All language subtitles for My 600-lb Life S05E06

Erica: THE LIFE THAT I'M LIVING
IS PATHETIC.

IT'S DISGUSTING,
AND I'M GOING TO DIE VERY SOON.

Man: NOT FOR ONE MINUTE
THAT I THOUGHT MY LIFE

WOULD END UP LIKE THIS.

OW! MY LEGS!

Ashley: I'M SO FAR GONE.

Woman #1:
I ABSOLUTELY NEED HELP,

OR I AM GONNA DIE.

-I CAN'T DO THIS.
-I'M RIGHT UNDER YOU.

-[ Crying ] I NEED OVER!
-YOU'RE FINE. YOU'RE FINE.

Woman #2:
I FEEL LIKE I LET MY KIDS DOWN.

INSTEAD OF ME
TAKING CARE OF THEM,

THEY'VE BEEN TAKING CARE OF ME.

IT'S YOU -- YOU ARE
THE ONE KILLING HIM.

Erica:
I HAVE TO TAKE THIS RISK NOW.

AND I CAN EITHER DIE TRYING
OR I CAN JUST DIE IN BED.

-- Captions by VITAC --
www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY
DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

IT'S HARD TO MAKE A CHOICE
TO FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE

WHEN YOU'VE GIVEN UP ON IT
FOR SO LONG.

AND IT'S EVEN HARDER

WHEN EVERYONE ELSE
HAS GIVEN UP ON YOU.

I AM COMPLETELY MISERABLE
EVERY DAY.

I FEEL LIKE ANY TIME

THAT I CLOSE MY EYES
AND GO TO SLEEP,

I'M NOT GONNA WAKE UP.

AND EVERY TIME
THAT I DO WAKE UP,

I'M JUST AS SURPRISED
AS EVERYONE ELSE.

AND AS SOON AS I GET UP,

MY BODY GETS SO STARVING
AND SO HUNGRY

THAT I JUST HAVE TO EAT.

BUT SOME DAYS, I FEEL LIKE
A TICKING TIME BOMB...

[ GROANS ]

...BECAUSE OF HOW EXCRUCIATING
THE PAIN IS.

MY BACK HURTS. MY LEGS HURT.

AND I HAVE A STOMACH
THAT HANGS TO MY KNEES

AND LYMPHEDEMA EVERYWHERE.

SO WALKING
IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME,

AND THE ONLY PLACES
THAT I CAN GO IN MY HOUSE

ARE MY BED, THE TOILET,
AND THE KITCHEN.

SO NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS,

I HAVE TO GET FOOD
AND EAT IT IN MY BEDROOM.

THERE'S NOTHING BETTER

THAN TO HAVE
THAT SOMETHING SWEET

FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

FEELS SO GOOD.

JUST LETS ME KNOW THAT MY DAY
IS GONNA BE OKAY.

BECAUSE I'M SO BIG,
I CAN'T REALLY GO OUT,

SO I FEEL EXTREMELY ISOLATED

AND CUT OFF
FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD.

THE ONLY FAMILY MEMBER I GET
TO SEE ON A CONSISTENT BASIS

IS MY NIECE, JESSIE.

SHE'S THE ONLY ONE
THAT COMES AND HELPS ME,

TAKES CARE OF ME.

-HEY.
-HEY.

GOOD TO START
YOUR SHOWER?

-YES.
-OKAY.

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN CONCERNED
ABOUT ERICA'S WEIGHT.

AND WHERE SHE IS RIGHT NOW,

SHE'S DEPENDENT ON ME.

BASICALLY, I'M ERICA'S
MAIN CARETAKER RIGHT NOW.

LEG. READY?

NO.

THERE YOU GO.

[ GROANS ]

TAKING A SHOWER IS SO PHYSICALLY
DEMANDING AND EXHAUSTING.

IT TAKES EVERYTHING OUT OF ME.

AND THE WHOLE RITUAL OF IT
IS TRAUMATIC.

BUT WHEN I TAKE A SHOWER,

IT'S THE ONLY TIME
THAT I FEEL CLEAN

BECAUSE THERE'S ALL
THESE NASTY BLISTERS

AND DEAD SKIN AND FOLDS,

AND THEY'RE VERY HARD
TO KEEP CLEAN.

I HATE EVERY PART
OF MY MASSIVE BODY.

IT MAKES DOING
THE SIMPLEST THINGS DIFFICULT.

BUT NOBODY HAS EVER WIPED ME,

AND NOBODY HAS EVER BATHED ME.

BUT IT'S RIGHT AROUND
THE CORNER.

I HATE MY LIFE.

YAH!

OW! GAH!

I'M NOT EVEN LIVING.

AND I NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS

BELIEVED THAT MY LIFE
WOULD END UP LIKE THIS.

FOOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN
A BIG PART OF MY LIFE.

I'M THE OLDEST OF THREE KIDS.

I HAVE A YOUNGER SISTER
AND BROTHER,

AND THERE WAS REALLY NO CONTROL

OVER OUR EATING.

MY PARENTS NEVER TOLD ME
TO STOP WHEN I WAS REALLY YOUNG,

SO I JUST ATE WHEN I WANTED.

Robert: WE HAD LOTS OF
HIGH-CALORIE FOOD IN OUR HOUSE.

MY MOM WOULD COOK BIG MEALS
EVERY -- EVERY NIGHT.

FRIED CHICKEN ONCE A WEEK.
ICE CREAM ON TAP.

SO I DON'T THINK ERICA
REALLY PRACTICED DIETING

WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER.

Erica: I DIDN'T EVEN THINK
ABOUT MY WEIGHT UNTIL I WAS 12.

I WAS AROUND 200 POUNDS THEN,

AND THE KIDS AT SCHOOL
WOULD TEASE ME.

THEY WOULD SAY THINGS
AND CALL ME NAMES.

BUT NONE OF IT
WOULD HURT AS MUCH

AS WHEN MY FATHER
WOULD TEASE ME.

HE WOULD SAY
SOME REALLY HURTFUL THINGS.

HE ALWAYS SAID, "WHAT HAPPENED
TO MY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL?

SHE WENT TO SLEEP ONE NIGHT,
AND SHE WOKE UP GODZILLA."

I FELT ABANDONED
AND NEGLECTED BY MY FATHER.

I JUST WANTED MY DAD
TO TELL ME HE LOVED ME

AND THAT HE WASN'T DISAPPOINTED
THAT I WAS HIS DAUGHTER.

BUT FOOD WAS ALWAYS THERE
FOR ME, SO I KEPT EATING.

AND I GOT BIGGER AND BIGGER.

Robert:
I THINK THAT MY DAD --

MAYBE HE WAS EMBARRASSED

OF HIS OLDEST DAUGHTER
BEING OVERWEIGHT

AND WANTED TO CHANGE THAT.

Erica:
I KEPT GAINING INTO HIGH SCHOOL,

AND I HIT 300 POUNDS.

AND THE BIGGER I GOT,

THE MORE MY FATHER SHARED
HIS DISAPPOINTMENT IN ME.

BUT THAT DIDN'T MATTER
WHEN I WAS EATING.

FOOD MADE ME HAPPY.

BUT THEN SOMETHING TERRIBLE
HAPPENED TO ME WHEN I WAS 16,

AND MY LIFE
TOTALLY CHANGED FOREVER.

I HAD STARTED SEEING SOMEONE.

AND ONE NIGHT,

MY BOYFRIEND TOOK ME
OUT TO SOME HOUSE

IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.

BUT WHEN WE GOT THERE,
HIS BEST FRIEND, HIS COUSIN,

AND THREE OTHER PEOPLE --
THEY'RE ALL THERE DRINKING BEER.

I THOUGHT IT WAS VERY STRANGE.

MY BOYFRIEND
TOOK ME INTO A ROOM,

AND I HAD SEX
FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH HIM.

THAT NIGHT, I ONLY SAID
YES TO MY BOYFRIEND.

I DID NOT SAY YES
TO HIS BEST FRIEND

OR HIS COUSIN
OR THE THREE FRIENDS AFTER THAT.

MY FIRST
SEXUAL EXPERIENCE WAS...

A GANG RAPE.

AFTER THE RAPE, I TOLD MY MOM.

SHE WAS ANGRY.

SHE WAS CRYING.

IT WAS TOO MUCH FOR HER TO HEAR.

I BEGGED HER NOT TO TELL MY DAD.

AND TO THIS DAY,
I DON'T THINK HE KNOWS.

I WAS SO AFRAID HE'D FIND OUT.

AND ALL THAT PAIN AND FEAR
INSIDE ME

JUST MADE ME WANT TO EAT,

BECAUSE WHEN I ATE,
ALL THAT WENT AWAY.

SO, I GAINED 100 POUNDS
IN A VERY SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.

AND MY FATHER DIDN'T KNOW WHY,

SO HE WOULD REMIND ME EVERY DAY
HOW BIG I WAS GETTING.

MY MOM KNEW WHAT HAD HAPPENED

AND WHY I WAS SO DEPRESSED

AND CONSTANTLY RUNNING TO FOOD.

SHE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO HELP,
BUT SHE WANTED TO TRY SOMETHING.

SO SHE GOT MY STOMACH STAPLED
WHEN I WAS 17.

AFTER I HAD THAT SURGERY,
I BRIEFLY LOST WEIGHT.

BUT IT WASN'T TOO LONG

BEFORE I STARTED GAINING
WEIGHT RAPIDLY AGAIN,

AND I BLEW MY STAPLE LINE OUT

FROM MY STOMACH-STAPLING
SURGERY.

I HAD TO GO IN
FOR ANOTHER SURGERY

SO THAT THEY COULD
REPAIR MY STOMACH.

BUT I HAD DONE SO MUCH DAMAGE

THAT THEY COULDN'T PUT
MY STAPLES BACK

IN EXACTLY THE SAME WAY,

SO IT WASN'T EFFECTIVE ANYMORE.

AND I JUST STARTED EATING AGAIN.

IT MADE MY MOM VERY SAD,

BECAUSE SHE KNEW
THAT I WAS NOT HAPPY.

SHE WAS CONSTANTLY TRYING
TO THINK OF EVERYTHING

AND ANYTHING TO HELP ME

SO THAT I COULD BE
HER HAPPY DAUGHTER AGAIN.

SHE NEVER GAVE UP ON ME.

SHE WAS ALWAYS THERE
TO SUPPORT ME AND LOVE ME.

BUT A FEW YEARS AGO,
MY MOM GOT IN A CAR WRECK

AND SHE WAS BEING KEPT ALIVE
BY A VENTILATOR.

WHEN THE FAMILY REALIZED
SHE WASN'T GONNA MAKE IT,

THEY WENT TO SAY GOODBYE,

AND EVERYONE WAS ABLE
TO KISS HER GOODBYE.

AND WHEN IT WAS MY TIME

TO SAY GOODBYE TO HER,

I DID NOT WANT TO LEAN DOWN

AND UNPLUG
ANY OF THE MACHINES ON ACCIDENT

BECAUSE OF THE SIZE
OF MY MASSIVE BODY.

