58:10,900
Lainey is the nickname.
1776
00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:12,320
Didn't know that.
1777
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:13,480
Oh, Lain.
1778
00:58:13,780 --> 00:58:15,260
You've never met my wife, have you?
1779
00:58:15,340 --> 00:58:15,760
I haven't.
1780
00:58:15,780 --> 00:58:16,540
Let me introduce you.
1781
00:58:16,620 --> 00:58:16,820
Emma.
1782
00:58:17,600 --> 00:58:18,600
Come here.
1783
00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:21,120
This is Lain.
1784
00:58:21,740 --> 00:58:22,940
So nice to meet you, Emma.
1785
00:58:22,941 --> 00:58:23,260
Oh.
1786
00:58:23,380 --> 00:58:24,040
This is Chris.
1787
00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:24,740
Hi.
1788
00:58:24,860 --> 00:58:25,100
Hi.
1789
00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:26,160
When are you due?
1790
00:58:26,540 --> 00:58:26,960
October.
1791
00:58:27,420 --> 00:58:28,420
Congratulations.
1792
00:58:28,780 --> 00:58:29,520
Your first?
1793
00:58:29,740 --> 00:58:30,060
Yes.
1794
00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:31,200
It's a boy.
1795
00:58:31,480 --> 00:58:32,620
We're so excited.
1796
00:58:33,780 --> 00:58:35,240
Matthew will be delivering him.
1797
00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:37,340
Oh.
1798
00:58:37,341 --> 00:58:37,760
OBGYN?
1799
00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:38,180
Yes.
1800
00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:38,600
You?
1801
00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:40,520
A partner over at Garrison and Shinkle.
1802
00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:41,680
Man of the law.
1803
00:58:41,880 --> 00:58:42,100
Yeah.
1804
00:58:42,340 --> 00:58:45,160
I worked with you guys when I was a
mediator on Thorpe v.
1805
00:58:45,180 --> 00:58:45,560
Bronwyn.
1806
00:58:45,680 --> 00:58:45,820
Sure.
1807
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:47,240
Elaine, what is it that you do?
1808
00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:48,680
I teach kindergarten.
1809
00:58:49,040 --> 00:58:49,460
That's right.
1810
00:58:49,500 --> 00:58:50,500
I think I knew that.
1811
00:58:50,860 --> 00:58:51,920
Would you excuse me?
1812
00:58:51,921 --> 00:58:53,601
I'm just going to run to the ladies' room.
1813
00:58:56,140 --> 00:58:57,140
Okay.
1814
00:58:59,900 --> 00:59:00,980
Can I cut to the chase?
1815
00:59:01,100 --> 00:59:01,560
I love that.
1816
00:59:01,680 --> 00:59:02,800
I love cutting to chases.
1817
00:59:02,900 --> 00:59:03,280
Do it.
1818
00:59:03,380 --> 00:59:03,660
Okay.
1819
00:59:04,060 --> 00:59:05,060
So you're a womanizer.
1820
00:59:05,260 --> 00:59:06,260
Hey.
1821
00:59:06,460 --> 00:59:07,460
How did you know that?
1822
00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:08,520
Everybody knows that.
1823
00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:09,000
Everybody?
1824
00:59:09,120 --> 00:59:10,820
Your nerds call you Jumpback Jake.
1825
00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:11,480
I have a nickname?
1826
00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:12,000
A nickname.
1827
00:59:12,180 --> 00:59:13,240
That's how bad it is.
1828
00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:14,360
Isn't that bad?
1829
00:59:14,520 --> 00:59:14,620
I...
1830
00:59:15,020 --> 00:59:16,280
Or that's how good it is.
1831
00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:16,640
Right.
1832
00:59:16,740 --> 00:59:17,856
Well, see, that's what I'm saying.
1833
00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:19,436
I mean, I assume they would speak about
me.
1834
00:59:19,460 --> 00:59:21,280
But I thought it was going to be something
more along the lines of like...
1835
00:59:21,281 --> 00:59:22,281
Stellar Yelp reviews?
1836
00:59:22,320 --> 00:59:22,440
Yeah.
1837
00:59:23,220 --> 00:59:23,960
Stellar Yelp reviews.
1838
00:59:24,060 --> 00:59:24,840
So can I ask?
1839
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:25,260
Yeah.
1840
00:59:25,380 --> 00:59:26,380
How do I stop you?
1841
00:59:28,580 --> 00:59:29,960
Were you a fat teenager?
1842
00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:32,300
Do you... No, seriously.
1843
00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:33,916
Did you not get along with your mother?
1844
00:59:33,940 --> 00:59:35,720
Do you just... Do you not like women?
1845
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:38,680
Do you feel suffocated by them as
students?
1846
00:59:38,681 --> 00:59:38,860
Yeah.
1847
00:59:38,861 --> 00:59:39,220
I mean, no.
1848
00:59:39,260 --> 00:59:40,300
It's none of those things.
1849
00:59:40,380 --> 00:59:42,120
God, those are all felt bad.
1850
00:59:42,160 --> 00:59:43,160
No, I think it was...
1851
00:59:46,020 --> 00:59:50,000
I think it's because I was like a late
bloomer.
1852
00:59:50,001 --> 00:59:50,520
Really?
1853
00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:51,000
Yeah.
1854
00:59:51,080 --> 00:59:52,080
Me too.
1855
00:59:52,480 --> 00:59:52,960
Mm.
1856
00:59:52,961 --> 00:59:53,961
Mm-hmm.
1857
00:59:54,180 --> 00:59:55,180
That's amazing.
1858
00:59:55,260 --> 00:59:55,620
Oh, shit.
1859
00:59:55,700 --> 00:59:57,260
Well, I mean, it's different for women.
1860
00:59:57,300 --> 00:59:58,840
I waited till my wedding night.
1861
01:00:01,040 --> 01:00:02,160
Did you grow up in America?
1862
01:00:02,940 --> 01:00:04,000
Holy shit.
1863
01:00:04,200 --> 01:00:07,284
I don't think I've ever...
No, I've never met
1864
01:00:07,285 --> 01:00:09,820
anybody that actually
waited until their wedding day.
1865
01:00:09,900 --> 01:00:11,900
That's like Bobby Fischer kind of
scarcity.
1866
01:00:12,120 --> 01:00:12,300
Okay.
1867
01:00:12,340 --> 01:00:14,580
Well, I grew up very, very religiously.
1868
01:00:14,581 --> 01:00:15,581
What is your excuse?
1869
01:00:15,780 --> 01:00:16,780
Hmm.
1870
01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:18,160
Yeah, my excuse.
1871
01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:19,620
Well, I think it's, uh...
1872
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:22,480
I... I thought it was something that
should be special.
1873
01:00:24,080 --> 01:00:28,220
I think I literally sprouted a vagina when
I said that.
1874
01:00:29,020 --> 01:00:29,420
Check.
1875
01:00:29,500 --> 01:00:31,880
There's a Georgia O'Keeffe painting in my
pants.
1876
01:00:32,840 --> 01:00:33,840
They're a worse thing.
1877
01:00:34,100 --> 01:00:35,100
That's true.
1878
01:00:35,740 --> 01:00:36,140
Pollock.
1879
01:00:36,300 --> 01:00:37,300
Oof.
1880
01:00:39,920 --> 01:00:40,320
Yeah.
1881
01:00:40,460 --> 01:00:41,856
But that was... That's why... Yeah.
1882
01:00:41,880 --> 01:00:45,000
I mean, I had a bunch of friends that had
done it, and it just... I don't know.
1883
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:47,485
At some point, I realized
it wasn't gonna be
1884
01:00:47,486 --> 01:00:49,700
special, and so I just
wanted to get it over with.
