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[music]

[music]

[music] [cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering] >> Welcome. Welcome. Welcome

>> Welcome. Welcome. Welcome

>> Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to Last Week Tonight.

to Last Week Tonight.

to Last Week Tonight. I'm John Oliver. Thank you so much for

I'm John Oliver. Thank you so much for

I'm John Oliver. Thank you so much for joining us. IT HAS BEEN a busy week. US

joining us. IT HAS BEEN a busy week. US

joining us. IT HAS BEEN a busy week. US intelligence showed Iran retains

intelligence showed Iran retains

intelligence showed Iran retains substantial missile capabilities. There

substantial missile capabilities. There

substantial missile capabilities. There was the magnificent headline,

was the magnificent headline,

was the magnificent headline, "Looksmaxing influencer clavicula

"Looksmaxing influencer clavicula

"Looksmaxing influencer clavicula reaches deal in alligator shooting

reaches deal in alligator shooting

reaches deal in alligator shooting case."

case."

case." And in the UK, amid turmoil over the

And in the UK, amid turmoil over the

And in the UK, amid turmoil over the future of the Prime Minister, King

future of the Prime Minister, King

future of the Prime Minister, King Charles delivered a ceremonial speech

Charles delivered a ceremonial speech

Charles delivered a ceremonial speech outlining the government's goals for the

outlining the government's goals for the

outlining the government's goals for the coming year, including this. My

coming year, including this. My

coming year, including this. My ministers will will also proceed with

ministers will will also proceed with

ministers will will also proceed with the introduction of digital ID

the introduction of digital ID

the introduction of digital ID that will modernize how citizens

that will modernize how citizens

that will modernize how citizens interact with public services.

interact with public services.

interact with public services. Incredible. For a message about

Incredible. For a message about

Incredible. For a message about modernizing, that is the least modern

modernizing, that is the least modern

modernizing, that is the least modern messenger possible. He's like four kinds

messenger possible. He's like four kinds

messenger possible. He's like four kinds of cape behind 100 years ago.

of cape behind 100 years ago.

of cape behind 100 years ago. And while there are plenty of things

And while there are plenty of things

And while there are plenty of things that Charles has the standing to talk

that Charles has the standing to talk

that Charles has the standing to talk about, like polo, uh resenting his

about, like polo, uh resenting his

about, like polo, uh resenting his mother while also desperately wanting

mother while also desperately wanting

mother while also desperately wanting her approval, having dreams of becoming

her approval, having dreams of becoming

her approval, having dreams of becoming a tampon, just Google it, digital ID is

a tampon, just Google it, digital ID is

a tampon, just Google it, digital ID is not one of them. That man has never been

not one of them. That man has never been

not one of them. That man has never been asked for ID in HIS LIFE. HIS FACE IS ON

asked for ID in HIS LIFE. HIS FACE IS ON

asked for ID in HIS LIFE. HIS FACE IS ON THE MONEY.

THE MONEY.

THE MONEY. MEANWHILE, TRUMP HEADED to China for a

MEANWHILE, TRUMP HEADED to China for a

MEANWHILE, TRUMP HEADED to China for a summit with Xi Jinping, which was

summit with Xi Jinping, which was

summit with Xi Jinping, which was largely seen as a bust with no major

largely seen as a bust with no major

largely seen as a bust with no major announcements. Well, to be fair, almost

announcements. Well, to be fair, almost

announcements. Well, to be fair, almost none. Because shortly after Air Force

none. Because shortly after Air Force

none. Because shortly after Air Force One left Beijing, Trump posted this

One left Beijing, Trump posted this

One left Beijing, Trump posted this image of him and Xi walking, captioned

image of him and Xi walking, captioned

image of him and Xi walking, captioned in part, "China has a ballroom, and so

in part, "China has a ballroom, and so

in part, "China has a ballroom, and so should the USA."

should the USA."

should the USA." It is under construction, ahead of

It is under construction, ahead of

It is under construction, ahead of schedule, and will be the finest

schedule, and will be the finest

schedule, and will be the finest facility of its kind anywhere in the

facility of its kind anywhere in the

facility of its kind anywhere in the USA. Because incredibly, despite

USA. Because incredibly, despite

USA. Because incredibly, despite everything going on in the world right

everything going on in the world right

everything going on in the world right now, Trump's still relentlessly focused

now, Trump's still relentlessly focused

now, Trump's still relentlessly focused on what's been called a sweeping

on what's been called a sweeping

on what's been called a sweeping makeover of the White House and

makeover of the White House and

makeover of the White House and Washington, D.C. In the past year, he's

Washington, D.C. In the past year, he's

Washington, D.C. In the past year, he's installed two massive flagpoles, a

installed two massive flagpoles, a

installed two massive flagpoles, a presidential walk of fame outside the

presidential walk of fame outside the

presidential walk of fame outside the White House, paved over the Rose Garden,

White House, paved over the Rose Garden,

White House, paved over the Rose Garden, and redecorated the Oval Office as if to

and redecorated the Oval Office as if to

and redecorated the Oval Office as if to answer the question, what if an ancient

answer the question, what if an ancient

answer the question, what if an ancient Egyptian pharaoh owned an Airbnb?

Egyptian pharaoh owned an Airbnb?

Egyptian pharaoh owned an Airbnb? And on Monday, he insisted all these

And on Monday, he insisted all these

And on Monday, he insisted all these changes were absolutely necessary. This

changes were absolutely necessary. This

changes were absolutely necessary. This place was not properly taken care of.

place was not properly taken care of.

place was not properly taken care of. I was told by my wife, you have to act

I was told by my wife, you have to act

I was told by my wife, you have to act presidential, so don't use foul

presidential, so don't use foul

presidential, so don't use foul language. I won't. Therefore, normally I

language. I won't. Therefore, normally I

language. I won't. Therefore, normally I would have said it was a but

would have said it was a but

would have said it was a but >> [laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> [laughter] >> I don't want to say that. Okay, to be

>> I don't want to say that. Okay, to be

>> I don't want to say that. Okay, to be clear, Trump's foul language isn't

clear, Trump's foul language isn't

clear, Trump's foul language isn't what's been stopping him from being

what's been stopping him from being

what's been stopping him from being presidential.

presidential.

presidential. Simply not cursing wouldn't make Trump a

Simply not cursing wouldn't make Trump a

Simply not cursing wouldn't make Trump a fitting president in the same way that a

fitting president in the same way that a

fitting president in the same way that a white coat wouldn't make Gritty a

white coat wouldn't make Gritty a

white coat wouldn't make Gritty a practicing oncologist. I guess it would

practicing oncologist. I guess it would

practicing oncologist. I guess it would technically help if he had one, but his

technically help if he had one, but his

technically help if he had one, but his lack of qualification goes much deeper

lack of qualification goes much deeper

lack of qualification goes much deeper than that. But clearly, Trump's most

than that. But clearly, Trump's most

than that. But clearly, Trump's most ambitious project is his proposed

ambitious project is his proposed

ambitious project is his proposed ballroom, which has spiraled out of

ballroom, which has spiraled out of

ballroom, which has spiraled out of control. When it was announced, it was

control. When it was announced, it was

control. When it was announced, it was claimed the ballroom would be paid for

claimed the ballroom would be paid for

claimed the ballroom would be paid for by President Trump and other patriot

by President Trump and other patriot

by President Trump and other patriot donors, and that it would cost

donors, and that it would cost

donors, and that it would cost approximately $200 million. Since then,

approximately $200 million. Since then,

approximately $200 million. Since then, the projected cost has gone up to $300

the projected cost has gone up to $300

the projected cost has gone up to $300 million, then $400 million, and last

million, then $400 million, and last

million, then $400 million, and last week he argued the only reason the cost

week he argued the only reason the cost

week he argued the only reason the cost has changed is because after deep-rooted

has changed is because after deep-rooted

has changed is because after deep-rooted studies, the ballroom's approximately

studies, the ballroom's approximately

studies, the ballroom's approximately twice the size.

twice the size.

twice the size. And when a reporter dared to ask him

And when a reporter dared to ask him

And when a reporter dared to ask him about that on Tuesday, he kind of lost

about that on Tuesday, he kind of lost

about that on Tuesday, he kind of lost his We have a ballroom that's

his We have a ballroom that's

his We have a ballroom that's under budget. It's going up right here.

under budget. It's going up right here.

under budget. It's going up right here. I've doubled the size of it because we

I've doubled the size of it because we

I've doubled the size of it because we obviously need that. And we're right now

obviously need that. And we're right now

obviously need that. And we're right now on budget, under budget, and ahead of

on budget, under budget, and ahead of

on budget, under budget, and ahead of schedule.

schedule.

schedule. >> has doubled.

>> has doubled.

>> has doubled. I doubled the size of it, you dumb

I doubled the size of it, you dumb

I doubled the size of it, you dumb person.

person.

person. I doubled the size. about Cuba? You are

I doubled the size. about Cuba? You are

I doubled the size. about Cuba? You are You not a smart person. Okay. Okay. I

You not a smart person. Okay. Okay. I

You not a smart person. Okay. Okay. I know it is not unusual for him to demean

know it is not unusual for him to demean

know it is not unusual for him to demean a female journalist, but even by his

a female journalist, but even by his

a female journalist, but even by his standards, that was bad.

standards, that was bad.

standards, that was bad. The only time it's okay to yell, "You

The only time it's okay to yell, "You

The only time it's okay to yell, "You dumb person!" at anyone is, as I think

dumb person!" at anyone is, as I think

dumb person!" at anyone is, as I think we all know, if you're watching Jeopardy

we all know, if you're watching Jeopardy

we all know, if you're watching Jeopardy and you know the answer, but the

and you know the answer, but the

and you know the answer, but the contestants don't. WHO IS EMILY

contestants don't. WHO IS EMILY

contestants don't. WHO IS EMILY DICKINSON, YOU IDIOT?

DICKINSON, YOU IDIOT?

DICKINSON, YOU IDIOT? >> [cheering]

>> [cheering]

>> [cheering] >> 19TH-CENTURY LARGELY UNPUBLISHED FEMALE

>> 19TH-CENTURY LARGELY UNPUBLISHED FEMALE

>> 19TH-CENTURY LARGELY UNPUBLISHED FEMALE POET FROM MASSACHUSETTS? WHO IS EMILY

POET FROM MASSACHUSETTS? WHO IS EMILY

POET FROM MASSACHUSETTS? WHO IS EMILY DICKINSON? YOU'RE NOT A SMART PERSON!

DICKINSON? YOU'RE NOT A SMART PERSON!

