Original subtitles

If you'd be so good as to follow me,

ladies and gentlemen.

So the game begins, huh?

Thanks a lot.

You're all here, marvellous.

Luncheon is served

with a side dish of...

...murder!

Now, first of all, meet your detective,

actor and national treasure Anthony Hart,

or, as you know him,

Elliot Flame from television's "Phoenix."

Um, Aunt Hel,

I thought I was supposed to play the victim?

You were.

Dad?

Thunder rumbling ]

One fatal stab to the heart.

DS Mallowan.

Ah, nice of you to join us.

We were expecting you half an hour ago.

I know, I know, car trouble.

But don't worry, sir, I'm on it.

I just gotta order a new part, well, a really old part.

A detective needs a car that works not a mobile skip.

Absolutely, sir, great point,

couldn't agree more.

Now, half the guests were on a garden tour all morning

so we've ruled them out and sent them home.

But we need statements from the others

and the Chief Super wants this wrapped up

as quickly as possible to keep the eyes of the press off us.

It'll be like a circus here tomorrow.

You're saying I've only got 24 hours?

What? No.

Aww. Can you?

Makes it feel proper dramatic.

Look, wrap this up quickly,

and keep the force from press scrutiny,

and that promotion's as good as yours.

Great, where's Chaudhry?

Farming dispute.

Gibsons and the Lewis' out near Cefnisel.

It's all kicked off there. I've got to go too.

Two officers for warring farmers?

No. Kayleigh's been suspended from school

for spreading malicious rumours

about a teacher which I happen to know

are perfectly true but that's besides the point.

Well, don't worry, sir. I've got it down here.

Right, thanks. Keep me posted.

Oh, also, you two were teenage girls once,

say hypothetically your father locked you in a police cell

to teach you about responsibility.

do you think that would be a good life lesson or...?

- No. - No.

Okay.

Right, cause of death, stab wound directly to the heart.

Angle of entry suggests the killer

was standing in front of him, no defence wounds.

Interesting detail about the weapon, though.

It's not a knife, it's a letter opener.

Other strange detail. He's wearing makeup.

Foundation over his left eye.

Someone punched him.

Fairly recently from the look of it.

- Anthony Hart. -Mm.

Legend.

Sounds wrong to say but I thought he was already dead.

Me too!

Can I go home?

This is a murder investigation.

Nobody is going to leave this house

until I've taken a statement.

Look at the police notebook, honey.

The attention to detail.

I'm not sure I buy those shoes on a cop though.

Okay, er, sorry, what are both your names?

Huh? Oh.

Well, uh, I'm Tannis Fairweather,

owner of a South African diamond mine.

Patty and Bill Marcus.

I keep trying to explain to him

that this isn't part of the game.

It's not. It's absolutely not. Someone died.

Sure "officer."

Okay, erm, can everyone apart

from the family of the deceased please wait outside?

- Right. - Gladly.

I need a drink.

Who would want to kill dad?

It's horrible.

So you both live here with Anthony?

Uh, no, ugh. No, I live in Ibiza.

I am only here because dad came home.

My brother came back last month.

He'd signed up to do these events for a year.

This is the Hart family home.

Oh good, that'll be him.

I asked a friend to come round.

I need someone to be with me.

This is a murder scene,

you can't be inviting random people along.

He's not a random person. He's a very dear old friend.

Oh, right! Why didn't you say so?

Oh, Johnny, my hero.

Fighting through the rain to comfort me.

Helena, it's just so awful.

Anthony, murdered?

Unthinkable, isn't it?

I've got a house full of strangers

and I just needed someone familiar.

Oh.

Um, well, I, uh, I know what you're going through

and the last thing you want to be doing is cooking

so I picked some food up.

Oh, Johnny.

This is why I needed you.

You understand me.

I think you may be one of the few people

I've never understood.

Erm, can I have a word with Johnny is it?

Mm.

This is your new case, is it?

Yes and it's very time sensitive.

