Original subtitles

Nikki: I FEEL LIKE I'M TRAPPED.

[ Voice breaking ] MY BODY SHOULDN'T LOOK LIKE THIS.

I HATE IT.

[ GROANING ]

Man: MY WEIGHT HAS GIVEN ME A DEATH SENTENCE.

Nikki: THE THING I RELIED ON ALL THESE YEARS

IS WHAT'S KILLING ME.

-IT'S BROKEN! -WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

I DON'T KNOW! I CAN'T GET UP!

DON'T MAKE ME GO. PLEASE.

Man: IT'S HARD TO BE A FATHER FROM A CHAIR.

[ GROANS ] THANK YOU, HONEY.

I SEE THAT UNWILLINGNESS.

AND IF YOU WERE SERIOUS, YOU'D MAKE CHANGES.

Dr. Nowzaradan: WE'RE HAVING SOME DIFFICULTY GETTING EXPOSURE.

MY HOPE WAS TO DO BYPASS ON NIKKI,

BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO BE POSSIBLE.

-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

Nikki: LIFE DOESN'T EVER GO LIKE YOU PLAN.

BUT THERE ARE MOMENTS WHERE YOU SEE THE CONSEQUENCES

OF NOT CHANGING WHAT YOU KNOW IS HURTING YOU.

WHEN I WAKE UP,

THE PAIN THAT I FEEL IS OVERWHELMING.

EVERY BONE IN MY BEING IS TELLING ME TO LAY BACK DOWN.

[ Voice breaking ] IT'S MISERABLE.

I FEEL LIKE I'M TRAPPED

BECAUSE IT'S JUST DIFFICULT TO MOVE MY BODY.

I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN.

I CAN'T STAND FOR VERY LONG AT ALL.

BUT THE HARDEST THING FOR ME TO LIVE WITH IS MY STOMACH.

IT IS SO HEAVY

THAT IT GETS IN THE WAY OF EVERYTHING.

EVEN GETTING IN AND OUT OF THE SHOWER IS EXHAUSTING.

TO JUST SQUEEZE MYSELF IN THERE TAKES ALL MY BREATH AWAY.

AND I RARELY LOOK AT MYSELF NAKED IN THE MIRROR.

[ Voice breaking ] MY BODY SHOULDN'T LOOK LIKE THIS.

LIVING IN THIS BODY IS PAINFUL.

I HATE IT.

THERE'S NO BETTER WORD TO DESCRIBE IT OTHER THAN HATE.

BUT I'VE DONE THIS TO MYSELF.

FOOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN ADDICTION FOR ME.

AND MY ADDICTION TO IT IS KILLING ME.

WHEN I START MY DAY, I CAN'T WAIT TO START EATING.

OKAY, SWEETIE. I'M GONNA SEND IT UP.

ALL RIGHTY.

MY DAD WILL MAKE ME A PLATE AND SEND IT UP TO ME

SO I DON'T HAVE TO GO DOWNSTAIRS AGAIN UNTIL BREAKFAST.

Llewellyn: NIKKI HAS ALWAYS HAD PROBLEMS

WITH HER FOOD ADDICTION.

THERE WERE MANY TIMES

THAT I WOULD TALK TO HER ABOUT HER EATING HABITS,

BUT NIKKI HAS TOLD ME,

"FOOD IS ONE THING I HAVE CONTROL OVER.

IT HURTS MY FEELINGS WHEN YOU TALK TO ME ABOUT IT."

FINALLY, I'D SAY, "OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

NIKKI, I DON'T CARE."

SO, I JUST GIVE HER WHAT SHE WANTS.

Nikki: I KNOW I OVEREAT.

BUT FOOD MAKES ME HAPPY.

AND I FEEL THE MOST AT EASE WITH MY EATING

WHEN I'M EATING BY MYSELF.

'CAUSE THERE'S NO ONE THERE TO JUDGE ME.

THAT'S MY HAPPY PLACE.

Terry: WE NOTICED AT A VERY YOUNG AGE

THAT NIKKI WANTED WHAT SHE WANTED

AND SHE WANTED IT THEN.

SHE LEARNED HOW TO WORK US PRETTY QUICKLY.

IN MANY WAYS, WE WAIT ON NIKKI LIKE YOU WOULD AN INVALID.

AND I'VE ASKED MYSELF SO MANY TIMES,

"WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ENABLING AND HELPING?

WHEN AM I ENABLING HER AND WHEN AM I HELPING HER?"

I DON'T REALLY KNOW THE ANSWER.

I JUST KNOW THAT I'M LOSING MY DAUGHTER A POUND AT A TIME

BECAUSE SHE HAS BECOME A DIFFERENT PERSON,

IN MANY RESPECTS,

THAN MY VIVACIOUS, ENERGETIC DAUGHTER.

AND THAT -- THAT'S JUST --

THAT'S JUST HEARTBREAKING.

Nikki: I WAS A HAPPY KID.

BUT I KNOW THAT I STARTED GAINING WEIGHT

WHEN I WAS ABOUT 4.

AND BY THE TIME I WAS 10 YEARS OLD,

I WEIGHED 140 POUNDS.

THAT'S WHEN I STARTED TO NOTICE THAT I WASN'T LIKE EVERYONE ELSE

AND I DON'T FIT IN MY DESK

AS WELL AS THE GIRL SITTING NEXT TO ME.