DICKINSON? YOU'RE NOT A SMART PERSON! AND LOOK, IT'D BE BAD enough for Trump

AND LOOK, IT'D BE BAD enough for Trump

AND LOOK, IT'D BE BAD enough for Trump to fund this fantasy project with

to fund this fantasy project with

to fund this fantasy project with private money, especially while

private money, especially while

private money, especially while withholding the identities of several

withholding the identities of several

withholding the identities of several donors, including some with business

donors, including some with business

donors, including some with business before the administration, but on top of

before the administration, but on top of

before the administration, but on top of that, it now seems the public might

that, it now seems the public might

that, it now seems the public might actually get stuck with a lot of the

actually get stuck with a lot of the

actually get stuck with a lot of the bill because Senate Republicans are now

bill because Senate Republicans are now

bill because Senate Republicans are now requesting an additional roughly $400

requesting an additional roughly $400

requesting an additional roughly $400 million in security funding for the

million in security funding for the

million in security funding for the ballroom, and that is just the beginning

ballroom, and that is just the beginning

ballroom, and that is just the beginning here. Trump also wants to use millions

here. Trump also wants to use millions

here. Trump also wants to use millions to repaint the Eisenhower Executive

to repaint the Eisenhower Executive

to repaint the Eisenhower Executive Office Building white, arguing gray is

Office Building white, arguing gray is

Office Building white, arguing gray is for funerals, which, by the way, it

for funerals, which, by the way, it

for funerals, which, by the way, it famously isn't.

famously isn't.

famously isn't. As we all know, black is for funerals,

As we all know, black is for funerals,

As we all know, black is for funerals, gray is for depressive episodes, and red

gray is for depressive episodes, and red

gray is for depressive episodes, and red is for stealing the attention at your

is for stealing the attention at your

is for stealing the attention at your ex's wedding.

ex's wedding.

ex's wedding. He's also trying to build this 250-foot

He's also trying to build this 250-foot

He's also trying to build this 250-foot monstrosity in the middle of DC and has

monstrosity in the middle of DC and has

monstrosity in the middle of DC and has lately been fixated on revamping the

lately been fixated on revamping the

lately been fixated on revamping the reflecting pool at the Lincoln Memorial,

reflecting pool at the Lincoln Memorial,

reflecting pool at the Lincoln Memorial, a project that he described like this.

a project that he described like this.

a project that he described like this. Here is a picture of it. You probably

Here is a picture of it. You probably

Here is a picture of it. You probably recognize it. Right now, it's got no

recognize it. Right now, it's got no

recognize it. Right now, it's got no water in it because it was in terrible

water in it because it was in terrible

water in it because it was in terrible shape. It was filthy dirty,

shape. It was filthy dirty,

shape. It was filthy dirty, and [music] it leaked like a sieve for

and [music] it leaked like a sieve for

and [music] it leaked like a sieve for many years. I said, "What we're going to

many years. I said, "What we're going to

many years. I said, "What we're going to do is I'm going to call

do is I'm going to call

do is I'm going to call all three of these people that have

all three of these people that have

all three of these people that have worked for me in the past [music] doing

worked for me in the past [music] doing

worked for me in the past [music] doing swimming pools. That's all they can do

swimming pools. That's all they can do

swimming pools. That's all they can do is a swimming pool."

is a swimming pool."

is a swimming pool." >> [laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> [laughter] >> And I said, "Give me a good price.

>> And I said, "Give me a good price.

>> And I said, "Give me a good price. We can do it for

We can do it for

We can do it for maybe a million and a half to $2

maybe a million and a half to $2

maybe a million and a half to $2 million. And now we have a nice clean

million. And now we have a nice clean

million. And now we have a nice clean surface

surface

surface on which we're putting

on which we're putting

on which we're putting a industrial grade swimming pool

a industrial grade swimming pool

a industrial grade swimming pool topping.

topping.

topping. >> [laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> [laughter] >> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Okay. I'm not sure what the stupidest part of

I'm not sure what the stupidest part of

I'm not sure what the stupidest part of that is. He starts by saying, "You

that is. He starts by saying, "You

that is. He starts by saying, "You probably recognize it." about one of the

probably recognize it." about one of the

probably recognize it." about one of the most famous places in the country. Then

most famous places in the country. Then

most famous places in the country. Then we get this unexpectedly correct

we get this unexpectedly correct

we get this unexpectedly correct pronunciation of the word sieve,

pronunciation of the word sieve,

pronunciation of the word sieve, followed by, "I'm going to call three

followed by, "I'm going to call three

followed by, "I'm going to call three guys who I know worked on my swimming

guys who I know worked on my swimming

guys who I know worked on my swimming pools." [laughter]

pools." [laughter]

pools." [laughter] Which, come on, that is not how to fix a

Which, come on, that is not how to fix a

Which, come on, that is not how to fix a national memorial. It sounds more like

national memorial. It sounds more like

national memorial. It sounds more like the start of an incredible post-divorce

the start of an incredible post-divorce

the start of an incredible post-divorce girls weekend for Deborah.

girls weekend for Deborah.

girls weekend for Deborah. Trump seems to be obsessed with the

Trump seems to be obsessed with the

Trump seems to be obsessed with the reflecting pool, posting about it over

reflecting pool, posting about it over

reflecting pool, posting about it over two dozen times, while I will remind you

two dozen times, while I will remind you

two dozen times, while I will remind you this country is at war.

this country is at war.

this country is at war. Sometimes in the form of AI slop like

Sometimes in the form of AI slop like

Sometimes in the form of AI slop like this, depicting Trump, J.D. Vance, and

this, depicting Trump, J.D. Vance, and

this, depicting Trump, J.D. Vance, and some cabinet members floating in it.

some cabinet members floating in it.

some cabinet members floating in it. That is an image in which Trump seems to

That is an image in which Trump seems to

That is an image in which Trump seems to photoshopped his head onto the body of a

photoshopped his head onto the body of a

photoshopped his head onto the body of a man 50 years younger. And yet, J.D.

man 50 years younger. And yet, J.D.

man 50 years younger. And yet, J.D. Vance being invited to a pool party is

Vance being invited to a pool party is

Vance being invited to a pool party is still the least realistic part about it.

still the least realistic part about it.

still the least realistic part about it. And look,

And look,

And look, I'm not saying the reflecting pool

I'm not saying the reflecting pool

I'm not saying the reflecting pool didn't need repairs. It's been an issue

didn't need repairs. It's been an issue

didn't need repairs. It's been an issue for years now, but Trump's plan

for years now, but Trump's plan

for years now, but Trump's plan apparently doesn't address one of the

apparently doesn't address one of the

apparently doesn't address one of the pool's main problems, its faulty

pool's main problems, its faulty

pool's main problems, its faulty plumbing. Also, the $2 million cost that

plumbing. Also, the $2 million cost that

plumbing. Also, the $2 million cost that he's estimated for the project has

he's estimated for the project has

he's estimated for the project has already ballooned to over 13 million,

already ballooned to over 13 million,

already ballooned to over 13 million, and that's not even getting into the

and that's not even getting into the

and that's not even getting into the fact that the company doing the work

fact that the company doing the work

fact that the company doing the work apparently received a no-bid contract.

apparently received a no-bid contract.

apparently received a no-bid contract. And notably, after that story came out,

And notably, after that story came out,

And notably, after that story came out, Trump posted, "I didn't give out the

Trump posted, "I didn't give out the

Trump posted, "I didn't give out the contract. Interior did, to a contractor

contract. Interior did, to a contractor

contract. Interior did, to a contractor I did not know and have never used

I did not know and have never used

I did not know and have never used before." Which is not what YOU JUST SAW

before." Which is not what YOU JUST SAW

before." Which is not what YOU JUST SAW HIM SAY IN HIS OWN STUPID VIDEO.

HIM SAY IN HIS OWN STUPID VIDEO.

HIM SAY IN HIS OWN STUPID VIDEO. As for "Interior did it," when Doug

As for "Interior did it," when Doug

As for "Interior did it," when Doug Burkum, Interior Secretary, was grilled

Burkum, Interior Secretary, was grilled

Burkum, Interior Secretary, was grilled on that contract during a congressional

on that contract during a congressional

on that contract during a congressional hearing, he seemed pretty caught off

hearing, he seemed pretty caught off

hearing, he seemed pretty caught off guard.

guard.

guard. Are you familiar with Atlantic

Are you familiar with Atlantic

Are you familiar with Atlantic Industrial Coatings?

Industrial Coatings?

Industrial Coatings? I

I

I I'm not

I'm not

I'm not familiar with that. I

familiar with that. I

familiar with that. I >> So, Atlantic Industrial Coatings is a

>> So, Atlantic Industrial Coatings is a

>> So, Atlantic Industrial Coatings is a company. Are you familiar with that

company. Are you familiar with that

company. Are you familiar with that company?

company?

company? >> You're saying Atlantic? Atlantic

>> You're saying Atlantic? Atlantic

>> You're saying Atlantic? Atlantic Industrial Coatings

Industrial Coatings

Industrial Coatings is the company that received a no-bid

is the company that received a no-bid

is the company that received a no-bid federal contract for the project at the

federal contract for the project at the

federal contract for the project at the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool. A

Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool. A

Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool. A no-bid contract is reserved for

no-bid contract is reserved for

no-bid contract is reserved for situations where, quote, any delay would

situations where, quote, any delay would

situations where, quote, any delay would cause serious injury to the government.

cause serious injury to the government.

cause serious injury to the government. W- What is your your proposition is

W- What is your your proposition is

W- What is your your proposition is what? That

what? That

what? That there'd be serious injury to the

there'd be serious injury to the

there'd be serious injury to the government if this company didn't get

government if this company didn't get

government if this company didn't get the $13 million contract to do this

the $13 million contract to do this

the $13 million contract to do this particular project right now? Is that

particular project right now? Is that

particular project right now? Is that that Well, I think we do have a sense of

that Well, I think we do have a sense of

that Well, I think we do have a sense of urgency. I mean, we got handed a record

urgency. I mean, we got handed a record

urgency. I mean, we got handed a record amount of deferred maintenance. We had

amount of deferred maintenance. We had

amount of deferred maintenance. We had 19 fountains across the city that didn't

19 fountains across the city that didn't

19 fountains across the city that didn't work. 82 homeless sites found

work. 82 homeless sites found

work. 82 homeless sites found >> government?

>> government?

>> government? The serious injury to the government?

The serious injury to the government?

The serious injury to the government? >> Well, I'm not I'm not I'm not a

>> Well, I'm not I'm not I'm not a

>> Well, I'm not I'm not I'm not a Well, I suppose a lawyer could decide

Well, I suppose a lawyer could decide

Well, I suppose a lawyer could decide that, but I think that maybe all of us

that, but I think that maybe all of us

that, but I think that maybe all of us could agree that we would want to have

could agree that we would want to have

could agree that we would want to have our nation's capital looking great for

our nation's capital looking great for

our nation's capital looking great for the 250th. I mean, this is a common

the 250th. I mean, this is a common

the 250th. I mean, this is a common sense decision. Yeah, that's not a great

sense decision. Yeah, that's not a great

sense decision. Yeah, that's not a great answer, Doug.

answer, Doug.

answer, Doug. If you ask your neighbor, "Have you been

If you ask your neighbor, "Have you been

If you ask your neighbor, "Have you been the birdhouse in my yard?" and

the birdhouse in my yard?" and

the birdhouse in my yard?" and he says, "That's a question I suppose a

he says, "That's a question I suppose a

he says, "That's a question I suppose a lawyer could decide."

lawyer could decide."

lawyer could decide." Then you know you need to get a new

Then you know you need to get a new

Then you know you need to get a new birdhouse.

birdhouse.

birdhouse. And look, is this the most important

And look, is this the most important

And look, is this the most important thing this president could be doing

thing this president could be doing

thing this president could be doing right now? Of course it isn't. That

right now? Of course it isn't. That

right now? Of course it isn't. That would be a tie between learning where

would be a tie between learning where

would be a tie between learning where Iran is on a map and finally listening

Iran is on a map and finally listening

Iran is on a map and finally listening to the three ghosts who've been waking

to the three ghosts who've been waking

to the three ghosts who've been waking him up every Christmas Eve for the last

him up every Christmas Eve for the last

him up every Christmas Eve for the last 70 years. But it should really go

70 years. But it should really go

70 years. But it should really go without saying, if you are a president

without saying, if you are a president

without saying, if you are a president who'd rather focus on ballroom

who'd rather focus on ballroom

who'd rather focus on ballroom construction and pool maintenance than

construction and pool maintenance than

construction and pool maintenance than the crucial work of actually running a

the crucial work of actually running a

the crucial work of actually running a country, then I think it is fair to say,

country, then I think it is fair to say,

country, then I think it is fair to say, to borrow a phrase that I heard

to borrow a phrase that I heard

to borrow a phrase that I heard recently, you are not a smart

recently, you are not a smart

recently, you are not a smart person.

person.

person. And now this.

And now this.

And now this. >> [cheering]

>> [cheering]

>> [cheering] >> And now

>> And now

>> And now Stephen Miller's darkest secrets are

Stephen Miller's darkest secrets are

Stephen Miller's darkest secrets are revealed on his wife's podcast. Who

revealed on his wife's podcast. Who

revealed on his wife's podcast. Who would you trust to babysit your kids?

would you trust to babysit your kids?

would you trust to babysit your kids? Who would I trust to babysit my kids?

