Original subtitles

Erica: THE LIFE THAT I'M LIVING IS PATHETIC.

IT'S DISGUSTING, AND I'M GOING TO DIE VERY SOON.

Man: NOT FOR ONE MINUTE THAT I THOUGHT MY LIFE

WOULD END UP LIKE THIS.

OW! MY LEGS!

Ashley: I'M SO FAR GONE.

Woman #1: I ABSOLUTELY NEED HELP,

OR I AM GONNA DIE.

-I CAN'T DO THIS. -I'M RIGHT UNDER YOU.

-[ Crying ] I NEED OVER! -YOU'RE FINE. YOU'RE FINE.

Woman #2: I FEEL LIKE I LET MY KIDS DOWN.

INSTEAD OF ME TAKING CARE OF THEM,

THEY'VE BEEN TAKING CARE OF ME.

IT'S YOU -- YOU ARE THE ONE KILLING HIM.

Erica: I HAVE TO TAKE THIS RISK NOW.

AND I CAN EITHER DIE TRYING OR I CAN JUST DIE IN BED.

-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

IT'S HARD TO MAKE A CHOICE TO FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE

WHEN YOU'VE GIVEN UP ON IT FOR SO LONG.

AND IT'S EVEN HARDER

WHEN EVERYONE ELSE HAS GIVEN UP ON YOU.

I AM COMPLETELY MISERABLE EVERY DAY.

I FEEL LIKE ANY TIME

THAT I CLOSE MY EYES AND GO TO SLEEP,

I'M NOT GONNA WAKE UP.

AND EVERY TIME THAT I DO WAKE UP,

I'M JUST AS SURPRISED AS EVERYONE ELSE.

AND AS SOON AS I GET UP,

MY BODY GETS SO STARVING AND SO HUNGRY

THAT I JUST HAVE TO EAT.

BUT SOME DAYS, I FEEL LIKE A TICKING TIME BOMB...

[ GROANS ]

...BECAUSE OF HOW EXCRUCIATING THE PAIN IS.

MY BACK HURTS. MY LEGS HURT.

AND I HAVE A STOMACH THAT HANGS TO MY KNEES

AND LYMPHEDEMA EVERYWHERE.

SO WALKING IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME,

AND THE ONLY PLACES THAT I CAN GO IN MY HOUSE

ARE MY BED, THE TOILET, AND THE KITCHEN.

SO NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS,

I HAVE TO GET FOOD AND EAT IT IN MY BEDROOM.

THERE'S NOTHING BETTER

THAN TO HAVE THAT SOMETHING SWEET

FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

FEELS SO GOOD.

JUST LETS ME KNOW THAT MY DAY IS GONNA BE OKAY.

BECAUSE I'M SO BIG, I CAN'T REALLY GO OUT,

SO I FEEL EXTREMELY ISOLATED

AND CUT OFF FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD.

THE ONLY FAMILY MEMBER I GET TO SEE ON A CONSISTENT BASIS

IS MY NIECE, JESSIE.

SHE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT COMES AND HELPS ME,

TAKES CARE OF ME.

-HEY. -HEY.

GOOD TO START YOUR SHOWER?

-YES. -OKAY.

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN CONCERNED ABOUT ERICA'S WEIGHT.

AND WHERE SHE IS RIGHT NOW,

SHE'S DEPENDENT ON ME.

BASICALLY, I'M ERICA'S MAIN CARETAKER RIGHT NOW.

LEG. READY?

NO.

THERE YOU GO.

[ GROANS ]

TAKING A SHOWER IS SO PHYSICALLY DEMANDING AND EXHAUSTING.

IT TAKES EVERYTHING OUT OF ME.

AND THE WHOLE RITUAL OF IT IS TRAUMATIC.

BUT WHEN I TAKE A SHOWER,

IT'S THE ONLY TIME THAT I FEEL CLEAN

BECAUSE THERE'S ALL THESE NASTY BLISTERS

AND DEAD SKIN AND FOLDS,

AND THEY'RE VERY HARD TO KEEP CLEAN.

I HATE EVERY PART OF MY MASSIVE BODY.

IT MAKES DOING THE SIMPLEST THINGS DIFFICULT.

BUT NOBODY HAS EVER WIPED ME,

AND NOBODY HAS EVER BATHED ME.

BUT IT'S RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.

I HATE MY LIFE.

YAH!

OW! GAH!

I'M NOT EVEN LIVING.

AND I NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS

BELIEVED THAT MY LIFE WOULD END UP LIKE THIS.

FOOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN A BIG PART OF MY LIFE.

I'M THE OLDEST OF THREE KIDS.

I HAVE A YOUNGER SISTER AND BROTHER,

AND THERE WAS REALLY NO CONTROL

OVER OUR EATING.

MY PARENTS NEVER TOLD ME TO STOP WHEN I WAS REALLY YOUNG,

SO I JUST ATE WHEN I WANTED.

Robert: WE HAD LOTS OF HIGH-CALORIE FOOD IN OUR HOUSE.

MY MOM WOULD COOK BIG MEALS EVERY -- EVERY NIGHT.

FRIED CHICKEN ONCE A WEEK. ICE CREAM ON TAP.

SO I DON'T THINK ERICA REALLY PRACTICED DIETING

WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER.

Erica: I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT MY WEIGHT UNTIL I WAS 12.

I WAS AROUND 200 POUNDS THEN,

AND THE KIDS AT SCHOOL WOULD TEASE ME.

THEY WOULD SAY THINGS AND CALL ME NAMES.

BUT NONE OF IT WOULD HURT AS MUCH

AS WHEN MY FATHER WOULD TEASE ME.

HE WOULD SAY SOME REALLY HURTFUL THINGS.

HE ALWAYS SAID, "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL?

SHE WENT TO SLEEP ONE NIGHT, AND SHE WOKE UP GODZILLA."

I FELT ABANDONED AND NEGLECTED BY MY FATHER.

I JUST WANTED MY DAD TO TELL ME HE LOVED ME

AND THAT HE WASN'T DISAPPOINTED THAT I WAS HIS DAUGHTER.

BUT FOOD WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME, SO I KEPT EATING.

AND I GOT BIGGER AND BIGGER.

Robert: I THINK THAT MY DAD --

MAYBE HE WAS EMBARRASSED

OF HIS OLDEST DAUGHTER BEING OVERWEIGHT

AND WANTED TO CHANGE THAT.

Erica: I KEPT GAINING INTO HIGH SCHOOL,

AND I HIT 300 POUNDS.

AND THE BIGGER I GOT,

THE MORE MY FATHER SHARED HIS DISAPPOINTMENT IN ME.

BUT THAT DIDN'T MATTER WHEN I WAS EATING.

FOOD MADE ME HAPPY.

BUT THEN SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED TO ME WHEN I WAS 16,

AND MY LIFE TOTALLY CHANGED FOREVER.

I HAD STARTED SEEING SOMEONE.

AND ONE NIGHT,

MY BOYFRIEND TOOK ME OUT TO SOME HOUSE

IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.

BUT WHEN WE GOT THERE, HIS BEST FRIEND, HIS COUSIN,

AND THREE OTHER PEOPLE -- THEY'RE ALL THERE DRINKING BEER.

I THOUGHT IT WAS VERY STRANGE.

MY BOYFRIEND TOOK ME INTO A ROOM,

AND I HAD SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH HIM.

THAT NIGHT, I ONLY SAID YES TO MY BOYFRIEND.

I DID NOT SAY YES TO HIS BEST FRIEND

OR HIS COUSIN OR THE THREE FRIENDS AFTER THAT.

MY FIRST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE WAS...

A GANG RAPE.

AFTER THE RAPE, I TOLD MY MOM.

SHE WAS ANGRY.

SHE WAS CRYING.

IT WAS TOO MUCH FOR HER TO HEAR.

I BEGGED HER NOT TO TELL MY DAD.

AND TO THIS DAY, I DON'T THINK HE KNOWS.

I WAS SO AFRAID HE'D FIND OUT.

AND ALL THAT PAIN AND FEAR INSIDE ME

JUST MADE ME WANT TO EAT,

BECAUSE WHEN I ATE, ALL THAT WENT AWAY.

SO, I GAINED 100 POUNDS IN A VERY SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.

AND MY FATHER DIDN'T KNOW WHY,

SO HE WOULD REMIND ME EVERY DAY HOW BIG I WAS GETTING.

MY MOM KNEW WHAT HAD HAPPENED

AND WHY I WAS SO DEPRESSED

AND CONSTANTLY RUNNING TO FOOD.

SHE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO HELP, BUT SHE WANTED TO TRY SOMETHING.

SO SHE GOT MY STOMACH STAPLED WHEN I WAS 17.

AFTER I HAD THAT SURGERY, I BRIEFLY LOST WEIGHT.

BUT IT WASN'T TOO LONG

BEFORE I STARTED GAINING WEIGHT RAPIDLY AGAIN,

AND I BLEW MY STAPLE LINE OUT

FROM MY STOMACH-STAPLING SURGERY.

I HAD TO GO IN FOR ANOTHER SURGERY

SO THAT THEY COULD REPAIR MY STOMACH.

BUT I HAD DONE SO MUCH DAMAGE

THAT THEY COULDN'T PUT MY STAPLES BACK

IN EXACTLY THE SAME WAY,

SO IT WASN'T EFFECTIVE ANYMORE.

AND I JUST STARTED EATING AGAIN.

IT MADE MY MOM VERY SAD,

BECAUSE SHE KNEW THAT I WAS NOT HAPPY.

SHE WAS CONSTANTLY TRYING TO THINK OF EVERYTHING

AND ANYTHING TO HELP ME

SO THAT I COULD BE HER HAPPY DAUGHTER AGAIN.

SHE NEVER GAVE UP ON ME.

SHE WAS ALWAYS THERE TO SUPPORT ME AND LOVE ME.

BUT A FEW YEARS AGO, MY MOM GOT IN A CAR WRECK

AND SHE WAS BEING KEPT ALIVE BY A VENTILATOR.

WHEN THE FAMILY REALIZED SHE WASN'T GONNA MAKE IT,

THEY WENT TO SAY GOODBYE,

AND EVERYONE WAS ABLE TO KISS HER GOODBYE.

AND WHEN IT WAS MY TIME

TO SAY GOODBYE TO HER,

I DID NOT WANT TO LEAN DOWN

AND UNPLUG ANY OF THE MACHINES ON ACCIDENT

BECAUSE OF THE SIZE OF MY MASSIVE BODY.

