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There are only two things in this world
of any worth, Mr. Douglas.
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Sex.
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And violins.
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I was ten, Mr. Douglas, when I realized
that sexually I was different from my
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friends. But what to do about it?
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I knew that I could never change, and
yet... Such abomination.
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By the age of twelve, I'd learned the
first folio of Shakespeare's work.
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By 14, I play almost half -string
quartets. And then, at 16 years of age,
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the private letters of James Joyce to
his lifelong lover, Nora Barnacle.
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The smallest things, he wrote, give me a
cock -dand.
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A little brown stain on the seat of your
white drawer.
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I lost no time.
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I immediately resolved to research the
sex lives of my greatest heroes.
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Friedrich's sister made a habit of
playing with his genitals as if they
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special toys.
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00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:50,480
Lord Byron's final nail was to commit
incestuous sin with his married half
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-sister. My favourite writer, André
Gide, confessed attraction to some
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00:02:56,200 --> 00:03:00,320
or deformed young boys, whilst
Tchaikovsky's torture to homosexuality
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lame compared to Dostoevsky's
paedophilia and violent, sometimes
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coital act.
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00:03:06,410 --> 00:03:10,790
His desire for corporal punishment was
held by many, such as Colonel P .E.
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Lawrence, who enjoyed a spank with Birch
on buttocks, to the point of seminal
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omission.
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I reveled in the sodomy of Samuel Peete,
and, of course, the glory of Donatian
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Alphonse Francois, desired.
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00:03:27,170 --> 00:03:31,910
Even Mozart expected desire to hit on
his young love's face. So, far from
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alienating me, you see, my...
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elevates me to the highest echelons of
life.
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I knew, I knew, from the age of ten,
that in order to
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come, I had to kill.
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And you, Mr. Douglas, with all your
nasty betrayal and deceit, you with
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00:03:57,850 --> 00:04:02,890
justice on your side, and you who have
no doubt laughed at my naivety,
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On my neck? Fuck.
34
00:05:19,790 --> 00:05:20,790
So here's the deal.
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You use whatever you want.
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Where you get them from, I don't care.
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Once it's done, you leave.
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And I don't ever want to see your
fucking face again for as long as I
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You fucking look at me!
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00:05:36,390 --> 00:05:37,630
Now you remember, Charlie.
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It's me that gave your life back.
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All you've got to do is take those away.
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And we're even.
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You know, all things considered, your
options are few. I mean, the next time
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they catch up to you, and they will
fucking catch up to you, mate, you won't
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even see the light of day.
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It's plain and simple.
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You follow her.
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When she kills Riley, you kill her.
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Charlie.
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Charlie. Fuck off.
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Right.
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I'm just saying it's a shame to whack a
sexy life, that's all.
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Whack? Hey, listen to him, John.
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Whack's what you do to your fucking
girlfriend when she smells as someone
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aftershave. No, no.
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I never whacked Linda.
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I told her.
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She was putting her socks on.
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00:06:48,420 --> 00:06:50,860
I said, Ted, in Burma.
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In Burma, Pet, the women used to have to
walk ten feet behind the men until
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1945.
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00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,380
Then, do you know what happened then?
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00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:05,940
No. Well, then, the men made the women
walk away in front.
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00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:08,820
Do you know why? No.
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00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:12,740
It's because of landmines. That's right.
Landmines.
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00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:16,520
That's because of landmines left behind
in Burma after the war.
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Now, wait.
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00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:19,840
Say what you like, Robin.
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I wouldn't have made you do that bit.
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00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:27,880
I mean, she could have, like, walked,
you know, like, alongside us, like...
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00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:32,120
Parallel. I, like, got a parallel,
but... Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't have
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walk in front.
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Would have, though.
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All right.
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All right.
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That's her.
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She's gorgeous.
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For fuck's sake, man, we're doing a job.
Will you stop thinking with your cock?
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00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:48,500
Didn't he used to say that to me?
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00:07:49,420 --> 00:07:51,200
Less cock, more brains, right, George?
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Otherwise you'll get us fucking killed.
83
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,160
Oh, do you know about Burma?
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Well, I just read about it in Russell.
85
00:08:21,130 --> 00:08:22,810
What are you two reading to Pawnee
Magwell, isn't it?
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00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:51,790
Thank you.
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00:10:33,670 --> 00:10:34,670
Did you make the pickup?
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00:10:35,850 --> 00:10:40,690
Yeah, it's like clockwork. This is such
an easy job, Charlie. I have to be the
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00:10:40,690 --> 00:10:41,750
one that whacks her, all right?
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00:10:42,130 --> 00:10:44,170
What the fuck's with all this whacking
shit?
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00:10:44,490 --> 00:10:47,810
I'm just saying that I'm fucking ripped
today and I want to do it, all right? I
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00:10:47,810 --> 00:10:48,810
want to fucking kill her.
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00:10:48,990 --> 00:10:49,990
I want to fucking fuck her.
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00:10:50,110 --> 00:10:51,410
Just shut the fuck up!
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00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:54,750
You just do the job like the nice man
says.
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00:10:55,230 --> 00:10:56,230
Period.
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00:11:15,940 --> 00:11:17,240
Yes, madam, how can I help you?
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00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:20,480
Thank you.
99
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,040
Frank,
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00:12:04,980 --> 00:12:07,960
will you assist the lady with her bags,
please? Room 412.
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00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:09,440
All right. Italian.
102
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:10,720
All right.
103
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:11,900
Buongiorno. Buongiorno.
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00:12:12,140 --> 00:12:13,140
Pardon?
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00:12:13,460 --> 00:12:15,940
She said it's okay, Frank. Okay. Oh,
yes.