If I wanted your help, I would have called.

Oh, yeah, dial-a-lackie of course, yeah.

It's been quite a bit of time since you pestered me,

I thought perhaps you'd passed me over

now that you're up and running.

Hey! If you're going to touch evidence, glove up.

Oh, these horrible things, gah!

Make me look like an ageing smurf.

- Eww, ugh! - Okay.

Interesting murder weapon, though, isn't it, eh?

A table covered in steak knives, yet, they use a letter opener?

It tells us that the weapon is significant,

pregnant with meaning to our malefactor.

Or they just grabbed it from the house.

Helena's not the type to own a letter opener.

Precision's not in her armoury,

she'd tear her envelopes open,

a very passionate woman.

Is she now, John Chapel?

Is that why you're here?

To get a leg over?

No, I am not here to "get my leg over"

you appalling vulgarian.

Helena is a dear friend. We actually met through Anthony.

Some of my happiest memories are in this house.

So you were mates?

Very good mates, for a while. Then, sadly, bitter rivals.

"Phoenix" on ITV, "Caesar" on the BBC.

- It got quite feisty. -Hm.

Well, he won in the end.

What?! You think Anthony Hart was more successful than me

because he chose to defect to America?

Why didn't you ever go to America?

Oh I was asked.

Begged even but I could never make the dates work.

Anyway, can you picture me sitting round a pool

all day in my Speedos?

Oh, I've had enough traumatic images

in my head today with the dead body.

Do you mind?

There was a time when I happened to look

rather striking in a Speedo.

Couldn't get away with it now, though, too much danglage.

Alright, okay.

I'm going to go and ask Helena

what she knows about the murder weapon.

And I'll see what I can find out from the other guests.

But don't be too long with Helena.

She really must be suffering terribly.

Interesting Chapel.

Hm.

Very interesting.

Hm.

Never seen it before in my life.

I'm fairly certain it isn't from the house,

though I have just had four rather strong whiskies.

Right. Very interesting.

Actually not that interesting, dunno why I said that.

So you and John Chapel. What's the story there?

Oh, brilliant, sensitive John.

Would wake a girl up with a poem and a buttered teacake.

You used to "wake up" with John Chapel?

Yes, is this relevant?

Very. It's essen-- essential background.

Oh, right.

Johnny used to stay here a lot back in the '80s and,

well, we had a bit of a fling.

Nothing serious.

He was a wonderful love maker.

O, God. God, no...

And, then fate intervened. I went on holiday to Marrakech.

While I was away, he met the lovely Elin.

They were soul mates from the off.

I came back with a deep tan,

a gorgeous rug, and a broken heart.

- Aww. -Mm.

At least you got a rug.

Mm.

And you've stayed in touch all this time?

No. He went off grid when Elin died.

Poor thing. Wouldn't even pick up the phone.

It's only recently he's got back in touch.

Why?

There's a young lady in his life.

Nothing like that. An acquaintance.

But, erm, whatever she's done,

he's really back to his old self.

Seems to be alive again.

Mm.

Did I mention...

he was a wonderful love maker?

Okay, I think we're done. Yep.

Oh, Marvellous. Well, um...

I think I might go for a bit of a lie down.

Do wake me up if you find the killer.

There you go, you did say tea, yeah?

Actually I asked for a extra hot latte macchi--

Oh, that might be a challenge.

Izzy's a nice girl but she's slightly useless

for a silver service waitress.

So was so spooked earlier, she bolted upstairs

to the bathroom when she saw the body.

Now that's interesting.

Excuse me.

Oh, yes. Oh, no, just walk away.

I was definitely done talking, so.

Don't mind me.

Quite the tricky "murder"

we've got going on here, eh?

This is a murder.

A man is dead.

I've tried, Mr. Chapel.

I'm Patty Marcus.

This is Bill.

Charmed.

Sorry love, I think that's got sugar in.

It's the Margaritas all over again.

The Margaritas?