SO I MADE THE DECISION TO JUST HOLD HER HAND.

THAT IS THE BIGGEST REGRET,

AND IT'LL HAUNT ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE

THAT I WAS NOT ABLE TO SAY GOODBYE TO MY MOM

THE WAY THAT SHE NEEDED ME TO AND THE WAY THAT I NEEDED TO.

MY MOM, NO MATTER WHAT, WAS ALWAYS HOPEFUL AND POSITIVE.

AND I TRY SO HARD TO CARRY THAT ON FROM HER,

BUT MOST DAYS, IT'S JUST PAIN --

EMOTIONAL, MENTAL, AND PHYSICAL, ALL OF IT.

AND THE ONLY RELIEF I GET IS WHEN I EAT,

BUT I CAN'T GET FOOD MYSELF

SO I HAVE TO GET JESSIE TO HELP ME.

JESSIE?

ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE BACK.

THANK YOU.

I HAVE NOT BEEN TO THE GROCERY STORE

OR ANY STORE IN FIVE OR SIX YEARS.

SO WHEN JESSIE BRINGS ME MY GROCERIES,

IT'S MY ONE CHANCE FOR THAT WEEK

TO GET EVERYTHING I NEED TO SURVIVE.

Jessie: I WORRY ABOUT ERICA

BECAUSE MY DAD AND MY AUNT MOLLY DON'T GO SEE HER.

NO ONE REALLY DOES.

SO I GO OVER TO HELP HER CLEAN UP

AND DO WHAT SHE NEEDS AND GET HER GROCERIES.

BUT SHE PUTS A LOT OF STUFF

SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE ON HER GROCERY LIST.

SOMETIMES SHE PUTS CHIPS ON THE LIST

WHEN I KNOW SHE HAS FIVE BAGS AT HOME.

BUT I DO GET THEM FOR HER

BECAUSE SHE WOULD GET REALLY UPSET

IF I DIDN'T COME BACK WITH SOMETHING.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

SEEING AND KNOWING

THAT ERICA IS GAINING MORE WEIGHT

IS REALLY HARD AND SAD.

BUT I KIND OF FEEL LIKE I'M TRAPPED,

'CAUSE I WANT TO HELP, BUT THIS ISN'T HELPING.

Erica: I KNOW I CANNOT KEEP LIVING THIS WAY.

THERE'S ENOUGH FOOD IN THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW

TO FEED A FAMILY OF FOUR

FOR PROBABLY THREE MONTHS STRAIGHT.

I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN HOW IT'S GOTTEN SO OUT OF CONTROL.

Jessie: I REALLY WANT ERICA

TO GET ON TRACK AND BECOME HEALTHY,

BECAUSE HER BODY CAN'T GET MUCH BIGGER

AND I'M AT MY BREAKING POINT WITH THIS.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

-NEXT WEEK. -YES.

I CAN'T BE A PART OF HER SLOWLY DYING ANYMORE.

Erica: TODAY, MY SISTER MOLLY IS COMING OVER

BECAUSE I WANNA GO TO HOUSTON TO TRY AND SEE DR. NOWZARADAN.

I CAN'T GO DOWN ON MY OWN,

AND I CAN'T STAY THERE WITHOUT SOMEONE TO HELP ME.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

SO SHE'S MY ONLY HOPE,

BECAUSE JESSIE HAS SCHOOL AND SHE CAN'T DO IT.

BUT I'M NERVOUS, BECAUSE SHE'S NEVER SEEN MY APARTMENT

AND IT NEVER GOES WELL WHEN I SEE HER.

OH, BOY.

Molly: I CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW SHE LIVES THIS WAY.

ERICA IS MENTALLY ILL. HMM.

HER APARTMENT IS DISGUSTING.

SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH HER.

HI, MOLLY.

WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ALL THAT FOOD?

IT'S JUST THERE.

YOU TELL ME THAT YOU EAT VERY LITTLE,

BUT OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T.

YOUR LEG IS ALMOST SWALLOWING UP YOUR TOES.

ERICA, LOOK AT HOW BAD THIS IS.

YES, IT'S VERY...BAD.

I DON'T WANNA SEE THAT.

YOU NEED HELP.

I FOUND A DOCTOR THAT MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP ME.

SO, HOW COME NOW?

BECAUSE I DON'T WANNA DIE.

AND I DON'T KNOW WHEN PEOPLE'S ROCK BOTTOMS COME,

BUT THIS IS MINE.

SO, WHERE'S THIS DOCTOR AT?

HE'S IN HOUSTON.

-TEXAS? -YES.

-YOU LIVE HERE. -YES.

WITHOUT SOMEONE GOING AND LIVING WITH ME,

I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO GO.

ERICA, I CAN'T LEAVE MY FAMILY.

I KNOW. I KNOW.

SO, THAT'S NOT HAPPENING.

I NEED TO GET GOING.

I GOTTA GO TO WORK.

I NEVER GET TO SEE YOU.

I KNOW. I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.

ERICA, EAT THE YOGURT, NOT THE PIE.

-I'M GONNA TAKE THE PIE WITH ME. -NO!

-GOODBYE. -PLEASE DO NOT.

Molly: SHE'S AN EMBARRASSMENT,

AND I HOPE THAT SHE GETS THE HELP THAT SHE NEEDS

SO THAT SHE CAN BE A PART OF OUR FAMILY.

IF SHE WANTS IT THAT BAD, SHE CAN FIGURE IT OUT.

Erica: I JUST FEEL LIKE I'M IN THIS FIGHT ALL ON MY OWN.

IF I CAN'T GET HELP RIGHT NOW, I KNOW I'M GONNA DIE SOON.

BUT I STILL CAN'T STOP.

I HAVE THE MOST UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD.

I USE IT JUST LIKE A DRUG,

SO IF I'M FEELING REALLY SAD,

WORRIED, DISAPPOINTED,

I BINGE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN.

MY FOOD ADDICTION IS ABSOLUTELY KILLING ME.

A VERY SLOW, AGONIZING, PAINFUL DEATH.

I MADE A PROMISE TO MY MOM THAT I WAS GOING TO DO

EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING THAT I COULD TO GET HEALTHY,

BECAUSE THAT'S ALL SHE EVER WANTED.

IT'S BEEN TWO AND A HALF YEARS SINCE SHE WAS KILLED,

AND I HAVE NOT KEPT THAT PROMISE.

INSTEAD, I HAVE GAINED 200 POUNDS.

I'VE WASTED SO MANY YEARS OF MY LIFE,

AND I'M WORRIED THAT MY TIME IS RUNNING OUT.

AND IF I DON'T MAKE THE CHANGE

THAT IS NEEDED RIGHT NOW,

I'M GOING TO LOSE EVERYTHING.

**

[ GROANING ]

AFTER MY SISTER TOLD ME

SHE WASN'T GOING TO HELP ME GO TO HOUSTON

TO TRY AND GET HELP,

I WAS SO DEPRESSED.

I DIDN'T STOP EATING FOR A WHILE AFTER SHE LEFT.

AND I KNOW I'VE LET HER DOWN SO MANY TIMES BEFORE,

BUT I'M DESPERATE RIGHT NOW.

SO I'VE BEEN CALLING HER AND BEGGING HER.

I HAVE TO GET HELP NOW.

SHE WAS GOING TO TALK IT OVER WITH HER HUSBAND

AND LET ME KNOW TOMORROW,

AND I'M HOPING THE ANSWER IS YES

BECAUSE I HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE HELP ME DO THIS.

I TALKED TO MY SISTER,

AND SHE HAS AGREED TO TAKE ME TO HOUSTON,

BUT SHE STILL WON'T STAY WITH ME

OR HELP ME GET SITUATED DOWN THERE.

SHE SAID SHE AND HER HUSBAND

WILL GO DOWN WITH ME TO JUST HELP ME GET THERE,

BUT SHE WON'T DRIVE ME

BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANNA BE IN A CAR THAT LONG.

SHE WANTS TO FLY.

AND IT'S BEEN ALMOST 20 YEARS SINCE I'VE BEEN ON A PLANE.

I'M EXTREMELY NERVOUS ABOUT MY TRIP.

I'M NOT QUITE SURE HOW IT'S GONNA BE

TO BE ABLE TO TAKE A SHOWER AT THE HOTEL,

SO IN ORDER FOR ME TO STAY CLEAN,

I NEED ALL OF THESE CLEANSING CLOTHS.

MOST PEOPLE DON'T HAVE TO PACK THAT TYPE OF STUFF.

MOLLY IS COMING IN THE MORNING WITH HER HUSBAND TO GET ME,

AND WE'LL GO TO THE AIRPORT.

I'M SO EXTREMELY NERVOUS.

I DON'T HAVE A MONTH TO WAIT. OR TWO MONTHS OR NEXT YEAR.

IT'S NOW OR NEVER.

-HI, MOLLY. -HI.

OH, BOY.

TODAY IS THE DAY THAT I TAKE THE BIG TRIP TO SEE THE DOCTOR.

ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.

I'M NERVOUS ABOUT HOW PHYSICALLY DEMANDING IT'S GONNA BE...

SERIOUSLY? YOU NEED TO SIT?

...AND VERY NERVOUS ABOUT BEING IN PUBLIC WITH SO MANY PEOPLE.

Molly: THE WHOLE THING'S GONNA BE A CHALLENGE.

JUST TRYING TO GET HER IN THE CAR FROM HERE,

TRYING TO GET HER ON AN AIRPLANE.

SHE'S VERY BIG.

EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE A CHALLENGE.

THIS IS GONNA BE ROUGH.

-PUT YOUR FOOT IN. -I CA--

I HOPE THIS IS A CHANCE FOR HER TO FIX THINGS AND CHANGE THINGS.

ARE WE SITTING BACK DOWN? OKAY.

BUT I'M SKEPTICAL.

EVEN IF WE GET THERE AND EVERYTHING HAPPENS,

I DON'T TRUST THAT SHE WILL SUCCEED AT THIS MOMENT

'CAUSE SHE NEVER HAS.

-JUST GET IN. START. -[ BLEEP ]

[BLEEP] [BLEEP]

Erica: THE LIFE THAT I'M LIVING RIGHT NOW IS PATHETIC.

IT'S DISGUSTING. IT'S NONSTOP WEAKNESS.

Molly: KEEP GOING.

[ GRUNTING ]

MY MOM WAS THE STRONGEST PERSON

THAT I HAD EVER KNOWN IN MY ENTIRE LIFETIME.