SO I MADE THE DECISION
TO JUST HOLD HER HAND.

THAT IS THE BIGGEST REGRET,

AND IT'LL HAUNT ME
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE

THAT I WAS NOT ABLE
TO SAY GOODBYE TO MY MOM

THE WAY THAT SHE NEEDED ME TO
AND THE WAY THAT I NEEDED TO.

MY MOM, NO MATTER WHAT,
WAS ALWAYS HOPEFUL AND POSITIVE.

AND I TRY SO HARD
TO CARRY THAT ON FROM HER,

BUT MOST DAYS, IT'S JUST PAIN --

EMOTIONAL, MENTAL,
AND PHYSICAL, ALL OF IT.

AND THE ONLY RELIEF I GET
IS WHEN I EAT,

BUT I CAN'T GET FOOD MYSELF

SO I HAVE TO GET JESSIE
TO HELP ME.

JESSIE?

ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE BACK.

THANK YOU.

I HAVE NOT BEEN
TO THE GROCERY STORE

OR ANY STORE
IN FIVE OR SIX YEARS.

SO WHEN JESSIE
BRINGS ME MY GROCERIES,

IT'S MY ONE CHANCE FOR THAT WEEK

TO GET EVERYTHING I NEED
TO SURVIVE.

Jessie: I WORRY ABOUT ERICA

BECAUSE MY DAD AND MY AUNT MOLLY
DON'T GO SEE HER.

NO ONE REALLY DOES.

SO I GO OVER
TO HELP HER CLEAN UP

AND DO WHAT SHE NEEDS
AND GET HER GROCERIES.

BUT SHE PUTS A LOT OF STUFF

SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE
ON HER GROCERY LIST.

SOMETIMES SHE PUTS CHIPS
ON THE LIST

WHEN I KNOW
SHE HAS FIVE BAGS AT HOME.

BUT I DO GET THEM FOR HER

BECAUSE SHE WOULD GET
REALLY UPSET

IF I DIDN'T COME BACK
WITH SOMETHING.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

SEEING AND KNOWING

THAT ERICA
IS GAINING MORE WEIGHT

IS REALLY HARD AND SAD.

BUT I KIND OF
FEEL LIKE I'M TRAPPED,

'CAUSE I WANT TO HELP,
BUT THIS ISN'T HELPING.

Erica: I KNOW I CANNOT
KEEP LIVING THIS WAY.

THERE'S ENOUGH FOOD
IN THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW

TO FEED A FAMILY OF FOUR

FOR PROBABLY
THREE MONTHS STRAIGHT.

I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN HOW
IT'S GOTTEN SO OUT OF CONTROL.

Jessie: I REALLY WANT ERICA

TO GET ON TRACK
AND BECOME HEALTHY,

BECAUSE HER BODY
CAN'T GET MUCH BIGGER

AND I'M AT MY BREAKING POINT
WITH THIS.

ALL RIGHT.
I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

-NEXT WEEK.
-YES.

I CAN'T BE A PART
OF HER SLOWLY DYING ANYMORE.

Erica: TODAY,
MY SISTER MOLLY IS COMING OVER

BECAUSE I WANNA GO TO HOUSTON
TO TRY AND SEE DR. NOWZARADAN.

I CAN'T GO DOWN ON MY OWN,

AND I CAN'T STAY THERE
WITHOUT SOMEONE TO HELP ME.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

SO SHE'S MY ONLY HOPE,

BECAUSE JESSIE HAS SCHOOL
AND SHE CAN'T DO IT.

BUT I'M NERVOUS, BECAUSE
SHE'S NEVER SEEN MY APARTMENT

AND IT NEVER GOES WELL
WHEN I SEE HER.

OH, BOY.

Molly: I CAN'T UNDERSTAND
HOW SHE LIVES THIS WAY.

ERICA IS MENTALLY ILL.
HMM.

HER APARTMENT IS DISGUSTING.

SOMETHING IS
SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH HER.

HI, MOLLY.

WHAT IS GOING ON
WITH ALL THAT FOOD?

IT'S JUST THERE.

YOU TELL ME THAT
YOU EAT VERY LITTLE,

BUT OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T.

YOUR LEG IS ALMOST
SWALLOWING UP YOUR TOES.

ERICA, LOOK AT
HOW BAD THIS IS.

YES, IT'S VERY...BAD.

I DON'T WANNA SEE THAT.

YOU NEED HELP.

I FOUND A DOCTOR THAT
MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP ME.

SO, HOW COME NOW?

BECAUSE
I DON'T WANNA DIE.

AND I DON'T KNOW WHEN
PEOPLE'S ROCK BOTTOMS COME,

BUT THIS IS MINE.

SO, WHERE'S THIS DOCTOR AT?

HE'S IN HOUSTON.

-TEXAS?
-YES.

-YOU LIVE HERE.
-YES.

WITHOUT SOMEONE GOING
AND LIVING WITH ME,

I'M NOT GONNA
BE ABLE TO GO.

ERICA, I CAN'T
LEAVE MY FAMILY.

I KNOW. I KNOW.

SO, THAT'S NOT HAPPENING.

I NEED TO GET GOING.

I GOTTA GO TO WORK.

I NEVER GET TO SEE YOU.

I KNOW.
I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.

ERICA, EAT THE YOGURT,
NOT THE PIE.

-I'M GONNA TAKE THE PIE WITH ME.
-NO!

-GOODBYE.
-PLEASE DO NOT.

Molly:
SHE'S AN EMBARRASSMENT,

AND I HOPE THAT SHE GETS
THE HELP THAT SHE NEEDS

SO THAT SHE CAN BE
A PART OF OUR FAMILY.

IF SHE WANTS IT THAT BAD,
SHE CAN FIGURE IT OUT.

Erica: I JUST FEEL LIKE
I'M IN THIS FIGHT ALL ON MY OWN.

IF I CAN'T GET HELP RIGHT NOW,
I KNOW I'M GONNA DIE SOON.

BUT I STILL CAN'T STOP.

I HAVE THE MOST UNHEALTHY
RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD.

I USE IT JUST LIKE A DRUG,

SO IF I'M FEELING REALLY SAD,

WORRIED, DISAPPOINTED,

I BINGE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN.

MY FOOD ADDICTION
IS ABSOLUTELY KILLING ME.

A VERY SLOW, AGONIZING,
PAINFUL DEATH.

I MADE A PROMISE TO MY MOM
THAT I WAS GOING TO DO

EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING
THAT I COULD TO GET HEALTHY,

BECAUSE THAT'S ALL
SHE EVER WANTED.

IT'S BEEN TWO AND A HALF YEARS
SINCE SHE WAS KILLED,

AND I HAVE NOT KEPT
THAT PROMISE.

INSTEAD,
I HAVE GAINED 200 POUNDS.

I'VE WASTED SO MANY YEARS
OF MY LIFE,

AND I'M WORRIED
THAT MY TIME IS RUNNING OUT.

AND IF I DON'T MAKE THE CHANGE

THAT IS NEEDED RIGHT NOW,

I'M GOING TO LOSE EVERYTHING.

**

[ GROANING ]

AFTER MY SISTER TOLD ME

SHE WASN'T GOING TO HELP ME
GO TO HOUSTON

TO TRY AND GET HELP,

I WAS SO DEPRESSED.

I DIDN'T STOP EATING
FOR A WHILE AFTER SHE LEFT.

AND I KNOW I'VE LET HER DOWN
SO MANY TIMES BEFORE,

BUT I'M DESPERATE RIGHT NOW.

SO I'VE BEEN CALLING HER
AND BEGGING HER.

I HAVE TO GET HELP NOW.

SHE WAS GOING TO TALK IT OVER
WITH HER HUSBAND

AND LET ME KNOW TOMORROW,

AND I'M HOPING THE ANSWER IS YES

BECAUSE I HAVE TO HAVE
SOMEONE HELP ME DO THIS.

I TALKED TO MY SISTER,

AND SHE HAS AGREED
TO TAKE ME TO HOUSTON,

BUT SHE STILL WON'T STAY WITH ME

OR HELP ME GET SITUATED
DOWN THERE.

SHE SAID SHE AND HER HUSBAND

WILL GO DOWN WITH ME
TO JUST HELP ME GET THERE,

BUT SHE WON'T DRIVE ME

BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANNA BE
IN A CAR THAT LONG.

SHE WANTS TO FLY.

AND IT'S BEEN ALMOST 20 YEARS
SINCE I'VE BEEN ON A PLANE.

I'M EXTREMELY NERVOUS
ABOUT MY TRIP.

I'M NOT QUITE SURE
HOW IT'S GONNA BE

TO BE ABLE TO TAKE A SHOWER
AT THE HOTEL,

SO IN ORDER
FOR ME TO STAY CLEAN,

I NEED ALL OF THESE
CLEANSING CLOTHS.

MOST PEOPLE DON'T HAVE TO PACK
THAT TYPE OF STUFF.

MOLLY IS COMING IN THE MORNING
WITH HER HUSBAND TO GET ME,

AND WE'LL GO TO THE AIRPORT.

I'M SO EXTREMELY NERVOUS.

I DON'T HAVE A MONTH TO WAIT.
OR TWO MONTHS OR NEXT YEAR.

IT'S NOW OR NEVER.

-HI, MOLLY.
-HI.

OH, BOY.

TODAY IS THE DAY THAT I TAKE
THE BIG TRIP TO SEE THE DOCTOR.

ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.

I'M NERVOUS ABOUT HOW PHYSICALLY
DEMANDING IT'S GONNA BE...

SERIOUSLY?
YOU NEED TO SIT?

...AND VERY NERVOUS ABOUT BEING
IN PUBLIC WITH SO MANY PEOPLE.

Molly: THE WHOLE THING'S
GONNA BE A CHALLENGE.

JUST TRYING TO GET HER
IN THE CAR FROM HERE,

TRYING TO GET HER
ON AN AIRPLANE.

SHE'S VERY BIG.

EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE
A CHALLENGE.

THIS IS GONNA BE ROUGH.

-PUT YOUR FOOT IN.
-I CA--

I HOPE THIS IS A CHANCE FOR HER
TO FIX THINGS AND CHANGE THINGS.

ARE WE SITTING BACK DOWN?
OKAY.

BUT I'M SKEPTICAL.

EVEN IF WE GET THERE
AND EVERYTHING HAPPENS,

I DON'T TRUST THAT SHE
WILL SUCCEED AT THIS MOMENT

'CAUSE SHE NEVER HAS.

-JUST GET IN. START.
-[ BLEEP ]

[BLEEP] [BLEEP]

Erica: THE LIFE THAT I'M LIVING
RIGHT NOW IS PATHETIC.

IT'S DISGUSTING.
IT'S NONSTOP WEAKNESS.

Molly: KEEP GOING.