EVEN THOUGH I HAD A HAPPY FACE,

INTERNALLY, I FELT LIKE, "I DON'T BELONG HERE."

SO, MY PARENTS TRIED, PROBABLY HUNDREDS OF ATTEMPTS,

TO HELP ME LOSE WEIGHT,

AND IT WAS JUST DEPRESSING AND SAD TO ME.

PART OF ME FELT LIKE, "WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME?

QUIT TRYING TO FIX ME."

Llewellyn: NIKKI TRIED LOTS OF DIFFERENT WAYS TO LOSE WEIGHT.

THEY WOULD WORK FOR A WHILE, AND THEN THEY WOULDN'T.

Nikki: I FELT LIKE A FAILURE,

AND I DIDN'T MEASURE UP TO BE THE DAUGHTER THAT MY MOM WANTED.

Terry: NIKKI AND HER MOM HAVE HAD

WHAT I MIGHT CALL MORE OF A STORMY RELATIONSHIP.

Nikki: I HAVE TWO SISTERS AND A BROTHER.

BUT GROWING UP,

I FEEL LIKE I WASN'T WHAT MY MOM NEEDED.

NIKKI AND I WERE NOT VERY CLOSE.

WE JUST DIDN'T HAVE THAT BOND TOGETHER.

SHE WOULD TELL ME SOMETIMES,

"MOM, YOU SPEND MORE TIME WITH HEIDI,"

OR, "YOU SPEND MORE TIME WITH COURTNEY."

AND SHE WAS VERY JEALOUS OF THAT.

Nikki: WHEN I WAS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL,

MY SISTERS GOT MARRIED WITHIN LIKE SIX MONTHS OF EACH OTHER.

AND THEN WITH THAT CAME, LIKE, GRANDKIDS.

AND MY MOM WAS SO ENAMORED AND ENTHRALLED

WITH WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH MY SISTERS.

OUR RELATIONSHIP SEEMED TO DRIFT EVEN MORE.

I FELT SOMEWHAT INVISIBLE,

WHICH ALLOWED ME TO INVISIBLY GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND EAT.

SO BY THE TIME I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL,

I WEIGHED ALMOST 300 POUNDS,

AND I JUST CONTINUED TO GAIN.

BY THE TIME THAT I LEFT COLLEGE, I HAD REACHED 500 POUNDS.

AND THE LAST TIME I WEIGHED WAS A YEAR AGO.

I WEIGHED 636.

NOW I HAVE NO IDEA HOW HIGH I'M UP TO.

HOW'S THAT?

PERFECT.

AFTER COLLEGE, I MOVED BACK HOME

WITH MY MOM AND MY DAD AND MY BROTHER, CHRIS,

BECAUSE LIVING ON MY OWN IS JUST TOO DIFFICULT.

CHRIS HAS CEREBRAL PALSY,

AND IN MANY INSTANCES, MY LIMITATIONS FAR EXCEED HIS.

AND THAT'S A BIG STATEMENT.

A CONDITION THAT HE WAS BORN WITH

IS EXCEEDED BY A CONDITION THAT I'VE PUT UPON MYSELF.

I FEEL LIKE MY PARENTS

PROBABLY WORRY MORE ABOUT ME THAN CHRIS.

[ Voice breaking ] AND IT MAKES ME FEEL GUILT.

I FEEL LIKE I'M LETTING HIM DOWN.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

[ Crying ] AND I NEED TO BE THERE FOR HIM.

[ Normal voice ] HE DESERVES THAT.

EVEN THOUGH I CAN BARELY GET AROUND,

I STILL TRY TO WORK.

IT'S THE ONLY TIME I LEAVE THE HOUSE,

AND IT GIVES ME A CHANCE TO EAT MORE WITHOUT ANYONE KNOWING.

CAN I GET TWO GLAZED, TWO CHOCOLATE ICED,

AND DOUGHNUT HOLES?

THANK YOU.

MY REWARD FOR GETTING UP AND BEING A HUMAN BEING

IS THAT I GET DOUGHNUTS.

WHEN I HAVE THIS BAG OF DOUGHNUTS

AND MY CHOCOLATE MILK,

THEN IT'S LIKE PARTY TIME, U.S.A.

BUT I DON'T WANT PEOPLE KNOWING

THAT I'M EATING DOUGHNUTS EVERY MORNING,

SO I ALWAYS GO THROUGH HERE

AND THROW AWAY MY TRASH ON MY WAY TO WORK.

I AM AN ASSISTANT COSTUME DESIGNER AT A THEATER,

AND TO WALK BACK TO WHERE WE WORK IS A VERY LONG WAY.

AND SO, I HAVE TO PARK IN THE LOADING DOCK.

AND I'LL HAVE SOMEONE OPEN THE DOOR FOR ME.

[ Voice breaking ] IT'S GETTING MORE AND MORE DIFFICULT

TO GO TO WORK

BECAUSE JUST MEASURING SOMEBODY,

YOU'VE GOT TO BE ABLE TO STAND ON YOUR FEET.

AND SO, THAT TASK, WHICH SHOULD BE MINE,

IS PLACED ON SOMEONE ELSE.

IT FEELS LIKE EVERY DAY, I CAN DO LESS AND LESS.

I'VE GOTTEN SO BIG NOW

I CAN'T PHYSICALLY GO DOWN THE SPIRAL STAIRCASE

WHERE OUR COSTUME STOCK IS.