1885
01:00:49,701 --> 01:00:52,420
And it's never been special ever since.
1886
01:00:53,280 --> 01:00:54,420
So who was the girl?
1887
01:00:54,740 --> 01:00:55,740
Hmm.
1888
01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:57,040
Do you remember?
1889
01:00:57,940 --> 01:00:58,940
Hmm.
1890
01:00:59,040 --> 01:01:00,040
You need to get back.
1891
01:01:00,260 --> 01:01:01,640
No, no, no.
1892
01:01:01,680 --> 01:01:02,300
It's just a friend.
1893
01:01:02,660 --> 01:01:05,360
You can still get the phone and
have a... I don't want to get the phone.
1894
01:01:05,380 --> 01:01:05,900
It's just a friend.
1895
01:01:05,980 --> 01:01:06,980
It's no big deal.
1896
01:01:08,950 --> 01:01:11,180
Your call has been forwarded to an
automatic voice...
1897
01:01:26,340 --> 01:01:27,700
Are you one of Matthew's patients?
1898
01:01:29,160 --> 01:01:29,560
No.
1899
01:01:29,660 --> 01:01:30,660
I went to Columbia.
1900
01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:32,600
I'm surprised Matthew hasn't mentioned
you.
1901
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:34,480
Oh, well.
1902
01:01:34,640 --> 01:01:36,780
I haven't seen him in a long time.
1903
01:01:37,680 --> 01:01:40,360
It shouldn't bother me, but I don't like
meeting his patients.
1904
01:01:41,680 --> 01:01:44,600
It's so weird meeting someone when your
husband has seen her.
1905
01:01:45,500 --> 01:01:46,500
You know.
1906
01:01:47,140 --> 01:01:48,140
Of course.
1907
01:01:48,920 --> 01:01:50,040
Yeah, I feel the same way.
1908
01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:56,200
Lainey.
1909
01:01:56,580 --> 01:01:57,580
Everything okay?
1910
01:01:57,620 --> 01:01:58,400
Oh, I gotta go.
1911
01:01:58,500 --> 01:01:59,380
Chris, I'm so sorry.
1912
01:01:59,480 --> 01:01:59,740
I'm leaving.
1913
01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:00,360
I'm sick.
1914
01:02:00,640 --> 01:02:01,260
Oh, no.
1915
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:02,456
Well, let me drive you home.
1916
01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:03,000
No, please.
1917
01:02:03,140 --> 01:02:04,461
You're just... Is
everything alright?
1918
01:02:05,240 --> 01:02:06,280
I'm just not feeling well.
1919
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:06,960
Oh.
1920
01:02:07,540 --> 01:02:08,600
We should take our driver.
1921
01:02:09,380 --> 01:02:11,880
No, Emma and I are gonna stick around for
another hour or so.
1922
01:02:12,040 --> 01:02:14,280
But we can drop you off and be back in 20
minutes.
1923
01:02:14,340 --> 01:02:14,520
Easy.
1924
01:02:15,080 --> 01:02:16,200
You don't know where I live.
1925
01:02:16,320 --> 01:02:17,040
That's so nice.
1926
01:02:17,300 --> 01:02:18,300
Are you sure?
1927
01:02:18,540 --> 01:02:18,860
Yeah.
1928
01:02:18,940 --> 01:02:20,296
She'll never get a cab at this hour.
1929
01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:20,660
It's no trouble.
1930
01:02:20,700 --> 01:02:20,880
No.
1931
01:02:21,460 --> 01:02:24,560
Look, I'm really supposed to mingle a bit,
but if you want me to come... It's fine.
1932
01:02:24,900 --> 01:02:25,900
I'll call you tomorrow.
1933
01:02:26,460 --> 01:02:26,780
Okay.
1934
01:02:26,781 --> 01:02:27,500
Oh, yeah, yeah.
1935
01:02:27,520 --> 01:02:27,800
You're sick.
1936
01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:28,640
Feel better.
1937
01:02:28,860 --> 01:02:29,380
Bye, Chris.
1938
01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:30,740
Thank you so much for tonight.
1939
01:02:32,300 --> 01:02:32,920
It's no trouble.
1940
01:02:32,980 --> 01:02:33,980
Thank you.
1941
01:02:36,780 --> 01:02:37,940
So, it's a black town car.
1942
01:02:38,020 --> 01:02:38,620
It's across the street.
1943
01:02:38,621 --> 01:02:39,480
I know what your car looks like.
1944
01:02:39,500 --> 01:02:40,060
I don't need it.
1945
01:02:40,400 --> 01:02:41,200
I like your date.
1946
01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:41,800
He seems nice.
1947
01:02:41,940 --> 01:02:42,460
Fuck you, Matt.
1948
01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:44,320
Why haven't you returned any of my calls?
1949
01:02:44,660 --> 01:02:45,660
I blocked your number.
1950
01:02:45,740 --> 01:02:45,900
Why?
1951
01:02:46,280 --> 01:02:47,640
Because I'm not an asshole.
1952
01:02:48,500 --> 01:02:49,500
Okay.
1953
01:03:00,260 --> 01:03:00,780
No, no.
1954
01:03:00,960 --> 01:03:01,780
Just... No, no.
1955
01:03:01,940 --> 01:03:02,940
What?
1956
01:03:03,540 --> 01:03:04,580
There's something in here.
1957
01:03:08,520 --> 01:03:09,700
What do you want me to do?
1958
01:03:09,840 --> 01:03:10,840
I want you to do nothing.
1959
01:03:13,100 --> 01:03:18,360
I want you to do exactly what you don't
normally do.
1960
01:03:18,720 --> 01:03:19,720
Okay?
1961
01:03:20,100 --> 01:03:21,100
Okay.
1962
01:03:38,760 --> 01:03:39,760
Fuck.
1963
01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:44,520
Shit.
1964
01:04:31,330 --> 01:04:31,820
Fuck.
1965
01:04:32,310 --> 01:04:32,610
Come back.
1966
01:04:32,611 --> 01:04:33,611
Okay.
1967
01:04:34,850 --> 01:04:36,810
Oh, fuck.
1968
01:04:38,480 --> 01:04:41,780
Oh, Ling...
1969
01:04:42,055 --> 01:04:49,090
Oh, sh..
1970
01:04:55,960 --> 01:04:57,000
Oh, shit.
1971
01:04:57,880 --> 01:05:00,840
Oh, fuck.
1972
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:04,580
Oh, fuck.
1973
01:05:04,581 --> 01:05:05,581
Fuck.
1974
01:05:05,940 --> 01:05:06,940
Who's Lainey?
1975
01:05:12,820 --> 01:05:13,980
It's a long story.
1976
01:05:19,140 --> 01:05:20,580
Want to tell me about it?
1977
01:05:25,780 --> 01:05:26,780
Yes.
1978
01:05:48,580 --> 01:05:49,960
She tried calling you.
1979
01:05:51,220 --> 01:05:52,420
My phone died.
1980
01:05:54,620 --> 01:05:56,740
So, how was your day?
1981
01:05:58,660 --> 01:05:59,300
Swell.
1982
01:05:59,301 --> 01:06:00,301
Swell.
1983
01:06:02,340 --> 01:06:03,340
Well...
1984
01:07:23,970 --> 01:07:24,970
It's over.
1985
01:07:25,530 --> 01:07:27,190
He didn't choose me.
1986
01:07:28,530 --> 01:07:30,630
You never told him to make a choice,
you know.
1987
01:07:36,400 --> 01:07:37,540
That was Paula.
1988
01:07:42,850 --> 01:07:43,930
That was a mess.
1989
01:07:47,170 --> 01:07:48,610
Is she nice to you?
1990
01:07:51,690 --> 01:07:52,690
Yes.
1991
01:08:32,150 --> 01:08:33,910
What are we gonna do about it?