OW!

I DO NOT WANT TO GO ANOTHER DAY

NOT FULFILLING THAT PROMISE TO MY MOM.

THAT OUTWEIGHS THE FEAR OF WHAT'S TO COME.

Molly: IS IT TOO LATE TO ABORT THIS PLAN?

MY LIFE HAS TO CHANGE,

AND I'M DESPERATE RIGHT NOW.

BUT I'M SCARED THAT I WON'T BE ABLE TO DO IT

OR THAT I'M BEYOND HELP.

BUT I KNOW IF I GIVE INTO THE FEAR RIGHT NOW

AND GO BACK HOME,

THAT WOULD BE A DEATH SENTENCE FOR ME.

I'D BE CHOOSING TO GO HOME AND DIE.

SO MATTER HOW SCARY THIS GETS, I CAN'T TURN BACK.

I JUST HOPE THAT I'M PHYSICALLY ABLE TO MAKE IT

AND THAT I CAN FIT DOWN THE AISLE AND IN THE SEATS.

I KNOW THE RISK I'M TAKING RIGHT NOW,

BECAUSE THE DOCTOR TOLD ME

IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA TO TRAVEL WITHOUT MEDICAL CARE

OR TO FLY RIGHT NOW BECAUSE OF MY LEGS

AND THE POSSIBILITY OF BLOOD CLOTS.

BUT THIS IS MY ONLY CHANCE. I HAVE NO OTHER OPTIONS.

I'M DOING THIS SO I HAVE A CHANCE TO LIVE,

BUT NOW THAT I'M HERE, IT'S SO MUCH SCARIER.

IT FEELS LIKE EVERYONE IS WATCHING ME,

AND THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING.

RIGHT BEHIND YOU, MISS. BEEP, BEEP!

I'M SORRY.

HOW DID I GET TO THIS POINT

WHERE I'M LIKE A SIDE SHOW TO PEOPLE?

THEY HAVE TO CART ME PAST EVERYONE

JUST TO MAKE SURE I CAN FIT.

I DESPERATELY HOPE I DON'T HAVE TO COME BACK OUT

AND GO PAST EVERYONE AGAIN

BECAUSE I CAN'T EVEN FIT ON A PLANE.

THEY'VE ALREADY MADE ME BUY A WHOLE AISLE OF THREE SEATS

BECAUSE OF MY SIZE.

Molly: KEEP GOING. ERICA, PICK UP.

Erica: THAT ALONE IS HUMILIATING.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

I'M JUST SO HAPPY I FIT,

BUT I STILL HAVE THE WHOLE PLANE RIDE TO GET THROUGH,

AND I'M TERRIFIED.

IT'S GONNA BE OVER THREE AND A HALF HOURS,

AND I KNOW IT'S DANGEROUS

FOR SOMEONE MY SIZE TO TRAVEL IN THE AIR.

SO I'M JUST SO AFRAID RIGHT NOW

THAT SOMETHING'S STILL GOING TO HAPPEN

AND I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT.

**

Man: ON THREE. ONE, TWO, THREE.

-I GOTTA GET UP. -KEEP GOING.

OKAY. LEGS THERE.

OKAY, WE'RE THERE.

-YOU GOT IT. YOU GOT IT. -THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

Molly: YOU ALL RIGHT?

YOU OKAY?

Erica: WE FINALLY MADE IT TO HOUSTON,

AND I'M SO GLAD TO BE HERE AND OFF THE PLANE.

IT WAS SO DIFFICULT TO SIT IN THAT SEAT FOR SO LONG.

NOW ALL I WANNA DO IS GET TO THE HOTEL,

AND I'M HOPING I CAN FIT ON THE BED THERE.

OKAY.

AH!

ALL I WANNA DO IS LAY DOWN BECAUSE I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN.

I DIDN'T THINK THAT I WAS GONNA MAKE IT,

SO I'M ACTUALLY PRETTY SHOCKED THAT I DID.

THIS IS NOT -- I'M GONNA FALL.

-OW! -YOU'RE NOT FALLING.

I'M FEELING VERY SORE, VERY SWOLLEN AND WEAK,

AND I'M EXHAUSTED.

IF I HAD KNOWN HOW HARD THIS WAS GOING TO BE,

I'M NOT SURE I WOULD'VE DONE IT.

I JUST CAN'T BE UP MUCH LONGER,

BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO PASS OUT FROM THE PAIN.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I MADE IT.

I HAVEN'T GONE THIS FAR OR DONE THIS MUCH IN SO LONG.

I'M COMPLETELY WIPED OUT RIGHT NOW

AND JUST WANNA GO TO BED AND END THIS DAY.

TOMORROW I SEE THE DOCTOR,

AND I HOPE HE CAN HELP AND THAT THIS WASN'T ALL FOR NOTHING.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM, ERICA?

I NEED TO -- I DO.

YOU WANT ME TO GO CHECK THE BATHROOM

AND MAKE SURE IT'S ACCESSIBLE?

Molly: I REALLY DON'T KNOW IF SHE'S GONNA MAKE IT.

THAT'S MY CONCERN AT THIS MOMENT.

WE BARELY GOT OFF THE FLIGHT.

HER LEGS GAVE OUT ON HER WHEN SHE WAS GETTING UP.

THE BEGINNING WENT FINE,

BUT IT WAS GETTING OUT THAT WAS VERY DIFFICULT.

YEP. ALL RIGHT.

Dr. Nowzaradan: This is Dr. Nowzaradan.

HI DR. NOW. HOW ARE YOU?

I WENT TO THE BATHROOM WHEN I GOT INTO THE HOTEL ROOM,

AND MY URINE IS BRIGHT RED.

AND IT'S NOT --

IT'S NOT ANYTHING FROM, LIKE, MENSTRUAL OR PERIOD.

IT'S IN THE URINE.

That's bad, so...

-OKAY. -All right.

-THANK YOU. -Sure.

OKAY. BYE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG, AND I'M SO SCARED RIGHT NOW.

I HOPE I DIDN'T DO TOO MUCH,

AND I DIDN'T WAIT UNTIL MY BODY WAS SO BAD OFF

THAT TRYING TO COME HERE TO GET HELP

PUSHED ME OVER THE LIMIT,

AND THAT SOMETHING IS REALLY WRONG WITH ME

OR THAT I'M ABOUT TO DIE.

I JUST WANNA GET THERE AND FIND OUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME.

Dr. Nowzaradan: ERICA CAME FROM CALIFORNIA

AND HAD A LONG TRIP,

AND WHEN SHE GOT IN THE HOTEL

SHE SAID SHE'S HAVING BLOOD IN HER URINE.

THAT KIND OF TRAVEL FOR SOMEBODY OVER 600 POUNDS

IS TREMENDOUS STRAIN ON THE HEART AND LUNG

AND CAN CREATE A LIFE-THREATENING SITUATION.

BUT AIR TRAVEL CAN BE EVEN MORE DANGEROUS.

THE LOWER ATMOSPHERIC PRESSURE

CAN CAUSE A LOT OF ISSUES IN HER BODY.

SO WE NEED TO RUN OUR TESTS AND EXAMINE HER QUICKLY

TO FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HER.

[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]

IT'S ALL RIGHT. WE CAN GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD.

AND IT CAN BE CAUSED BY

A BLOOD CLOT CUTTING OFF THE BLOOD FLOW TO HER LIMBS.

THANK YOU, GUYS.

IF THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING,

HER BODY CANNOT TAKE THE STRAIN FOR TOO LONG.

LET ME LISTEN TO YOUR HEART AND MAKE SURE EVERYTHING'S OKAY.

AND IN HER CONDITION,

CARDIAC ARREST CAN HAPPEN ANY TIME,

AND WE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO SAVE HER IF THAT HAPPENS.

**

Erica: I'M REALLY HOPING THAT THE DOCTOR CAN HELP ME,

'CAUSE I REALLY DON'T FEEL LIKE I HAVE ANY OTHER OPTIONS LEFT.

BUT THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN IS HIM TELLING ME

THAT I'M NOT GOING TO BE A CANDIDATE

FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

-HELLO. -HI, DR. NOW.

-HOW YOU DOING? -I'M OKAY.

ARE YOU FEELING BETTER?

I'M FEELING A LITTLE BETTER TODAY.

DID THEY GIVE YOU SOME FOOD TO EAT TODAY?

-MM-HMM. -AND HOW WAS THAT?

IT'S OKAY. IT WAS OKAY.

IS THAT THE TYPE OF FOOD THAT YOU LIKE?

NO.

A LOT OF CARBS AND SUGAR, ALL DAY, EVERYDAY.

AND SO, WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT IF IT'S KILLING YOU?

IT'S JUST ALL THE FOOD THAT I LOVE.

YOU'RE EATING THIS STUFF,

AND YOU KNOW FOR A FACT THAT IT'S GONNA HARM YOU.

I'M A HARD-CORE FOOD ADDICT,

AND I NEED HELP TO STOP EATING LIKE THAT.

IT'S OUT OF CONTROL.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "OUT OF CONTROL"?

-THIS IS A CHOICE YOU'RE MAKING. -I KNOW THIS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "OUT OF CONTROL"?

FOOD ADDICTION IS A CHOICE, OKAY?

AND IF YOU DON'T WANNA BE 600 POUNDS,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO MAKE THE CHANGES.

Dr. Nowzaradan: ERICA HAS HAD A PATHOLOGICAL DRIVE TO EAT

FOR A LONG TIME NOW.

ACCORDING TO HER MEDICAL HISTORY,

SHE ALREADY HAD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY

WHEN SHE WAS 16 AND IT FAILED

BECAUSE SHE STILL ATE WHATEVER SHE WANTED

AND BLEW THE STAPLES OUT.

THE ODDS OF LONG-TERM SUCCESS FOR A PATIENT HER SIZE

IS VERY LOW,

BUT THE PROBABILITY IS EVEN WORSE

IF THEY ALREADY HAD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

YOU ALREADY HAD ONE WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

-RIGHT. -AND THAT DIDN'T WORK.

THE PREVIOUS WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY --

I WAS WAY TO YOUNG AND IMMATURE TO HAVE SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

NOW THAT YOU'RE AN ADULT AND MATURE,

YOU'RE STILL NOT FOLLOWING WHAT THE COMMON SENSE WOULD DO.

YOU NEED TO MAKE THE CHANGES.

AT THIS POINT, UNLESS WE GET A HANDLE ON EATING HABIT,

THERE IS NO CHANCE THAT

ANY KIND OF SURGERY'S GONNA RECORRECT YOU.

SO DON'T FROWN ON THE DIET THAT WE'VE GIVEN YOU.

THIS IS GONNA BE YOUR DIET FROM THIS POINT ON.

OKAY.

YOU SAID THAT YOUR SISTER IS GOING BACK HOME

AND YOU HAVE NO ONE ELSE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU.

YES.

YOU ARE IN TOO POOR A CONDITION TO BE ON YOUR OWN,

SO WE'RE GONNA KEEP YOU HERE FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS

TO HELP YOU RECOVER FROM TRAVEL.

THEN I'M SENDING YOU BACK TO CALIFORNIA

AND WE'RE GONNA CONCENTRATE

ON GETTING YOU ON A 1,200-CALORIE DIET AT HOME.

SO, NO SUGARY DRINK.

THERE'LL BE VERY LITTLE CARB,

AND IF YOU STICK WITH THE DIET THAT WE GIVE YOU,

YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO LOSE

AT LEAST 50 POUNDS IN FIRST MONTH.

Dr. Nowzaradan: IT'S GOING TO BE VERY DIFFICULT

TO CHANGE THINGS WITH ERICA.

SHE HAS THAT HISTORY OF NONCOMPLIANCE WITH HER EATING

BECAUSE SHE'S MOTIVATED BY THE IDEA OF CHANGE

BUT NOT REALLY READY TO DO THE HARD WORK.

I NEED TO GIVE THEM A WAKE-UP CALL

SO SHE AND HER FAMILY FULLY UNDERSTAND

THEY NEED TO BE COMMITTED TO THIS.

WE'RE GONNA CHECK YOUR WEIGHT.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU CAN GET UP OUT OF THE BED

AND STAND UP?

YES. ALL RIGHT?

Molly: I THINK IT'LL BE VERY DIFFICULT FOR ERICA

TO GIVE UP FOOD,

SWEETS, CARBS.

I'M WORRIED SHE WON'T SUCCEED,

BECAUSE SHE NEVER HAS BEFORE.

BUT SHE'S GONNA DIE IF SHE DOESN'T.

ALL RIGHT, SO...

661.

Erica: I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I LET THIS HAPPEN TO MYSELF,

BUT I'VE JUST BEEN IN DENIAL FOR MANY, MANY YEARS.

SO, NOW WE KNOW YOUR REAL WEIGHT.

YOU'RE 661 POUNDS,

AND THIS IS A LOT OF WEIGHT.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO MAKE SOME CHANGES, OKAY?

AT THIS POINT, I DON'T SEE A SINCERE WILLINGNESS FROM ERICA

TO CHANGE HER EATING HABIT.

UNLESS SHE HAVE A CHANGE OF ATTITUDE,

SHE'S NOT GONNA BE A CANDIDATE FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

ALL RIGHT. I WILL SEE YOU LATER.

THANKS, DR. NOW.

Erica: THIS WAS NOT WHAT I WAS HOPING TO HEAR TODAY,

AND I'M FREAKING OUT A LITTLE.

WITHOUT A DOUBT,

I'M WORRIED ABOUT FAILING ON AN EPIC LEVEL.

SO, MY ONLY CHANCE IS TO LOSE THE 50 POUNDS

HE SAYS I HAVE TO LOSE.

I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GOING TO DO THIS AT ALL,

BUT IT'S GONNA BE THE MOST DIFFICULT THING

I'VE EVER DONE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

[ DOG BARKING ]

I'VE BEEN BACK HOME FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS.

THE HOSPITAL STAY WAS HARD.

I DIDN'T LIKE BEING THERE FOR SO LONG,

AND I WAS GLAD TO GET OUT.

BUT AS SOON AS I GOT HOME, I WAS REALLY FRUSTRATED

BECAUSE JESSIE HAD CLEANED OUT

ALL THE JUNK FOOD IN MY WHOLE HOUSE.

SHE SAID IF I WAS SERIOUS ABOUT THIS,

I DON'T NEED ALL THAT.

AND SHE WON'T BRING ME ANYTHING I LIKE,

SO I'M REALLY ANGRY ABOUT THAT.

BUT I DISCOVERED I CAN DO FOOD DELIVERY,

AND I'VE BEEN ORDERING WHATEVER I WANT.

BUT MY SISTER FOUND OUT AND TOLD DR. NOW ABOUT IT,

AND HE WASN'T HAPPY.

SO HE'S SENDING A NUTRITIONIST TO MEET WITH ME TODAY

AND HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT I SHOULD BE EATING BETTER.

AND IF I HAVE A LOT OF JUNK FOOD,

HE SAID SHE'S PROBABLY GOING TO CLEAN IT ALL OUT,

AND I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO ANY OF THAT AT ALL.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

COME IN!

HI, ERICA. I'M SUSAN. NICE TO MEET YOU.

-NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO. -HOW ARE YOU DOING?

-NICE. -GREAT.

OKAY, SO, DID THE DOCTOR GIVE YOU A SPECIAL DIET

TO BE ON BEFORE YOUR SURGERY?

HE JUST SAID 1,200 CALORIES, VERY HIGH PROTEIN,

LIKE AS MUCH PROTEIN AS POSSIBLE,

AND ZERO TO LOW CARBS AND ZERO TO LOW SUGAR.

OKAY, SO, WE HAVE THIS LIST OF FOODS THAT YOU CAN HAVE.

LET'S SEE WHAT'S IN YOUR KITCHEN

AND MAYBE SEE WHAT FOODS THAT WILL WORK FOR YOU, OKAY?

OKAY, SO, LET'S LOOK AT FOOD PRODUCTS

THAT YOU'VE ORDERED.

SO, YOU SAID A LOT OF THE FOOD

WAS TAKEN OUT OF YOUR HOME ALREADY.

YEAH, A LOT OF IT. THERE'S SOME STILL HERE.

OKAY, LET'S LOOK IN THE KITCHEN.

OKAY, SO, YOU'VE GOT SOME GREEK YOGURTS --

80 CALORIES, HIGH PROTEIN, GREAT.

THE GOOD THING ABOUT PROTEIN

IS IT KEEPS YOUR BLOOD SUGARS AT A HIGH LEVEL,

AND YOU MAY NOT GET AS HUNGRY.

WHEN YOU EAT CARBS,

A LOT OF TIMES YOUR INSULIN GOES WAY UP.

IT BRINGS YOUR BLOOD SUGAR DOWN,

AND YOU'RE HUNGRY AGAIN.

ALL RIGHT, SO, I THINK, TO MAKE IT EASY FOR YOU,

LET'S GET SOME OF THIS FOOD OUT OF THE HOUSE.

OKAY. I KNOW YOU'RE NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.

LET'S SEE WHAT WE GOT HERE. WE GOT THE HERSHEY'S.

AND THESE PRETZELS.

WE'VE GOT SOME FRIES.

ALL RIGHT, SO, IT LOOKS LIKE WE GOT THE FREEZER

PRETTY CLEARED UP.

TAKE ONE STEP AT A TIME.

IT'S A LOT OF CHANGES TO MAKE.

BUT NOT HAVING THE FOODS IN THE HOUSE,

WILL THAT MAKE IT EASIER? YES.

ALL RIGHT, SO I'M PUTTING THESE IN THE TRASH.

AND I KNOW THIS IS HARD FOR YOU, BUT IT'S GONNA BE EASIER.

TAKE CARE.

Erica: I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE JUST WASTED ALL THAT FOOD.

I'M SO FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW.

BUT I CAN JUST ORDER MORE,

AND THERE'S NOTHING SHE CAN REALLY DO

TO STOP ME FROM DOING THAT,

SO SHE COMPLETELY WASTED HER TIME.

THIS IS JUST SO MUCH HARDER THAN I HAD EVER IMAGINED.

EVER SINCE I'VE BEEN ALMOST IMMOBILE,

I NEVER SEE MY FAMILY.

I JUST DON'T GO OUT, AND MY FAMILY DOESN'T COME TO SEE ME.

OH.

DAD?

CAN YOU HELP PULL HER OUT REAL QUICK?

SINCE I'VE BEEN BACK, I'VE BEEN ALONE.

BUT I WORKED UP THE COURAGE AND ASKED MY BROTHER

IF I COULD GO OVER TO HIS PLACE TO SEE THE FAMILY FOR DINNER.

-HI. I'M HAVING SOME TROUBLE. -HI.

SOME ISSUES? GRAB MY ARM.

ONE, TWO, THREE.

THERE WE GO.

OW.

I TOLD HIM I JUST WANTED TO GET OUT

AND THAT I MISSED EVERYONE.

BUT WHAT I REALLY NEED TO DO

IS ASK IF SOMEONE WILL MOVE TO HOUSTON WITH ME.

BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE'S GONNA SAY.

SO...

I FOUND THIS DOCTOR IN HOUSTON

THAT MIGHT BE WILLING TO HELP ME.

WELL, WHAT IS THE BIG TICKET ABOUT THIS DOCTOR IN HOUSTON?

IS HE YOUR LAST HOPE?

HE'S ABSOLUTELY MY LAST HOPE.

I THINK HE'S GOING TO ASK ME TO MOVE TO HOUSTON,

AND NOW I NEED MY FAMILY

TO STEP IN.

OKAY.

I NEED SOMEONE TO STAY WITH ME

UNTIL I'M MOBILE AND INDEPENDENT ENOUGH

TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

SO THEN, YOU GOT THE TAB FOR MY BOAT?

I MEAN, IT'S MY LIVELIHOOD.

HOW MUCH IS IT TO PARK YOUR BOAT?

FOR HOW LONG?

AT THE MINIMUM, SIX MONTHS.

OKAY, YEAH, LET ME JUST CHUCK MY LIVELIHOOD AWAY

AND JUST THROW IT AWAY.

I'M JUST GONNA SAY IT.

BOAT... YOU'RE SISTER DYING.

YOU WANT ME TO JUST THROW IT AWAY?

DO YOU WANNA BURY YOUR SISTER BY THE END OF THIS YEAR?

WOW. WOW. YOU'RE STRONG-ARMING ME. OH.

-NO. -DID I DO WHAT YOU DID?

NO. I DID THIS.

BUT I NEED YOU.

THERE'S NOTHING ELSE YOU CAN DO?

NO.

WITHOUT THIS DOCTOR IN HOUSTON,

I WILL FOR SURE DIE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT IT, ERICA.

OF COURSE I LOVE YOU, AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE.

BUT I NEED MY BOAT.

I THINK IT'S GOOD THAT YOU LET US KNOW.

THAT WAY, WE KNOW WHAT YOU NEED.

AND STARTING TONIGHT, WE'LL FIGURE OUT...

COME UP WITH A GAME PLAN.

...WHAT WE CAN DO. OKAY?

TOTALLY OPEN, BUT RUNNING OUT OF TIME.

Erica: I CAN'T DO THIS BY MYSELF.

BUT I DON'T WANNA DIE BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT.

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

**

Erica: I MISSED MY DOCTOR'S VISIT THIS MONTH

BECAUSE NO ONE IS WILLING TO GO WITH ME OR HELP ME.

I'VE WORKED HARD, BUT I HAVE NO IDEA

IF I'M MAKING PROGRESS OR WHAT I WEIGH RIGHT NOW.

I FEEL LIKE I'M TRYING,

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE POINT IS

BECAUSE I HAVE NO ONE THAT'S GOING TO HELP ME.

I BEGGED MY BROTHER AND I BEGGED MY SISTER AGAIN.

THE ONLY THING SHE SAID SHE'D DO WAS COME OVER AND MAKE SURE

THAT I'M COMPLYING WITH THE DIET,

BUT I DON'T NEED HER FOR THAT.

I NEED HER TO HELP ME GET SURGERY.

IT LOOKS A LOT BETTER THAN THE LAST TIME I WAS HERE.

OH, MY GOSH!

GOOD! IT LOOKS A LOT BETTER.

I'M ACTUALLY KIND OF IMPRESSED.

WHAT'D YOU DO WITH ALL THE FOOD?

HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

I'VE BEEN BETTER.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I'M STRUGGLING.

WELL, WOULD YOU LIKE TO QUIT?

SOME DAYS.

AND YOU JUST WANNA STAY IN THIS BED?

SOME DAYS.

IT'S BEEN, LIKE, THREE WEEKS WITHOUT PITA CHIPS AND HUMMUS

AND THREE WEEKS WITHOUT CHOCOLATE FUDGE CAKE EVERY DAY.

YOU CAN HAVE HUMMUS...

NO, I CANNOT. ...WITH VEGETABLES.

I DON'T EAT VEGETABLES.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LEARN TO EAT VEGETABLES.

LITERALLY COMES BACK UP.

AND I'M ALSO MAD 'CAUSE EVERYBODY ELSE

GETS TO EAT THE WAY THEY WANT.

-WHO? -EVERYBODY THAT I KNOW.

WE'RE NOT 600 POUNDS!

IT'S ALL OVER BILLBOARDS.

IT'S ALL OVER EVERY TV COMMERCIAL.

YOU CAN'T GO ANYWHERE.

MAYBE WHEN YOU LOSE A FEW HUNDRED POUNDS,

YOU CAN TREAT YOURSELF TO THAT, BUT NOT EVERY DAY.

THAT'S BEEN YOUR LIFESTYLE. THAT'S WHY YOU ARE 600 POUNDS.

WELL, I'M TRYING, BUT IT'S A LOT HARDER

THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE.

YOU DIDN'T THINK IT WAS GONNA BE THIS HARD? SERIOUS?

WELL, I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA HAVE,

LIKE, MORE, YOU KNOW...

MORE WHAT? I DON'T KNOW.

-MORE LOVE AND FAMILY SUPPORT? -STOP YELLING AT ME.

-I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. -STOP -- STOP YELLING AT ME.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE ANSWER IS TO THAT QUESTION.

I FEEL LIKE I'M IN IT ALL ALONE.

YOU'RE BEING MEAN RIGHT NOW.

-YOU'RE YELLING AT ME. -'CAUSE YOU HURT MY FEELINGS.

WELL, I HURT YOUR FEELINGS BECAUSE I TOLD YOU THE TRUTH.

I USED TO GO EAT ABOUT IT AND GET OVER IT

SO I WOULDN'T BE MEAN, AND NOW I CAN'T.

OH, SO YOU CAN JUST YELL AT ME INSTEAD?

NO, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COPE NOW.

NOW YOU NEED TO TURN TO SOMETHING ELSE.

-LIKE WHAT? -I DON'T KNOW.

YOU NEED TO FIND SOMETHING AND JUST STICK TO THAT.

LIKE I SAID, I'M TRYING THE BEST THAT I CAN WITH WHAT I HAVE.

WELL, KEEP TRYING.

ALL RIGHT, WELL, YOU'RE NOT THERE YET.

I'LL BE SUPPORTIVE.

"RAH, RAH," JUST LIKE MOM WOULD SAY.

Erica: I FEEL LIKE JUST GIVING UP.

AND THERE'S NOTHING ELSE I CAN DO EXCEPT WAIT FOR DEATH

BECAUSE NO ONE WILL HELP ME.

THIS PAST MONTH, I FELT SO OUT OF CONTROL AND ABANDONED.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

SO, I SCHEDULED A CALL WITH DR. NOW

TO TALK TO HIM BECAUSE NO ONE WILL HELP ME.

Dr. Nowzaradan: Hello?

HI, DR. NOWZARADAN. THIS IS ERICA WALL.

HI, ERICA. HOW ARE YOU DOING?

I'm struggling with the diet.

I'M HAVING A LOT OF ANXIETY AND PANIC ATTACKS

BECAUSE I WOULD ALWAYS EAT,

AND NOW I CANNOT EAT THE WAY THAT I WANT TO EAT.

YES.

UM, CAN I TELL YOU THAT'S A POISON?

I KNOW.

OKAY.

In the meantime, I want you to have your weight checked

SO I CAN MONITOR YOUR PROGRESS.

...THEN I WANT YOU TO COME BACK TO HOUSTON.

OKAY, DR. NOW. I'LL DO THAT.

IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS, JUST GIVE ME A CALL.

OKAY. THANK YOU.

-Okay, bye-bye. -BYE-BYE.

ERICA MISSED HER LAST APPOINTMENT,

AND SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE DIET.

BUT THE REALITY IS SHE DOESN'T WANT TO STICK TO THE DIET.

SHE WANTS SOMEBODY ELSE TO FIX HER PROBLEMS,

AND THAT'S NOT GOING TO WORK.

THERE IS NO POINT FOR HER

TO MAKE THE JOURNEY DOWN HERE

IF SHE HAS NOT LOST WEIGHT.

SO, WE'LL FIND A WAY TO CHECK HER WEIGHT THERE,

AND WE'LL SEE.

BUT RIGHT NOW WE HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO WITH HER.

Erica: DR. NOW'S THERAPIST HE FOUND FOR ME

IS COMING OVER TODAY,

AND I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO IT AT ALL.

TALKING TO A STRANGER ABOUT MY LIFE IS JUST A WASTE,

BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY THEY CAN UNDERSTAND

EVERYTHING I'VE BEEN THROUGH,

SO I JUST DON'T SEE THE POINT.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HEY, MISS ERICA. HOW ARE YOU?

I'M OKAY. HOW ARE YOU?

I'M GOOD!

SO, I ACTUALLY WAS REFERRED TO YOU BY DR. NOWZARADAN.

WHY DO YOU THINK HE REFERRED ME TO YOU?

I'M NOT SURE.

WOULD IT BE SURPRISING IF I TOLD YOU

I HAD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY?

-YES. -I DID.

I HAD THE GASTRIC BYPASS.

SO, I KNOW WHOLEHEARTEDLY HOW THIS FEELS.

WELL, LET'S START WITH HOW DO WE GET TO THIS POINT.

TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT HOW YOU GOT HERE.

WELL, I JUST EAT WAY TOO MUCH OF ALL THE FOODS THAT I LOVE.

I'M JUST REALLY ANGRY AT MYSELF

FOR LETTING ME GET TO THIS SIDE OF IT.

MM-HMM. SO MAKE IT UP TO YOURSELF

BY GETTING YOU TO THE OTHER SIDE OF IT.

THAT'S A LOT OF STUFF YOU GOTTA GO THROUGH

TO GET TO THE GOOD SIDE OF IT.

YEAH. AND?

I DON'T REALLY LIKE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE.

ARE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE RIGHT NOW?

YES.

AND GUESS WHAT. NOTHING'S HAPPENING.

-RIGHT. -YOU'RE FINE.

MM-HMM.

GOING THROUGH THIS PROCESS IS GOING TO CREATE MORE PROBLEMS,

BECAUSE IT DREDGES UP THE STUFF THAT YOU DON'T WANNA DEAL WITH.

YOU START GETTING MORE ANGRY THAN YOU WERE BEFORE

BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING WITHOUT YOUR COPING MECHANISM

WHICH IS FOOD, RIGHT? OKAY.

SO, NOW WE HAVE THE WEIGHT, THE MEDICAL PROBLEMS,

AND NOW MORE EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS.

YES. SO, WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK ABOUT IT?

BECAUSE UNTIL YOU GO THROUGH IT,

UNTIL YOU TALK ABOUT IT,

WE CANNOT GET TO THE OTHER SIDE.

IT'S JUST BEEN BURIED FOR SO MANY YEARS.

SO, WHEN ARE YOU GONNA BE TIRED OF IT?

DO YOU SEE HOW ALL OF THAT BAGGAGE

IS KEEPING YOU WHERE YOU ARE?

-YEAH. -TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON.

BE UNCOMFORTABLE.

UM...

THE AGE OF 16,

I HAD MY VERY FIRST BOYFRIEND OR WHATEVER,

AND I MADE THE DECISION TO SAY YES TO HIM.

HE TRICKED ME AND...

I DID NOT SAY YES TO HIS BEST FRIEND

THAT WENT RIGHT AFTER HIM, OR HIS COUSIN,

OR THE THREE THAT WENT AFTER THEM.

HMM. I UNDERSTAND.

THIS IS NOT YOUR SHAME TO CARRY, YOU REALIZE.

HOW DO YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW AFTER TELLING ME THAT STORY?

-GUILTY. -THAT HAPPENED TO YOU, ERICA.

AND IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.

SOMETHING HAPPENED IN YOUR PAST

THAT MADE ME YOU SO UNCOMFORTABLE,

YOU'RE LIKE, "I AM NEVER GETTING UNCOMFORTABLE AGAIN."

-EXACTLY. -BUT GUESS WHAT.

THERE'S ACTUALLY A HEALTHY UNCOMFORTABLE

AND AN UNHEALTHY UNCOMFORTABLE.

