Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,159
GENTLE PIANO MUSIC
2
00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:11,559
This programme contains very
strong language from the start
3
00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:13,319
I'm just gonna put that...
Is it OK if I put that...?
4
00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:15,399
Thank you.
5
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:16,720
Oh...
6
00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:23,959
{\an8}So sorry. I think
my sleeve is, um, sort of
7
00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:25,679
{\an8}inside of me somehow.
8
00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:28,159
{\an8}Let me help you.
No, no, no. No, I've got it.
9
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:30,040
{\an8}I'm just gonna take a breath.
10
00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:34,480
{\an8}Sorry.
11
00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:37,719
{\an8}I'm normally really good
at taking my coat off.
12
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:40,079
{\an8}I think I'm just tired.
13
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:41,759
I got up really early
this morning to do,
14
00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:44,799
um, a sunrise aura reset
15
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,999
because my best friend Eddie,
16
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,399
um, she has this amazing new
friend who's, like, a healer.
17
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,039
And, um, I'm getting to,
like, learn all about her
18
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:54,639
because she's, like, always there!
19
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:56,319
PHONE VIBRATES
Ohh. Sorry.
20
00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:57,920
It's...
21
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,079
SHE GROANS
22
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:06,359
But, um, I'm just here to have
lunch with my dad. Um...
23
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:09,039
We've actually been estranged
for three years,
24
00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,239
but, um, I'm in, like,
a really good place.
25
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:13,319
I think he should see that.
26
00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:18,679
And, you know, also, he will
die one day, fairly soon,
27
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,839
due to his lifestyle choices.
28
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,959
I don't want to feel guilty
at his funeral.
29
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:26,079
He's just very... Well,
you know what dads are like.
30
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,359
My dad died before I was born.
31
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,319
That is so...
Do you have a reservation?
32
00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:33,240
Yeah. It's under Mark Anderson.
33
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:36,999
The other party is already here.
34
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,520
This way, please.
35
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,840
LAUGHTER AND CHATTER
36
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,879
You can make it on your own, right?
37
00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:49,479
Yep.
38
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,359
I told Ricky, "You'll have
to do it without me."
39
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,159
There's nothing funny about
watching people
40
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:55,159
working in an office.
41
00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:56,679
LAUGHTER
42
00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,599
He goes on about it
every time I see him.
43
00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,080
Maggie! There you are. Sit!
44
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:03,680
Are you all right?
45
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,160
You're not taking that
Thai valium again, are you?
46
00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:11,879
Is there anything
you want to say to me?
47
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:15,079
Hello?
We haven't spoken in three years.
48
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,799
Oh, yes, we have. No, we haven't.
49
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,479
I saw you last year
at Emma's wedding.
50
00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:20,319
That was six years ago.
51
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:21,839
I don't think so.
52
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:24,159
We're estranged. Did you...?
53
00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:26,159
Did you not know that?
54
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,040
No, I did not know that.
55
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:35,919
Have you lost weight?
56
00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:37,479
You look less...
57
00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:39,999
puffy. Ah...
58
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,360
Excuse me. I'm just going to...
59
00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:46,080
...piss.
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
60
00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:09,559
DOOR OPENS
61
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:12,480
INDISTINCT CHATTER
62
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,959
LINE RINGS
63
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,679
Hey!
Hey! Oh! Oh, my God.
64
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,199
It is going so badly with my dad.
65
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:37,039
Wait, let me put you on
speaker. Whitney's right here.
66
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:39,679
Oh, no, no, no. That's not...
Hey, Maggie.
67
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,759
I hope you're wearing
your unity crystal.
68
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,079
Have you led him through
a brief grounding chant
69
00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:45,959
like I suggested? Not yet.
70
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,999
Then get back out there, girl.
71
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,320
It's just...
72
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,839
...Dad hadn't actually noticed
we were estranged,
73
00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,919
which begs the question,
74
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,119
can you even be estranged
from someone
75
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:00,999
if the other person has no idea?
76
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:05,359
You know what would really help
is a percussive bonding ritual.
77
00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:08,079
OK, great. Yeah, I'll try that, then.
78
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,279
WHITNEY LAUGHS
Oh, no. Oh, I'm so sorry.
79
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,759
No, it can't be done by an amateur.
80
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,719
Oh, I wish it was that simple.