Anthony asked me to make him a Margarita earlier.

He took one sip, said it was disgusting, and he lost it.

When was this?

At the welcome drinks when we all arrived.

Then he cleared off.

Locked himself in his room all day,

even though we'd paid good money to meet him.

-Yeah. - Erm, Dennis Williams.

I can make cocktails.

I worked the bar in Cardiff Infernos.

I made the best Skittle Bombs out of anyone.

Oh, I don't doubt it, Cardiff Infernos,

I wouldn't dare cast aspersions on your mixology skills.

Aww! Thanks love.

Look, I know probably now is a bad time

but I just gotta say I am such a huge fan.

I've even watched your masterclass DVD.

Really? Well, that's amazing.

Yeah, we found it in grandad's underwear drawer

when we were clearing his house out.

Belting seeing how hard you work, fair play.

Oh, well, you know, acting,

proper acting, can be incredibly taxing.

And nurses think they've got it tough.

Sorry, just pulling your leg.

Marvellous sense of humour.

It's alright, I'm not immune to a bit of ribbing.

You seem like a sharp tack, Dennis.

What's your take on all this?

I think it's the curse of "Phoenix."

The curse of "Phoenix"?

You have to tell me all about this.

Well, there was a girl worked on the show who died years ago.

And two actors suffered heart attacks while filming.

And now this.

There's no such thing as bloody curses.

Anthony wasn't killed by a myth or a legend.

It was someone in this house.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need the loo.

Prostate the size of a cantaloupe.

Can I borrow Mr. Chapel.

Please, excuse me.

Yeah, alright.

How can I help detective?

So, what do you make of our guests?

Interesting little bunch, yeah.

Well, Dennis, something not quite right there, no, no.

But what is it Chapel, what is it?

Performance, artifice, it's not his thing at all,

yet he's here at a murder mystery event?

No, that dog won't hunt, no.

- Plus he mocked me. - Ah right, yeah.

He bruised your ego so he must be our killer?

Anything actually useful?

Anthony spent all afternoon in his room.

- Have you searched it yet? - Not yet, but I was going to.

- Oh, yeah? - Do you want to come?

Well, I really ought to go and see Helena.

She's having a lie down.

But you can wake her up in a bit

with a poem and a buttered teacake.

What?

Mmm, come on.

Oh, well.

Somebody hand delivered a letter to Anthony.

And, it's missing.

Dean!

Yes, thank you.

Yeah, I need to bring my car in again.

The usual, and there's a burnt hair smell.

Oh, and it keeps making this noise.

Er, well, sort of like, erm...

Thank you. Thanks, thanks. Bye.

It's very interesting.

Car sentimentality, usually get it with men.

Or parents, but I don't get it with you.

There's nothing to get, I like my car.

I like VHS tapes but I don't watch them any more.

It's not as simple as that.

My car... it was Sian's.

She left it to me so it means a bit more

than a flipping VHS tape.

It was funny, we used to pretend to be you.

Driving around, looking for crime.

She was a weirdo too, I see? No wonder you were close.

Oi! We weren't weird, we were cool.

And I don't want to watch all of that

just get crushed up in to a little metal cube

so just leave my car alone?

Oh, yeah.

Very odd mix of magazines.

Anthony didn't seem the celeb junk mag type to me.

There's nothing here.

Do you think this looks like someone

who was planning on staying for good?

Well, it's hard to say.

Us actors aren't all about possessions.

Our accumulated baggage is on the inside.

I don't think he was staying.

Helena said he signed up to do these events for a year.

If he was going to do a runner,

that would give her a pretty big motive.

Helena? Fratricide? It's preposterous.

Why don't you go and, erm,

rouse her from her slumber, see what you can find out?

I am here to comfort Helena not interrogate her.

Anyway, we should be talking to the son, Owen.

He just came back to see his father who is then murdered?

Seems very coincidental.

Okay, deal.

I'll go talk to him.

You go charm the lady of the manor.

Erm...

