All language subtitles for spa + eng.ssa

Buenos d�as, Sr. Michaux.
No me molesta en absoluto.

Estaba practicando con mi bumerang.

Lo hago antes de ir a la oficina,
es ideal para el estr�s.

�A cenar el mi�rcoles?
Encantado, Sr. Michaux.

Hola.

-�Vienes al f�tbol el mi�rcoles?
-Tengo una cena.

-Un expreso, por favor.
-�Una cena?

-Perier, un cliente, me invita.
-�Por qu�?

Hacemos buenas migas. Cuando
viene al banco, charlamos.

-�De qu�?
-De todo. De pol�tica,

deportes... Me pide mi opini�n
sobre la actualidad y se la doy.

�Con lo idiota que eres?

Quiz� sea idiota, pero
a esa cena ir�n peces gordos,

y Perier me dijo
que les interesaban mis ideas.

As� que si hay un idiota,
no es el que t� crees.

Eso es estupendo.

No hay problema,
cuente conmigo el mi�rcoles,

si no hay imprevis...

-�Llegas o te vas?
-Me voy.

Tengo que ir a Biarritz.

-�A qu�?
-Es el cumplea�os de mi padre.

Dale un abrazo
de mi parte.

Un caf�, por favor.

-�Vienes el mi�rcoles?
-No, me es imposible. �T� ir�s?

Claro, pero sigo
sin encontrar un idiota.

Y mira que he buscado.
�No tendr�s uno a mano?

No, pero ver� qu� se me ocurre.
Bueno, me voy.

�Qu� es eso?

Es para mi padre.
Precioso, �no?

Siglo XVIII, le encantar�.

-�Colecciona cucharones?
-Tiene m�s de 300.

Le distrae
desde que se jubil�.

Qu� interesante. �Y le gusta
compartir su pasi�n con la gente,

disertar sobre los cucharones?

No, Pierre.

-�Suele venir a Par�s?
-No, pap� no.

�C�mo, "pap� no"?
Su afici�n es muy original.

-Y quieres llevarle a la cena.
-�Pero qu� dices!

�Me ves invit�ndole
a una cena de idiotas?

S�.

Me tomas por un cerdo.

S�.

No, era una broma.
Y ahora en serio,

sigo sin idiota
y empiezo a ponerme nervioso.

Buenos d�as.

Disculpe.

Gracias.

-Se ha ca�do al sacarla.
-No se preocupe.

La habr� reconocido.

�C�mo?

La torre Eiffel. Hecha con cerillas.
Concretamente, 346.422.

-�La ha hecho Vd.?
-S�.

De lo mejor
que he hecho.

-�Tiene m�s?
-�Que si tengo m�s!

Le hablaba de la sustentaci�n.
Pues en una obra as�,

�se es el problema:
la sustentaci�n.

Pero empecemos
por el principio.

�Qu� es un puente
colgante?

Si no se calcula el �ngulo
a la d�cima de grado, se acab�.

A la d�cima de grado,

�se da cuenta?

Con el Concorde me enfrent�
a otro tipo de problema.

-Y ahora, una pregunta con trampa.
-Hemos llegado.

�Qu� fue m�s dif�cil,

la Torre Eiffel o el Concorde?

Hemos llegado.

Ah, s�.
Qu� pronto.

El tiempo ha pasado
volando.

P�ngame con Pierre Brochant,
soy Jean Cordier.

Tengo uno.

-�C�mo es?
-Un campe�n del mundo.

Cuando son nuevecitos,
reci�n salidos del cascar�n,

todos los j�venes inexpertos creen
que los viejos son idiotas,

y cuando se convierten
en viejos canosos,

creen a su vez que
los jovencitos son idiotas.

LA CENA DE LOS IDIOTAS

Yo, que no soy ni joven ni viejo,
quiero daros a todos un mensaje:

el tiempo no tiene
nada que ver,

cuando eres idiota,
eres idiota.

Tengas veinte a�os
o seas abuelo,

si eres idiota, eres idiota.

Se acabaron las controversias,

idiota caduco, idiota novato,

joven idiota
de la �ltima hornada,

viejo idiota decr�pito,

joven idiota
de la �ltima hornada,

viejo idiota decr�pito.

Vosotros, los idiotas inocentes,
los idiotas j�venes,

no lo negu�is, pens�is que
vuestros padres son idiotas,

vosotros, los idiotas adultos,
usados, los idiotas viejos,

confesadlo, pens�is que
los ni�atos son idiotas.

Meditad el mensaje imparcial

de uno que no es ni viejo
ni joven.

El tiempo no tiene
nada que ver,

cuando eres idiota,
eres idiota.

Tengas veinte a�os
o seas abuelo,

si eres idiota, eres idiota.

Se acabaron las controversias,

idiota caduco, idiota novato,

joven idiota
de la �ltima hornada,

viejo idiota decr�pito,

joven idiota
de la �ltima hornada,

viejo idiota decr�pito.

PAR�S
MINISTERIO DE HACIENDA

�Qu�, Sr. Auxerre?

�A la mierda el Marsella,
a la mierda el Marsella...!

Ya ver�s el Auxerre
el mi�rcoles.

�Ser� gilipollas!

Disculpe.

Tranquilo,
estoy acostumbrada.

Aqu� Ediciones Pierre Brochant.
�El Sr. Pignon?

Soy yo.

Le paso al Sr. Brochant.

-�El Sr. Pignon?
-S�.

Le llamo de parte
de Jean Cordier,

se conocieron en el tren.

En efecto, s�.

Me ha hablado de Vd.
y quisiera conocerle.

�Conocerme?

Fran�ois Pignon. Estaba tan
alucinado que no pod�a ni hablar.

Va a ser una gozada.

-�Y Michaud?
-Trae a uno que colecciona bumerangs.

-Muy bueno.
-Al parecer es excepcional.

-�Cu�ntos seremos?
-Diez, contando a Pignon.

Esto tiene
buen aspecto.

-�Joder!
-�Qu� te pasa?

�Christine!

-�Has cancelado la cena?
-�Dios, qu� fr�o est�!

-�La has cancelado?
-�No se necesita calor?

-Sorbier dijo hielo.
-�Le has encontrado?

Estaba aqu� cerca,
ahora viene.

Estupendo. Me gustar�a beber
algo... un vasito de whisky.

-�El lumbago te vuelve sordo?
-No, no he cancelado la cena.

�Pretendes ir as�
a esa cena siniestra?

A m� me divierte, aunque
a ti te parezca siniestro.

No vas a cabrearte
porque quiera divertirme.

Qu�date, ya sabes que �ltimamente
no estoy muy animada.

Pues ven conmigo.
Ya ver�s, son estupendas

esas cenas.

Es estupendo invitar
a un infeliz para re�rse de �l.

Un infeliz no, un cretino,
para eso est�n los cretinos.

Paso por su casa
y luego vamos a la cena.

�Ir�n al restaurante?

No, un amigo suyo
organiza una cena.

�Qu� nervios!
�Cu�l?

Son iguales.

No, �sta es m�s roja.
Me la pongo, es m�s fantasiosa.

Que no se me olvide
mi carpeta de maquetas.

�Quiere escribir un libro!
�Sobre mis maquetas!

D�se prisa, llegar� tarde.

�Le has invitado aqu�?

Quer�a verle antes. Ya ver�s,
al parecer es fabuloso.

No voy a ver nada.
Os dejo solos, divert�os.

-�Ad�nde vas?
-Yo tambi�n tengo una cena.

No me apetec�a, pero ir�.

�Una cena con qui�n?

�Es �l?
No quiero verle.

No, es el doctor.

-Sorbier.
-S�, suba, Doctor.

Buenas noches... Doctor.

Desbloqu�ele r�pido,
tiene una cena.

Una cena de idiotas. Cada
invitado lleva a un idiota...

Christine...

Los idiotas no saben
por qu� los han elegido.

Les hacen hablar.
Al parecer, es muy divertido.

Pero a m� no me hace gracia,
as� que me voy. Adi�s.

Disculpe, le llam� por un lumbago,
no por una pelea conyugal.

-�Puedo lavarme las manos?
-La primera puerta.

De j�venes hac�amos
cenas de feas.

Invitabas a la chica m�s fea
y luego d�bamos un premio.

S�, yo tambi�n lo he hecho.

-Es mejor con idiotas.
-Pero menos claro.

No, hay tontos clar�simos.
Pronto llegar� uno,

ya ver�, es inconfundible.

Est� guap�simo.

Gracias, Louisette.

Bien, divi�rtase.
Y sea ingenioso.

-�Es un amigo suyo?
-No.

Tengo amigos tontos,
pero no tan tontos.

Los que seleccionamos
son de alta competici�n.

-�Y de d�nde los sacan?
-No es f�cil.

Es una caza al hombre. Con
rastreadores que los buscan.

Es la quinta lumbar.

-�Es grave?
-No, pero tendr� que cancelar la cena.

�Ah, no!

Descanse, volver� ma�ana.

He conseguido un idiota
de primera.

D�me calmantes, lo que sea,
pero haga algo.

La bolsa de hielo
y reposo,

o le durar� tres semanas.

Qu� mala suerte.

La agenda, por favor.

Tel�fono.

�C�mo se llamaba...?

-�Y qu� hace?
-Trabaja en Hacienda.

�Y si descubre
por qu� le invita?

No, tenemos mucho cuidado.
Ning�n idiota descubre la verdad.

No est�.

-�Joder!
-�Qu�?

Su contestador. Intenta
ser gracioso y es pat�tico.

Como a casa no he llegado,
deja tu mensaje grabado.

En cuanto oiga tu voz
te llamar� raudo y veloz.

Ahora le toca a Vd.

-�A que es genial?
-Excepcional, s�.

-Es �l.
-No se mueva, ya voy yo.

Soy Fran�ois Pignon.

Quinto izquierda.

Ah� viene.

Le dejar� calmantes
para esta noche.

-Por si le duele.
-�No se queda?

No, tengo que irme. Hasta
ma�ana. Ll�meme a casa si tiene

alg�n problema.

Deje la puerta abierta.

-�Puedo pedirle un favor?
-Claro.

No me invite nunca a cenar.
Tendr�a mis dudas.

-Buenas noches.
-Buenas noches.

Pase, est� abierto.

Buenas noches. Pase.

Disculpe,

no me levanto porque tengo lumbago.
Habr� que aplazar la cena.

Lo siento por Vd.
El lumbago es un mal asunto.

Y una estupidez.
�Qu� hace el mi�rcoles?

�El mi�rcoles?
Nada.

Perfecto. Mi amigo da otra
cena, est� Vd. invitado.

Es muy amable.

Es normal. Hoy le hemos fallado,
no le fallaremos la semana que viene.

Pero cuidado, el bumerang
de verdad, el aut�ntico,

no el que encuentras
en los bazares para turistas,

el primitivo, el que usaron los
fieros guerreros australianos

desde los albores
de la humanidad, ese bumerang,

posee una din�mica, un movimiento
cuando se lanza bien,

que yo calificar�a de milagroso.

Bien, �qu� tal?

No muy bien, partido en dos.
Calla, qu� estupidez.

Si�ntese.

No, esta noche es imposible.

Cenamos dentro de media hora.
Quiz� para entonces est�s mejor.

...Puede decapitar a un canguro
a 50 metros.

Bien, pero no cont�is
con nosotros.

S�, est� aqu�.

Muy simp�tico.

Tiene cara de ganador.

Tranquilo, si no vamos hoy,
le llevo la semana que viene.

�Qu� tal, Sr. Pignon?

Muy bien, gracias.

He o�do su contestador,
es muy divertido.

�S�? Intent� que el mensaje
fuese original.

Muy logrado.
A�n me estoy riendo.

Todo el mundo me lo dice. Incluso
tengo amigos que me piden que grabe

su mensaje.

No me extra�a.

Vd. tiene contestador,
si quiere...

No, gracias.

Es un momento.

No, est� muy bien as�.
Quiz�

algo cl�sico para Vd., pero...

Estoy encantado de conocerle.

Yo tambi�n. Desde que me llam�
al Ministerio, parece una tonter�a,

pero estoy como en una nube.

Primero pens� que era una broma.
Deb� parecerle est�pido.

S�. No, no, estuvo Vd. perfecto.

Que un editor quiera publicar
una obra sobre mis maquetas,

y que adem�s
me invite a cenar...

Ha cambiado Vd. mi vida,
Sr. Brochant.

Lo de la obra no es seguro a�n.

Le he tra�do las fotos
de mis mejores trabajos.

Magn�fica.

-Ocho meses de esfuerzos.
-Se nota.

�Lo hace por la noche?