81
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:16,439
Could you do it, Whit?
82
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:19,199
I mean, I've perfected
the technique.
83
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:20,799
You know what?
84
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:24,079
I'd love to give this gift
to you, Maggie.
85
00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:26,239
Could you bring Pops to us?
86
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,319
My rainstick does not travel well.
87
00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:31,439
Ah, yeah. No, that...
That sounds amazing.
88
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:34,199
I just don't know if I could
get my dad to go along with it.
89
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,439
Mags, I know your dad's a menace,
90
00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,959
but Whitney's
done this 100 times.
91
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:42,120
She's the reason Angelina lets
Jon Voight round for Christmas.
92
00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:45,800
Well...
93
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,199
...don't ask, don't get, right?
94
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,959
Oh! Amazing!
95
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,279
You're really starting to become
96
00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:54,999
someone of substance, Maggie.
97
00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,839
SHE LAUGHS
98
00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:58,959
CALL DISCONNECTS
99
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:00,680
Great.
100
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:13,599
So, even though you haven't
noticed, we are estranged.
101
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,639
I'm not sure that's possible
102
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:19,359
if one of the estranged is
unaware that he's estranged.
103
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,319
Yeah, I'm pretty sure a normal parent
104
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,639
would have noticed they
haven't spoken to their daughter
105
00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,239
in over three calendar years.
Oh, it hasn't been that long.
106
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,879
Yes, it has.
All right. We can pretend it has,
107
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:30,039
if that's what you prefer.
108
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:33,079
Oh, we don't need to pretend,
because it is the literal truth.
109
00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,199
Your generation
is wholly responsible
110
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,439
for the rampant overuse
of the word "literal".
111
00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,119
It literally makes me want to carry
112
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,919
a dictionary around
so I can throw it...
113
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:43,999
Listen, you reached out to me.
114
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,679
I have been doing great without you.
115
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,199
Work has been amazing.
I have a play...
116
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,639
So sorry, Mr Anderson.
117
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,359
I wanted to send a little
something over.
118
00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:54,639
I'm a huge fan. I had
the DVD box set of Man Ager.
119
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:57,079
I used to watch it literally
every day before school.
120
00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,359
I wish you were still on TV.
Oh, please.
121
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,239
Come on. It's a young man's game.
122
00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:04,119
You could do Taskmaster.
You would be so funny.
123
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,800
Could we get another water, please?
124
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,360
Of course. Oh, thank you so much.
125
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,639
You know, Maggie,
it's really telling
126
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,760
how people treat restaurant staff.
127
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,799
We were having a conversation.
128
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,919
No, WE were having a conversation.
129
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,919
As I was saying... Glass of fizz?
130
00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:30,240
Uh...
131
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:35,240
Are you drinking again?
132
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,080
Oh, come on, Maggie, try and relax.
133
00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,960
PHONE VIBRATES
134
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,959
Uh, hey, just out of interest,
what do you think
135
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:13,159
of people who are, like,
into crystals and...?
136
00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:14,599
First to go at my revolution.
137
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,360
Yeah, that's what I thought.
138
00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:24,279
Come on. You were telling me
about your work.
139
00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:25,480
Um...
140
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,359
Yeah. So, um,
141
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,039
my play Like Glue
nearly won this huge award.
142
00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:32,600
Only nearly?
143
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,639
Well, I got down to the final five
144
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:37,199
out of thousands
of submissions, so...
145
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:38,559
Oh, wow.
146
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,039
My agent said a lot of theatres
are really interested in it.
147
00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,399
So what's your plan B?
148
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:43,839
Sorry?
149
00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:45,519
Well, you've you been trying
to get the writing going
150
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:48,599
for some years now.
Isn't it time that, you know,
151
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:51,000
you considered exploring
other avenues?
152
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,120
Uh...
153
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:02,400
Yeah, I'm gonna need
another one of these.
154
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,480
I am going to have the burger, please.
155
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,639
Actually, I'll have
the, um, Caesar salad.
156
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,879
Yeah. I'll have the burger, please.
157
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,639
Yes, sir.
158
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:19,399
Right, so I've got something
to ask you,
159
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,759
and I'd like to get
this out of the way,
160
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,599
if I might.