1992
01:08:42,960 --> 01:08:43,400
Hey, Lainey.
1993
01:08:43,401 --> 01:08:44,401
What do you wanna do?
1994
01:09:01,910 --> 01:09:03,570
I love you for free, Lainey.
1995
01:09:07,700 --> 01:09:09,300
I love you for free, Jake.
1996
01:10:00,540 --> 01:10:03,920
I guess I can't talk you into a road trip
to Ann Arbor.
1997
01:10:05,200 --> 01:10:06,480
Tempting, but no.
1998
01:10:07,180 --> 01:10:09,100
Paula and I are taking Oliver upstate
tomorrow.
1999
01:10:10,380 --> 01:10:12,180
Do you want me to grab the rest of the
boxes?
2000
01:10:12,500 --> 01:10:12,800
No.
2001
01:10:12,801 --> 01:10:14,536
Cara and George are shipping it to me on
Monday.
2002
01:10:14,560 --> 01:10:14,940
Cool.
2003
01:10:15,000 --> 01:10:15,480
All right.
2004
01:10:15,580 --> 01:10:15,880
I'm good.
2005
01:10:16,380 --> 01:10:17,020
I'm good.
2006
01:10:17,021 --> 01:10:24,480
All right, well, last chance to ditch med
school and run away with me, huh?
2007
01:10:24,600 --> 01:10:25,240
Come on, what do you say?
2008
01:10:25,440 --> 01:10:25,800
Let's go.
2009
01:10:26,060 --> 01:10:27,720
You just sneak in here and I'll drive?
2010
01:10:28,080 --> 01:10:32,800
You know, unfortunately, I don't sleep
with men in relationships anymore.
2011
01:10:33,600 --> 01:10:34,960
It's a new crazy thing.
2012
01:10:35,200 --> 01:10:36,820
No, that's okay, that's okay.
2013
01:10:36,940 --> 01:10:39,080
I stopped cheating anyway, so bad timing.
2014
01:10:39,460 --> 01:10:41,020
What happened to us?
2015
01:10:42,460 --> 01:10:44,120
We're getting a chance to start over.
2016
01:10:44,460 --> 01:10:45,460
That's true.
2017
01:10:45,700 --> 01:10:46,880
It's just in time.
2018
01:10:46,980 --> 01:10:47,160
Oh yeah.
2019
01:10:47,500 --> 01:10:48,460
If you ask me.
2020
01:10:48,500 --> 01:10:50,220
Oh yeah, yeah, before things got really
bad.
2021
01:10:50,400 --> 01:10:51,400
And weird.
2022
01:10:55,600 --> 01:10:58,340
All right, well, goodbye forever.
2023
01:10:59,480 --> 01:11:00,480
Goodbye forever.
2024
01:11:01,020 --> 01:11:02,020
Again.
2025
01:11:03,700 --> 01:11:04,880
Up top, there you go.
2026
01:11:06,020 --> 01:11:07,020
Yep.
2027
01:11:12,660 --> 01:11:13,660
Thank you, Jake.
2028
01:11:15,740 --> 01:11:16,740
For what?
2029
01:11:19,300 --> 01:11:21,000
For teaching me how to love someone.
2030
01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:27,000
Anytime.
2031
01:11:31,100 --> 01:11:32,280
Uh, I'll get this for you.
2032
01:11:32,360 --> 01:11:33,220
Yeah, you gotta close this.
2033
01:11:33,300 --> 01:11:34,300
Yeah.
2034
01:11:36,340 --> 01:11:39,220
It'd be kind of cool, though, if she'd
just hang on in the back.
2035
01:11:39,640 --> 01:11:42,240
Eddie Murphy at the beginning of Beverly
Hills Cop, remember that?
2036
01:11:42,380 --> 01:11:43,380
Cigarette truck, that.
2037
01:11:44,500 --> 01:11:45,620
Uh, all right, drive safe.
2038
01:11:46,340 --> 01:11:47,340
Okay.
2039
01:11:47,780 --> 01:11:48,140
Go.
2040
01:11:48,300 --> 01:11:49,300
Bye.
2041
01:11:51,650 --> 01:11:52,650
Don't be a hotshot.
2042
01:12:06,540 --> 01:12:07,540
Hi, babe, it's me.
2043
01:12:07,620 --> 01:12:10,000
Um, I hope the goodbye went well.
2044
01:12:10,700 --> 01:12:12,100
Oliver and I are on our way.
2045
01:12:12,380 --> 01:12:12,700
Okay.
2046
01:12:12,760 --> 01:12:13,760
See you soon.
2047
01:12:15,580 --> 01:12:16,580
Nice job, Oliver.
2048
01:12:16,640 --> 01:12:18,160
You're a whirling dervish, out there.
2049
01:12:18,200 --> 01:12:19,200
A whirling dervish.
2050
01:12:19,340 --> 01:12:19,660
Nice job, Henry.
2051
01:12:19,900 --> 01:12:20,500
There you go, Henry.
2052
01:12:20,900 --> 01:12:21,420
Right through.
2053
01:12:21,580 --> 01:12:22,360
How's that feel, blue?
2054
01:12:22,460 --> 01:12:22,620
Good pass.
2055
01:12:22,621 --> 01:12:22,660
Good pass.
2056
01:12:22,661 --> 01:12:23,360
How's that feel, blue?
2057
01:12:23,380 --> 01:12:24,380
There you go.
2058
01:12:25,120 --> 01:12:26,860
Yeah, L.A., but they move fast.
2059
01:12:27,140 --> 01:12:28,140
Get it, get it, get it.
2060
01:12:28,540 --> 01:12:28,880
Reverse it.
2061
01:12:28,980 --> 01:12:29,320
Reverse it.
2062
01:12:29,400 --> 01:12:30,400
Yeah.
2063
01:12:30,680 --> 01:12:31,680
Nice pass!
2064
01:12:32,680 --> 01:12:34,780
I'm just a passionate fan, man.
2065
01:12:35,480 --> 01:12:36,020
I'm sorry.
2066
01:12:36,120 --> 01:12:36,580
Go play soccer!
2067
01:12:36,740 --> 01:12:38,060
What are you doing talking to me?
2068
01:12:38,700 --> 01:12:39,780
You're embarrassing me.
2069
01:12:39,800 --> 01:12:41,000
The kid's having a great game.
2070
01:12:41,220 --> 01:12:42,420
Come on, Henry!
2071
01:12:43,020 --> 01:12:44,020
Come on, Henry!
2072
01:12:44,540 --> 01:12:45,540
How's that feel, Blue?
2073
01:12:45,980 --> 01:12:47,000
How's that feel, Blue?
2074
01:12:48,060 --> 01:12:49,460
My love is conditional!
2075
01:12:55,560 --> 01:12:59,280
When we were kids, we had orange slices
after the game.
2076
01:12:59,281 --> 01:13:00,281
Thank you.
2077
01:13:00,420 --> 01:13:02,760
That's like $400 worth of frozen yogurt.
2078
01:13:02,960 --> 01:13:03,900
A ton of toppings.
2079
01:13:03,940 --> 01:13:06,700
She just said it's every topping,
every flavor.
2080
01:13:07,660 --> 01:13:08,660
Hey, what's up, dude?
2081
01:13:08,840 --> 01:13:10,840
Is it okay if I go where Henry used to go
swimming?
2082
01:13:11,640 --> 01:13:12,320
It's cool with me.
2083
01:13:12,321 --> 01:13:12,680
Cool with you.
2084
01:13:12,780 --> 01:13:13,780
At my house?
2085
01:13:13,840 --> 01:13:15,096
You're gonna come swimming to my house?
2086
01:13:15,120 --> 01:13:15,540
Yes, I am.
