Original subtitles

You know what happened in Australia, right?

Uh, not quite where.

You know what?

All that East Coast was like all burnt out by bushfires.

It decimated billions of wildlife in Australia.

Billions!

Billions?

Yeah, so they reckon that whole species are wiped out.

Do you think you could donate some money?

Because we've got all these little, like, all these little

wildlife places that look after the injured wildlife.

And they need supplies, medical supplies and stuff, the animals.

Jesus, you're just talking about it, you're crying about it, aren't you?

I know, I know, because it is so cold at the moment too.

So it's a bit windy.

I mean, wow, I got... Billions of species.

I mean, heaves.

I already contributed to the World Wildlife Fund.

No, but this one's like, we have some of the

rarest, rarest animals in the whole world.

Like... Will the beasts?

No.

Can you imagine if all the koalas were wiped out?

Can you imagine all the kangaroos wiped out?

Well, yeah, I mean, if the kangaroos got all wiped out, that'd be kind of sad.

Yeah, they'd be the worst, the worst.

So that's why I'm collecting.

I'm collecting money for the wildlife.

Could you help me out?

Well, God, I... You know... Please?

It's pretty windy.

It is a bit windy.

that was a good idea to come out of the wind.

Oh

Why don't you want to come out of the wind?

Well, because then, you know, for my sound, right, I'm...

Actually, are you recording?

Oh, of course.

Yeah,

Well, you know, because it's my big hobby, right?

Like, I'm always, I'm, you know, I'm kind of aspiring to be the next,

you know, mini Steven Spielberg in my own mind.

Really?

So I'm always out there recording things and... Huh?

Yeah, practicing.

What do you record?

Oh, everything.

I mean, you know, nature, wildlife, will the beasts... You love nature, see?

Motivates.

They have some meat?

Oh, you've got everything here.

No qualis though.

You see?

That's all you need to donate.

Well... You totally need to donate.

I mean, I guess it just, if you could convince me in some other way.

I mean, you know, you know, now with this coronavirus everywhere, you know...

It is pretty, that is pretty bad.

It's kind of scary and people are spending less money.

So, you know, I'm trying to tighten my pockets here.

Okay, well, ours.

So you kind of want a bit of bang for your buck?

Oh, 100%.

I mean, that's what you...

I get it.

We're always asking for your buck, right?

Yeah,

I get it.

You want to know you're donating to a good cause.

Oh,

All right.

Well, I don't know.

What do you think?

Like, what kind of bonus add-on features can you give me, you know, if I donate?

Like, what's the kickback?

I don't know.

Yeah, I just... What did you have in mind?

Well, you know, I was thinking... Oh, I've got it.

You know, I've been trying to send in some footage to this modeling agency,

because I would like to start working for them.

Oh, okay.

I was thinking, what if, you know, you helped me out put together a nice reel

You can change.

You reckon I could help you?

Oh,

Oh, you can help me a hundred percent.

Huh.

But I'm too short.

Oh, no.

But height doesn't matter.

Okay.

See, these models, it's all about shape and buxom.

Because it's going to go for screen supermodeling, right?

Oh, okay.

Well, I've got a pretty cool tan line.

Really?

Because we surf a lot in Australia, but you can't say it now.

That's true.

Well, I mean, do you have any tan lines on your boobs?

No.

No tan lines on my boobs.

I've got piercings though.

I mean, you know what?

It would be helpful if you'd show me those.

Really?

Yeah,

Just because I need to know, you know, especially when I send this in,

I need to know that you've got the right shade, right?

It's true.

They're kind of particular about what kind of looks for the swimsuit.

Well, all right.

So if I help you, you're going to help me.

But you're going to donate to me.

Oh, I'm going to donate.

I'm going to donate.

So you would make sure I've got the right figure.

And you're asking about my nipple rings.

So do I show you my nipple rings first?

Or do you donate a bit of money first?

Tell you what.

How can I trust you?

Well, you can trust me because I am a genuine, nice person.

And I'm going to be saving koalas.

So you do deposit a little bit.

Wow.

See?

See, you're so helpful already.

See?

Well... I'm not exactly what I was... There we go.