I FEEL VERY CLOSE TO NOT BEING ABLE TO DO THIS JOB.

MY WEIGHT HAS DEFINITELY CHANGED THE OUTSIDE ME,

BUT NOW IT HAS LEAKED INTO MY CORE SELF

AND CHANGED ME INTO A PERSON THAT I DON'T RECOGNIZE.

I KNOW THAT THE THING THAT I GO TO FOR COMFORT,

THE THING I'VE RELIED ON ALL THESE YEARS,

IS WHAT'S KILLING ME.

I'M A TICKING TIME BOMB.

AND IF I DON'T LOSE THIS WEIGHT, I'LL DIE.

I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A FUNERAL PLANNED

MORE THAN I HAVE A WEDDING PLANNED.

AND YOU SHOULDN'T FEEL THAT WAY AT 33 YEARS OLD.

I'M AT THAT POINT WHERE I HAVE NO WHERE ELSE TO GO.

IF I DON'T LOSE THIS WEIGHT, IT'S GONNA KILL ME.

Nikki: THE BIGGEST STEPS OF FAITH

ARE THE ONES THAT ARE NOT ONLY HARD

BUT COME WITH NO GUARANTEES.

IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT. IT'LL BE GOOD.

I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

Terry: THERE IS A GREAT DEAL OF ANXIETY

IN TERMS OF WHETHER SHE'LL ACTUALLY BE ACCEPTED

IN THE PROGRAM.

IF NIKKI ISN'T ACCEPTED,

I DON'T THINK SHE'S GOING TO LIVE MUCH LONGER.

Nikki: THIS IS MY ROCK BOTTOM AND MY LAST CHANCE,

AND IF THIS DOCTOR CAN'T DO ANYTHING FOR ME,

I WOULD PROBABLY FEEL LIKE IT WAS A DEATH SENTENCE.

SO, NOW THAT WE'RE ACTUALLY ON THE ROAD,

ARE YOU A LITTLE BIT NERVOUS?

I THINK I'LL BE MORE NERVOUS ONCE WE GET INTO HOUSTON.

THEN, ALL OF A SUDDEN, IT'S REAL.

YEAH. IT'S LIKE, "THIS IS FOR REAL."

Nikki: WE'VE BEEN IN THE CAR FOR EIGHT HOURS.

RIGHT NOW, I'M JUST READY TO GET OUT AND MEET THE DOCTOR.

Woman: NIKKI WEBSTER?

Nikki: IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I'VE CHECKED MY WEIGHT.

I JUST HOPE THAT IT'S NOT TOO HIGH.

Woman: 649.

I'M JUST SHOCKED TO SEE THAT NUMBER,

BECAUSE IT'S THE HIGHEST I'VE EVER WEIGHED.

HELLO. HELLO.

I'M DR. NOWZARADAN.

NIKKI WEBSTER.

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

I'M DOING WELL.

SO, YOU ARE 650 POUNDS?

YES. OKAY.

WHAT SEEMS TO BE YOUR BIGGEST CHALLENGE

WITH YOUR EATING HABIT?

I THINK NOT REALLY THINKING ABOUT WHAT I'M EATING

AND JUST GETTING WHAT I'M CRAVING.

WHAT DO YOU EAT IN THE MORNING?

AN EGG AND SAUSAGE BISCUIT.

AND LUNCH, WHAT DO YOU DO?

MY LUNCH IS USUALLY PRETTY HEALTHY,

UM, BUT COMING HOME,

I'LL STOP AND GO TO A FAST-FOOD RESTAURANT.

WHEN YOU GET HOME, DO YOU EAT AT HOME?

YES. TYPICALLY, THEN I'LL HAVE DINNER WITH MY FAMILY.

SO, YOUR PARENTS GIVE YOU MORE FOOD AFTER EATING ALL DAY?

NIKKI IS EATING FIVE TO SIX TIMES A DAY.

SOME OF THAT IS ENABLED BY HER FAMILY.

THEY'RE HELPING KILL HER IF THEY DON'T STOP THIS.

SOMETIMES, AS A PARENT, IT'S HARD TO KNOW

IF YOU'RE HELPING OR ENABLING, YOU KNOW?

SOMETIMES, THERE'S A FINE LINE.

IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED.

IF IT'S HURTING HER, IT'S ENABLING HER.

AND NIKKI IS AT A VERY DANGEROUS POINT.

A NORMAL PERSON'S BMI IS 18 TO 25.

YOUR BMI IS 105.

THE CHANCES THAT YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT TO 40

ARE NOT THAT GOOD.

NIKKI NEED TO MAKE CHANGES NOW

BEFORE SHE DEVELOPS ANY SERIOUS HEALTH ISSUE

THAT CAN PREVENT SURGERY FROM EVEN BEING AN OPTION.

SO, YOU ARE NOT A CANDIDATE RIGHT NOW

FOR DOING WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

YOU NEED TO TAKE SOME PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.

AND YOUR PARENTS NEED TO SHOW THAT THEY CAN STOP ENABLING YOU

BEFORE YOU'RE READY.

I'M GOING TO START YOU ON 1,200 CALORIE A DAY DIET.

THEN YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO LOSE 50 POUNDS

OVER THE NEXT MONTH.

OH, MY GOSH.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF WEIGHT.

IT IS NOT. IT IS NOT.