161
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:27,279
I realised I haven't been
the most family-orientated father,
162
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,959
but, you know, to be fair
to me, I've had my work...
163
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,439
There's a woman over there who
has not stopped staring at us.
164
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,759
It tends to happen.
No, but I recognise her.
165
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,559
I swear I've met her before.
Maggie, please concentrate.
166
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:40,919
Tonight, the National Comedy Awards
167
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:44,719
are presenting me with
a lifetime achievement award.
168
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:46,040
OK.
169
00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:51,680
Congratulations? Thank you.
170
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:54,160
And I'd like you to come with me.
171
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,799
As you know, I gave up
television, oh, what,
172
00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:01,119
20 years ago, and I normally
turn these kind of things down,
173
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,319
but I thought, no, no, no,
it might be nice now
174
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:05,759
to acknowledge the impact
my work has had
175
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,519
on the British comedy landscape.
176
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,439
You know, my parents are long gone,
177
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,479
and as lovely as your mother
may be,
178
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,800
I realised shortly
after our wedding...
179
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:17,239
...that marriage probably
wasn't for me.
180
00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,159
Shortly after your wedding?
So essentially, Maggie,
181
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:22,239
you are my only family,
182
00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:25,279
and I would like my family
with me tonight.
183
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,399
SHE LAUGHS
184
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,279
I'm just a little taken aback,
I suppose,
185
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:33,079
because you have never,
ever included me
186
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:36,799
in anything to do with your work
or indeed life before.
187
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,039
Well, I'm a private man.
188
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:40,679
I am your biological child.
189
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,680
Tonight is important.
190
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,080
And you are important to me.
191
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:56,519
LAUGHTER AND CHATTER
192
00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,399
I stupidly cast a dog.
193
00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,639
I mean, what was I thinking?
194
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:03,519
MARK BARKS
All the time, yapping away!
195
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,839
You know what? Someone nicked it.
196
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:07,319
Ran off with it.
197
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:09,879
People stole everything
in those days!
198
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:11,879
The '90s were much simpler. Hey!
199
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,319
MAGGIE LAUGHS
200
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:15,199
Do you know we had
an on-set coke dealer?
201
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,119
No, you didn't. Yeah, yeah.
202
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,199
Do you know, I put him
in series three
203
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:22,879
after the actor we originally
cast got hit by a jet ski.
204
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:24,399
What? Yes!
205
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,159
There were so many more
jet ski accidents back then.
206
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,319
There were. It was a weekly
occurrence. Brr-rrm!
207
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,079
PHONE VIBRATES
208
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,639
Oh, yes.
209
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:32,920
Ohh...
210
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:38,319
Oh, poo on... me.
211
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,800
I beg your pardon? Um...
212
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:47,560
Uh...
213
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:52,120
Sorry. Tell me more about...
PHONE VIBRATES
214
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,479
What?
215
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,720
MAGGIE GROANS
216
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,120
OK.
217
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,719
Um, OK. Um... OK, I'll come.
218
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:07,239
What? Excellent. Yeah.
219
00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:09,439
If you do something for me now.
220
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,439
What... what... what's going on?
221
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:15,959
Look, Eddie has become one
of those crystal woo-woo people,
222
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,239
and she goes everywhere
223
00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,159
with this awful TikTok hippie
named Whitney.
224
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:20,839
And long story short,
they are coming here
225
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,799
to perform a father-daughter
healing ceremony
226
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,479
using a rainstick,
and I can't stop them.
227
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,359
So just say nothing or nod.
228
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,399
And basically,
if we get through this,
229
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:29,799
I will come with you
to your awards thing.
230
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,360
Do we have a deal?
231
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:34,079
Is Eddie your boyfriend?
232
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,199
No. Eddie is a girl. She's my friend.
233
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,320
You have met her several times.
234
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,879
Ah. Do we have a deal?
235
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:45,439
I'm not sure what the deal is,
but all right, fine.
236
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:46,999
Just say nothing. Or nod. OK?
237
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,119
Hey, girls.
238
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:50,679
Mr Anderson, hi, I'm Whitney.
239
00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:53,759
I am sure Maggie has told you
all about me,
240
00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:56,519
but I am a professional
light worker.
241
00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:58,319
And, well,
since losing my own father,
242
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:01,439
I've become particularly passionate
about helping daddies.