I, uh, I haven't read this weeks,

and, um, well, I need to flush out a little suspect of my own.

So...

Ibiza?

Sounds nice.

Lots of parties?

That's what my life used to be like

but not now.

- I run a wellness retreat. - Why Ibiza?

Couldn't you run a wellness retreat here?

Ugh.

Nobody gets well in Powys.

For a start you need vitamin D and sunshine.

Do you have to do that now?

Yoga's great for processing grief.

Oh!

So you grew up here?

Oh, do you know sometimes

I wish I just had a more wholesome,

humble upbringing like you probably had.

Excuse me? We had Sky.

And we went to Crete.

Did anything out of the ordinary happen

running up to the event?

No, I don't think so.

Although...

Well, a few days ago, Dad was acting strange.

How?

Kept trying to get rid of everyone.

Sent Aunt Hel off to town to get supplies

and told me to make myself scarce for the afternoon.

But I came back early and he wasn't alone.

He was with a woman.

Ohh! 'Kaaay.

Can you describe this woman?

Yeah, um, she was young, dark hair.

A bit like you I suppose.

But elegant and stylish.

Wait. I'm stylish.

Have you seen my little crop jackie?

My little croppy jackie.

You, up on the roof, bellowing poetry in a hurricane.

We all thought you were mad.

No, I think the technical term was steaming, I think it was.

Latvian vodka if I remember correctly,

which I probably don't.

Oh, Johnny.

I feel awful laughing in all this.

Are you okay, Helena?

Really?

I have to be. There is much to be done.

And this place doesn't look after itself.

Is it not a bit much for you on your own?

Sometimes.

It would be nice to have someone else around to help.

Owen comes now and then, usually when he's run out of money.

Perceptive of him to come to you for money

rather than Anthony.

Well they'd had their troubles.

And he did rather run off the rails in his youth.

I say that's what being young's for

but, uh, Anthony was very hard on him.

Even yesterday they had a row.

- What about? - No idea.

Now that's very odd.

This door's always locked.

That's the third door that's like it,

there are two more upstairs that have been unlocked.

Very strange.

Thank you for being here.

Makes everything that much more bearable.

I just want everyone out of this house.

I think the police will be done soon

and everyone will be out of your hair.

Yeah.

That's not happening.

The road's flooded.

I'm sorry but you will all have to stay here overnight.

Oh!

Little predictable but I like it.

Izzy, where have you been?

I was just taking the bins out.

In this weather?

Is everyone here insane!?

I suggest everybody locks themselves in their rooms

until the morning when hopefully the road will be clear.

I'm certain of two things, Atkins.

One, there is a killer in our midst.

And two, they shall presently lament

trying to commit a murder under the nose of Charles Caesar.

We've had a statement in from the neighbours, sir.

Do you have to watch that now?

It helps me think.

It's distracting.

It transports me back to my character.

It's conflicting my psyche--

- Oh, this is a good bit. - Mm.

Oh.

Chaudhry!

Sorry, I was meant to call you earlier

but I've been with the Lewis' all day.

I've got to get team in from Welsh Water

to clear out the drains tomorrow before Dave Lewis, and I quote,

"puts Tom Gibson through the wall."

Aww, that sounds really boring.

Chaudhry.: Are you joking?

They're gonna let me hold the big hose.

I can't wait.

Anyway, I've been looking into Anthony Hart.

You're gonna want to hear this.

He was booked on a flight back to LA next week.

So he wasn't sticking around?

No, but also,

he filed for bankruptcy in the US.

He was skint.

Okay, bye!

Well the bankruptcy explains why Anthony was doing those events.

He needed the money.

That's a very unimaginative conclusion.

Oh, for-- Okay, why do you imagine I'm wrong?

Because if Anthony needed money

his agent could have got him an advert.

It would have been easier and ultimately less humiliating.

But bankruptcy? We're talking a lot of money.

I bought a boat once from just doing an advert

for Japanese vacuum cleaners.