OKAY.

YOU'RE GONNA EAT THREE TIMES A DAY.

NO CARB IN YOUR DIET.

NO SUGARY DRINK. NO SODAS.

NO FRUIT.

NO -- NO FRUIT?

NO FRUIT. OKAY.

OKAY, FRUIT HAS A LOT OF SUGAR IN IT.

ALL RIGHT?

I'M READY TO DO IT.

OKAY?

READY TO CLEAN OUT MY PANTRY.

DAD IS GONNA HELP YOU WITH THAT?

DAD WILL HELP. MOM WILL HELP.

BROTHER WILL HELP.

ALL RIGHT? I'LL SEE YOU NEXT MONTH.

50 POUNDS LESS.

OKAY. [ LAUGHS ]

NIKKI NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND HOW BAD HER SITUATION IS.

SHE DOESN'T HAVE MUCH TIME LEFT.

I'VE NEVER LOST 50 POUNDS IN A MONTH.

Nikki: THIS IS A LITTLE OVERWHELMING.

BUT I HAVE NO DOUBT

THAT THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I HAVE TO DO.

I'M JUST HOPING THAT I DON'T LET MYSELF DOWN.

IT'S BEEN A TOUGH FEW WEEKS.

WHEN WE GOT HOME FROM SEEING THE DOCTOR,

THE FIRST THING WE DID

WAS GET RID OF THE FOOD THAT WAS NOT ON THE DIET.

IT WAS REALLY HARD TO LET SOME OF THAT GO.

I'VE REALLY HAD TO TAKE IT A MEAL AT A TIME.

BECAUSE IF I THINK ABOUT IT, I'LL GET TOTALLY OVERWHELMED.

START EATING. Y'ALL ARE ALREADY DONE.

Llewellyn: WELL, YEAH.

MINE CAME TO 345.

ALL RIGHT, DAD. WHAT DID YOUR CALORIES COME TO?

IT CAME TO 274 CALORIES.

NO.

DID YOU HAVE A TOSTADA?

OH, I FORGOT THE TOSTADA.

[ LAUGHS ] I WAS ABOUT TO SAY...

CHANGING MY EATING HABITS HAS BEEN A HARD ADJUSTMENT,

AND I'M NOT SURE OF MY PROGRESS RIGHT NOW.

I FEEL NERVOUS TO SEE DR. NOWZARADAN,

BECAUSE I'M SCARED THAT I HAVEN'T LOST ENOUGH WEIGHT,

MOSTLY BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO EXERCISE

AS MUCH AS I'D LIKE TO.

GOING TO SEE THE DOCTOR

WAS MORE ACTIVITY THAN I'VE HAD IN A LONG TIME.

BY THE TIME I LEFT, I WAS HAVING TROUBLE BREATHING,

AND I'VE HAD TO START USING MY OXYGEN AGAIN.

SO, I'VE JUST BEEN DOING, LIKE, SOME WEIGHTS,

SOME SIMPLE EXERCISES.

I CAN FEEL MY BODY DETERIORATING,

SO I KNOW THIS IS A RACE AGAINST THE CLOCK.

AND I HOPE WHAT I'M DOING IS GOING TO BE ENOUGH.

TODAY IS MY SECOND APPOINTMENT WITH DR. NOWZARADAN.

I'VE BEEN WAITING

AND COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS FOR IT TO COME.

AND I'M HOPING THAT I'VE LOST AT LEAST 50 POUNDS.

SO MUCH IS RIDING ON THAT NUMBER.

I REALLY HOPE THAT I'VE DONE ENOUGH.

Nikki: I'M REALLY SCARED

THAT I'M NOT GOING TO BE UNDER 600 POUNDS

TO QUALIFY FOR SURGERY.

Woman: 587.

IS THAT THE REAL NUMBER?

[ CHUCKLES ]

-THAT'S THE REAL NUMBER. -OKAY.

THANK YOU, DADDY.

I LOVE YOU.

Nikki: I WORKED SO HARD TO DO THIS.

TO SEE IT PAY OFF IS INCREDIBLE.

HELLO.

-HELLO. -DR. NOWZARADAN.

I SEE YOU LOST 63 POUNDS IN ONE MONTH.

YES.

DID YOU THINK YOU WERE GONNA LOSE THAT?

NO, I DID NOT.

NOW YOU KNOW HOW TO DO IT, RIGHT?

YES. MOST DEFINITELY.

YOU'VE DONE VERY WELL, BUT I NEED TO RUN SOME TESTS

TO BE SURE THAT YOU'RE READY FOR SURGERY NOW.

OKAY? OKAY.

I'M REALLY HAPPY WITH NIKKI'S PROGRESS,

BUT SHE CARRIES MOST OF HER WEIGHT IN THE ABDOMEN,

WHICH CAN COMPROMISE HER RESPIRATORY SYSTEM OR HEART.

I NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT HER BODY CAN HANDLE SURGERY

OR SHE WOULD LIKELY NOT SURVIVE THE PROCEDURE.

Nikki: I'M NOT SURE WHAT THE DOCTOR IS LOOKING FOR,

BUT I'VE WORKING REALLY HARD TO LOSE THE WEIGHT,

AND I'M SCARED RIGHT NOW

THAT'S ALL GONNA HAVE BEEN FOR NOTHING.

[ SIGHS ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

SO, YOUR EKG LOOKS GOOD.

