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1
00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:04,433
I HAVE THIS THING
HANGING OFF OF ME.
2
00:00:04,433 --> 00:00:05,933
IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.
3
00:00:05,933 --> 00:00:08,867
[ Crying ] I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY I LET MYSELF GET THIS WAY.
4
00:00:08,867 --> 00:00:11,000
**
5
00:00:15,067 --> 00:00:16,967
Man: [ MOANING ]
6
00:00:16,967 --> 00:00:20,167
MY WEIGHT HAS GIVEN ME
A DEATH SENTENCE.
7
00:00:20,167 --> 00:00:22,800
Nikki: THE THING
I RELIED ON ALL THESE YEARS
8
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:24,967
IS WHAT'S KILLING ME.
9
00:00:31,967 --> 00:00:33,667
IT'S BROKEN!
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?
10
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,800
I DON'T KNOW.
I CAN'T GET OFF.
11
00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:37,733
DON'T LET ME GO, PLEASE.
I'M NOT.
12
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,600
Chad: IT'S HARD TO BE A FATHER
FROM A CHAIR.
13
00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:45,633
[ GRUNTS ]
THANK YOU, HONEY.
14
00:00:45,633 --> 00:00:48,933
I SEE
THAT UNWILLINGNESS.
15
00:00:48,933 --> 00:00:52,267
IF YOU WERE SERIOUS,
YOU'D MAKE CHANGES.
16
00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:59,767
Dr. Nowzaradan: I'M TAKING
ASHLEY TO EMERGENCY SURGERY.
17
00:00:59,767 --> 00:01:03,700
THIS NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED NOW,
OR ASHLEY WON'T SURVIVE.
18
00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:06,700
-- Captions by VITAC --
www.vitac.com
19
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:09,700
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY
DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS
20
00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:12,667
**
21
00:01:12,667 --> 00:01:15,567
Ashley: THE HARDEST PRISONS
TO BREAK OUT OF
22
00:01:15,567 --> 00:01:18,833
ARE THE ONES THAT WE BUILD
OURSELVES.
23
00:01:26,633 --> 00:01:28,067
[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
24
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:35,833
THERE IS NOT A DAY THAT GOES BY
THAT I DON'T HAVE PAIN.
25
00:01:38,733 --> 00:01:41,100
JUST ABOUT ANY MOVEMENT HURTS.
26
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:45,400
AND JUST WALKING THE 20 FEET
FROM MY BED TO MY BATHROOM
27
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,900
IS EXTREMELY PAINFUL.
28
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:53,233
[ Voice breaking ]
MY WEIGHT HAS MADE IT
29
00:01:53,233 --> 00:01:55,067
ALMOST UNBEARABLE TO GET AROUND.
30
00:01:55,067 --> 00:01:58,667
THE NORMAL THINGS
THAT EVERYBODY DOES
31
00:01:58,667 --> 00:02:01,167
IS SO HARD TO DO
WHEN YOU'RE MY SIZE.
32
00:02:03,967 --> 00:02:07,733
AND I'M TERRIFIED TO GET IN
MY OWN BATHTUB...
33
00:02:07,733 --> 00:02:11,600
BECAUSE I ALMOST FEEL LIKE I'M
GONNA FALL THROUGH THE FLOOR.
34
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,800
[ WATER RUNNING ]
35
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:18,700
I'M GOOD TO STAND
FOR MAYBE FIVE MINUTES.
36
00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:22,100
SO IT'S A STRUGGLE
FOR ME TO BATHE.
37
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:25,367
PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH
IT ACTUALLY TAKES
38
00:02:25,367 --> 00:02:28,100
JUST TO DO ANYTHING.
39
00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:31,733
I HAVE THIS...THING
HANGING OFF OF ME.
40
00:02:31,733 --> 00:02:34,067
IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.
41
00:02:37,333 --> 00:02:40,700
MY STOMACH HANGS SO HEAVY
ON MY BACK,
42
00:02:40,700 --> 00:02:43,067
SOMETIMES WHEN I'M STANDING,
43
00:02:43,067 --> 00:02:46,367
I'M SCARED OF PHYSICALLY
BREAKING MY OWN BACK.
44
00:02:49,767 --> 00:02:52,533
AND IT'S GOTTEN SO BAD NOW
45
00:02:52,533 --> 00:02:57,300
THAT I'M AFRAID THAT I'LL BE
COMPLETELY IMMOBILE SOON.
46
00:02:57,300 --> 00:03:01,633
AND I'M GONNA HAVE TO HAVE
SOMEBODY TAKE CARE OF ME.
47
00:03:01,633 --> 00:03:04,500
AND I DON'T WANT
THAT EMBARRASSMENT.
48
00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:07,300
I COULD STILL TAKE CARE
OF MY BODY,
49
00:03:07,300 --> 00:03:10,600
WASHING AND BATHING, RIGHT NOW,
50
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:14,400
BUT I NEED HELP WITH JUST
ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE.
51
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:19,900
AND MOST OF THAT FALLS ON
MY 5-YEAR-OLD SON, PATRICK.
52
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,867
MY SON HELPS ME WITH EVERYTHING.
53
00:03:21,867 --> 00:03:26,133
[ SIGHS ]
54
00:03:26,133 --> 00:03:30,133
HE'S MY LEGS
AND A LOT OF THINGS.
55
00:03:30,133 --> 00:03:33,533
BASICALLY, EVERYTHING
THAT INVOLVES STANDING
56
00:03:33,533 --> 00:03:37,067
AND WALKING AROUND A LOT,
PATRICK DOES FOR ME.
57
00:03:37,067 --> 00:03:38,700
GO GET THE BLUE BUCKET
FOR MAMA.
58
00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:40,667
WE'RE GONNA DO SOME LAUNDRY
REAL QUICK.
59
00:03:40,667 --> 00:03:44,133
HE HAS TO HELP ME WITH JUST
ABOUT EVERY HOUSEHOLD CHORE.
60
00:03:48,300 --> 00:03:52,433
WITHOUT HIM, I'D BE LOST,
61
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,467
BECAUSE I JUST CAN'T DO IT
ON MY OWN.
62
00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:56,567
[ GRUNTS ]
63
00:03:56,567 --> 00:03:57,900
Patrick:
IT'S HARD FOR HER TO WALK,
64
00:03:57,900 --> 00:04:01,633
SO I DO THE STUFF THAT SHE WANTS
ME TO DO EVERY DAY.
65
00:04:03,733 --> 00:04:06,200
WOULD YOU PUT THEM IN THE DRYER,
PRETTY PLEASE?
66
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,600
MM-HMM.
67
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:12,600
PATRICK IS TOO YOUNG TO BE DOING
THE STUFF THAT HE DOES.
68
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,067
I SHOULD DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM.
69
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,467
PAT...
70
00:04:23,367 --> 00:04:27,067
IT MAKES ME FEEL GUILTY,
BECAUSE HE'S 5.
71
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:29,900
HE SHOULD BE PLAYING WITH TOYS
AND WATCHING TV.
72
00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:31,667
I SHOULD BE TAKING CARE OF HIM.
73
00:04:31,667 --> 00:04:34,433
3-0-0.
74
00:04:34,433 --> 00:04:35,967
"START"
75
00:04:35,967 --> 00:04:39,267
BUT HE HAS TO HELP ME,
76
00:04:39,267 --> 00:04:41,600
BECAUSE MY HUSBAND
IS A TRUCK DRIVER
77
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:46,733
AND HE'S GONE PROBABLY
70 TO 100 HOURS A WEEK.
78
00:04:46,733 --> 00:04:49,767
GET YOUR BREAKFAST.
79
00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:53,733
SO OUR FOOD IS MOSTLY
WHAT PAT CAN MICROWAVE
80
00:04:53,733 --> 00:04:57,067
OR CARRY IN HERE
FOR ME TO PREPARE.
81
00:04:57,067 --> 00:05:00,367
AND IT SCARES ME
THAT HE'S LEARNING
82
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:03,433
A LOT OF HIS EATING HABITS
FROM ME.
83
00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:07,800
I JUST WANT TO BE A GOOD MOM
AND TAKE CARE OF HIM,
84
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:13,067
BECAUSE I NEVER HAD THAT AND
I KNOW HOW PAINFUL THAT IS.
85
00:05:13,067 --> 00:05:14,533
[ SNIFFLES ]
86
00:05:14,533 --> 00:05:17,800
[ Crying ] I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY I LET MYSELF GET THIS WAY.
87
00:05:20,233 --> 00:05:23,300
MY EARLY CHILDHOOD
WAS VERY UNSTABLE
88
00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:27,767
BECAUSE MY PARENTS GOT A DIVORCE
WHEN I WAS 5 YEARS OLD.
89
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:34,067
AFTER THE DIVORCE, MY MOM TOOK
MY SIBLINGS AND I WITH HER,
90
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:38,367
BUT SHE WAS NEVER AROUND
BECAUSE OF HER DRUG ADDICTION.
91
00:05:40,167 --> 00:05:44,700
SO WE SPENT A LOT OF TIME
AT THE BABYSITTER'S.
92
00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:46,533
AND WHEN I WAS 6,
93
00:05:46,533 --> 00:05:49,600
MY BABYSITTER'S HUSBAND
STARTED MOLESTING ME.
94
00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:53,433
IF MY MOTHER HAD BEEN
PAYING ATTENTION,
95
00:05:53,433 --> 00:05:56,267
I THINK SHE COULD HAVE CHANGED
A LOT OF STUFF
96
00:05:56,267 --> 00:05:57,767
THAT WAS GOING ON.
97
00:06:00,667 --> 00:06:02,433
BUT AS THE OLDEST ONE,
98
00:06:02,433 --> 00:06:05,833
I FELT LIKE I HAD TO PROTECT
MY BROTHER AND SISTER,
99
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:08,700
'CAUSE THEY WERE REALLY LITTLE.