[ GRUNTING ]

MY MOM
WAS THE STRONGEST PERSON

THAT I HAD EVER KNOWN
IN MY ENTIRE LIFETIME.

OW!

I DO NOT WANT
TO GO ANOTHER DAY

NOT FULFILLING
THAT PROMISE TO MY MOM.

THAT OUTWEIGHS THE FEAR
OF WHAT'S TO COME.

Molly: IS IT TOO LATE
TO ABORT THIS PLAN?

MY LIFE HAS TO CHANGE,

AND I'M DESPERATE RIGHT NOW.

BUT I'M SCARED THAT
I WON'T BE ABLE TO DO IT

OR THAT I'M BEYOND HELP.

BUT I KNOW IF I GIVE INTO
THE FEAR RIGHT NOW

AND GO BACK HOME,

THAT WOULD BE
A DEATH SENTENCE FOR ME.

I'D BE CHOOSING
TO GO HOME AND DIE.

SO MATTER HOW SCARY THIS GETS,
I CAN'T TURN BACK.

I JUST HOPE THAT
I'M PHYSICALLY ABLE TO MAKE IT

AND THAT I CAN FIT DOWN
THE AISLE AND IN THE SEATS.

I KNOW THE RISK
I'M TAKING RIGHT NOW,

BECAUSE THE DOCTOR TOLD ME

IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA TO TRAVEL
WITHOUT MEDICAL CARE

OR TO FLY RIGHT NOW
BECAUSE OF MY LEGS

AND THE POSSIBILITY
OF BLOOD CLOTS.

BUT THIS IS MY ONLY CHANCE.
I HAVE NO OTHER OPTIONS.

I'M DOING THIS
SO I HAVE A CHANCE TO LIVE,

BUT NOW THAT I'M HERE,
IT'S SO MUCH SCARIER.

IT FEELS LIKE EVERYONE
IS WATCHING ME,

AND THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING.

RIGHT BEHIND YOU, MISS.
BEEP, BEEP!

I'M SORRY.

HOW DID I GET TO THIS POINT

WHERE I'M LIKE
A SIDE SHOW TO PEOPLE?

THEY HAVE TO CART ME
PAST EVERYONE

JUST TO MAKE SURE I CAN FIT.

I DESPERATELY HOPE
I DON'T HAVE TO COME BACK OUT

AND GO PAST EVERYONE AGAIN

BECAUSE I CAN'T EVEN FIT
ON A PLANE.

THEY'VE ALREADY MADE ME BUY
A WHOLE AISLE OF THREE SEATS

BECAUSE OF MY SIZE.

Molly: KEEP GOING.
ERICA, PICK UP.

Erica:
THAT ALONE IS HUMILIATING.

THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.

I'M JUST SO HAPPY I FIT,

BUT I STILL HAVE THE WHOLE
PLANE RIDE TO GET THROUGH,

AND I'M TERRIFIED.

IT'S GONNA BE OVER
THREE AND A HALF HOURS,

AND I KNOW IT'S DANGEROUS

FOR SOMEONE MY SIZE
TO TRAVEL IN THE AIR.

SO I'M JUST SO AFRAID RIGHT NOW

THAT SOMETHING'S
STILL GOING TO HAPPEN

AND I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT.

**

Man: ON THREE.
ONE, TWO, THREE.

-I GOTTA GET UP.
-KEEP GOING.

OKAY. LEGS THERE.

OKAY, WE'RE THERE.

-YOU GOT IT. YOU GOT IT.
-THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

Molly: YOU ALL RIGHT?

YOU OKAY?

Erica:
WE FINALLY MADE IT TO HOUSTON,

AND I'M SO GLAD TO BE HERE
AND OFF THE PLANE.

IT WAS SO DIFFICULT TO
SIT IN THAT SEAT FOR SO LONG.

NOW ALL I WANNA DO
IS GET TO THE HOTEL,

AND I'M HOPING I CAN FIT
ON THE BED THERE.

OKAY.

AH!

ALL I WANNA DO IS LAY DOWN
BECAUSE I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN.

I DIDN'T THINK
THAT I WAS GONNA MAKE IT,

SO I'M ACTUALLY PRETTY SHOCKED
THAT I DID.

THIS IS NOT --
I'M GONNA FALL.

-OW!
-YOU'RE NOT FALLING.

I'M FEELING VERY SORE,
VERY SWOLLEN AND WEAK,

AND I'M EXHAUSTED.

IF I HAD KNOWN HOW HARD
THIS WAS GOING TO BE,

I'M NOT SURE I WOULD'VE DONE IT.

I JUST CAN'T BE UP MUCH LONGER,

BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO
PASS OUT FROM THE PAIN.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I MADE IT.

I HAVEN'T GONE THIS FAR
OR DONE THIS MUCH IN SO LONG.

I'M COMPLETELY WIPED OUT
RIGHT NOW

AND JUST WANNA GO TO BED
AND END THIS DAY.

TOMORROW I SEE THE DOCTOR,

AND I HOPE HE CAN HELP AND THAT
THIS WASN'T ALL FOR NOTHING.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM,
ERICA?

I NEED TO --
I DO.

YOU WANT ME TO GO
CHECK THE BATHROOM

AND MAKE SURE
IT'S ACCESSIBLE?

Molly: I REALLY DON'T KNOW
IF SHE'S GONNA MAKE IT.

THAT'S MY CONCERN
AT THIS MOMENT.

WE BARELY GOT OFF THE FLIGHT.

HER LEGS GAVE OUT ON HER
WHEN SHE WAS GETTING UP.

THE BEGINNING WENT FINE,

BUT IT WAS GETTING OUT
THAT WAS VERY DIFFICULT.

YEP. ALL RIGHT.

Dr. Nowzaradan:
This is Dr. Nowzaradan.

HI DR. NOW. HOW ARE YOU?

I WENT TO THE BATHROOM
WHEN I GOT INTO THE HOTEL ROOM,

AND MY URINE IS BRIGHT RED.

AND IT'S NOT --

IT'S NOT ANYTHING
FROM, LIKE, MENSTRUAL OR PERIOD.

IT'S IN THE URINE.

That's bad, so...

-OKAY.
-All right.

-THANK YOU.
-Sure.

OKAY. BYE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG,
AND I'M SO SCARED RIGHT NOW.

I HOPE I DIDN'T DO TOO MUCH,

AND I DIDN'T WAIT
UNTIL MY BODY WAS SO BAD OFF

THAT TRYING TO COME HERE
TO GET HELP

PUSHED ME OVER THE LIMIT,

AND THAT SOMETHING
IS REALLY WRONG WITH ME

OR THAT I'M ABOUT TO DIE.

I JUST WANNA GET THERE AND
FIND OUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME.

Dr. Nowzaradan:
ERICA CAME FROM CALIFORNIA

AND HAD A LONG TRIP,

AND WHEN SHE GOT IN THE HOTEL

SHE SAID SHE'S HAVING BLOOD
IN HER URINE.

THAT KIND OF TRAVEL
FOR SOMEBODY OVER 600 POUNDS

IS TREMENDOUS STRAIN
ON THE HEART AND LUNG

AND CAN CREATE
A LIFE-THREATENING SITUATION.

BUT AIR TRAVEL CAN BE
EVEN MORE DANGEROUS.

THE LOWER ATMOSPHERIC PRESSURE

CAN CAUSE A LOT OF ISSUES
IN HER BODY.

SO WE NEED TO RUN OUR TESTS
AND EXAMINE HER QUICKLY

TO FIGURE OUT
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HER.

[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]

IT'S ALL RIGHT.
WE CAN GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD.

AND IT CAN BE CAUSED BY

A BLOOD CLOT CUTTING OFF
THE BLOOD FLOW TO HER LIMBS.

THANK YOU, GUYS.

IF THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING,

HER BODY CANNOT TAKE THE STRAIN
FOR TOO LONG.

LET ME LISTEN TO YOUR HEART
AND MAKE SURE EVERYTHING'S OKAY.

AND IN HER CONDITION,

CARDIAC ARREST
CAN HAPPEN ANY TIME,

AND WE MAY NOT BE ABLE
TO SAVE HER IF THAT HAPPENS.

**

Erica: I'M REALLY HOPING
THAT THE DOCTOR CAN HELP ME,

'CAUSE I REALLY DON'T FEEL LIKE
I HAVE ANY OTHER OPTIONS LEFT.

BUT THE WORST THING THAT COULD
HAPPEN IS HIM TELLING ME

THAT I'M NOT GOING TO BE
A CANDIDATE

FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

-HELLO.
-HI, DR. NOW.

-HOW YOU DOING?
-I'M OKAY.

ARE YOU FEELING BETTER?

I'M FEELING
A LITTLE BETTER TODAY.

DID THEY GIVE YOU
SOME FOOD TO EAT TODAY?

-MM-HMM.
-AND HOW WAS THAT?

IT'S OKAY.
IT WAS OKAY.

IS THAT THE TYPE
OF FOOD THAT YOU LIKE?

NO.

A LOT OF CARBS AND SUGAR,
ALL DAY, EVERYDAY.

AND SO, WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT
IF IT'S KILLING YOU?

IT'S JUST ALL THE FOOD
THAT I LOVE.

YOU'RE EATING THIS STUFF,

AND YOU KNOW FOR A FACT
THAT IT'S GONNA HARM YOU.

I'M A HARD-CORE
FOOD ADDICT,

AND I NEED HELP TO
STOP EATING LIKE THAT.

IT'S OUT OF CONTROL.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"OUT OF CONTROL"?

-THIS IS A CHOICE YOU'RE MAKING.
-I KNOW THIS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"OUT OF CONTROL"?

FOOD ADDICTION
IS A CHOICE, OKAY?

AND IF YOU DON'T
WANNA BE 600 POUNDS,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
MAKE THE CHANGES.

Dr. Nowzaradan: ERICA HAS HAD
A PATHOLOGICAL DRIVE TO EAT

FOR A LONG TIME NOW.

ACCORDING TO
HER MEDICAL HISTORY,

SHE ALREADY HAD
WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY

WHEN SHE WAS 16 AND IT FAILED

BECAUSE SHE STILL ATE
WHATEVER SHE WANTED

AND BLEW THE STAPLES OUT.

THE ODDS OF LONG-TERM SUCCESS
FOR A PATIENT HER SIZE

IS VERY LOW,

BUT THE PROBABILITY
IS EVEN WORSE

IF THEY ALREADY HAD
WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

YOU ALREADY HAD ONE
WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

-RIGHT.
-AND THAT DIDN'T WORK.

THE PREVIOUS
WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY --

I WAS WAY TO YOUNG AND IMMATURE
TO HAVE SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

NOW THAT YOU'RE
AN ADULT AND MATURE,

YOU'RE STILL NOT FOLLOWING
WHAT THE COMMON SENSE WOULD DO.

YOU NEED TO MAKE
THE CHANGES.

AT THIS POINT, UNLESS WE GET
A HANDLE ON EATING HABIT,

THERE IS NO CHANCE THAT

ANY KIND OF SURGERY'S
GONNA RECORRECT YOU.