BUT CHEST X-RAY INDICATES

THAT YOU MAY HAVE WHAT WE CALL PULMONARY HYPERTENSION.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

THAT MEANS YOUR WEIGHT HAS AFFECTED YOUR HEART,

AND YOUR HEART IS NOT ABLE TO TRANSPORT ENOUGH OXYGEN

FOR YOUR BODY.

SO, WE'VE GOT A LITTLE WAYS TO GO

TO GET YOU TO A POINT

THAT WE CAN SAFELY PUT YOU TO SLEEP AND DO SURGERY ON YOU.

NIKKI STILL HAS A LOT OF WEIGHT PUSHING ON HER HEART.

THE ONLY WAY TO FIX IT IS FOR HER TO LOSE MORE WEIGHT.

IF SHE'S UNABLE TO DO THIS,

SURGERY WOULD NOT BE AN OPTION FOR HER.

I WANT YOU TO LOSE ANOTHER 50 POUNDS

OVER THE NEXT COUPLE MONTHS AND TRY TO ADDRESS THIS ISSUE.

OKAY. SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.

THIS NEED TO BE FIXED NOW.

Terry: WE'LL DO THAT.

[ CRYING ]

Nikki: I WORKED SO HARD,

AND TO BE TOLD MY BODY CAN'T HANDLE SURGERY?

I JUST FEEL HOPELESS RIGHT NOW,

COMPLETELY HOPELESS.

WHEN I SAW THAT I HAD LOST 60 POUNDS,

I THOUGHT THAT ALL MY HARD WORK HAD PAID OFF.

BUT WHEN THE DOCTOR TOLD ME

THAT MY BODY WAS TOO BAD FOR SURGERY,

I JUST WANTED TO GIVE UP.

BUT I WANT TO LIVE.

I DID IT ONCE.

I KNOW I CAN DO IT AGAIN.

AND I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME IF I DON'T DO THIS.

I'M STARTING TO BE ABLE TO DO MORE,

AND I FEEL LIKE I'M GETTING MY LIFE BACK.

IT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO KEEP GOING.

AND THE HOPE I FEEL RIGHT NOW FOR A NEW LIFE

MAKES ME REALIZE I HAVE TO TRULY LET GO OF EVERYTHING

THAT LED TO MY OLD LIFE.

THIS IS MY BOX

THAT HAD CHOCOLATE BARS AND CANDY AND --

BUT I'VE THROWN IT ALL OUT.

HAVING A BOX OF CANDY NEXT TO MY BED

DISRESPECTS THE WORK THAT I'VE DONE SO FAR.

THERE'S NO GOING BACK.

I KNOW IT HAS TO BE ALL OR NOTHING

BECAUSE THIS NEXT DOCTOR'S VISIT IS MY LAST CHANCE.

Woman: MS. WEBSTER?

THIS HAS BEEN A REALLY HARD COUPLE OF MONTHS.

HI.

MY GOAL WAS TO LOSE ANOTHER 50 POUNDS

AND GET BELOW 550.

BUT GETTING ON THE SCALE

AND WAITING FOR THE NUMBER TO COME UP

IS JUST TERRIFYING.

Llewellyn: IS THAT GOOD?

YEAH, IT'S GOOD. IT'S GOOD.

I'M REALLY PROUD OF MYSELF.

BUT I'M TRYING TO KEEP EXPECTATIONS LOW,

BECAUSE I STILL DON'T KNOW

IF THIS HAS BEEN ENOUGH TO FIX MY HEART.

HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING?

DOING WELL.

YOU'RE LOSING ALMOST A POUND A DAY,

WHICH IS VERY GOOD.

SO, LET ME GET SOME TESTS DONE ON YOU,

AND THEN I'LL ASSESS THE POSSIBILITY

OF DOING WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

NIKKI'S DONE VERY WELL, BUT I NEED TO SEE

IF THE PRESSURE ON HER HEART HAS BEEN RELIEVED ENOUGH

FOR US TO SAFELY DO SURGERY ON HER.

Nikki: IT'S BEEN SO HARD TO GET THIS FAR.

I'M JUST REALLY SCARED RIGHT NOW

THAT EVERYTHING I'VE DONE IS NOT GOING TO BE ENOUGH.

Nikki: I'M REALLY ANXIOUS TO FIND OUT IF MY TESTS ARE GOOD

AND IF I'M APPROVED FOR SURGERY.

THIS JUST HAS TO HAPPEN FOR ME.

OKAY.

EVERYTHING LOOKING GOOD.

I THINK WE'RE GONNA GO AHEAD

AND APPROVE YOUR SURGERY AT THIS POINT.

EXCELLENT.

YOU EXCITED?

-[ LAUGHS ] -YES.

YES, I AM EXCITED.

ALL RIGHT.

-THANK YOU. -THANK YOU.

Dr. Nowzaradan: I'M VERY PROUD OF NIKKI.

I KNOW THIS WASN'T EASY FOR HER, BUT HER WORK HAS PAID OFF.

AND SURGERY IS GONNA HELP HER TO MAKE EVEN MORE PROGRESS.

Nikki: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S REALLY HAPPENING.

I FEEL LIKE THE DOCTOR IS GIVING ME THIS AMAZING CHANCE.

AND I'M NOT GOING TO FAIL.

I'M GLAD THIS DAY HAS COME,

BUT I FEEL TERRIFIED ABOUT WHAT COULD HAPPEN.