2087
01:13:15,620 --> 01:13:16,620
Uh-oh.
2088
01:13:16,970 --> 01:13:18,000
Let me think about it.
2089
01:13:18,120 --> 01:13:18,500
What do you say?
2090
01:13:19,000 --> 01:13:19,500
All right.
2091
01:13:19,740 --> 01:13:20,400
I'll allow it.
2092
01:13:20,635 --> 01:13:22,996
You sure you don't want to come to brunch
with me and your mom?
2093
01:13:23,020 --> 01:13:25,520
We're gonna have some Eggs Benedict and
frittatas.
2094
01:13:25,800 --> 01:13:27,740
Yeah, because that's what kids want to do.
2095
01:13:27,860 --> 01:13:28,580
They don't want to go swimming.
2096
01:13:28,680 --> 01:13:29,260
They want to go to the beach.
2097
01:13:29,280 --> 01:13:29,520
They want to go to brunch.
2098
01:13:30,100 --> 01:13:31,100
Thanks, Jake.
2099
01:13:31,380 --> 01:13:32,380
There you go.
2100
01:13:34,200 --> 01:13:36,240
You have really changed, my friend.
2101
01:13:36,420 --> 01:13:36,860
Yes, sir.
2102
01:13:36,880 --> 01:13:38,120
I have to say, I don't mind it.
2103
01:13:38,660 --> 01:13:41,149
I don't know what that
whole thing was with Lainey,
2104
01:13:41,150 --> 01:13:43,461
but it really turned you
around in the right direction.
2105
01:13:44,760 --> 01:13:45,760
How's she doing?
2106
01:13:46,600 --> 01:13:46,960
Lainey?
2107
01:13:47,200 --> 01:13:48,200
Yeah.
2108
01:13:48,700 --> 01:13:49,300
I don't know.
2109
01:13:49,500 --> 01:13:50,660
We haven't talked in a while.
2110
01:13:53,640 --> 01:13:54,640
Look at her.
2111
01:13:54,800 --> 01:13:55,800
Passing out toppings.
2112
01:13:57,720 --> 01:13:58,720
She's just like a dealer.
2113
01:13:59,400 --> 01:13:59,760
What?
2114
01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:00,680
You're mad.
2115
01:14:00,840 --> 01:14:01,900
No, but are you?
2116
01:14:02,120 --> 01:14:02,620
You're both.
2117
01:14:02,800 --> 01:14:03,800
You're crazy.
2118
01:14:03,920 --> 01:14:04,360
Are you Matt?
2119
01:14:04,400 --> 01:14:04,740
You're Mappy.
2120
01:14:04,880 --> 01:14:05,600
We'll just say you're Mappy.
2121
01:14:05,680 --> 01:14:06,320
I can't help it.
2122
01:14:06,360 --> 01:14:07,440
I know.
2123
01:14:07,460 --> 01:14:08,120
It's a birthday gift.
2124
01:14:08,200 --> 01:14:08,760
Can you go to France?
2125
01:14:08,920 --> 01:14:09,160
Okay.
2126
01:14:09,260 --> 01:14:09,940
Do whatever you want.
2127
01:14:09,941 --> 01:14:11,759
Because I'm pretty sure
there's going to be a very
2128
01:14:11,760 --> 01:14:14,080
nice suite at a five-star
hotel just waiting for you.
2129
01:14:14,380 --> 01:14:14,940
But you're right.
2130
01:14:14,980 --> 01:14:15,460
It's a bad idea.
2131
01:14:15,540 --> 01:14:16,120
Maybe you shouldn't go.
2132
01:14:16,240 --> 01:14:18,272
But I've got to find
someone now with your exact
2133
01:14:18,273 --> 01:14:21,041
name that can go to
Europe and use that room.
2134
01:14:21,180 --> 01:14:22,180
Anybody here named Paula?
2135
01:14:23,540 --> 01:14:24,740
Are you crazy?
2136
01:14:25,080 --> 01:14:25,620
Said a lot of people.
2137
01:14:25,640 --> 01:14:26,300
No, not at all.
2138
01:14:26,480 --> 01:14:28,000
I think this is a great idea.
2139
01:14:28,001 --> 01:14:29,260
How did you get this good?
2140
01:14:30,120 --> 01:14:31,740
I spent a long time being bad.
2141
01:14:34,440 --> 01:14:37,040
I just, I mean, I just, just, I mean...
2142
01:14:38,200 --> 01:14:39,200
What?
2143
01:14:42,360 --> 01:14:43,380
Um... I'm sorry.
2144
01:14:43,500 --> 01:14:46,260
I just... I know this guy from somewhere.
2145
01:14:46,800 --> 01:14:47,800
With the glasses?
2146
01:14:48,190 --> 01:14:49,520
I can't put my finger on it.
2147
01:14:49,580 --> 01:14:50,000
From work?
2148
01:14:50,260 --> 01:14:51,260
No.
2149
01:14:53,940 --> 01:14:54,620
A neighbor?
2150
01:14:54,940 --> 01:14:57,860
No, I... I feel like he had longer hair.
2151
01:14:58,480 --> 01:14:59,480
Maybe he's an actor.
2152
01:15:00,700 --> 01:15:01,860
Maybe I knew him at Columbia.
2153
01:15:04,180 --> 01:15:05,180
Columbia.
2154
01:15:09,310 --> 01:15:09,870
You know what?
2155
01:15:09,970 --> 01:15:12,326
I'm... I'm... You mind if I run
over there and just see if it's him?
2156
01:15:12,350 --> 01:15:12,770
Okay, babe.
2157
01:15:13,110 --> 01:15:13,590
All right.
2158
01:15:13,890 --> 01:15:14,890
Be right back.
2159
01:15:18,880 --> 01:15:20,240
Well, we can talk about it.
2160
01:15:21,220 --> 01:15:21,580
Okay.
2161
01:15:21,700 --> 01:15:22,700
So, we check?
2162
01:15:24,160 --> 01:15:25,160
Yeah.
2163
01:15:25,800 --> 01:15:26,160
Ah!
2164
01:15:26,580 --> 01:15:27,580
Oh, you're pregnant?
2165
01:15:27,780 --> 01:15:28,920
Oh, my God!
2166
01:15:29,320 --> 01:15:30,320
Ah!
2167
01:15:43,810 --> 01:15:44,210
Sorry!
2168
01:15:44,290 --> 01:15:44,470
Sorry!
2169
01:15:44,770 --> 01:15:45,770
Ah!
2170
01:15:46,270 --> 01:16:03,920
Boring piece of shit!
2171
01:16:04,160 --> 01:16:05,160
Fucking whore!
2172
01:16:05,240 --> 01:16:06,240
Oh, my God!
2173
01:16:07,320 --> 01:16:07,720
Fine.
2174
01:16:07,940 --> 01:16:08,220
Fine.
2175
01:16:08,260 --> 01:16:08,440
Fine.
2176
01:16:08,900 --> 01:16:09,700
Get up.
2177
01:16:09,720 --> 01:16:10,040
Let's go.
2178
01:16:10,060 --> 01:16:10,260
Ah!
2179
01:16:10,460 --> 01:16:11,460
Get up!
2180
01:16:12,620 --> 01:16:13,620
No!
2181
01:16:13,960 --> 01:16:14,360
No!
2182
01:16:14,720 --> 01:16:15,720
No!
2183
01:16:15,800 --> 01:16:15,860
No!
2184
01:16:16,200 --> 01:16:17,260
Matthew, my water bottle!
2185
01:16:17,380 --> 01:16:18,380
Honey!
2186
01:16:18,460 --> 01:16:18,860
Honey!
2187
01:16:19,160 --> 01:16:19,720
Where is she?
2188
01:16:19,780 --> 01:16:20,400
We need a doctor!