Who would I trust to babysit my kids?

Who would I trust to babysit my kids? >> This can only be another member of the

>> This can only be another member of the

>> This can only be another member of the cabinet.

cabinet.

cabinet. Not

Not

Not your husband.

your husband.

your husband. So, right before Donald Trump had won,

So, right before Donald Trump had won,

So, right before Donald Trump had won, [music] and we had friends in our

[music] and we had friends in our

[music] and we had friends in our backyard, and Steven delivered a toast

backyard, and Steven delivered a toast

backyard, and Steven delivered a toast and said, "This time next year, we'll be

and said, "This time next year, we'll be

and said, "This time next year, we'll be drinking the tears of our enemies."

drinking the tears of our enemies."

drinking the tears of our enemies." >> Oh. I'll give you my list of things I

>> Oh. I'll give you my list of things I

>> Oh. I'll give you my list of things I disagree with Steven on [music] just to

disagree with Steven on [music] just to

disagree with Steven on [music] just to help you out for a second.

help you out for a second.

help you out for a second. >> Okay, great. He insists that my children

>> Okay, great. He insists that my children

>> Okay, great. He insists that my children always wear socks with their shoes,

always wear socks with their shoes,

always wear socks with their shoes, [music]

[music]

[music] even if the shoes are already on and

even if the shoes are already on and

even if the shoes are already on and they're ready to get in the car, go out

they're ready to get in the car, go out

they're ready to get in the car, go out the door, he makes them come back inside

the door, he makes them come back inside

the door, he makes them come back inside and put socks on. I didn't want a big

and put socks on. I didn't want a big

and put socks on. I didn't want a big wedding. I wanted the courthouse.

wedding. I wanted the courthouse.

wedding. I wanted the courthouse. [music] My husband wanted the big

[music] My husband wanted the big

[music] My husband wanted the big wedding.

wedding.

wedding. >> Okay, I love that. He's the bridezilla.

>> Okay, I love that. He's the bridezilla.

>> Okay, I love that. He's the bridezilla. He's the bridezilla.

He's the bridezilla.

He's the bridezilla. I had a buddy who used to eat french

I had a buddy who used to eat french

I had a buddy who used to eat french fries with mayonnaise. I thought that

fries with mayonnaise. I thought that

fries with mayonnaise. I thought that was disgusting. It's the only thing my

was disgusting. It's the only thing my

was disgusting. It's the only thing my husband eats. With french fries or like

husband eats. With french fries or like

husband eats. With french fries or like period? [music] Period. Okay.

period? [music] Period. Okay.

period? [music] Period. Okay. It's my own personal theory. Like, why

It's my own personal theory. Like, why

It's my own personal theory. Like, why have I been more nauseous this

have I been more nauseous this

have I been more nauseous this pregnancy? [music]

pregnancy? [music]

pregnancy? [music] Why have I had more eczema this

Why have I had more eczema this

Why have I had more eczema this pregnancy?

pregnancy?

pregnancy? >> It's because it's more of my husband's

>> It's because it's more of my husband's

>> It's because it's more of my husband's genetic makeup than mine in this baby.

genetic makeup than mine in this baby.

genetic makeup than mine in this baby. Without more. It's equal. Uh

Without more. It's equal. Uh

Without more. It's equal. Uh it's actually a little

it's actually a little

it's actually a little >> I'm telling you this baby's going to

>> I'm telling you this baby's going to

>> I'm telling you this baby's going to turn out looking like him.

Moving on. Before our main story

Moving on. Before our main story

Moving on. Before our main story tonight, I want to let you in on how we

tonight, I want to let you in on how we

tonight, I want to let you in on how we decide what to cover. Sometimes a story

decide what to cover. Sometimes a story

decide what to cover. Sometimes a story is of urgent interest, like ICE

is of urgent interest, like ICE

is of urgent interest, like ICE detention or the Supreme Court or sexual

detention or the Supreme Court or sexual

detention or the Supreme Court or sexual doorbells for Dutch fish.

doorbells for Dutch fish.

doorbells for Dutch fish. Other times it can be incredibly boring,

Other times it can be incredibly boring,

Other times it can be incredibly boring, like special districts or payday loans.

like special districts or payday loans.

like special districts or payday loans. And sometimes, like with Subway or Mount

And sometimes, like with Subway or Mount

And sometimes, like with Subway or Mount Everest, the way a story starts is by us

Everest, the way a story starts is by us

Everest, the way a story starts is by us noticing something ubiquitous and find

noticing something ubiquitous and find

noticing something ubiquitous and find ourselves going, "Hey, what the is

ourselves going, "Hey, what the is

ourselves going, "Hey, what the is the deal with that thing?"

the deal with that thing?"

the deal with that thing?" Well, this is going to be one of those

Well, this is going to be one of those

Well, this is going to be one of those stories. And the thing that prompted

stories. And the thing that prompted

stories. And the thing that prompted that question this time was seeing this.

I have a structured settlement and I

I have a structured settlement and I

I have a structured settlement and I need cash now. Call J.G. Wentworth

need cash now. Call J.G. Wentworth

need cash now. Call J.G. Wentworth 877-CASH-NOW.

877-CASH-NOW.

877-CASH-NOW. Yeah, the J.G. Wentworth ads.

Yeah, the J.G. Wentworth ads.

Yeah, the J.G. Wentworth ads. You cannot have missed them because they

You cannot have missed them because they

You cannot have missed them because they are everywhere. In fact, they are such a

are everywhere. In fact, they are such a

are everywhere. In fact, they are such a pop culture staple, it became a running

pop culture staple, it became a running

pop culture staple, it became a running joke on Curb Your Enthusiasm that Larry

joke on Curb Your Enthusiasm that Larry

joke on Curb Your Enthusiasm that Larry David couldn't get that song out of his

David couldn't get that song out of his

David couldn't get that song out of his head.

head.

head. I have a structured settlement and I

I have a structured settlement and I

I have a structured settlement and I need cash now.

need cash now.

need cash now. now. Call J.G. Wentworth, 877-Cash-Now.

now. Call J.G. Wentworth, 877-Cash-Now.

now. Call J.G. Wentworth, 877-Cash-Now. 877-CASH-NOW.

AND LOOK,

AND LOOK,

AND LOOK, THERE IS A REASON that song is stuck in

THERE IS A REASON that song is stuck in

THERE IS A REASON that song is stuck in everyone's head. Not only is it

everyone's head. Not only is it

everyone's head. Not only is it infuriatingly catchy, J.G. Wentworth

infuriatingly catchy, J.G. Wentworth

infuriatingly catchy, J.G. Wentworth absolutely blankets TV with their ads

absolutely blankets TV with their ads

absolutely blankets TV with their ads and in all sorts of styles.

and in all sorts of styles.

and in all sorts of styles. I have a structured [music] settlement

I have a structured [music] settlement

I have a structured [music] settlement and I need cash

and I need cash

and I need cash now.

now.

now. Call J.G. Wentworth,

Call J.G. Wentworth,

Call J.G. Wentworth, 877-Cash-Now. [music]

877-Cash-Now. [music]

877-Cash-Now. [music] I get long-term payments, but I need

I get long-term payments, but I need

I get long-term payments, but I need cash now.

cash now.

cash now. Call J.G. Wentworth, 877-Cash-Now.

Call J.G. Wentworth, 877-Cash-Now.

Call J.G. Wentworth, 877-Cash-Now. It's not a loan, so there's no debt, no

It's not a loan, so there's no debt, no

It's not a loan, so there's no debt, no credit card advance regrets. Call J.G.

credit card advance regrets. Call J.G.

credit card advance regrets. Call J.G. Wentworth, 877-Cash-Now.

Wentworth, 877-Cash-Now.

Wentworth, 877-Cash-Now. It's your money, use it when you need

It's your money, use it when you need

It's your money, use it when you need it. Call J.G. [music and singing]

it. Call J.G. [music and singing]

it. Call J.G. [music and singing] Wentworth,

Wentworth,

Wentworth, 877-Cash-Now.

Yeah, it turns out they've produced that

Yeah, it turns out they've produced that

Yeah, it turns out they've produced that song in almost every genre. At this

song in almost every genre. At this

song in almost every genre. At this point, they could release an album

point, they could release an album

point, they could release an album presumably called Now That's What I Call

presumably called Now That's What I Call

presumably called Now That's What I Call The Song I'm Worried Will Be The Last

The Song I'm Worried Will Be The Last

The Song I'm Worried Will Be The Last Thing I Think About Before I Die.

Thing I Think About Before I Die.

Thing I Think About Before I Die. But interestingly, for commercials you

But interestingly, for commercials you

But interestingly, for commercials you see that much, you probably don't know

see that much, you probably don't know

see that much, you probably don't know what J.G. Wentworth is actually selling

what J.G. Wentworth is actually selling

what J.G. Wentworth is actually selling there, which is a little weird, isn't

there, which is a little weird, isn't

there, which is a little weird, isn't it? It is generally a red flag when

it? It is generally a red flag when

it? It is generally a red flag when something has a massive ad budget but

something has a massive ad budget but

something has a massive ad budget but you don't know what they actually do,

you don't know what they actually do,

you don't know what they actually do, whether it's Shen Yun or Cars

whether it's Shen Yun or Cars

whether it's Shen Yun or Cars for Kids.

for Kids.

for Kids. But the good news is we're going to give

But the good news is we're going to give

But the good news is we're going to give you an answer tonight. The bad news is

you an answer tonight. The bad news is

you an answer tonight. The bad news is the rest of this story.

the rest of this story.

the rest of this story. A structured settlement is actually

A structured settlement is actually

A structured settlement is actually pretty easy to understand. You're

pretty easy to understand. You're

pretty easy to understand. You're generally eligible for one if you've

generally eligible for one if you've

generally eligible for one if you've suffered a physical injury or someone

suffered a physical injury or someone

suffered a physical injury or someone died because of a wrongful action and

died because of a wrongful action and

died because of a wrongful action and you've been awarded a settlement. Maybe

you've been awarded a settlement. Maybe

you've been awarded a settlement. Maybe you got hit by a car or suffered an

you got hit by a car or suffered an

you got hit by a car or suffered an accident at work or were poisoned by

accident at work or were poisoned by

accident at work or were poisoned by lead paint. That settlement money can

lead paint. That settlement money can

lead paint. That settlement money can then be structured into increments,

then be structured into increments,

then be structured into increments, often monthly with periodic lump sums

often monthly with periodic lump sums

often monthly with periodic lump sums instead of you getting it all at once.

instead of you getting it all at once.

instead of you getting it all at once. And in theory, that's not a bad idea.

And in theory, that's not a bad idea.

And in theory, that's not a bad idea. It's income tax-free, and if it's

It's income tax-free, and if it's

It's income tax-free, and if it's designed well, it means that you're

designed well, it means that you're

designed well, it means that you're supported for the rest of your life or

supported for the rest of your life or

supported for the rest of your life or however long the settlement runs. That

however long the settlement runs. That

however long the settlement runs. That is why a lot of personal finance experts

is why a lot of personal finance experts

is why a lot of personal finance experts are actually fans of structured

are actually fans of structured

are actually fans of structured settlements. In fact, here's Suze Orman

settlements. In fact, here's Suze Orman

settlements. In fact, here's Suze Orman giving them a strong endorsement. If you

giving them a strong endorsement. If you

giving them a strong endorsement. If you are ever in an accident, if you are ever

are ever in an accident, if you are ever

are ever in an accident, if you are ever in a situation where you get a large

in a situation where you get a large

in a situation where you get a large settlement for whatever reason, you are

settlement for whatever reason, you are

settlement for whatever reason, you are to run, you are to not walk, you are to

to run, you are to not walk, you are to

to run, you are to not walk, you are to run to the place that you can get a

run to the place that you can get a

run to the place that you can get a structured settlement. Yeah, that is a

structured settlement. Yeah, that is a

structured settlement. Yeah, that is a pretty big cosign.

pretty big cosign.

pretty big cosign. Delivered with that signature Orman

Delivered with that signature Orman

Delivered with that signature Orman energy, really best described as local

energy, really best described as local

energy, really best described as local real estate agent who just snorted

real estate agent who just snorted

real estate agent who just snorted Adderall.