100
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:13,900
SO I LET IT HAPPEN TO ME
SO IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO THEM.
101
00:06:15,933 --> 00:06:19,467
AND I FELT LIKE I HAD NO ONE
TO PROTECT ME,
102
00:06:19,467 --> 00:06:23,467
SO I STARTED TO TURN TO FOOD
TO DEAL WITH IT ALL.
103
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:29,400
MY MOM ESSENTIALLY CHOSE DRUGS
AND THAT LIFESTYLE
104
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:32,367
OVER WATCHING HER KIDS GROW UP.
105
00:06:32,367 --> 00:06:36,233
SO I DEVELOPED MY OWN ADDICTION.
106
00:06:36,233 --> 00:06:38,633
MINE WAS JUST WITH FOOD.
107
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:43,433
BUT THINGS DID GET BETTER
WHEN I WAS 8 YEARS OLD,
108
00:06:43,433 --> 00:06:47,767
BECAUSE MY MOM DROPPED ME
AND MY SIBLINGS OFF AT MY DAD'S
109
00:06:47,767 --> 00:06:51,567
AND SHE WAS OUT OF
MY LIFE FOR 13 YEARS.
110
00:06:51,567 --> 00:06:57,700
FROM THEN ON, MY DAD RAISED ME,
AND I FELT SAFER WITH HIM.
111
00:06:57,700 --> 00:07:00,267
[ Voice breaking ] BUT I STILL
DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.
112
00:07:00,267 --> 00:07:03,567
HOW COULD A MOM
JUST THROW AWAY HER KIDS?
113
00:07:04,767 --> 00:07:09,200
AND FOOD WAS STILL THERE TO HELP
ME DEAL WITH THAT PAIN,
114
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:10,700
SO I KEPT EATING.
115
00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:16,967
ASHLEY'S EATING HABITS
WERE A LOT LIKE NORMAL HABITS.
116
00:07:16,967 --> 00:07:20,700
BUT SHE WOULD EAT
ENORMOUS AMOUNTS OF FOOD,
117
00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:23,367
AND SHE JUST GOT LARGER
AND LARGER.
118
00:07:23,367 --> 00:07:25,433
Ashley:
I WOULD SNEAK A LOT OF FOOD.
119
00:07:25,433 --> 00:07:28,700
I REMEMBER GETTING UP OUT OF BED
AND GOING TO THE REFRIGERATOR
120
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:30,633
AND JUST EATING
DURING THE NIGHT.
121
00:07:30,633 --> 00:07:32,900
IT WAS JUST A CONSTANT
COMFORT FOR ME.
122
00:07:32,900 --> 00:07:36,367
AND BY THE TIME
I WAS IN SIXTH GRADE,
123
00:07:36,367 --> 00:07:39,067
I PROBABLY WEIGHED 250 POUNDS.
124
00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:42,633
Tommy:
I JUST KEPT BEING THE BEST
DAD I COULD BE TO ASHLEY.
125
00:07:42,633 --> 00:07:44,367
I WAS TRYING TO MAKE HER HAPPY.
126
00:07:44,367 --> 00:07:47,433
AND IF ONE MORE SLICE OF PIE
WOULD HAVE MADE HER HAPPY,
127
00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:49,733
I'D GIVE HER
ANOTHER SLICE OF PIE.
128
00:07:49,733 --> 00:07:52,767
Ashley: AND BY THE TIME
I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL,
129
00:07:52,767 --> 00:07:55,067
I WEIGHED 400 POUNDS.
130
00:07:57,500 --> 00:08:02,167
SINCE THEN, I'VE JUST KEPT
EATING AND GAINING WEIGHT.
131
00:08:02,167 --> 00:08:04,167
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
132
00:08:04,167 --> 00:08:05,800
LONG.
133
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,067
I LOVE YOU.
134
00:08:07,067 --> 00:08:08,500
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
135
00:08:14,067 --> 00:08:16,400
I MET MY HUSBAND, JAKE,
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
136
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,067
HE DIDN'T CARE THAT I WAS
AROUND 400 POUNDS,
137
00:08:19,067 --> 00:08:21,367
AND I FELT LIKE HE ACCEPTED ME.
138
00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:24,133
HE MADE ME FEEL GOOD
ABOUT MYSELF.
139
00:08:24,133 --> 00:08:27,400
I NEVER HAD ANYONE LIKE THAT.
140
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,800
Jacob: ASHLEY HAS ALWAYS BEEN
BEAUTIFUL TO ME.
141
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,900
SHE WAS ALWAYS SMILING, AND SHE
WAS A FUN PERSON TO BE AROUND.
142
00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:36,600
I LOVED WHO SHE WAS,
BUT OVER THE YEARS,
143
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,467
SHE JUST GOT SO BIG,
144
00:08:38,467 --> 00:08:42,067
AND SHE'S NOT THE SAME PERSON
THAT SHE ONCE WAS.
145
00:08:42,067 --> 00:08:45,133
SHE DON'T SMILE AS MUCH,
146
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:48,067
SHE'S MORE DEPRESSED
ABOUT HER WEIGHT.
147
00:08:48,067 --> 00:08:51,900
AND SHE EATS BECAUSE SHE FEELS
BAD, AND THEN IT JUST --
148
00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:53,167
IT'S NEVER-ENDING.
149
00:08:53,167 --> 00:08:54,667
JUST GETS WORSE AND WORSE.
150
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,567
Ashley: [ Voice breaking ]
WHEN YOU TURN TO FOOD
FOR EVERYTHING,
151
00:08:58,567 --> 00:09:02,800
IT'S A VERY HARD ADDICTION
TO BREAK.
152
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:06,067
I DON'T EAT THAT MANY TIMES
DURING THE DAY,
153
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:10,067
BUT WHEN I DO EAT, I EAT ENOUGH
FOR TWO OR THREE MEALS.
154
00:09:10,067 --> 00:09:14,867
MY PLATE ALONE COULD PROBABLY
FEED A FAMILY OF FOUR.
155
00:09:14,867 --> 00:09:18,233
BUT FOR THAT BIT OF TIME
WHILE I'M EATING,
156
00:09:18,233 --> 00:09:20,467
IT MAKES EVERYTHING
JUST DISAPPEAR.
157
00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:24,667
IT'S LIKE A CALM
THAT WASHES OVER ME.
158
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:29,933
IT'S MY COMFORT.
159
00:09:29,933 --> 00:09:32,767
TO ME, FOOD IS LIKE SEX.
160
00:09:32,767 --> 00:09:35,300
IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD.
161
00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:39,833
AND ONCE I START EATING,
IT'S VERY HARD TO STOP.
162
00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:44,967
AT MY SIZE RIGHT NOW,
163
00:09:44,967 --> 00:09:47,567
THIS IS THE BIGGEST
I'VE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE.
164
00:09:47,567 --> 00:09:49,867
AND I'M BASICALLY CONFINED
TO THE HOUSE.
165
00:09:49,867 --> 00:09:52,467
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
166
00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:55,300
I GO TO TOWN MAYBE ONCE A WEEK.
167
00:09:55,300 --> 00:10:00,000
AND THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE THAT'S
WHEN WE GO GET GROCERIES.
168
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,200
[ ENGINE STARTS ]
169
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,967
OH, MY BACK IS KILLING ME.
170
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:10,800
I USED TO ENJOY GOING OUT,
BUT NOW IT'S A HORRIBLE FEELING.
171
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,367
SURE YOU DON'T WANT
TO COME INSIDE?
172
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,533
ALL RIGHT.
173
00:10:15,533 --> 00:10:17,267
I HAVEN'T BEEN
IN A GROCERY STORE --
174
00:10:17,267 --> 00:10:19,433
OR ANY STORE, FOR THAT MATTER --
IN OVER A YEAR,
175
00:10:19,433 --> 00:10:22,200
BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND OR WALK
FOR TOO LONG
176
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,933
WITHOUT HAVING TO SIT DOWN,
177
00:10:23,933 --> 00:10:26,667
AND I HATE EVERYONE
STARING AT ME
178
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,067
LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF FREAK.
179
00:10:28,067 --> 00:10:29,200
COME ON.
180
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,567
SO I SIT IN THE TRUCK.
181
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:36,067
AND JAKE AND PATRICK GO IN
AND GET EVERYTHING.
182
00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:39,900
Jacob: BE A LOT BETTER
IF SHE COULD HELP
183
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:42,400
AND DO A LOT OF THE THINGS
THAT SHE USED TO DO.
184
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,300
BUT SHE DOESN'T LIKE
WHEN PEOPLE LOOK AT HER,
185
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:47,067
SO SHE CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE.
186
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,900
Ashley:
EVEN STAYING IN THE TRUCK,
187
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:57,533
PEOPLE STILL STARE
JUST BECAUSE OF MY SIZE.
188
00:10:57,533 --> 00:11:00,500
I WANT YOU TO KNOW,
I'M GONNA PRAY FOR YOU.
189
00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:02,700
YOU CAN MAKE IT.
190
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:04,467
GOD BLESS YOU.
191
00:11:09,633 --> 00:11:11,133
[ CRYING ]
192
00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:20,767
TO ME, IT'S THE SAME AS IF
A PERSON DOESN'T HAVE ANY LEGS.
193
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:22,167
YOU DON'T STARE AT SOMEBODY.
194
00:11:22,167 --> 00:11:23,733
I MEAN, YOU JUST DON'T DO THAT.
195
00:11:28,633 --> 00:11:32,800
IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M NOT
A PERSON, LIKE I'M AN OBJECT.
196
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,100
[ SOBS ]
197
00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:36,367
I'M NOT AN EXHIBIT.