Mind you it wasn't just for the money.

I actually believed in Saku Saku ne Clean.

O-kay. Well, while I Youtube that,

why don't we call it a night?

You could, um,

go for a nightcap with Helena.

No, I don't think so.

Why? She clearly fancies you.

Don't you like her?

Of course I do.

What's stopping you?

You're single.

I haven't been a single man since 1986.

I have a wife.

You can't keep living in the past.

Oh, that's rich coming from someone driving around in hers.

Now just leave it, okay?

Okay. Fine.

Johnny?

Argh!

Helena, I'm so sorry, oh.

- Oh, don't know which is-- -Oh, this-- this is me.

Oh, yeah, right. This is mine.

Sorry about that.

Ooh, I see you've found your old dressing gown.

- Yeah. - It still fits.

Yeah, it does, yeah.

Brought back some memories.

Fond memories I hope.

Oh, yeah.

Well, um...

I-- I don't think I'm going to get back to sleep right now.

Maybe a nightcap might be a good idea?

Maybe.

Yes.

You do that, then, and uh,

I'd better not join you, no.

I'll only end up on the roof

shouting poetry again, yeah.

Bit dangerous in this weather, I'd be like a lightning rod.

Pfft.

Have to get my head down, eight hours and all that,

advisable for our age group I believe,

I heard it on a podcast.

I won't, yes, I won't keep you, night-night.

Sleep tight. Well, I'll--

Have a nighty night.

I've slept on it and I think I know

who the mystery woman that Owen saw is.

What if, right, she is the lover Anthony came back for

but she had a jealous husband,

and the husband joined the murder mystery event

to kill his love rival.

Dennis.

What Dennis had a glamorous younger wife?

- Mm. - What do they talk about?

His enlarged prostate?

No, no, no, no.

Well, I don't see you coming up with any better ideas.

While you were sleeping, my subconscious,

my antennae were busy deducing.

It's obvious who this woman is.

Getting everyone out of the house, the unlocked doors?

It must have been an estate agent.

Anthony was going to sell the house?

Well, it's the only logical reason for him to come back.

He needed money fast, it was his only asset.

An estate agent would want to see every room,

hence the unlocked doors.

Mm. I'll get Chaudhry to look into it.

Okay, if Dennis didn't do it...

how about Owen?

He could be our killer.

- Why? - Because he's annoying?

And I don't trust him.

All his yoga and his yoga gear and his yoga pants--

Like you have more of an issue with yoga than Owen.

Well, it's just stretching and everybody that does it

thinks they're Gwyneth Paltrow and I'm sick of it!

Plus he smells of biscuits.

- Mm. - He's guilty.

If we just knew why he and Anthony argued,

we could prove it.

Well, you're not going to find the answer in there.

Actually...

Can't this wait?

I'm kind of busy here because our useless maid

for the weekend just leaves cocktail stuff lying around?

It won't take long.

Ooh, tequila.

I love a tequila slammer.

Yeah, you seem like the sort of person who would.

Right, we need to talk now.

About this.

"Love Island Star's Hideaway Regret"?

- Oh, uh... - Well, now, uh...

Just, yeah...

"London Party Animals."

That would be you rolling out of a cab in the Soho?

That's why you and Anthony argued.

There is no wellness retreat.

You've been living in London,

partying on daddy's money.

He found out and summoned you home.

You had to make it look like you were living in Ibiza.

Hence the fake tan.

Looks the part but as anyone whose mam

loves a fake tan as much as mine knows,

it smells like biscuits.

The nose doesn't lie.

Fine. Yeah.

Dad called me and told me to "Come home at once!"

And, well, you know, you don't ignore the big chief.

And Anthony showed you the magazine?

Mm. He said it was the final straw.

No more money.

- Pretty big motive for murder. - Mm.

Okay, now wait a minute.

Okay, he was always threatening to cut me off all the time.

Plus, I could just borrow from Aunt Hel.

Or bump him off and inherit everything?