Adderall.

Adderall. And And I assume it's the kind of

And And I assume it's the kind of

And And I assume it's the kind of support that you'll lay out in her

support that you'll lay out in her

support that you'll lay out in her upcoming book, Five Strategies for the

upcoming book, Five Strategies for the

upcoming book, Five Strategies for the Nine Steps Behind the Four Secrets of

Nine Steps Behind the Four Secrets of

Nine Steps Behind the Four Secrets of Life, Love, Tomorrow, Yesterday, and

Life, Love, Tomorrow, Yesterday, and

Life, Love, Tomorrow, Yesterday, and Structured Settlements: Three Easy Steps

Structured Settlements: Three Easy Steps

Structured Settlements: Three Easy Steps by Suze Orman.

by Suze Orman.

by Suze Orman. A surprising number of people receive

A surprising number of people receive

A surprising number of people receive structured settlements. One estimate a

structured settlements. One estimate a

structured settlements. One estimate a few years ago put the number at around

few years ago put the number at around

few years ago put the number at around 750,000

750,000

750,000 in the US. But, some may end up needing

in the US. But, some may end up needing

in the US. But, some may end up needing or wanting an advance on the money that

or wanting an advance on the money that

or wanting an advance on the money that they are getting. The thing is, that can

they are getting. The thing is, that can

they are getting. The thing is, that can be a bit of a challenge with structured

be a bit of a challenge with structured

be a bit of a challenge with structured settlements because once the structure

settlements because once the structure

settlements because once the structure has been set, recipients can't simply

has been set, recipients can't simply

has been set, recipients can't simply change their minds and cash in the

change their minds and cash in the

change their minds and cash in the remaining payments. And that is where

remaining payments. And that is where

remaining payments. And that is where companies like J.G. Wentworth come in.

companies like J.G. Wentworth come in.

companies like J.G. Wentworth come in. And it is why their commercials are

And it is why their commercials are

And it is why their commercials are filled with a bunch of Vikings singing,

filled with a bunch of Vikings singing,

filled with a bunch of Vikings singing, "I have a structured settlement and I

"I have a structured settlement and I

"I have a structured settlement and I need cash now."

need cash now."

need cash now." Very basically, these companies will buy

Very basically, these companies will buy

Very basically, these companies will buy the rights to future payments from your

the rights to future payments from your

the rights to future payments from your settlement and exchange give you a lump

settlement and exchange give you a lump

settlement and exchange give you a lump of cash. But, they can take a massive

of cash. But, they can take a massive

of cash. But, they can take a massive cut. One analysis of seven states found

cut. One analysis of seven states found

cut. One analysis of seven states found that on average, these companies are

that on average, these companies are

that on average, these companies are keeping about 60% of the money, and

keeping about 60% of the money, and

keeping about 60% of the money, and sometimes far more. So, this is a

sometimes far more. So, this is a

sometimes far more. So, this is a business built around getting people to

business built around getting people to

business built around getting people to sell their settlements for pennies on

sell their settlements for pennies on

sell their settlements for pennies on the dollar. It's called the factoring

the dollar. It's called the factoring

the dollar. It's called the factoring industry and it is much bigger than you

industry and it is much bigger than you

industry and it is much bigger than you might think. These companies buy an

might think. These companies buy an

might think. These companies buy an estimated $1 billion worth of payments

estimated $1 billion worth of payments

estimated $1 billion worth of payments each year, but it is important to know

each year, but it is important to know

each year, but it is important to know that many who do business with these

that many who do business with these

that many who do business with these companies end up deeply regretting it.

companies end up deeply regretting it.

companies end up deeply regretting it. Like this man who was in a car wreck in

Like this man who was in a car wreck in

Like this man who was in a car wreck in eighth grade and suffered severe brain

eighth grade and suffered severe brain

eighth grade and suffered severe brain injuries. And I'll let him pick up the

injuries. And I'll let him pick up the

injuries. And I'll let him pick up the story from there. My mom got me a lawyer

story from there. My mom got me a lawyer

story from there. My mom got me a lawyer sometime or another. She set me up a

sometime or another. She set me up a

sometime or another. She set me up a structured settlement

structured settlement

structured settlement totaling up to $99,000 and some odd

totaling up to $99,000 and some odd

totaling up to $99,000 and some odd dollars. Well, pretty much

dollars. Well, pretty much

dollars. Well, pretty much sold half to J.G. Wentworth. Telling you

sold half to J.G. Wentworth. Telling you

sold half to J.G. Wentworth. Telling you right now, don't you ever listen to none

right now, don't you ever listen to none

right now, don't you ever listen to none of them people.

They'll let you down every time. I

They'll let you down every time. I

They'll let you down every time. I regret it so much. This one of my

regret it so much. This one of my

regret it so much. This one of my biggest regret of my whole life. That is

biggest regret of my whole life. That is

biggest regret of my whole life. That is horrible. A financial transaction should

horrible. A financial transaction should

horrible. A financial transaction should not be one of the biggest regrets of

not be one of the biggest regrets of

not be one of the biggest regrets of your life. That should be reserved for

your life. That should be reserved for

your life. That should be reserved for something like not staying in touch with

something like not staying in touch with

something like not staying in touch with old friends or spending too much time at

old friends or spending too much time at

old friends or spending too much time at work or publicly harassing Oscar

work or publicly harassing Oscar

work or publicly harassing Oscar nominated actor Adam Driver for nearly

nominated actor Adam Driver for nearly

nominated actor Adam Driver for nearly an entire calendar year. You know, the

an entire calendar year. You know, the

an entire calendar year. You know, the normal things that we all look back on

normal things that we all look back on

normal things that we all look back on with some regret. The point is, if an

with some regret. The point is, if an

with some regret. The point is, if an industry is this ubiquitous, this

industry is this ubiquitous, this

industry is this ubiquitous, this heavily advertised, and can trigger that

heavily advertised, and can trigger that

heavily advertised, and can trigger that level of regret, tonight let's take a

level of regret, tonight let's take a

level of regret, tonight let's take a look at the factoring companies who buy

look at the factoring companies who buy

look at the factoring companies who buy structured settlements. Let's start with

structured settlements. Let's start with

structured settlements. Let's start with the fact that one of the first big

the fact that one of the first big

the fact that one of the first big companies to do this was J.G. Wentworth.

companies to do this was J.G. Wentworth.

companies to do this was J.G. Wentworth. They were founded back in the '90s and

They were founded back in the '90s and

They were founded back in the '90s and interestingly, none of the founders were

interestingly, none of the founders were

interestingly, none of the founders were named J.G. Wentworth. They just named

named J.G. Wentworth. They just named

named J.G. Wentworth. They just named their company after a man who doesn't

their company after a man who doesn't

their company after a man who doesn't seem to exist and not as it sounds like

seem to exist and not as it sounds like

seem to exist and not as it sounds like a legacy admission at Duke who nearly

a legacy admission at Duke who nearly

a legacy admission at Duke who nearly died in his frat house after butt

died in his frat house after butt

died in his frat house after butt chugging Yeungling. But,

chugging Yeungling. But,

chugging Yeungling. But, since then J.G. Wentworth has become, in

since then J.G. Wentworth has become, in

since then J.G. Wentworth has become, in its own words, the largest purchaser of

its own words, the largest purchaser of

its own words, the largest purchaser of structured settlement payments in the

structured settlement payments in the

structured settlement payments in the US. And they've done that both under the

US. And they've done that both under the

US. And they've done that both under the Wentworth name and under a number of

Wentworth name and under a number of

Wentworth name and under a number of subsidiaries that they've owned over the

subsidiaries that they've owned over the

subsidiaries that they've owned over the years. They've been so successful, in

years. They've been so successful, in

years. They've been so successful, in fact, they've also inspired a whole

fact, they've also inspired a whole

fact, they've also inspired a whole bunch of copycats. Many of whom have

bunch of copycats. Many of whom have

bunch of copycats. Many of whom have even tried to imitate the success of

even tried to imitate the success of

even tried to imitate the success of their horrendously catchy jingle, but

their horrendously catchy jingle, but

their horrendously catchy jingle, but with mixed results. Just take a look at

with mixed results. Just take a look at

with mixed results. Just take a look at this video from another factoring

this video from another factoring

this video from another factoring company, 1-2-3 Lump Sum.

company, 1-2-3 Lump Sum.

company, 1-2-3 Lump Sum. 1-2-3 Lump Sum has done a tremendous job

1-2-3 Lump Sum has done a tremendous job

1-2-3 Lump Sum has done a tremendous job with their brand. They're everywhere,

with their brand. They're everywhere,

with their brand. They're everywhere, especially with that jingle. I mean, how

especially with that jingle. I mean, how

especially with that jingle. I mean, how can you not sing their song? 1-2-3 Lump

can you not sing their song? 1-2-3 Lump

can you not sing their song? 1-2-3 Lump Sum.

Sum.

Sum. 1-2-3 Lump Sum.

1-2-3 Lump Sum.

1-2-3 Lump Sum. >> 1-2-3 Lump [music] Sum. 1-2-3 Lump Sum.

>> 1-2-3 Lump [music] Sum. 1-2-3 Lump Sum.

>> 1-2-3 Lump [music] Sum. 1-2-3 Lump Sum. 1-2-3 Lump Sum.

1-2-3 Lump Sum.

1-2-3 Lump Sum. Okay.

Okay.

Okay. I'm

I'm

I'm I'm confused. When you say, "How can you

I'm confused. When you say, "How can you

I'm confused. When you say, "How can you not sing their song?" That seems so very

not sing their song?" That seems so very

not sing their song?" That seems so very easy not to do.

easy not to do.

easy not to do. To be honest, not even the company's own

To be honest, not even the company's own

To be honest, not even the company's own employees seem to be able to sing it.

employees seem to be able to sing it.

employees seem to be able to sing it. In general, factoring companies like to

In general, factoring companies like to

In general, factoring companies like to present themselves as performing a

present themselves as performing a

present themselves as performing a public service, lending people

public service, lending people

public service, lending people assistance to get around a system too

assistance to get around a system too

assistance to get around a system too inflexible for their needs. Here is a

inflexible for their needs. Here is a

inflexible for their needs. Here is a non-jingle-based J.G. Wentworth ad

non-jingle-based J.G. Wentworth ad

non-jingle-based J.G. Wentworth ad making that case through a pretty

making that case through a pretty

making that case through a pretty patronizing analogy.

patronizing analogy.

patronizing analogy. I know you love to draw.

I know you love to draw.

I know you love to draw. Here are some crayons.

Here are some crayons.

Here are some crayons. You get [music] one crayon now, and then

You get [music] one crayon now, and then

You get [music] one crayon now, and then you get one crayon a year for the next

you get one crayon a year for the next

you get one crayon a year for the next 25 years.

25 years.

25 years. Can't I have the red one, too?

Can't I have the red one, too?

Can't I have the red one, too? Not until this time next year.

Not until this time next year.

Not until this time next year. But I really need the red.

But I really need the red.

