Original subtitles

[Mordecai] All right! Just a few more boxes to go.

Oh, wonderful!

I can't thank you enough for helping me clean out my room.

It's just so hard to know what to keep and what to throw away.

Yeah, but don't worry, Pops. We'll be honest with you.

If it's cool, keep it.

And if it's lame, throw it away.

Ah, yeah! Last box!

What's it gonna be?

-Uh... -Ew.

[laughing]

Oh, look who it is.

Mordecai and Rigby, this is my old childhood friend Percy.

Pretty cool, eh?

Oh, dude...

No, not cool, Pops.

Oh, but, no, he is cool.

He was the most sophisticated doll of his day,

with more than 250 phrases stored inside.

Why, you never know what he's going to say next.

[Percy] I'm gonna draw on your face.

[laughing]

That's really creepy, Pops.

Creepy?

What are you talking about?

Percy is not at all creepy.

[Percy] Seriously, I'm gonna draw on your face.

[laughing]

♪ La-la-la la-la la-la ♪

Pops, Pops, look.

You got to get rid of that thing.

What? Are you sure?

Pops, you're a grown man.

It's just not cool to play with dolls.

Oh, out with the old and in with the new, eh?

[laughing]

[all laughing]

[hinges creaking]

Hey, Pops. We just found a hornets' nest.

Want to go huck rocks at it?

-[both] Aah! -Aw, Pops, what happened?

Percy and I were just having a playdate.

Why did you draw all over your face?

I didn't. Percy did it.

Isn't he a riot?

Pops, we told you it wasn't cool to play with dolls.

Weren't you gonna throw him away?

Oh, yes, I tried, but It didn't work.

Look, we'll do it for you.

[Rigby] Yeah, trust us.

This is for your own good, Pops.

Oh, okay.

[Mordecai] Don't worry, Pops. We'll take good care of him.

[clattering in distance]

-Dude, what was that? -I don't know.

Probably Pops bummed out that we threw his doll away or something.

[clattering continues]

We better go check on him.

Pops? Huh?

Dude, it's locked.

-[indistinct talking] -Who's Pops talking to?

What the...

Here, Percy, have some tea.

Have some tea?

What's wrong with you?

I don't want your tea.

I want to draw on your face!

-Uh... -Dude, we got to help Pops.

Stop!

[grunts]

Mordecai! Get this psycho off me!

Get off him!

You're all gonna get drawn on!

Pops, are you all right?

Yes, I'm fine.

Dude, what are we gonna do about that thing?

We have to stop him.

[suspenseful music plays]

[Percy] Draw... draw...

-[clank!] -Did you hear that?

-[conk! pop!] -Mordecai!

[conk!]

Pops, bring me the marker so I can draw on their faces.

-No. -What?

Bring me the marker!

I said no!

It's not cool for a grown man to have dolls.

You have to go away now, Percy.

Give me that marker!

No!

[up-tempo music plays]

[whack!]

Nooooooo!

-[sizzle!] -Nooooooo!

Mordecai, Rigby, are you all right?

[both] Uh, yeah.

Oh, thank goodness.

[roars]

[all scream]

[growls]

[grunts]

[groaning]

[thunk!]

See, Pops, we told you dolls aren't cool.

The end.

Uh, I guess that was kind of scary.

Yes, because of the doll's unnatural desire to mark on things.

Uh, lame!

I thought you guys said these stories were gonna be scary.

Thanks for wasting our time.

Come on, fives, let's bail.

So, seriously, can we stop inviting them to stuff?

[thunder crashes]

[eerie music plays]

Uhh! Stupid fog!

It's making it so I don't know Where I am. Uhh!

[thud!]

What is this even doing here?

-[explosion] -Oh, no! Our trailer!

Hey, that's not our trailer.

It's just a big pile of car barf.

[gasps] Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Crash pit?

Crash pit!

[rock music plays]

[engine revving]

Yeah! yeah!

Do it!

Uhh!

[grunting]

Step on it!

[crowd, chanting] Crash pit! Crash pit! Crash pit! Crash pit!

[tires screech]

[explosion]

[both] Crash pit! Crash pit! Crash pit! Crash pit!

[laughing]

That was so awesome!

Oh, man, we got to launch this piece into the crash pit.

It would be unpatriotic not to.

Aw, what? It won't open.

[grunting] Oh!

[whoosh!]

What was that?

Probably just the wind.

Come on! Let's drive this baby into the crash pit!

Ah, yeah every time.

[engine turns over]

-Yeah! -Savage! Savage!

Savage! Savage! Savage! Savage!

Savage! Savage!

Yo, Scottie, get everyone together.

We just found an RV, and it's going into the crash pit.

Yeah, man, I'll go find some people.

Let's do this, Fives!

[tires squeal]

Huh?

[radio tuning]

Uh, what?

Huh?

Fives!

-Muscle Man! -I got you, bro!

Uh, what?

I can't move!

Raaaaght!

-Bllaaagh! -Aahh!

Aaaaagh!

Uh, what's going on?

Who are you guys?

We're Skull Punch,

and you're the pudgy green geezer that's trying to steal our caravan.

No, we're not stealing it.

We were just gonna drive it into the crash pit.

Oh, so, you want to drive our band's final resting place

Into the crash pit, eh?

Well, how about we give you a hand?

-[tires squeal] -[evil laughter]

[groans]

[grunts] You know who else likes to get head-butted in the face?

-What? -My mom!

Fives!

-[whack!] -[shrieks]

Hello again.

Look, I'm sorry we took your RV!

If you let us go, we'll never bother you again, I swear!

It's too late! You wanted the RV to go into the crash pit.

Looks like you two just got yourselves some front-row seats!

[shrieks]

Wait! Please!

You can't do it yet!

-Why not? -Because we always play a show first,

and if we don't, everybody's gonna think we're lame!

[tires screech]

-[thud!] -Well, we wouldn't want them

-to think we were lame, now, would we? -[crowd cheering]

[feedback]

One, two, three.

♪ Have you ever seen a cat ♪

♪ Walkin' down the street? ♪

♪ And you said, hey! ♪

♪ That's a cat, not a rat Or a bat or a hat or a pat Or a fat or a mat ♪

♪ Have you ever seen a goat? ♪

Yeah, I've seen a goat.

I want to see you guys crash Your RV into the...

♪ Devastation ♪

♪ Nation ♪

[crowd booing]

Oh, man, what are you doing?

Help!

This music sucks!

[shrieking]

[booing continues]

[whap!]

[shrieking]

♪ You're a goat, not a boat Or a coat or a float or a note Or a tote or an oat ♪

[shrieking]

It won't open!

♪ Devastation ♪

♪ Nation ♪

[grunting]

♪ Devastation nation ♪

[whistling, acoustic guitar plays]

-[thud!] -[groaning]

[explosion]

[insects chirping]

Finally!

I never thought it was gonna end.

Hey, wait.

Aw, man, am I dead?

-Yeah. -Aw.

Best crash pit ever!

Huh!

The end!

And that's how you tell a story, babies! [laughing]

Dude, that wasn't any better than the doll story.

Oh, you think you could do better?

You think you could do better?

Is that it? Is that it?

-Is that what you think? -Dude get off of me!

[laughing]

And that's how you get up in somebody's face!