SO DON'T FROWN ON THE DIET
THAT WE'VE GIVEN YOU.

THIS IS GONNA BE YOUR DIET
FROM THIS POINT ON.

OKAY.

YOU SAID THAT YOUR SISTER
IS GOING BACK HOME

AND YOU HAVE NO ONE ELSE
TO TAKE CARE OF YOU.

YES.

YOU ARE IN TOO POOR A CONDITION
TO BE ON YOUR OWN,

SO WE'RE GONNA KEEP YOU HERE
FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS

TO HELP YOU
RECOVER FROM TRAVEL.

THEN I'M SENDING YOU
BACK TO CALIFORNIA

AND WE'RE GONNA CONCENTRATE

ON GETTING YOU ON
A 1,200-CALORIE DIET AT HOME.

SO, NO SUGARY DRINK.

THERE'LL BE
VERY LITTLE CARB,

AND IF YOU STICK WITH THE DIET
THAT WE GIVE YOU,

YOU SHOULD
BE ABLE TO LOSE

AT LEAST 50 POUNDS
IN FIRST MONTH.

Dr. Nowzaradan:
IT'S GOING TO BE VERY DIFFICULT

TO CHANGE THINGS WITH ERICA.

SHE HAS THAT HISTORY
OF NONCOMPLIANCE WITH HER EATING

BECAUSE SHE'S MOTIVATED
BY THE IDEA OF CHANGE

BUT NOT REALLY READY
TO DO THE HARD WORK.

I NEED TO GIVE THEM
A WAKE-UP CALL

SO SHE AND HER FAMILY
FULLY UNDERSTAND

THEY NEED TO BE
COMMITTED TO THIS.

WE'RE GONNA CHECK
YOUR WEIGHT.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU CAN
GET UP OUT OF THE BED

AND STAND UP?

YES.
ALL RIGHT?

Molly: I THINK IT'LL BE
VERY DIFFICULT FOR ERICA

TO GIVE UP FOOD,

SWEETS, CARBS.

I'M WORRIED SHE WON'T SUCCEED,

BECAUSE SHE NEVER HAS BEFORE.

BUT SHE'S GONNA DIE
IF SHE DOESN'T.

ALL RIGHT, SO...

661.

Erica: I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT
I LET THIS HAPPEN TO MYSELF,

BUT I'VE JUST BEEN IN DENIAL
FOR MANY, MANY YEARS.

SO, NOW WE KNOW
YOUR REAL WEIGHT.

YOU'RE 661 POUNDS,

AND THIS IS A LOT
OF WEIGHT.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
MAKE SOME CHANGES, OKAY?

AT THIS POINT, I DON'T SEE
A SINCERE WILLINGNESS FROM ERICA

TO CHANGE HER EATING HABIT.

UNLESS SHE HAVE
A CHANGE OF ATTITUDE,

SHE'S NOT GONNA BE A CANDIDATE
FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

ALL RIGHT.
I WILL SEE YOU LATER.

THANKS, DR. NOW.

Erica: THIS WAS NOT WHAT
I WAS HOPING TO HEAR TODAY,

AND I'M FREAKING OUT A LITTLE.

WITHOUT A DOUBT,

I'M WORRIED ABOUT FAILING
ON AN EPIC LEVEL.

SO, MY ONLY CHANCE
IS TO LOSE THE 50 POUNDS

HE SAYS I HAVE TO LOSE.

I DON'T KNOW HOW
I'M GOING TO DO THIS AT ALL,

BUT IT'S GONNA BE
THE MOST DIFFICULT THING

I'VE EVER DONE
IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

[ DOG BARKING ]

I'VE BEEN BACK HOME
FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS.

THE HOSPITAL STAY WAS HARD.

I DIDN'T LIKE BEING THERE
FOR SO LONG,

AND I WAS GLAD TO GET OUT.

BUT AS SOON AS I GOT HOME,
I WAS REALLY FRUSTRATED

BECAUSE JESSIE HAD CLEANED OUT

ALL THE JUNK FOOD
IN MY WHOLE HOUSE.

SHE SAID IF I WAS SERIOUS
ABOUT THIS,

I DON'T NEED ALL THAT.

AND SHE WON'T BRING ME
ANYTHING I LIKE,

SO I'M REALLY ANGRY ABOUT THAT.

BUT I DISCOVERED
I CAN DO FOOD DELIVERY,

AND I'VE BEEN ORDERING
WHATEVER I WANT.

BUT MY SISTER FOUND OUT
AND TOLD DR. NOW ABOUT IT,

AND HE WASN'T HAPPY.

SO HE'S SENDING A NUTRITIONIST
TO MEET WITH ME TODAY

AND HELP ME UNDERSTAND
WHAT I SHOULD BE EATING BETTER.

AND IF I HAVE A LOT
OF JUNK FOOD,

HE SAID SHE'S PROBABLY
GOING TO CLEAN IT ALL OUT,

AND I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD
TO ANY OF THAT AT ALL.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

COME IN!

HI, ERICA. I'M SUSAN.
NICE TO MEET YOU.

-NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO.
-HOW ARE YOU DOING?

-NICE.
-GREAT.

OKAY, SO, DID THE DOCTOR
GIVE YOU A SPECIAL DIET

TO BE ON
BEFORE YOUR SURGERY?

HE JUST SAID 1,200 CALORIES,
VERY HIGH PROTEIN,

LIKE AS MUCH PROTEIN
AS POSSIBLE,

AND ZERO TO LOW CARBS
AND ZERO TO LOW SUGAR.

OKAY, SO, WE HAVE THIS LIST
OF FOODS THAT YOU CAN HAVE.

LET'S SEE
WHAT'S IN YOUR KITCHEN

AND MAYBE SEE WHAT FOODS
THAT WILL WORK FOR YOU, OKAY?

OKAY, SO, LET'S LOOK
AT FOOD PRODUCTS

THAT YOU'VE ORDERED.

SO, YOU SAID
A LOT OF THE FOOD

WAS TAKEN OUT
OF YOUR HOME ALREADY.

YEAH, A LOT OF IT.
THERE'S SOME STILL HERE.

OKAY, LET'S LOOK
IN THE KITCHEN.

OKAY, SO, YOU'VE GOT
SOME GREEK YOGURTS --

80 CALORIES,
HIGH PROTEIN, GREAT.

THE GOOD THING
ABOUT PROTEIN

IS IT KEEPS YOUR BLOOD SUGARS
AT A HIGH LEVEL,

AND YOU MAY NOT GET
AS HUNGRY.

WHEN YOU EAT CARBS,

A LOT OF TIMES
YOUR INSULIN GOES WAY UP.

IT BRINGS YOUR
BLOOD SUGAR DOWN,

AND YOU'RE HUNGRY AGAIN.

ALL RIGHT, SO, I THINK,
TO MAKE IT EASY FOR YOU,

LET'S GET SOME OF THIS FOOD
OUT OF THE HOUSE.

OKAY. I KNOW
YOU'RE NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.

LET'S SEE WHAT WE GOT HERE.
WE GOT THE HERSHEY'S.

AND THESE PRETZELS.

WE'VE GOT SOME FRIES.

ALL RIGHT, SO, IT LOOKS
LIKE WE GOT THE FREEZER

PRETTY CLEARED UP.

TAKE ONE STEP AT A TIME.

IT'S A LOT OF CHANGES
TO MAKE.

BUT NOT HAVING THE FOODS
IN THE HOUSE,

WILL THAT MAKE IT EASIER?
YES.

ALL RIGHT, SO I'M PUTTING
THESE IN THE TRASH.

AND I KNOW THIS IS HARD FOR YOU,
BUT IT'S GONNA BE EASIER.

TAKE CARE.

Erica: I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE
JUST WASTED ALL THAT FOOD.

I'M SO FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW.

BUT I CAN JUST ORDER MORE,

AND THERE'S NOTHING
SHE CAN REALLY DO

TO STOP ME FROM DOING THAT,

SO SHE COMPLETELY
WASTED HER TIME.

THIS IS JUST SO MUCH HARDER
THAN I HAD EVER IMAGINED.

EVER SINCE
I'VE BEEN ALMOST IMMOBILE,

I NEVER SEE MY FAMILY.

I JUST DON'T GO OUT, AND MY
FAMILY DOESN'T COME TO SEE ME.

OH.

DAD?

CAN YOU HELP
PULL HER OUT REAL QUICK?

SINCE I'VE BEEN BACK,
I'VE BEEN ALONE.

BUT I WORKED UP THE COURAGE
AND ASKED MY BROTHER

IF I COULD GO OVER TO HIS PLACE
TO SEE THE FAMILY FOR DINNER.

-HI. I'M HAVING SOME TROUBLE.
-HI.

SOME ISSUES?
GRAB MY ARM.

ONE, TWO, THREE.

THERE WE GO.

OW.

I TOLD HIM I JUST
WANTED TO GET OUT

AND THAT I MISSED EVERYONE.

BUT WHAT I REALLY NEED TO DO

IS ASK IF SOMEONE
WILL MOVE TO HOUSTON WITH ME.

BUT I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT HE'S GONNA SAY.

SO...

I FOUND THIS DOCTOR
IN HOUSTON

THAT MIGHT BE
WILLING TO HELP ME.

WELL, WHAT IS THE BIG TICKET
ABOUT THIS DOCTOR IN HOUSTON?

IS HE YOUR LAST HOPE?

HE'S ABSOLUTELY
MY LAST HOPE.

I THINK HE'S GOING TO ASK ME
TO MOVE TO HOUSTON,

AND NOW I NEED MY FAMILY

TO STEP IN.

OKAY.

I NEED SOMEONE
TO STAY WITH ME

UNTIL I'M MOBILE
AND INDEPENDENT ENOUGH

TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

SO THEN, YOU GOT THE TAB
FOR MY BOAT?

I MEAN,
IT'S MY LIVELIHOOD.

HOW MUCH IS IT
TO PARK YOUR BOAT?

FOR HOW LONG?

AT THE MINIMUM,
SIX MONTHS.

OKAY, YEAH, LET ME JUST
CHUCK MY LIVELIHOOD AWAY

AND JUST THROW IT AWAY.

I'M JUST GONNA SAY IT.

BOAT...
YOU'RE SISTER DYING.

YOU WANT ME TO
JUST THROW IT AWAY?

DO YOU WANNA BURY YOUR SISTER
BY THE END OF THIS YEAR?

WOW. WOW.
YOU'RE STRONG-ARMING ME. OH.

-NO.
-DID I DO WHAT YOU DID?

NO. I DID THIS.

BUT I NEED YOU.

THERE'S NOTHING ELSE
YOU CAN DO?

NO.

WITHOUT THIS DOCTOR
IN HOUSTON,

I WILL FOR SURE DIE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY
ABOUT IT, ERICA.

OF COURSE I LOVE YOU,
AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE.

BUT I NEED MY BOAT.