243
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:03,479
I just spoke to the hostess,
244
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,879
who is such a sweetheart,
by the way.
245
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,759
Literally an angel.
Yeah, I love her as well.
246
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,679
And she's actually given us
use of the private dining room
247
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:12,999
for a couple of hours.
248
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,039
I mean, God, isn't that so kind?
So kind.
249
00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:17,599
So we'll go set up,
250
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,999
and once we're done,
we can get started.
251
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,879
Oh...
252
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:23,719
If you're concerned about
253
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:26,800
the friction inherent
in Maggie's aura...
254
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,759
...we've been working hard on that.
255
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:33,840
I think you'll be
pleasantly surprised.
256
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:37,680
See you in there.
257
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,199
SHE EXHALES
258
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,199
There's so many places
I could start,
259
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,439
but "professional light worker"
is as good as any.
260
00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:52,359
Don't. Look, I just need to figure
out a way to get them out of here.
261
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,479
What possessed you to go along
with something
262
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,999
as excruciating as this?
263
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,439
Eddie is my best friend,
and I just wanna support her.
264
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,959
Oh, cut the shit. You're not
doing this to be supportive.
265
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:03,839
You're doing this
because your best friend's
266
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:05,799
got a shiny new pal,
and you're all jealous.
267
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,959
And I'm assuming
because you're at "join 'em"
268
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:09,079
you failed at "beat 'em",
269
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:12,519
and now, instead of being
honest with your friend,
270
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,639
you're prepared to go along
with her delusions
271
00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:15,839
for, what, months, years,
272
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:19,159
or until one day you wake up
in a hippie commune in Wales
273
00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:22,159
with no running water and at least
one suspicious death?
274
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,559
Oh, it's Devon, actually.
275
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:25,119
Integrity, Maggie.
276
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,279
Integrity...
277
00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,639
is crucial for
any writer worth their salt.
278
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:31,639
Any person.
279
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:35,240
And it's not worth giving up
at the drop of a rainstick.
280
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:39,159
You know, you were lucky enough
to inherit
281
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:41,399
a reasonably sharp mind,
thanks to me,
282
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:45,000
and you constantly
disappoint me by wasting it.
283
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,920
Excuse me for a minute.
284
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,319
LINE RINGS
285
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,759
We're ready!
I'm sorry, Whitney,
286
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,240
could I... Could you
just, um, put Eddie on?
287
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,599
Hey. What's up?
We're just in the back.
288
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,279
No, I know. Um, can you just, um...
289
00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,239
Could you just
come to the bathroom, maybe?
290
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,400
Just come here.
291
00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:23,960
Look, I just wanna talk to YOU.
292
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:29,479
Maggie, I'm not the expert
here. Whitney is.
293
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:30,680
Just come and chat to her.
294
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,920
But I just want...
CALL DISCONNECTS
295
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,520
Look, I was, um...
296
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,919
...too harsh.
297
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,280
I was just, uh, concerned.
298
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:20,600
I'm sorry.
299
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,520
Did you just apologise?
300
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,320
I might need a minute.
301
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:37,440
You were mean.
302
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,360
But you were right.
303
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:46,399
Look, I understand that you feel
304
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,520
that I haven't
been the perfect fath...
305
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,519
I was, um...
306
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,920
I was incredibly busy
during your childhood.
307
00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:01,560
You know, I was writing
and starring in my own show.
308
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,919
I put everything I had
into the making of Man Ager,
309
00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:08,879
everything, and of course,
there were epic highs.
310
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,080
Oh, my God, there were epic highs.
311
00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:15,479
But the lows.
The lows were terrible.
312
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:16,559
I wonder what might have caused that.
313
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,199
But we weren't like
your generation, you see.
314
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:23,560
You lot are more into... I don't
know, self-flagellation...
315
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:26,239
...begging therapists
316
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:29,799
for the secular equivalent
of ten Hail Marys.
317
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,999
You know,
when things were hard, for us,
318
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,279
we huddled together
in someone's office,
319
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,199
rang the local pub for delivery,
320
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,040
and then we shook the cobwebs off.
321
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,959
And as a result of that,
322
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,960
I wasn't at home as much as
I should have been.
323
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:52,999
There are so many things I regret
324
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,800
when it comes to you
and your mother.
325
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,319
But I just, um...