But I really need the red. One crayon a year doesn't make sense,

One crayon a year doesn't make sense,

One crayon a year doesn't make sense, does [music] it? And sometimes neither

does [music] it? And sometimes neither

does [music] it? And sometimes neither does waiting for my structured

does waiting for my structured

does waiting for my structured settlement payments.

settlement payments.

settlement payments. Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Plus, it is a little condescending to

Plus, it is a little condescending to

Plus, it is a little condescending to have an ad whose message is essentially,

have an ad whose message is essentially,

have an ad whose message is essentially, "You are a child and you want more

"You are a child and you want more

"You are a child and you want more crayons now."

crayons now."

crayons now." But the bigger problem is that that ad

But the bigger problem is that that ad

But the bigger problem is that that ad doesn't clearly explain that while you

doesn't clearly explain that while you

doesn't clearly explain that while you might get a second crayon right now, it

might get a second crayon right now, it

might get a second crayon right now, it could end up costing you half the box.

could end up costing you half the box.

could end up costing you half the box. And that is something that many who

And that is something that many who

And that is something that many who enter into these deals don't fully

enter into these deals don't fully

enter into these deals don't fully understand. Partly because they are

understand. Partly because they are

understand. Partly because they are complex transactions, but in many cases

complex transactions, but in many cases

complex transactions, but in many cases because people with structured

because people with structured

because people with structured settlements are likely you have some

settlements are likely you have some

settlements are likely you have some form of permanent disability from the

form of permanent disability from the

form of permanent disability from the incident that led to the settlement that

incident that led to the settlement that

incident that led to the settlement that affects them physically and in many

affects them physically and in many

affects them physically and in many cases cognitively, behaviorally, and

cases cognitively, behaviorally, and

cases cognitively, behaviorally, and emotionally. In fact, some of the first

emotionally. In fact, some of the first

emotionally. In fact, some of the first in-depth reporting on this industry came

in-depth reporting on this industry came

in-depth reporting on this industry came in the wake of the killing of Freddie

in the wake of the killing of Freddie

in the wake of the killing of Freddie Gray in Baltimore. Afterward, reporters

Gray in Baltimore. Afterward, reporters

Gray in Baltimore. Afterward, reporters discovered that he'd been awarded a

discovered that he'd been awarded a

discovered that he'd been awarded a structured settlement as the result of a

structured settlement as the result of a

structured settlement as the result of a lead paint lawsuit as had his sisters.

lead paint lawsuit as had his sisters.

lead paint lawsuit as had his sisters. And they later sold them to a factoring

And they later sold them to a factoring

And they later sold them to a factoring company. And as reporters kept poking

company. And as reporters kept poking

company. And as reporters kept poking around, they discovered many in

around, they discovered many in

around, they discovered many in Baltimore had a similar story and some

Baltimore had a similar story and some

Baltimore had a similar story and some didn't seem to fully understand the

didn't seem to fully understand the

didn't seem to fully understand the contract they were signing. Take Crystal

contract they were signing. Take Crystal

contract they were signing. Take Crystal Linton, who was also exposed to lead

Linton, who was also exposed to lead

Linton, who was also exposed to lead paint as a child, which as she will tell

paint as a child, which as she will tell

paint as a child, which as she will tell you led to irreversible brain damage.

you led to irreversible brain damage.

you led to irreversible brain damage. I was um

I was um

I was um in special education probably like

in special education probably like

in special education probably like for a few years and trouble reading and

for a few years and trouble reading and

for a few years and trouble reading and writing. I can't remember

writing. I can't remember

writing. I can't remember everything. A psychologist found she was

everything. A psychologist found she was

everything. A psychologist found she was left functionally illiterate with a

left functionally illiterate with a

left functionally illiterate with a fourth-grade reading level. Her family

fourth-grade reading level. Her family

fourth-grade reading level. Her family sued two landlords, eventually settling

sued two landlords, eventually settling

sued two landlords, eventually settling for $630,000.

for $630,000.

for $630,000. But then she started getting flyers like

But then she started getting flyers like

But then she started getting flyers like these in the mail offering quick cash

these in the mail offering quick cash

these in the mail offering quick cash from companies including Stone Street

from companies including Stone Street

from companies including Stone Street Capital of Bethesda, Maryland. Over the

Capital of Bethesda, Maryland. Over the

Capital of Bethesda, Maryland. Over the next year and a half, she sold her

next year and a half, she sold her

next year and a half, she sold her payment stream, then valued at $408,000

payment stream, then valued at $408,000

payment stream, then valued at $408,000 for $66,000,

for $66,000,

for $66,000, most of it to Stone Street Capital. Do

most of it to Stone Street Capital. Do

most of it to Stone Street Capital. Do you feel like you understood No.

you feel like you understood No.

you feel like you understood No. >> how it worked?

>> how it worked?

>> how it worked? >> No. So you don't know how you signed

>> No. So you don't know how you signed

>> No. So you don't know how you signed away your money essentially? Um no.

away your money essentially? Um no.

away your money essentially? Um no. Yeah, that company persuaded someone to

Yeah, that company persuaded someone to

Yeah, that company persuaded someone to sign something valuable away despite her

sign something valuable away despite her

sign something valuable away despite her not fully understanding the risks

not fully understanding the risks

not fully understanding the risks involved. That is so obviously terrible,

involved. That is so obviously terrible,

involved. That is so obviously terrible, it's literally what the villain does in

it's literally what the villain does in

it's literally what the villain does in The Little Mermaid.

The Little Mermaid.

The Little Mermaid. Except in this case, the contract came

Except in this case, the contract came

Except in this case, the contract came from a factoring company instead of a

from a factoring company instead of a

from a factoring company instead of a sassy half octopus whose only friends

sassy half octopus whose only friends

sassy half octopus whose only friends are two eels.

are two eels.

are two eels. >> [laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> [laughter] >> And Crystal wasn't alone in getting

>> And Crystal wasn't alone in getting

>> And Crystal wasn't alone in getting targeted. Another company, Access

targeted. Another company, Access

targeted. Another company, Access Funding, allegedly did deals with at

Funding, allegedly did deals with at

Funding, allegedly did deals with at least a hundred injured and

least a hundred injured and

least a hundred injured and intellectually impaired Marylanders,

intellectually impaired Marylanders,

intellectually impaired Marylanders, most of whom were victims of lead paint

most of whom were victims of lead paint

most of whom were victims of lead paint poisoning. And they were aggressive in

poisoning. And they were aggressive in

poisoning. And they were aggressive in searching for clients. At one point,

searching for clients. At one point,

searching for clients. At one point, they had 22 billboards throughout the

they had 22 billboards throughout the

they had 22 billboards throughout the city like these, urging victims of lead

city like these, urging victims of lead

city like these, urging victims of lead paint poisoning to get cash now.

paint poisoning to get cash now.

paint poisoning to get cash now. Meanwhile, its employees apparently

Meanwhile, its employees apparently

Meanwhile, its employees apparently worked to identify lead paint virgins,

worked to identify lead paint virgins,

worked to identify lead paint virgins, which is to say finding people who'd

which is to say finding people who'd

which is to say finding people who'd received lead paint settlements, but had

received lead paint settlements, but had

received lead paint settlements, but had not sold them yet, as part of what it

not sold them yet, as part of what it

not sold them yet, as part of what it called its virgin research project.

called its virgin research project.

called its virgin research project. Which is obviously terrible, but in part

Which is obviously terrible, but in part

Which is obviously terrible, but in part because virgin research project sounds

because virgin research project sounds

because virgin research project sounds like an in-depth study of a college a

like an in-depth study of a college a

like an in-depth study of a college a cappella group.

cappella group.

cappella group. >> [laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> [laughter] >> And internal emails later showed just

>> And internal emails later showed just

>> And internal emails later showed just how excited Access Funding was about

how excited Access Funding was about

how excited Access Funding was about their potential new client pool.

their potential new client pool.

their potential new client pool. There's a whole generation in their

There's a whole generation in their

There's a whole generation in their mid-20s to mid-30s that all have lead

mid-20s to mid-30s that all have lead

mid-20s to mid-30s that all have lead paint settlements, one executive wrote

paint settlements, one executive wrote

paint settlements, one executive wrote to another. All the row houses had

to another. All the row houses had

to another. All the row houses had paint. We signed two brothers at once,

paint. We signed two brothers at once,

paint. We signed two brothers at once, and while there, our rep found two other

and while there, our rep found two other

and while there, our rep found two other family members have payments, and their

family members have payments, and their

family members have payments, and their friends do, too. This is an opportunity.

friends do, too. This is an opportunity.

friends do, too. This is an opportunity. Wow, that is a lot of excitement for an

Wow, that is a lot of excitement for an

Wow, that is a lot of excitement for an email about lead poisoning.

email about lead poisoning.

email about lead poisoning. And that is generally not how I would

And that is generally not how I would

And that is generally not how I would use the word opportunity.

use the word opportunity.

use the word opportunity. An opportunity would be your roommate

An opportunity would be your roommate

An opportunity would be your roommate giving away her cool jacket, or someone

giving away her cool jacket, or someone

giving away her cool jacket, or someone in a coffee shop packing up their things

in a coffee shop packing up their things

in a coffee shop packing up their things at the only table that has an outlet, or

at the only table that has an outlet, or

at the only table that has an outlet, or your child ordering an ice cream that

your child ordering an ice cream that

your child ordering an ice cream that they definitely won't finish, and it's

they definitely won't finish, and it's

they definitely won't finish, and it's actually a normal flavor this time

actually a normal flavor this time

actually a normal flavor this time instead of something blue.

instead of something blue.

instead of something blue. Massive lead poisoning is not that.

Massive lead poisoning is not that.

Massive lead poisoning is not that. And it gets worse, because in other

And it gets worse, because in other

And it gets worse, because in other emails, the company's head of sales

emails, the company's head of sales

emails, the company's head of sales wrote that their clientele can barely

wrote that their clientele can barely

wrote that their clientele can barely form sentences. And its sales manual

form sentences. And its sales manual

form sentences. And its sales manual instructed staff to bombard potential

instructed staff to bombard potential

instructed staff to bombard potential customers with calls, saying, "You are

customers with calls, saying, "You are

customers with calls, saying, "You are expected to call that lead 9 to 10 times

expected to call that lead 9 to 10 times

expected to call that lead 9 to 10 times a day for the next 3 days, and you must

a day for the next 3 days, and you must

a day for the next 3 days, and you must also be texting them, emailing them, and

also be texting them, emailing them, and

also be texting them, emailing them, and trying to find them on social media like

trying to find them on social media like

trying to find them on social media like Facebook." It also specified that the

Facebook." It also specified that the

Facebook." It also specified that the people who either call in or apply very

people who either call in or apply very

people who either call in or apply very late at night are most likely the best

late at night are most likely the best

late at night are most likely the best leads, because they are the people who

leads, because they are the people who

leads, because they are the people who are up at night worrying about money.

are up at night worrying about money.

are up at night worrying about money. And if that wasn't bad enough, the last

And if that wasn't bad enough, the last

And if that wasn't bad enough, the last page of that manual said to be careful

page of that manual said to be careful

page of that manual said to be careful what you put in writing and assume that

what you put in writing and assume that

what you put in writing and assume that every email you write will show up on

every email you write will show up on

every email you write will show up on the cover of the Wall Street Journal,

the cover of the Wall Street Journal,

the cover of the Wall Street Journal, which is CLEARLY A PRETTY stupid

which is CLEARLY A PRETTY stupid

which is CLEARLY A PRETTY stupid thing to put in writing.

thing to put in writing.

thing to put in writing. Now,

Now,

Now, thanks in part to those aggressive

thanks in part to those aggressive

thanks in part to those aggressive tactics, the Maryland AG estimates that

tactics, the Maryland AG estimates that

tactics, the Maryland AG estimates that over a period of around 2 years, Access

over a period of around 2 years, Access

over a period of around 2 years, Access Funding acquired future payments with a

Funding acquired future payments with a

Funding acquired future payments with a total value of 32.6 million dollars for

total value of 32.6 million dollars for

total value of 32.6 million dollars for which it paid out at most 7.5 million.

which it paid out at most 7.5 million.

which it paid out at most 7.5 million. And the thing is, those kind of

And the thing is, those kind of

And the thing is, those kind of aggressive sales tactics can be par for

aggressive sales tactics can be par for

aggressive sales tactics can be par for the course in this industry because

the course in this industry because

the course in this industry because while these companies love to present

while these companies love to present

while these companies love to present themselves as only helping people with

themselves as only helping people with

themselves as only helping people with specific, understandable needs for their

specific, understandable needs for their

specific, understandable needs for their settlement money, the truth is they

settlement money, the truth is they

settlement money, the truth is they might be the ones creating that need.

might be the ones creating that need.

might be the ones creating that need. Here is one J.G. Wentworth employee on a

Here is one J.G. Wentworth employee on a

Here is one J.G. Wentworth employee on a podcast about sales tactics talking

podcast about sales tactics talking

podcast about sales tactics talking about cold calling potential prospects.

about cold calling potential prospects.

about cold calling potential prospects. When you call somebody,

When you call somebody,

When you call somebody, they don't need anything. They they it's

they don't need anything. They they it's

they don't need anything. They they it's you got to unlock the wants. Like, you

you got to unlock the wants. Like, you

you got to unlock the wants. Like, you got to unlock what they want. They don't

got to unlock what they want. They don't

got to unlock what they want. They don't need anything. They call you when they

need anything. They call you when they

need anything. They call you when they need something. So, know the difference.

need something. So, know the difference.

need something. So, know the difference. So, absolutely can prospect. Absolutely.