I THINK IT'S GOOD
THAT YOU LET US KNOW.

THAT WAY,
WE KNOW WHAT YOU NEED.

AND STARTING TONIGHT,
WE'LL FIGURE OUT...

COME UP WITH
A GAME PLAN.

...WHAT WE CAN DO.
OKAY?

TOTALLY OPEN,
BUT RUNNING OUT OF TIME.

Erica:
I CAN'T DO THIS BY MYSELF.

BUT I DON'T WANNA DIE
BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT.

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

**

Erica: I MISSED
MY DOCTOR'S VISIT THIS MONTH

BECAUSE NO ONE IS WILLING
TO GO WITH ME OR HELP ME.

I'VE WORKED HARD,
BUT I HAVE NO IDEA

IF I'M MAKING PROGRESS
OR WHAT I WEIGH RIGHT NOW.

I FEEL LIKE I'M TRYING,

BUT I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THE POINT IS

BECAUSE I HAVE NO ONE
THAT'S GOING TO HELP ME.

I BEGGED MY BROTHER
AND I BEGGED MY SISTER AGAIN.

THE ONLY THING SHE SAID SHE'D DO
WAS COME OVER AND MAKE SURE

THAT I'M COMPLYING
WITH THE DIET,

BUT I DON'T NEED HER FOR THAT.

I NEED HER
TO HELP ME GET SURGERY.

IT LOOKS A LOT BETTER
THAN THE LAST TIME I WAS HERE.

OH, MY GOSH!

GOOD!
IT LOOKS A LOT BETTER.

I'M ACTUALLY
KIND OF IMPRESSED.

WHAT'D YOU DO
WITH ALL THE FOOD?

HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

I'VE BEEN BETTER.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I'M STRUGGLING.

WELL, WOULD YOU LIKE
TO QUIT?

SOME DAYS.

AND YOU JUST WANNA
STAY IN THIS BED?

SOME DAYS.

IT'S BEEN, LIKE, THREE WEEKS
WITHOUT PITA CHIPS AND HUMMUS

AND THREE WEEKS WITHOUT
CHOCOLATE FUDGE CAKE EVERY DAY.

YOU CAN HAVE HUMMUS...

NO, I CANNOT.
...WITH VEGETABLES.

I DON'T EAT VEGETABLES.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
LEARN TO EAT VEGETABLES.

LITERALLY COMES BACK UP.

AND I'M ALSO MAD
'CAUSE EVERYBODY ELSE

GETS TO EAT
THE WAY THEY WANT.

-WHO?
-EVERYBODY THAT I KNOW.

WE'RE NOT 600 POUNDS!

IT'S ALL OVER BILLBOARDS.

IT'S ALL OVER
EVERY TV COMMERCIAL.

YOU CAN'T GO ANYWHERE.

MAYBE WHEN YOU LOSE
A FEW HUNDRED POUNDS,

YOU CAN TREAT YOURSELF TO THAT,
BUT NOT EVERY DAY.

THAT'S BEEN YOUR LIFESTYLE.
THAT'S WHY YOU ARE 600 POUNDS.

WELL, I'M TRYING,
BUT IT'S A LOT HARDER

THAN I THOUGHT
IT WAS GONNA BE.

YOU DIDN'T THINK IT WAS
GONNA BE THIS HARD? SERIOUS?

WELL, I THOUGHT
I WAS GONNA HAVE,

LIKE, MORE, YOU KNOW...

MORE WHAT?
I DON'T KNOW.

-MORE LOVE AND FAMILY SUPPORT?
-STOP YELLING AT ME.

-I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.
-STOP -- STOP YELLING AT ME.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
THE ANSWER IS TO THAT QUESTION.

I FEEL LIKE
I'M IN IT ALL ALONE.

YOU'RE BEING MEAN
RIGHT NOW.

-YOU'RE YELLING AT ME.
-'CAUSE YOU HURT MY FEELINGS.

WELL, I HURT YOUR FEELINGS
BECAUSE I TOLD YOU THE TRUTH.

I USED TO GO EAT ABOUT IT
AND GET OVER IT

SO I WOULDN'T BE MEAN,
AND NOW I CAN'T.

OH, SO YOU CAN JUST
YELL AT ME INSTEAD?

NO, BUT I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO COPE NOW.

NOW YOU NEED TO TURN
TO SOMETHING ELSE.

-LIKE WHAT?
-I DON'T KNOW.

YOU NEED TO FIND SOMETHING
AND JUST STICK TO THAT.

LIKE I SAID, I'M TRYING THE BEST
THAT I CAN WITH WHAT I HAVE.

WELL, KEEP TRYING.

ALL RIGHT, WELL,
YOU'RE NOT THERE YET.

I'LL BE SUPPORTIVE.

"RAH, RAH,"
JUST LIKE MOM WOULD SAY.

Erica:
I FEEL LIKE JUST GIVING UP.

AND THERE'S NOTHING ELSE
I CAN DO EXCEPT WAIT FOR DEATH

BECAUSE NO ONE WILL HELP ME.

THIS PAST MONTH, I FELT
SO OUT OF CONTROL AND ABANDONED.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

SO, I SCHEDULED A CALL
WITH DR. NOW

TO TALK TO HIM
BECAUSE NO ONE WILL HELP ME.

Dr. Nowzaradan: Hello?

HI, DR. NOWZARADAN.
THIS IS ERICA WALL.

HI, ERICA.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?

I'm struggling
with the diet.

I'M HAVING A LOT OF ANXIETY
AND PANIC ATTACKS

BECAUSE
I WOULD ALWAYS EAT,

AND NOW I CANNOT EAT THE WAY
THAT I WANT TO EAT.

YES.

UM, CAN I TELL YOU
THAT'S A POISON?

I KNOW.

OKAY.

In the meantime, I want you
to have your weight checked

SO I CAN MONITOR
YOUR PROGRESS.

...THEN I WANT YOU
TO COME BACK TO HOUSTON.

OKAY, DR. NOW.
I'LL DO THAT.

IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS,
JUST GIVE ME A CALL.

OKAY. THANK YOU.

-Okay, bye-bye.
-BYE-BYE.

ERICA MISSED
HER LAST APPOINTMENT,

AND SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE
DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE DIET.

BUT THE REALITY IS SHE DOESN'T
WANT TO STICK TO THE DIET.

SHE WANTS SOMEBODY ELSE
TO FIX HER PROBLEMS,

AND THAT'S NOT GOING TO WORK.

THERE IS NO POINT FOR HER

TO MAKE THE JOURNEY DOWN HERE

IF SHE HAS NOT LOST WEIGHT.

SO, WE'LL FIND A WAY
TO CHECK HER WEIGHT THERE,

AND WE'LL SEE.

BUT RIGHT NOW WE HAVE
A LONG WAY TO GO WITH HER.

Erica: DR. NOW'S THERAPIST
HE FOUND FOR ME

IS COMING OVER TODAY,

AND I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD
TO IT AT ALL.

TALKING TO A STRANGER
ABOUT MY LIFE IS JUST A WASTE,

BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY
THEY CAN UNDERSTAND

EVERYTHING I'VE BEEN THROUGH,

SO I JUST DON'T SEE THE POINT.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HEY, MISS ERICA.
HOW ARE YOU?

I'M OKAY. HOW ARE YOU?

I'M GOOD!

SO, I ACTUALLY WAS REFERRED
TO YOU BY DR. NOWZARADAN.

WHY DO YOU THINK
HE REFERRED ME TO YOU?

I'M NOT SURE.

WOULD IT BE SURPRISING
IF I TOLD YOU

I HAD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY?

-YES.
-I DID.

I HAD THE GASTRIC BYPASS.

SO, I KNOW WHOLEHEARTEDLY
HOW THIS FEELS.

WELL, LET'S START WITH HOW
DO WE GET TO THIS POINT.

TELL ME A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT HOW YOU GOT HERE.

WELL, I JUST EAT WAY TOO MUCH
OF ALL THE FOODS THAT I LOVE.

I'M JUST REALLY ANGRY
AT MYSELF

FOR LETTING ME
GET TO THIS SIDE OF IT.

MM-HMM.
SO MAKE IT UP TO YOURSELF

BY GETTING YOU
TO THE OTHER SIDE OF IT.

THAT'S A LOT OF STUFF
YOU GOTTA GO THROUGH

TO GET
TO THE GOOD SIDE OF IT.

YEAH. AND?

I DON'T REALLY LIKE
BEING UNCOMFORTABLE.

ARE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE
RIGHT NOW?

YES.

AND GUESS WHAT.
NOTHING'S HAPPENING.

-RIGHT.
-YOU'RE FINE.

MM-HMM.

GOING THROUGH THIS PROCESS IS
GOING TO CREATE MORE PROBLEMS,

BECAUSE IT DREDGES UP THE STUFF
THAT YOU DON'T WANNA DEAL WITH.

YOU START GETTING MORE ANGRY
THAN YOU WERE BEFORE

BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING WITHOUT
YOUR COPING MECHANISM

WHICH IS FOOD, RIGHT?
OKAY.

SO, NOW WE HAVE THE WEIGHT,
THE MEDICAL PROBLEMS,

AND NOW MORE
EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS.

YES. SO, WHY DO YOU WANT ME
TO TALK ABOUT IT?

BECAUSE UNTIL YOU
GO THROUGH IT,

UNTIL YOU TALK ABOUT IT,

WE CANNOT
GET TO THE OTHER SIDE.

IT'S JUST BEEN BURIED
FOR SO MANY YEARS.

SO, WHEN ARE YOU
GONNA BE TIRED OF IT?

DO YOU SEE HOW
ALL OF THAT BAGGAGE

IS KEEPING YOU
WHERE YOU ARE?

-YEAH.
-TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON.

BE UNCOMFORTABLE.

UM...

THE AGE OF 16,

I HAD MY VERY FIRST BOYFRIEND
OR WHATEVER,

AND I MADE THE DECISION
TO SAY YES TO HIM.

HE TRICKED ME AND...

I DID NOT SAY YES
TO HIS BEST FRIEND

THAT WENT RIGHT AFTER HIM,
OR HIS COUSIN,

OR THE THREE
THAT WENT AFTER THEM.

HMM. I UNDERSTAND.

THIS IS NOT YOUR SHAME
TO CARRY, YOU REALIZE.

HOW DO YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW
AFTER TELLING ME THAT STORY?

-GUILTY.
-THAT HAPPENED TO YOU, ERICA.

AND IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.

SOMETHING HAPPENED
IN YOUR PAST

THAT MADE ME YOU
SO UNCOMFORTABLE,

YOU'RE LIKE, "I AM NEVER
GETTING UNCOMFORTABLE AGAIN."

-EXACTLY.
-BUT GUESS WHAT.

THERE'S ACTUALLY
A HEALTHY UNCOMFORTABLE

AND AN UNHEALTHY
UNCOMFORTABLE.