326
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:01,040
I just want us to have
a better relationship.
327
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:10,520
But - and I really, really
want you to understand this...
328
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:13,599
...I cannot attend
329
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,199
a rainstick healing ceremony,
330
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,999
especially as you yourself
know it to be complete horse shit.
331
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,799
We're ready! Ohh.
332
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,080
Um, we... Um...
333
00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:28,719
We aren't... We aren't coming.
334
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:30,319
Why not? Because...
335
00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,119
This will really help Whitney
gain more followers,
336
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,519
and we're fundraising for...
337
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,119
What do you mean, followers?
338
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:36,640
Instagram followers.
339
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:41,039
You were going to film this
and put it on Instagram?
340
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,919
Yeah, yeah. Whitney thought,
because your dad was on TV,
341
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:45,679
it will help drive traffic
to her page.
342
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,639
Oh. But the point is, Maggie,
this will really help you.
343
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,159
Whitney really knows what...
344
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,680
Oh, Whitney knows fuck-all!
345
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,279
MAGGIE LAUGHS
- What?
- Oh, nothing.
346
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:57,759
Sorry.
347
00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,840
Oh... No. No, Whitney's...
348
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,239
Oh, no, I don't have it in me.
Whitney is an idiot.
349
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:07,399
And you have become
the most selfish fucking hippie
350
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,840
I have ever met.
351
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,119
What? Sorry.
352
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:13,719
Oh, I'm sorry.
353
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,799
I'm sorry. It's all... It's bollocks.
354
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,439
I know that healing can feel
uncomfortable.
355
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:22,039
Oh, what the fuck do you know
about healing, Eddie?
356
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:23,679
Do you even know what the word means?
357
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:26,799
Because it doesn't mean going
AWOL with a fake guru
358
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,319
who clearly just stole
your money to get Turkey teeth.
359
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,519
WHITNEY GASPS
360
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:32,759
What are you talking about?
361
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:36,399
Oh, I'm sorry, There's no way
the Eddie I know
362
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:37,999
believes any of this shit.
363
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,079
You have a sharper mind than that.
364
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,399
It's just... It's disappointing, honestly.
365
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,999
Maggie, maybe we should take
a meditation break.
366
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,679
I mean, your forehead veins
are telling me
367
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,879
your chakras
are completely off balance.
368
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,399
New rule. You're only allowed
to speak if you're vaccinated.
369
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,519
I can't have loud,
emotional arguments in here.
370
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:54,559
This is a restaurant.
371
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:55,879
That's fine. We were just leaving.
372
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,079
No, Eddie. Come on. Eddie...
No, you've said enough.
373
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,639
I should have listened to Whitney
and done this weeks ago.
374
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,399
But, Maggie,
375
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:03,719
we're done.
376
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,800
I don't want you
in my life any more.
377
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,400
Good for you. Good for you.
378
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,200
Sit down, darling.
379
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:28,960
I'm really proud of you.
380
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:31,960
You told her the truth.
381
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,760
And the truth, as they say,
will set you free.
382
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:38,879
Hey, let me top you up.
383
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:40,359
ICE BUCKET RATTLES
384
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:42,039
Could we, uh, have the bill, please?
385
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:43,440
Thank you.
386
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:05,439
Could I trouble you
for our coats, please?
387
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:06,880
Yes.
388
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,159
- Come on.
- Is she OK?
HE LAUGHS
389
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,919
What, her? Fine. Yeah, fine.
390
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,999
Nothing that a little fresh air
won't fix.
391
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,919
We're off to an award ceremony
up the road.
392
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,559
HE CHUCKLES
393
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,479
Hope it doesn't drag on too long.
394
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,599
You know what they're like!
395
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,239
A bit like a school assembly
that you can't escape from.
396
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:30,159
Mark. Mark Anderson.
That's me, yep.
397
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,199
Any advance on the coats, love, please?
398
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,519
You don't remember me?
399
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:35,879
Hmm.
400
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:37,719
No, you were probably too little.
401
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,839
You were only nine, I think.
Tiny wee thing.
402
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:41,999
I babysat for you back in Galway.
403
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,400
Oh.
404
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,599
I didn't think I'd see you again.
405
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:50,439
And I sat down for a lunch
and, bam, in you walked.
406
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,679
I was only 20-odd.