I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

SEVERAL MONTHS AGO,

IT WAS NOT UNCOMMON FOR ME TO THINK ABOUT MY FUNERAL.

AND NOW I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A CHANCE.

I'M RISKING MY LIFE TO HAVE A LIFE.

Dr. Nowzaradan: NIKKI HAD DONE VERY WELL,

BUT EVEN WITH ALL OF HER PROGRESS,

SHE'S STILL CARRYING A LOT OF WEIGHT AROUND HER ABDOMEN,

WHICH CAN PUT PRESSURE ON THE HEART AND LUNGS

IF WE DON'T WORK FAST.

TODAY, WE'RE GONNA DO GASTRIC BYPASS ON NIKKI.

THIS IS AN OPERATION THAT WE REDUCE THE STOMACH

FROM A SIZE OF A FOOTBALL TO THE SIZE OF A SMALL ORANGE.

THIS WILL LIMIT THE AMOUNT

THAT PATIENT CAN EAT IN ONE SITTING.

WE ALSO REROUTE OR BYPASS THE INTESTINE

TO SHORTEN THE LENGTH.

BY DOING THAT,

WE ALSO KIND OF LIMIT THE AMOUNT OF FOOD ABSORPTION.

Llewellyn: NIKKI'S PROBABLY BEEN IN SURGERY FOR TWO HOURS.

YOUR IMAGINATION RUNS AWAY WITH YOU AND YOU WORRY.

WE'RE JUST ANXIOUS FOR HER TO COME OUT OF SURGERY.

Dr. Nowzaradan: I WAS HOPING TO DO A BYPASS ON NIKKI,

BUT WITH HOW MUCH THE ABDOMEN HAS BEEN STRETCHED

WITH HER WEIGHT,

THE BOWEL WOULD NOT REACH FOR DOING A BYPASS.

SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY IS AN OPERATION

THAT JUST REDUCES THE SIZE OF THE STOMACH

AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A SLEEVE INSTEAD OF A BIG BALL.

IT CAN BE JUST AS EFFECTIVE AS BYPASS.

ALL RIGHT.

WE HAD SOME CHANGE OF PLAN, BUT EVERYTHING WENT VERY WELL.

EVEN THOUGH NIKKI DIDN'T HAVE BYPASS,

A SLEEVE IS GOING TO HELP HER TO LOSE A LOT OF WEIGHT.

BUT IF SHE PUSHES HERSELF TO EAT MORE,

THE SURGERY CAN BECOME INEFFECTIVE

MUCH FASTER THAN BYPASS.

SHE NEEDS TO STAY MOTIVATED TO KEEP MAKING PROGRESS.

YOU READY TO SLEEP IN YOUR BED TONIGHT?

IT'S BEEN A WHILE.

Nikki: I'M REALLY NERVOUS

ABOUT GOING BACK TO THE PLACE WHERE ALL MY TEMPTATIONS ARE.

THE DOCTOR SAID I COULD RETURN A WHILE AGO,

BUT I THINK I'VE BEEN STALLING.

WHEN I WOKE UP FROM SURGERY,

IT WAS SCARY TO FIND OUT THAT I DIDN'T GET THE FULL BYPASS.

BUT I'VE STILL BEEN LOSING WEIGHT OVER THE PAST MONTH.

IT'S GETTING HARDER, THOUGH,

BECAUSE MY CRAVINGS ARE SLOWLY COMING BACK.

YOU KNOW, EVENTUALLY, YOU'LL STOP IN

AND SAY HI TO YOUR FRIENDS AT THE OLD DOUGHNUT SHOP.

[ LAUGHS ]

THEY PROBABLY THINK THAT SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED TO ME.

[ LAUGHS ]

THEY SAID, "HOW ARE WE GONNA MAKE OUR RENT?"

[ LAUGHS ]

THAT WAS MEAN!

ALL RIGHT. HOME, SWEET HOME.

I WAS FOCUSED ON GETTING THE SURGERY.

NOW THAT I HAVE IT AND STILL HAVE CRAVINGS,

I'M REALIZING HOW MUCH I'VE BEEN USING FOOD

TO AVOID DEALING WITH SOME THINGS.

I'M PROUD OF HOW FAR I'VE COME.

SO THERE'S NO TURNING BACK FOR ME AT THIS POINT.

THANKSGIVING IS IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS,

AND EVERYONE IS COMING TO OUR HOUSE TO EAT.

NOT ONLY DOES IT MEAN

THAT THIS HOUSE WILL BE FILLED WITH FOOD,

BUT THAT MY SISTER COURTNEY WILL BE HERE.

I HAVEN'T REALLY TALKED TO HER IN YEARS

BECAUSE AT ONE POINT SHE BROKE OFF OUR RELATIONSHIP.

SHE WAS SCARED THAT MY SIZE

WAS EMOTIONALLY DISTRESSING TO HER KIDS.

IT MADE ME FEEL MORE LIKE A FAILURE

THAN I EVER HAD BEFORE.

AND I'VE NEVER DEALT WITH IT.

I JUST ATE MORE AND MORE.

AND NOW, I CAN'T HIDE IN FOOD. I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THINGS.

AND THAT'S SCARY.

Nikki: THERE ARE MOMENTS YOU FACE

THAT CAN NOT ONLY DETERMINE YOUR FUTURE

BUT REDEFINE YOUR PAST.