Y los fines de semana.
Cuando tengo un rato.

-�Y est� casado?
-S�... bueno, no.

El Puente
de Tancarville.

�Magn�fico!
�Est� casado o no?

Es decir, mi mujer se fue.

Con un amigo m�o.

Esas cosas pasan.

Un tipo del Ministerio,
inofensivo.

Un d�a lo llev� a casa
y le gust�.

Por cierto, no s� por qu�.
No es precisamente un genio.

�Cu�ntas cerillas
cree que hay?

�C�mo, que no es
un genio?

El tipo con el que se fue.
No puede saber qu� tonto es.

Venga, diga un n�mero.

�M�s tonto que...? A ver, Vd. es
inteligente. �C�mo es respecto a Vd.?

No me gusta ser grosero, pero
hay que decirlo. Es gilipollas.

�Dios m�o!

�Y bien?

No puedo creer que su mujer
se haya ido con �l.

Yo tampoco. Y es un verdadero
tarado, s�lo habla de windsurf.

-�D�nde puedo contactarle?
-�Le gusta el windsurf?

Much�simo.
Me encanta el windsurf.

Pues le caer� bien. Benjamin.
Pero le llamamos Delbobo.

Su n�mero est� en el list�n.
En Benjamin, no en Delbobo.

Bien, �cu�ntas cerillas?

Dos mil.

346.422.

Y espere, �cu�ntos

tubos de cola?

Vamos a ir a esa cena.

-�Puede andar?
-Lo intentar�.

-�Tiene coche?
-S�.

Si me lleva, llegaremos.
Ay�deme a levantarme.

Vamos.

�Qu� tal?

Con cuidado.

37.

Tubos de cola. 37.

Vamos a pasar una velada
estupenda. Estupenda.

Lo siento.
�Se ha hecho da�o?

A lo mejor
se ha roto algo.

-�Qu� hace?
-Llamar a un masajista.

-No hace falta.
-Es amigo m�o, es buen�simo.

-No hace falta.
-El mejor de Courbevoie.

�No quiero el mejor masajista
de Courbevoie! V�yase a casa.

�No vamos a la cena?

No. Ya no estoy en condiciones.

Deje, est� el contestador.

"Deje su mensaje
despu�s de la se�al".

S�, su mensaje
pod�a ser m�s chistoso.

Soy yo, no volver� esta noche.

Creo que no volver�
nunca m�s.

Siento

decirlo por el contestador,
pero quiz� sea mejor as�.

Adi�s, Pierre.

Bien, pues me voy.

-�No necesita nada?
-No, no.

Va todo bien.
Buenas noches.

Disculpe...

se me olvidaba el malet�n.

Estoy con Vd., Sr. Brochant,
de todo coraz�n.

Muchas gracias, adi�s.

Adi�s.

�Puedo ayudarle?

No, estoy bien,
buenas noches.

Si alguien puede entender
lo que le pasa, soy yo.

Sr. Pignon,
quiero que me dejen en paz.

Eso dije cuando me dej�, y casi
me muero de pena, solo en mi sal�n.

Y Vd. adem�s, con lumbago.

No me ha dejado nadie.
Est� un poco depre,

ya volver�.
V�yase a casa. Adi�s.

"Ya volver�". Eso dec�a yo tambi�n,
y lleva dos a�os "volviendo ya".

Me voy a la cama,
apague al irse.

�No quiere que llame
a mi amigo masajista?

�No!

Es un artista, y barato. �Sabe
cu�nto cobra por venir a casa?

Me atiende el Profesor Sorbier,
jefe de reumatolog�a del hospital,

no necesito a Maurice.

Llevar� muy bien el hospital,
pero Vd. est� fatal.

�Porque se me ha ca�do
encima!

�Joder, no s� por qu� discuto
con este atontado!

Parece un caballo que se ha ca�do
al saltar. En una pista, le matar�an.

V�yase, Sr. Pignon.

Con un golpe as�
se queda uno tieso.

Si la m�dula est� afectada,
se queda paral�tico.

Y como no vaya a Lourdes...

-Llame a Sorbier.
-�As� me gusta!

�Cu�l es el n�mero?

En la agenda.

El Dr. Sorbier,
de parte de Pierre Brochant.

P�ngame con �l, es urgente.

Aqu� no hay
ning�n doctor.

Me he confundido
de n�mero.

Me he saltado
una l�nea,

escribe tan peque�o...

�Cuelgue ya!

Estoy en su casa, s�.

S�, est� aqu�.

No, no est� nada bien.

Tiene lumbago. Un desastre.
No puede moverse,

est� tirado en el suelo

como un saco viejo.
Asqueroso.

�Pero con qui�n habla?

Disculpe,
�con qui�n hablo?

�Ah, s�?

Entonces puedo dec�rselo.
Est� fatal. Adem�s, su mujer

le ha dejado,

est� destrozado.
Por completo.

�Quiere parar ya!

Tengo que dejarla, le fallan
los nervios. Se lo dir�. Adi�s.

Era su hermana.

No tengo hermana.

�No tiene hermana?

He dicho "�Con qui�n hablo?"
y ha dicho "Su hermana".

�Es Marl�ne!

�No es su hermana?

�Se llama Marl�ne Sermana!

�C�mo iba a saberlo? Dijo "Marl�ne,
su hermana". Es un l�o.

�D�me el tel�fono!

R�pido,

al no estar mi mujer,
vendr� corriendo.

Lo que me faltaba,
una ninf�mana.

�Porque adem�s es ninf�mana?

Basta ya.

Si la llamo, no me suelta.
�D�gale que ha vuelto mi mujer!

�Venga, r�pido!

-Mi mujer ha vuelto, todo va bien.
-�Ah, s�?

�Es lo que tiene
que decir!

Lo siento.

Marl�ne Sermana.

�Marl�ne Sermana?

Soy yo otra vez, llamo para decir
que la Sra. Brochant ha vuelto.

S�, ahora mismo.

Ella va bien, el Sr. Brochant
va bien, todo el mundo va bien.

Sigue con lumbago,
pero se lo toma a broma.

Bien, adi�s.

No, no soy un amigo, le conozco
porque le interesan mis maquetas.

S�, reproduzco con cerillas
grandes obras de Ingenier�a.

El Puente de Tancarville,
el Golden Gate...

-�Le trae sin cuidado!
-�Qu� va, le encanta!

�Cuelgue ya!

Disculpe,
tengo que dejarla,

me llama y no quiero
dejarle solo en este estado.

�Santo Dios!

�Solo?
�No ha vuelto su mujer?

�C�mo?

Claro que ha vuelto.
Pero ha salido otra vez.

"Ido" no, "salido". S�lo
un momento. A sacar la basura.

�Pero qu� dice!

Aries...
Aries ascendente G�minis.

-Los Aries no mienten. Yo no miento.
-Ya basta.

�Voy para all�!

Ha colgado. Ha dicho
"Voy para all�" y ha colgado.

D�me ese tel�fono.

Lo siento, me he relajado
un poco. No pod�a saber

que era tan perspicaz.

Hola, cari�o. Estoy en camino,
dejo a los perros y ya voy.

No hagas nada. Mi mujer est�
a punto de llegar, no vengas ahora.

No quiero apenarte,
pero no creo que vuelva.

�Sabes qu� pienso?
Que ha vuelto con Leblanc.

�Leblanc? �Qu� dices?
�Eso se acab�, pasa de Leblanc!

Te digo que no se ha ido con nadie
y que t� no puedes venir aqu�.

Esa loca no quiere escucharme.

Puede irse, Se�or Pignon,
necesito estar solo.

Me voy. �Le llevo a la habitaci�n?
No va a quedarse ah� tirado.

Ll�veme al sof�.

Con cuidado.

No, mire hacia adelante.

-Son todas iguales.
-�C�mo?

No pude evitar escuchar. Al parecer
la suya tambi�n se ha ido con uno.

No se ha ido con nadie.

La m�a tampoco se fue
con nadie, porque

Benjamin y nadie es lo mismo,
pero aun as� se fue con �l.

-�No nos hab�amos despedido ya?
-S�, s�, me voy.

Le doy un poco de agua
para las pastillas y me voy.

�Es amigo suyo?

�Quiere dejarme en paz?

Su malet�n.

Cuando me pidi� que contase mi vida,
no le dije "D�jeme en paz".

Adi�s, Sr. Brochant.

Leblanc era mi mejor amigo.
Llevamos enfadados

dos a�os.
Ya est�. �Est� contento?

�Y por qu� se enfadaron?
Porque rondaba a su mujer.

No, se la quit� yo.

�l viv�a con Christine
y ella le dej� por m�.

Hab�an escrito juntos
una novela

-y vinieron a propon�rmela.
-�Y...?

Me qued� con ambas.
Con la novela y con Christine.

�Todos los que hacen windsurf
les quitan la mujer a los amigos!

�Yo no hago windsurf!

�No? Me dijo
hace un momento que...

Hago poco windsurf como para
quitarle la mujer... �Pero qu� digo!

�Su curiosidad ha quedado

satisfecha?

�Por qu� no le llama?

�A qui�n?

A �l, para saber
si ha vuelto con �l.

S�, le pregunto: "�La mujer
que te mangu� ha vuelto contigo?"

Al menos estar�a
seguro.

Yo llam� a Benjamin. Le dije:
"�Te has largado con Florence?"

Dijo que s� y me colg�.
Qued� claro.

�Le llamo?

�Usted?

S�, digo: "Soy un amigo de la
Sra. Brochant, �sabe d�nde est�?"

Y no se mosquear�
en absoluto.

S�lo intento ayudar.

Estoy seguro
de que no ha vuelto con �l.

No insisto.

Buenas noches.

Si le digo exactamente lo que tiene
que decir, �podr� hacerlo?

A veces pienso que me toma
por un est�pido.

Claro que puedo hacerlo.
�Qu� digo?

Podr�amos utilizar
el libro que han escrito.

Le llama y dice
que es productor de cine.

Ha le�do la novela

-y quiere comprarle los derechos.
-S�, muy bien.

Y luego le pregunta
c�mo

-contactar a su colaboradora.
-�Qu� colaboradora?

�Mi mujer!
�Escribieron un libro!

S�, claro, disculpe.

-No funcionar�.
-S�, lo he entendido todo.

-Aunque no es sencillo.
-�No es sencillo?

Usted es productor.

Tiene una productora
en Par�s.

No, en Par�s no.
Es Vd. extranjero.

Bien.
�Americano, alem�n?

Belga.
S�, perfecto, belga.

�Por qu� belga?

Porque le pega.

Es un productor belga, ha le�do
"El Caballito del Tiovivo" y quiere

-los derechos para el cine.
-�Es bueno el libro?

Muy malo,
pero �qu� importa?

-Eso me preocupa un poco.
-�Por qu�?

Si el libro es malo,
�por qu� compro los derechos?

Se�or Pignon...
Vd. no es productor.

No.

-Tampoco es belga.
-No.

No llama para comprar los derechos,
sino para saber d�nde est� mi mujer.

�Qu� retorcido,
pero qu� inteligente!

-�Cu�l es el n�mero?
-01 47 45...

Ya marco yo.

-Se llama Justo Leblanc.
-�No tiene nombre?

Se lo he dicho,
es Justo Leblanc.

Leblanc es su apellido
y Justo el nombre.

Se�or Pignon,
el nombre de usted

es Fran�ois.
Justo �se, �no?

Pues �l igual, es Justo.

Bien, no perdamos m�s tiempo.

Ella utiliza su apellido
de soltera, Le Guirrec.

�S�, es de Breta�a?

Conc�ntrese.

Disc�lpeme.

Y no lo olvide, al final le
pregunta d�nde puede contactar

a Christine Le Guirrec.
Bien, le pongo en el altavoz.

-Le toca.
-�Pongo acento belga?

No.

�Podr�a hablar con el se�or
Leblanc... Justo, pues?

Soy yo.

Buenas noches, Sr. Leblanc,

aqu� Georges Van Brueghel.
Disculpe que le llame tan tarde,

pero soy un productor belga,
he venido de B�lgica, pues,

y me interesa mucho
su novela...

"El Caballito del Tiovivo".

Y me gustar�a discutir la compra
de sus derechos para el cine.

�Es una broma?

En absoluto,
�una broma por qu�?

Corta el rollo,
te he pillado.

Se equivoca, no soy Etienne.
Soy productor y soy de Bruselas.

�Qu� productora?

�C�mo?

Su productora, el nombre.

"Pel�culas del Llano".

Eso, una productora joven
pero din�mica.

-�Y le interesa mi novela?
-Me interesa mucho.

�Para el cine
o para la tele?