106
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,040
Buongiorno.
107
00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:19,480
See you later.
108
00:13:48,860 --> 00:13:49,940
Buongiorno, signora.
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00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:51,300
Hello.
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00:13:51,860 --> 00:13:53,440
You'll be needing this tape machine.
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00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:55,180
You'll be needing this.
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00:13:55,740 --> 00:13:56,900
The tape recorder.
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00:13:57,540 --> 00:13:58,540
Sorry.
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00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,240
Il biratore.
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00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,880
I don't know.
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00:14:03,420 --> 00:14:06,920
Do you want a hand with your... No, no,
because... Bagaglio.
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00:14:28,270 --> 00:14:29,270
Fall too.
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00:14:29,570 --> 00:14:30,570
All right, George.
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00:14:30,690 --> 00:14:31,730
Get back down here.
120
00:14:39,150 --> 00:14:41,030
Right. That's that running.
121
00:14:41,250 --> 00:14:42,870
So I'll just leave that there, right?
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00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:44,670
You've got the bathroom.
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00:14:45,230 --> 00:14:50,130
The stanza de bagno through there. And
the wardrobe.
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00:14:51,530 --> 00:14:52,530
Liz's jacket.
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00:14:52,870 --> 00:14:53,870
Aye.
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00:14:55,550 --> 00:14:56,750
That's the rug.
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00:14:57,930 --> 00:15:02,010
Anyway, and... Thanks.
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00:15:03,730 --> 00:15:07,650
And welcome to English Today.
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00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:12,610
I'm Anna Fortuna, and I'll be your guide
through the next ten conversations.
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00:15:12,990 --> 00:15:18,170
You can use your guidebook to follow the
text if you want, or just sit back and
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00:15:18,170 --> 00:15:22,890
enjoy the tape on its own. Enjoy it on
the plane, in the comfort of your hotel
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00:15:22,890 --> 00:15:23,990
room or office.
133
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:29,460
The two people who will be giving the
English translations are Derek and Joan.
134
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:34,180
We hope that these lessons will make
your holiday in England that much more
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00:15:34,180 --> 00:15:36,100
enjoyable. Hello, yes.
136
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:37,640
Anthony, take it.
137
00:15:39,060 --> 00:15:40,460
Yes, I've got it right here.
138
00:15:40,980 --> 00:15:43,660
I suggest we go ahead and still make the
exchange today.
139
00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:45,240
I'll be there myself.
140
00:15:46,620 --> 00:15:47,620
Right.
141
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,280
Ciao.
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00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:53,260
I'd like him dead.
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00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:54,720
Do you hear?
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00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:59,500
I know that man knows all about the
late, great Douglas and the boys in
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00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,500
want it sorted out.
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00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:03,400
I want him dead this afternoon.
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00:16:05,860 --> 00:16:07,720
Philip, old friend.
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00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:10,420
You're in charge.
149
00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:17,780
Hey, John.
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00:16:18,180 --> 00:16:20,360
Yeah? What's brown and sticky, mate?
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00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,160
What? What's brown and sticky?
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00:16:26,220 --> 00:16:30,980
Why? Don't fucking ask me why. You're
supposed to say, I don't know, what's
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00:16:30,980 --> 00:16:31,980
brown and sticky.
154
00:16:32,020 --> 00:16:33,020
I don't care.
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00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:38,240
That's hardly the fucking point, is it,
you wanker? Just say, what is brown and
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00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:39,240
sticky?
157
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:40,760
Go on, then.
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00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,360
I just did. I said it, then.
159
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:46,760
What is brown and sticky?
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00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:52,640
Your fucking knob of George's arse. Now,
why are you asking me?
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00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:58,600
It's a joke, mate. Well, I don't get it.
I haven't fucking told it yet. Yeah, we
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00:16:58,600 --> 00:16:59,980
get on with it. Now, fuck you.
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00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:39,560
What is brown and sticky?
164
00:18:32,430 --> 00:18:34,530
The label in these jeans is digging into
me.
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00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,970
I've had these jeans two years now.
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00:18:40,950 --> 00:18:45,410
I got up this morning and suddenly the
label started digging into us.
167
00:18:46,610 --> 00:18:49,930
I don't know if I would take the label
off then.
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00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:51,809
That's what it is.
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00:18:51,810 --> 00:18:57,110
I told her, I said, if I take the label
off, you're not going to know how to
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00:18:57,110 --> 00:18:58,110
wash them properly.
171
00:18:58,970 --> 00:19:01,410
I mean, she said she would, but you know
what she's like.
172
00:19:42,940 --> 00:19:43,980
Grazie, Frank.
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00:19:45,660 --> 00:19:46,660
Grazie.
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00:19:47,780 --> 00:19:48,780
There she is.
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00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,000
Yes, really.
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00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:56,220
Frank, you take her out in one go,
right? Pull it in the skull.
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00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:01,600
If you have to fight, you crack her
fucking neck in one go, right?
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00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:04,860
And you stay with her until she's dead.
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00:20:05,660 --> 00:20:08,660
Right. And when she's dead, you phone
me.
180
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:13,700
Safe, man. Peace.
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00:20:13,940 --> 00:20:16,400
You fucking... All right, all right,
Charlie!
182
00:21:43,110 --> 00:21:48,730
Dickhorn on here, Captain Cook in, and
Willy Wonka. Hey, my name's John.
183
00:22:19,500 --> 00:22:20,500
She's not the entrance.
184
00:22:35,940 --> 00:22:36,940
Right.
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00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,780
Let's go get this bitch.
186
00:22:46,360 --> 00:22:47,960
Hello, Wileys!