THE UNHEALTHY UNCOMFORTABLE
IS WHEN THERE'S TRAUMA --

YOU JUST NAILED IT
RIGHT THERE.

WHEN WE'RE VIOLATED,
RIGHT?

YOU HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO
BE HEALTHILY UNCOMFORTABLE.

WHAT'S YOUR URGE LIKE
RIGHT NOW,

AS FAR AS YOUR FOOD
IS CONCERNED,

AS YOU SIT IN THIS
VERY UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT?

I'M JUST NUMB.

DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL?

NOPE.

ARE YOU WILLING
TO JOURNAL?

AS FAR AS WHAT?

I WANNA KNOW IT ALL,

BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA
START HAVING A VOICE.

CAN WE DO THOSE THINGS?

YES.

OKAY, SO WE'RE
GONNA BE IN TOUCH.

-OKAY.
-THIS IS THE BEGINNING.

REMEMBER, I CAN'T WANT THIS
MORE THAN YOU DO.

GOT IT.

[ CHUCKLES ]

OH, GOODNESS.

-YOU'RE AWESOME.
-THANK YOU.

-YOU ARE TOO. THANK YOU.
-WE'LL TALK SOON.

OKAY. THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

Erica: I DON'T WANNA
KEEP FEELING GUILTY

FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO ME

AND HOW I'VE ENDED UP.

AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M EVER
NOT GOING TO FEEL THAT WAY,

SO IT REALLY JUST FEELS
LIKE A LOST CAUSE.

BUT AT THE SAME TIME,

I KNOW IF I DON'T
FIGURE THIS ALL OUT,

NOTHING'S GOING TO CHANGE,

AND I'M NOT GONNA BE AROUND
MUCH LONGER.

**

Erica: TODAY,
I'M GOING TO SEE WHAT I WEIGH.

DR. NOW WANTED ME
TO GET MY WEIGHT CHECKED,

AND I'VE BEEN SCARED TO DO THAT.

AND I ASKED HIM FOR MORE TIME
TO STICK TO THE DIET,

SO I'VE BEEN REALLY TRYING.

I STARTED JOURNALING
LIKE THE THERAPIST WANTED.

I'M NOT SURE
IF IT'S REALLY HELPED,

BUT IT'S BEEN NICE
TO GET SOME THINGS OUT.

OH, WHERE IS IT?

ARE YOU GONNA GO THERE?

-NOPE. SEE YOU LATER.
-NO!

HAVE A GOOD TIME!
[ LAUGHS ]

I HAVEN'T BEEN PERFECT,

BUT I'VE BEEN REALLY TRYING
TO LOSE THE WEIGHT,

AND NOW I REALLY
WANNA KNOW WHAT I WEIGH.

I JUST HOPE EVERYTHING
I'M DOING IS GOING TO PAY OFF

AND I'M NOT
JUST WASTING MY TIME.

Man: ALL RIGHT. THIS IS
GONNA BE THE BIG MOMENT.

Erica: SO I'M REALLY SCARED
TO FIND OUT WHAT I WEIGH.

LIGHT BUMP.

WE CAN BOTH JUST TAKE AN ARM
AND HELP HER UP.

I WANT TO DO THIS, AND I DON'T
WANNA KEEP LIVING THIS WAY

AND PROVE MY FAMILY RIGHT,
THAT I CAN'T CHANGE.

OKAY, RIGHT HERE.

-I'M DR. JONAS.
-HI, DR. JONAS.

-I'M ERICA. NICE TO MEET YOU.
-NICE TO MEET YOU.

I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE HERE
TO WEIGH IN TODAY.

-YES.
-AND WHAT ARE YOU SHOOTING FOR?

THE DOCTOR WANTS ME
TO HAVE LOST 50 POUNDS.

OKAY, WELL,
LET'S SEE WHAT IT IS.

OKAY.

[ BEEPING ]

[ GASPS ]

-ROB!
-WHAT?

LOOK!

FROM 661.

THAT'S GOOD, YEAH?

[ LAUGHS ]

I THINK IT'S GOOD.

LET'S GO CELEBRATE, HUH?

GOOD JOB.

-HAPPY?
-YEAH.

SO, NOW YOU'RE
A CANDIDATE, RIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE.

THIS IS PROBABLY THE MOST
YOU'VE EVER LOST, HUH?

THAT'S GOOD.
GOOD JOB.

OH, MY GOD.

TAKE CARE
AND GOOD LUCK.

THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.

I'M SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW.

AND I HOPE DR. NOW
HEARS ABOUT THIS

AND BELIEVES IN ME AND APPROVES
ME FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

I TOLD DR. NOW
ABOUT MY WEIGHT LOSS,

AND HE WAS VERY HAPPY,
SO HE APPROVED ME

FOR MORE TREATMENT
DOWN IN HOUSTON.

BUT HE WASN'T SURE
WHAT KIND OF SURGERY

HE COULD DO ON ME
BECAUSE OF MY STOMACH STAPLING,

AND I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT TO EXPECT

OR IF I'M EVEN GETTING
ANY SURGERY.

BUT I STILL HAVE TO COMMIT
TO MOVE DOWN THERE.

ERICA?

-HI, MOLLY.
-YOU READY?

Erica: MY SISTER AND MY BROTHER
STILL WON'T STAY WITH ME,

BUT MOLLY'S GONNA HELP ME
MOVE DOWN THERE.

Molly: DO YOU WANNA JUST TAKE
THOSE AND PUT THEM IN THE CAR,

AND MAYBE TAKE THEM
IF WE NEED THEM?

-OKAY.
-OKAY.

I MEAN, WHAT'S A PAIR
OF SHOES WITH 17 BAGS?

Erica:
I'M TRYING TO GET MY LIFE BACK,

AND I FEEL LIKE NO ONE REALLY
SUPPORTS ME OR BELIEVES IN ME.

COME ON.

AND THAT MAKES IT
SO MUCH HARDER

TO TRY
AND DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

YOU LOVE ME TODAY?

I LOVE YOU, RYAN.

Molly: LET'S GO.

GET IN.

YOU KNOW, IF WE JUST
LEAVE ALL YOUR BAGS HERE,

YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

GOD. AH!

THIS IS GREAT.
[BLEEP] OKAY.

YOU SHOULD PROBABLY
SHUT ME IN!

OKAY, I'D LOVE TO.

BETTER NOT
GET ON MY SEAT.

I'M IN A LOT OF PAIN,
AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN LEFT YET.

Molly:
NOBODY HAS THIS MUCH CRAP.

Erica:
I'M TERRIFIED RIGHT NOW,

AND I'M JUST REALLY HOPING
THIS ISN'T A HUGE MISTAKE.

**

I'M VERY HUNGRY,
AND I'M VERY TIRED.

AND MY BODY HURTS.

AND I JUST WANT
TO GO TO SLEEP.

READY?
ONE, TWO, THREE.

OH, CRAP.

AND DOWN.

Erica: NO HUMAN BEING
SHOULD HAVE TO EXPERIENCE

THIS AMOUNT OF PAIN,
THIS TYPE OF PAIN.

IT'S THE WRONG-SIZED BED.

SO, WHAT
DO YOU WANT TO DO?

I DON'T KNOW.
I'M...

-I'M OUT OF IT RIGHT NOW.
-ALL RIGHT.

WELL, LET'S GO GET
YOUR 15 EFFING BAGS.

'CAUSE YOU'RE STAYING HERE,
WHETHER YOU'RE SITTING

ON THAT DAMN COUCH ALL NIGHT,
OR SOMEWHERE.

YOU'RE STAYING HERE.

LEAVE IT RIGHT THERE.

WE NEED TO MOVE THE BED
TO THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

OH, YOU MADE A DECISION?

I DON'T KNOW HOW...

I DON'T KNOW HOW'D
YOU BE ABLE TO MOVE IT

'CAUSE THE WINDOW'S
RIGHT THERE.

YOU CAN MOVE IT
IN FRONT OF THE WINDOW.

OKAY, YOU NEED TO MAKE A
DECISION, OR I'M GONNA LEAVE.

IT'S VERY DIFFICULT
TO CONSTANTLY

BE SUBMISSIVE TO EVERYTHING
IN LIFE AND HELPLESS.

GET YOUR ASS
ON HERE.

-DO YOU WANT THE HEAD UP?
-I GUESS.

DO YOU WANT
THE RAILING DOWN?

HOW DO YOU DO THIS AT HOME?
I'M NOT THERE.

IT DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE
IT'S THE SAME THING AS AT HOME.

I'M SURE IT'S NOT THE EXACT
SAME MODEL, NO, ERICA.

THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T
WANT TO DO THIS.

THEN LET'S GO HOME.

YOU WANT TO GO HOME?

BUT DON'T EVER ASK ME
TO DO ANYTHING ELSE, EVER.

I'M NOT COMING BACK HERE.

I'M DONE WITH THIS CRAP.

YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF.

GET UP AND GET OVER HERE.
NOW.

ALL RIGHT.

CAN I HAVE MY FOOD,
PLEASE?

HERE.

DO YOU HAVE
ANOTHER DRINK?

GOOD BYE.
I'M GONNA LEAVE.

Erica: OH, MY GOD.

I DON'T CARE.
I DON'T [BLEEP] CARE!

I DIDN'T WANT TO COME HERE
IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Molly: SEE YOU TOMORROW.

I'LL EAT [BLEEP] WHATEVER
THE [BLEEP] I WANT,

AND JUST [BLEEP] DIE
IN CALIFORNIA

IN MY [BLEEP]
COMFORTABLE HOUSE...

WHERE I WANT TO BE.

I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE.

I WILL FIND A WAY TO GET
BACK HOME TO CALIFORNIA.

IT'S BEEN A WHILE
SINCE I'VE SEEN DR. NOW.

AND I'M REALLY NERVOUS
TO GET ON THE SCALE.

I'VE HAD A ROUGH MONTH,

SO I FEEL LIKE MAYBE
I'VE GAINED SOME WEIGHT

SINCE MY LAST WEIGH-IN.

PLUS, DR. NOW SAID

I'M GOING TO MEET
MY PERSONAL CARE ASSISTANT,

WHO IS GONNA HELP
TAKE CARE OF ME IN HOUSTON.

AND I DON'T REALLY LIKE
MEETING NEW PEOPLE,

SO I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THAT.

SO, SHE DOES BEST
WHEN SHE TURNS

AND KINDA GOES BOTH FEET
AT THE SAME TIME.

Erica:
I KNOW DR. NOW HAS EXPECTED ME

TO KEEP LOSING WEIGHT.

BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH

OR WHAT HE'S GOING TO SAY
IF I'VE GAINED.

I'M JUST HOPING HE FIGURES OUT

HOW TO GIVE ME SURGERY
AND HELP ME.

-592.
-OKAY.

Molly: THAT'S
AN 18-POUND LOSS.

I WISH IT WAS MORE.
[ CHUCKLES ]

OKAY. OW.

I'M OUT OF THE 600's.
I JUST REALIZED THAT.