�Para el cine, Sr. Leblanc,
para la pantalla grande,

no para la caja boba!

Me gustar�a hacer
la adaptaci�n

yo mismo.

Eso no es problema, Sr. Leblanc.
Pero debe saber

que somos una compa��a modesta
sin muchos medios, pero si no es

demasiado ambicioso...

De dinero hablaremos
m�s tarde.

�Cu�ndo nos vemos, se�or...?

-Van Brueghel.
-�Y mi mujer!

Le llamo ma�ana
y quedamos pues.

-Bien, hasta ma�ana.
-�Hasta ma�ana, Sr. Leblanc!

�Hemos conseguido
los derechos!

Y seguro que baratos.
El t�o ha entrado a tope.

�Y mi mujer?

�Qu�?

�Se le ha olvidado
mi mujer!

Hace el payaso 5 minutos
y se le olvida mi mujer.

He metido la pata.

Jam�s hubiese podido imaginar...

S�, he metido la pata.

Hemos batido el r�cord.

-Vuelvo a llamarle.
-�D�me eso!

Le digo: "Por cierto, �y su
colaboradora, Christine Le Guirrec?"

D�me ese tel�fono.

L�stima, �bamos a enterarnos.

S�lo le dir�: "Por cierto, �y su
colaboradora, Christine Le Guirrec?"

Ni una palabra m�s.

Un t�o con un acento incre�ble.

Van Brueghel. Su productora
se llama "Les Films del Llano".

A m� tampoco me suena.

Espera, me llaman
por la otra l�nea.

Sr. Leblanc, disculpe que le moleste,
soy yo otra vez, Van Brueghel.

Estoy hablando con mi agente,
d�me su n�mero y le llamo.

01 45 90 56 03.

-Ha cortado.
-�He cortado yo, imb�cil!

�Imb�cil?

�Le ha dado mi n�mero!

Claro, me ha preguntado
d�nde pod�a llamarme.

No descansa nunca, �verdad?

Estoy un poco desbordado.
Intento entender, pero...

Es de clase mundial.

Quiz� incluso el campe�n
del mundo.

Llaman.

�Se alegra!
�Llaman y se alegra!

Es �l.
�No cogemos?

Ahora no estamos, deje su
mensaje despu�s de la se�al.

Pierre, soy Justo.

Me preguntaba qu� hac�a
ese productor belga en tu casa,

luego comprend� que buscabas
a tu mujer.

Si es as�, preg�ntamelo
directamente y sin acento. Adi�s.

�Justo? Soy yo.
�D�nde est�?

Llevo dos a�os deseando esto.
Pero no me alegro, te compadezco.

Dime s�lo si est�
en tu casa.

No est�. Me llam�
diciendo que te dejaba,

estaba trastornada.

-�No te dijo ad�nde iba?
-No.

�D�nde estar�!

Duele, �eh?

S� que lo has vivido,
pero yo adem�s tengo lumbago.

No me digas.

Si me vieses te partir�as
de risa, no puedo ni moverme.

�Quieres que vaya
a verte?

No te molestes, prefiero estar
solo. Buenas noches y gracias.

No tienes por qu� hacerlo,
pero si vuelve a llamar...

Te llamo. Te lo prometo.

Gracias.

No me merezco un amigo como t�.

�Me pasa esa libreta?

Deje esta nota
en la puerta.

"He tomado calmantes,

estoy durmiendo,

no quiero ver a nadie
esta noche."

-Espero que me dejar� en paz.
-�Quiere que la espere?

-Vd. se encierra y yo vigilo.
-No, bastante ha hecho ya.

S� que no he estado
a la altura

y lo siento mucho. Me hac�a
tanta ilusi�n ayudarle...

Ay�deme hasta la cama,
s�lo le pido eso.

Si se siente depre esta noche,
ll�meme, vendr� de inmediato.

�No!

�Sabe lo que ech� de menos
cuando se fue la m�a?

Un amigo que me diese la mano.

Adi�s, se�or Pignon.

Sra. Sermana,
iba a dejarle esta nota.

Habl� conmigo hace un rato.

El Aries ascendiente
G�minis.

Llamaba al m�dico y ca� con Vd.
Y comprend� que era su amiguita.

�Su amiguita?

S�, siento haber resultado tan
confuso, la cosa es muy sencilla.

Su mujer le ha dejado,
pero pasa a tope. Est� feliz,

duerme y no hay que molestarle.

�Est� claro?

Muy claro, s�.

Me va a o�r.

�Marl�ne!

�Puedo llamarla Marl�ne?

No faltaba m�s.

Comprendo bien al Sr. Brochant
y quiero darle un consejo.

Le escucho.

Espere un poco. Su mujer se
ha ido, pero no se precipite.

Siga siendo la amante
sensual y divertida,

de las de liguero y champ�n,
�me entiende?

Siga vi�ndole tres o cuatro
veces por semana,

distr�igale y espere.
Si tiene que ir a Vd., ir�.

�Le dijo que me ve�a 3
� 4 veces por semana?

Creo que le ver�a
todos los d�as si pudiese,

as� que no insista y vuelva
a su casa, es lo mejor.

S�, m�s vale
que no le despierte.

Bravo. Y voy a hacerle
una predicci�n.

Llamar� a su puerta
con un ramo de flores.

�Vd. es quien cenaba
hoy con �l?

�Le ha hablado de m�?

Le hubiese reconocido
de todas formas.

Buen trabajo.

Vi la luz y supuse
que no dorm�a.

-�Sigue aqu�?
-D� gracias al cielo de que as� sea.

-�Por qu�?
-Hemos tenido visita.

-�Qui�n?
-La loca.

�Marl�ne?

Iba a forzar la puerta
de su habitaci�n,

pero afortunadamente, un tal Pignon
le dijo: "�Prohibido el paso!"

�La ha echado?

S�, y creo que esta vez
he estado de lo m�s sutil.

Altern� dulzura y firmeza y se fue.
Y no creo que vuelva por aqu�.

Me alegro.

Es una l�stima,
porque es guapa de verdad.

�A qu� se dedica?

Escribe.

�Tambi�n ella? �Se acuesta Vd.
con todos sus autores?

M�tase en sus asuntos.

Bien, no es asunto m�o, pero
pienso que eso no est� bien.

Siempre le he sido fiel
a mi mujer.

Y eso que en el Ministerio
no faltan oportunidades.

Ahora quisiera
un poco de tranquilidad.

Vaya, hoy no paramos.

�Qui�n es?

El Sr. Leblanc.

-Aun as� has venido.
-No quer�a dejarte solo.

No estaba solo,
me he ocupado bien de �l.

Muy bien.
�No se iba, se�or Pignon?

S�, me voy.

-Le dejo mi expediente, le distraer�.
-Gracias, no es necesario.

-Construyo con cerillas.
-Se�or Pignon...

Tancarville,
uno de mis mayores logros.

Justo no ha venido
a hablar de maquetas.

Entiendo, disculpen.

Y ll�vese su expediente,
hoy no estoy de humor.

-�Qu� es de tu vida?
-Sigo escribiendo.

Tranquilo, tengo editor.

-�Qu� escribes?
-Despu�s.

Ella acaba de llamarme.

Dudaba entre volver y hacer
una tonter�a, intent�

convencerla de que volviese.

�Qu� tonter�a?

Temo que haya ido
a casa de Meneaux.

Pascal Meneaux,

el publicista,
debe estar con �l.

-�No!
-S�.

Lleva tiempo tras ella,
ella resisti�, pero...

�No ha acabado?

Las guardo por orden cronol�gico,
las m�s antiguas primero.

-Ord�nelas en su casa.
-Bien.

�Meneaux es lo peor!

Quiz� por eso lo eligi�.
Est� resentida.

Y elige un Don Juan, un lig�n.
�Est� loca!

�Y la m�a,
que eligi� un gilipollas?

�Quiere dejarme en paz!

Me voy.
Adi�s, se�or Brochant.

-�D�nde vive?
-Tiene un picadero en Par�s,

pero no s� las se�as.

Adi�s, Sr. Leblanc.

Es un secreto.
�Qui�n podr�a informarnos?

Adi�s, Sr. Brochant.

�Alguna forma habr�
de averiguarlo!

Meneaux ha sido inspeccionado.

Si es Meneaux, he visto
su expediente en el Ministerio.

Le inspecciona Cheval, un amigo m�o.
S�, tiene un picadero en Par�s,

pero no es ning�n secreto.
Al menos, para nosotros.

Adi�s, Sr. Brochant.

�Alc�nzalo, joder!

Brochant
quisiera hablarle.

Disculpe, estaba
un poco nervioso.

Reconozco que me ha herido.

Echo a esa loca y no me lo agradece,
me tira mis fotos a la cabeza...

-Disc�lpeme. �Quiere beber algo?
-No, gracias.

S�lo las estoy recogiendo,
no le molestar� m�s.

No me molesta.

Hace construcciones incre�bles
con cerillas.

�En serio?

Mi primera obra, 343 cerillas.
Ver� Vd. que es

-bastante rudimentaria.
-Pero prometedora.

Espere a ver el resto.

Podr�a conseguirnos las se�as
de ese piso.

No quiero llamar
a Cheval a estas horas.

Estar� viendo el f�tbol
en la tele y le molestar�a.

-Un derrick.
-Magn�fico. �Lo has visto?

S�.

�Saben c�mo lo he llamado?

"Beau Derrick". Por la actriz
americana, Bo Derek.

Beau Derrick, Bo Derek.

No saben cu�nto nos re�mos
en la oficina.

Mi mujer est� con un obseso sexual,
podr�a hacer un esfuerzo y llamar.

-Espere al descanso.
-�Por qu�?

Si le llamo antes del descanso,
me mandar� a paseo.

-�Y cu�ndo es el descanso?
-Lo mejor es ver el partido.

-�Tiene tele?
-No voy a ver f�tbol ahora.

-Es Marsella-Auxerre.
-�Me da igual!

Disculpe,
hay una tele en el sal�n.

�Ale Auxerre, ale Auxerre,
ale, ale...!

-�No es un poco tonto?
-Por eso le invit�.

-�Es el tipo de tu...?
-S�, es horrible.

No me lo creo.

-�Es el idiota de tu cena?
-No puedo m�s.

-No hace gracia.
-Perdona, te veo con tu lumbago

y tu pena de amor
en manos de ese...

Calla, por favor.

Sabes, cuando me dijo
que te dejaba no me alegr�,

pero te veo con ese capullo...

Joder...

No te muevas.

�Precioso!

�Pignon!

�Ya voy!

�Auxerre ha marcado!
El descanso...

-�Ha vuelto?
-Fran�ois Pignon, Marl�ne.

�A qui�n ha echado antes?

�A Marl�ne!

�Marl�ne es �sta!
�A qui�n ha echado?

Si es para re�rte,
l�rgate.

Disculpa.

�Era rubia,
con un impermeable beige?

Me dice: "Que viene la loca,
que viene la loca."

Llega una mujer
y pienso: "Es la loca."

�De qui�n habla?

Ahora vuelvo.

�Qu� le ha dicho?

-�A qui�n?
-�A mi mujer!

Nada.

Vuelve, hablan 5 minutos
y se larga corriendo.

-�Qu� le dijo?
-Cre�a que era la hist�rica.

Que hab�a largado a sus perros
y que ven�a, la muy ninf�mana.

�De qui�n habla?

Vuelve a tu casa,
tengo un problema.

Esc�chame...

Marl�ne, vete, por favor.

�Me espachurro con los perros en el
coche para venir a verte y me echas?

V�yase antes de que esto
se ponga feo.

�Vete, Marl�ne!

L�rguese, es lo mejor
que puede hacer.

Ha echado a mi mujer.

Lo siento, se�or Brochant.

Volvi� y la ech�. La envi�
directo a casa de Meneaux.

Vale, he metido la pata,
pero es un error comprensible.

V�yase.

No, le necesitamos.
Llame a Cheval.

No quiero verle,
que se vaya.

Lo siento. Ojal� me tragara
la tierra, s�lo quer�a

El descanso.
Hay que llamar a Cheval.

Lo arreglar�. D�game que llame
a Cheval. Por favor, d�gamelo.

D�selo. Hay que sacar
a Christine de ah�.

-D�game que le llame.
-D�selo.

Llame a Cheval.

�Gracias, se�or Brochant!

Todo se arreglar�, ya lo ver�,
todo se arreglar�.

Lucien, �qu� tal?
Soy Fran�ois.

�Qu� tal se siente
el forofo del Auxerre?

No soy un forofo.
Y 2-1 , a�n no hemos perdido.

�Les cascan dos goles en cinco
minutos y a�n no han perdido!