198
00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:39,067
I'M A HUMAN BEING.
199
00:11:39,067 --> 00:11:40,167
[ SOBS ]
200
00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:56,667
I HATE PEOPLE
STARING AT ME.
201
00:11:56,667 --> 00:11:58,100
YEAH?
202
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,867
JACOB KNOWS, IF I'M UPSET,
203
00:12:03,867 --> 00:12:06,900
HE NEEDS TO GET ME SOMETHING
TO EAT QUICKLY.
204
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:09,467
IF I'M HURTING,
I WANT TO TURN TO SOMETHING
205
00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:11,567
THAT'S GONNA MAKE ME
FEEL BETTER.
206
00:12:11,567 --> 00:12:14,167
AND I KNOW IT'S FOOD.
207
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:17,700
LET ME GET THE, UH,
20 TENDERS -- THE MEAL --
208
00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:19,667
AND ROLLS
INSTEAD OF BISCUITS.
209
00:12:19,667 --> 00:12:20,933
THANK YOU.
210
00:12:20,933 --> 00:12:22,100
IT'S A COMFORT.
211
00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:25,167
IT'S BEEN A COMFORT EVER SINCE
I WAS YOUNG.
212
00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:27,600
LET ME SEE.
I DON'T KNOW. LOOK.
213
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:30,333
WHEN YOU'RE EATING, IT'S LIKE
NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.
214
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,533
FOOD DOESN'T JUDGE.
215
00:12:32,533 --> 00:12:37,900
IT'S THE ONLY THING
THAT COMFORTS ME.
216
00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:42,200
AND I NEED IT.
217
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:45,867
BUT I KNOW, AT THE SAME TIME,
IT'S GONNA KILL ME.
218
00:12:45,867 --> 00:12:47,933
I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY LIFE,
219
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:51,900
AND I DON'T WANT TO LOSE
THE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY.
220
00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:56,833
[ Voice breaking ] I'M THROWING
MY LIFE AWAY FOR FOOD.
221
00:12:56,833 --> 00:12:59,867
WHAT KIND OF PERSON
DOES THAT MAKE ME?
222
00:12:59,867 --> 00:13:02,533
WHY CAN'T I JUST PUT IT DOWN?
223
00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:06,400
Jacob:
I REALLY DO LOVE ASHLEY.
224
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:10,167
AND...IT HURTS ME
TO SEE HER HURT.
225
00:13:10,167 --> 00:13:11,633
I LOVE YOU, BABY.
226
00:13:11,633 --> 00:13:14,133
[ Voice breaking ] I CAN'T --
I CAN'T FIX HER.
227
00:13:14,133 --> 00:13:17,133
I CAN FIX A LOT OF STUFF,
BUT I CAN'T -- I CAN'T FIX HER.
228
00:13:17,133 --> 00:13:21,600
Ashley: [ Crying ]
I HAVE LET MYSELF DOWN.
229
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,233
I'M LETTING MY HUSBAND DOWN,
MY SON.
230
00:13:24,233 --> 00:13:26,533
I DON'T WANT HIM TO HAVE
A MOM LIKE ME.
231
00:13:26,533 --> 00:13:28,200
I WANT HIM TO HAVE A REAL MOM.
232
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:31,400
AND I WANT TO DO THE THINGS
THAT MY MOM DIDN'T DO WITH ME.
233
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:35,967
BUT I NEED HELP.
234
00:13:35,967 --> 00:13:38,167
I DON'T WANT MY HUSBAND
TO HAVE TO BURY ME.
235
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:43,267
AND IF I KEEP GOING,
THAT'S WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.
236
00:13:52,367 --> 00:13:54,367
**
237
00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,533
Ashley:
YOU READY, BABY?
238
00:13:59,533 --> 00:14:01,133
I'M READY WHEN Y'ALL ARE.
Y'ALL READY?
239
00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:02,167
YEAH.
240
00:14:09,867 --> 00:14:13,633
I'M NERVOUS TO GO
TO THE DOCTOR TODAY.
241
00:14:13,633 --> 00:14:18,367
OTHER DOCTORS HAVE REFUSED TO
HELP ME BECAUSE OF MY SIZE.
242
00:14:19,933 --> 00:14:23,733
I'M WORRIED THIS DOCTOR
IS GONNA SAY THE SAME THING.
243
00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:31,367
SO THIS HAS POTENTIAL
TO BE DEVASTATING
244
00:14:31,367 --> 00:14:34,567
OR ONE OF THE BEST THINGS
TO HAPPEN IN MY LIFE.
245
00:14:34,567 --> 00:14:36,467
ARE YOU EXCITED
FOR TODAY?
246
00:14:36,467 --> 00:14:38,133
YES AND NO.
247
00:14:38,133 --> 00:14:42,333
I HAVEN'T WEIGHED MYSELF
IN OVER A YEAR AND A HALF,
248
00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:45,100
SO I'M NERVOUS TO SEE THE NUMBER
ON THE SCALE
249
00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:47,800
AND I'M ANXIOUS TO SEE
WHAT HE'S GONNA SAY.
250
00:14:49,933 --> 00:14:52,667
WELL, WE MADE IT.
251
00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:55,200
I DO SEE THIS AS MY LAST CHANCE,
252
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:58,800
BECAUSE WITHOUT THIS DOCTOR
TAKING MY CASE,
253
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:03,067
I KNOW MY LIFE EXPECTANCY
IS NOT VERY LONG.
254
00:15:03,067 --> 00:15:06,100
I JUST HOPE
I DIDN'T WAIT TOO LONG.
255
00:15:08,067 --> 00:15:11,200
A LOT IS RIDING
ON MEETING THIS DOCTOR.
256
00:15:13,367 --> 00:15:16,567
Woman: 725.
257
00:15:22,267 --> 00:15:24,867
I DIDN'T EXPECT MY WEIGHT
TO BE THAT HIGH.
258
00:15:24,867 --> 00:15:27,967
[ Voice breaking ] I JUST CAN'T
BELIEVE I'VE GOTTEN THIS BIG.
259
00:15:32,767 --> 00:15:34,267
[ CRIES ]
260
00:15:39,967 --> 00:15:47,133
TO SEE 725 ON THE SCALE
WAS A SMACK IN THE FACE.
261
00:15:47,133 --> 00:15:51,833
I JUST HOPE THE DOCTOR
DOESN'T TURN ME AWAY.
262
00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:52,900
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
263
00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:54,867
HELLO.
264
00:15:54,867 --> 00:15:56,400
I'M DR. NOWZARADAN.
265
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:57,767
MY NAME IS ASHLEY.
266
00:15:57,767 --> 00:16:01,133
YOU ARE, WHAT, 27?
267
00:16:01,133 --> 00:16:02,567
YES, I'M 27 YEARS OLD.
268
00:16:02,567 --> 00:16:05,833
AND SO YOU ARE
725 POUNDS.
269
00:16:05,833 --> 00:16:09,633
TELL ME WHY YOU THINK YOUR
WEIGHT HAS GOTTEN THIS HIGH.
270
00:16:09,633 --> 00:16:13,233
I EAT TOO MUCH WHEN I SIT DOWN
AND ACTUALLY HAVE A MEAL.
271
00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:16,800
I EAT ENOUGH FOR PROBABLY THREE
OR FOUR REGULAR PEOPLE.
272
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,100
AND IT'S LIKE
I NEVER GET FULL.
273
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:21,800
AND A LOT OF TIMES,
I EAT FOR COMFORT.
274
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,800
WHO DOES
THE GROCERY SHOPPING?
275
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,233
Jacob: ME.
276
00:16:25,233 --> 00:16:27,833
I MEAN, WE MAKE A LIST,
AND MY HUSBAND GOES IN FOR ME.
277
00:16:27,833 --> 00:16:29,933
ALL RIGHT.
278
00:16:29,933 --> 00:16:33,067
Dr. Nowzaradan: ASHLEY HAS
CREATED AN ENVIRONMENT
279
00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:36,467
WHERE SHE CAN'T DEAL WITH LIFE
WITHOUT CONSTANTLY EATING.
280
00:16:36,467 --> 00:16:38,567
NOW THAT SHE IS OVER 700 POUNDS,
281
00:16:38,567 --> 00:16:41,200
SHE'S NOT VERY FUNCTIONAL
ON HER OWN,
282
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,067
AND SHE'S EATING CONSTANTLY,
283
00:16:43,067 --> 00:16:46,233
SO SOMEONE MUST BE
BRINGING HER ALL THE FOOD.
284
00:16:46,233 --> 00:16:49,133
HE'S YOUR ENABLER,
AND HE IS OVERWEIGHT,
285
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:53,200
SO HE'S NOT MAKING GOOD CHOICES
ON HIS OWN TO EVEN HELP YOU.
286
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,067
SO YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND
287
00:16:55,067 --> 00:16:57,933
THAT YOU ARE IN
A DANGEROUS SITUATION.
288
00:16:57,933 --> 00:17:00,533
AT YOUR WEIGHT,
EVERY PART OF YOUR BODY
289
00:17:00,533 --> 00:17:02,733
IS UNDER STRAIN
JUST TO FUNCTION.
290
00:17:02,733 --> 00:17:06,567
AND AT THIS POINT, YOU'RE NOT
GONNA MAKE IT MUCH BEYOND 30.
291
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,767
YOU BOTH HAVE
TO CHANGE THAT
292
00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:11,467
BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE
ANY TIME LEFT.
293
00:17:11,467 --> 00:17:14,733
HER HOME DYNAMIC
AND HER EATING HABITS
294
00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:17,633
ARE GOING TO BE
EXTREMELY HARD TO BREAK,
295
00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:20,867
BUT SHE NEEDS TO REALIZE
THAT SHE HAS NO CHOICE.
296
00:17:20,867 --> 00:17:22,333
SHE EITHER DOES THIS,
297
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:25,067
OR THIS MAY BE THE LAST TIME
I SEE HER.
298
00:17:25,067 --> 00:17:27,933
YOU NEED TO START A NEW DIET
I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU
299
00:17:27,933 --> 00:17:30,667
TO LOSE 50 POUNDS
OVER THE NEXT MONTH.
300
00:17:30,667 --> 00:17:34,300
YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND HOW
SERIOUS THIS IS RIGHT NOW.
301
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:35,900
YES, SIR.
ALL RIGHT.
302
00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:37,500
ANY QUESTIONS?
303
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:40,567
ALL RIGHT,
I'LL SEE YOU ALL LATER.
304
00:17:42,567 --> 00:17:44,367
I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE HARD,
305
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:47,367
BUT AT LEAST HE'LL ACCEPT ME
AS A PATIENT.
306
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,533
**
307
00:17:49,533 --> 00:17:51,067
HEARING DR. NOW TALK ABOUT
308
00:17:51,067 --> 00:17:53,633
EVERYTHING THAT MY WEIGHT
IS DOING TO MY BODY
309
00:17:53,633 --> 00:17:54,967
PUTS IT IN PERSPECTIVE
310
00:17:54,967 --> 00:17:57,900
THAT I CAN'T JUST PUT IT OFF
UNTIL TOMORROW ANYMORE.
311
00:17:57,900 --> 00:18:02,700
I'M REALLY SCARED.
312
00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:06,067
TOMORROW, I COULD BE DEAD.
313
00:18:06,067 --> 00:18:09,667
AND I CAN'T DO THAT TO MY SON.
314
00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:12,600
MY MOM ABANDONED ME,
315
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:17,233
AND I'M NOT GONNA LET MY WEIGHT
TAKE ME AWAY FROM MY CHILD.
316
00:18:17,233 --> 00:18:20,867
THIS IS GONNA BE THE HARDEST
THING I'VE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE.
317
00:18:27,233 --> 00:18:29,600
Jacob: HEY, BABY, YOU READY?
WE GOT EVERYTHING LOADED.
318
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:30,700
COME ON, LET'S GO.
319
00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:33,700
OUR LEASE IS UP
ON OUR CURRENT HOUSE,
320
00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:36,667
SO WE'RE MOVING
TO A NEW PLACE NEARBY.
321
00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:40,567
I'M TRYING TO HELP
WHERE I CAN AND STAY ACTIVE.
322
00:18:40,567 --> 00:18:43,067
AND I'VE BEEN MAKING PROGRESS.
323
00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:46,900
OKAY.
324
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:48,767
I NOTICE I CAN WALK OUT
TO THE TRUCK
325
00:18:48,767 --> 00:18:50,500
AND NOT BE
OUT OF BREATH ANYMORE,
326
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:52,200
AND JUST LITTLE THINGS
LIKE THAT
327
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,933
HAVE BEEN A LOT EASIER.
328
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:57,633
BUT MOVING IS STRESSFUL,
AND WE CAN'T COOK,
329
00:18:57,633 --> 00:19:00,533
SO WE HAVE TO GET FAST FOOD.
330
00:19:00,533 --> 00:19:04,067
ALL RIGHT, MAN, LET ME GET
AN ULTIMATE BACON CHEESEBURGER.
331
00:19:04,067 --> 00:19:05,333
MAKE IT A LARGE.
332
00:19:05,333 --> 00:19:07,800
YOU WANT THE SALAD, OR YOU JUST
WANT THE CHICKEN FILLET?
333
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,200
I JUST WANT THE CHICKEN.
OKAY.
334
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,067
I'M TRYING TO FIND
SOMETHING HEALTHY,
335
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:14,200
BUT JAKE HASN'T TRIED AT ALL.
336
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,067
AND IT'S REALLY HARD.
337
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:17,933
HERE YOU GO.
338
00:19:17,933 --> 00:19:19,700
I'M EATING A PIECE OF CHICKEN,
339
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,133
AND HE'S EATING, YOU KNOW,
A HAMBURGER.
340
00:19:22,133 --> 00:19:25,600
I WISH I HAD
MORE OF HIS SUPPORT.
341
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,300
BUT WHEN I GOT IN THIS PROCESS,
342
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:31,800
I KNEW THAT IT WAS
GONNA BE DIFFICULT.
343
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:35,100
AND I KNEW THAT I WAS GONNA HAVE
TO HAVE THE WILLPOWER TO SAY,
344
00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:37,733
YOU KNOW, AND THAT'S PROBABLY
THE HARDEST PART,
345
00:19:37,733 --> 00:19:39,733
IS FINDING SOMETHING
THAT REPLACES
346
00:19:39,733 --> 00:19:41,400
THE COMFORT THAT FOOD GIVES ME.
347
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,600
BABE, ARE THEY GONNA HOLD ME --
THESE STAIRS?
348
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,333
I DON'T KNOW.
ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.
349
00:19:46,333 --> 00:19:50,433
BUT I KNOW
IT'S A WORK IN PROGRESS.
350
00:19:50,433 --> 00:19:53,667
HOO HOO.
OH, NO, WE'RE GOOD.
351
00:19:53,667 --> 00:19:56,100
AND IT'S ULTIMATELY UP TO ME.
352
00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:57,933
[ SIGHS ]
353
00:20:09,767 --> 00:20:13,233
I'VE WORKED SO HARD
OVER THE LAST MONTH,
354
00:20:13,233 --> 00:20:16,700
BUT 50 POUNDS WAS A LOT TO LOSE.
355
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:19,933
Woman: MRS. BRATCHER?
356
00:20:19,933 --> 00:20:24,333
Ashley: AND I DON'T KNOW IF I'M
ANYWHERE NEAR THAT RIGHT NOW.
357
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,800
BUT I NEED THIS SO BAD.
358
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,767
MY WEIGHT HAS GOTTEN
SO OUT OF CONTROL.
359
00:20:32,767 --> 00:20:37,067
WITHOUT THIS SURGERY,
I'M JUST HOPELESS.
360
00:20:42,467 --> 00:20:46,833
**
361
00:20:46,833 --> 00:20:49,467
Ashley:
I'M REALLY SCARED RIGHT NOW.
362
00:20:49,467 --> 00:20:53,567
DR. NOWZARADAN WANTED ME TO LOSE
50 POUNDS AND GET UNDER 675,
363
00:20:53,567 --> 00:20:55,533
AND I HOPE I'VE DONE THAT.
364
00:20:55,533 --> 00:21:00,267
I NEED THIS SURGERY
MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
365
00:21:00,267 --> 00:21:02,800
Woman: 667.
366
00:21:04,267 --> 00:21:06,900
Ashley: [ Chuckling ]
I'M KIND OF IN SHOCK.
367
00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:10,533
BUT I'M SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW.
368
00:21:10,533 --> 00:21:13,433
Jacob: CONGRATULATIONS.
369
00:21:13,433 --> 00:21:15,267
[ Chuckling ]
CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
370
00:21:15,267 --> 00:21:17,600
IT'S A LOT.
371
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:18,533
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
372
00:21:18,533 --> 00:21:19,367
HELLO.
373
00:21:19,367 --> 00:21:20,900
HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING?
374
00:21:20,900 --> 00:21:22,333
GOOD.
375
00:21:22,333 --> 00:21:23,867
SO, YOU LOST
SOME WEIGHT, HUH?
376
00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:25,900
YES, SIR.
60 POUNDS.
377
00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:27,933
AND YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE
GONNA LOSE THAT, HUH?
378
00:21:27,933 --> 00:21:29,967
NO. I WAS VERY HAPPY.
[ CHUCKLES ]
379
00:21:29,967 --> 00:21:32,267
WELL, THAT'S GOOD.
THAT'S VERY GOOD.
380
00:21:32,267 --> 00:21:35,167
I WAS VERY CONCERNED ABOUT
HOW MUCH CHANGE ASHLEY
381
00:21:35,167 --> 00:21:37,333
WOULD HAVE TO MAKE
TO LOSE WEIGHT,
382
00:21:37,333 --> 00:21:39,067
BUT SHE DID EXCELLENTLY.
383
00:21:39,067 --> 00:21:42,600
THERE'S STILL A LOT OF CHANGES
THAT THEY NEED TO MAKE
384
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,267
FOR THE DYNAMIC AT HOME,
385
00:21:44,267 --> 00:21:48,133
BUT SHE SHOWED ME SHE'S READY
RIGHT NOW FOR THE NEXT STEP.
386
00:21:48,133 --> 00:21:49,933
I'M GONNA GO AHEAD
AT THIS POINT
387
00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:52,100
AND APPROVE YOU
FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.
388
00:21:52,100 --> 00:21:53,700
SO, HOW DOES
THAT SOUND TO YOU?
389
00:21:53,700 --> 00:21:55,067
GOOD. [ CHUCKLES ]
390
00:21:55,067 --> 00:21:56,867
YOU'RE EXCITED?
391
00:21:56,867 --> 00:21:58,633
ALL RIGHT,
WE'LL GET YOU FIXED UP.
392
00:21:58,633 --> 00:22:01,167
SOUNDS GREAT.
THANK YOU, DR. NOWZARADAN.
393
00:22:01,167 --> 00:22:02,633
YOU'RE WELCOME.
394
00:22:02,633 --> 00:22:04,733
Dr. Nowzaradan:
THERE'S STILL A LOT OF WORK
395
00:22:04,733 --> 00:22:05,967
THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE,
396
00:22:05,967 --> 00:22:07,967
AND THE NEXT FEW MONTHS
IS GONNA BE VERY HARD
397
00:22:07,967 --> 00:22:10,067
FOR ASHLEY TO ADOPT NEW HABITS.
398
00:22:10,067 --> 00:22:13,067
BUT FOR NOW, SURGERY
IS GOING TO HELP HER.
399
00:22:13,067 --> 00:22:15,400
Ashley: BECAUSE I DID LOSE
THE WEIGHT,
400
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:16,800
PLUS A LITTLE BIT MORE,
401
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,767
I THINK IT SHOWED HIM THAT
I AM TAKING IT SERIOUS.
402
00:22:19,767 --> 00:22:21,067
Patrick: MOMMY!
403
00:22:21,067 --> 00:22:23,367
COME ON, LET'S GO.
404
00:22:23,367 --> 00:22:26,700
WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY
WILL CHANGE MY LIFE.
405
00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:30,067
AND I'M JUST EXCITED
TO SEE WHERE IT GOES.
406
00:22:32,633 --> 00:22:35,267
[ BIRDS CHIRP ]
407
00:22:35,267 --> 00:22:40,433
TOMORROW MORNING, I'M GOING IN
FOR GASTRIC BYPASS.
408
00:22:42,233 --> 00:22:44,467
I THINK I HAVE EVERYTHING.
CLOTHES...
409
00:22:44,467 --> 00:22:49,500
I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT HOW
MUCH MY LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE.
410
00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:52,933
MY MOM HAS COME DOWN
TO HELP WATCH PATRICK
411
00:22:52,933 --> 00:22:56,067
WHILE ME AND JAKE
ARE AT THE HOSPITAL.
412
00:22:56,067 --> 00:22:58,767
I RECENTLY LET HER
BACK IN MY LIFE
413
00:22:58,767 --> 00:23:02,833
BECAUSE SHE'S BEEN FREE OF
HER ADDICTION FOR A WHILE NOW.
414
00:23:02,833 --> 00:23:06,167
DRUG ADDICTION TOOK MY MOM
FOR YEARS.
415
00:23:06,167 --> 00:23:07,600
[ LAUGHS ]
416
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:09,800
BUT NOW THAT SHE'S GOTTEN HELP,
417
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,600
WE'VE STARTED
OUR RELATIONSHIP AGAIN.
418
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,500
I LOVE YOU.
419
00:23:15,500 --> 00:23:17,867
Stephanie: NOW THAT I'M BACK
IN THEIR LIFE,
420
00:23:17,867 --> 00:23:20,567
I'M TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR THE
TIME THAT I MISSED WITH THEM.
421
00:23:20,567 --> 00:23:23,933
AND I JUST WANTED TO BE HERE
TO HELP WITH HER
422
00:23:23,933 --> 00:23:25,867
AND HELP WITH MY GRANDSON.
423
00:23:25,867 --> 00:23:27,300
YOU'RE GOING
TO HAVE SURGERY,
424
00:23:27,300 --> 00:23:29,300
AND I'M PROBABLY MORE NERVOUS
THAN YOU ARE.
425
00:23:29,300 --> 00:23:33,767
I KNEW IT WAS MY FAULT
THAT SHE HAD TURNED TO FOOD
426
00:23:33,767 --> 00:23:35,867
BECAUSE I WAS NOT THERE.
427
00:23:35,867 --> 00:23:38,967
Ashley: WE STILL HAVE A LOT
TO TALK ABOUT,
428
00:23:38,967 --> 00:23:42,867
BUT RIGHT NOW,
I SEE HER AS AN INSPIRATION
429
00:23:42,867 --> 00:23:47,133
BECAUSE I FIGURE, IF SHE CAN
BREAK FREE OF HER ADDICTION,
430
00:23:47,133 --> 00:23:48,400
THEN SO CAN I.
431
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:49,733
[ SIGHS ]
432
00:23:49,733 --> 00:23:52,067
**
433
00:23:52,067 --> 00:23:55,100
I JUST HOPE I MAKE A LOT
OF PROGRESS QUICKLY,
434
00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:58,267
BECAUSE PATRICK IS STARTING
SCHOOL NEXT MONTH,
435
00:23:58,267 --> 00:23:59,800
AND FOR THE FIRST TIME,
436
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,467
I WON'T HAVE ANYONE AT HOME
TO HELP ME,
437
00:24:02,467 --> 00:24:04,333
AND THAT'S SCARY.
438
00:24:04,333 --> 00:24:09,333
BUT AT THE SAME TIME,
IT'S GONNA HELP PUSH ME
439
00:24:09,333 --> 00:24:12,067
TO MAKE PROGRESS
BECAUSE I HAVE TO.
440
00:24:14,767 --> 00:24:16,967
**
441
00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:22,967
I LOVE YOU, MOMMY.
442
00:24:22,967 --> 00:24:24,533
I LOVE YOU. BE GOOD.
443
00:24:24,533 --> 00:24:25,867
Jacob:
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
444
00:24:27,367 --> 00:24:29,533
I LOVE YOU.
I'LL SEE YOU IN A LITTLE BIT.
445
00:24:29,533 --> 00:24:31,200
I LOVE YOU, PAT-PAT.
446
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:35,333
I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS NOW THAT
THE DAY OF SURGERY IS HERE.
447
00:24:35,333 --> 00:24:39,233
PATRICK KNOWS I'M SCARED,
BUT AS HE GETS OLDER,
448
00:24:39,233 --> 00:24:42,267
I HOPE HE'LL UNDERSTAND
WHAT I'M DOING HERE TODAY
449
00:24:42,267 --> 00:24:43,633
TO BE THERE WITH HIM.
450
00:24:43,633 --> 00:24:46,667
BUT I KNOW
ANYTHING CAN GO WRONG,
451
00:24:46,667 --> 00:24:49,333
AND THAT TERRIFIES ME RIGHT NOW.
452
00:24:49,333 --> 00:24:51,133
TAKE YOUR TIME.
453
00:24:51,133 --> 00:24:54,500
BUT I'M JUST PRAYING
IT'S ALL GONNA BE OKAY.
454
00:24:59,567 --> 00:25:04,233
Dr. Nowzaradan:
TODAY WE'RE ATTEMPTING TO DO
GASTRIC BYPASS ON ASHLEY.
455
00:25:04,233 --> 00:25:07,467
BUT IT'S GONNA BE A VERY HARD
SURGICAL PROCEDURE,
456
00:25:07,467 --> 00:25:09,400
BECAUSE SHE IS EXTREMELY OBESE
457
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,067
AND WE HAVE TO BE VERY CAREFUL
WITH HER
458
00:25:12,067 --> 00:25:15,300
AND MAKE SURE
NOTHING WE DO TODAY
459
00:25:15,300 --> 00:25:19,433
PUSHES HER BODY OVER THE LIMIT
DURING THE SURGERY.
460
00:25:23,233 --> 00:25:25,100
WITH THE GASTRIC BYPASS,
461
00:25:25,100 --> 00:25:28,533
WE DRASTICALLY REDUCE THE SIZE
OF THE STOMACH
462
00:25:28,533 --> 00:25:30,233
TO LIMIT THE AMOUNT OF FOOD
463
00:25:30,233 --> 00:25:32,600
THAT PATIENT CAN EAT
IN ONE SITTING.
464
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:35,233
WE ALSO WRAP THE INTESTINE
465
00:25:35,233 --> 00:25:39,500
SO THEY CAN ABSORB LESS
OF WHAT THEY EAT.
466
00:25:39,500 --> 00:25:43,333
THERE IS ALL THE ANTICIPATION
WE CAN LOSE WEIGHT QUICKLY.
467
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:49,133
IT'S VERY STRESSFUL, BUT WE'RE
HERE TO SUPPORT ASHLEY.
468
00:25:49,133 --> 00:25:52,233
THIS IS ABOUT HER FUTURE,
HER HEALTH.
469
00:25:52,233 --> 00:25:55,400
Jacob: I HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT
ASHLEY HAVING THE SURGERY.
470
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:58,533
I KNOW THAT ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN
BECAUSE OF HER SIZE.
471
00:26:05,933 --> 00:26:07,867
IT'S NOT WORKING.
472
00:26:12,300 --> 00:26:14,067
IF THAT DOESN'T WORK,
473
00:26:14,067 --> 00:26:17,067
BYPASS MIGHT NOT BE POSSIBLE
IN ASHLEY.
474
00:26:28,467 --> 00:26:31,300
Dr. Nowzaradan:
ASHLEY HAS A HUGE HERNIA
475
00:26:31,300 --> 00:26:35,233
THAT'S MAKING THIS OPERATION
NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO COMPLETE.
476
00:26:36,567 --> 00:26:39,733
IF WE DON'T FIND
AN ALTERNATIVE SOLUTION,
477
00:26:39,733 --> 00:26:42,833
I HAVE TO CALL OFF
THE BYPASS OPERATION.
478
00:26:42,833 --> 00:26:45,667
AND THIS IS NOT GONNA BE
POSSIBLE TO CLOSE.
479
00:26:45,667 --> 00:26:49,733
UH, AND WE'RE GONNA OPEN UP.
480
00:27:00,967 --> 00:27:03,533
YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.
481
00:27:03,533 --> 00:27:05,733
STILL VERY DIFFICULT
TO MOVE AROUND,
482
00:27:05,733 --> 00:27:09,067
BUT WE'RE ABLE
TO DO BYPASS ON HER.
483
00:27:09,067 --> 00:27:13,500
BUT WE FIND THAT SHE HAD
A LARGE UMBILICAL HERNIA,
484
00:27:13,500 --> 00:27:15,900
AND THAT WILL INCREASE HER RISK
485
00:27:15,900 --> 00:27:18,900
OF BOWEL GETTING CAUGHT
IN AFTER SURGERY.