2189
01:16:20,680 --> 01:16:20,980
Wait.
2190
01:16:21,040 --> 01:16:21,520
I'm a doctor.
2191
01:16:21,540 --> 01:16:22,180
I'm her doctor.
2192
01:16:22,300 --> 01:16:22,720
Hold on.
2193
01:16:22,780 --> 01:16:23,100
Hold on.
2194
01:16:23,101 --> 01:16:23,340
Hold on.
2195
01:16:23,620 --> 01:16:24,980
I'm her husband.
2196
01:16:25,120 --> 01:16:25,260
Honey!
2197
01:16:25,280 --> 01:16:26,040
That is my wife.
2198
01:16:26,041 --> 01:16:26,760
And that's my baby.
2199
01:16:26,880 --> 01:16:28,020
And this motherfucker!
2200
01:16:28,021 --> 01:16:29,320
I don't even know.
2201
01:16:29,500 --> 01:16:29,500
Come on.
2202
01:16:29,501 --> 01:16:29,520
Let's go.
2203
01:16:29,660 --> 01:16:30,560
What are you doing?
2204
01:16:30,680 --> 01:16:31,720
Get off of me!
2205
01:16:31,721 --> 01:16:32,721
Fucking maniac!
2206
01:16:32,800 --> 01:16:33,520
Get off!
2207
01:16:33,700 --> 01:16:34,900
No, no, no!
2208
01:16:35,520 --> 01:16:36,080
No!
2209
01:16:36,120 --> 01:16:37,120
No!
2210
01:16:37,280 --> 01:16:38,280
No!
2211
01:16:41,040 --> 01:16:42,040
No!
2212
01:16:44,420 --> 01:16:44,980
No!
2213
01:16:45,400 --> 01:16:46,400
No!
2214
01:16:47,100 --> 01:16:47,660
No!
2215
01:16:47,840 --> 01:16:48,220
No!
2216
01:16:48,221 --> 01:16:48,280
No!
2217
01:16:48,281 --> 01:16:48,560
No!
2218
01:16:48,561 --> 01:16:48,760
No!
2219
01:16:49,240 --> 01:16:49,800
Hey!
2220
01:16:49,940 --> 01:16:50,420
Hey!
2221
01:16:50,580 --> 01:16:50,820
Hey!
2222
01:16:50,821 --> 01:16:51,480
Can't you do anything?
2223
01:16:51,720 --> 01:16:53,600
We were just having fun, didn't you?
2224
01:16:53,900 --> 01:16:54,460
Fucker!
2225
01:16:54,461 --> 01:16:54,560
Look!
2226
01:16:54,561 --> 01:16:56,820
The heli comes out of nowhere and gets
him!
2227
01:16:57,060 --> 01:16:58,080
The heli went!
2228
01:16:58,260 --> 01:16:59,260
Bullshit, motherfucker!
2229
01:16:59,980 --> 01:17:00,980
Oh my God!
2230
01:17:01,040 --> 01:17:02,040
This isn't happening!
2231
01:17:02,120 --> 01:17:03,160
I'd like to see Romeo!
2232
01:17:19,810 --> 01:17:21,330
They're going to book you for assault.
2233
01:17:21,590 --> 01:17:22,030
What?
2234
01:17:22,230 --> 01:17:22,550
Why?
2235
01:17:22,970 --> 01:17:23,250
What?
2236
01:17:23,350 --> 01:17:24,350
Like...
2237
01:17:25,930 --> 01:17:26,370
Sorry.
2238
01:17:26,570 --> 01:17:27,570
Bad joke.
2239
01:17:29,220 --> 01:17:31,026
So you're going to need someone to bail
you out.
2240
01:17:31,050 --> 01:17:31,330
Aw.
2241
01:17:31,470 --> 01:17:32,610
Come on, Paula.
2242
01:17:34,610 --> 01:17:36,030
I don't need a hard ball.
2243
01:17:36,190 --> 01:17:37,190
My girl?
2244
01:17:37,650 --> 01:17:38,050
Who's your girl?
2245
01:17:38,051 --> 01:17:39,051
What?
2246
01:17:39,890 --> 01:17:40,510
What are you...
2247
01:17:40,810 --> 01:17:41,850
Michael, who's your girl?
2248
01:17:43,090 --> 01:17:44,090
Well, I can explain that.
2249
01:17:44,130 --> 01:17:45,471
That's just like...
Who's your girl, Jake?
2250
01:17:46,480 --> 01:17:48,916
I was... That guy's a
fucking asshole who was
2251
01:17:48,917 --> 01:17:51,010
really shitty to a good
friend of mine, okay?
2252
01:17:51,170 --> 01:17:52,070
You can't even say it.
2253
01:17:52,110 --> 01:17:54,230
You can't even look at me and just say her
name.
2254
01:17:57,470 --> 01:17:59,150
I don't even... Give
me the courtesy.
2255
01:17:59,250 --> 01:18:00,230
What are you talking about?
2256
01:18:00,250 --> 01:18:03,310
Like, I haven't even spoken to her since
she left.
2257
01:18:03,311 --> 01:18:06,410
I didn't do anything wrong here,
okay?
2258
01:18:06,750 --> 01:18:08,050
You've been playing house.
2259
01:18:08,110 --> 01:18:09,770
Oh shit, what are you talking about?
2260
01:18:10,010 --> 01:18:10,810
I let my son fall in love with you.
2261
01:18:10,930 --> 01:18:11,670
Oh, come on.
2262
01:18:11,671 --> 01:18:12,671
That is not true.
2263
01:18:12,750 --> 01:18:12,790
I'm lying.
2264
01:18:12,830 --> 01:18:13,690
I'm not lying.
2265
01:18:13,730 --> 01:18:14,510
I have not lied.
2266
01:18:14,750 --> 01:18:18,130
I would not lie to you, to him,
okay?
2267
01:18:19,330 --> 01:18:20,510
I wasn't trying to hurt you.
2268
01:18:20,850 --> 01:18:23,370
Wow, you're really,
you're really... Really what?
2269
01:18:23,770 --> 01:18:24,790
Two different people, mister.
2270
01:18:24,810 --> 01:18:25,810
Oh, come on.
2271
01:18:26,210 --> 01:18:27,550
I am not, okay?
2272
01:18:27,710 --> 01:18:28,790
You're gonna figure it out.
2273
01:18:29,250 --> 01:18:30,250
Figure what?
2274
01:18:30,430 --> 01:18:31,430
What are you doing?
2275
01:18:32,390 --> 01:18:33,050
You're gonna get...
2276
01:18:33,310 --> 01:18:34,310
You're just gonna go?
2277
01:18:35,830 --> 01:18:36,830
Okay.
2278
01:18:37,190 --> 01:18:37,770
Great.
2279
01:18:38,190 --> 01:18:39,190
Great, okay.
2280
01:18:40,950 --> 01:18:41,950
Great.
2281
01:18:44,610 --> 01:18:45,610
Wonderful.
2282
01:18:46,450 --> 01:18:47,450
Fuck it.
2283
01:18:49,230 --> 01:18:50,230
Oh.
2284
01:18:58,920 --> 01:18:59,920
Hey, baby.
2285
01:19:00,330 --> 01:19:01,330
Jake?
2286
01:19:01,620 --> 01:19:02,790
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2287
01:19:02,870 --> 01:19:03,870
How you doing?
2288
01:19:05,870 --> 01:19:07,030
Um, I'm fine.
2289
01:19:07,290 --> 01:19:08,850
Where are you calling me from?
2290
01:19:09,510 --> 01:19:12,790
Hey, did you know they don't have a
separate jail for cool people who fucked up?
2291
01:19:13,430 --> 01:19:14,830
Just one big old jail for everyone?