Los de Auxerre son unos payasos,
unos capullos, unos mierdas.

�Y a qui�n le panearon en Burdeos?
�Al Auxerre?

"�Marsella, hasta el fondo,
que te lo metan bien hondo!"

�Que te den por saco!

�Lo mismo te digo!

�Ser� gilipollas!

Ale, Marsella... "�Marsella,
a cagar! �Marsella, a cagar!"

Qu� capullo.

Llamo otra vez.

-Es un fuera de serie.
-Lleva una hora as�.

Tranquilo, le llamo.
En el fondo nos adoramos.

Lucien, tengo que pedirte
un favor.

-Vale, pero con una condici�n.
-�Cu�l?

Que grites "�Ale, Marsella!".

Quiero o�rte gritar:
"�Ale, Marsella!"

�Venga, hombre!

"�Ale, Marsella, ale,
Marsella!"

Que conste que lo hago
por usted, Pierre.

Es algo serio.

-S�, es importante.
-Te escucho.

T� llevas el expediente
Meneaux, �no? El publicista.

Afirmativo.

Quiero saber las se�as
de su picadero.

No eres su estilo, sabes.

�C�mo?

Le gustan con m�s pecho
y menos pelos en las piernas.

Es un cachondo.

Hablo en serio,
necesito la direcci�n.

�Por qu� la quieres?

Es para un amigo.
Piensa que su mujer est� all�.

�En casa de Meneaux?
�Su mujer? �Pobrecito!

-�Lo entiendes ahora?
-�Y que lo digas!

Le he visto en acci�n.

Ve una falda y se vuelve loco.

Es un cerdo.

Bien, ya basta.

�Conozco a ese cornudo?

No creo.
�Le han inspeccionado?

No.

-No le conoces. �La direcci�n?
-No la s�.

-La tengo en el despacho. Ma�ana.
-No puedo esperar.

Es urgente.
T�malo como un favor personal,

�puedes ir al Ministerio
ahora?

�Ahora?
�Y el partido?

Gr�balo, veremos
el segundo tiempo juntos.

No puedo, le estoy grabando
el patinaje a Charlotte.

Te lo grabamos aqu�,
ve r�pido al Ministerio.

Mira que eres co�azo.
Ni siquiera he cenado.

-Que cene aqu�.
-Mi amigo te invita.

Ni siquiera le conozco.

Es muy simp�tico. Ve r�pido,
a esta hora no hay tr�fico.

�Mira que eres co�azo!

He dicho "Ale, Marsella".
�He dicho "Ale, Marsella"!

�Direcci�n?

Calle de la
Universidad 9, 5� izda.

-Hasta ahora.
-Hasta ahora.

�Hemos ganado, Sr. Cornudo!
Quiero decir, Sr. Brochant.

No ha sido f�cil,
pero hemos ganado.

-�Est�s bien?
-Mejor. Me sientan bien las pastillas.

Hay que grabarle el partido
a ese tarado.

De tarado nada, es de los mejores
inspectores que tenemos.

Le sueltan en un piso as�
y se pone las botas.

Quiz� no sea prudente invitar a
un inspector de Hacienda a casa.

Soy amigo suyo,
no va a hacer horas extra

-conmigo, �no?
-Inspeccionar�a a su propia madre.

�Es una copia?

Si no tiene nada
que reprocharse, si lo tiene

todo declarado,
no se preocupe.

�Qu� le damos
de cenar?

Hay congelados y huevos.

Le har� una buena tortilla.

-Ay�dame.
-Cuidado con tu espalda.

-�D�nde dejo esto?
-Lo guardaremos todo en mi cuarto.

Bastante dif�cil
lo tengo ya...

Consigue que tu mujer se vaya con otro
y que te inspeccionen. �Incre�ble!

-�Qu� vino es?
-Lafitte Rothschild del 78.

-Notar� que es un vino excepcional.
-No tengo otro.

-�Ning�n vino corriente?
-No.

He currado toda mi vida
para no beber vino corriente.

S�lo tengo buenos vinos.
Que beba agua.

-�Entiende de vino?
-�Cheval? S�, s� entiende.

Le va a gustar esta botella.

�Le oyes?
Tenemos un problema.

Ahora mismo lo arreglo.

Tiene aroma.

-�Qu� haces?
-Meto vinagre en mi Ch�teau Lafitte.

As� transformas un buen vino
en vinorro.

Ya est�.
Un Lafitte pele�n.

-Prueba.
-No. Prueba t�.

No, gracias.

Qu� raro.
Le ha dado cuerpo.

-�Maldita sea!
-No est� peor.

-Creo que incluso est� mejor.
-Sin duda.

A ver...

S�.
Es bueno saberlo.

Deber�a bastar.

-No, no, no.
-S�, s�, s�.

-�El servicio!
-All�.

Perfecto.

Cheval.

5� izquierda.

-�Se siente bien?
-S�.

-Ah� llega.
-Ya voy yo.

�No vas a darle eso!

Lucien Cheval, Pierre Brochant,
Justo Leblanc.

Le agradezco que...

-�No me diga nada!
-�C�mo?

El partido.
No me diga nada.

Auxerre ha empatado,
pero no digo nada.

-�Ha empatado?
-Qu� va, es una broma.

Capullo... �capullo!

�A que es un capullo?

�La cara que has puesto cuando
he dicho que hab�a empatado!

�Ya est� contento
para toda la noche!

Disculpe, es urgente,
�tiene las se�as?

-Es el se�or del que te habl�...
-Ah s�, el...

-Eso, s�.
-Tengo las se�as aqu�.

Me muero de hambre.

Si�ntate, te he hecho una tortilla
que te vas a chupar los dedos.

�Voy a comer solo?

S�, ya hemos cenado.
Bien, el picadero.

Inspeccion� a un tal Michel Brochant
hace 3 a�os. �Pariente suyo?

Es posible.
�D�nde vive?

En la c�rcel.
Le cayeron 5 a�os.

Era muy simp�tico, ten�a

un piso grande y precioso
como el suyo, que se subast�.

A ver ese picadero.

Va a costarnos encontrarlo,
tiene muchas propiedades.

La publicidad
es un buen negocio.

�A qu� se dedica Vd.,
Sr. Brochant?

Soy editor.

Eso va muy bien, �no?

Haga el favor, Sr. Cheval.
La direcci�n.

Calle SaintJames...
No, ah� es donde vive.

-�D�nde est� ese nido de amor?
-�Y una buena tortilla!

-�Marchando!
-Gracias, Fran�ois.

Un vinito sin pretensiones.
Un poco rasc�n,

pero es una ganga.

A ver esta tortilla...

-�Qu� pasa?
-Tu tortilla est� estupenda.

Ser� tonto.
Gracias, Lucien.

Ligera, untuosa...

El secreto es echar
una gotita de cerveza

-al batir los huevos.
-�Las se�as, joder!

Calle Lincoln.
No, eso es su oficina.

Calle del Templo...

no, esto tampoco.

�Le han embargado?

�No, por qu�?

Hay marcas en las paredes, como
si hubiesen quitado cuadros.

�Lo ve todo, es tremendo!
�Eres tremendo, Lucien!

�Va a ayudarle
o a inspeccionarle?

�No, va a ayudarle!
�Verdad, Lucien?

Date prisa, el pobre Sr. Brochant
est� sobre ascuas.

El pobre Sr. Brochant...

De acuerdo,
Meneaux es un pajarraco,

pero ya saben: "El gallo est�
suelto, guarden sus gallinas."

Aqu� est�. Bulevar Maurice Barr�s.
Sab�a que era en el Bosque.

Maurice Barr�s 37 bis.

-En Neuilly.
-Bravo.

-Voy.
-Espera, tienes que estar seguro.

No vas a presentarte all�
sin estar seguro.

Adem�s, no abrir�,
es muy desconfiado.

-Echar� la puerta abajo.
-No es tan f�cil.

�Y si lo consigues
y Christine no est�,

-�qu� haces?
-Podemos llamarle.

�Y le pregunto si la tiene en su cama?
Y dir� "Claro, debajo del edred�n".

�Debajo del edred�n!
�Del edred�n!

�Basta ya!

Hab�a un adorno aqu�.
Hab�a un adorno.

Hay polvo alrededor.

�Se lo dije,
es un profesional!

�Bravo, Lucien!

Voy a sonrojarme.

�No seas modesto,
has pillado a muchos!

�Ya tenemos las se�as,
que se vayan!

Por favor, basta ya.

Tengo una idea.
�Me oyes? Tengo una idea.

Hay que asustarle para
obligarle a decir la verdad.

�C�mo?

Llamamos y decimos que lo
sabes todo, que vas hacia all�.

Incluso, que vas
con tres gorilas amigos tuyos.

No est� mal.

Si ella est�, la echar� asustado.
Si no est�, lo sabremos.

Eso est� muy bien,
buena t�ctica.

�Llamamos? �Qui�n llama?
Yo no puedo, conoce mi voz.

Lo mismo digo.

Yo imposible,
me paso el d�a con �l.

Me huele que me van
a necesitar.

-�No!
-Es el �nico que puede hacerlo.

�Adelante, estoy en forma!

Vamos, no habr� problemas.

Ya ver�s.

Por m�, le ayudo,
pero si no quiere...

Esperen. �De parte
de qui�n llamamos?

De parte de un amigo suyo que tenga
el n�mero. Si no, se mosquear�.

Llame de parte de Roussin,
su socio, est�n siempre juntos.

Pues ya est�.

�Por qu� no llama �l mismo?

�Por qu� hace Roussin
que llame otro?

Porque est� en un avi�n.

Se iba de viaje esta noche.
Me lo dijo Meneaux.

Estupendo.

Decimos que Roussin
no pudo contactarle.

�Es perfecto!

-�Ha comprendido la estrategia?
-Est� muy clara.

�Que ensaye primero!
�Tiene que ensayar mucho, mucho!

Si�ntese, Sr. Pignon, y repita:

"Le llamo de parte de Roussin,
intent� contactarle antes de irse."

-Vale.
-�Repita!

Yo soy Meneaux, rep�tamelo.

Lo he entendido.

Por favor, repita
exactamente: "�Oiga?"

�Oiga? Le llamo de parte
de Roussin.

Muy bien.

No pudo contactarle
y tiene un mensaje urgente.

Perfecto, �no?

Ya veremos. Y a�ade:
"Brochant lo sabe todo."

-De acuerdo.
-�Repita!

�No es idiota!

"Brochant lo sabe todo".

�l dice: "�Qu�?" y Vd.: "Sabe
lo de su mujer y va hacia all�."

�l dice: "�Qui�n llama"?
Y usted:

"Soy un amigo de Roussin, me
dijo que Brochant no estaba solo."

"Va con tres amigos suyos
que est�n cuadrados."

Un artista, �eh?

-S�lo es repetir como un loro.
-Pero est� perfecto.

Quiz� podr�a improvisar
un poco.

�No!

No grite as�,
me ha pegado un susto.

Repita exactamente
lo que le he dicho.

Bien, no perdamos m�s tiempo.

�El n�mero?

01 47 47 39 63.

�All� vamos!

Tengo miedo.

-La estrategia es excelente.
-Me preocupa el estratega.

-Est� sonando.
-Ponga el altavoz.

Ojal� no hayan empezado.

-No contesta.
-Tendr� algo mejor que hacer.

-�Pascal Meneaux?
-S�.

Voz cansada, mala se�al.

Mala se�al.

Disculpe que le moleste,

le llamo de parte
de Jean-Paul Roussin.

�S�?

Intent� contactarle antes de irse,
ten�a un mensaje urgente.

Le escucho.

-Brochant lo sabe.
-�Qu�?

Sabe lo de su mujer
y va hacia su casa.

Bravo.

�Qui�n llama?

Un amigo de Roussin, Brochant
va hacia all� y no est� solo.

Va con tres amigos suyos
que est�n cuadrados.

�Est� loco,
no estoy con su mujer!

�Con ella no?

No, cancel� la cita.

Pues Roussin

me dijo "Est� con la Sra. Brochant".

Para nada.

Estoy con la mujer
de mi inspector fiscal.

�C�mo?

Un cabr�n que no me deja en paz.
Me estoy tirando

a su mujer,
no a la Sra. Brochant.

�Puedo utilizar su tel�fono?

No faltaba m�s.

Fue de compras a
los Campos El�seos esta tarde,

y le dije "Ll�vame este formulario
al despacho de Meneaux". Y ya ven.

Hola, Meneaux.

�Puede pasarme
a la Sra. Cheval, por favor?

Claro que me ha reconocido. Le
ver� ma�ana a las 9, como siempre,

volveremos a empezar
desde el principio.