So, absolutely can prospect. Absolutely.

So, absolutely can prospect. Absolutely. Just know that you're dealing with a

Just know that you're dealing with a

Just know that you're dealing with a different animal when you start making

different animal when you start making

different animal when you start making those outbound calls. They don't need

those outbound calls. They don't need

those outbound calls. They don't need anything. You got to unlock wants. Okay.

anything. You got to unlock wants. Okay.

anything. You got to unlock wants. Okay. Unlocking wants clearly shouldn't be a

Unlocking wants clearly shouldn't be a

Unlocking wants clearly shouldn't be a tactic for getting access to someone's

tactic for getting access to someone's

tactic for getting access to someone's structured settlement. At best, it

structured settlement. At best, it

structured settlement. At best, it should be a tagline for a YouTube pickup

should be a tagline for a YouTube pickup

should be a tagline for a YouTube pickup artist with 30 followers

artist with 30 followers

artist with 30 followers or the name of a romance fantasy book

or the name of a romance fantasy book

or the name of a romance fantasy book about an imprisoned centaur that falls

about an imprisoned centaur that falls

about an imprisoned centaur that falls in love with a hot dragon or whatever. I

in love with a hot dragon or whatever. I

in love with a hot dragon or whatever. I just

just

just I don't care about it, okay? Now, read

I don't care about it, okay? Now, read

I don't care about it, okay? Now, read whatever you want, have fun, jerk off to

whatever you want, have fun, jerk off to

whatever you want, have fun, jerk off to magic, but I simply

magic, but I simply

magic, but I simply I I simply cannot care.

I I simply cannot care.

I I simply cannot care. And that process of unlocking wants can

And that process of unlocking wants can

And that process of unlocking wants can start as soon as someone's able to sign

start as soon as someone's able to sign

start as soon as someone's able to sign a contract because some companies

a contract because some companies

a contract because some companies reportedly employ an army of researchers

reportedly employ an army of researchers

reportedly employ an army of researchers to plow through court records on the

to plow through court records on the

to plow through court records on the lookout for cases that end with a large

lookout for cases that end with a large

lookout for cases that end with a large settlement. Some are even said to troll

settlement. Some are even said to troll

settlement. Some are even said to troll dockets trying to find people who

dockets trying to find people who

dockets trying to find people who receive settlements as children so they

receive settlements as children so they

receive settlements as children so they can start calling the second they turn

can start calling the second they turn

can start calling the second they turn 18. And look, there are obviously lots

18. And look, there are obviously lots

18. And look, there are obviously lots of good things about turning 18. You're

of good things about turning 18. You're

of good things about turning 18. You're eligible to vote. You no longer run the

eligible to vote. You no longer run the

eligible to vote. You no longer run the risk of getting texted by Drake. But

risk of getting texted by Drake. But

risk of getting texted by Drake. But getting preyed upon by factoring

getting preyed upon by factoring

getting preyed upon by factoring companies is not one of them. And

companies is not one of them. And

companies is not one of them. And companies can be utterly shameless in

companies can be utterly shameless in

companies can be utterly shameless in their enticements, sending things like

their enticements, sending things like

their enticements, sending things like checks and prepaid Visa gift cards,

checks and prepaid Visa gift cards,

checks and prepaid Visa gift cards, urging people to call and activate them.

urging people to call and activate them.

urging people to call and activate them. A former employee at a company called

A former employee at a company called

A former employee at a company called Seneca One once said that he'd seen

Seneca One once said that he'd seen

Seneca One once said that he'd seen sales agents pay people $50 to stay on

sales agents pay people $50 to stay on

sales agents pay people $50 to stay on the line for 5 minutes. And the

the line for 5 minutes. And the

the line for 5 minutes. And the companies most desperate for deals can

companies most desperate for deals can

companies most desperate for deals can really go all out. One lawsuit alleges

really go all out. One lawsuit alleges

really go all out. One lawsuit alleges that a factoring salesperson wined and

that a factoring salesperson wined and

that a factoring salesperson wined and dined a settlement seller at fancy

dined a settlement seller at fancy

dined a settlement seller at fancy restaurants and clubs, even providing

restaurants and clubs, even providing

restaurants and clubs, even providing them with marijuana. While another

them with marijuana. While another

them with marijuana. While another company allegedly flew a potential

company allegedly flew a potential

company allegedly flew a potential customer to South Florida and took him

customer to South Florida and took him

customer to South Florida and took him to two strip clubs to entice him into

to two strip clubs to entice him into

to two strip clubs to entice him into selling more of his payments. And look,

selling more of his payments. And look,

selling more of his payments. And look, the factoring industry will insist that

the factoring industry will insist that

the factoring industry will insist that however aggressively they might market

however aggressively they might market

however aggressively they might market their services, there is a safeguard

their services, there is a safeguard

their services, there is a safeguard against exploitation because a judge

against exploitation because a judge

against exploitation because a judge eventually has to sign off on any

eventually has to sign off on any

eventually has to sign off on any transaction, which is true. Every state

transaction, which is true. Every state

transaction, which is true. Every state in DC has a structured settlement

in DC has a structured settlement

in DC has a structured settlement protection act that requires court

protection act that requires court

protection act that requires court approval of these purchases and

approval of these purchases and

approval of these purchases and specifies that they must be in the best

specifies that they must be in the best

specifies that they must be in the best interest of the payee. But

interest of the payee. But

interest of the payee. But it is really worth knowing just how

it is really worth knowing just how

it is really worth knowing just how easily that system can be gained. And

easily that system can be gained. And

easily that system can be gained. And don't just take that from me. Those who

don't just take that from me. Those who

don't just take that from me. Those who have studied this industry have said

have studied this industry have said

have studied this industry have said that the requirement of court approval

that the requirement of court approval

that the requirement of court approval has largely failed.

has largely failed.

has largely failed. As this legal expert explains, in

As this legal expert explains, in

As this legal expert explains, in hindsight, there was always a

hindsight, there was always a

hindsight, there was always a fundamental flaw with the setup of this

fundamental flaw with the setup of this

fundamental flaw with the setup of this process.

process.

process. It's an odd proceeding because it's not

It's an odd proceeding because it's not

It's an odd proceeding because it's not an adversary proceeding. The only

an adversary proceeding. The only

an adversary proceeding. The only parties that are there are the purchaser

parties that are there are the purchaser

parties that are there are the purchaser and the seller who for good or ill has

and the seller who for good or ill has

and the seller who for good or ill has been persuaded to sell his or her

been persuaded to sell his or her

been persuaded to sell his or her payment rights.

payment rights.

payment rights. So there's no adversary presentation and

So there's no adversary presentation and

So there's no adversary presentation and that puts judges in an awkward position.

that puts judges in an awkward position.

that puts judges in an awkward position. Yeah, he's absolutely right. The

Yeah, he's absolutely right. The

Yeah, he's absolutely right. The speaking of awkward positions, there

speaking of awkward positions, there

speaking of awkward positions, there simply has to be a better way of having

simply has to be a better way of having

simply has to be a better way of having that man testify.

that man testify.

that man testify. You are making an expert look like a

You are making an expert look like a

You are making an expert look like a dental hygienist about to floss me.

dental hygienist about to floss me.

dental hygienist about to floss me. But the point here is often only three

But the point here is often only three

But the point here is often only three people are present for the hearing. The

people are present for the hearing. The

people are present for the hearing. The judge, the person selling the payments,

judge, the person selling the payments,

judge, the person selling the payments, and a lawyer for the company buying

and a lawyer for the company buying

and a lawyer for the company buying them. That is the main reason why these

them. That is the main reason why these

them. That is the main reason why these transactions often get approved in a

transactions often get approved in a

transactions often get approved in a short minutes-long hearing. An

short minutes-long hearing. An

short minutes-long hearing. An investigation in Minnesota found

investigation in Minnesota found

investigation in Minnesota found hearings took an average of 7 minutes to

hearings took an average of 7 minutes to

hearings took an average of 7 minutes to finish, with some judges approving

finish, with some judges approving

finish, with some judges approving transactions after just two or three

transactions after just two or three

transactions after just two or three minutes of testimony, which is clearly

minutes of testimony, which is clearly

minutes of testimony, which is clearly not long enough. RuPaul takes longer

not long enough. RuPaul takes longer

not long enough. RuPaul takes longer than that to deliberate. She makes you

than that to deliberate. She makes you

than that to deliberate. She makes you lip-sync for your life and sit through

lip-sync for your life and sit through

lip-sync for your life and sit through an entire commercial break before

an entire commercial break before

an entire commercial break before rendering her judgment.

rendering her judgment.

rendering her judgment. Now, to be fair, some judges will ask

Now, to be fair, some judges will ask

Now, to be fair, some judges will ask about the details of the deal, like what

about the details of the deal, like what

about the details of the deal, like what sellers' plans are for spending the

sellers' plans are for spending the

sellers' plans are for spending the money and their other sources of income.

money and their other sources of income.

money and their other sources of income. But if they don't do that, or if there

But if they don't do that, or if there

But if they don't do that, or if there are major drawbacks to the deal, the

are major drawbacks to the deal, the

are major drawbacks to the deal, the factoring company's lawyer is not

factoring company's lawyer is not

factoring company's lawyer is not incentivized to volunteer that

incentivized to volunteer that

incentivized to volunteer that information. Also, many judges feel it's

information. Also, many judges feel it's

information. Also, many judges feel it's not their place to prevent a sale even

not their place to prevent a sale even

not their place to prevent a sale even if they think it's a bad idea. One told

if they think it's a bad idea. One told

if they think it's a bad idea. One told a reporter, "I'm not surprised that many

a reporter, "I'm not surprised that many

a reporter, "I'm not surprised that many of these people would have regrets

of these people would have regrets

of these people would have regrets afterwards, but for the court to

afterwards, but for the court to

afterwards, but for the court to intervene and say, 'We know what's

intervene and say, 'We know what's

intervene and say, 'We know what's better for you,' I generally don't take

better for you,' I generally don't take

better for you,' I generally don't take that role in their lives." Meanwhile,

that role in their lives." Meanwhile,

that role in their lives." Meanwhile, other judges seem appalled by the deals

other judges seem appalled by the deals

other judges seem appalled by the deals that have come before them.

that have come before them.

that have come before them. I have never felt good about any of

I have never felt good about any of

I have never felt good about any of these. I see people who for the most

these. I see people who for the most

these. I see people who for the most part are in financially desperate

part are in financially desperate

part are in financially desperate situations

situations

situations and do not fully understand

and do not fully understand

and do not fully understand what they are doing and how much money

what they are doing and how much money

what they are doing and how much money they are actually losing. Wow, I've

they are actually losing. Wow, I've

they are actually losing. Wow, I've never felt good about any of these. It

never felt good about any of these. It

never felt good about any of these. It is not ideal when judges are talking

is not ideal when judges are talking

is not ideal when judges are talking about factoring cases the way I talk

about factoring cases the way I talk

about factoring cases the way I talk about the names of Mountain Dew flavors.

about the names of Mountain Dew flavors.

about the names of Mountain Dew flavors. Code Red, Purple Thunder, Liberty Chill,

Code Red, Purple Thunder, Liberty Chill,

Code Red, Purple Thunder, Liberty Chill, Star Spangled Splash, Sweet Lightning.