2292
01:19:15,005 --> 01:19:17,090
Jake, what happened?
2293
01:19:18,690 --> 01:19:22,530
Well, I, uh, I ran into our old college
buddy, Matthew Sovacek.
2294
01:19:25,750 --> 01:19:26,750
Baby, what did you do?
2295
01:19:27,800 --> 01:19:33,150
Well, I, uh, I, uh, sort of beat the shit
out of him.
2296
01:19:33,760 --> 01:19:35,350
Fucked up his life a little bit.
2297
01:19:35,490 --> 01:19:35,930
What it was?
2298
01:19:35,931 --> 01:19:37,436
He beat the shit out of his wife twice.
2299
01:19:37,460 --> 01:19:38,460
Why did you do that?
2300
01:19:40,080 --> 01:19:41,080
I, um...
2301
01:19:43,100 --> 01:19:44,130
Well, I just, um...
2302
01:19:46,935 --> 01:19:47,935
I just really miss you.
2303
01:19:50,130 --> 01:19:52,570
You know, I think about you, like,
all the time.
2304
01:19:53,510 --> 01:19:54,130
You know what?
2305
01:19:54,131 --> 01:19:57,430
The word think is wrong, because I don't
actively do anything.
2306
01:19:57,570 --> 01:19:59,490
You're just...here.
2307
01:20:05,150 --> 01:20:07,030
But I didn't... I didn't think I'd
remember you.
2308
01:20:07,180 --> 01:20:10,390
You know, I thought I'd forget about all
of it, and I, uh, I didn't.
2309
01:20:11,570 --> 01:20:12,570
You know, I just, uh...
2310
01:20:13,210 --> 01:20:16,510
I know we're no good at this shit,
and that's why we agreed to stop seeing
2311
01:20:16,511 --> 01:20:18,231
each other so we wouldn't fuck it up,
but...
2312
01:20:19,970 --> 01:20:21,090
But I want you to come back.
2313
01:20:22,230 --> 01:20:23,230
I need you to.
2314
01:20:25,050 --> 01:20:26,050
Because, uh...
2315
01:20:28,860 --> 01:20:33,130
Because I'd rather fail with you than win
with anyone else.
2316
01:20:40,180 --> 01:20:41,180
Hello?
2317
01:20:44,040 --> 01:20:45,160
Lainey, are you still there?
2318
01:20:46,560 --> 01:20:47,280
Just...keep talking.
2319
01:20:47,360 --> 01:20:49,460
I love hearing your voice.
2320
01:20:49,640 --> 01:20:51,060
I love hearing you say my name.
2321
01:20:51,120 --> 01:20:51,380
You do?
2322
01:20:51,700 --> 01:20:52,060
Jake.
2323
01:20:52,240 --> 01:20:52,600
Lainey.
2324
01:20:52,860 --> 01:20:53,220
Jake.
2325
01:20:53,320 --> 01:20:53,620
Lainey.
2326
01:20:53,960 --> 01:20:54,320
Jake.
2327
01:20:54,520 --> 01:20:55,580
I love you so much.
2328
01:20:55,581 --> 01:20:56,320
I love you.
2329
01:20:56,321 --> 01:20:56,940
Lainey, Lainey, Lainey.
2330
01:20:56,941 --> 01:20:57,800
I love you.
2331
01:20:57,940 --> 01:20:59,080
Lainey, I love you so much.
2332
01:20:59,081 --> 01:20:59,720
I love you.
2333
01:20:59,721 --> 01:21:00,280
I love you.
2334
01:21:00,281 --> 01:21:01,281
I love you, Jake.
2335
01:21:01,640 --> 01:21:02,240
Lainey, Lainey.
2336
01:21:02,300 --> 01:21:03,300
What are you doing?
2337
01:21:03,860 --> 01:21:04,840
Fucking take it off.
2338
01:21:04,860 --> 01:21:06,976
Okay, honey, you're on speakerphone in a
police station.
2339
01:21:07,000 --> 01:21:08,080
Be very careful what you say.
2340
01:21:08,081 --> 01:21:09,081
No, please!
2341
01:21:09,820 --> 01:21:10,820
I love you!
2342
01:21:10,960 --> 01:21:11,680
I love you!
2343
01:21:11,681 --> 01:21:11,720
I love you!
2344
01:21:11,800 --> 01:21:13,480
Don't, don't hurt or harm me!
2345
01:21:13,481 --> 01:21:13,840
Easy!
2346
01:21:14,120 --> 01:21:14,560
Easy!
2347
01:21:14,900 --> 01:21:15,740
Watch it!
2348
01:21:15,860 --> 01:21:16,440
Back off!
2349
01:21:16,560 --> 01:21:17,560
Back off!
2350
01:21:17,900 --> 01:21:18,900
Elaine!
2351
01:21:19,240 --> 01:21:20,240
Elaine!
2352
01:21:20,700 --> 01:21:21,700
Elaine!
2353
01:21:34,630 --> 01:21:35,630
Yes.
2354
01:21:36,810 --> 01:21:37,810
Yes.
2355
01:21:39,340 --> 01:21:40,580
I will communicate the message.
2356
01:21:42,910 --> 01:21:45,050
Mr. Sobocik will not be joining us.
2357
01:21:45,650 --> 01:21:46,770
We will have to postpone.
2358
01:21:46,990 --> 01:21:47,730
Come on!
2359
01:21:47,850 --> 01:21:49,070
This is the third time!
2360
01:21:50,030 --> 01:21:53,810
Look, we have made a generous offer to
settle this lawsuit.
2361
01:21:54,300 --> 01:22:00,890
I forgot
2362
01:22:06,110 --> 01:22:11,420
that Pinkerton was an alias of yours.
2363
01:22:11,995 --> 01:22:13,275
You never caught that reference.
2364
01:22:16,460 --> 01:22:17,540
Madame Butterfly?
2365
01:22:19,465 --> 01:22:22,425
Just because I don't applaud your
intellect doesn't mean I don't notice it.
2366
01:22:31,360 --> 01:22:31,800
Matthew.
2367
01:22:31,980 --> 01:22:36,160
I need you to swear that you didn't plan
this.
2368
01:22:36,420 --> 01:22:37,420
I didn't plan this.
2369
01:22:38,420 --> 01:22:41,460
Jake's offering you a lot of money to
settle this emotional distress lawsuit,
2370
01:22:41,680 --> 01:22:43,400
so just take it.
2371
01:22:43,650 --> 01:22:44,260
Or what?
2372
01:22:44,420 --> 01:22:45,620
Are you threatening me?
2373
01:22:45,800 --> 01:22:47,220
I don't need to threaten you.
2374
01:22:47,380 --> 01:22:47,800
Let me guess.
2375
01:22:47,880 --> 01:22:50,280
I drop it or you tell Emma we slept
together.
2376
01:22:50,920 --> 01:22:51,920
Tell her what I know.
2377
01:22:52,080 --> 01:22:53,080
Which is what?
2378
01:22:56,230 --> 01:22:58,860
I know that you stop breathing when you
kiss.
2379
01:23:00,900 --> 01:23:03,840
That when you lean in
to whisper, you put your
2380
01:23:03,841 --> 01:23:06,621
lips right against the
back of my earlobe.
2381
01:23:07,580 --> 01:23:11,080
That you kiss the back of my neck before
you slip my coat over my shoulders.
2382
01:23:14,480 --> 01:23:16,940
I remember every compliment you ever gave
me.
2383
01:23:18,710 --> 01:23:20,460
Everything you ever did to me in bed.
2384
01:23:23,020 --> 01:23:24,196
And the day you made me yours.
2385
01:23:24,220 --> 01:23:30,740
The day you said, Elaine, I wish I could
have known you when you were a little girl.