No. I-I-I wouldn't. I-I couldn't do it.

You know, most of the zen stuff's an act

but deep down I'm actually a really peaceful guy.

Hugs not drugs. Though I do really love drugs.

Look if anyone wanted to hurt dad it was that old guy.

He threatened him.

You threatened to punch Anthony.

Was it you that gave him the black eye?

No.

We had words, that's all.

I was standing up for the girl. The maid.

Izzy? Yeah.

He had a pop at her about his Margarita being too sweet

so I told him to pick on someone his own size.

Oh.

Chaudhry. Yeah. I've got to take this, sorry.

Chaudhry? What did you get?

Hopefully we can all go home soon.

Not soon enough as far as I'm concerned.

See, this is what I can't understand about you, Dennis.

Everyone else, I get why they're here.

They enjoy all this, the artifice.

So do I.

"Nurses think they've got it tough"?

Oh, no, you've no time for dressing up, make believe.

You're a practical man.

So why have you spent a small fortune to be here?

You're right.

I'm not like the others.

Oddballs.

I think a lot of TV crime stuff's just nonsense.

Agreed.

It's actually what made "Caesar" so remarkable.

But this isn't about "Caesar," sorry, carry on.

I am a sucker for "Phoenix."

Really? I found it to be formulaic.

But it's all about the taste of course.

But, please, carry on.

My daughter was a huge fan.

We'd watch it together every week without fail.

What happened to your daughter, Dennis?

She moved to Canada years ago.

I don't see her anymore.

It's only Canada.

Flights are cheaper than coming here.

It's not that simple.

We fell out.

Things can't go back to how they were.

No. They never can.

That's why I came here really.

Daft old sod.

I saw it advertised and thought

it might feel like me and her were still together somehow.

I didn't want to admit it,

because, well, it makes me sound bonkers.

You're not bonkers, Dennis.

Well maybe you are but, er...

...we're all a bit bonkers, aren't we?

Ah, yes.

Okay, I will need you to come in

and make an official statement.

Yes, Bye, love you.

Oh, dunno why I said that. Argh, hang up.

That was our estate agent.

My estate agent.

You thought it was Dennis' younger wife, remember?

Potato tomato.

She did meet with Anthony to put the house on the market.

She called back to confirm some details a few days ago

but said the call was answered by Anthony's sister.

- No. - Yes.

Helena said they were still considering it

and hadn't confirmed 100% whether they'd be selling.

No, no, no, Helena would never sell the house.

Which puts Helena in the frame.

There was a phone call from some woman

but I was rushed off my feet.

I just said what I thought would get her off the line.

Oh, oh! Ow!

I must have, uh, I must have got a shock from the light switch.

You didn't confront Anthony?

I didn't think it was serious.

Weird.

Didn't hurt me,

but then I didn't heart my hand attacking Anthony!

God, I am good. Admit it.

Maybe not the time but very good, yes.

Is it true Helena?

The selfishness.

typical Anthony.

He was trying to sell my home.

You couldn't let that happen, so you didn't.

- You stopped him. -No, no, no.

We argued, I was furious, and I hit him, but that was all.

I needed him to make these events a success.

I'd spent months putting everything in place.

Not strictly true. Not everything.

Think Chapel, yes.

The name cards were in the wrong place.

But I triple checked all the place settings

myself yesterday morning.

It was definitely in the wrong place. See?

Well, that's even stranger.

The name's wrong. There was no Lorna Maddison.

Patty was supposed to be a different name.

Mary Murphy O'Toole.

I came up with all the names myself

and I was particularly pleased with that one.

Very Irish.

It's been tampered with.

So who is Lorna Maddison?

Lorna Maddison, worked as a production assistant

on the TV show "Phoenix."

- Where is she now? -Dead.

Died in a car crash in 2007 whilst working on the show.

According to the inquest, she fell asleep at the wheel.

She was driving from set to London

after a 15-hour working day

to go pick up Anthony Hart's mail from his house.