Y ahora, p�seme a mi mujer.

�Charlotte?
No me des explicaciones,

quiero que te vayas de ah�
inmediatamente, ahora mismo.

�C�mo?
Claro que te vistes,

claro que te vistes.

No estoy solo, no puedo hablar
ahora, hablaremos en casa.

Charlotte, te grab�
el patinaje art�stico.

�Qu� vino es �ste?

Rasca un poco, �no?

Voy a devolver.
�D�nde est� el servicio?

Primera puerta
a la izquierda.

Dije a la izquierda.

Una habitaci�n
muy interesante.

Me sirve de trastero para
las cosas que no tienen valor.

-�Me da igual, es horrible!
-�El qu�?

�Esto apesta a defraudaci�n,
y me da igual!

Ser�nate. Vuelve a casa y date
una ducha, tienes que serenarte.

-�Te doy la cinta del partido?
-No estoy para partidos, gracias.

-Adi�s, Sr. Leblanc.
-Adi�s, Sr. Cheval.

-Adi�s, Sr. Brochant.
-Adi�s, gracias por venir.

No faltaba m�s,

nos veremos muy pronto. Porque voy
a inspeccionarle. Esto no est� claro.

Se recupera r�pido.

-�D�nde estar�?
-Vuelvo a casa. Si llama, te aviso.

Gracias.

Adi�s, Sr. Pignon.

�Se van todos?

S�, puede volver a su casa.

S�, soy yo.

S�, soy su marido.
�Por qu�, le ha pasado algo?

No.

�En qu� hospital?
Ahora voy.

Es la polic�a,
ha tenido un accidente.

-�Es grave?
-No,

un traumatismo,
pero est� en observaci�n.

-Si quiere puedo llevarle.
-No es necesario. Gracias.

Pierre, soy yo.

S� que est�s ah�.

Lo que haces no est� bien.

Me dijiste que ibas a dejar a
tu mujer, y mira c�mo me tratas.

Contesta, no me dejes as�,
te digo que estoy fatal.

Descuelga. Si no contestas,
soy capaz de hacer una locura.

Su mujer ha tenido
un accidente.

�Un accidente?

-No parece grave, pero...
-Lo tiene bien merecido.

No diga eso, Marl�ne.

Lo tiene bien merecido,
es un cerdo.

Total, su mujer ingresada y yo
voy a tirarme por la ventana.

No haga eso e intente comprender,
est� pasando un mal momento.

�Es un cerdo!

�Mierda, mi vaso!
�Vaya, la moqueta!

�Por qu� me habr� enamorado
de un cerdo as�!

Disculpe,
tengo que colgar.

No, no me deje.

Por favor, qu�dese un poco m�s,
me sienta bien hablar.

�Cuelgue!

-�Quiere suicidarse!
-Puro chantaje. Cuelgue.

�Y mis llaves?

Marl�ne, prometa que no va
a hacer una tonter�a.

Prometa que va a ser
razonable.

Usted s� es amable.
Pero �l es un cerdo.

�Qu� cerdo! �Qu� cerdo!

Vamos, no diga eso.

Es rastrero.

F�jese, hasta su forma
de divertirse.

Tengo que irme.

Si no fuese por su lumbago,
estar�a burl�ndose de un infeliz.

�C�mo, burl�ndose
de un infeliz?

�Cuelgue, joder!

�No se lo ha dicho?

Todas las semanas, �l y sus amigos
hacen una cena de idiotas.

Invitan al t�o m�s idiota que
encuentran para burlarse de �l.

Vamos.

Venga, vamos.
Tome, su malet�n...

R�pido, tengo prisa.

�Sr. Brochant?

�De qu� iba la cena
de esta noche?

Una cena con amigos
interesados por sus obras.

-Vamos ya.
-�Hab�a otros invitados?

S�, claro. �No podr�amos
hablarlo en el ascensor?

�Qu� tipo de invitados?

�A qu� viene
este interrogatorio?

S�lo quiero saber c�mo eligen
a los invitados.

�Ad�nde quiere ir a parar?

�Me ha invitado a una cena
de idiotas?

Ahora mismo sal�a
hacia el hospital.

�Qu� tal est�s?

�Qu� quieres decir?

Es rid�culo, no voy a dejarte
sola en el hospital.

Esta noche he comprendido
muchas cosas. Te necesito.

�Calla, paso de esa chica!

No es mi amante,

se lo invent� ese cretino.

Voy para all� y lo hablamos.

�De acuerdo?

�De acuerdo?
�Christine!

El cretino

se va, pero antes,
d�game:

�Me invit�
a una cena de idiotas?

Mire, en una sola noche

ha vengado a todos los idiotas
de todas las cenas del mundo entero.

Buenas noches.

Ella ten�a raz�n.

-Es Vd. malo, Sr. Brochant.
-S�, soy malo.

Tambi�n me lo dice Christine.
Todo el mundo est� de acuerdo.

Podr�a grabarlo en el contestador.
"�Qu� malo es Brochant!"

No mezcle el alcohol
con los medicamentos.

�Por qu� no?
Ser�a una bonita moraleja.

El malvado Brochant,

abandonado por todos,
se emborracha solo

y Pignon vuelve a casa pensando
"Ese cerdo se lo ha ganado."

"Qu� malo es Brochant,
qu� bueno es Pignon."

�Y ahora qu� hace?

D�me el n�mero
del hospital Bichat.

Ya empieza.

Gracias.

No van a pas�rsela,
es un hospital, no una cl�nica.

Hospital Bichat.

Quiero hablar con la Sra. Brochant,
ingres� debido a un accidente.

Los enfermos ya no reciben llamadas,
llame ma�ana a las nueve.

�Lo ve?

Le ruego que me pase
a la Sra. Brochant, soy...

soy el Profesor Sorbier.

Disculpe, un momento.

Estoy muy ocupado,
d�se prisa.

-Le paso a la Sra. Brochant.
-Gracias.

D�jese de tonter�as,
a m� me colg�.

El Profesor Sorbier,
Sra. Brochant.

�Sra. Brochant?

Hola, doctor.

No, no soy el Profesor Sorbier.

�Qui�n es Vd.?

Soy el idiota de su marido.

�C�mo?

Nos vimos esta noche.
Me llamo Pignon,

soy el idiota que su marido
invit� a la cena.

Le escucho.

Me he enterado por qu� me invit�
y se figurar� c�mo estoy.

Usted est� en estado de shock
y yo tambi�n.

�Oiga?

S�, sigo aqu�.

Pero no la llamo
para que me compadezca,

sino porque yo
me compadezco de �l.

Quiz� sea el hombre
m�s malo que conozco,

pero seguro que es
el m�s desgraciado.

Estaba con �l cuando le dijo
que no fuese al hospital

y le vi tan perdido,
tan desgraciado,

que intent� olvidar que era
un idiota y decid� llamarla.

�Sra. Brochant?

Mi mujer me dej� hace dos a�os
y ese d�a, todo acab� para m�.

He sobrevivido
gracias a mis maquetas.

Pero en el fondo,
sigo destrozado,

y eso no se lo deseo a nadie,
ni siquiera a su marido.

Supongo que est� con Vd.

�C�mo?

Est� con Vd. y le est� soplando
este gui�n enternecedor.

Le doy mi palabra de que ha sido
idea m�a y de que no me ha soplado.

�Est� con usted?

No, la llamo desde una cabina.

No me quiere.
Creo que no quiere a nadie.

Se�ora Brochant,

durante dos horas,
estuvo como loco busc�ndola.

Incluso llam� a Meneaux,
sac�ndole de los brazos

de una se�ora
que no era usted.

�Llam� a Meneaux?

S�.

No sabe lo que ha hecho
esta noche por amor a usted.

Se ha reconciliado con su mejor
amigo, ha dejado a su amante,

incluso se ha enfrentado
a un inspector de Hacienda,

ha tirado todos los trapos
sucios de su vida

y ahora est� solo en su piso
mezclando alcohol y medicamentos...

y estoy preocupado,

porque s� que se puede
morir de amor.

Voy a pens�rmelo.
Gracias por llamar, Sr. Pignon.

De nada.

Adi�s, Sra. Brochant.

Llamar�.

Sigue en pie la cena del mi�rcoles,
pero Vd. me llevar� a m�.

-Y ganar� el premio.
-Estoy agotado.

Es agotador ser inteligente.

Tendr� que probar.

En todo caso, prom�tame algo.

Lo que quiera.

Que se lo pensar� antes
de llamar idiota a alguien.

Se lo prometo.
Se lo juro.

Hola, Sra. Brochant,
le paso.

�Qu� hace ah�?
�No llam� desde una cabina?

�Ser� idiota!

No, he vuelto
a casa de su marido...

se lo explicar�...

-�Ser� idiota!
-�Ahora la llamo, ahora la llamo!

-�La llamo, todo se arreglar�!
-�Ser� idiota!

Hello, Mr Michaux!
You're no bother at all!

l'm practicing in the park
with my boomerang.

l do it before the office,
to relieve stress.

Dinner Wednesday evening?
l'd be delighted!

Hi!

- Coming to the game Wednesday?
- No, l have a dinner date.

- Coffee, Charlie.
- What dinner date?

- One of our big customers invited me.
- Why you?

At the bank, he stops at my window
and chats.

- What about?
- Everything: politics,

showbiz, sports.
He asks my opinion and l tell him.

Why you? You're an idiot!

Listen, there'll be bigshots
at that dinner!

Mr Perier says
they're very interested in my ideas.

So maybe the idiot isn't me, OK?

That's wonderful!

l'll definitely be there
on Wednesday,

barring a snag...

- You coming or going?
- Going.

To Biarritz.

- Why there?
- lt's my dad's birthday.

Hug him for me.

A coffee, please.

- Coming Wednesday?
- No, l'm busy. Are you going?

Sure. l'm in a bind:
l don't have an idiot.

l've looked all over.
Got one on hand?

No, but l'll think about it.
l'm late.

What's that?

Dad collects them.
A beauty, huh?

18th century, he'll love it.

- Your dad collects ladles?
- He has over 300.

He's retired: keeps him busy.

lnteresting!
Could he discuss his passion in public,

- tell us the story of ladles?
- No, Pierre.

- Does he come to Paris?
- No, Pierre, not Dad.

lt's a very original hobby.

- You want him for your dinner?
- How can you say that?

l'd take your dad
to an idiot dinner?

Yes.

So l'm a bastard, eh?

Yes.

l was just kidding.

But l don't have an idiot yet.
l'm panicked.

Hi, there.

Sorry!

Thanks.

- Sorry, it fell out.
- That's OK.

- Don't you recognize it?
- What?

The Eiffel Tower! Made of matchsticks.
346,422 to be exact.

You did that?

One of my finest pieces.

- You've done others?
- l'll say!

...Take the problem of lift.
ln this construction,

that was the biggest challenge:
lift!

But let's be basic: what is...

a suspension bridge?

The angle of the matches
can't be a tenth of a degree off!

A tenth of a degree,

think of it!

The Concorde
was a different problem.

- Here's a little quiz...
- We've arrived!

Which took me...

- longer, Eiffel or Concorde?
- We've arrived!

Already!

How time flies!

Pierre Brochant, please.
lt's Jean Cordier.

Pierre? l've got one!

- What's he like?
- A world champion!

THE DlNNER GAME

PARlS - The Ministry of Finance

How's the soccer fan?

"Marseilles are turds,
for the birds!"

Paris'll get it Wednesday!

Look at that asshole!

Sorry, Louisette.

l'm used to it.

Brochant Publishers here.
Mr Pignon, please.

Speaking.

Mr Brochant for you.

- Mr Pignon?
- Yes.

A friend, Jean Cordier, met you.

It was on the train.

Yes, of course...

He said a lot about you.
l want to meet you.

To meet me?

Francois Pignon!
He was so awed, he was speechless.

lt'll be a delight!

- Who's Michaux bringing?
- A boomerang collector.

- That's a good one.
- Priceless, l hear.

- How many will we be?
- Ten, with Pignon.

lt's shaping up.

- Shit!
- What is it?

Christine!

- Did you cancel out of your dinner?
- My God, that's cold!

- Did you cancel out?
- A sore back needs heat...

- Dr. Sorbier said ice.
- You reached him?

ln his car.
He'll be here soon.

Great. l need a drink.
A splash of scotch.

- Does a bad back make one deaf?
- No, l didn't cancel out.

You're still going
to that vicious dinner?

lt's great fun.
You think it's vicious...

Don't sulk
just because l enjoy it!

Cancel your dinner. Stay with me.
l'm a bit low.