THE UNHEALTHY UNCOMFORTABLE IS WHEN THERE'S TRAUMA --

YOU JUST NAILED IT RIGHT THERE.

WHEN WE'RE VIOLATED, RIGHT?

YOU HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO BE HEALTHILY UNCOMFORTABLE.

WHAT'S YOUR URGE LIKE RIGHT NOW,

AS FAR AS YOUR FOOD IS CONCERNED,

AS YOU SIT IN THIS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT?

I'M JUST NUMB.

DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL?

NOPE.

ARE YOU WILLING TO JOURNAL?

AS FAR AS WHAT?

I WANNA KNOW IT ALL,

BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA START HAVING A VOICE.

CAN WE DO THOSE THINGS?

YES.

OKAY, SO WE'RE GONNA BE IN TOUCH.

-OKAY. -THIS IS THE BEGINNING.

REMEMBER, I CAN'T WANT THIS MORE THAN YOU DO.

GOT IT.

[ CHUCKLES ]

OH, GOODNESS.

-YOU'RE AWESOME. -THANK YOU.

-YOU ARE TOO. THANK YOU. -WE'LL TALK SOON.

OKAY. THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

Erica: I DON'T WANNA KEEP FEELING GUILTY

FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO ME

AND HOW I'VE ENDED UP.

AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M EVER NOT GOING TO FEEL THAT WAY,

SO IT REALLY JUST FEELS LIKE A LOST CAUSE.

BUT AT THE SAME TIME,

I KNOW IF I DON'T FIGURE THIS ALL OUT,

NOTHING'S GOING TO CHANGE,

AND I'M NOT GONNA BE AROUND MUCH LONGER.

**

Erica: TODAY, I'M GOING TO SEE WHAT I WEIGH.

DR. NOW WANTED ME TO GET MY WEIGHT CHECKED,

AND I'VE BEEN SCARED TO DO THAT.

AND I ASKED HIM FOR MORE TIME TO STICK TO THE DIET,

SO I'VE BEEN REALLY TRYING.

I STARTED JOURNALING LIKE THE THERAPIST WANTED.

I'M NOT SURE IF IT'S REALLY HELPED,

BUT IT'S BEEN NICE TO GET SOME THINGS OUT.

OH, WHERE IS IT?

ARE YOU GONNA GO THERE?

-NOPE. SEE YOU LATER. -NO!

HAVE A GOOD TIME! [ LAUGHS ]

I HAVEN'T BEEN PERFECT,

BUT I'VE BEEN REALLY TRYING TO LOSE THE WEIGHT,

AND NOW I REALLY WANNA KNOW WHAT I WEIGH.

I JUST HOPE EVERYTHING I'M DOING IS GOING TO PAY OFF

AND I'M NOT JUST WASTING MY TIME.

Man: ALL RIGHT. THIS IS GONNA BE THE BIG MOMENT.

Erica: SO I'M REALLY SCARED TO FIND OUT WHAT I WEIGH.

LIGHT BUMP.

WE CAN BOTH JUST TAKE AN ARM AND HELP HER UP.

I WANT TO DO THIS, AND I DON'T WANNA KEEP LIVING THIS WAY

AND PROVE MY FAMILY RIGHT, THAT I CAN'T CHANGE.

OKAY, RIGHT HERE.

-I'M DR. JONAS. -HI, DR. JONAS.

-I'M ERICA. NICE TO MEET YOU. -NICE TO MEET YOU.

I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE HERE TO WEIGH IN TODAY.

-YES. -AND WHAT ARE YOU SHOOTING FOR?

THE DOCTOR WANTS ME TO HAVE LOST 50 POUNDS.

OKAY, WELL, LET'S SEE WHAT IT IS.

OKAY.

[ BEEPING ]

[ GASPS ]

-ROB! -WHAT?

LOOK!

FROM 661.

THAT'S GOOD, YEAH?

[ LAUGHS ]

I THINK IT'S GOOD.

LET'S GO CELEBRATE, HUH?

GOOD JOB.

-HAPPY? -YEAH.

SO, NOW YOU'RE A CANDIDATE, RIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE.

THIS IS PROBABLY THE MOST YOU'VE EVER LOST, HUH?

THAT'S GOOD. GOOD JOB.

OH, MY GOD.

TAKE CARE AND GOOD LUCK.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

I'M SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW.

AND I HOPE DR. NOW HEARS ABOUT THIS

AND BELIEVES IN ME AND APPROVES ME FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

I TOLD DR. NOW ABOUT MY WEIGHT LOSS,

AND HE WAS VERY HAPPY, SO HE APPROVED ME

FOR MORE TREATMENT DOWN IN HOUSTON.

BUT HE WASN'T SURE WHAT KIND OF SURGERY

HE COULD DO ON ME BECAUSE OF MY STOMACH STAPLING,

AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO EXPECT

OR IF I'M EVEN GETTING ANY SURGERY.

BUT I STILL HAVE TO COMMIT TO MOVE DOWN THERE.

ERICA?

-HI, MOLLY. -YOU READY?

Erica: MY SISTER AND MY BROTHER STILL WON'T STAY WITH ME,

BUT MOLLY'S GONNA HELP ME MOVE DOWN THERE.

Molly: DO YOU WANNA JUST TAKE THOSE AND PUT THEM IN THE CAR,

AND MAYBE TAKE THEM IF WE NEED THEM?

-OKAY. -OKAY.

I MEAN, WHAT'S A PAIR OF SHOES WITH 17 BAGS?

Erica: I'M TRYING TO GET MY LIFE BACK,

AND I FEEL LIKE NO ONE REALLY SUPPORTS ME OR BELIEVES IN ME.

COME ON.

AND THAT MAKES IT SO MUCH HARDER

TO TRY AND DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

YOU LOVE ME TODAY?

I LOVE YOU, RYAN.

Molly: LET'S GO.

GET IN.

YOU KNOW, IF WE JUST LEAVE ALL YOUR BAGS HERE,

YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

GOD. AH!

THIS IS GREAT. [BLEEP] OKAY.

YOU SHOULD PROBABLY SHUT ME IN!

OKAY, I'D LOVE TO.

BETTER NOT GET ON MY SEAT.

I'M IN A LOT OF PAIN, AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN LEFT YET.

Molly: NOBODY HAS THIS MUCH CRAP.

Erica: I'M TERRIFIED RIGHT NOW,

AND I'M JUST REALLY HOPING THIS ISN'T A HUGE MISTAKE.

**

I'M VERY HUNGRY, AND I'M VERY TIRED.

AND MY BODY HURTS.

AND I JUST WANT TO GO TO SLEEP.

READY? ONE, TWO, THREE.

OH, CRAP.

AND DOWN.

Erica: NO HUMAN BEING SHOULD HAVE TO EXPERIENCE

THIS AMOUNT OF PAIN, THIS TYPE OF PAIN.

IT'S THE WRONG-SIZED BED.

SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

I DON'T KNOW. I'M...

-I'M OUT OF IT RIGHT NOW. -ALL RIGHT.

WELL, LET'S GO GET YOUR 15 EFFING BAGS.

'CAUSE YOU'RE STAYING HERE, WHETHER YOU'RE SITTING

ON THAT DAMN COUCH ALL NIGHT, OR SOMEWHERE.

YOU'RE STAYING HERE.

LEAVE IT RIGHT THERE.

WE NEED TO MOVE THE BED TO THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

OH, YOU MADE A DECISION?

I DON'T KNOW HOW...

I DON'T KNOW HOW'D YOU BE ABLE TO MOVE IT

'CAUSE THE WINDOW'S RIGHT THERE.

YOU CAN MOVE IT IN FRONT OF THE WINDOW.

OKAY, YOU NEED TO MAKE A DECISION, OR I'M GONNA LEAVE.

IT'S VERY DIFFICULT TO CONSTANTLY

BE SUBMISSIVE TO EVERYTHING IN LIFE AND HELPLESS.

GET YOUR ASS ON HERE.

-DO YOU WANT THE HEAD UP? -I GUESS.

DO YOU WANT THE RAILING DOWN?

HOW DO YOU DO THIS AT HOME? I'M NOT THERE.

IT DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE IT'S THE SAME THING AS AT HOME.

I'M SURE IT'S NOT THE EXACT SAME MODEL, NO, ERICA.

THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS.

THEN LET'S GO HOME.

YOU WANT TO GO HOME?

BUT DON'T EVER ASK ME TO DO ANYTHING ELSE, EVER.

I'M NOT COMING BACK HERE.

I'M DONE WITH THIS CRAP.

YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF.

GET UP AND GET OVER HERE. NOW.

ALL RIGHT.

CAN I HAVE MY FOOD, PLEASE?

HERE.

DO YOU HAVE ANOTHER DRINK?

GOOD BYE. I'M GONNA LEAVE.

Erica: OH, MY GOD.

I DON'T CARE. I DON'T [BLEEP] CARE!

I DIDN'T WANT TO COME HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Molly: SEE YOU TOMORROW.

I'LL EAT [BLEEP] WHATEVER THE [BLEEP] I WANT,

AND JUST [BLEEP] DIE IN CALIFORNIA

IN MY [BLEEP] COMFORTABLE HOUSE...

WHERE I WANT TO BE.

I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE.

I WILL FIND A WAY TO GET BACK HOME TO CALIFORNIA.

IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE SEEN DR. NOW.

AND I'M REALLY NERVOUS TO GET ON THE SCALE.

I'VE HAD A ROUGH MONTH,

SO I FEEL LIKE MAYBE I'VE GAINED SOME WEIGHT

SINCE MY LAST WEIGH-IN.

PLUS, DR. NOW SAID

I'M GOING TO MEET MY PERSONAL CARE ASSISTANT,

WHO IS GONNA HELP TAKE CARE OF ME IN HOUSTON.

AND I DON'T REALLY LIKE MEETING NEW PEOPLE,

SO I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THAT.

SO, SHE DOES BEST WHEN SHE TURNS

AND KINDA GOES BOTH FEET AT THE SAME TIME.

Erica: I KNOW DR. NOW HAS EXPECTED ME

TO KEEP LOSING WEIGHT.

BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH

OR WHAT HE'S GOING TO SAY IF I'VE GAINED.

I'M JUST HOPING HE FIGURES OUT

HOW TO GIVE ME SURGERY AND HELP ME.

-592. -OKAY.

Molly: THAT'S AN 18-POUND LOSS.

I WISH IT WAS MORE. [ CHUCKLES ]

OKAY. OW.

I'M OUT OF THE 600's. I JUST REALIZED THAT.