THE MORE I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THE THINGS I NEED TO DEAL WITH,

THE MORE I'VE REALIZED I CAN'T DO THIS ON MY OWN.

I'VE ALWAYS FELT LIKE A FAILURE,

AND THERE'S NO WAY I'LL BE ABLE TO TALK TO MY SISTER OR MY MOM

IF I CAN'T GET PAST THAT.

SO I'M GONNA SEE A THERAPIST TODAY.

HI.

MY NAME'S LEE. I'M NIKKI.

NICE TO MEET YOU. COME ON IN.

WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME A LITTLE BIT

ABOUT WHY YOU'RE HERE?

WELL, I HAVE STRUGGLED WITH MY WEIGHT MY WHOLE LIFE,

SO I MADE THE DECISION TO HAVE SURGERY.

AND I AM CONCERNED ABOUT GAINING IT BACK.

RIGHT.

WELL, 88% OF WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THIS

IS ACTUALLY SUBCONSCIOUS.

SO THERE ARE EMOTIONAL ISSUES WHY YOU EAT,

AND SO IT'S IMPORTANT TO DEAL WITH THE EMOTIONAL ISSUES

THAT CAUSED THE WEIGHT GAIN IN THE FIRST PLACE.

LIKE, TAKE ME BACK.

TAKE ME BACK TO SOME CHILDHOOD STUFF

THAT YOU'RE CARRYING AROUND WITH YOU.

UM, WHEN I WAS LIKE 13 OR SO,

BOTH MY SISTERS WERE GETTING MARRIED,

AND I --

I THINK THAT MAYBE I FELT LIKE I WAS JUST IN THE BACKGROUND.

AND NOT KNOWING HOW TO DEAL WITH THOSE EMOTIONS,

EATING WAS MY COPING MECHANISM.

RIGHT.

AND SO I REALIZE

THAT I HAVE TO FIND A NEW COPING MECHANISM,

BUT I GET SO CONSUMED WITH THAT THOUGHT OF LIKE,

"I CAN'T DO THIS, I'M NOT STRONG ENOUGH",

I'M AFRAID THAT I'LL JUST THROW IT ALL AWAY,

AND THAT TERRIFIES ME.

WELL, THAT 88% IS WORKING AGAINST YOU.

SO THAT'S WHY MOST PEOPLE JUST GAIN IT RIGHT BACK.

UNLESS YOU MAKE CHANGES IN THE SUBCONSCIOUS.

SO, YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH.

BUT YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO SEE THAT

BECAUSE IT'S SOMETHING YOU'RE CARRYING AROUND WITH YOU --

LITERALLY.

AND ONCE YOU'RE ABLE TO LET GO OF THAT,

THEN IT BECOMES EASIER TO KEEP THE WEIGHT OFF,

'CAUSE YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE STRONG ENOUGH.

YEAH.

ALL OF THIS CAN BE CHANGED. YOU CAN KEEP THE WEIGHT OFF.

OKAY.

Nikki: I THINK, FOR SO MANY YEARS,

I JUST ASSUMED THAT I WOULD FAIL AND LET PEOPLE DOWN.

I KNOW THAT I'VE GOT TO LET THAT GO,

AND PART OF THAT IS LETTING GO

OF THE PAIN I'VE HAD WITH MY SISTER AND MY MOM.

AS THANKSGIVING HAS GOTTEN CLOSER AND CLOSER,

I'VE GOTTEN MORE NERVOUS

ABOUT SEEING MY SISTER AND TALKING WITH HER.

BUT RIGHT NOW, I'M JUST FOCUSING ON

NOT EATING ANYTHING I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO.

COURTNEY KNOWS THAT I'M TRYING TO LOSE THE WEIGHT,

AND I'M HOPING THIS WILL HELP OUR RELATIONSHIP.

I WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO COURTNEY

ABOUT WHEN SHE DISTANCED HERSELF FROM ME

BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT.

SO I ASKED HER IF I COULD SHOW HER SOME OF MY NEW MAKEUP.

DO I REALLY LOOK THAT DIFFERENT TO YOU?

YES. YOU DO.

I KNOW THAT MY WEIGHT HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN ISSUE

IN ALL OF OUR LIVES, AND, UM...

[ Voice breaking ] I KNOW THAT THAT WAS HARD FOR YOU

TO, YOU KNOW, TELL ME

THAT YOU NEEDED TO STEP BACK A LITTLE BIT

AND GIVE IT SOME SPACE.

[ Voice breaking ] IT WAS HARD, NIKKI.

I NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOU.

AND IT'S BEEN PAINFUL TO JUST WATCH YOU DYING

AND NOT KNOW IF I'D EVER SEE YOU AGAIN.

YOU KNOW?

I WORRIED ABOUT THAT EVERY TIME I SA--

AND I JUST WASN'T THINKING ABOUT WHAT IT WAS DOING TO YOU.

YOU HAVE A LIFE TO LIVE,

AND I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU COMING ALIVE.

GIVE ME A HUG.

I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU.

AND I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

ME TOO.

DO YOU WANT TO GO FOR A LITTLE WALK?

Chris: YEAH.

Nikki: TALKING WITH MY SISTER LAST MONTH WAS REALLY GOOD.

I FEEL LIKE I'M MAKING PROGRESS,

AND I'VE REALLY BEEN PUSHING MYSELF TO DO MORE AND MORE.