2386
01:23:31,200 --> 01:23:33,601
So that I could have been your...
Could have been your true love.
2387
01:23:35,760 --> 01:23:37,300
I remember too, you know.
2388
01:23:39,670 --> 01:23:41,260
Would any of it sound familiar to Emma?
2389
01:23:43,820 --> 01:23:44,820
Some, yeah.
2390
01:23:45,530 --> 01:23:47,552
I don't think she needs to
know the things she holds
2391
01:23:47,553 --> 01:23:49,640
close to her heart were
rehearsed on someone else.
2392
01:23:53,460 --> 01:23:54,460
Goodbye, Matthew.
2393
01:24:04,710 --> 01:24:06,026
So is he going to drop the charges?
2394
01:24:06,050 --> 01:24:07,126
Am I allowed to leave the state?
2395
01:24:07,150 --> 01:24:07,610
He will.
2396
01:24:07,830 --> 01:24:08,330
You may.
2397
01:24:08,670 --> 01:24:09,670
Good.
2398
01:24:09,950 --> 01:24:11,990
Because I booked us a flight back to
Michigan at 10 a.m.
2399
01:24:11,991 --> 01:24:12,490
tomorrow morning.
2400
01:24:12,570 --> 01:24:12,810
Great.
2401
01:24:13,110 --> 01:24:14,230
I have a final at 3.
2402
01:24:14,530 --> 01:24:14,850
Excellent.
2403
01:24:15,070 --> 01:24:15,750
I'll help you study.
2404
01:24:15,770 --> 01:24:16,770
I'll make flashcards.
2405
01:24:17,210 --> 01:24:18,210
So no honeymoon?
2406
01:24:18,470 --> 01:24:18,830
Oh, no, no.
2407
01:24:18,910 --> 01:24:20,146
There's going to be a honeymoon.
2408
01:24:20,170 --> 01:24:22,926
I got us the penthouse suite down at the
plaza right down the road here.
2409
01:24:22,950 --> 01:24:23,270
Nice.
2410
01:24:23,770 --> 01:24:26,650
But first I got to take you downtown and
make an honest woman out of you.
2411
01:24:27,050 --> 01:24:28,050
Rings?
2412
01:24:28,150 --> 01:24:29,150
Shit.
2413
01:24:29,570 --> 01:24:29,890
Kidding.
2414
01:24:30,470 --> 01:24:31,470
Xander's daughter.
2415
01:24:33,090 --> 01:24:37,810
I can't believe we lost our virginity to
each other and saved ourselves for marriage.
2416
01:24:38,030 --> 01:24:38,230
Yeah.
2417
01:24:38,570 --> 01:24:39,390
It was pretty great.
2418
01:24:39,530 --> 01:24:40,250
You were proud of us.
2419
01:24:40,270 --> 01:24:40,770
Nicely done.
2420
01:24:40,970 --> 01:24:42,810
I mean, not like we hadn't done it.
2421
01:24:42,830 --> 01:24:43,170
Of course.
2422
01:24:43,390 --> 01:24:44,150
I know what it looks like.
2423
01:24:44,170 --> 01:24:44,470
Yeah, yeah.
2424
01:24:44,530 --> 01:24:45,110
It's been a while.
2425
01:24:45,370 --> 01:24:47,390
But I know what your situation is down
there.
2426
01:24:47,550 --> 01:24:47,930
Oh, really?
2427
01:24:48,330 --> 01:24:48,730
Yeah.
2428
01:24:48,810 --> 01:24:49,810
How's my situation?
2429
01:24:50,890 --> 01:24:51,890
Are you kidding?
2430
01:24:53,070 --> 01:24:54,070
It's perfect.
2431
01:24:57,550 --> 01:24:59,730
Well, I'm pretty much a dream come true.
2432
01:25:03,530 --> 01:25:04,530
That was great.
2433
01:25:07,230 --> 01:25:08,770
We don't really have
to... No, we don't.
2434
01:25:09,190 --> 01:25:10,190
Say that.
2435
01:25:10,390 --> 01:25:12,170
Well, from safe word to code word,
I guess.
2436
01:25:13,830 --> 01:25:16,210
We should probably... Let's go fuck
first, then we'll meet them down there.
2437
01:25:16,211 --> 01:25:16,550
We gotta do it now.
2438
01:25:16,830 --> 01:25:17,190
Yeah, yeah.
2439
01:25:17,270 --> 01:25:17,890
But let's be quick.
2440
01:25:18,090 --> 01:25:18,350
Yeah, yeah.
2441
01:25:18,410 --> 01:25:18,550
Of course.
2442
01:25:18,551 --> 01:25:19,110
Will you call Xander?
2443
01:25:19,130 --> 01:25:19,870
Tell him we're going to be late?
2444
01:25:19,930 --> 01:25:20,210
Absolutely.
2445
01:25:20,330 --> 01:25:21,406
How long should I tell him we're going to
be?
2446
01:25:21,430 --> 01:25:22,430
A couple hours.
2447
01:25:22,570 --> 01:25:22,850
Really?
2448
01:25:23,010 --> 01:25:23,250
Lucky.
2449
01:25:23,330 --> 01:25:24,330
Getting married or not.
2450
01:25:24,550 --> 01:25:25,866
Yeah, then we'll still go get married.
2451
01:25:25,890 --> 01:25:26,170
Absolutely.
2452
01:25:26,450 --> 01:25:26,530
Yeah.
2453
01:25:27,030 --> 01:25:27,630
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
2454
01:25:27,750 --> 01:25:28,430
I forgot something.
2455
01:25:28,610 --> 01:25:29,610
What?
2456
01:25:33,570 --> 01:25:34,570
Better.
2457
01:25:35,450 --> 01:25:36,450
Better, right?
2458
01:25:37,930 --> 01:25:39,550
So we just got 20 blocks.
2459
01:25:39,750 --> 01:25:40,866
Why didn't you take the bus?
2460
01:25:40,890 --> 01:25:41,550
Oh, that's a good point.
2461
01:25:41,790 --> 01:25:42,790
Should we get on the bus?
2462
01:25:43,370 --> 01:25:45,610
I wonder if we can find that roof where we
first did it.
2463
01:25:45,730 --> 01:25:46,910
Oh, you're such a romantic.
2464
01:25:47,290 --> 01:25:49,290
I just left my sweatshirt up there,
thank you.
2465
01:25:49,430 --> 01:25:50,210
I love you.
2466
01:25:50,390 --> 01:25:51,390
I love you too.
2467
01:26:21,620 --> 01:26:23,860
Um, they're gonna be here in like 90
minutes.
2468
01:26:24,260 --> 01:26:25,940
When have you ever had sex for 90 minutes?
2469
01:26:26,040 --> 01:26:26,300
With you?
2470
01:26:26,760 --> 01:26:27,420
With anybody.
2471
01:26:27,620 --> 01:26:28,740
Oh, many times.
2472
01:26:28,741 --> 01:26:30,000
Please, you have not had sex for 90
minutes.
2473
01:26:30,020 --> 01:26:33,000
I have had, like, actual intercourse for
90 minutes.
2474
01:26:33,001 --> 01:26:34,656
I bet they're counting, like, foreplay and
stuff.
2475
01:26:34,680 --> 01:26:34,800
No.
2476
01:26:35,100 --> 01:26:36,140
But maybe they are.
2477
01:26:37,700 --> 01:26:39,540
Frankly, I'd be shocked if they made it at
all.
2478
01:26:39,880 --> 01:26:41,460
I bet this sex thing is a ruse.
2479
01:26:41,780 --> 01:26:42,260
For what?
2480
01:26:42,460 --> 01:26:43,140
They're having trouble.
2481
01:26:43,440 --> 01:26:44,820
Cold feet, second thoughts.