TOOK ME A MINUTE. [ LAUGHS ]

IT'S BEEN A VERY LONG TIME

SINCE I'VE WEIGHED LESS THAN 600 POUNDS.

BUT I'M DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF, 'CAUSE I WONDER,

IF I DIDN'T MAKE THOSE POOR EATING CHOICES,

HOW MUCH FARTHER I COULD'VE GOTTEN.

'CAUSE IF I JUST WOULD'VE DONE WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO,

I COULD'VE MADE SO MUCH MORE PROGRESS.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I ALWAYS SABOTAGE MYSELF.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

-HI, DR. NOW. -HEY. HOW YOU DOING?

HOW YOU DOING? SO, YOU HAVE LOST SOME WEIGHT.

YOU ARE FINALLY MAKING PROGRESS.

AND I'M PROUD OF YOU FOR THAT.

BUT, UH, YOU SHOULD HAVE LOST A LITTLE BIT MORE,

BECAUSE IT TOOK HALF A YEAR TO DO IT.

SO ARE YOU GOING TO STICK TO YOUR DIET?

I'M JUST GONNA TRY REALLY HARD.

ARE YOU DOING YOUR OWN COOKING?

YOU EATING OUTSIDE, OR...?

-I DON'T KNOW. -DON'T LOOK AT ME.

-I DON'T KNOW. -DON'T LOOK AT HER.

SHE IS NOT GONNA BE PREDICTING OF WHAT YOU CAN DO.

I DON'T KNOW.

JUST TO KEEP WORKING ON IT.

ERICA HAS MADE SOME PROGRESS.

BUT SHE TOOK A LOT LONGER

TO GET IN THE PROGRAM THAN SHE SHOULD HAVE.

I THINK SHE'S READY TO BE HERE IN HOUSTON,

BUT I'M NOT CONVINCED THIS IS NOT TEMPORARY PROGRESS,

AND SOON SHE'LL FIND A REASON TO START OVEREATING AGAIN.

YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE OF PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.

DING, DING, DING!

YOU'RE HOPING THAT EVERYTHING AROUND YOU HAPPENS,

AND MAGICALLY YOU'RE GONNA HAVE EVERYTHING CHANGE.

I WOULDN'T HAVE MADE THIS MOVE

IF I DIDN'T THINK I COULD DO IT.

BUT YOU SEEM LIKE YOU'RE HOPING SOMETHING OUTSIDE OF YOURSELF...

-...TO CONTROL THAT. -NO, I DON'T.

I'M VERY NERVOUS. AND I'M SCARED.

THAT'S ALL. I'M JUST -- I JUST GOT HERE.

BUT I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO.

I WANT HER TO UNDERSTAND

THE HARD PART IS NOT OVER YET,

AND SHE STILL HAS A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

I WANT YOU TO STICK TO THE DIET AND INCREASE YOUR ACTIVITY.

-OKAY? -OKAY.

I WANT YOU TO LOSE ANOTHER 25 POUNDS

OVER THE NEXT MONTH

AND SHOW ME THAT YOU CAN DO THIS.

THEN WE'RE GONNA SET YOU UP FOR AN ENDOSCOPY.

LOOK INSIDE OF YOUR STOMACH, SEE WHAT OPTIONS WE GOT,

FROM YOUR PREVIOUS WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, OKAY?

OKAY. THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL SEE YOU SOON.

ONE, TWO, THREE.

TALKING TO DR. NOW IS OKAY,

BUT HE'S VERY INTIMIDATING.

AND I DON'T THINK THE DOCTOR

REALLY THINKS I'M GOING TO KEEP DOING THIS.

YEAH. SIT.

OH, MY GOD.

SO I'LL TRY TO MAKE MORE PROGRESS, LIKE HE WANTS.

I'VE COME ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE TO DO THIS,

AND I CAN'T LOSE HIS HELP.

ONE, TWO, SEVEN.

IF I DO, I LITERALLY HAVE NO OTHER OPTIONS

TO SAVE MY LIFE.

TODAY MOLLY AND RYAN ARE GOING BACK HOME TO CALIFORNIA.

BUT THEY HELPED ME MOVE INTO MY APARTMENT.

Molly: 12 GRAMS OF PROTEIN. 80 CALORIES.

I WISH THEY WOULD STAY LONGER.

OKAY, ERICA. WE HAVE TO GO TO THE AIRPORT.

WHAT IF HE SAYS I'M HAVING SURGERY?

-ARE YOU COMING BACK? -OH, I DON'T KNOW.

YOU KNOW, I GOT A LOT GOING ON.

I THINK, IN A MONTH,

YOU'RE GONNA BE TELLING ME YOU LIKE IT,

AND YOU'RE HAPPY.

OKAY. I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

-THANK YOU. -OH, YOU'RE WELCOME.

-THANK YOU. -YOU'RE WELCOME.

IT'S BEEN SUCH A GREAT JOURNEY.

I'M SORRY FOR ALL THE SACRIFICES

THAT YOU'VE BOTH HAD TO MAKE TO DO THIS.

I DEEPLY, SINCERELY APPRECIATE IT.

-MORE THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW. -SHOW US.

AND NO ONE ELSE WOULD DO IT FOR ME.

SO THANK YOU.

SHOW US... HOW MUCH YOU APPRECIATE IT.

AND I'M SORRY I'M A PAIN IN THE ASS.

ARE YOU GETTING WHAT I'M SAYING?

SHOW US... HOW MUCH YOU APPRECIATE IT.

I WILL DO WHAT I NEED TO DO, MOLLY.

PROMISE.

MOLLY WANTS ME TO KEEP SHOWING HER THAT I CAN DO THIS.

BUT IT JUST FEELS REALLY STRANGE BEING HERE.

GOODBYE, ERICA.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT MY ADDRESS IS.

I'M OVERWHELMED

BECAUSE I HAVE A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME.

VERY, VERY LONG, DIFFICULT ROAD.

AND I'M SCARED.

I HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE.

AND I'M VERY NERVOUS...

THAT I CAN'T DO IT ALONE.

**

Dr. Nowzaradan: ERICA IS IN THE HOSPITAL TODAY FOR AN ENDOSCOPY.

I WANTED HER TO LOSE ANOTHER 25 POUNDS,

TO GET UNDER 567.

SO WE WEIGHED HER, AND SHE'S 574 POUNDS.

AN 18-POUND LOSS STILL SHOWS ME

THAT SHE'S MAKING PROGRESS.

SO I'M MOVING AHEAD WITH HER ENDOSCOPY.

ERICA NOT ONLY HAD A PREVIOUS WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY,

BUT SHE BLEW HER STAPLE LINE WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER,

AND IT HAD TO BE REPAIRED.

SO THERE COULD BE SO MUCH SCAR TISSUE IN HER STOMACH,

NO OPERATION WOULD EVEN BE POSSIBLE FOR HER.

THE STOMACH STAPLING IS A VERY OLD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

THE SHORT-TERM RESULT OF THIS OPERATION WAS VERY GOOD.

BUT THE FACT THAT SHE HAD IT DONE SO LONG AGO

AND IT HAD TO BE REPAIRED

CREATES A LOT OF ISSUES THAT COULD PREVENT US

FROM DOING ANOTHER PROCEDURE IN HER STOMACH.

ALL RIGHT. THERE'S A LOT OF DAMAGE IN HERE.

AND IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.

I CAN SEE A LOT OF STAPLES ARE STILL THERE.

AND THE SCAR TISSUE HAS FORMED AROUND THEM.

AND HER STOMACH IS DEFORMED FROM THE SURGERY.

OKAY, LET'S PULL THE CAMERA OUT.

ERICA HAS A LOT OF DAMAGE IN AND AROUND HER STOMACH.

AND NO PROCEDURE IS POSSIBLE.

BUT I MAY BE ABLE TO REMOVE THE STAPLES

AND DETERMINE WHAT WE CAN DO AT THAT POINT.

SHE'S REALLY WARM.

SHE'S HOT. FEVER.

LET ME SEE WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HER LEG.

ERICA HAS NOT BEEN TAKING CARE OF HERSELF.

SHE HAS CELLULITIS

THAT HAS CAUSED AN INFECTION IN HER LEG.

SO WE NEED TO KEEP HER IN THE HOSPITAL

AND START HER ON ANTIBIOTIC IMMEDIATELY

TO GET THIS UNDER CONTROL,

BECAUSE SHE'S NOT GOING TO SURVIVE

IF THIS INFECTION GETS ANY WORSE.

Erica: I CAME TO THE HOSPITAL FOR A SIMPLE PROCEDURE,

AND THEN I GOT STUCK HERE FOR A LOT LONGER THAN I WANTED.

I WAS UPSET, BUT DR. NOW SAID

MY CONDITION WAS PRETTY SERIOUS.

BUT TODAY, HE'S FINALLY GOING TO RELEASE ME FROM THE HOSPITAL.

AND I'M REALLY HAPPY ABOUT THAT.

HELLO.

SO, I'VE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS FOR YOU.

WE'RE GONNA SEND YOU HOME.

I'M GONNA GIVE YOU SOME ANTIBIOTICS

FOR A FEW MORE DAYS.

AND THE HYGIENE OF THE SKIN

IS GONNA BE VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOU.

-OKAY? -OKAY.

ERICA CAME TO THE HOSPITAL A FEW WEEKS AGO.

AND WE MANAGED TO GET HER INFECTION UNDER CONTROL.

BUT THEN I KEPT HER A LITTLE BIT LONGER

TO GET HER WEIGHT DOWN A LITTLE BIT MORE.

SO I'M GONNA CHECK YOUR WEIGHT TODAY.

AND WE'RE GONNA GET YOU GOING HOME, OKAY?

Erica: OKAY.

547. THAT'S GOOD. YOU'RE MAKING PROGRESS.

BUT YOU NEED TO LOSE ANOTHER 25 POUNDS

BY THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU IN THE CLINIC.

OKAY.

BUT HERE IS THE BIG THING -- I WANT YOU TO GET MORE ACTIVE.

BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE SURGERY AND YOU GET A BLOOD CLOT

BECAUSE YOU WON'T GET UP, IT CAN KILL YOU.

SO GET MORE ACTIVE.

-OKAY. -ALL RIGHT.

-I'LL SEE YOU LATER. -OKAY.

-ALL RIGHT. -THANK YOU.

-MM-HMM. -THANK YOU.

OKAY?