All that to pick up some mail? What an arse.

Left behind a husband and a 6-month-old daughter.

- Aww. - Also, we've had an update

from Baxter on the toxicology.

Said she's rushed the results through

so you owe her a Pizza Express.

Every time. What else did she say?

Well, the cause of death is still a letter opener,

but Anthony had traces of ethylene glycol in his system.

Somebody had tried to poison him.

How much did everyone hate this guy?!

Ethylene glycol?

Found in brake fluid.

Not enough to kill him.

Apparently, it's quite easy to hide.

It tastes quite sweet.

Thanks Chaudhry.

Well, that explains why Anthony thought

there was too much sugar syrup in his Margarita

Hm.

And it does rather...

implicate Izzy in his death.

But why would she do it?

I don't know.

The only motives I can see come from the family

and Izzy is not family.

She might be.

Yeah, of course.

The name card,

the letter opener, Lorna Maddison.

It all comes back to her.

Somebody wanted revenge for what happened.

- Who? -Lorna's daughter.

The 6-month-old baby girl.

- She'd be about 18 now. - It's possible.

She clearly lied to get the job working here.

Silver service waitresses don't tend to come straight

from Cardiff Inferno's.

But why go to all this bother?

Why not just bump him off in the street?

She didn't want to just kill him.

She wanted him to know why.

She wanted him to be scared.

That's why she posted the letter under his door.

- It was a threat. - Where's the letter?

She took it from Anthony's room.

Think about it,

Izzy's reaction to seeing the body

was to run upstairs to the bathroom.

Why? There's a toilet by the kitchen.

She couldn't risk you finding it in the house.

Didn't it seem strange

that she went to take out the bins during a storm?

You'd wait until later wouldn't you?

unless you had to get rid of something urgently.

Why would I kill him? It makes no sense.

A lot of things make no sense.

Like why you lied your way to a waitressing job.

You did it to get close to Anthony, didn't you?

- No. - Yes.

You tried to poison him,

and when that didn't work, you stabbed him.

No. Why would I?

Because he killed your mother.

Mam's dead?

I spoke to her this morning.

You're not Lorna Maddison's daughter?

No. My mam's called Trish.

Are you sure?

What, that she's alive or that she's called Trish?

I mean, I'm pretty sure on both but I could ring her and check.

Ah! Damn!

Ugh! I was really hoping your mam was dead!

Not in that way.

But something about you doesn't add up

so you better tell me why you're really here now

or I am taking you down the station.

Now let's start with why you put a letter

underneath Anthony's door.

It wasn't a letter.

It was a headshot. She's an actress.

She lied her way here to get closer to Anthony,

thought it would help her career.

Same as she thought you would.

Ah, that's why she was keen

to talk about my process.

That's a relief,

I did worry she was flirting.

With you? Ego much?

As if she wants to see you in your speedos

with all your danglage.

It does take us back to square one though.

I was sure she was the daughter.

It did feel right.

Emotionally.

An obsessive, needing revenge for the loss.

Righting the past.

Ah, Chapel.

Chapel...

Yes!

Oh, you-- you fool. It's obvious.

It wasn't the daughter, but it was the daughter.

Just once, please, make sense.

The road has been cleared now so you're all free to go...

- Oh. - ... once we've sorted out

the little matter of who killed Anthony.

Now, this murder,

is at its heart,

about a woman called Lorna Maddison.

A young woman who died because of Anthony Hart

18 years ago, driving to collect his post.

Hence the letter opener.

I really like the word "hence," I should use it more often.

The letter opener, was significant.

Symbolic.

Wasn't it, Dennis?

No way!

You were the big inconsistency from the start.

The "huge fan" of Phoenix who wasn't interested in the show.

I told you, I liked it because me and my daughter were into it.

Your daughter. Yes.

You were telling the truth there.

I could tell how much you miss her.

But there had been no falling out between you.

You'd do anything to see your daughter again...

but you can't.