2482
01:26:45,580 --> 01:26:46,280
Second thoughts?
2483
01:26:46,281 --> 01:26:48,060
They literally just got back together.
2484
01:26:48,260 --> 01:26:48,540
I know.
2485
01:26:48,600 --> 01:26:50,520
But now they have to have this whole sex
thing.
2486
01:26:51,180 --> 01:26:51,760
I don't know.
2487
01:26:52,040 --> 01:26:56,480
First of all, we had sex at the last
minute right before we got married.
2488
01:26:56,660 --> 01:26:57,720
I don't think that's true.
2489
01:26:58,280 --> 01:26:58,680
Really?
2490
01:26:58,860 --> 01:27:01,440
You don't remember someone sneaking into
my room right before?
2491
01:27:01,740 --> 01:27:01,920
Ooh.
2492
01:27:02,620 --> 01:27:03,800
Ooh, I'm murdering you.
2493
01:27:04,200 --> 01:27:06,960
Text us if you're gonna do this,
and we'll be there.
2494
01:27:07,020 --> 01:27:08,560
I've got the rings, the whole deal.
2495
01:27:08,740 --> 01:27:11,780
So just, uh... We're gonna
go have sex for nine minutes.
2496
01:27:11,920 --> 01:27:13,080
We're gonna have sex... Yes.
2497
01:27:13,180 --> 01:27:14,676
We're gonna have sex for nine minutes.
2498
01:27:14,700 --> 01:27:16,260
Now I... Now I'm super happy.
2499
01:27:16,280 --> 01:27:17,620
Super happy with four to six.
2500
01:27:17,940 --> 01:27:18,940
Four to six minutes?
2501
01:27:18,960 --> 01:27:19,220
Yeah.
2502
01:27:19,221 --> 01:27:20,221
Or four to six inches?
2503
01:27:20,720 --> 01:27:21,120
Both.
2504
01:27:21,540 --> 01:27:23,300
I can get to like six and a quarter.
2505
01:27:23,740 --> 01:27:25,160
I'll show you right now.
2506
01:27:25,440 --> 01:27:25,600
Move it.
2507
01:27:25,601 --> 01:27:25,780
All right.
2508
01:27:25,781 --> 01:27:26,781
It is so cold.
2509
01:27:26,940 --> 01:27:28,260
I can't get hard right now.
2510
01:27:28,360 --> 01:27:28,400
Too short.
2511
01:27:28,600 --> 01:27:29,680
I can't get hard right now.
2512
01:27:29,900 --> 01:27:30,500
All right.
2513
01:27:30,501 --> 01:27:31,200
Ooh, I wanna though.
2514
01:27:31,420 --> 01:27:31,680
Here.
2515
01:27:32,000 --> 01:27:33,680
If they're gonna be 90
minutes... You wanna tell?
2516
01:27:33,820 --> 01:27:34,140
Yeah.
2517
01:27:34,220 --> 01:27:35,480
Ooh, that's doing... Shit.
2518
01:27:35,520 --> 01:27:36,520
That's doing something.
2519
01:27:38,000 --> 01:27:39,680
Ooh, there's a kid looking at me.
2520
01:27:39,760 --> 01:27:41,340
The kid's locked eyes with me.
2521
01:27:41,860 --> 01:27:42,260
Hey.
2522
01:27:42,680 --> 01:27:43,680
We made it work.
2523
01:27:44,020 --> 01:27:45,020
Twelve years.
2524
01:27:45,180 --> 01:27:46,080
Who would've thought?
2525
01:27:46,200 --> 01:27:46,400
I won't say twelve years.
2526
01:27:46,600 --> 01:27:46,900
Twelve years.
2527
01:27:46,901 --> 01:27:47,220
Who would've thought?
2528
01:27:47,260 --> 01:27:47,700
I bet...
2529
01:27:47,800 --> 01:27:49,580
I bet my brother seven and I'd be out.
2530
01:27:49,950 --> 01:27:51,660
I had to give him $5,000.
2531
01:27:52,080 --> 01:27:52,200
What?
2532
01:27:52,340 --> 01:27:52,560
Yeah.
2533
01:27:52,640 --> 01:27:53,260
Five years ago.
2534
01:27:53,340 --> 01:27:54,380
I gave him $5,000.
2535
01:27:54,600 --> 01:27:54,940
Remember?
2536
01:27:55,120 --> 01:27:55,680
You were so mad?
2537
01:27:55,940 --> 01:27:56,340
Yeah.
2538
01:27:56,580 --> 01:27:56,840
Yeah.
2539
01:27:57,020 --> 01:27:59,620
I paid him that because I lasted longer.
2540
01:27:59,860 --> 01:28:01,580
You said you got in a car accident.
2541
01:28:02,740 --> 01:28:04,660
It's weird to look at you for this long.
2542
01:28:04,920 --> 01:28:05,580
What do you mean?
2543
01:28:05,900 --> 01:28:06,920
I never look at you.
2544
01:28:08,040 --> 01:28:09,441
It's... Get a good gander.
2545
01:28:13,240 --> 01:28:13,920
What are you doing?
2546
01:28:14,060 --> 01:28:15,060
Don't dance.
2547
01:28:15,260 --> 01:28:16,060
Don't dance.
2548
01:28:16,061 --> 01:28:16,260
I'm not dancing.
2549
01:28:16,261 --> 01:28:17,261
I like to dance.
2550
01:28:17,820 --> 01:28:18,620
I just love to dance.
2551
01:28:18,621 --> 01:28:18,860
I don't like dancing.
2552
01:28:18,861 --> 01:28:18,920
I don't like it.
2553
01:28:19,120 --> 01:28:21,760
What are you... What are
you... Don't grind up on me.
2554
01:28:21,920 --> 01:28:22,320
What?
2555
01:28:22,321 --> 01:28:22,880
You weirdo.
2556
01:28:22,881 --> 01:28:23,580
There is not even music.
2557
01:28:23,720 --> 01:28:24,100
Really?
2558
01:28:24,480 --> 01:28:25,020
What is this?
2559
01:28:25,021 --> 01:28:26,180
There's music in my body.
2560
01:28:26,300 --> 01:28:27,376
Okay, now something's happening.
2561
01:28:27,400 --> 01:28:28,320
Let's get out of here.
2562
01:28:28,420 --> 01:28:29,500
Let's go back to the hotel.
2563
01:28:29,700 --> 01:28:31,260
I want to do stuff to your body.
2564
01:28:31,720 --> 01:28:32,720
Upstairs, downstairs.
2565
01:28:32,940 --> 01:28:33,400
All right?
2566
01:28:33,860 --> 01:28:34,260
Yeah.
2567
01:28:34,580 --> 01:28:35,580
All right.
2568
01:28:37,580 --> 01:28:38,580
I love you honey.
2569
01:28:38,620 --> 01:28:39,620
I love you.
2570
01:28:40,420 --> 01:28:41,420
Let's go.
2571
01:28:46,360 --> 01:28:48,900
Lately I feel like a fool.
2572
01:29:15,580 --> 01:29:21,240
A little pause...
I'm lost in my head.
2573
01:29:21,420 --> 01:29:24,660
It's way too real out there.
2574
01:29:24,800 --> 01:29:27,240
I'm lost in a daydream.
2575
01:29:27,280 --> 01:29:28,700
I don't care.
2576
01:29:28,820 --> 01:29:30,500
I'm oblivious.
2577
01:29:31,320 --> 01:29:32,320
Yeah.
2578
01:29:37,180 --> 01:29:40,100
Spaced out in a daze.
2579
01:29:40,101 --> 01:29:42,340
I couldn't hear you.
2580
01:29:43,200 --> 01:29:48,440
The music drowned you out.
164588
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