TOOK ME A MINUTE.
[ LAUGHS ]

IT'S BEEN A VERY LONG TIME

SINCE I'VE WEIGHED
LESS THAN 600 POUNDS.

BUT I'M DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF,
'CAUSE I WONDER,

IF I DIDN'T MAKE
THOSE POOR EATING CHOICES,

HOW MUCH FARTHER
I COULD'VE GOTTEN.

'CAUSE IF I JUST WOULD'VE DONE
WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO,

I COULD'VE MADE
SO MUCH MORE PROGRESS.

I DON'T KNOW WHY
I ALWAYS SABOTAGE MYSELF.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

-HI, DR. NOW.
-HEY. HOW YOU DOING?

HOW YOU DOING?
SO, YOU HAVE LOST SOME WEIGHT.

YOU ARE FINALLY
MAKING PROGRESS.

AND I'M PROUD OF YOU
FOR THAT.

BUT, UH, YOU SHOULD HAVE
LOST A LITTLE BIT MORE,

BECAUSE IT TOOK
HALF A YEAR TO DO IT.

SO ARE YOU GOING TO
STICK TO YOUR DIET?

I'M JUST GONNA TRY
REALLY HARD.

ARE YOU DOING
YOUR OWN COOKING?

YOU EATING OUTSIDE,
OR...?

-I DON'T KNOW.
-DON'T LOOK AT ME.

-I DON'T KNOW.
-DON'T LOOK AT HER.

SHE IS NOT GONNA BE
PREDICTING OF WHAT YOU CAN DO.

I DON'T KNOW.

JUST TO KEEP WORKING ON IT.

ERICA HAS MADE SOME PROGRESS.

BUT SHE TOOK A LOT LONGER

TO GET IN THE PROGRAM
THAN SHE SHOULD HAVE.

I THINK SHE'S READY
TO BE HERE IN HOUSTON,

BUT I'M NOT CONVINCED THIS
IS NOT TEMPORARY PROGRESS,

AND SOON SHE'LL FIND A REASON
TO START OVEREATING AGAIN.

YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE
OF PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.

DING, DING, DING!

YOU'RE HOPING THAT EVERYTHING
AROUND YOU HAPPENS,

AND MAGICALLY YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE EVERYTHING CHANGE.

I WOULDN'T
HAVE MADE THIS MOVE

IF I DIDN'T THINK
I COULD DO IT.

BUT YOU SEEM LIKE YOU'RE HOPING
SOMETHING OUTSIDE OF YOURSELF...

-...TO CONTROL THAT.
-NO, I DON'T.

I'M VERY NERVOUS.
AND I'M SCARED.

THAT'S ALL. I'M JUST --
I JUST GOT HERE.

BUT I KNOW
WHAT I NEED TO DO.

I WANT HER TO UNDERSTAND

THE HARD PART
IS NOT OVER YET,

AND SHE STILL HAS
A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

I WANT YOU TO STICK TO THE DIET
AND INCREASE YOUR ACTIVITY.

-OKAY?
-OKAY.

I WANT YOU TO LOSE
ANOTHER 25 POUNDS

OVER THE NEXT MONTH

AND SHOW ME
THAT YOU CAN DO THIS.

THEN WE'RE GONNA SET YOU UP
FOR AN ENDOSCOPY.

LOOK INSIDE OF YOUR STOMACH,
SEE WHAT OPTIONS WE GOT,

FROM YOUR PREVIOUS
WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, OKAY?

OKAY.
THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT.
I'LL SEE YOU SOON.

ONE, TWO, THREE.

TALKING TO DR. NOW IS OKAY,

BUT HE'S VERY INTIMIDATING.

AND I DON'T THINK THE DOCTOR

REALLY THINKS
I'M GOING TO KEEP DOING THIS.

YEAH. SIT.

OH, MY GOD.

SO I'LL TRY TO MAKE
MORE PROGRESS, LIKE HE WANTS.

I'VE COME ALL THE WAY
DOWN HERE TO DO THIS,

AND I CAN'T LOSE HIS HELP.

ONE, TWO, SEVEN.

IF I DO, I LITERALLY
HAVE NO OTHER OPTIONS

TO SAVE MY LIFE.

TODAY MOLLY AND RYAN ARE
GOING BACK HOME TO CALIFORNIA.

BUT THEY HELPED ME MOVE
INTO MY APARTMENT.

Molly: 12 GRAMS OF PROTEIN.
80 CALORIES.

I WISH
THEY WOULD STAY LONGER.

OKAY, ERICA.
WE HAVE TO GO TO THE AIRPORT.

WHAT IF HE SAYS
I'M HAVING SURGERY?

-ARE YOU COMING BACK?
-OH, I DON'T KNOW.

YOU KNOW,
I GOT A LOT GOING ON.

I THINK, IN A MONTH,

YOU'RE GONNA BE
TELLING ME YOU LIKE IT,

AND YOU'RE HAPPY.

OKAY.
I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

-THANK YOU.
-OH, YOU'RE WELCOME.

-THANK YOU.
-YOU'RE WELCOME.

IT'S BEEN SUCH
A GREAT JOURNEY.

I'M SORRY
FOR ALL THE SACRIFICES

THAT YOU'VE BOTH
HAD TO MAKE TO DO THIS.

I DEEPLY, SINCERELY
APPRECIATE IT.

-MORE THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW.
-SHOW US.

AND NO ONE ELSE
WOULD DO IT FOR ME.

SO THANK YOU.

SHOW US...
HOW MUCH YOU APPRECIATE IT.

AND I'M SORRY
I'M A PAIN IN THE ASS.

ARE YOU GETTING
WHAT I'M SAYING?

SHOW US...
HOW MUCH YOU APPRECIATE IT.

I WILL DO WHAT
I NEED TO DO, MOLLY.

PROMISE.

MOLLY WANTS ME TO KEEP
SHOWING HER THAT I CAN DO THIS.

BUT IT JUST FEELS
REALLY STRANGE BEING HERE.

GOODBYE, ERICA.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT MY ADDRESS IS.

I'M OVERWHELMED

BECAUSE I HAVE A LONG ROAD
AHEAD OF ME.

VERY, VERY LONG, DIFFICULT ROAD.

AND I'M SCARED.

I HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE.

AND I'M VERY NERVOUS...

THAT I CAN'T DO IT ALONE.

**

Dr. Nowzaradan: ERICA IS IN THE
HOSPITAL TODAY FOR AN ENDOSCOPY.

I WANTED HER TO LOSE
ANOTHER 25 POUNDS,

TO GET UNDER 567.

SO WE WEIGHED HER,
AND SHE'S 574 POUNDS.

AN 18-POUND LOSS
STILL SHOWS ME

THAT SHE'S MAKING PROGRESS.

SO I'M MOVING AHEAD
WITH HER ENDOSCOPY.

ERICA NOT ONLY HAD
A PREVIOUS WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY,

BUT SHE BLEW HER STAPLE LINE
WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER,

AND IT HAD TO BE REPAIRED.

SO THERE COULD BE SO MUCH
SCAR TISSUE IN HER STOMACH,

NO OPERATION WOULD EVEN
BE POSSIBLE FOR HER.

THE STOMACH STAPLING IS
A VERY OLD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

THE SHORT-TERM RESULT
OF THIS OPERATION WAS VERY GOOD.

BUT THE FACT THAT SHE
HAD IT DONE SO LONG AGO

AND IT HAD TO BE REPAIRED

CREATES A LOT OF ISSUES
THAT COULD PREVENT US

FROM DOING ANOTHER PROCEDURE
IN HER STOMACH.

ALL RIGHT.
THERE'S A LOT OF DAMAGE IN HERE.

AND IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.

I CAN SEE A LOT OF STAPLES
ARE STILL THERE.

AND THE SCAR TISSUE
HAS FORMED AROUND THEM.

AND HER STOMACH IS DEFORMED
FROM THE SURGERY.

OKAY, LET'S PULL THE CAMERA OUT.

ERICA HAS A LOT OF DAMAGE
IN AND AROUND HER STOMACH.

AND NO PROCEDURE IS POSSIBLE.

BUT I MAY BE ABLE
TO REMOVE THE STAPLES

AND DETERMINE WHAT WE CAN DO
AT THAT POINT.

SHE'S REALLY WARM.

SHE'S HOT. FEVER.

LET ME SEE WHAT'S
GOING ON WITH HER LEG.

ERICA HAS NOT BEEN
TAKING CARE OF HERSELF.

SHE HAS CELLULITIS

THAT HAS CAUSED
AN INFECTION IN HER LEG.

SO WE NEED TO KEEP HER
IN THE HOSPITAL

AND START HER
ON ANTIBIOTIC IMMEDIATELY

TO GET THIS UNDER CONTROL,

BECAUSE SHE'S
NOT GOING TO SURVIVE

IF THIS INFECTION
GETS ANY WORSE.

Erica: I CAME TO THE HOSPITAL
FOR A SIMPLE PROCEDURE,

AND THEN I GOT STUCK HERE
FOR A LOT LONGER THAN I WANTED.

I WAS UPSET, BUT DR. NOW SAID

MY CONDITION WAS PRETTY SERIOUS.

BUT TODAY, HE'S FINALLY GOING
TO RELEASE ME FROM THE HOSPITAL.

AND I'M REALLY HAPPY ABOUT THAT.

HELLO.

SO, I'VE GOT SOME
GOOD NEWS FOR YOU.

WE'RE GONNA SEND YOU HOME.

I'M GONNA GIVE YOU
SOME ANTIBIOTICS

FOR A FEW MORE DAYS.

AND THE HYGIENE OF THE SKIN

IS GONNA BE
VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOU.

-OKAY?
-OKAY.

ERICA CAME TO THE HOSPITAL
A FEW WEEKS AGO.

AND WE MANAGED TO GET
HER INFECTION UNDER CONTROL.

BUT THEN I KEPT HER
A LITTLE BIT LONGER

TO GET HER WEIGHT DOWN
A LITTLE BIT MORE.

SO I'M GONNA CHECK
YOUR WEIGHT TODAY.

AND WE'RE GONNA GET YOU
GOING HOME, OKAY?

Erica: OKAY.

547. THAT'S GOOD.
YOU'RE MAKING PROGRESS.

BUT YOU NEED TO LOSE
ANOTHER 25 POUNDS

BY THE NEXT TIME
I SEE YOU IN THE CLINIC.

OKAY.

BUT HERE IS THE BIG THING --
I WANT YOU TO GET MORE ACTIVE.

BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE SURGERY
AND YOU GET A BLOOD CLOT

BECAUSE YOU WON'T GET UP,
IT CAN KILL YOU.

SO GET MORE ACTIVE.

-OKAY.
-ALL RIGHT.

-I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
-OKAY.

-ALL RIGHT.
-THANK YOU.

-MM-HMM.
-THANK YOU.

OKAY?

Dr. Nowzaradan:
ERICA IS MAKING PROGRESS,

BUT HER ATTITUDE
CAN STILL BE VERY POOR.