187
00:23:07,950 --> 00:23:08,950
Hello.
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00:23:33,230 --> 00:23:36,930
Sad, I feel, when the most exciting
thing to happen to you in a day is to
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00:23:36,930 --> 00:23:37,930
a service entrance.
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00:23:38,430 --> 00:23:42,450
On the off chance there'll be
excitement, when in your heart of hearts
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00:23:42,450 --> 00:23:43,630
it's a faulty entrance.
192
00:25:07,630 --> 00:25:08,630
Take a look at it.
193
00:25:09,150 --> 00:25:10,150
Beautiful.
194
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:54,800
Whoa.
195
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:15,320
Riley. Dov 'è?
196
00:29:17,300 --> 00:29:18,300
Dov 'è?
197
00:29:19,740 --> 00:29:20,740
Riley.
198
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:24,000
Dov 'è? I don't know what the bloody
hell you're talking about. Riley is
199
00:29:24,220 --> 00:29:25,079
He's away.
200
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:26,080
Voglio sapere.
201
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:28,440
Dov 'è? He's out of town.
202
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:30,200
He's gone.
203
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:31,720
Away.
204
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,860
He's on a train ride.
205
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:38,240
Choo -choo.
206
00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:39,700
Choo -choo.
207
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:42,440
He, uh...
208
00:29:42,700 --> 00:29:46,180
He won't be back. A che ora arriva il
treno?
209
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:50,040
A che ora arriva?
210
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:51,179
I'll arrive.
211
00:29:51,180 --> 00:29:53,040
5 .40. Muoviti.
212
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,300
Muoviti. Quale treno?
213
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:59,540
Quale treno? 5 .40.
214
00:30:23,050 --> 00:30:24,050
Grazie.
215
00:30:54,730 --> 00:30:55,730
I will too.
216
00:31:36,490 --> 00:31:37,490
And she is.
217
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:35,559
All right.
218
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:36,560
All right.
219
00:32:36,860 --> 00:32:37,860
All right, Charles.
220
00:32:37,980 --> 00:32:38,980
Calm down, mate.
221
00:32:41,340 --> 00:32:42,340
Yeah.
222
00:32:42,660 --> 00:32:44,280
I'll phone you when it's done. All
right, Mama.
223
00:32:56,540 --> 00:33:00,000
Now I... I'm gonna have sex with you.
224
00:33:01,020 --> 00:33:02,020
And then kill you.
225
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:04,160
Or I can kill you.
226
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:06,400
I mean, that sucks, but yeah.
227
00:34:23,020 --> 00:34:24,460
I know you don't believe me, do you?
228
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:25,920
You don't, do you?
229
00:34:26,060 --> 00:34:27,880
In any hour, well, we end up screwing.
230
00:34:28,179 --> 00:34:30,679
I'm lying, then, and I'm already
reaching for me Calvin Klein's.
231
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:33,659
I just want to wipe me knob on the
curtains and get out there lively.
232
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,139
And I'm telling you, she turns round and
says to me, right out of the blue,
233
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:41,280
my haircut's the dearest thing I own.
234
00:34:42,300 --> 00:34:43,300
Do you believe that?
235
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:44,920
No, sorry, but I'm confused.
236
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:46,478
You're confused.
237
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:47,480
I was confused.
238
00:34:49,540 --> 00:34:50,540
Yes, sir.
239
00:34:54,190 --> 00:34:56,770
Jesus Christ, what a fucking mess.
240
00:34:57,070 --> 00:34:58,790
This is a total bloodbath.
241
00:35:00,610 --> 00:35:01,850
First on the scene, Mark?
242
00:35:02,050 --> 00:35:04,310
Yes, sir. Saw the door. Thought it was a
bit unusual.
243
00:35:04,930 --> 00:35:06,490
Forensics? They're on their way, sir.
244
00:35:07,330 --> 00:35:08,330
Okay.
245
00:35:11,510 --> 00:35:13,570
Anyway, Jim, there lies me proper.
246
00:35:14,170 --> 00:35:17,650
I'm lying there stark as thinking Psycho
Tart from the 7 -Eleven.
247
00:35:18,270 --> 00:35:21,330
contemplated making a break for a locked
front door. I mean, how do I escape?
248
00:35:21,530 --> 00:35:24,550
To be honest with you, Bob, it's not
really your predicament that I'm
249
00:35:24,550 --> 00:35:25,550
about. What are you saying?
250
00:35:26,250 --> 00:35:29,670
You sleep with women every night. You
take your chances, if you like.
251
00:35:31,030 --> 00:35:32,210
I like very much.
252
00:35:32,970 --> 00:35:36,510
What I don't understand is how a haircut
can be the most expensive thing someone
253
00:35:36,510 --> 00:35:38,790
owns. Exactly, that's what I'm saying.
The girl is mad.
254
00:35:39,030 --> 00:35:42,250
No, apart from the man, it's quite
simply, in arithmetical terms, it's
255
00:35:42,250 --> 00:35:44,750
one expensive haircut or she doesn't own
a fucking thing.
256
00:35:45,110 --> 00:35:46,109
Or both.
257
00:35:46,110 --> 00:35:47,110
Or both.
258
00:35:47,260 --> 00:35:50,200
You just seem to have accepted that and
you're concentrating on the part played
259
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:53,560
by your leaking cock in the whole story.
Sorry. Pardon me, Jim, for not
260
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:57,340
analysing the event's real strengths and
intrigues. Tomorrow, we'll talk about
261
00:35:57,340 --> 00:35:59,180
your wife's 20 -pound hairdo.