So come with me, for a change.
You'll enjoy

our dinners.

lnviting a poor guy
to make fun of him?

But he's an idiot!
ldiots are fair game.

A drink at his place,
then dinner.

At a restaurant?

No, his friend
has organized a big dinner.

l'm nervous...
Which one?

They're the same.

This one's redder.
lt's more imaginative.

Mustn't forget my model file...

He wants to do a book!
On my models, you realize?

Hurry, you'll be late.

You asked him here?

To study him before the dinner.
l hear he's fabulous.

l'll leave you two together.
Enjoy!

- Where are you going?
- l have a dinner too.

l didn't want to go...

Dinner with whom?

ls it him? l won't meet him.

No, it's the doctor.

- Sorbier.
- Come on up, doctor.

Good evening, doctor.

Fix him:
he has an important dinner tonight.

An idiot dinner.
Each regular has to bring an idiot...

Christine, please!

The idiots don't know
why they've been picked.

The fun is making them talk.
Hilarious!

Not to me, so l won't go.
Good night, doctor.

Sorry. lt was for a sore back,
not a family squabble.

Can l wash my hands?

First door on the left.

ln college, we gave "dog" dinners.

The ugliest girl got a prize.

Yes, we did that too.

- ldiots are funnier.
- But less definite.

Some idiots are flagrant.

This one's unmistakable.

You look great.

Thanks, Louisette.

Have a nice evening.
Dazzle them!

- A friend of yours?
- No.

My friends are not that dumb.

We pick aces.
This is big league.

- Where do you find them?
- lt's hard.

A real manhunt.
We have scouts who tip us off.

5th lumbar vertebra!

- ls it serious?
- No, but call off your dinner.

No!

Rest your back tonight.
l'll stop by tomorrow.

l have an A-one idiot coming!

Give me a shot!
l don't care! Anything!

The icebag and rest.

Or you'll be out for 3 weeks.

l'm jinxed.

My phone book, please.

The phone.

What's his name?

- What does he do?
- He's a tax man.

That's dangerous.
What if he finds out?

He won't. We're careful.
No idiot ever found out.

He's out.

- Holy shit!
- What?

His message.
He tries to be witty. Pathetic.

francois is out, but don't pout!

No need to weep,
wait for the beep!

Your turn to peep!

- lsn't he something?
- Outstanding, l'd say.

- Here he is.
- Don't move, l'll get it.

It's francois Pignon.

5th floor, left.

He's coming.

l'll leave you a sedative:
take 2

- if you're in pain.
- Wait for him. lt'll be fun.

l'm late. See you tomorrow.
Call me at home

- if it's worse.
- See you. Leave the door open.

- Do me a favor.
- Certainly.

Never invite me to dinner.
l'd wonder!

- Good evening.
- Evening, sir.

Go on in. lt's open.

Evening, Mr Pignon!
Come on in!

l can't get up.

l wrenched my back.
We'll have to put off our dinner.

l'm sorry for you.
A sore back is no fun.

lt's silly. What are you doing
next Wednesday?

Next Wednesday... nothing.

My friend's giving another dinner:
you're invited.

How very nice.

We missed you today.
We won't miss you next week.

...l'm talking about
the authentic boomerang,

not those you find
in Sydney souvenir stores,

the primitive boomerang
of proud aborigine warriors,

that boomerang

has a dynamism, a motion,
when it's thrown correctly,

that is miraculous!

How are you?

Not too hot. l'm a wreck...
lt's a real shame.

Sit down...

No, tonight it won't be possible.

We haven't sat down
to dinner yet, so...

lt can behead a kangaroo from 150ft!

OK, but don't count on us.

Yes, he's here...

Very nice.

He has the look of a winner.

l'll have him there next week.
'Bye!

So how are you, Mr Pignon?

Very well, thanks.

The message on your machine
is so witty.

Really? l wanted it to be original.

l'm still laughing.

Everybody comments on it.
Friends ask me to do

- their messages.
- l can see why.

l could do yours...

No need.

Takes a jiffy...

No, it's fine as it is.

A bit stuffy for you...

l'm delighted to meet you.

Likewise.
Since you called me at the Ministry,

l've been walking on air.

l thought it was a gag.
Did l sound dumb on the phone?

Yes... l mean, no.
You were perfect.

A big publisher
wanting to do a book on my models,

inviting me to dinner.

You've changed my life.

The book project isn't firm yet...

l brought photos of my finest pieces.

Superb.

- Took me 8 months.
- lt shows.

You do them at night?

And weekends.
Whenever l have time.

- Are you married?
- Yes... l mean, no.

Tancarville Bridge.

Great! Are you married or not?

Let's say...
my wife left me.

For a friend of mine.

Those things happen.

A guy l knew at the Ministry,
not a bad guy.

l invited him home:
she fell for him.

l don't know why,
because between us, he's no genius.

How many matches in this one?

He's no genius?

The guy she ran off with.
What a dumbbell!

Come on, say a number.

Dumber than... You're smart:
how does he rate against you?

Sorry to be vulgar, but there's only
one word: he's an asshole!

My God!

Well?

How could she run off
with an asshole?

l agree.
He only talks about windsurfing!

- Can l meet him?
- You like windsurfing?

l adore it.

Then you'll love J.P. Benjamin!
We call him Dumbo.

He's in the phone book.
Under Benjamin, not Dumbo.

So how many matches?

2000?

346,422!

That's not all.
How many

tubes of glue?

We're going to that dinner!

- You can walk?
- l'll try.

- Got a car?
- Sure.

lf you drive, we'll manage.
Help me up.

Here we go.

You OK?

Take it easy.

37!

Tubes of glue. 37.

We'll spend a wonderful evening,
Mr Pignon!

l'm so sorry... Are you hurt?

Any broken bones?

- Now what?
- A chiropractor!

- No need.
- A buddy. He's great.

- l don't need him!
- The best in North Paris.

l don't want him!
Go home, l'll be fine.

And the dinner?

lt's off.
l'm in no shape now!

The machine's on.

We're out. Speak after the beep.

Your message is a bit flat.

It's me.
I'm not coming home tonight.

I may never come home again.

Sorry to teII

you this on a machine,
but maybe it's best.

Good-bye, Pierre.

l'll be off...

- Sure you don't need anything?
- No.

Everything's fine. Good night.

Sorry...

l forgot my briefcase.

l'm with you, Mr Brochant.
All the way!

Thanks a lot, good-bye.

Good-bye.

What can l do for you?

Nothing, l'm fine, good night.

l really know
what you're going through.

l'd like to be left alone!

l said that when she left me.
And l nearly died of grief in my home.

You've got a bad back, too!

She hasn't left me.
She's a bit low.

She'll be back.
Go home, good night!

"She'll be back".
That's what l said. 2 years ago!

l'm off to bed, turn out the lights.

Can't l call my chiropractor buddy?

No!

He's great. And cheap.
Know what he charges for house calls?

l'm with Prof. Sorbier
of the West Side Hospital.

l don't need your buddy!

Yours may be good,
but look at you now!

Because you fell on me!

Why do l argue with this jerk?

You're like a horse that missed a jump.
At the track, they'd shoot you.

Go away, Mr Pignon!

Your back could be fatal.

lf the spinal marrow is affected,
it's paralysis.

You'll need a miracle!

- Call Sorbier!
- That's better!

What's his number?

ln that book...

Prof. Sorbier, please.
For Pierre Brochant.

l need the doctor,
it's an emergency.

There's no doctor here.

Sorry, l dialed a wrong number.

l skipped a line.

The writing's so tiny...

Hang up!

Yes, l'm at his place...

He's here...

No, he's in rotten shape...

A crick in his back.
Lousy luck, he can't move,

he's spread out on the floor

like an old sack.

Who are you talking to?

Who am l talking to?

Really?

Then l can tell you
he's in very bad shape.

His wife left him, too.

He's broken, body and soul!

Stop that!

l must hang up, his nerves
are cracking. l will. Bye!

lt was your sister!

l don't have one.

You don't?

l said, "Who is this?"
She said, "His sister".

He called Marlene!

She's not your sister?

Her name is Marlene Hissister!

How could l know? She said:
"Marlene, his sister". lt's confusing.

Gimme that phone.

Hurry!

lf my wife's gone,
she'll come running.

All l need is a nymphomaniac!

She's a nympho, too? Oh, my!

Drop it!

lf l call, she'll go on for hours!
Say my wife's back.

Hurry, dammit!

- My wife's back, all's well.
- Really?

That's what you say!

Right, sorry.

Marlene Hissister!

Marlene Hissister?

Me again. l'm calling to say
Mrs Brochant came home.

Yes, a moment ago.

She's fine, Mr Brochant is fine,
everybody's fine.

His back is sore,
but he's taking it well..

Say good-bye!

l'm not really a friend of his.
He likes my models.

l make matchstick models
of engineering feats,

Tancarville bridge,
the Golden Gate bridge...

- She doesn't care!
- She's very interested!

Don't tie up my phone!

Sorry, l have to go now,

he needs me and in his shape
l can't leave him alone.

Oh, my God!

All alone? His wife isn't back?

What?

Sure she's back...
but she stepped out...

She hasn't walked out,
she stepped out... To empty thegarbage.

What is this?

Aries, with Gemini rising...

- Aries don't lie... l'm not lying.
- Enough!

l'll be right over.

She said "l'll be right over"
and hung up.

Give me that phone!

Sorry, l played it too cool...
l didn't expect her

to be so cunning.

lt's you, darling... l'll drop off
the dogs and be right over.

Don't! My wife'll be home
any minute, don't come over!

Sorry, but l doubt
she'll be returning.

Know what l think?
She's gone back to Leblanc.

Leblanc! Why bring him up?...
Leblanc, that's all over!

l say she's with no one!
Please stay home tonight, OK?

That nut won't listen!

You can go now, l need to be alone.

Can l help you to your room?
You can't sleep on the floor!

Get me to the sofa.

Gently.

Look ahead.

- They're all alike, eh?
- What?

l overheard: l gather yours, too,
ran off with someone.

She ran off with nobody.

Mine ran off with nobody, too.

Because J.P. Benjamin is a nobody.
But she ran off with him!

Hadn't we said good-bye?

Yes, l'll be off...

l'll get you some water
for the pills. Then l'll leave.

ls he a friend of yours?

Go to hell!

Briefcase!

When you asked about my life,
l didn't say "Go to hell".

Farewell, Mr Brochant.

Leblanc was my best friend.
We quarreled

2 years ago. OK?

Over what?
He made a play for your wife!

No, l stole her from him.

He lived with Christine,
she left him for me.

They wrote a novel together

- and brought it to me.
- Then what?

l took both, the novel and Christine.

All you windsurfers
swipe your friends' wives!

l'm not a windsurfer!

Listen,
you told me before...

l don't do it enough to swipe
my friends'... What am l saying?

ls your curiosity

satisfied?

Why don't you phone him?

Who?

Him. To see if she went back to him!

l call and say:
"Did the woman l stole come back?"

You'd be clued in.

l called J.P. Benjamin:
"Have you left with Florence?"

He said yes and hung up.
At least l knew.

What if l call him?

You?

l say: "l'm a friend of Mrs. Brochant,
where can l reach her?"

He won't suspect a thing!

l'm just trying to help.

Thanks. But she's not with him.
l need rest.

l won't insist.

Good night!

lf l tell you exactly what to say,
could you do it?

Sometimes l feel
you think l'm an idiot.

Of course l can! What do l say?

We could use the book they wrote.

Tell him you're a movie producer.

You've read the book

- and want the movie rights.
- Good idea!

Then casually,

- you ask about his co-author.
- Co-author?

My wife! He wrote it with her!

Right, sorry.

- lt'll never work!
- lt will!

- lt's not easy, but l got it.
- Not easy?

You're a producer, OK?

You have a company in Paris.

No, he knows everybody here.
Foreign.

American? German?

Belgian! That's it!

Why Belgian?

lt suits you.

You're a Belgian producer, you read
"The Merry-Go-Round" and want to buy

- the movie rights, OK?
- ls it a good book?

Awful!
What's the problem?

- lt bothers me a bit.
- Why?

lf it's awful, why do l want the rights?

You're not a producer, are you?

No.

- You're not Belgian, either?
- No.

You're not calling about the book,
you're calling about my wife!

That's tricky, but clever as hell!

- What's his number?
- 47 45...

Never mind, l'll dial it.

- His name is Just Leblanc.
- He has no first name?

l told you: Just Leblanc.

Leblanc's his name,
Just his first name.

Mr Pignon, your first name's

Francois. Just think:

His is Just.

We're wasting time.

My wife wrote under her maiden name,
Le Guirrec.

She's from Brittany?