That's a lot of money, babe.

Wow.

I believe in koalas.

Yeah, see?

It's billions of species.

Well, tell you what.

You know, since... Whoa.

Since... See, you're late.

Well, you know, I'm saving up.

What if I give you, you know, another 200 euros, right?

And, you know, because I need to make sure, you know, for this video that I'm

going to shoot, that the bikinis are going to fit right, you know?

True.

So, you know, if you can just show me your bikini figure.

You just want to see the timelines.

I get it.

I get it.

No.

Hang on.

I don't want to get in trouble.

Oh, no, you won't get in trouble at all.

See?

Tell me.

Well, you know, I need to see where the lines start.

Wow.

You really do have some nice cameras if you work here.

I'm from the land down on, dog.

Wow.

Hang it.

Oh, it's so cool.

Yeah, it is a little chill, right?

Well, you know...

So, with this video and these little donations, so, I'm not sure if you got there.

Yeah, I got... I got, you know...

That's a lot.

Why?

What do you have in mind?

Well...

If... I suck a dick.

We hand over all of that for the donation.

I think we might have a deal.

We have an accord.

Yes, we do.

It's an accord, definitely.

Let's get out of this cold, it's freezing.

Well, I'll tell you what, because, you know, I

got to make sure that you are legit, you know?

True.

True.

So, you just go over here.

Alright.

Just so I know you're serious about saving lives.

I've always searched about saving my life.

It is for good cause.

Alright.

Well, this is a bit more secluded, sir.

Yeah, let's just go down here a little bit.

Alright.

You just tell me when.

Well, I think...

How about when?

Alright.

I see what you did there.

Alright, well... Let's save some clothes, shall we?

It is so cold.

Well... I'd say your hands would warm it up.

They're a bit cold.

Oh yeah, just keep doing that.

That's it, nice and slow.

You really believe in saving the... Gotta absolutely save the wildlife.

Completely.

There we go.

Very challenging, I told you that.

So, I paused the test for the swimsuit thing?

I just got a cold wind out.

You certainly believe in swallow for koala, don't you?

Hey, that's a really cool catchphrase.

Maybe I should call the charity that.

I like that.

Yeah, let's see how much you can swallow.

You know what?

What?

It's a pity that we couldn't do more to save the koalas.

Like, you gave me all the money you had, so...

Well, what did you have in mind to help save the koalas?

Well, how about...

I've already swallowed for koala, so...

How about we go all the way down under?

How about you give me dick down under?

Well, tell you what.

I didn't give you all the money.

Really?

You hold out.

Yeah, gotta hold out for something.

Would that maybe be a dick down under?

I think we could dick down under for that.

Yeah?

All right, well, it's too cold here.

Yeah, well, you know what?

I got a spot.

Really?

All right.

How about...

Let's bail.

Let's get out of this.

All right.

Let's go.

Fucking freezing weather.

I know, right?

Let's party down under.

Party down under.

All right.

Is it okay here for you?

I know it's, you know, a little empty basement.

Yeah, it's a bit.

Don't worry.

I've been here before.

It's okay.

You've been here before?

What?

Who's always been here?

Never mind.

Never mind.

Okay.

All right.

It's warmer than before.

Oh, Jesus.

It's warmed up a bit.

I'm going to take my jacket off.

It's driving me crazy.

Let's take your pants off too.

I suppose it would make sense, right?

Are you going to give me that dick down on top?

Crikey, we found a trouser snake.

We did.

Let's see what those tan lines really look like.

Are you going to see my tan lines?

Are you

going to give me that dick down now?

Are you going to give me that dick down now?

Dick down on it for wildlife.

Yes,

My legs are dying.

I'm dying from all those squats before.

Let me ride your rivers.

Let me just let that fucking dig.

yes,

Yes, come live in my face.

I want to slowly fuck while I ride.

Now we see all the koalas.

How do you feel about that?

You did.

You did.

It was all for a good cause, right?

See you next time we're going to have to save the gangers.

Absolutely.

All right.

All right.

Get your stuff on and get back to getting

some money for all these people on the street.

All right, done.

Done.