262
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:04,780
Is that a dig at a man with a happy and
fulfilling home life? No, that's a dig
263
00:36:04,780 --> 00:36:05,780
at a pain -in -the -arse partner.
264
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:07,840
Next.
265
00:36:45,710 --> 00:36:46,710
Take this.
266
00:36:51,790 --> 00:36:52,790
It's your turn.
267
00:36:55,830 --> 00:36:58,150
Thorough is definitely a word that
springs to mind.
268
00:36:59,810 --> 00:37:06,130
Other words that spring to mind are
coffee, make some, cups of, someone,
269
00:37:06,330 --> 00:37:09,810
and we're going to be here all day
writing this one up.
270
00:37:11,470 --> 00:37:12,870
Great things, words, aren't they?
271
00:37:21,310 --> 00:37:24,210
Just cover Smitty's arse, right?
272
00:37:25,850 --> 00:37:28,310
He's blown it. It's up to you.
273
00:37:29,630 --> 00:37:30,630
Here.
274
00:37:31,610 --> 00:37:32,610
Fix her.
275
00:37:33,870 --> 00:37:35,610
You proud big man.
276
00:37:48,770 --> 00:37:49,850
Who the fuck is this one?
277
00:37:50,350 --> 00:37:51,350
It's Riley!
278
00:37:51,450 --> 00:37:52,450
Oh!
279
00:37:55,190 --> 00:37:56,290
Well, this is fucking brilliant.
280
00:37:57,290 --> 00:37:58,290
We've got what?
281
00:37:59,030 --> 00:38:00,030
Seven?
282
00:38:00,210 --> 00:38:01,390
Eight dead bodies in this place?
283
00:38:03,750 --> 00:38:04,870
That piece of shit got away.
284
00:38:05,110 --> 00:38:06,110
Oh, okay.
285
00:38:06,950 --> 00:38:13,010
What is it?
286
00:38:14,110 --> 00:38:15,210
What do you mean, what is it?
287
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:20,400
We both know that lunatic kills like
rabbit screw.
288
00:38:21,860 --> 00:38:25,760
And at the end of all this, we've still
got some lunatic on the loose and Riley.
289
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:35,260
You know, at least, at least if they
would have got him, we'd be right back
290
00:38:35,260 --> 00:38:36,260
where we started.
291
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:38,540
As it is, we're just done.
292
00:38:41,460 --> 00:38:43,480
We're just losing control. I've got to
go to the toilet.
293
00:38:45,420 --> 00:38:46,640
Just below the first floor.
294
00:38:52,970 --> 00:38:53,970
You got your phone?
295
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,220
Riley isn't fucking dead.
296
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:34,880
Don't kill her.
297
00:39:35,820 --> 00:39:36,820
Do you hear me?
298
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:38,660
I said Riley isn't fucking dead.
299
00:40:35,500 --> 00:40:36,660
My... Smithy!
300
00:40:37,100 --> 00:40:42,700
You shouldn't have bloody whacked up...
Shit.
301
00:40:47,220 --> 00:40:48,220
Okay.
302
00:40:48,580 --> 00:40:49,580
Yeah.
303
00:40:51,380 --> 00:40:52,380
Lipstick.
304
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,940
Lipstick on the corpse on the entry room
underneath the powder burns.
305
00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:57,680
You told anyone?
306
00:40:58,120 --> 00:40:59,900
Who? Other than a super.
307
00:41:00,790 --> 00:41:01,790
And say what?
308
00:41:02,390 --> 00:41:05,170
Excuse me, sir, you know the man we're
looking for, well, we think he's just
309
00:41:05,170 --> 00:41:06,570
turned out to be the female variety.
310
00:41:07,290 --> 00:41:08,610
Oh, great work, Jim.
311
00:41:08,830 --> 00:41:09,830
How do you know this?
312
00:41:09,890 --> 00:41:12,970
Oh, well, sir, I just got out my ladybug
book of forensics. You know the one you
313
00:41:12,970 --> 00:41:14,870
took to solve crimes? Yeah. And voila,
result.
314
00:41:16,930 --> 00:41:17,930
You finished?
315
00:41:19,170 --> 00:41:20,430
I think we're looking for a woman.
316
00:41:24,310 --> 00:41:25,310
Yeah.
317
00:41:27,230 --> 00:41:28,230
There's also this.
318
00:41:29,310 --> 00:41:30,310
5 .40.
319
00:41:34,090 --> 00:41:35,090
What do you mean?
320
00:41:36,750 --> 00:41:37,750
What?
321
00:41:37,990 --> 00:41:38,990
I never said anything.
322
00:41:39,450 --> 00:41:40,890
Yeah, you said yeah.
323
00:41:41,970 --> 00:41:44,110
I just said we're looking for a woman
and you said yeah.
324
00:41:45,010 --> 00:41:49,130
Not right, or okay right, or okay, but
yeah.
325
00:41:49,890 --> 00:41:51,010
Did I? Yes.
326
00:41:51,510 --> 00:41:53,430
I know this because I was there, Bob.
327
00:41:55,530 --> 00:41:58,170
I know you, and I know you know
something here.
328
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:06,840
I'll be two seconds.
329
00:42:07,060 --> 00:42:08,060
Just give me two seconds.
330
00:42:09,220 --> 00:42:10,820
Fitting for England today, Brian.
331
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:14,340
Get a smithy.
332
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:16,000
What?
333
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:17,940
On your phone. Now.
334
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:19,320
Smithy.
335
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,360
Have I met you before?
336
00:42:49,500 --> 00:42:50,860
What's going on up there?
337
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:54,020
Do you come here often?
338
00:42:57,820 --> 00:43:02,240
You are very beautiful today.
339
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:06,800
Smitty? Can I buy you a coffee?