Please concentrate!

Sorry.

At the end, ask him where
you can contact

Christine Le Guirrec.
l'll put on the loudspeaker.

- Go to it.
- With a Belgian accent?

Can l talk to Mr Just Leblanc, like?

Speaking.

Good evening, Mr Leblanc,

George Van Brueghel here,
sorry to bother you so late,

l'm a Belgian producer,
just got in from Belgium, like,

and l'm very interested in your novel...

"The Merry-Go-Round"!

l'd like to discuss buying
the movie rights.

ls this a gag?

Not at all, why a gag?

- Etienne?
- What?

Cut it out, l know it's you.

You're mistaken. l'm not Etienne,
l'm a producer from Brussels.

What company?

Beg pardon?

What's your company caIIed?

Flatland Films.

A young, but dynamic company.

- And you're interested in my novel?
- Very interested.

For movies or TV?

A movie, for the big screen.

Not the idiot box!

l want to do the screenplay

myself.

No problem.
But we're a small company

with Iimited budgets.
If you're not too greedy...

We'II taIk money Iater.

When can l meet you, Mr...?

- Van Breughel...
- My wife!

l'll call tomorrow for a meeting.

- Talk to you tomorrow.
- Till tomorrow!

There! We have the rights!

And for a song, l'd say!
He fell for it, he did!

And my wife?

What?

He forgot my wife!

He gabs 5 minutes
and forgets my wife!

l blew it!

This tops my wildest dreams!

lndeed, l blew it.

This is record breaking!

- l'll call back.
- Gimme that phone!

l say: "How can l reach
your co-author, Christine Le Guirrec?"

Gimme that phone!

Too bad, we were about to find out.

You'll say: "How can l reach
your co-author, Christine Le Guirrec?"

Not a word more.

...Some guy with an appalling accent...

Van Brueghel...
His company's called Flatland Films...

l never heard of it, either...

Hold on, the other line's ringing.

Sorry to disturb you,
it's Van Breughel again.

My agent's on the other line.
l'll call you. What's your number?

01 45 90 56 03.

- He cut me off.
- l did, you dolt!

What do you mean, dolt?

You gave him my phone number!

Sure, he wants to call me back.

You never stop, do you?

Sorry, l'm out of my depth.
l'm doing my best, but...

World class!

Maybe the world champion!

lt's ringing!

lt rings, and he's happy!

He's calling... Don't we answer?

We're out, speak after the beep.

Pierre, it's Just.

I wondered about
the BeIgian weirdo, then reaIized

you're Iooking for your wife.

Ask me yourself,
without the accent. 'Bye.

Just? lt's me. Where is she?

l've waited 2 years for this.
But l feel sorry for you.

Don't. Just say if she's with you.

She called to say she'd left you.

She was very upset.

- She say where she was going?
- No.

Where could she be?

Painful, eh?

You went through it.
l've got a bad back, to boot!

No kidding?

You'd laugh if you saw me.
Bent over, unable to move.

Want me to stop by?

You're a pal, l'd rather be alone.
Thanks again.

lf she does call you again...

l'll call you, l promise.

Thanks.

l don't deserve a friend like you.

Hand me that pad, please.

Put this on the door.

"l've taken a sedative,

"l'm asleep,

"l need to be alone tonight."

- l hope she won't bug me!
- Shall l wait for her?

- You turn in, l'll stand guard.
- You've done enough!

l goofed on the phone then.

l'm really sorry,
l truly want to help you.

Just help me get to bed.

lf you feel low, call me.
l'll be back in a second!

No!

Know what l lacked most
when mine left?

A friend to hold my hand.

Good-bye.

Miss Hissister! This is for you.

We spoke on the phone.

Aries, with Gemini rising.

l called the doctor and got you.
Later l realized: you're his girlfriend.

Girlfriend?

Sorry l garbled it all.
lt's very simple:

his wife left him,
but he doesn't care. He's asleep

and can't be disturbed.

Got that?

Perfectly.

l'll have a word with him!

Marlene!

May l call you Marlene?

Feel free.

l haven't known him long,
but l understand him: so take my advice.

l'm listening.

Give it time: his wife has left him,
but don't rush in.

Be the sensuous,
amusing mistress you are,

all garter belts and champagne...

Keep on seeing him
3 to 4 times a week,

wait for your turn.
He'll fall when it's due.

He said he saw me
3 to 4 times a week?

l felt he'd see you
every day if he could.

So don't insist.
Go home, it's your best move.

You're right, l won't wake him.

Good girl!
l'll make a prediction:

he'll soon knock at your door
with flowers.

Was he taking you to a dinner?

Yes. Did he mention me?

l'd have known you, anyway.

Nice work!

l saw the light on,
figured you weren't asleep.

- You still here?
- Thank your stars l am!

- Why?
- We had a visitor.

- Who?
- The nutcase.

Marlene?

She just left.
Wanted to force your door.

You're lucky a guy called Pignon
told her: "Keep out!"

You got rid of Marlene?

l don't want to brag,
but l was pretty cool.

Sweet but firm. Got rid of her fast.
You won't see her again!

That's good news.

A pity, because she's a real looker.

What does she do?

She's a writer.

Another one?
You sleep with all your authors?

None of your damn business.

Maybe not. But l say it isn't nice.

l never cheated on my wife.

And the Finance Ministry's
a bunny hutch!

Leave me alone now.

Never ends tonight!

Who is it?

lt's Mr Leblanc.

- You came...
- l felt bad leaving you all alone.

He wasn't alone.
Even cared for, right?

Yes, by Mr Pignon who is leaving!

l'm off.

- l'll leave my photos to soothe you.
- Nice of you, but keep them.

They're models
l make with matchsticks...

Here's one of my finest...

He's not here to talk matchsticks.

Sure, sorry.

Take your photos,
l'm in no mood for them.

- What are you up to now?
- Still writing.

But l'm published.

- Writing what...?
- Later.

l have bad news.
She called.

She was torn:
coming here or a silly move.

l tried to convince her, but...

A silly move?

Going to Meneaux's place.

Pascal Meneaux,

the ad man.
She'll be there now.

- No!
- Yes.

He's wooed her for weeks.
Tonight she...

Aren't you done?

l'm arranging them chronologically...

- Do that at home!
- OK!

Meneaux's the pits!

That's why she went.
She's mad at you...

That dime-store Romeo,
she's crazy!

Mine picked a real dummy!

Get out of here!

Good night, Mr Brochant.

- Where does he live?
- He has a love nest.

But as to the address...

Good night, Mr Leblanc.

lt's very secret. No one knows it.

Good night, Mr Brochant!

There must be a way to find it!

Meneaux had a tax audit!

Pascal Meneaux, the ad man:
l've seen his file at the Ministry.

My pal's on his case.
Meneaux has a love nest,

but it's no secret.
Not to us, anyway!

Good night, Mr Brochant!

Get him back in here!

Mr Brochant wants to talk to you.

Forgive me, Francois,
l was edgy before.

l admit l was very hurt.

l rid you of that nut, you don't
thank me. You spurn my photos...

- Sorry. A drink, Francois?
- No, thanks.

l'm just arranging them.
l won't bother you.

You're no bother.

He does amazing things with matches!

Really?

This was my first, 343 matches.

- Pretty rudimentary.
- But promising.

Wait for the next ones!

Could you get us that address?

l'd have to call Cheval.

l hate to now:
he's watching soccer on TV.

- An oil derrick.
- Superb. You saw it?

Yes.

Know what l called it?

Beau Derrick.
After the actress Bo Derek!

Beau Derrick, Bo Derek!

We had a good giggle at the office!

My wife is with a deadly sex-fiend!
Please call Cheval!

- Let's wait till half time.
- Why?

lf the game's dicey, he'll tell me
to buzz off. Wait for half time.

- When is that?
- Soon. We'd best watch the game.

- Got a TV?
- Not for soccer games!

- lt's Paris-Marseilles!
- Who cares!

Sorry. The TV's in the den.

"Go to it, Paris! Go to it!"

- He's a bit of an idiot!
- That's why l invited him.

- ls he the guy...?
- Yes! lt's awful!

No kidding!

- He's your dinner dolt?
- l've had it!

- lt's not funny!
- Sorry, but you with a bad back

and a broken heart, in his hands...

Stop it!

When she said she'd left you,
l didn't laugh.

But seeing you with that jerk...

Don't move.

Attaboy!

Pignon!

Coming!

Paris scored!
Half time's in a min...

- She's come home!
- Francois Pignon... Marlene.

Who did you toss out before?

Marlene.

This is Marlene.
Who did you toss out?

lf it's so funny, get out!

Sorry.

A blonde in a beige raincoat?

You said: "That nut will show up!"

A woman shows up.
l figure it's the nut!

Who does he mean?

l'll be back...

What did you say to her?

- To who?
- My wife!

Not a thing.

She comes home,
and you chase her away!

l thought she was the weirdo.

The nympho dumped her dogs
and came to make trouble.

Who does he mean?

Please go home!
l have a serious problem!

Pierre, listen to me.

Marlene, go away!

l cram 3 dogs in my car to come over,
and you throw me out?

Scram, before it gets nasty!

Leave, Marlene!

lt's the smart thing to do.

He tossed out my wife!

l'm really sorry.

He drove her straight
into Meneaux's arms!

OK, l goofed. But anybody
would have made that mistake.

Get out!

We need him. Call Cheval!

l can't stand him!

l'm really sorry.
l wanted to help you so badly.

lt's half time!
We must call Cheval!

l'll make it up to you!
Tell me to call Cheval!

Think of Christine!
We must save her!

- Tell me to call Cheval!
- Tell him!

Call Cheval.

Thanks, Mr Brochant!

lt'll work out, you'll see!

Lucien, it's Francois!

How's the big Paris fan?

l'm no die-hard,
and the game's not over!

Not over? You asshoIe!
2 goaIs down and it's not over?

Paris is a team of clowns,
dickheads, fuck-offs!

Yeah? Who got slaughtered last week?

"Up Marseilles' ass,
ream it with class!"

Go fuck yourseIf!

You, too!

What an asshole!

"Marseilles are turds,
for the birds!"

He's a jerk!

l'll call him back.

- He's in a class by himself.
- lt's been like this for hours.

l'm calling him.
We feud, but we love each other.

l'm calling because l need a favor.

- OK, on one condition.
- What?

Shout: "Go Marseilles, go!"

Let me hear you shout:
" Go, MarseiIIes, go!"

You must!

"Go, Marseilles, go!"

l'm doing this for you, Pierre.

You must need a big favor.

- lt's important.
- Go on.

You're on the Pascal Meneaux case,
the ad man?

Affirmative.

He has a love nest in Paris
and l need the address.

You're not his type!

What?

He likes big boobs
and hates hairy legs!

He's a live wire!

lt's serious, l need that address.

Why do you need it?

lt's for a friend
who thinks his wife is there.

At Meneaux's?
His wife's there? Poor bastard!

- See why l need the address?
- You bet!

l've watched Meneaux!

Any skirt drives him dingo!

Talk about a pig!

That's enough!

Do l know this poor sap?

l doubt it...
Ever had a tax audit?

No.

- No. What's the address?
- I can't teII you now.

- It's at the office. Tomorrow!
- That's too late!

lt's urgent, it's a personal favor.

Hop over to the Ministry. Now!

Now? What about the game?

Tape it. We'll watch it together.

l'm taping the ice-skating for my wife!

We'll tape the game!
Go there for me!

You're a pain!
I haven't eaten!

- We'll feed him.
- You're invited here.

l don't know your sap!

He's a great guy.
Hop over to the Ministry for me.

You're a drag!

l said: "Go, Marseilles, go!".
l did!

What's the address?

9 University St, 5th floor, left.

- Be right over.
- See ya.

We've won, Mr Sap!...
l mean, Mr Brochant.

Wasn't easy, but we won!

- You OK?
- Much better. The pills worked.

We've got to tape
the game for that cluck.

Cheval's no cluck,
he's our best inspector.

Let him loose in this apartment,
he'll strip it!

lt's dumb to let
a tax inspector into your home!

You said l'm your friend!

- He won't go to work on me!
- Cheval would audit his mother!

ls that a copy?

lf you're clean,
if your artworks

were declared,
you'll be fine.

What'll we feed him?

Frozen stuff or eggs.

l'll make him a nice omelet!

- Give me a hand.
- Watch your back.

- Where do we put it?
- lt all goes in my room.

Stop laughing!

He drives your wife into adultery
and you into a tax audit! What a feat!

- What's that wine?
- Lafitte Rothschild '78.

- Don't serve him that! He'll spot it!
- lt's all l have.