486
00:27:18,900 --> 00:27:22,067
SO WE OPENED UP
AND FIXED HER HERNIA, TOO.
487
00:27:31,267 --> 00:27:34,433
ALL RIGHT.
WE'RE IN GOOD SHAPE.
488
00:27:34,433 --> 00:27:38,700
IT WAS CHALLENGING
TO DO THE CASE.
489
00:27:38,700 --> 00:27:41,933
WE HAD TO DO EVERYTHING
DIFFERENTLY,
490
00:27:41,933 --> 00:27:44,633
BUT OVERALL,
EVERYTHING WENT VERY WELL.
491
00:27:44,633 --> 00:27:46,600
**
492
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:50,700
ASHLEY HAS A LOT TO RECOVER FROM
OVER NEXT FEW DAYS,
493
00:27:50,700 --> 00:27:54,733
BUT SURGERY WILL BE A BIG HELP
FOR HER IN THE SHORT TERM
494
00:27:54,733 --> 00:27:58,267
AS LONG AS SHE'S ABLE TO ADDRESS
THE DYNAMIC AT HOME,
495
00:27:58,267 --> 00:27:59,833
DOWN THE ROAD.
496
00:27:59,833 --> 00:28:03,767
BUT WE NEED TO KEEP AN EYE
ON HER FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS
497
00:28:03,767 --> 00:28:06,367
TO MAKE SURE THAT SHE WILL NOT
HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS
498
00:28:06,367 --> 00:28:07,400
FROM SURGERY.
499
00:28:11,500 --> 00:28:13,167
**
500
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,233
IT'S BEEN A MONTH
SINCE MY SURGERY,
501
00:28:24,233 --> 00:28:27,567
AND THERE'S BEEN A LOT
OF CHANGES IN OUR LIVES.
502
00:28:27,567 --> 00:28:29,400
IT'S BEEN HARD RECOVERING.
503
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,433
I WAS SO GLAD I WAS ABLE
TO GET THE BYPASS
504
00:28:32,433 --> 00:28:35,067
AND MAKE THE PROGRESS
THAT I HAVE.
505
00:28:40,867 --> 00:28:44,367
AND I'M ABLE TO START DOING MORE
AROUND THE HOUSE.
506
00:28:44,367 --> 00:28:47,633
SO PATRICK CAN JUST FOCUS
ON STARTING SCHOOL
507
00:28:47,633 --> 00:28:49,267
AND JUST BEING A KID.
508
00:28:50,067 --> 00:28:51,367
PAT-PAT.
509
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,067
I ALWAYS DREADED THE DAY
HE'D START SCHOOL,
510
00:28:59,067 --> 00:29:01,133
BECAUSE I THOUGHT
I WOULD BE ALONE
511
00:29:01,133 --> 00:29:04,100
AND I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO DO
ANYTHING AROUND THE HOUSE.
512
00:29:04,100 --> 00:29:07,900
BUT HE DESERVES NOT TO HAVE
TO TAKE CARE OF ME.
513
00:29:07,900 --> 00:29:09,633
COME ON.
514
00:29:09,633 --> 00:29:11,500
YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME.
515
00:29:11,500 --> 00:29:13,233
GO SEE YOUR DADDY.
516
00:29:13,233 --> 00:29:15,300
Ashley: HE LOOKS CUTE TODAY,
DOESN'T HE?
517
00:29:15,300 --> 00:29:17,333
THIS IS A REALLY BIG
MOMENT FOR ME
518
00:29:17,333 --> 00:29:20,700
TO BE ABLE TO BE A PART OF IT
AND NOT JUST BE ON THE SIDELINE.
519
00:29:22,533 --> 00:29:24,400
JUST A FEW MONTHS AGO,
520
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:28,733
I WOULD HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE
TO HELP HIM OR GO WITH HIM.
521
00:29:28,733 --> 00:29:31,533
BUT NOW I HAVE THE ENERGY
TO TAKE HIM TO SCHOOL.
522
00:29:42,167 --> 00:29:44,667
YOU KNOW
I'M GONNA MISS YOU?
523
00:29:46,500 --> 00:29:48,133
COME ON.
524
00:29:48,133 --> 00:29:50,867
I LOVE YOU. GOOD LUCK.
525
00:29:50,867 --> 00:29:52,467
[ VEHICLE DOOR CLOSES ]
526
00:29:52,467 --> 00:29:55,833
Ashley:
IN THE FUTURE, I WANT TO BE ABLE
TO GO TO THE CLASSROOM,
527
00:29:55,833 --> 00:29:57,967
AND I WANT TO BE ABLE
TO DO THE THINGS
528
00:29:57,967 --> 00:30:00,300
THAT A MOM IS SUPPOSED TO DO
WITH HER KIDS.
529
00:30:00,300 --> 00:30:02,633
BUT RIGHT NOW, I'M JUST THANKFUL
530
00:30:02,633 --> 00:30:05,900
I'M ABLE TO BE A PART
OF THIS DAY WITH HIM.
531
00:30:05,900 --> 00:30:09,067
I STILL HAVE A LOT OF HURDLES
I GOT TO GET OVER,
532
00:30:09,067 --> 00:30:12,333
BUT JUST THIS LITTLE BIT
OF WEIGHT THAT I'VE LOST,
533
00:30:12,333 --> 00:30:15,833
I ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE
I CAN LIVE AGAIN.
534
00:30:15,833 --> 00:30:18,700
THE CRAVINGS HAVE BEEN
COMING BACK,
535
00:30:18,700 --> 00:30:20,467
BUT I'VE JUST BEEN FOCUSING
536
00:30:20,467 --> 00:30:23,433
ON TRYING TO AVOID FOOD
THAT I SHOULDN'T EAT.
537
00:30:23,433 --> 00:30:27,933
I'M JUST GONNA PUSH MYSELF
TO DO A LITTLE MORE EACH DAY
538
00:30:27,933 --> 00:30:31,767
AND NOT GIVE IN TO ANYTHING
THAT'S GONNA HURT ME.
539
00:30:41,067 --> 00:30:43,567
THIS IS ALL VERY NEW FOR ME.
540
00:30:46,633 --> 00:30:48,200
THESE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS,
541
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:50,367
I'VE BEEN PUSHING MYSELF
TO DO MORE.
542
00:30:50,367 --> 00:30:53,767
RIGHT NOW, I'M TRYING TO GO
TO THE GROCERY STORE
543
00:30:53,767 --> 00:30:56,000
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN TWO YEARS.
544
00:30:56,000 --> 00:31:01,667
BUT I'M A LITTLE SCARED BEING
IN THERE AROUND ALL THAT FOOD.
545
00:31:01,667 --> 00:31:04,100
I'VE BEEN MAKING
HEALTHY CHOICES,
546
00:31:04,100 --> 00:31:05,833
BUT IT'S GETTING TOUGHER.
547
00:31:05,833 --> 00:31:09,600
I TURNED TO FOOD
FOR ALL MY EMOTIONS.
548
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:13,067
NOW THAT'S NOT
AN OPTION ANYMORE.
549
00:31:13,067 --> 00:31:16,367
SO MY ANXIETY LEVELS
ARE THROUGH THE ROOF.
550
00:31:16,367 --> 00:31:17,567
I GET OVERWHELMED.
551
00:31:17,567 --> 00:31:19,067
MY HEART STARTS RACING,
552
00:31:19,067 --> 00:31:22,433
AND I FEEL LIKE I'M GETTING
A PANIC ATTACK OR SOMETHING.
553
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:29,167
I JUST HAVE TO HAVE A MINUTE
TO MYSELF.
554
00:31:33,500 --> 00:31:36,400
BUT I'M MAKING MYSELF
DO THIS ANYWAY
555
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:40,067
BECAUSE IT'S A FEAR
I NEED TO GET OVER.
556
00:31:40,067 --> 00:31:42,633
I GOT THIS.
I CAN DO THIS.
557
00:31:42,633 --> 00:31:45,567
I MEAN, I'M PROUD OF THE WEIGHT
THAT I'VE LOST ALREADY,
558
00:31:45,567 --> 00:31:49,233
BUT I SEE ALL THE THINGS
THAT I USED TO ENJOY EATING,
559
00:31:49,233 --> 00:31:55,067
AND IT IS A REMINDER OF WHAT
MY LIFE USED TO BE ABOUT.
560
00:31:55,067 --> 00:31:57,300
AND IT'S STILL REALLY HARD
FOR ME.
561
00:32:01,133 --> 00:32:04,133
I'M NOT USED TO FEELING
THIS WAY.
562
00:32:04,133 --> 00:32:08,567
AND JAKE AND MY MOM ARE STILL
EATING THINGS THAT I CAN'T,
563
00:32:08,567 --> 00:32:12,167
AND IT'S JUST HARD BEING AROUND
FOOD THAT I CAN'T EAT
564
00:32:12,167 --> 00:32:14,300
AND NOT START TO GIVE IN.
565
00:32:14,300 --> 00:32:18,600
IT'S GETTING HARDER
AND HARDER TO COPE.
566
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:22,633
BUT I CAN'T GO BACK
TO THE WAY
I WAS...
567
00:32:22,633 --> 00:32:24,767
AND FAIL AT THIS.
568
00:32:27,167 --> 00:32:30,167
**
569
00:32:30,167 --> 00:32:33,867
[ RETCHING, COUGHING ]
570
00:32:45,633 --> 00:32:49,700
Dr. Nowzaradan:
RIGHT NOW, I'M TAKING ASHLEY
TO EMERGENCY SURGERY.
571
00:32:49,700 --> 00:32:51,467
TALKING TO HER HUSBAND,
572
00:32:51,467 --> 00:32:55,467
IT SEEMS LIKE SHE'S BEEN DEALING
WITH A LOT OF ANXIETY
573
00:32:55,467 --> 00:32:58,067
NOW THAT HER EATING HABIT
IS LIMITED.