340
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:08,440
What the fuck is going on?
341
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:12,660
You have a wonderful sense of humor.
342
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:14,720
What? What?
343
00:43:16,260 --> 00:43:18,940
You make me laugh.
344
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:21,440
Hello?
345
00:43:21,780 --> 00:43:23,020
Who the fuck is this?
346
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:24,560
Who the fuck is this?
347
00:43:25,240 --> 00:43:27,080
Charlie? Charlie?
348
00:43:27,380 --> 00:43:28,380
Hello, Charlie?
349
00:43:28,980 --> 00:43:33,040
Bryant? Who is it? Could you send up
some fresh flowers?
350
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:36,400
Oh, God.
351
00:44:29,060 --> 00:44:30,500
Fuck off.
352
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:37,000
You're right.
353
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:39,760
It's a woman.
354
00:44:45,100 --> 00:44:49,200
Our next contestant is Mr. Brian, who is
a computer programmer from Basingstoke.
355
00:44:49,300 --> 00:44:53,940
Mr. Brian, to have 60 seconds on your
specialist subject, what the fuck is
356
00:44:53,940 --> 00:44:56,200
on? Starting now.
357
00:45:00,060 --> 00:45:06,020
Could you send up some fresh flowers and
some fruit as well?
358
00:45:06,700 --> 00:45:07,700
A banana.
359
00:45:07,940 --> 00:45:10,220
An orange.
360
00:45:15,660 --> 00:45:16,660
Ciao, signorina.
361
00:45:16,860 --> 00:45:18,200
It's me, Frank.
362
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:20,340
Francesco. Yeah.
363
00:45:21,140 --> 00:45:22,140
Very good.
364
00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:24,080
Molto buono.
365
00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:28,680
One of the guests has been complaining
about a bit of noise.
366
00:45:29,220 --> 00:45:30,820
You know, crash.
367
00:45:31,420 --> 00:45:32,420
Bang.
368
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:37,480
Anyway, I told him we've been having
some problems with the plumbing on this
369
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:39,680
level. So I've been checking each of the
rooms.
370
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:43,040
And, well, now it's your turn. I'll just
take a quick...
371
00:45:43,720 --> 00:45:46,300
Oh, no, no, disturbare. Aye, that's
right.
372
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:49,480
Disturbia. No. Just for a moment,
though. No, no, no.
373
00:45:52,900 --> 00:45:59,400
How about some grapes?
374
00:46:00,420 --> 00:46:01,740
Sir, correct me if I'm wrong.
375
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:09,080
You thought that if you hired an Italian
hitwoman to wipe out Riley, the entire
376
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:12,240
city would be free from crime and
suffering?
377
00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:13,960
You didn't know Douglas?
378
00:46:14,540 --> 00:46:15,840
Am I right so far?
379
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:18,320
Yeah.
380
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:22,760
But obviously simplifying it like that
just makes it sound ridiculous.
381
00:46:25,340 --> 00:46:26,380
Shit, Bob.
382
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,420
Yeah, it's really fucking easy just to
laugh about all this.
383
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:33,040
Poor old Bobby Bryant.
384
00:46:34,060 --> 00:46:35,440
He's off his rocker this time.
385
00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:37,440
There we go.
386
00:46:37,900 --> 00:46:39,640
It's easy to see what the problem is.
387
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:44,040
I have a problem.
388
00:46:45,300 --> 00:46:47,680
Sorry, pet. I didn't quite catch all
that.
389
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:51,120
I have lost my way.
390
00:46:55,740 --> 00:46:56,740
There we go.
391
00:46:56,820 --> 00:46:57,820
All done.
392
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:24,520
Let me tell you something, Jim.
393
00:47:25,660 --> 00:47:26,740
And you listen to me.
394
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:30,100
Because I don't know whether I'm right
or wrong anymore.
395
00:47:33,300 --> 00:47:36,620
But it comes a time when... When you've
just had enough.
396
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:38,400
And you've got to strike out.
397
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:42,500
And it doesn't matter whether you wear a
badge or your whole good moral
398
00:47:42,500 --> 00:47:43,500
principles.
399
00:47:44,460 --> 00:47:45,460
You've just got to hit back.
400
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:51,420
See what that fuck did to Douglas.
401
00:47:55,820 --> 00:47:56,820
How was that time for me?
402
00:47:58,300 --> 00:48:00,700
Where in God's name did you find her?
Yellow pages?
403
00:48:02,460 --> 00:48:04,180
You can get anything if you want it bad
enough.
404
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:07,280
Contracted by a middleman.
405
00:48:07,900 --> 00:48:09,240
She never even knew my name.
406
00:48:10,580 --> 00:48:11,920
The thing is, she's expensive.
407
00:48:15,240 --> 00:48:16,240
Really expensive.
408
00:48:18,660 --> 00:48:20,480
You can't afford to pay the bill.
409
00:48:30,820 --> 00:48:32,400
Why don't we just leave her?
410
00:48:49,300 --> 00:48:51,660
I don't know where my money...
411
00:49:01,290 --> 00:49:04,130
My money is in the case.
412
00:49:07,770 --> 00:49:08,770
Forensics are here, sir.
413
00:49:08,930 --> 00:49:10,410
They're starting from the bottom up.
414
00:49:11,170 --> 00:49:12,170
Right, Mark.
415
00:49:12,470 --> 00:49:13,650
We'll be here if they need us.
416
00:49:19,590 --> 00:49:21,230
Yes, my friend.
417
00:49:22,770 --> 00:49:24,470
It's best kept between...
418
00:50:16,759 --> 00:50:18,200
Anthony. Always good to see you.