AND THAT JUST MEANS
THAT I NEED MORE EVIDENCE

THAT SHE'S NOT GOING TO
FALL BACK INTO BAD HABITS

WHEN SHE GETS THE SURGERY.

ALL RIGHT, MISS WALL.
IT'S TIME TO GO, MA'AM.

SO I'M SENDING HER HOME

TO SHOW ME THAT SHE CAN KEEP
MAKING PROGRESS ON HER OWN.

AND IF SHE DOES,
I'LL SCHEDULE HER FIRST SURGERY,

TO REMOVE
ALL HER STOMACH STAPLES

AND REPAIR ALL THE DAMAGE
AROUND THAT.

WE'RE GONNA HELP YOU
SLIDE UP A LITTLE BIT, OKAY?

Erica: I'M JUST
A LITTLE FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW.

I'VE BEEN DOWN IN HOUSTON FOR
A WHILE DOING EVERYTHING I CAN.

AND THE ONLY THING
THAT'S HAPPENED

IS I GOT STUCK
IN THE HOSPITAL.

...TWO, THREE.

I STILL DON'T KNOW IF
I'M GETTING WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

AND I KEEP
HAVING TO PROVE MYSELF.

SO THIS ALL JUST FEELS
LIKE A WASTE SO FAR.

SINCE I'VE BEEN IN TEXAS,

I HAVE NOT REALLY BEEN
EATING VERY MUCH

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT
TO GO OVER THE CALORIE PERIMETER

THAT DR. NOW HAS SET FOR ME.

SO THERE'S REALLY
NOT MUCH FOR ME TO EAT.

I'M REALLY HUNGRY ALL THE TIME.

BUT SINCE I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL,
I'M SCARED TO DEATH

BECAUSE OF EVERYTHING
DR. NOW TOLD ME.

SUCCEEDING IN
THIS WEIGHT-LOSS JOURNEY

IS LITERALLY LIFE-OR-DEATH.

BUT IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE

I'M EVER GOING TO
BE ABLE TO DO THIS.

BECAUSE IT'S SCARY FOR ME.

AND THE ONLY REASON
THAT I'M TAKING A WALK

IS BECAUSE DR. NOW TOLD ME
ABOUT GETTING A BLOOD CLOT,

PULMONARY EMBOLISMS,
AND ALL THIS STUFF

THAT COULD HAPPEN WITH SURGERY
IF I DON'T MOVE, MOVE, MOVE.

I FEEL LIKE
I DON'T HAVE MANY OPTIONS

BECAUSE THEY ALL
COULD POSSIBLY KILL ME.

SO, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

IT'S TOO OVERWHELMING.
IT'S TOO DAUNTING.

IT'S TOO INTENSE.

I'M FEELING
COMPLETELY HOPELESS RIGHT NOW.

**

Erica: I'M ON MY WAY
TO DR. NOW'S OFFICE.

AND GETTING TO AND FROM
DR. NOW'S OFFICE

IS EXTREMELY PAINFUL.

I'M SITTING ON THE FLOORBOARD.

THIS IS NOT NORMAL.

NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS NORMAL.

I'M SUPPOSED TO BE LOSING
25 MORE POUNDS THIS MONTH

AND FIND OUT ABOUT MY SURGERY.

I'M STILL TRYING TO DO
WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO.

BUT I NEVER KNOW
WHAT THE SCALE'S GOING TO SAY.

ERICA WALL?

EVEN IF IT'S GONE DOWN
THE LAST FEW TIMES,

I'M WAITING FOR WHEN
THAT NUMBER GOES BACK UP AGAIN

AND I LOSE EVERYTHING.

SO I'M NERVOUS TO SEE
IF I GOT UNDER 524 POUNDS,

LIKE HE WANTED ME TO.

[ LAUGHS ]

I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW GOOD I DID.

I LOST MORE THAN
WHAT THE DOCTOR WANTED.

SO I'M VERY PROUD OF MYSELF
RIGHT NOW.

-HEY, ERICA.
-HI, DOC.

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

I'M FINE, DR. NOW.
HOW ARE YOU?

I'M DOING OKAY.
YOU'RE DOWN TO 521 POUNDS.

AND THAT'S GREAT.
I'M PROUD OF YOU.

SO I HAVE SOME
GOOD NEWS FOR YOU.

I'VE BEEN STUDYING
YOUR ENDOSCOPY VIDEO.

AND I THINK I'VE FIGURED OUT
HOW TO REMOVE YOUR STAPLES,

FIX THE DAMAGE
FROM THAT SURGERY,

AND GIVE YOU WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY
ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

THAT WILL LEAVE YOU
WITH A MINI GASTRIC BYPASS,

THAT WILL HELP YOU
TO LOSE MORE WEIGHT.

SO I'M GONNA APPROVE YOU
FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

-OKAY?
-OKAY.

ERICA HAS SHOWN ME
THAT SHE'S WILLING TO TRY.

SO I'M WILLING TO DO ALL I CAN
TO GIVE HER THE TOOLS

TO KEEP HER ON TRACK
FOR THE LONG TERM.

THIS OPERATION IS
GOING TO BE VERY DIFFICULT.

BUT I HAVE DETERMINED A PLAN
THAT I THINK CAN BE SUCCESSFUL

AND IS WORTH ATTEMPTING SAFELY.

-I'LL SEE YOU NEXT MONTH.
-OKAY.

THANK YOU.

Erica: I'M SO HAPPY
AND PROUD OF MYSELF.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS IS FINALLY HAPPENING.

AS THE SURGERY DAY
GETS CLOSE,

I'M GETTING MORE NERVOUS.

AND I'VE CONSIDERED BACKING OUT.

I DON'T KNOW
IF I WANT TO DO THIS.

AND I'VE BEEN CALLING MY FAMILY

AND LEAVING THEM MESSAGES
TO CALL ME,

BECAUSE I WANT TO ASK THEM

IF THEY'D COME TO HOUSTON
TO TAKE ME HOME.

[ CELLPHONE VIBRATES ]

-Hey, Erica.
-HI, JESSIE.

How are you feeling
about getting surgery?

I'M REALLY, REALLY SCARED.

AND I'M CHICKENING OUT.

AND BACK AND FORTH.

Well, you shouldn't
chicken out,

because Molly's
coming Wednesday,

and I'm coming
Thursday.

WAIT. WHAT?

ARE YOU JOKING RIGHT NOW?

No.

WELL, THIS MAKES ME
VERY HAPPY.

I hope so.

You won't be alone.

You'll have two
of your favorite girls

right there with you.

SHE TOLD ME SHE
WASN'T COMING, JESSIE,

SO I'VE BEEN CRYING FOR
LIKE 24 HOURS STRAIGHT.

Yeah, well,
we figured out a way

so that she can come
and I can come, too.

I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH
THIS MEANS TO ME.

I didn't want you
to be alone.

I REALLY THOUGHT
I WAS GOING TO BE.

No. You're not.

Well, I'm gonna
go back to work.

OKAY.

THANK YOU FOR CALLING ME

AND LETTING ME KNOW
THE GOOD NEWS.

Yes. Love you.

I LOVE YOU, TOO, JESSIE.
THANK YOU.

IF THEY WEREN'T COMING,

I KNOW I'D CHICKEN OUT
AND CANCEL MY SURGERY.

I LOVE MY ENTIRE FAMILY
SO MUCH,

SO FOR THEM TO MAKE
THE SACRIFICES AND SHOW UP,

IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME.

Dr. Nowzaradan:
TODAY WE'RE ATTEMPTING

TO DO A VERY BIG OPERATION
ON ERICA

IN MULTIPLE STAGES.

FIRST, I'M GOING TO
REMOVE THE STAPLES

THAT ARE IN HER STOMACH,

AND REPAIR THE DAMAGE
THAT THE STAPLES DONE.

WITH HER PREVIOUS
GASTRIC STAPLING,

WE MAY HAVE A LOT
OF SCARRING TISSUE.

WE'RE GONNA SEE IF IT'S POSSIBLE
TO DO A FULL BYPASS

OR DO A SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY.

WE CAN TURN THE ROOM LIGHT OFF.

BUT THERE ARE A LOT
OF UNKNOWN FACTORS.

SO I HAVE TO TAKE EACH STAGE
A STEP AT A TIME

AND SEE IF ANY OF THIS
IS EVEN POSSIBLE.

Jessie: IT HAS BEEN REALLY
DIFFICULT WAITING FOR NEWS,

BUT I AM SO HOPEFUL
FOR THIS SURGERY,

BECAUSE SHE'LL BE ABLE
TO ENJOY LIFE

AND DO THINGS WITH ME
AND BE AROUND FOR THINGS.

Dr. Nowzaradan: OKAY.
I'M REMOVING THE STAPLES NOW.

LAST COUPLES ONES.

NOW I'M RESHAPING THE STOMACH
TO FIX THE DEFORMITY.

AND I'M GOING TO DO
GASTRIC SLEEVE.

DURING GASTRIC-SLEEVE OPERATION,

WE REMOVE 70% TO 80%
OF THE STOMACH,

AND WE LEAVE A LONG,
SKINNY TUBE IN PLACE.

ALMOST DONE.

SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY
WILL GIVE THE PATIENT

AN OPPORTUNITY
TO BEGIN LOSING WEIGHT

BECAUSE THEY WILL FEEL FULL
VERY QUICKLY AFTER EATING.

ALL RIGHT. ROOM LIGHT ON.

ALL RIGHT. ALL FINISHED.

ERICA'S SURGERY WENT WELL TODAY.

THIS IS GOING TO HELP ERICA
TO LOSE MORE WEIGHT.

BUT THIS IS REALLY JUST
A START OF HER JOURNEY.

SHE HAS A LONG ROAD AHEAD,

AND SHE'S GOING TO NEED
A LOT OF HELP TO GET THERE.

BUT SHE'S BACK
ON THE RIGHT TRACK.

Erica: IT'S BEEN ABOUT A MONTH
SINCE MY SURGERY,

AND I'VE BEEN FEELING
REALLY GOOD.

SO I'VE DECIDED I WANTED TO
GO SOMEWHERE AND DO SOMETHING.

LOOK AT THAT!
THERE'S A PYTHON!

A YEAR AGO,
I WOULDN'T HAVE DREAMED

I COULD GO OUT AND DO THIS.

LET'S GO.
MOVE IT ALONG.

LOOK IT.
THEY'RE HUGE.

FOR ALMOST FIVE YEARS,
I HARDLY WENT OUT IN PUBLIC.

AND I NEVER THOUGHT I'D GET
THIS CHANCE AT LIFE AGAIN.

BUT I'VE LEARNED THAT
I'M A LOT STRONGER THAN I KNEW.

AND I KNOW THERE'S A LOT
I STILL HAVE TO FIGURE OUT,

AND IT'S NOT GOING TO BE EASY.

BUT I'M TRYING,
AND I'M WILLING TO KEEP TRYING.