574
00:32:58,067 --> 00:33:01,700
AND AS A RESULT, SHE MAY BE
ABUSING HER PAIN MEDICATION.
575
00:33:14,533 --> 00:33:17,067
AND THIS COULD BE
A LIFE-THREATENING SITUATION
576
00:33:17,067 --> 00:33:18,833
FOR HER RIGHT NOW.
577
00:33:18,833 --> 00:33:20,367
WE CAN TURN THE ROOM LIGHT OFF.
578
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:47,100
**
579
00:33:49,233 --> 00:33:52,100
Dr. Nowzaradan: ASHLEY IS IN
A LIFE-THREATENING SITUATION.
580
00:33:52,100 --> 00:33:54,767
SHE HAS DEVELOPED
A PERFORATED ULCER,
581
00:33:54,767 --> 00:33:57,667
AND HER STOMACH IS SPILLING
GASTRIC FLUID
582
00:33:57,667 --> 00:33:59,367
IN HER ABDOMINAL CAVITY.
583
00:33:59,367 --> 00:34:04,100
WE'RE ATTEMPTING TO REPAIR IT
RIGHT NOW.
584
00:34:04,100 --> 00:34:07,600
Jacob: RIGHT NOW, ASHLEY
IS NOT DOING TOO GOOD,
585
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:10,133
AND WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT IF
SHE'S GONNA SURVIVE OR NOT.
586
00:34:10,133 --> 00:34:11,567
Dr. Nowzaradan: ALL RIGHT.
587
00:34:15,367 --> 00:34:17,900
BUT SHE'S FAR FROM BEING
OUT OF THE WOODS.
588
00:34:17,900 --> 00:34:18,900
GO FORWARD.
589
00:34:21,167 --> 00:34:24,600
GO AHEAD AND CLOSE HER UP.
590
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:26,167
WE HAVE HER STABLE NOW,
591
00:34:26,167 --> 00:34:28,600
BUT SHE'LL BE
IN CRITICAL CONDITION
592
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:32,067
FOR THE NEXT 72 HOURS
BEFORE WE KNOW HOW SHE'S DOING.
593
00:34:32,067 --> 00:34:35,067
IT WILL TAKE HER A MONTH OR TWO
TO FULLY RECOVER
594
00:34:35,067 --> 00:34:36,767
TO BE ABLE TO GO BACK HOME.
595
00:34:36,767 --> 00:34:38,867
IT'S GOING TO BE HARD FOR HER.
596
00:34:38,867 --> 00:34:41,967
BUT ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS
SHE NEEDS TO DO
597
00:34:41,967 --> 00:34:45,433
AFTER LEAVING THE HOSPITAL
IS GO SEE A THERAPIST.
598
00:34:45,433 --> 00:34:50,533
SHE USES SELF-DESTRUCTIVE WAYS
TO COPE WITH HER EMOTIONS,
599
00:34:50,533 --> 00:34:52,733
AND THAT HAS TO STOP
IMMEDIATELY.
600
00:35:02,733 --> 00:35:06,767
I'VE BEEN IN A HOSPITAL
RECOVERING FOR SIX WEEKS NOW.
601
00:35:06,767 --> 00:35:10,667
ASHLEY, ARE WE GOING
TO TRY TO STAND UP?
602
00:35:10,667 --> 00:35:15,933
DR. NOW TOLD ME I WAS TAKING
TOO MUCH PAIN MEDICINE.
603
00:35:15,933 --> 00:35:19,933
AND THAT DID A LOT OF DAMAGE
TO MY STOMACH.
604
00:35:23,500 --> 00:35:26,400
AND NOW I'M BACK
IN THE HOSPITAL,
605
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:30,300
AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE
TO START ALL OVER AGAIN.
606
00:35:30,300 --> 00:35:33,433
THEY HAD TO OPEN ME UP,
607
00:35:33,433 --> 00:35:36,633
SO IT HURTS TO WALK RIGHT NOW.
608
00:35:36,633 --> 00:35:40,967
IT'S JUST HARD BECAUSE I FEEL
LIKE I'VE MADE SO MUCH PROGRESS,
609
00:35:40,967 --> 00:35:42,967
AND IT'S JUST WASTED NOW.
610
00:35:42,967 --> 00:35:44,667
BREATHE, BREATHE,
BREATHE, BREATHE.
611
00:35:44,667 --> 00:35:48,767
AND I HAVE TO WORK UP ALL
MY STRENGTH TO WALK AGAIN.
612
00:35:51,633 --> 00:35:54,967
I'M JUST SO FRUSTRATED
RIGHT NOW...
613
00:35:54,967 --> 00:35:58,067
AND ANGRY.
614
00:35:58,067 --> 00:35:59,833
[ WHIMPERS ]
615
00:35:59,833 --> 00:36:01,867
THERE YOU GO.
GOOD JOB.
616
00:36:01,867 --> 00:36:03,067
I DON'T WANT TO WALK.
617
00:36:03,067 --> 00:36:04,500
NO, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO WALK.
618
00:36:04,500 --> 00:36:06,133
I CAN'T MOVE.
IT'S GONNA GO.
619
00:36:06,133 --> 00:36:07,233
OKAY. COME ON.
620
00:36:07,233 --> 00:36:08,233
GO AHEAD AND SIT.
621
00:36:08,233 --> 00:36:09,400
SIT DOWN.
622
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:10,867
I DON'T WANT TO HAVE
TO DO THIS ALL AGAIN.
623
00:36:10,867 --> 00:36:13,300
GOOD JOB!
GOOD JOB!
624
00:36:13,300 --> 00:36:15,467
AND THE DOC SAID
I NEED TO SEE A THERAPIST
625
00:36:15,467 --> 00:36:18,467
AS SOON AS I'M ABLE TO GET
AROUND AGAIN.
626
00:36:18,467 --> 00:36:21,300
I KNOW I NEED TO TALK
TO SOMEONE,
627
00:36:21,300 --> 00:36:24,667
BUT I'M SCARED THAT
IT'S NOT GONNA HELP...
628
00:36:24,667 --> 00:36:25,500
NOT TODAY, OKAY?
629
00:36:25,500 --> 00:36:27,400
THANK Y'ALL.
BYE-BYE.
630
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:30,833
...AND I'M GONNA HAVE TO RETURN
TO FOOD AT SOME POINT.
631
00:36:44,900 --> 00:36:48,200
IT WAS A LONG RECOVERY
IN THE HOSPITAL,
632
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:51,400
BUT I'M ABLE TO WALK SOME
WITH A WALKER RIGHT NOW.
633
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:53,967
SO DR. NOWZARADAN DISCHARGED ME
634
00:36:53,967 --> 00:36:56,333
AND IS SENDING ME
TO SEE A THERAPIST.
635
00:36:56,333 --> 00:36:59,733
I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS
BECAUSE I KNOW
636
00:36:59,733 --> 00:37:03,133
THIS IS SUPPOSED TO HELP ME
FIND HEALTHY WAYS
637
00:37:03,133 --> 00:37:05,067
TO COPE WITH MY EMOTIONS.
638
00:37:05,067 --> 00:37:07,700
BUT WHAT IF I CAN'T?
639
00:37:07,700 --> 00:37:11,067
I'M JUST SCARED THAT NOTHING
IS GONNA BE ABLE
640
00:37:11,067 --> 00:37:13,133
TO HELP ME COPE LIKE FOOD HAS.
641
00:37:13,133 --> 00:37:15,400
I'M ASHLEY.
642
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:17,133
I'M SANTHI.
I'M SORRY.
643
00:37:17,133 --> 00:37:19,200
DR. PERIASAMY.
644
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,200
WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOURSELF
645
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,567
AND KIND OF WHAT
BRINGS YOU HERE TODAY.
646
00:37:23,567 --> 00:37:27,567
I AM GOING THROUGH A PROCESS
FOR MAJOR WEIGHT LOSS.
647
00:37:27,567 --> 00:37:30,533
TELL ME WHAT LED YOU
TO THIS POINT IN YOUR LIFE.
648
00:37:30,533 --> 00:37:33,967
I WAS A PRODUCT
OF SEXUAL ABUSE.
649
00:37:33,967 --> 00:37:36,367
I WAS SCARED
TO TELL ANYBODY.
650
00:37:36,367 --> 00:37:37,633
OKAY.
651
00:37:37,633 --> 00:37:40,467
AND I WENT ALONG WITH IT
652
00:37:40,467 --> 00:37:42,067
BECAUSE I HAD
A LITTLE SISTER
653
00:37:42,067 --> 00:37:44,067
AND I HAD A LITTLE BROTHER
TO PROTECT,
654
00:37:44,067 --> 00:37:46,300
SO I WAS PROTECTING MY SISTER
FROM THE BASTARD.
655
00:37:46,300 --> 00:37:47,967
SURE.
656
00:37:47,967 --> 00:37:50,100
[ Voice breaking ]
AND HE DIDN'T TOUCH HER,
657
00:37:50,100 --> 00:37:52,900
SO I DID PROTECT HER,
IN A WAY.
658
00:37:52,900 --> 00:37:54,867
THAT KIND OF FELT LIKE
YOU SACRIFICED YOURSELF
659
00:37:54,867 --> 00:37:56,333
TO PROTECT HER.
660
00:37:56,333 --> 00:38:00,500
THAT'S A LOT TO HOLD AND CARRY
ALL BY YOURSELF.
661
00:38:00,500 --> 00:38:02,633
I TURNED TO FOOD
FOR COMFORT.
662
00:38:02,633 --> 00:38:04,600
FOOD ALMOST KILLED ME.