419
00:50:19,020 --> 00:50:21,440
I see that your men are looking as smart
as ever.
420
00:50:21,940 --> 00:50:23,160
That's an estimable trait.
421
00:50:23,940 --> 00:50:24,940
Have you got the stuff?
422
00:50:26,220 --> 00:50:27,820
I believe that is the general idea.
423
00:50:35,820 --> 00:50:40,600
You know, I think it was in ancient
Babylon that the poets would recline
424
00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:44,280
the banks of the river and compose their
verse in solitude by themselves.
425
00:50:45,940 --> 00:50:51,360
Sometimes for hours they'd sit and write
till they felt their opus was complete.
426
00:50:52,720 --> 00:50:56,100
and then fold the paper upon which
they'd worked into a watertight
427
00:50:56,440 --> 00:51:00,860
which they'd fill with wine, and place
upon the river's flow.
428
00:51:02,020 --> 00:51:07,860
Naturally, the artist, one downstream,
would receive the parcel, drink the
429
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:13,320
and share in the beauty of his
benefactor's work from the surface of
430
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:14,320
nectar's carton.
431
00:51:14,780 --> 00:51:20,200
Hence, the glory of the work was passed
from man to man.
432
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:23,700
Well, you know, Very nice, Jacob.
433
00:51:24,820 --> 00:51:26,660
What the fuck are you on about?
434
00:51:28,900 --> 00:51:30,440
Nothing of any relevance.
435
00:51:31,860 --> 00:51:34,380
No, that would be impressive.
436
00:51:37,620 --> 00:51:39,600
What the bloody hell is this?
437
00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:41,320
What on earth did you expect?
438
00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:24,120
Come on, Bob.
439
00:52:24,940 --> 00:52:29,060
I think I prefer the arrogant,
misogynistic Bob to the depressed and
440
00:52:29,960 --> 00:52:30,960
What do you want me to do?
441
00:52:31,680 --> 00:52:34,720
Well, make some semblance of an effort
to look as though you're working.
442
00:52:35,700 --> 00:52:36,700
What, like you are?
443
00:52:37,540 --> 00:52:42,840
I, my friend, am impersonating a quick
-witted, active detective, thinking on
444
00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:45,460
his feet, one step ahead of the
villains.
445
00:52:46,020 --> 00:52:51,020
While you, it would appear, are doing a
fine impression of a man drawing a
446
00:52:51,020 --> 00:52:52,020
spider's web.
447
00:52:54,090 --> 00:52:55,090
It's an onion.
448
00:53:00,870 --> 00:53:03,690
I seem to have lost all my money.
449
00:53:10,130 --> 00:53:14,930
I don't know where my money is.
450
00:53:24,720 --> 00:53:27,160
My money is in the case.
451
00:53:29,900 --> 00:53:34,240
I could always
452
00:53:34,240 --> 00:53:38,720
give you a traveler's check.
453
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:45,200
I have dropped my ice cream.
454
00:53:47,940 --> 00:53:48,980
You're set.
455
00:53:49,580 --> 00:53:50,580
Right.
456
00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:58,420
Just go in there and check the place
out.
457
00:53:58,700 --> 00:54:01,260
If you find out what happened to the
others, fair enough.
458
00:54:01,700 --> 00:54:04,580
But do not make a fucking move without
me.
459
00:54:04,820 --> 00:54:06,160
You just wait in the bar, okay?
460
00:54:06,660 --> 00:54:07,660
Aye, man, whatever.
461
00:54:08,720 --> 00:54:12,980
That's that smitty token. And unless I'm
mistaken, George, he's already dead.
462
00:54:16,040 --> 00:54:18,080
Just get going and I'll get rid of the
barn.
463
00:54:31,180 --> 00:54:33,280
I would really like a drink.
464
00:54:35,540 --> 00:54:36,780
Let's go to the bar.
465
00:54:39,940 --> 00:54:43,440
I just think it's very ironic that you
should hire a woman to do a job like
466
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:44,440
this.
467
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:49,460
Jim, you're just like every other
married man with kids I know.
468
00:54:50,060 --> 00:54:53,140
You're well aware of the fact that I can
go out and pick up any woman which I
469
00:54:53,140 --> 00:54:54,140
choose to.
470
00:54:54,980 --> 00:54:58,900
So instead of me and your jealousy, you
all pretend to be contented with your
471
00:54:58,900 --> 00:55:02,240
lot. And get your kicks from your
secretary's Christmas kiss.
472
00:55:03,060 --> 00:55:07,060
And just wish, just wish that you had
the gut to go and buy a porn over it.
473
00:55:07,740 --> 00:55:10,720
Or visit, or visit some red light
district just once.
474
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:14,660
Neither of which us bachelors in fact
need to do.
475
00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:19,660
Yet it is us who you see fit to label
misogynistic.
476
00:55:21,240 --> 00:55:23,240
Finished. It's true though, isn't it?
477
00:55:23,460 --> 00:55:24,460
Nope.
478
00:55:48,759 --> 00:55:53,120
Whiskey ice, please. Gracias.
479
00:56:31,509 --> 00:56:38,010
I have lost my
480
00:56:38,010 --> 00:56:42,930
way. Please,
481
00:56:42,930 --> 00:56:45,530
show me.
482
00:57:07,500 --> 00:57:11,880
Deep out of my head, it's Trump, Trump,
Rupert.
483
00:57:37,200 --> 00:57:39,840
Do you really think I get turned on by
my secretary's Christmas kiss?
484
00:57:40,180 --> 00:57:41,680
You don't have a secretary, do you?
485
00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:44,780
Oh, stop him, someone. You know what I
mean.
