Original subtitles

Which way am I going to go?

Which way am I going to go?

Stuffed again.

Mordecai, it's for you.

Dude, pause it.

Pause it!

Okay! Okay! Geez.

Hello?

Hey, Mordecai. It's Margaret.

Which way am I going to go?

Which way am I going to go?

Eat on that, Mordecai.

Dude! Dude! Margaret just called.

What? Why?

She wants me to make her a website.

What about our game of "Hoop Jams 5000?"

Mordecai?

Mordecai! Come on, man.

You can't even do it right now anyway.

Muscle Man has the computer for the whole day.

What? He's not even here.

He's playing basketball.

Boom-skaka-laka!

Oh, well. You snooze, you lose.

I'm sure this will only take a second anyways.

What are you doing?

Did you not see the sign-up sheet?

You were outside playing basketball. I figured.

Oh! You figured!

You figured you'd use the computer on someone else's time slot?

Well, dude.

You wait your turn just like everybody else in this joint.

Now get lost. I got to watch my downloads.

Why does he have to be such a jerk?

Oh, forget this.

Did I not make myself clear?

What? You're not even using it!

I'm wating for an e-mail from this hotty I met online yesterday.

What? You met your mom online yesterday?

Why you got to take it there bro?

Oh, you fools definitely aren't getting the computer now.

Who you calling fool?

Dude, I need the computer to make a webpage for Margaret.

How about we play you a game of basketball for it?

You guys don't stand a chance.

Oh, yeah. Winner gets the computer for a week.

Oh, you're on.

All right, ladies.

Why don't you go first?

Check.

Mate.

Yeah, baby.

Go ahead.

You can't make it from there.

Oh! Oh! Brick!

Oh, snap.

Hey, Mordecai, you're looking a little confused.

Did you know that we only need one more point to win?

What?

Boom-shaka-laka! Computer rights for a week!

You know who else likes to score

so she can get computer rights for a week?

My mom!

Hey, Mordecai. Thanks for helping me with the website.

No problem.

Muscle Man, computer rights for a month.

I don't know, bro.

I think it's worth more to you than that.

Two months.

Deal.

Yes! Two months of computer rights.

Looks like Margaret will just have to go without her webpage, you loser.

This can't be happening! Basketball sucks!

What did you say about basketball?

Uh. Nothing.

Yeah. That's what I thought.

You know, you only think it sucks

because you don't know the fundamentals.

Save your breath, old man.

These jokers are a lost cause.

Not to me, they're not.

I'm the best basketball coach that ever lived.

I can train anybody.

Whatever, Grandpa.

If you want to waste your time,

that's your business.

I got three years of computer time I need to start using.

Come on, Fives.

Let's go check the weather report.

Don't worry, Mordecai and Rigby.

I'm going to teach you to play circles around that little pot-bellied leprechaun.

How does that sound?

That sounds awesome.

Man, I don't believe this.

Did you guys seriously have to be the worst basketball players of all time?

Dude, come on. We're trying our best.

Yeah. We just need a little more practice.

No! You just need to not play basketball,

but I can't have that pudgy green idiot talking trash about my coaching, so,

so I'm just going to give you the powers.

Ah! Sweet!

Now ice that green fool

so you can make that hot chick a webpage.

Sup now, losers?

You ready to get destroyed?

I don't know if I have the energy to see how bad that old man trained you.

If I'm going to get out of this seat,

you're going to have to make it worth my time.

Computer rights for life.

One game, winner takes all.

This is going to be too sweet.

Now that the stakes are serious,

we're going to play a real game of basketball.

First person to twenty-one wins.

Street rules!

Fine with me.

What? How did you?

Stay out my kitchen!

Denied!

What? Impossible!

No one could've trained them that crazy.

Take a dive, Fives. I've got a plan.

Oh, dudes! Fives is hurt.

Dude, get up.

Hey, bro. You just took out my teammate.

Now I get to choose anyone in the park

And I choose that guy.

Aw, what?

You can't do that.

Sorry, guys, but the rules are the rules.

He can't play you two-on-one.

That's right.

You better give me some of those powers, too.

Aw, yeah! It's on, ladies.

What? What now?

Which way am I going to go?

Which way am I going to go?

This is going to be so easy.

Yeah, for us.

In your face!

Actually, bro.

In yours!

Nineteen-seventeen, us.

Game point.

Aw, what? How are we losing?

Um. Maybe because you're ? and I hate you!

Oh, snap!

How does it feel to know that

you're going to have to use the Internet at your mom's for the rest of your life?

Joke all you want, Rigby,

but the next basket wins the game

and you guys are going down.

Come on. D up, Mordecai.

You better listen to your friend, Mordecai,

because this is about to get serious up in here.

Let go of it!

Hold on!

I'm open! I'm open!

Oh, no!

Do it!

Aw. Dude, we did it. We won!

Yeah!

Oh, no, bro.

Yeah! We get the computer for life!

Hey, guys, good game.

Thanks, man.

Yeah, thanks, dude.

Man, I could've kept Fives in there and

he still would've played better "D" than you.

Come on, man. That was a good game.

Whatever. I'm out of here.

I hope he doesn't give up on basketball because of this.

That guy could really stand to lose some weight.

Mordecai! Hey, Mordecai!

Mordecai!

Hey! How are you?

Good. Good.

Hey, you looked pretty hot out there.

Yeah. I guess I am pretty hot.

Hot on the trail of finishing your website.

Oh, the website?

That was two months ago,

but it's okay. Eileen finished it for me.

Got to run.

Time speeds up in space, bro,

but hey. Look on the bright side.

At least she said you're hot.