Star Spangled Splash, Sweet Lightning.

Star Spangled Splash, Sweet Lightning. They all sound like horses who lost the

They all sound like horses who lost the

They all sound like horses who lost the Kentucky Derby, and I've never felt good

Kentucky Derby, and I've never felt good

Kentucky Derby, and I've never felt good about any of them.

about any of them.

about any of them. >> [laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> [laughter] >> And it's worth noting some companies go

>> And it's worth noting some companies go

>> And it's worth noting some companies go beyond just omitting information and

beyond just omitting information and

beyond just omitting information and have been accused of actively coaching

have been accused of actively coaching

have been accused of actively coaching or pressuring sellers on how to meet the

or pressuring sellers on how to meet the

or pressuring sellers on how to meet the best interest standard. In a case still

best interest standard. In a case still

best interest standard. In a case still pending, a woman who suffered lead

pending, a woman who suffered lead

pending, a woman who suffered lead poisoning as a child is suing a company

poisoning as a child is suing a company

poisoning as a child is suing a company called Vintage Equity claiming that just

called Vintage Equity claiming that just

called Vintage Equity claiming that just that. Apparently, the company claimed

that. Apparently, the company claimed

that. Apparently, the company claimed one of the reasons she wanted to sell

one of the reasons she wanted to sell

one of the reasons she wanted to sell part of her settlement was to purchase a

part of her settlement was to purchase a

part of her settlement was to purchase a vehicle so that she's not restricted to

vehicle so that she's not restricted to

vehicle so that she's not restricted to jobs in her vicinity, which sounds like

jobs in her vicinity, which sounds like

jobs in her vicinity, which sounds like a good idea, doesn't it? Until you learn

a good idea, doesn't it? Until you learn

a good idea, doesn't it? Until you learn that she did not have a driver's license

that she did not have a driver's license

that she did not have a driver's license or know how to drive.

or know how to drive.

or know how to drive. The company also allegedly coached her

The company also allegedly coached her

The company also allegedly coached her in real time whenever she appeared by

in real time whenever she appeared by

in real time whenever she appeared by telephone before the court with one of

telephone before the court with one of

telephone before the court with one of his employees even going to her home,

his employees even going to her home,

his employees even going to her home, sitting next to her on the couch, and

sitting next to her on the couch, and

sitting next to her on the couch, and using the mute unmute feature on his

using the mute unmute feature on his

using the mute unmute feature on his phone to secretly instruct her on how to

phone to secretly instruct her on how to

phone to secretly instruct her on how to answer the court's questions. Now, the

answer the court's questions. Now, the

answer the court's questions. Now, the company denies doing that, which I

company denies doing that, which I

company denies doing that, which I really hope is true because that is

really hope is true because that is

really hope is true because that is deeply unethical. The mute button should

deeply unethical. The mute button should

deeply unethical. The mute button should not be used for coaching structured

not be used for coaching structured

not be used for coaching structured settlement sellers, as we all know, it

settlement sellers, as we all know, it

settlement sellers, as we all know, it should be used for one purpose and one

should be used for one purpose and one

should be used for one purpose and one purpose only, and that is farting while

purpose only, and that is farting while

purpose only, and that is farting while on a business call.

on a business call.

on a business call. That is it. We live in a society.

That is it. We live in a society.

That is it. We live in a society. >> [laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> [laughter] >> Meanwhile, other companies engage in

>> Meanwhile, other companies engage in

>> Meanwhile, other companies engage in forum shopping where they seek out

forum shopping where they seek out

forum shopping where they seek out friendly judges known to approve deals,

friendly judges known to approve deals,

friendly judges known to approve deals, sometimes even taking cases into

sometimes even taking cases into

sometimes even taking cases into courtrooms far from where the sellers

courtrooms far from where the sellers

courtrooms far from where the sellers live. One company, Imperial, allegedly

live. One company, Imperial, allegedly

live. One company, Imperial, allegedly suggested a New York resident take his

suggested a New York resident take his

suggested a New York resident take his case to a lenient judge in Florida and

case to a lenient judge in Florida and

case to a lenient judge in Florida and sign a false lease that was used to

sign a false lease that was used to

sign a false lease that was used to obtain a Florida issued ID card, which

obtain a Florida issued ID card, which

obtain a Florida issued ID card, which is frankly a lot more trouble than I

is frankly a lot more trouble than I

is frankly a lot more trouble than I thought you'd have to go to to get a

thought you'd have to go to to get a

thought you'd have to go to to get a Florida ID.

Florida ID.

Florida ID. I didn't know that you needed a lease. I

I didn't know that you needed a lease. I

I didn't know that you needed a lease. I thought all you had to do was fail a

thought all you had to do was fail a

thought all you had to do was fail a breathalyzer and they'd just that you're

breathalyzer and they'd just that you're

breathalyzer and they'd just that you're local.

local.

local. And while that company denies any

And while that company denies any

And while that company denies any wrongdoing, stories like that are not

wrongdoing, stories like that are not

wrongdoing, stories like that are not uncommon. One attorney who worked for a

uncommon. One attorney who worked for a

uncommon. One attorney who worked for a bunch of factoring companies submitted

bunch of factoring companies submitted

bunch of factoring companies submitted at least 594 cases to the same judge in

at least 594 cases to the same judge in

at least 594 cases to the same judge in Virginia in just 1 year, and frequently

Virginia in just 1 year, and frequently

Virginia in just 1 year, and frequently got them approved in bulk. That

got them approved in bulk. That

got them approved in bulk. That courthouse was lately described as

courthouse was lately described as

courthouse was lately described as operating like an assembly line for the

operating like an assembly line for the

operating like an assembly line for the secretive industry of structured

secretive industry of structured

secretive industry of structured settlement purchasing. And if you are

settlement purchasing. And if you are

settlement purchasing. And if you are beginning to get the sense that this

beginning to get the sense that this

beginning to get the sense that this industry is less about helping people

industry is less about helping people

industry is less about helping people than about extracting wealth, you are

than about extracting wealth, you are

than about extracting wealth, you are right. Especially because this doesn't

right. Especially because this doesn't

right. Especially because this doesn't always end after just one deal.

always end after just one deal.

always end after just one deal. J.G. Wentworth has reported that their

J.G. Wentworth has reported that their

J.G. Wentworth has reported that their average customer has completed two

average customer has completed two

average customer has completed two separate transactions with them. And an

separate transactions with them. And an

separate transactions with them. And an investigation found that they'd gone to

investigation found that they'd gone to

investigation found that they'd gone to court as many as 13 times to buy

court as many as 13 times to buy

court as many as 13 times to buy payments from one woman. In fact,

payments from one woman. In fact,

payments from one woman. In fact, they've even bragged about how being a

they've even bragged about how being a

they've even bragged about how being a repeat customer with them actually makes

repeat customer with them actually makes

repeat customer with them actually makes things easier in videos like this.

things easier in videos like this.

things easier in videos like this. According to J.G. Wentworth, many of

According to J.G. Wentworth, many of

According to J.G. Wentworth, many of their customers have been through the

their customers have been through the

their customers have been through the process multiple times. And the good

process multiple times. And the good

process multiple times. And the good news is, if you do end up going back to

news is, if you do end up going back to

news is, if you do end up going back to sell more of your payments, it can be

sell more of your payments, it can be

sell more of your payments, it can be even easier than the first time. They

even easier than the first time. They

even easier than the first time. They keep your paperwork on file, which saves

keep your paperwork on file, which saves

keep your paperwork on file, which saves you time. And since you'll already be

you time. And since you'll already be

you time. And since you'll already be familiar with the process, you'll know

familiar with the process, you'll know

familiar with the process, you'll know what to expect from the beginning. Okay,

what to expect from the beginning. Okay,

what to expect from the beginning. Okay, but if you have to go back and sell more

but if you have to go back and sell more

but if you have to go back and sell more of your payments, that may not be a sign

of your payments, that may not be a sign

of your payments, that may not be a sign that you're a happy customer. It could

that you're a happy customer. It could

that you're a happy customer. It could just mean that your financial condition

just mean that your financial condition

just mean that your financial condition is deteriorating. And while I'm most

is deteriorating. And while I'm most

is deteriorating. And while I'm most concerned for anyone who saw that video

concerned for anyone who saw that video

concerned for anyone who saw that video and decided to give even more of their

and decided to give even more of their

and decided to give even more of their money to J.G. Wentworth, let's also

money to J.G. Wentworth, let's also

money to J.G. Wentworth, let's also spare a thought for the individual who

spare a thought for the individual who

spare a thought for the individual who watched that on YouTube and left the one

watched that on YouTube and left the one

watched that on YouTube and left the one and only comment underneath it that

and only comment underneath it that

and only comment underneath it that simply says, "I love you."

simply says, "I love you."

simply says, "I love you." It is

It is

It is not the most upsetting part of this

not the most upsetting part of this

not the most upsetting part of this story. In fact, it's arguably the least.

story. In fact, it's arguably the least.

story. In fact, it's arguably the least. But I am now obsessed

But I am now obsessed

But I am now obsessed with the individual who, out of all the

with the individual who, out of all the

with the individual who, out of all the videos on youtube.com,

videos on youtube.com,

videos on youtube.com, saw a marketing video for J.G. Wentworth

saw a marketing video for J.G. Wentworth

saw a marketing video for J.G. Wentworth and was so moved by it and or

and was so moved by it and or

and was so moved by it and or uncontrollably horny

uncontrollably horny

uncontrollably horny that they wrote I love you to the public

that they wrote I love you to the public

that they wrote I love you to the public face OF A FACTORING COMPANY SALES TEAM.

face OF A FACTORING COMPANY SALES TEAM.

face OF A FACTORING COMPANY SALES TEAM. WHAT COULD THAT MEAN?

WHAT COULD THAT MEAN?

WHAT COULD THAT MEAN? Is that commenter in love with her from

Is that commenter in love with her from

Is that commenter in love with her from looks alone? Or is that her ESTRANGED

looks alone? Or is that her ESTRANGED

looks alone? Or is that her ESTRANGED FATHER REACHING OUT THE ONLY WAY HE

FATHER REACHING OUT THE ONLY WAY HE

FATHER REACHING OUT THE ONLY WAY HE KNOWS HOW? THOSE THREE little words are

KNOWS HOW? THOSE THREE little words are

KNOWS HOW? THOSE THREE little words are a novel.

a novel.

a novel. But the thing is,

But the thing is,

But the thing is, once you've done one transaction, you

once you've done one transaction, you

once you've done one transaction, you can quickly become an easy target for

can quickly become an easy target for

can quickly become an easy target for other companies. Access Funding once

other companies. Access Funding once

other companies. Access Funding once wrote that once someone does a deal with

wrote that once someone does a deal with

wrote that once someone does a deal with JG Wentworth, there's a public record of

JG Wentworth, there's a public record of

JG Wentworth, there's a public record of it and they then become part of our

it and they then become part of our

it and they then become part of our calling and mailing lists. Basically,

calling and mailing lists. Basically,

calling and mailing lists. Basically, you get involved with them once and the

you get involved with them once and the

you get involved with them once and the predators will then swarm. It is like

predators will then swarm. It is like

predators will then swarm. It is like giving a pigeon in the park some bread.

giving a pigeon in the park some bread.

giving a pigeon in the park some bread. That is A HUGE MISTAKE.

That is A HUGE MISTAKE.

That is A HUGE MISTAKE. NOW it knows you're a sucker. That

NOW it knows you're a sucker. That

NOW it knows you're a sucker. That pigeon is going to bring its friends,

pigeon is going to bring its friends,

pigeon is going to bring its friends, it's going to move into your house, it's

it's going to move into your house, it's

it's going to move into your house, it's going to YOUR WIFE.

going to YOUR WIFE.

going to YOUR WIFE. THAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

THAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

THAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN. And all of this, the aggressive

And all of this, the aggressive

And all of this, the aggressive marketing, the creating wants, the

marketing, the creating wants, the

marketing, the creating wants, the swarming around a seller looking for

swarming around a seller looking for

swarming around a seller looking for repeat business can lead to some truly

repeat business can lead to some truly

repeat business can lead to some truly heartbreaking stories. Take Gary Davis,

heartbreaking stories. Take Gary Davis,

heartbreaking stories. Take Gary Davis, who was hit by a train and suffered a

who was hit by a train and suffered a

who was hit by a train and suffered a stroke that destroyed at least 25% of

stroke that destroyed at least 25% of

stroke that destroyed at least 25% of his brain. He received a two and a half

his brain. He received a two and a half

his brain. He received a two and a half million dollar settlement but wound up

million dollar settlement but wound up

million dollar settlement but wound up selling it off the vast majority of it

selling it off the vast majority of it

selling it off the vast majority of it to two companies including JG Wentworth.

to two companies including JG Wentworth.

to two companies including JG Wentworth. In fact, when the Minnesota Star Tribune

In fact, when the Minnesota Star Tribune

In fact, when the Minnesota Star Tribune looked into this industry, they found

looked into this industry, they found

looked into this industry, they found that Gary had sold more payments than

that Gary had sold more payments than

that Gary had sold more payments than anyone else in Minnesota, for which he

anyone else in Minnesota, for which he

anyone else in Minnesota, for which he received roughly 35 cents on the dollar.

received roughly 35 cents on the dollar.

received roughly 35 cents on the dollar. And when the paper's reporter explained

And when the paper's reporter explained

And when the paper's reporter explained that to Gary, you can watch him figure

that to Gary, you can watch him figure

that to Gary, you can watch him figure out in real time just what it meant.

out in real time just what it meant.

out in real time just what it meant. I gave them two-thirds and they gave me

I gave them two-thirds and they gave me

I gave them two-thirds and they gave me one-third.

one-third.

one-third. That's what happened. Mhm. Cuz they gave

That's what happened. Mhm. Cuz they gave

That's what happened. Mhm. Cuz they gave it to you immediately. The Oh.

it to you immediately. The Oh.

it to you immediately. The Oh. >> whole amount of money was what you were

>> whole amount of money was what you were

>> whole amount of money was what you were going to get for the rest of your life.

going to get for the rest of your life.

going to get for the rest of your life. And they said we'll give you a third

And they said we'll give you a third

And they said we'll give you a third today."

today."

today." But that's it.

But that's it.

But that's it. Mhm, that's not a good That's not even

Mhm, that's not a good That's not even

Mhm, that's not a good That's not even trade.

trade.

trade. No, you You sold about $2.3 million in

No, you You sold about $2.3 million in

No, you You sold about $2.3 million in payments for about $700,000.

payments for about $700,000.

payments for about $700,000. And that's about a third of what you

And that's about a third of what you

And that's about a third of what you would have gotten if you'd have waited

would have gotten if you'd have waited

would have gotten if you'd have waited for the money.

for the money.

for the money. That's no good.

That's no good.

That's no good. They should They should They should have

They should They should They should have

They should They should They should have somebody to keep you from doing stuff

somebody to keep you from doing stuff

somebody to keep you from doing stuff like that, don't you think? Yeah. Yeah,

like that, don't you think? Yeah. Yeah,

like that, don't you think? Yeah. Yeah, I do.

I do.

I do. Honestly, he just said in one sentence

Honestly, he just said in one sentence

Honestly, he just said in one sentence what I've been trying to say for the

what I've been trying to say for the

what I've been trying to say for the last 20 minutes.

last 20 minutes.

last 20 minutes. So, what do we do here? Well, when it

So, what do we do here? Well, when it

So, what do we do here? Well, when it comes to laws, there are a number of

comes to laws, there are a number of

comes to laws, there are a number of small fixes from simply requiring

small fixes from simply requiring

small fixes from simply requiring hearings take place where the seller

hearings take place where the seller

hearings take place where the seller actually lives to curbing how

actually lives to curbing how

actually lives to curbing how aggressively these companies can solicit

aggressively these companies can solicit

aggressively these companies can solicit sellers. Following some of the reporting

sellers. Following some of the reporting

sellers. Following some of the reporting that you've seen tonight, these two

that you've seen tonight, these two

that you've seen tonight, these two states recently did both. We could also

states recently did both. We could also

states recently did both. We could also require courts appoint what's called a

require courts appoint what's called a

require courts appoint what's called a guardian ad litem or attorney advisor in

guardian ad litem or attorney advisor in

guardian ad litem or attorney advisor in cases where a seller may not be able to

cases where a seller may not be able to

cases where a seller may not be able to fully understand the transaction. That

fully understand the transaction. That

fully understand the transaction. That advisor can then give the court more

advisor can then give the court more

advisor can then give the court more information about the seller's

information about the seller's

information about the seller's circumstances and could also say to the

circumstances and could also say to the

circumstances and could also say to the seller what you just saw that reporter

seller what you just saw that reporter

seller what you just saw that reporter say to Gary specifically, "They're going

say to Gary specifically, "They're going

say to Gary specifically, "They're going to take two thirds of your money. Are

to take two thirds of your money. Are

to take two thirds of your money. Are you sure you want to do this?"

you sure you want to do this?"

you sure you want to do this?" Judges in Albuquerque, New Mexico have

Judges in Albuquerque, New Mexico have

Judges in Albuquerque, New Mexico have started using this approach and one

started using this approach and one

started using this approach and one analysis found courts there had signed

analysis found courts there had signed

analysis found courts there had signed off on just 42%

off on just 42%

off on just 42% of the deals involving a guardian ad

of the deals involving a guardian ad

of the deals involving a guardian ad litem. And in many cases, judges never

litem. And in many cases, judges never

litem. And in many cases, judges never actually had to rule at all because the

actually had to rule at all because the

actually had to rule at all because the sellers withdrew their requests after

sellers withdrew their requests after

sellers withdrew their requests after meeting with one. And look, I do

meeting with one. And look, I do

meeting with one. And look, I do understand there are issues for those

understand there are issues for those

understand there are issues for those with disabilities being told they're not

with disabilities being told they're not

with disabilities being told they're not capable of making a decision for

capable of making a decision for

capable of making a decision for themselves. But to be very clear here,

themselves. But to be very clear here,

themselves. But to be very clear here, this will be a limited one-time

this will be a limited one-time

this will be a limited one-time arrangement just for the purposes of

arrangement just for the purposes of

arrangement just for the purposes of this sale.

this sale.

this sale. Now, as for individuals, let me just say

Now, as for individuals, let me just say

Now, as for individuals, let me just say this. If you have a structured

this. If you have a structured

this. If you have a structured settlement and you need cash now, if

settlement and you need cash now, if

settlement and you need cash now, if those Vikings suddenly appear on

those Vikings suddenly appear on

those Vikings suddenly appear on your TV, before you pick up the phone,

your TV, before you pick up the phone,

your TV, before you pick up the phone, there are a couple of key things to

there are a couple of key things to

there are a couple of key things to know. First, some insurance companies

know. First, some insurance companies

know. First, some insurance companies that manage settlements actually offer a

that manage settlements actually offer a

that manage settlements actually offer a hardship commutation that might in

hardship commutation that might in

hardship commutation that might in extenuating circumstances allow you to

extenuating circumstances allow you to

extenuating circumstances allow you to get some upfront cash at a better rate.

get some upfront cash at a better rate.

get some upfront cash at a better rate. So, I would try them first. But, also

So, I would try them first. But, also

So, I would try them first. But, also please know that this industry is just

please know that this industry is just

please know that this industry is just full of predators. And I know that they

full of predators. And I know that they

full of predators. And I know that they can seem benign. They have very slick

can seem benign. They have very slick

can seem benign. They have very slick ads that air constantly with some

ads that air constantly with some

ads that air constantly with some infuriatingly catchy jingles.

infuriatingly catchy jingles.

infuriatingly catchy jingles. But, they do not have your best

But, they do not have your best

But, they do not have your best interests at heart.

interests at heart.

interests at heart. So, to try and inoculate you against

So, to try and inoculate you against

So, to try and inoculate you against their charms going forward, we've

their charms going forward, we've

their charms going forward, we've actually made our own ad to give people

actually made our own ad to give people

actually made our own ad to give people a more accurate portrayal of the risks

a more accurate portrayal of the risks

a more accurate portrayal of the risks that this entire industry poses. So, the

that this entire industry poses. So, the

that this entire industry poses. So, the next time that a bunch of Vikings try

next time that a bunch of Vikings try

next time that a bunch of Vikings try and sing at you in the future, which

and sing at you in the future, which

and sing at you in the future, which they absolutely will,

they absolutely will,

they absolutely will, please try and think of this instead.

If you have a structured settlement and

If you have a structured settlement and

If you have a structured settlement and you're watching TV, [laughter]

you're watching TV, [laughter]

you're watching TV, [laughter] you might hear a song like this, so

you might hear a song like this, so

you might hear a song like this, so please listen to me.

please listen to me.

please listen to me. Please listen to him.

Please listen to him.

Please listen to him. They'll run me shitty ads all day, and

They'll run me shitty ads all day, and

They'll run me shitty ads all day, and when you finally call, they'll take your

when you finally call, they'll take your

when you finally call, they'll take your money bit by bit until they've got it

money bit by bit until they've got it

money bit by bit until they've got it all. Until they've got it all.

all. Until they've got it all.

all. Until they've got it all. We went to a judge, and he signed off on

We went to a judge, and he signed off on

We went to a judge, and he signed off on the sale. I'm still not sure why these

the sale. I'm still not sure why these

the sale. I'm still not sure why these AREN'T IN JAIL.

THE DEAL YOU TALKED ME INTO is much

THE DEAL YOU TALKED ME INTO is much

THE DEAL YOU TALKED ME INTO is much worse than it first appeared. I want to

worse than it first appeared. I want to

worse than it first appeared. I want to know what's going on, and why is there a

know what's going on, and why is there a

know what's going on, and why is there a Viking here? Why is there a Viking here?

Viking here? Why is there a Viking here?

Viking here? Why is there a Viking here? Why am I a Viking here?

Why am I a Viking here?

Why am I a Viking here? We really hope this jingle gets stuck

We really hope this jingle gets stuck

We really hope this jingle gets stuck inside your head. Remember that these

inside your head. Remember that these

inside your head. Remember that these businesses will bleed you till you're

businesses will bleed you till you're

businesses will bleed you till you're dead. Bleed you till you're dead.

dead. Bleed you till you're dead.

dead. Bleed you till you're dead. It's your money. Don't let [music] these

It's your money. Don't let [music] these

It's your money. Don't let [music] these parasites get their hands on it.

parasites get their hands on it.

parasites get their hands on it. They'll bleed you till you're dead.

They'll bleed you till you're dead.

They'll bleed you till you're dead. They'll bleed you till you're dead.

They'll bleed you till you're dead.

They'll bleed you till you're dead. They'll bleed you till you're dead.

They'll bleed you till you're dead.

They'll bleed you till you're dead. They'll bleed you till

>> [screaming]

>> [screaming]

>> [screaming] [applause]

[applause]

[applause] [cheering]

>> That's our show. Thank you so much for

>> That's our show. Thank you so much for

>> That's our show. Thank you so much for watching. We're off next week, back on

watching. We're off next week, back on

watching. We're off next week, back on May 31st. Please enjoy Colbert's final

May 31st. Please enjoy Colbert's final

May 31st. Please enjoy Colbert's final shows. HE'S THE BEST.

shows. HE'S THE BEST.

shows. HE'S THE BEST. >> [screaming]

>> [screaming]

>> [screaming] >> GOOD NIGHT [cheering] AND GOOD LUCK,

>> GOOD NIGHT [cheering] AND GOOD LUCK,