486
00:57:45,740 --> 00:57:46,860
I don't know, I suppose.
487
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:51,220
Any kiss is supposed to have somewhat of
a such -like effect, isn't it?
488
00:57:54,240 --> 00:58:01,100
There was a Roman writer, Cato, who
tells us that kissing was
489
00:58:01,100 --> 00:58:04,720
invented in Rome by suspicious husbands
who were detecting whether their wives
490
00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:05,720
had been drinking wine.
491
00:58:07,280 --> 00:58:08,500
Just goes to show, doesn't it?
492
00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:10,800
About time to change.
493
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:14,440
Have you been at the bottle pit?
494
00:58:15,160 --> 00:58:16,160
Come here.
495
00:58:19,580 --> 00:58:20,580
That's nothing.
496
00:58:21,780 --> 00:58:28,600
After the Second World War, in Burma,
you may not believe this, but the
497
00:58:28,600 --> 00:58:31,640
women used to have to walk ten feet
behind the men until 1945.
498
00:58:32,930 --> 00:58:37,390
When the men made the women walk away in
front because of the landmines left
499
00:58:37,390 --> 00:58:38,950
behind in Burma after the war.
500
00:58:39,510 --> 00:58:40,550
Now what do you think of that?
501
00:59:13,900 --> 00:59:17,200
We'll be right back.
502
01:00:44,490 --> 01:00:45,490
Jesus!
503
01:01:24,140 --> 01:01:30,140
I told you once in time that I'd see you
in the morning glow. So baby, baby,
504
01:01:30,140 --> 01:01:34,560
baby, how could you see what I see right
there?
505
01:01:36,160 --> 01:01:38,960
When you're around, you can show me.
506
01:02:01,640 --> 01:02:04,360
Thank you.
507
01:02:47,180 --> 01:02:48,180
thank you
508
01:03:26,190 --> 01:03:27,190
May I?
509
01:09:13,979 --> 01:09:16,120
Make some friends.
510
01:09:16,479 --> 01:09:17,479
No.
511
01:09:19,920 --> 01:09:22,060
I have a problem.
512
01:09:25,040 --> 01:09:29,120
Where do you come from?
513
01:09:30,300 --> 01:09:31,300
Where?
514
01:09:32,520 --> 01:09:34,560
Where do you come from?
515
01:09:35,680 --> 01:09:40,920
You wouldn't fucking believe me if I
told you.
516
01:09:43,620 --> 01:09:44,620
Fuck's sake, man.
517
01:09:45,160 --> 01:09:46,260
I'm trying to die.
518
01:09:49,660 --> 01:09:51,880
Who do you think made you, fucking God?
519
01:09:53,300 --> 01:09:56,280
Ascolta. Is this the last one?
520
01:09:58,780 --> 01:09:59,780
Last one?
521
01:09:59,900 --> 01:10:00,900
Si.
522
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:02,980
Si. Last.
523
01:10:04,060 --> 01:10:05,060
One.
524
01:10:10,700 --> 01:10:11,900
Why should I tell you?
525
01:10:18,060 --> 01:10:19,060
Dímelo.
526
01:10:19,540 --> 01:10:23,020
Are you the last one?
527
01:10:30,060 --> 01:10:32,340
Jesus Christ!
528
01:10:32,680 --> 01:10:34,160
It was fucking Brian!
529
01:10:34,920 --> 01:10:37,120
It was a big old Brian!
530
01:10:45,580 --> 01:10:49,380
Yes. Fucking buzzer.
531
01:10:49,680 --> 01:10:51,420
He's a pig.
532
01:10:52,840 --> 01:10:56,960
He's a fucking cop. Cop.
533
01:11:00,080 --> 01:11:04,200
Brian is cop.
534
01:11:06,800 --> 01:11:09,220
Brian Poliziot.
535
01:11:20,549 --> 01:11:22,910
It must be an easy job.
536
01:11:26,470 --> 01:11:28,030
Kill you and walk away.
537
01:11:32,030 --> 01:11:33,030
Dead.
538
01:11:34,250 --> 01:11:35,630
I am dead.
539
01:11:39,010 --> 01:11:40,370
Brian thinks I'm dead.
540
01:11:41,990 --> 01:11:43,350
You think I'm dead.
541
01:11:44,680 --> 01:11:46,520
Black. Really?
542
01:11:47,380 --> 01:11:48,420
Really?
543
01:11:49,300 --> 01:11:51,120
This is me.
544
01:12:48,630 --> 01:12:52,510
Grazie. Whichever way you look at it,
Bob, you were wrong.
545
01:12:57,630 --> 01:12:58,710
It's time to put it right.
546
01:13:02,810 --> 01:13:03,810
What do you say?
547
01:16:06,040 --> 01:16:07,700
Well, well, well.
548
01:16:09,080 --> 01:16:11,880
Mr. Madison and Mr. Bryant.
549
01:16:12,880 --> 01:16:16,420
I thought that two fun tricksters like
yourselves would be behind a prank like
550
01:16:16,420 --> 01:16:20,960
this. Tell me, are you hiding whoopee
cushions behind your backs?
551
01:16:21,900 --> 01:16:25,740
We've come to share some information of
mutual benefit, Jacob.
552
01:16:26,680 --> 01:16:28,940
I'm sure you'll cooperate and keep the
peace.
553
01:16:31,240 --> 01:16:33,680
To praise and not to bury her.
554
01:16:35,720 --> 01:16:36,980
What if I choose war?
555
01:16:37,360 --> 01:16:39,300
Oh, it's already been declared, Riley.
556
01:16:39,980 --> 01:16:42,920
But not by me, and sure as shit, not by
you.