Because Lorna is dead.

The only genuine emotion you showed

was when you saw Anthony shouting at Izzy.

Seeing him push around a young woman,

the way he'd pushed your daughter around.

Do you deny Dennis?

That man.

Maybe he wasn't in the car...

but he killed my girl.

Every time I saw his smug face on the telly,

this thing grew inside me.

I knew I'd have to finish him off one day.

Just had to find out how to get to him.

You famous people are really cagey

about your whereabouts and that.

Oh, I mean, quite wisely in your case.

Then I saw an ad for this, couldn't believe my luck.

First thing I thought of was the letter opener.

Seemed fitting.

"Here's your mail."

I'd snuck off and changed the place cards earlier.

Said I needed the loo.

In actual fact I've got the prostate of a 25 year old.

Then I came down before lunch.

Asked for an autograph for my little girl.

He asked me her name. I told him.

Lorna Maddison.

They were the last words he heard.

You killed my dad?

Saved you the job in the end.

What?

You'd already started your plan to kill your dad.

Poisoning him with brake fluid in the margarita.

I told you I know how to make cocktails!

Owen wouldn't murder his father.

He had to.

Anthony had threatened to cut him off.

Good work, detective. I completely missed that.

This is absurd. There's no evidence.

The tequila bottle. Empty but there'll be traces.

Yeah, okay.

You got me. That's very good.

Hm. Yeah.

When I saw him at the table, the tears were real.

I was so relieved.

Thank you, Dennis.

Thanks to you,

I walk free and inherit everything, eh?

Yeah, no.

You're still going to be arrested.

It's still attempted murder.

What!?

No.

Please, no. Uh, erm, it was a joke.

Uh, doesn't grief do that to some people.

Gallows humour. No?

Oh, Come on, it wasn't even enough poison to kill him.

It would've taken me weeks.

A good lawyer will get me off.

And how are you going to afford a good lawyer?

Erm-- Ooh! Aunt Hel! Maybe, you could--

You little shit.

You'll never receive a penny from me again.

That'll be your ride, boys.

We can come to an arrangement? Me and you?

A mutual arrangement, backs get scratched?

A bribe, there I can't be any clearer.

Watch the shirt.

There you go Chaudhry,

didn't miss out on all the excitement

with your dead sheep?

Didn't you hear?

It wasn't a sheep carcass at all.

It was a humans.

What?

It'd been in the drain for years.

Clarke wants us on it straight away.

I'll see you back at the station, alright.

Alright.

I need to head straight down to the station.

What, in your car?

You going to make it?

Oh, hope so,

but maybe you are right.

Maybe I do need to start thinking about,

maybe, thinking about...

letting it go.

Well you don't want to be stuck in the past, like Dennis.

Be sure to give us a good review on Tripadvisor.

-Oh, that's for sure. - It was so great.

Thanks.

Johnny? You're not going?

Yeah, I have to get back.

Uh, Helena, um, if you're not, uh, preoccupied

in doing-- You know, with the, uh...

Are you trying to ask me out?

I think I am, yeah.

Dinner?

Talk about old times,

maybe make some new times.

Yes, I'd-

I'd love that.

Right, excellent, great, lovely.

Oh, Johnny Chapel, you've got me all flustered.

I can't believe the vicar did it.

We'll be booking again for next year.

Oh! Before you go, John Chapel.

Can I get one more photo of the super sleuths together, huh?

One more? You've been taking photos this whole time?

Yeah.

Please tell me you've not sent them to anyone?

- Well, just our kids. - The kids.

You got quite the response on social media.

- Oh! - Oh, God.

No, no, no. Delete.

- Delete, delete them all. - Delete?

- Delete them all. - Oh, al-alright.

- Delete them all, uh... - What's the matter, honey?

I'm so fired.

Ohhhh!

We're in the paper.

"Washed up actor"?

Oh, well, this won't do.

Oh, Clarke's calling me.

I'm dead. I'm dead.

H-h-hi!