YOU GOT ME?

I GOT YOU.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. [ LAUGHS ]

ONE OF MY GOALS FOR YEARS

HAS BEEN TO START TAKING CARE OF MY BROTHER.

LET'S SEE IF WE CAN MAKE IT TO THAT CAR OVER THERE.

LET'S SEE IF I CAN MAKE IT TO THAT CAR OVER THERE.

MY PARENTS HAVE NOT ONLY HAD TO TAKE ON THAT RESPONSIBILITY

BY THEMSELVES,

THEY ALSO HAD TO TAKE CARE OF ME AT THE SAME TIME.

I WANT TO CHANGE THAT.

I'M DOING EVERYTHING I SAID I WOULD.

HERE WE GO.

I'M DOWN 160 POUNDS,

AND MY GOAL IS TO HAVE LOST OVER 200 POUNDS

AT MY ONE-YEAR MARK.

AND I'M GONNA DO IT.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME,

I BELIEVE IN MYSELF.

Nikki: I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT TONIGHT.

HEY! HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

HOW'S LIFE? GOOD.

I'M GONNA HANG OUT WITH SOME FRIENDS

AND GO SEE AN IMPROV SHOW.

IT'S BEEN AGES SINCE I'VE SEEN SOME OF THESE FRIENDS.

COULD YOU, MY GOOD FRIEND NIKKI,

COME AND HELP ME OUT FOR A MINUTE?

ARE YOU KIDDING? I AM NOT KIDDING YOU.

WOULD YOU COME HELP ME, PLEASE?

OKAY. EXCELLENT.

HANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS AND BEING SOCIAL

IS A HUGE PART IN MY PERSONALITY.

WE'RE GONNA BE PLAYING A GAME CALLED "SPEED DATING."

THAT IS SOMETHING THAT I REALLY MISSED IN MY LIFE.

HEY, HOTNESS.

HEY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

Nikki: I'VE SPENT SO MANY YEARS OF MY LIFE

HIDING FROM EVERYONE.

I'M WORKING HARD TO LOSE THE WEIGHT,

AND I'M GETTING BACK OUT THERE.

[ BELL DINGS ]

[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]

-NIKKI! -GIVE IT UP FOR NIKKI!

Nikki: I'M GONNA SEE THE DOCTOR NEXT MONTH,

AND I AM DETERMINED TO HIT MY GOAL

OF LOSING 200 POUNDS IN A YEAR.

THERE IS NO GOING BACK.

HOW ARE YOU? GOOD.

I'M HEADED TO THE DOCTOR,

AND MY GOAL HAS BEEN TO HIT 449 POUNDS WITHIN A YEAR.

AND I'M EXCITED TO SEE WHAT THE SCALE SAYS.

I'VE USUALLY BEEN AFRAID OF WHAT IT MIGHT SAY.

443.

WHAT? [ LAUGHS ]

MY GOSH, YOU SILLY GIRL.

Dr. Nowzaradan: YOU LOST 200 POUNDS.

THAT'S VERY GOOD.

THANK YOU.

Dr. Nowzaradan: NIKKI WORKED VERY HARD,

AND I HAVE NO DOUBT

THAT SHE WILL REACH HER TARGET WEIGHT NEXT YEAR.

THANKS, DR. NOWZARADAN. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

YOU'RE QUITE WELCOME. I'LL SEE YOU IN THREE MONTHS.

SOUNDS GOOD. OKAY.

I'M FEELING REALLY CONFIDENT RIGHT NOW,

SO I DECIDED IT WAS TIME TO TALK TO MY MOM

AND DEAL WITH SOME OF THE EMOTIONS I'VE HAD

WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP.

I THINK I FELT LIKE I WAS JUST NEVER GOOD ENOUGH.

I HATE THAT YOU EVER FELT THAT WAY.

I HOPE I DON'T EVER HURT YOUR FEELINGS,

'CAUSE I LOVE YOU.

MM.

I LOVE YOU, TOO, BABY.

I CAN DO SO MUCH MORE NOW.

WORK IS SO MUCH DIFFERENT

BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I CAN ACTUALLY DO MY JOB.

I DON'T HAVE TO RELY ON OTHERS TO DO MY JOB FOR ME.

IS THAT TOO TIGHT? NO, THAT'S FINE.

THAT FEEL GOOD? OKAY.

Terry: NIKKI'S WEIGHT LOSS

HAS JUST HAD A POSITIVE EFFECT NOT ONLY ON HER, OF COURSE,

BUT ALSO ON OUR WHOLE FAMILY.

SHE IS DOING MUCH MORE FOR HERSELF,

AND SHE'S TRYING TO DO EVEN MORE FOR CHRIS.

THANKS FOR COMING OUT WITH ME.

SINCE I'VE BEEN LOSING WEIGHT,

WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO DO A LITTLE BIT MORE, HUH?

UH-HUH.

I LIKE BEING ABLE TO SPEND THAT TIME WITH YOU.

I DO, TOO.

Nikki: A YEAR AGO, I FELT DEBILITATED,

AND TODAY, IT'S LITERALLY A BRAND-NEW LIFE.

I'M DOING THINGS THAT I HAVEN'T DONE IN FOREVER,

AND IT FEELS AMAZING.

I'VE TAKEN CONTROL OF MY LIFE.