557
01:16:44,060 --> 01:16:46,980
We here, we're the only ones left
standing.
558
01:18:42,730 --> 01:18:44,610
I'll move right into your glass of wine.
559
01:18:45,830 --> 01:18:46,910
Well, I like her already.
560
01:18:47,650 --> 01:18:50,270
And yet I see she's not doing that, my
dear.
561
01:18:51,570 --> 01:18:53,790
Why? How the fuck do I know?
562
01:18:54,350 --> 01:18:56,350
I've got to get this man to a hospital.
Yes, I'm sure.
563
01:18:56,790 --> 01:18:58,510
That doesn't explain why I'm still
alive.
564
01:18:59,130 --> 01:19:00,410
Puta la pistola.
565
01:19:01,570 --> 01:19:03,110
Now we're getting warmer.
566
01:19:04,290 --> 01:19:05,810
Yes, an Italian assassin.
567
01:19:06,510 --> 01:19:08,090
How cosmopolitan.
568
01:19:09,830 --> 01:19:11,350
Then put your nose around it, Donna.
569
01:19:11,770 --> 01:19:12,728
No, I don't.
570
01:19:12,730 --> 01:19:13,770
You speak Italian?
571
01:19:16,370 --> 01:19:20,170
Do you speak any English?
572
01:19:21,050 --> 01:19:22,050
No.
573
01:19:22,530 --> 01:19:25,110
Look, Riley, just give her the case.
574
01:19:25,630 --> 01:19:27,230
All she wants is money. Just give her
the case.
575
01:19:28,130 --> 01:19:30,770
Please, I've got to get this man to a
hospital. Just give her the fucking
576
01:19:31,350 --> 01:19:33,110
Now, look, you'll get your life and
she'll get some money.
577
01:19:34,560 --> 01:19:38,140
Shall we get him my money? I don't like
the sound of that. I seem to lose a
578
01:19:38,140 --> 01:19:41,760
great deal more than you. No, fuck that,
Riley! Just give her the fucking case!
579
01:19:43,920 --> 01:19:46,400
You take it or leave it.
580
01:20:04,330 --> 01:20:05,630
I'll take it, old boy.
581
01:20:06,010 --> 01:20:08,590
You translate everything I say word for
word.
582
01:20:10,550 --> 01:20:12,170
Now you tell her my name is Bryant.
583
01:20:16,110 --> 01:20:17,110
Isikiyama Bryant.
584
01:20:21,690 --> 01:20:22,690
Bryant.
585
01:20:23,250 --> 01:20:24,490
What did you say, little Riley?
586
01:20:24,710 --> 01:20:26,990
I just told her your name, old chap.
Crossed my heart and hoped to die.
587
01:20:28,670 --> 01:20:29,730
Bryant, this cop.
588
01:20:30,150 --> 01:20:33,050
Yes, I'm afraid he is, my dear, and not
a very good one at that.
589
01:20:33,450 --> 01:20:34,318
How about...
590
01:20:34,320 --> 01:20:37,680
Not quite as bad as his bungling friend,
Mr. Douglas.
591
01:20:38,640 --> 01:20:40,080
By the way, how is Mr.
592
01:20:40,320 --> 01:20:41,320
Douglas?
593
01:20:41,660 --> 01:20:42,720
You just tell her.
594
01:20:43,280 --> 01:20:44,680
You tell her that it was me.
595
01:20:45,260 --> 01:20:47,940
It was fucking me that contracted her to
kill you.
596
01:20:49,020 --> 01:20:50,660
And now the penny drops.
597
01:20:51,340 --> 01:20:52,500
And I must say, Mr.
598
01:20:52,780 --> 01:20:54,360
Bryant, that I'm very disappointed.
599
01:20:54,920 --> 01:20:58,100
You of all people should know the
revenge of the dish best served cold.
600
01:20:58,340 --> 01:20:59,520
Just fucking tell her, Riley.
601
01:21:02,300 --> 01:21:03,560
Better, if you're enough.
602
01:21:10,820 --> 01:21:14,700
You just tell her that her hair's off
and you've got the money to power that
603
01:21:14,700 --> 01:21:15,700
case.
604
01:21:19,920 --> 01:21:20,300
What
605
01:21:20,300 --> 01:21:30,500
the
606
01:21:30,500 --> 01:21:31,500
fuck did you say, Lord?
607
01:21:31,680 --> 01:21:33,380
The truth of the hotel is nothing but
the truth.
608
01:21:34,060 --> 01:21:36,400
Bryant. Seems she likes you already.
609
01:21:38,000 --> 01:21:40,260
Please. The money's in the case.
610
01:21:40,800 --> 01:21:42,460
The money's in that case!
611
01:21:42,740 --> 01:21:44,460
Don't waste your breath, Bryant.
612
01:21:45,380 --> 01:21:46,740
Time's up.
613
01:21:48,720 --> 01:21:55,580
The money is in the case.
614
01:22:04,469 --> 01:22:05,469
OK.
615
01:22:08,970 --> 01:22:09,970
Grazie.
616
01:22:19,570 --> 01:22:22,890
This concludes our English lesson for
today.
617
01:22:23,650 --> 01:22:29,130
I hope that these lessons have been
useful to you and hope that your holiday
618
01:22:29,130 --> 01:22:31,210
the UK was an enjoyable one.
619
01:22:32,040 --> 01:22:34,520
We look forward to seeing you back again
soon.
620
01:22:35,220 --> 01:22:38,280
I'm Anna Fortuna for English Today.
621
01:25:26,160 --> 01:25:27,560
you
622
01:27:30,350 --> 01:27:31,350
I don't care.
42533
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