- No table wine?
- Not a drop!

l've worked like a dog
to avoid cheap wines.

l only have great wines!
Or water!

- Does Cheval know about wine?
- You bet he does!

You opened a fine bottle.
He'll like that!

Hear that?
We've got a problem!

l'll solve it.
You wait!

lt has aroma.

l'm putting vinegar in my Lafitte.

How to turn great wine into rotgut!

There! Wino's delight!

- Taste it!
- You taste it!

No, thanks.

Weird... lt has more body.

- Damn!
- Hasn't wrecked it...

- l'd say it was better.
- Definitely.

Let me try.

Right... That's good to know!

That should do it!

- No!
- Yes!

- The john?
- Over there.

Perfect!

Cheval.

5th floor, left.

- You OK?
- Yes.

- Here he is!
- l'll get it.

You're giving him that to drink?

Lucien Cheval...
Pierre Brochant, Just Leblanc.

Mr Cheval, thank you for...

- Don't tell me!
- What?

The soccer score.

OK. But Paris evened the score...

- They did?
- No, l was putting you on!

What an asshole!

He's a royal one, isn't he?

The look on his face
when l said Paris got even!

He's so happy now!
Made his evening!

We're in a hurry.
Got the address?

- He's the man l told you about...
- Yes, the...

- Right...
- The address is in here.

l'm starving.

l'm all set with a fines herbes omelet.
You'll love it!

Am l the only one eating?

We've all eaten...
So where's this love nest?

l audited a Michel Brochant
3 years ago. Are you related?

Could be.
Where does he live?

ln prison.
He got 5 years.

Nice guy.

Had a fancy place like yours,
that we auctioned off!

Where's this love nest?

lt'll be buried
in all of Meneaux's holdings!

Advertising is lucrative!

What's your racket, Mr Brochant?

Publishing.

Very profitable, too!

Please, the address.

St. James St, that's his home address...

- Where is that love nest?
- Here's your omelet!

Thanks, Francois.

An honest table wine.
A bit coarse,

but l get it for a song.

Let's taste this omelet.

A masterpiece, Francois!

He's so silly... Thanks, Lucien.

Light, unctuous...

My secret's a few drops of beer
in the eggs.

The address, dammit!

Lincoln St, that's his office...

Temple St,

that's not it either...

You been attached?

No, why?

Those light patches.
Paintings have been removed.

He doesn't miss a trick!
You're fabulous, Lucien!

You came to help or audit?

He came to help! Right?

Hurry! Poor Mr Brochant is in a fix!

Poor Mr Brochant...

Meneaux's an operator, sure.

We say: "The rooster's loose,
lock up your hens!"

Here we are: Barr�s St.
Near the park.

37A Barr�s St.

- ln Neuilly.
- Great!

- l'm off.
- Wait, make sure she's there!

Don't go till you're sure of it.

He won't open the door.
He's wary!

- l'll smash it.
- Easier said than done.

You break in, and she's not there?

- Then what?
- What if we phone?

To ask if my wife's in his bed,
under his quilt?

Under his quilt!

You through?

You had a knickknack there!

l see the dust ring.

l told you, he's a real pro.

Bravo, Lucien!

You'll make me blush.

Don't be modest!
You bust tax dodgers!

We've got the address.
Kick 'em out!

Stop it, please!

l've got an idea. Listen to this.

We scare Meneaux
to make him come clean.

How?

You say you know your wife's there.
You're coming

to wreck his place with 3 tough pals.

Not bad.

lf she's there, he'll oust her.
We'll know at once.

A fine strategy!

Who phones?
Not me, he knows my voice!

He knows mine, too.

And mine.
l'm there all day.

l think l'm going to be needed!

- Oh, no!
- Only he can do it!

l really feel up to it!

We'll coach him, he'll do fine.

You wait and see!

lf you don't want me, just say so!

Who told us to call him?

lt must be someone who'd have
the number of his love nest.

Say, J.P.Roussin, his partner.
They're very close.

Roussin it is.

Why isn't he calling himself?

Why isn't Roussin calling?
lt'll seem odd.

He can't, he's on a plane,

headed for L.A.
Meneaux told me that.

lt fits!

We're calling for Roussin
who's on a plane.

Perfect!

- Got the strategy?
- lt's simple.

He has to rehearse! A lot!
One hell of a lot!

Sit down. Say after me:

"l'm calling for J.P. Roussin. He's
on a plane, but has a message for you."

- OK.
- No, repeat it.

l'm Meneaux, repeat what l said.

l've got it!

Please repeat precisely: "Hello..."

"Hello, l'm calling for J.P. Roussin..."

Good.

"He's on a plane,
and has a message for you."

Perfect!

You add:
"Brochant knows everything."

- OK.
- No, repeat it!

Come on, he's no idiot!

"Brochant knows everything."

Then you say:
"He knows about his wife."

lf Meneaux asks who's speaking,

you say:"A friend of Roussin's.
Brochant's coming with 3 pals."

"He's with 3 of his toughest pals."

He's talented!

- l'm just parroting.
- He's excellent!

Couldn't l improvise a bit?

No!

Don't shout! You scared me!

Just stick to what l told you!

Let's go, we're wasting time!

What's the number?

01 47 47 39 63.

We're off!

l'm scared.

- The strategy's fine.
- l'm worried about the executor.

- lt's ringing!
- Loudspeaker!

Have they done it yet?

- Why doesn't he answer?
- He's too busy!

- Pascal Meneaux?
- Yes.

He sounds tired. That's bad.

A bad sign.

Sorry to bother you...

l'm calling on behalf of J.P. Roussin.

Yes?

He's on a plane,
but he has a message for you.

Go ahead.

- Brochant knows all about it.
- What?

He's coming to wreck your place!

Nice going.

Who is this?

A friend of Roussin's:
Brochant's coming over, and not alone.

He's with 3 of his toughest pals.

He's crazy!
His wife's not here!

You're not with her?

She canceIed out.

Roussin said:

"He's with Mrs. Brochant."

Not at aII.

l'm with the wife of the tax man
who's auditing me!

What?

Ajerk who's hounded me for months.

I'm screwing his wife.
Not Mrs. Brochant!

May l use your phone?

Of course.

She went shopping this afternoon,

l asked her to take a form
to Meneaux's office. And bingo!

Good evening, Mr Meneaux.

Could l speak to Mrs Cheval please...

You know who l am.
We meet tomorrow at 9AM, as usual.

We'll review your whole case.

Now let me speak to my wife.

Charlotte? Don't try to explain.

Leave that place at once!

Yes, put your clothes back on!

Of course you do!

l'm not alone, l can't talk now,
we'll talk at home.

Charlotte! l did tape
the ice-skating for you.

That wine...

lt is a bit coarse.

- l'm going to puke! The bathroom!
- Come, Lucien!

First door on the left!

l said left.

lnteresting room!

A storage room, for valueless items.

- l don't care. lt's awful!
- What is?

He's a tax dodger, and l don't care!

Get hold of yourself.
Run home and shower. Hang in there.

- Want the tape of the soccer game?
- l'm in no mood for that.

- Good-bye, Mr Leblanc.
- Good-bye, Mr Cheval.

- Good-bye, Mr Brochant.
- Thanks for all your help.

Don't mention it.

We'll meet again soon: l'm going
to audit you. All this is suspect.

He recovered fast!

- Where can she be?
- l'll go home. lf she calls, l'll call.

Thanks.

Good-bye, Mr Pignon.

ls everyone leaving?

Yes, you can leave too.

Yes, it's me.

l'm her husband.
ls something wrong?

Which hospital?
l'm coming!

She had a car smash.
She's in West Side.

- Serious?
- Just concussion,

but they're keeping her overnight.

- l could drive you.
- No, thanks.

Pierre, it's me.

I know you're there.

You're not being nice.

You promised to Ieave your wife.
Look how you treat me now!

Answer me!
I need you, I'm not weII!

Pick up the phone!
If you don't, I'II do something siIIy!

His wife had an accident.
He's at the hospitaI.

An accident?

- lt's not serious, but...
- Serves him right!

Don't say that, Marlene.

Serves him right! He's mean!

His wife's in the hospital,
l'll kill myself.

Don't kill yourself.
Try to understand, it's been hell...

He's a bastard!

Shit, my glass!...
Poor carpet...

Why did l fall for a bastard?

Sorry, l have to hang up.

Don't hang up!

Talk to me some more,
it's such a help.

Hang up!

- She's suicidal.
- Blackmail, hang up!

Where are my keys?

Don't do anything silly!
Swear you won't!

Please be sensible.

You're nice...
But he's a bastard!

One hell of a bastard!

Don't say that.

He's so mean!

Even his way of having fun!

l have to go now...

lf he hadn't hurt his back,
he'd be making fun of a guy.

How'd he be doing that?

Hang up!

Didn't he teII you?

Every week,
they hold a "dinner for idiots".

They invite an idiot
and make fun of him aII night!

Let's go!

Your briefcase.

Make it snappy.
l'm in a hurry.

What was tonight's dinner for?

For friends who admired your work!

- Let's go!
- Were there other guests?

Let's talk in the elevator.

What kind of guests?

Why these questions?

How do you pick your guests?

Get to the point.

Did you invite me
to a dinner for idiots?

lt's you, darling.
l was just leaving.

How are you?

What do you mean?

l love you,
you can't be there all alone!

l've learned a lot tonight,
l need you!

To hell with her!

She's not my girlfriend!

That cretin made it up!

l'm coming.
We'll talk it over, OK?

The cretin

is leaving.
But tell me:

did you invite me
to a dinner for idiots?

Look, in one evening

you avenged all the idiots
who attended our dinners for all times.

Good night, Mr Pignon.

She's right.

- You're mean.
- So l'm mean!

My wife says it,
everyone agrees: l'm mean.

Put it on my answering machine:
"Brochant is a meanie!"

Don't mix sedatives and alcohol.

Why not?
lt's the moral of this story:

Brochant the meanie

gets drunk alone in his big pad,

nice Pignon goes home saying:
"The bastard got punished!"

"Brochant's a meanie,
Pignon's a beanie!"

Now what?

Number of the West Side Hospital.

He's at it again!

Thanks.

You won't get her.
lt's a city hospital.

West Side Hospital.

Mrs Christine Brochant, please.
She was in a car accident.

No calls for patients after 6 PM.
CaII tomorrow.

There you go!

l must speak to Mrs Brochant.

This is Professor Sorbier.

Sorry, sir, pIease hoId on.

l'm in a rush, dear, hurry!

- Mrs Brochant for you, Professor.
- Thanks, dear.

Stop this farce.
She just hung up on me.

Prof. Sorbier for you.

Mrs Brochant?

Yes, doctor.

l'm not Professor Sorbier.

Who is this?

lt's your husband's idiot.

What?

We met briefly, my name's Pignon,

l'm your husband's idiot
for that dinner.

l'm listening.

l found out why l was invited.
l'm in a state of shock.

You were in a crash: so was l!

HeIIo?

Yes, l'm here.

l'm not calling
because l'm sorry for myself:

l'm sorry for him.

He may not be the meanest of men,

but he's the unhappiest.

l heard you tell him
not to visit you.

He was so lost, so miserable,

that l forgot l was the idiot
and called you.

Mrs Brochant?

My wife left me 2 years ago:
that day my life was shattered.

l survived by making my models,

but deep down l'm still a wreck.

l wish that to no one,
not even your husband.

He's beside you?

What?

feeding you the Iines
of this moving drama?

l swear it was my idea to call you.
He fed me nothing.

ls he beside you?

No, l'm in a phone booth.

He doesn't love me.
He loves no one.

Mrs Brochant,

for 2 hours l saw your husband
try to find you.

He even called Pascal Meneaux,
who was in the arms

of a woman who wasn't you!

He phoned Meneaux?

He did.

You can't imagine
what he did out of love for you.

He made up with his best friend,
dumped his girlfriend,

braved a tax inspector!

He tidied up his whole life,
in an exemplary way.

Now he's alone in his big apartment
mixing alcohol and pills.

l'm worried about him.

l know one can die of love,
Mrs Brochant.

l'll think it over.
Thanks for calling.

Don't mention it.

Good-bye.

She'll call back.

We're attending the next dinner:
you're taking me!

- l'll win first prize.
- l'm exhausted.

Being smart is very tiring.

l'll try it some time.

Promise me one thing.

Just ask.

Think twice
before you call anyone an idiot.

l promise. l swear it.

Here he is, Mrs Brochant!

l thought you were in a phone booth?

You idiot!

No, l'm back at his place.

l can explain!

- What an idiot!
- l'll call her back!

- l'll call her back, it'll be fine!
- What an idiot!