Dr. Nowzaradan: ERICA IS MAKING PROGRESS,

BUT HER ATTITUDE CAN STILL BE VERY POOR.

AND THAT JUST MEANS THAT I NEED MORE EVIDENCE

THAT SHE'S NOT GOING TO FALL BACK INTO BAD HABITS

WHEN SHE GETS THE SURGERY.

ALL RIGHT, MISS WALL. IT'S TIME TO GO, MA'AM.

SO I'M SENDING HER HOME

TO SHOW ME THAT SHE CAN KEEP MAKING PROGRESS ON HER OWN.

AND IF SHE DOES, I'LL SCHEDULE HER FIRST SURGERY,

TO REMOVE ALL HER STOMACH STAPLES

AND REPAIR ALL THE DAMAGE AROUND THAT.

WE'RE GONNA HELP YOU SLIDE UP A LITTLE BIT, OKAY?

Erica: I'M JUST A LITTLE FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW.

I'VE BEEN DOWN IN HOUSTON FOR A WHILE DOING EVERYTHING I CAN.

AND THE ONLY THING THAT'S HAPPENED

IS I GOT STUCK IN THE HOSPITAL.

...TWO, THREE.

I STILL DON'T KNOW IF I'M GETTING WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

AND I KEEP HAVING TO PROVE MYSELF.

SO THIS ALL JUST FEELS LIKE A WASTE SO FAR.

SINCE I'VE BEEN IN TEXAS,

I HAVE NOT REALLY BEEN EATING VERY MUCH

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GO OVER THE CALORIE PERIMETER

THAT DR. NOW HAS SET FOR ME.

SO THERE'S REALLY NOT MUCH FOR ME TO EAT.

I'M REALLY HUNGRY ALL THE TIME.

BUT SINCE I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL, I'M SCARED TO DEATH

BECAUSE OF EVERYTHING DR. NOW TOLD ME.

SUCCEEDING IN THIS WEIGHT-LOSS JOURNEY

IS LITERALLY LIFE-OR-DEATH.

BUT IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE

I'M EVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS.

BECAUSE IT'S SCARY FOR ME.

AND THE ONLY REASON THAT I'M TAKING A WALK

IS BECAUSE DR. NOW TOLD ME ABOUT GETTING A BLOOD CLOT,

PULMONARY EMBOLISMS, AND ALL THIS STUFF

THAT COULD HAPPEN WITH SURGERY IF I DON'T MOVE, MOVE, MOVE.

I FEEL LIKE I DON'T HAVE MANY OPTIONS

BECAUSE THEY ALL COULD POSSIBLY KILL ME.

SO, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

IT'S TOO OVERWHELMING. IT'S TOO DAUNTING.

IT'S TOO INTENSE.

I'M FEELING COMPLETELY HOPELESS RIGHT NOW.

**

Erica: I'M ON MY WAY TO DR. NOW'S OFFICE.

AND GETTING TO AND FROM DR. NOW'S OFFICE

IS EXTREMELY PAINFUL.

I'M SITTING ON THE FLOORBOARD.

THIS IS NOT NORMAL.

NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS NORMAL.

I'M SUPPOSED TO BE LOSING 25 MORE POUNDS THIS MONTH

AND FIND OUT ABOUT MY SURGERY.

I'M STILL TRYING TO DO WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO.

BUT I NEVER KNOW WHAT THE SCALE'S GOING TO SAY.

ERICA WALL?

EVEN IF IT'S GONE DOWN THE LAST FEW TIMES,

I'M WAITING FOR WHEN THAT NUMBER GOES BACK UP AGAIN

AND I LOSE EVERYTHING.

SO I'M NERVOUS TO SEE IF I GOT UNDER 524 POUNDS,

LIKE HE WANTED ME TO.

[ LAUGHS ]

I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW GOOD I DID.

I LOST MORE THAN WHAT THE DOCTOR WANTED.

SO I'M VERY PROUD OF MYSELF RIGHT NOW.

-HEY, ERICA. -HI, DOC.

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

I'M FINE, DR. NOW. HOW ARE YOU?

I'M DOING OKAY. YOU'RE DOWN TO 521 POUNDS.

AND THAT'S GREAT. I'M PROUD OF YOU.

SO I HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS FOR YOU.

I'VE BEEN STUDYING YOUR ENDOSCOPY VIDEO.

AND I THINK I'VE FIGURED OUT HOW TO REMOVE YOUR STAPLES,

FIX THE DAMAGE FROM THAT SURGERY,

AND GIVE YOU WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

THAT WILL LEAVE YOU WITH A MINI GASTRIC BYPASS,

THAT WILL HELP YOU TO LOSE MORE WEIGHT.

SO I'M GONNA APPROVE YOU FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

-OKAY? -OKAY.

ERICA HAS SHOWN ME THAT SHE'S WILLING TO TRY.

SO I'M WILLING TO DO ALL I CAN TO GIVE HER THE TOOLS

TO KEEP HER ON TRACK FOR THE LONG TERM.

THIS OPERATION IS GOING TO BE VERY DIFFICULT.

BUT I HAVE DETERMINED A PLAN THAT I THINK CAN BE SUCCESSFUL

AND IS WORTH ATTEMPTING SAFELY.

-I'LL SEE YOU NEXT MONTH. -OKAY.

THANK YOU.

Erica: I'M SO HAPPY AND PROUD OF MYSELF.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS FINALLY HAPPENING.

AS THE SURGERY DAY GETS CLOSE,

I'M GETTING MORE NERVOUS.

AND I'VE CONSIDERED BACKING OUT.

I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO DO THIS.

AND I'VE BEEN CALLING MY FAMILY

AND LEAVING THEM MESSAGES TO CALL ME,

BECAUSE I WANT TO ASK THEM

IF THEY'D COME TO HOUSTON TO TAKE ME HOME.

[ CELLPHONE VIBRATES ]

-Hey, Erica. -HI, JESSIE.

How are you feeling about getting surgery?

I'M REALLY, REALLY SCARED.

AND I'M CHICKENING OUT.

AND BACK AND FORTH.

Well, you shouldn't chicken out,

because Molly's coming Wednesday,

and I'm coming Thursday.

WAIT. WHAT?

ARE YOU JOKING RIGHT NOW?

No.

WELL, THIS MAKES ME VERY HAPPY.

I hope so.

You won't be alone.

You'll have two of your favorite girls

right there with you.

SHE TOLD ME SHE WASN'T COMING, JESSIE,

SO I'VE BEEN CRYING FOR LIKE 24 HOURS STRAIGHT.

Yeah, well, we figured out a way

so that she can come and I can come, too.

I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME.

I didn't want you to be alone.

I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE.

No. You're not.

Well, I'm gonna go back to work.

OKAY.

THANK YOU FOR CALLING ME

AND LETTING ME KNOW THE GOOD NEWS.

Yes. Love you.

I LOVE YOU, TOO, JESSIE. THANK YOU.

IF THEY WEREN'T COMING,

I KNOW I'D CHICKEN OUT AND CANCEL MY SURGERY.

I LOVE MY ENTIRE FAMILY SO MUCH,

SO FOR THEM TO MAKE THE SACRIFICES AND SHOW UP,

IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME.

Dr. Nowzaradan: TODAY WE'RE ATTEMPTING

TO DO A VERY BIG OPERATION ON ERICA

IN MULTIPLE STAGES.

FIRST, I'M GOING TO REMOVE THE STAPLES

THAT ARE IN HER STOMACH,

AND REPAIR THE DAMAGE THAT THE STAPLES DONE.

WITH HER PREVIOUS GASTRIC STAPLING,

WE MAY HAVE A LOT OF SCARRING TISSUE.

WE'RE GONNA SEE IF IT'S POSSIBLE TO DO A FULL BYPASS

OR DO A SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY.

WE CAN TURN THE ROOM LIGHT OFF.

BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF UNKNOWN FACTORS.

SO I HAVE TO TAKE EACH STAGE A STEP AT A TIME

AND SEE IF ANY OF THIS IS EVEN POSSIBLE.

Jessie: IT HAS BEEN REALLY DIFFICULT WAITING FOR NEWS,

BUT I AM SO HOPEFUL FOR THIS SURGERY,

BECAUSE SHE'LL BE ABLE TO ENJOY LIFE

AND DO THINGS WITH ME AND BE AROUND FOR THINGS.

Dr. Nowzaradan: OKAY. I'M REMOVING THE STAPLES NOW.

LAST COUPLES ONES.

NOW I'M RESHAPING THE STOMACH TO FIX THE DEFORMITY.

AND I'M GOING TO DO GASTRIC SLEEVE.

DURING GASTRIC-SLEEVE OPERATION,

WE REMOVE 70% TO 80% OF THE STOMACH,

AND WE LEAVE A LONG, SKINNY TUBE IN PLACE.

ALMOST DONE.

SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY WILL GIVE THE PATIENT

AN OPPORTUNITY TO BEGIN LOSING WEIGHT

BECAUSE THEY WILL FEEL FULL VERY QUICKLY AFTER EATING.

ALL RIGHT. ROOM LIGHT ON.

ALL RIGHT. ALL FINISHED.

ERICA'S SURGERY WENT WELL TODAY.

THIS IS GOING TO HELP ERICA TO LOSE MORE WEIGHT.

BUT THIS IS REALLY JUST A START OF HER JOURNEY.

SHE HAS A LONG ROAD AHEAD,

AND SHE'S GOING TO NEED A LOT OF HELP TO GET THERE.

BUT SHE'S BACK ON THE RIGHT TRACK.

Erica: IT'S BEEN ABOUT A MONTH SINCE MY SURGERY,

AND I'VE BEEN FEELING REALLY GOOD.

SO I'VE DECIDED I WANTED TO GO SOMEWHERE AND DO SOMETHING.

LOOK AT THAT! THERE'S A PYTHON!

A YEAR AGO, I WOULDN'T HAVE DREAMED

I COULD GO OUT AND DO THIS.

LET'S GO. MOVE IT ALONG.

LOOK IT. THEY'RE HUGE.

FOR ALMOST FIVE YEARS, I HARDLY WENT OUT IN PUBLIC.

AND I NEVER THOUGHT I'D GET THIS CHANCE AT LIFE AGAIN.

BUT I'VE LEARNED THAT I'M A LOT STRONGER THAN I KNEW.

AND I KNOW THERE'S A LOT I STILL HAVE TO FIGURE OUT,

AND IT'S NOT GOING TO BE EASY.

BUT I'M TRYING, AND I'M WILLING TO KEEP TRYING.