663
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:06,433
IT'S NOT
MY COMFORT ANYMORE.
664
00:38:06,433 --> 00:38:09,300
I'M HAVING A HARD TIME
FINDING THAT COMFORT.
665
00:38:09,300 --> 00:38:13,267
WHEN PEOPLE ARE LOSING KIND OF
FOOD AS A COPING MECHANISM,
666
00:38:13,267 --> 00:38:17,067
WHAT YOU END UP FINDING IS YOU
GET A FLOOD OF EMOTION.
667
00:38:17,067 --> 00:38:21,533
SOMETIMES IF WE CAN GET TO
THE ROOT OF WHERE ANXIETY IS,
668
00:38:21,533 --> 00:38:23,667
THEN WE CAN KIND OF FIGURE OUT
HOW TO COPE.
669
00:38:23,667 --> 00:38:28,467
SOMETIMES PEOPLE JOURNAL,
SOMETIMES THEY CREATE SOMETHING.
670
00:38:28,467 --> 00:38:31,433
JUST TRACKING EMOTIONS
AND FEELINGS
671
00:38:31,433 --> 00:38:33,567
CAN SOMETIMES BE HELPFUL.
672
00:38:35,100 --> 00:38:37,233
ALL RIGHT, WELL,
IT WAS SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
673
00:38:37,233 --> 00:38:38,633
IT WAS NICE
TO MEET YOU, TOO?
674
00:38:38,633 --> 00:38:40,200
AND I LOOK FORWARD TO
SEEING YOU AGAIN, OKAY?
675
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:41,533
THANK YOU.
676
00:38:41,533 --> 00:38:43,867
Ashley:
I'VE SPENT A LOT OF TIME
677
00:38:43,867 --> 00:38:46,333
AVOIDING FEELING
MUCH OF ANYTHING.
678
00:38:46,333 --> 00:38:50,367
YOU CAN'T JUST CHANGE THAT
IN AN INSTANT.
679
00:38:50,367 --> 00:38:54,267
AND I'M SCARED
I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO.
680
00:38:54,267 --> 00:38:56,767
ALL I KNOW IS FOOD.
681
00:38:56,767 --> 00:39:00,933
AND IT'S GONNA BE SO HARD
NOT TO GO BACK TO IT
682
00:39:00,933 --> 00:39:03,933
IF I CAN'T FIGURE OUT
HOW TO DO THIS.
683
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:11,967
**
684
00:39:19,067 --> 00:39:22,200
I'VE BEEN WORKING HARD
THIS PAST MONTH
685
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:24,200
TO WALK AS MUCH AS I CAN.
686
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:27,633
AND I'M ABLE TO WALK AROUND
A LITTLE BIT AT A TIME
687
00:39:27,633 --> 00:39:29,067
WITHOUT THE WALKER.
688
00:39:29,067 --> 00:39:33,067
I'M ALSO TRYING TO DEAL WITH
MY EMOTIONS WHEN I HAVE THEM,
689
00:39:33,067 --> 00:39:35,533
INSTEAD OF RUNNING FROM THEM.
690
00:39:35,533 --> 00:39:37,467
IT'S NOT EASY.
691
00:39:37,467 --> 00:39:39,900
HEY, BABY.
692
00:39:39,900 --> 00:39:44,833
BUT I'M TRYING NEW THINGS EACH
DAY TO WORK THROUGH HOW I FEEL,
693
00:39:44,833 --> 00:39:48,067
INSTEAD OF AVOIDING IT
UNTIL I GET OVERWHELMED.
694
00:39:48,067 --> 00:39:50,667
THANK YOU, BABY.
695
00:39:50,667 --> 00:39:53,067
I WANT TO DO MORE WITH PATRICK.
696
00:39:53,067 --> 00:39:55,467
HE LOVES GOING FISHING
WITH HIS DAD,
697
00:39:55,467 --> 00:39:58,067
AND HE ALWAYS WANTS ME
TO GO WITH HIM.
698
00:39:58,067 --> 00:39:59,900
I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO,
699
00:39:59,900 --> 00:40:03,100
SO MY GOAL IS TO NOT
ONLY LOSE 225 POUNDS
700
00:40:03,100 --> 00:40:04,567
BY MY NEXT CHECKUP
701
00:40:04,567 --> 00:40:08,033
BUT TO SURPRISE THEM
BY GOING FISHING.
702
00:40:12,967 --> 00:40:14,267
OVER THE LAST FEW WEEKS,
703
00:40:14,267 --> 00:40:16,167
I HAD A TALK WITH JAKE
AND MY MOM
704
00:40:16,167 --> 00:40:19,867
ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO BE
AROUND THE FOOD THEY EAT.
705
00:40:19,867 --> 00:40:22,900
THEY UNDERSTOOD A LOT MORE
THAN I THOUGHT,
706
00:40:22,900 --> 00:40:27,000
AND I WISH I HADN'T WAITED SO
LONG TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT.
707
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,833
Jacob: WE'RE TRYING TO
INCORPORATE SOME VEGETABLES
708
00:40:29,833 --> 00:40:31,900
INTO OUR DIET
IN DIFFERENT THINGS.
709
00:40:31,900 --> 00:40:33,200
VEGETABLES AREN'T MY FAVORITE,
710
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,167
BUT I'M TRYING TO INCORPORATE
THEM IN THERE
711
00:40:35,167 --> 00:40:36,767
BECAUSE ASHLEY HAS WORKED
SO HARD.
712
00:40:36,767 --> 00:40:39,400
I LOVE HER,
AND I'M DOING THIS FOR HER.
713
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:41,733
-SO, IS SQUASH...
-GOOD.
714
00:40:41,733 --> 00:40:45,533
Ashley:
I'M JUST SO THANKFUL MY FAMILY
IS COMMITTED TO THIS WITH ME,
715
00:40:45,533 --> 00:40:48,833
BECAUSE I KNOW I COULDN'T KEEP
DOING THIS ON MY OWN.
716
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,967
**
717
00:40:53,967 --> 00:40:57,300
I KNOW I'VE BEEN MAKING
GOOD PROGRESS,
718
00:40:57,300 --> 00:41:02,300
AND I'M EXCITED TO SEE IF I HIT
MY GOAL OF LOSING 225 POUNDS.
719
00:41:02,300 --> 00:41:03,567
Woman: 470.
720
00:41:03,567 --> 00:41:04,800
[ LAUGHS ]
721
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:08,533
SO, YOU'RE DOWN
TO 255 POUNDS.
722
00:41:08,533 --> 00:41:10,600
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LOSE
ALL THAT WEIGHT?
723
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:13,067
CRAZY.
IT'S AMAZING.
724
00:41:13,067 --> 00:41:14,267
IT'S BEEN A HARD ROAD,
725
00:41:14,267 --> 00:41:16,833
BUT I THINK, OVERALL,
YOU'RE DOING VERY WELL.
726
00:41:16,833 --> 00:41:19,600
ASHLEY HAS MADE GREAT PROGRESS,
727
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:23,533
AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO
SEEING HER HIT HER GOAL WEIGHT
728
00:41:23,533 --> 00:41:24,900
IN THE NEXT YEAR OR SO.
729
00:41:24,900 --> 00:41:28,300
Ashley: I AM SO GLAD
FOR THIS PAST YEAR.
730
00:41:28,300 --> 00:41:33,233
NOW I CAN BE A PART OF MY FAMILY
AND GIVE BACK TO THEM,
731
00:41:33,233 --> 00:41:36,633
INSTEAD OF THEM
JUST TAKING CARE OF ME.
732
00:41:39,900 --> 00:41:42,200
I SURPRISED PATRICK THIS MORNING
733
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:45,400
AND TOLD HIM THAT I'M GOING
WITH HIM AND JAKE
734
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:47,600
ON THEIR FISHING TRIP THIS TIME.
735
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:51,667
AND IT WAS SO WONDERFUL TO SEE
HIM LIGHT UP WITH EXCITEMENT.
736
00:41:51,667 --> 00:41:54,733
I'M DOING THINGS NOW THAT
I HAVEN'T DONE IN FOREVER.
737
00:41:54,733 --> 00:41:56,267
[ LAUGHS ]
738
00:41:56,267 --> 00:41:57,633
GET HIM. AAH!
739
00:41:57,633 --> 00:41:59,367
Jacob: FEELS REALLY GOOD
TO BE ABLE
740
00:41:59,367 --> 00:42:01,400
TO GO AND DO THINGS
AS A FAMILY TOGETHER.
741
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:03,167
THIS SURGERY HAS DONE
A LOT FOR HER.
742
00:42:03,167 --> 00:42:05,700
SHE'S MORE HAPPY THAN SHE'S BEEN
IN A REALLY LONG TIME.
743
00:42:05,700 --> 00:42:10,333
I'M HAVING A BUNCH OF FUN
CATCHING FISH WITH MY MOMMY.
744
00:42:10,333 --> 00:42:12,433
NOW THAT SHE'S LOSING WEIGHT,
745
00:42:12,433 --> 00:42:15,867
WE CAN GO TO AQUARIUMS TOGETHER
AND TO THE ZOO.
746
00:42:15,867 --> 00:42:18,667
I LOVE MY MOM
BUNCHES AND BUNCHES.
747
00:42:18,667 --> 00:42:23,100
Ashley: IT'S JOYFUL FOR ME TO
SEE PATRICK HAVE A GOOD TIME.
748
00:42:23,100 --> 00:42:25,133
I AM A BIG PART
OF MY FAMILY NOW.
749
00:42:25,133 --> 00:42:27,533
FOR THAT, I'M GRATEFUL.
750
00:42:27,533 --> 00:42:32,167
AND I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING
TO LOSE THAT EVER AGAIN.
56812
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