407
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:55,399
God, so young, and I feel awful.
408
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:56,959
Come on, Mairead.
409
00:20:56,960 --> 00:21:00,200
And I felt so bad
because your mam was so lovely.
410
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:02,720
God...
411
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:05,760
I didn't know what I was doing.
412
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,879
You know,
413
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:18,240
I refused to talk
to that journalist woman.
414
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:21,879
She called me a few months ago
415
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,279
and I said
I wouldn't talk about you,
416
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,320
even though she said
the other women had.
417
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,120
Just so you know.
418
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,959
Right, come on, then.
What's she talking about?
419
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,079
Oh, her? I don't know. God knows.
420
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,599
Pfft! I don't think she's right
in the head.
421
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:40,959
What was she talking about?
422
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:44,159
Oh, they try and do this
to every semi-famous man
423
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,800
of a certain age nowadays.
424
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:51,359
Some hack has written
a supposed expose
425
00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:54,319
on my romantic relationships
in the '90s.
426
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,919
Affairs? All consensual, all adults.
427
00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:58,759
But because some of these women
428
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:00,799
that worked with me at the time...
429
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,839
For you.
...now they're trying to claim
430
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:04,679
there's some kind of abuse
involved.
431
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,719
I mean, come on, it's crap.
It's nonsense.
432
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:09,239
But what can you do?
433
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:10,999
You know what I mean? Sells papers.
434
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,959
And that's why you want me
to come with you tonight, right?
435
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:14,839
No, of course not.
436
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:16,199
You're about to get cancelled,
437
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:17,839
so you want to use me to show
that you're actually
438
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:19,799
a loving family man
who wouldn't hurt a fly.
439
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,640
All right, just calm down.
440
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,559
I won't do that for you.
441
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,879
You know, a not-very-wise man
once said to me,
442
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,279
"The truth will set you free",
443
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:31,919
but I think what he actually
meant is,
444
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:35,000
"It's more fun to be brutally honest,
but only when it suits you."
445
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:37,600
Which is not as catchy.
446
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:44,160
I have spent so many years
trying to figure you out.
447
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,879
But if so much
of what you say is a lie,
448
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:50,439
then what's the point in even trying?
449
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,279
I have this unshakeable hope in us
that made me come here today.
450
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:54,999
And it made me drink.
And I don't drink any more.
451
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,239
But I can't say that to you,
452
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:57,760
because it's too close
to the bone, isn't it?
453
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:01,639
How many did you have
before I got here today?
454
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:03,240
Four or five?
455
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,400
I've have guessed four,
but I'm a little rusty.
456
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:12,840
I'm not like you.
457
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:17,320
I'm medicated.
458
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:20,680
HE INHALES
459
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:35,840
I stole 50 quid from his wallet.
460
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,760
Do you want a hot chocolate?
461
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:45,120
Yeah.
462
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,600
PHONE VIBRATES
463
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:19,759
I'm going to save her.
464
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,519
Oh, sorry. I just...
465
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,039
I know I need to fight for her.
466
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:24,919
I know she deserves it. OK?
467
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,399
OK. I'll send a Zoom link.
We can get planning.
468
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,639
Stop sending me fucking Zoom links.
469
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:31,399
I am the captain now. No more Zoom.
470
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,159
Got it captain. Google me...
471
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,159
Just meet me in my flat in an hour
472
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:37,679
and bring all the nerdy
stationery I know you have.
473
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,080
We're going big. Yes. I'll stop...
474
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,600
You're nicer than I thought you were.
475
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:09,479
My dad died jet-skiing
with his mistress in Jamaica
476
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,359
when my mum was pregnant with me.
477
00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:12,680
MAGGIE EXHALES
478
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,880
There used to be a lot more
jet ski accidents.
479
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:33,600
{\an8}♪ Poetry has no place
for a heart that's a whore
480
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:41,760
{\an8}♪ And I'm young and I'm strong
but I feel old and tired
481
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,360
{\an8}♪ Overfired
482
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:47,759
{\an8}♪ And I've been poked and stoked
483
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:49,959
{\an8}♪ It's all smoke,
there's no more fire
484
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:51,119
{\an8}♪ Only desire... ♪
485
00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:52,920
{\an8}Subtitles by Red Bee Media
35715
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof